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In the small hamlet of Swinkastein, lived a humble but dilligent tinker named Estuarial Sweniklaus. He lived on his own, making toys from rutabegas and tinfoil for the less fortunate children at the Scientology Orphanage.
On this particularly bright and cloudy morning, Estuarial was busy walking through the town square on his way to the orphanage to distribute his toys to all of his “little ones”, he happened on a goat wandering into a tavern. Curious about the goat, he followed it inside, where he saw a number of other goats, all drinking ale from elegant glasses. Some wore strange little hats, others had pants and suspenders, they all seemed to be having a grand time.
Estuarial looked behind the bar and saw the barkeeper filling yet another glass, this one intended for the newest member of the congregation. “Aye, what manner of madness might you be practicing here Clancy?”, he asked with a raised eyebrow. “Well laddie-buck, Iyes, tellin ya true, ma pub hangin mates ain’t been making the rounds lack in yester days, leaving Ma ta take matters into me own hands it is.” “I been now 3 and 5 fortenytes servin this lot of thirsty creatures, at least they help pay some of ma bills.

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92 BA score on Beer Advocate. 100 overall and 99 style scores on RateBeer.

ALPHA KLAUS
Alpha King's festive cousin. A big American Christmas Porter brewed with English chocolate malt, Mexican sugar, and of course, tons of strange American hops. Cheers!

Style: Christmas Porter
IBU 38 ABV 6%

With Alpha Klaus, I earned the Merry Brew-mas 2014 badge on Untappd.

Frank Zappa knew what he was talking about.

What better beer than Alpha Klaus to drink on Christmas Day? As I sit here in front of my computer, avoiding family who are elsewhere, I'm drinking a bottle of beer. My mom is pissed I didn't go with her over to be around family. Just didn't want to. After all, I am an antisocial butterfly. I'm proud of that fact.

Would rather stay home and watch a Christmas story.

PBr drinkers are probably looking at their fancy wreath.

Then they get distracted by the shiny objects on the tree.

What they got their kids.

While wearing an ugly Christmas sweater.

Probably looking at what they are attracted to.

And here is Jesus about to turn goat urine to something actually drinkable.

I did have a visitor when I was about to crack open the bottle. Even Christmas trolls know what a good beer is.

And wishing for Christmas Candy.

Did have a bottle of Alpha Klaus last year. Really liked it. When bottles became available this year, I had to snag a bottle. Found it really hard to keep it til Christmas day. Three Floyds always come up with the oddest graphics to use on their bottles. Have a feeling they like to smoke the hippy lettuce. PBR drinkers like to pair the hippy lettuce with granola.

Alpha Klaus is one of my favorite stouts. While I like Zombie Dust the best from Three Floyds the best, this one is pretty close.

Pair the beer with video of Karo Swen, I think it makes for a great Christmas.

Attention PBR drinkers, this is an actual attractive female. At least almost anything is better than what was pointed out earlier in the post.

PBR drinkers probably dropped to the floor over that fact.

The visitor tried to cock block me from the beer. I had to lay the smackdown.

Poured into a tulip. That is what a head should look like. Head isn't a bad thing on a beer. Head releases a lot of aroma and helps with taste. Try pinching your nostrils together while eating or drinking something. Taste will be slightly different. Plus who would drink a beer out of the bottle or can? Bass drinkers most likely. If beer out of cans taste metallic, then beer out of bottles taste glassy. Take that Bass drinkers.

Aroma is really nice. Roasted malts, coffee and some chocolate. There is a bit of sweetness in the aroma. Not a ton of sweetness, just enough to know it's there. Taste ranks amongst my top 5 of stouts. Roasted malts are prominent. Coffee and chocolate are pleasant. Sweetness from the mexican sugar is there but not obnoxious. Sweetness is just enough to know it's there. For those who say stouts are too bitter, Alpha Klaus has an IBU of 38. Bass has an IBU of around 49. Which one is more bitter. Most stouts are only in the 30's and 40's IBU wise. Color is dark like a good stout should be. Lacing was pretty good. Rated it 4.5 out of 5.

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92 BA score on Beer Advocate. 100 overall and 99 style scores on RateBeer. ALPHA KLAUS Alpha King's festive cousin. A big American Christmas Porter brewed with English chocolate malt, Mexican sugar, and of course, tons of strange American hops. Cheers!