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"If only I couldn't find him! If only I were relieved of this responsibility, I could use all my strength to fight for my own survival, to take care of only myself" Page 106

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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"Please sir... I'd rather be near my father." Page 50

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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"Well, Father what are we going to do?' He was silent. 'Lets be evacuated with the other,' I said. He didn't answer. He was looking at my foot. 'You think you'll be able to walk?' 'Yes, I think so.' 'Let's hope we won't regret it, Eliezer." Page 82

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"From time to time, I was able to send a piece of bread to my father.' Page 78

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"My father was crying. It was the first time I saw him cry."
Page 19

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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"He continued to call me. The officer came closer and shouted to him to be silent. But my father did not hear. He continued to call for me. The officer wielded his club and dealt him a violent blow to the head. I didn't move. Page 111

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"I watched it all happen without moving. I kept silent. I fact, I of stealing away in order not to suffer the blows... I felt anger at that moment, it was not directed at the Kapo but at my father." Page 54

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"He slapped my father with such force that fell down and then crawled back to his place all fours... My father had just been struck, in front or me, and I had not even blinked." Page 39

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"No prayers were said over his tomb. No candle lit in his memory. His last words had been my name. He had called out and I had not answered." Page 112

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"I began to laugh. I was happy. I felt like kissing him. At that moment, the others did not matter! They had not written me down." page 72

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"I did not weep, and it pained me that I could not weep. But I was out of tears." Page 112

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"I walked for hours without finding him." page 106

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"I did all I could to give him hope." page 108

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“I spent my days in total idleness. With only one desire: to eat. I no longer thought of my father, or my mother. From time to time, I would dream. But only about soup, an extra ration of soup.” Page 113

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"I did not weep, and it pained me that I could not weep. But I was out of tears. And deep inside my, if I could have searched the recess of my feeble conscience, I might have found something like: Free at last!" Page 112

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"the old man grumbled, groaned, and died. Nobody cared. His son searched him, took the crust of bread and began to devoured it." Page 101

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"If only I couldn't find him! If only I were relieved of this responsibility, I could use all my strength to fight for my own survival, to take care of only myself" Page 106

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"He had felt his father growing weaker and believing that the end was near, had though by this separation to free himself from a burden that could diminish his own chances for survival" Page 91

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“He had watched me one day as I prayed at dusk. "Why do you cry when you pray?" he asked, as though he knew me well. "I don't know," I answered, troubled. I had never asked myself that question. I cried because because something inside me felt the need to cry. That was all I knew. "Why do you pray?" he asked after a moment. Why did I pray? Strange question. Why did I live? Why did I breathe? "I don't know," I told him, even more troubled and ill at ease. "I don't know." page 4

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“and in spite of myself, a prayer rose in my heart, to the God in whom I no longer believed." Page 91

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"I stretched out and tried to sleep, to doze a little, but in vain. God knows what I would have given to be able to sleep a few moments. But deep inside, I knew that to sleep meant to die. And something against me rebelled against death." page 89

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"An icy wind was blowing violently. But we marched without faltering." page 85

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“I did not fast. First of all, to please my father who had forbidden me to do so. And then, there was no longer any reason for me to fast. I no longer accepted God’s silence. As I swallowed my ration of soup, I turned that act into a symbol of rebellion, or protest against Him.” page 69

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“‘Where is merciful God, where is He?’ someone behind me was asking.” page 64

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"But as soon as he felt the first chinks in his faith, he lost all incentive to fight and opened the door to death" Page 77

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"I didn't move. I was afraid, my body was afraid of another blow, this time to my head." Page 136 (PDF)

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“Behind me, I heard the same man asking: ‘For God’s sake, where is God?’ and from within me, I heard a voice answer: ‘Where He is? This is where-hanging here from this gallows” page 65

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"I watched the whole scene without moving. I kept quiet. In fact, I was thinking about hoe to get farther away so that I would not be hit myself... That was what concentration camp life had done to me." Page 79 (PDF

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“Some of the men spoke of God: His mysterious ways, the sins of the Jewish people, and the redemption to come. As for me, I had ceased to pray. I concurred with Job! I was not denying His existence, but I doubted His absolute justice.” page 45

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"From the depths of the mirror, a corpse was contemplating." Page 115

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"I had made up my mind to accompany my father wherever he went." page 82

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“For the first time, I felt anger rising within me. Why should I sanctify His name? The Almighty, the eternal and terrible Master of the Universe, chose to be silent. What was there to thank Him for?”  page 33

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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"I did not move. What had happened to me? My father had just been struck before, my very eyes, and I had not flickered an eyelid." Page 64 (PDF)

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"I could have screamed in anger. To have lived and endured so much; was I going to let my father die now? Now that we would be able to take a good hot shower and lie down." page 105

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"We must do something. We can't let them kill us like that, like cattle in the slaughterhouse. We must revolt. Let the world learn about the existence of Auschwitz. Let everybody find out about it while they still have a chance to escape."  page 31

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"'It's over. God is no longer with us.'" page 76

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"'I can't go on... It's over...' we tried to raise his spirits, but he wouldn't listen to anything we said. He just kept repeating that it was all over for him, that he could no longer fight, he had no more strength, no more faith." page 76

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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"I didn'thave the strength to run anymore. And my son didn't notice. Thats all i know. Where has he disappeared? Where can I find him? Perhaps you've seen him somewhere?" page 91

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"Instantly, I felt ashamed of myself forever." page 106

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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Self-Preservation Vs. Family Commitment 

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"Meir, my little Meir! Don't you recognize me... You'er killing your own father... I have bread... for you too... for you too..." Page 101

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"Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, that turned my life into one long night seven times sealed." Page 34

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"Moishe was not the same. The joy in his eyes was gone. He no longer sang. He no longer mentioned either God or Kabbalah." page 7

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"Freed of normal constraints, some of the young let go of their inhibitions and, under the cover of darkness, caressed one another, without any thought of others, alone in the world." page 23