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I totally forgot that I have this lil space to rant abt my life, well mostly I did that on twitter already anyway. Looking thru stuff in here, I notice how long it has been. The series I listed here was long ago and recently my interest has been shifted everywhere, I mean I collect more people I'm interested too. And most of my fangirl life now revolve around Seventeen & few artist/actors from Thai (that most of them I know from BL), my journey as fangirl is so long. My first padlet was 6/7 years ago. Times passed so much huh? Hope everyone is well :)

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Strings
If like those old myths and tales
Says humans connected by strings
Symbolize the relationship
Many writings got it down
The colour of strings and meanings
In human relationship
But it downed to the same thing
Humans are connected by strings

If relationship and feelings to others
Can be symbolize by strings
Then the attachment happened
when we cast the strings
Either it's love, friends, hatred and all
It's us the human who willed
To connect the strings

So if ever the strings broke
And the relationship failed
Ask yourself, why you connect
The strings with them
If one ever to be blamed, it's you
You chose that yourself
Deserve your right
Face it.

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Dark
Something happened where
there's no light
Light
Something everyone yearn
Either gloom or bright
As long as it chase the dark
It's fine

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eyes
the deep black ees
which hold the universe
you can get lost
you can fall
you can get sucked into
those eyes are dangerous

*inspire by singto's eyes

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maybe someday will come bright
maybe someday will come dark
maybe someday sun will shed light
maybe someday sky will cry
but it's life

thou it's all life doing its cycle
thou it's tough to get it thru
but standing tall is all you can do
facing the world like there's no tomorrow
picking up the pace
running thru the so-called standard
living up the high expectation
curbing the pure happiness
shutting down the real self just to please
yeah it's the shitty life we have today

justice doesn't rule
kind doesn't save
power is the king
money is the lead
the dark kind of selfish hailed
it's the world we are in today

pondering upon the grey sky
will ever this change?
will ever this get better?
the light of hope in the heart never dim
but still who i am kidding?
there's no more getting better
either stay same or falling worse
this is life, move on
that's the only way to stay alive

if ever someday you have enough
if ever someday you want to stop
i could only say
it's life, the choice is in you
move on and stay alive
or, stop and kill yourself
the end.

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it's suffocating
when it's about living and
saving your ass
life, it's conflicting
you know the way
but there's in you
that afraid to face through

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have you ever think life is wasting time
have you ever think breathing is wasting air
have you ever think you are wasting your life
have you ever think
that you doesn't deserve to live?

would you ever want to stop walking
would you ever want to stop striving
would you ever want your life to stop
would you ever want
that death should take you away?

it would always linger
but the reason why you are still here
cause you still had that fight
that small fire in you
who still wants to see the world
see the person you care and love
see what future has for you
for that even you say you already give up
but do acknowledge, you still have hope

hope, the small fire is that
you wish for a better day
you wish for a solution
you wish in the next day, it's all fine
yes, you can wish and work for it
be proud... that you still have that fire
and fight your way.

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Seems like its far away
trying to grasp but failing
the distance was showing
its not going to be better baby

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for the time we have been together
is there even a time you wonder
will it be us forever?
or perhaps it will be back to
you and I, someday

both you and i, in this term of us
keep each other afloat
give each other strong support
hold hands facing the world
together, us

my darkest nights, there is u
your bottomless pits, there is me
our bright days, there is us
drawing smiles for the world to see
that is us are not defeated
because we're together.

growing grey side by side
has been a promise to keep
do you ever wonder if we could make it through.

us, against the world
the question only answer by time
and the doubt is undeniable
but if there's trust
then future will be good
believe and soar high
us, together.

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I finally remember to ramble here, lol. It has been a long time since I check-in here. I just want to put it here that I'm not yet over this wuxia story/series/novel and still thankful for them to make the live-action series so that today we have WangXiao. Well, I have been writing fic on them lately lol. Anyway, just like the song WangXian, this love will last forever till the end of time ^^

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Walking that hallway in the morning
Nostril filled by fresh brewed coffee
Patters of heel echoed
Yeah, another day is starting
The same cycle is going on and on

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I'm wasting time like hell and I'm afraid for next month, I wont have money. Oh my god.

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*Random order*
>Lovesick the series (BL) {S1 & S2}
>Sotus the series (BL) {S1 & S2}
>2moons the series (BL)
>Make It Right the series (BL) {S1 & S2}
>Senior Secret Love the series {S1 & S2}
>My Bromance the series (BL)
>Bad Romance the series
>Together With Me the series (BL)
>Kiss the series
>U-Prince the series
>Ugly Duckling the series
>Project S the series
>My Dear Loser the series
>War of Highschool

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After getting into Chi BL, Im now stuck with Thai series again. I ended up stanning seriously some of the actors (I think I stan them more than Chi actors -I'm sorry Baba Qing I'm a bad daughter-). I separate my two worlds with name so that I can tune myself better while fangirling. As my KPOP world has always be my heaven, so I continue calling it as MySweetHeaven. While my BL world called as MyBlackParadise. I can't unleash my whole self from this side, the very naughty part is quite sensitive to be out so I'm still careful with this world. But at least I stop hiding, because now my twitter already connect to these two worlds, while I have IG account for MyBlackParadise (link at the top). Im a happy fangirl nowadays hehe

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Some time had passed, I finished degree, go through my graduation day. Finding job and still finding. Yeap, still unemployed until now but I'm fine and not giving up. Plus I have plans that after Feb, I will surely work. I don't mind if it's part time or tedious work like cashier, as long as I'm working and feed myself. My goal, I want to stop growing with my parents' support. I want to soar out from the comfort. Even if I'm not truly ready to face the world but for me, no one could be surely ready until facing it head on. Just go on with the assured heart that you have someone that got your back, that's enough. For me I have my three besties, I have my parents. That's enough. It's time to soar out. That's me, today :)

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The Show - Kpopstream
Show Champ - YT allthekpop
MCD - aqstream
MuBank - YT KBSW
MuCore - YT MBCKpop
Inkigayo - Kpopstream

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Death is the ending of a beginning

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(GMT+8)
Tue - The Show (5.30PM)
Wed - Show Champ (6PM)
Thu - MCD (5PM)
Fri - MuBank (4PM) , SimplyK
Sat - MuCore (2.40PM)
Sun - Inkigayo (11.10AM)

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Park Doha (27/3/92)
Yoo Youngdoo (1/4/92)
Jung Yeontae (6/7/92)
Hwang Inho (21/6/93)
Lee Rowoon (15/9/93)
Tak Jingyu (10/2/94)
Choi Seonghwan (30/6/94)
Jin Sungho (18/7/94)
Han Hyunwook (26/9/94)
Isaac Voo (12/12/94)
Oh Jinseok (7/1/95)
Go Jihyeong (23/3/95)
Choi Chani (14/6/95)
Choi Jaehyun (25/7/95)
Jung Minhwan (26/7/95)
Lee Inpyo (14/8/95)
Lee Haejoon (16/8/95)
Kim Hongin (4/9/95)
Kim Jinseob (3/1/96
Kim Sunghyun (16/3/96)
Park Yongkwon (22/5/96)
Shin Jaemin (8/6/96)
Kim Yonghyun (13/9/96)
Lee Woojin (22/11/96)
Lee Changmin (19/2/97)
Kang San (28/10/97)
Chae Hocheol (8/11/97)

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I just love their slogan, the sweetest of all.
"The skyblue (Qing) awaits the misty rain (Yu) as I'm waiting for you"
Well, hope both of them grow bigger in 10 years ^^

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I would like to say I can't move on and keep crushing on Duke Wu >///< he is a toxic handsome lol. I just kennot with him huhu. Info below.
Name: Duke Wu Chengjing
DOB: 890704
Known from: History Webseries - Stay away from me (as Cheng Qing)

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Chi BL series that cant get over [28/4/17]

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Chi BL series that cant get over [28/4/17]

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>Uncontrolled love (2016) = [RuiWen] Meng Rui {871226} (Xie Yan/Shaoye) + Wang Bowen/Xiao Bai {940518} (Shu Nian)
>A round trip to love (2016) = [YuCai]  Gao Taiyu {910712} (Lu Feng) + Huang Jingxiang/Xiao Cai {890515} (Cheng Yichen)
>Addicted (2016) = [YuZhou] Johnny Huang Jingyu {921130} (Gu Hai) + Timmy Xu Weizhou {941020} (Bai Louyin) || [FengWen] Lin Fengsong/Dashu {961102} (You Qi) + Chen Wen {951214} (Yang Meng)
>Swap (2016) = [LeoLucas/MingWang] Leo Yang Yeming {940723} (Yuwen Youtian) + Lucas Yao Wang {920218} (Guang Guan)
>Like Love (2014) = [KornGer] Korn Kong Chuinan {910209} (An Ziyan) + Huang Lige/Leeger {931019} (Mai Ding)
>Counterattack (2015) = [QingYu] Wang Qing {930310} (Chi Cheng) + Feng Jianyu/Dayu {920827} (Wu Suowei)

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You say that you won't change
You say that you won't go anyway but my side
You say that but right now, here i am watching at the horizon alone
Dont say that I don't understand
Dont say that I don't get hurt
Dont say that you will stay by my side
When you didnt hear me say dont leave me
Carefully, making steps to you
Stepping into a different world
That's how far our distance are
But you're the one that I'm seeing
You who are like a dream
Please let me keep dreaming

-Dream/Irresistible love/You say that/Walk slowly-

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I have been watching too much BL movies/series and just cant stop from liking the couple, lol. I like Thai storyline (Make It Right, My Bromance, Lovesick) but stuck with Chinese pairs more haha. I shall list out the series that I just cant get over, heh.

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Thanks to love, make us know each other, make us love and take care of each other, make me think of you,  make me walk the whole road, make me understand how precious you are, make me know that although it takes all my efforts; I had to get you. Whatever, what love is it, we believe in it unconditionally. Every shades of love is always beautiful that nothing can compared with. - Bad Romance The Series Last Episode

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If you have survive today, then you have a knack to survive tomorrow even though tomorrow might be not the same as today

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I like to have a name in other language, it's started with my Korean friend asked me if I want to have a korean name. So she gave me the korean name in which I got english name too. Here the names.
English name: Suzy Egerton
Korean name: Jeong Suji 정수지
Chinese name: Zheng Xiuzhi 鄭秀智
Japanese name: Aii Otoha

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Drizzles
Storms
I look out the window
Drip drop
Water falling
The sky is crying
And here I am
Feeling life is untrue
And I'm static in dark

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I kinda hate myself because Im getting lazy I hate it I don't know what's happening but I hope this lazy storm will go away soon.

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Somehow for the long run of my life I didn't let him go for the sake of myself that might like someone who I shouldn't. I make him a shield that I hope a little I could own in future but I know who am I kidding. The sure thing, I tried to cower away from feeling anything.

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"Lagi senang nak hitamkan lelaki putih daripada nak putihkan lelaki hitam" -somene 2k16

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I honestly hate this. But I have to go for it anyway, it's a way to finish your study life. I dunno either I want study life to pass quickly or slowly. But one thing for sure... I should start doing my FYP. Lol

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I sincerely want to bail this test I don't have mood to go on. Shit mood swing or whatever in my head I don't care anymore shit. One thing for sure tomorrow test I shall not ever regret for not doing good. I'm sorry

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"Sometimes I do want to be like others and I envy them but I realize that I don't have the capabilities to do that. Get into and being parts into some circle of friends is the hardest. The moment you don't know, then you become exempt and lonely. Because people always do that." -tikoi

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#세븐틴_너_때문에_붐붐 is coming very soon oh yeah #GOINGSEVENTEEN let's rock the world!

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First, I belong to ELF (Super Junior #슈퍼주니어), Carat(Seventeen #세븐틴), HIgh (Pristin #프리스틴) and Cassiopeia(DB5K #동방신기 5). I stan Beast, VIXX, BTOB, Infinite, SHINee, APink, Lovelyz, Gugudan, GFriend, UKISS, Teen Top, ZE:A, Boyfriend, f(x), 100%, sf9, and JBJ. Also I like X-Nine and R1SE. Silently following Wang Qing(Baba) and re-flamed the old crush for Aaron Yan Yalun (Ahbu) and fallen for Duke Wu Chengjing also novel character An Ziyan. A sucker for Xiao Zhan, Xia Zhiguang, Wang Yibo and Chen Zhuoxuan.

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I no longer comfortable to this word. I dunno why. But then the closed one is still fine

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I'm a weak creature under pressure and feelings
I'm a weak person and I hate it
So don't touch me

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Study lol. Well, crap. I just hate life is the easiest explanation.

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– Keep at it. Even the best authors did not become expert writers overnight.
– Don’t let the statistics or critics bring you down.
– Write for yourself. The readers will follow.

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I sent this for the team that want to make the game for Carat but is pulled off due to some personal problems...
hum somehow I wish I could make something out of this idea...

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So after all... DSP release Kara and Rainbow also disband today. Eum, well DSP is not doing a great job too anyway Rainbow barely breathing and it's not a shocking news but i'm sad for them. :( I like Jaekyung, Seungah thou. Jisook too, just hope everybody in Rainbow will find their path now... You've worked hard Rainbow!

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Will you listen
If I said
I miss us?
Is there a way
For us to go back

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From where we go wrong?
All I remember we're a pair that goes well together
And I'm always putting down my feelings bare
And I'm always keeping inside for you
I follow and I always think we're good
But what are we today?
Awkward moment
Avoiding
Blaming
Hating
I still wish there's a way to go back
But I think it won't be easy
When you take me easy
That you hurt my trust

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Imperfection is all I see
The beyond words I cant say
Beneath my lies, I put down myself
Because for hundred times I lie my feelings over again
Sure I would deny it all
But when the truth lying bare on the surface
From thousand prickles, my heart bleed

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I'm so sad when E MV teaser out today. I know the six members are legit members that wins the MVP unit title but I'm so pissed at CJ thou. I feel unfair to Yeontae. Ugh

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asianfanfics.com/profile/view/89328
wattpad.com/user/suzyrana
Twitter: 95airsatoori131 & 1lovemindsoul
IG: sooji_jeong13 & lin_phaelyn131
soundcloud.com/suzyjung150526
curiouscat.me/AirSatoori95
ask.fm/ranasungmin