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Empathy and understanding builds connection between people. It is a state of perceiving and relating to another person’s feelings and needs without blaming, giving advice, or trying to fix the situation. Empathy also means “reading” another person’s inner state and interpreting it in a way that will help the other person and offer support and develop mutual trust.

Every relationship we have can teach us something, and by building positive relationships with others, we will be happier and more fulfilled and feel more supported, supportive, and connected.

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BE GENUINE, CONFIDENT, HUMBLE, TRUSTWORTHY, POSITIVE, AND FUN

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BE GENUINE, CONFIDENT, HUMBLE, TRUSTWORTHY, POSITIVE, AND FUN

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People who build great relationships feel good about who they are and always look for the positive in their world. They genuinely want the best for others and want to see them succeed.

The energy of people who are comfortable in their own skin, upbeat, and positive creates an atmosphere where we feel good, want to be around, and want to spend time with them. They don’t gossip about others and keep what we tell them in confidence. Being self-confident, they don’t feel the need to draw attention to themselves. They always have time for the significant others in their lives. They are life-long learners who are always open to and looking for opportunities for self-improvement.

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BE OPEN AND SHARE WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT

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BE OPEN AND SHARE WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT

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We all know people who tell us their whole life story in the first five minutes of meeting us, totally oblivious to the fact that we likely have absolutely no interest in hearing it. To build strong relationships we need to be able to pace ourselves and share when it’s appropriate and at a level that is consistent with the depth of the relationship.

Good relationship builders show they are sharing the feelings of the other by mirroring emotions of the person speaking. Sharing excitement, joy, sorrow, frustration, and disappointment helps connect us to others.

When possible share a situation from your own experience to show that you can relate to the other’s experience, but never so that it overshadows or competes with their experience. This requires empathy and sensitivity to their feelings.

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People whose mood swings from hot to cold have a difficult time creating meaningful relationships. Regardless of how we are feeling, we need to be able to temporarily put those feelings aside to fully listen and engage others that are important in our lives.

If we are going through a period where we are experiencing strong emotions that keep us from being fully present with the other person, we are better off letting this individual know what is going on for us rather than pretending to listen. They will appreciate our honesty and openness.

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REMEMBER THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO OTHERS

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REMEMBER THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO OTHERS

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There is no more beautiful sound to our ears than the sound of our own name. Remembering people’s names is the first step to relationship building, and remembering other important aspects about them continues the building process. They will tell us what is important in their lives, all we need to do is listen and pay attention.

When they are speaking about a family member, an event, or a hobby and their faces light up, remember this factoid, as it is important to them. We don’t have to remember everything about them, just focus on their names and one important piece of information.

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We tend to remember and appreciate the people who ask us if everything is okay, even if we haven’t told them that anything is wrong. This tells us they are paying attention to us, and we all want that.

When someone is speaking, focus not only on the tone of their words, but also their facial expression and body language. Notice when someone’s words don’t match their facial expression or body language. This will open doors to having deeper, more meaningful conversations that will lead to developing trust and stronger connections.

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The best way to let people know that we hear them is to make sure that we first understand what they are saying. To do this we dig deeper and ask questions. We repeat back to them what they said in our own words to make sure what we heard makes sense to us. One possible way of making this happen is to say, “What I heard you say was . . .”

When others sense that we are making a sincere attempt to understand them, they tend to open up and share more with us. This deepens the relationship and places us in the category of people they want to seek out and talk to.

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Everyone has the basic desire to be heard and understood. Unfortunately few of us are taught how to be great listeners. Most people are too busy thinking of what they want to say next to really listen to what the other person is saying.

When you notice yourself doing this, take a breath and correct your pattern by listening well. We naturally bond with people who really listen, hear us, and that we’d want to spend time with.