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Hi Poo.

Even right now, I don't know the words I'm supposed to say in order to explain the past week and the days before..All i know is, I have come to treasure and love you so much. I won't pretend to say I have been enlightened and i know absolutely what to do; truth is, i feel God has blinded me and all I can hear Him say is, "Trust me, Mikee..Trust me with your life, and with his life." So I am. Secondly, i have never felt more loved and thankful as i do now. I'm in love with Him, it's overwhelmingly good, Poo. God was waiting painfully, for us to come back; and now, we are both waiting (painfully) for what He has in store for you and me. God knows the desires of our heart, so let's truly and wholly Delight ourselves in Him (Psalm 37:4). Give all our desires, give up our lives so He can transform and rewrite the empty words we once had, and fill us with purpose. It is my deepest desire to make you see and feel the infinite and unconditional love of God (1 John 4:8).

I love you, Jayar POO Diaz Silvestre.

Your fellow servant and sister in Christ,

Mikee Poosperanza :)

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I think we could be happy together.

I'm still thinking of it, of you.

Shallowly, I know. I don't know how to BE in love,

a good thing right now. Today's the day where I noticeably feel content to just be your friend.

Lurking behind this happy thought, another thought still.

IT'S SO HARD TO LEAVE YOU ALONE. And likewise, because here you are, all over the screen, smiling, laughing, staring, teasing me.

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I guess things are a bit better,, at least we're talking.

I've been lying awake in bed for the past week. That phlegm in my chest keeps me up.

You're really annoying.

I'm awake again, but just writing away.

Klutz today. Operating at half my usual gusto. Today during AP Lit., could barely talk about Wuthering Heights during the sharing portion.

So humiliating, my peers and my teacher expect better! :(

I guess I'm tired, too. Sleepy and the cold, overcast, rainy weather doesn't make things better.

Honestly, the fool I am, why couldn't i just hit you with my brutal honessty like the others--quick and easy BEFORE things escalated.

And i've been such an empty-headed brick, this sucks. I just want to sleep.

BUUUT I CAN'T. :C

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At last, when I pray, I'll ask God for a name.

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At last, when I pray, I'll ask God for a name.

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So jacob waited 7 years for rachel, but it seemed like a few days because of his love for her

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So jacob waited 7 years for rachel, but it seemed like a few days because of his love for her

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If it felt like I played with your heart.

But maybe, I "played" with your heart because I wanted it.

You know me, everyone knows me. The second a boy who I can actually talk to begins to make an advance,

I immediately shut them out.

.. And that makes me realize how different you are to me now.

If you were just like them, you wouldn't feel like I was "playing" because I would immediately shoot down

any kind of hope or chance..but I couldn't. So I "played". :( I talked to you and we remained friends, a commodity

that was never given to anyone.

It was wrong. I'm sorry.

But I wonder if this has crossed your mind, and if you're hoping that this is true (It is true). I hope that you're hoping, because maybe I'd still have a chance.

but now, I know that of all the dumb boys out there that have faced my brutal honesty, I treated you the worst of all of them.

I guess the people you love are the most capable in hurting the worst.

In that case, I guess you're hurting. And I guess you hurt me badly, too.

This pain in my chest, it can't be just because of my cold/cough and phlegm.

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sorrow, fears, doubts, could we love them all?

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Longing (with Lyrics) - Eels - Hombre Lobo

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Longing (with Lyrics) - Eels - Hombre Lobo This is NOT the original video of the song. More about Eels you can find here http://eelstheband.com/

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"Lockdown Hurricane"

That wind a-blowin'
It's getting strong
The rain a'fallin'
Been falling too long

The pressure in the clouds has changed
Death rattles our window panes
Honey, we're in a lockdown hurricane

They tried to warn us
I didn't care
Said don't be stupid
Get out of there

And now I know it's much too late
Who will discover the remains?
Honey we're in a lockdown hurricane

Don't you see it?
We're goddamn fools
We always had to break the rules

That wind a-blowin'
It's getting strong
The rain a'fallin'
Been falling too long

The pressure in the house has changed
Death rattles our window panes
Honey, we're in a lockdown hurricane

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EELS - The Cautionary Tales of Mark Oliver Everett - 2014

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There are two things I know we're bearing

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There are two things I know we're bearing

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My burden on you, and your burden on me.

I don't know if you know it, but this is hurting me.

Not only because we're really good friends, but because I

just stopped any other further possibility for us.

"I'M GOING TO STOP PRETENDING THAT i DIDN'T BREAK YOU HEART" by The Eels

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EELS// I'm Going to Stop Pretending That I Didn't Break Your Heart

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Uploaded by Vietkarolpillar on 2011-12-14.

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What I've been feeling since 9/12/14 Friday, the day after that Thursday when I had to do what I did

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What I've been feeling since 9/12/14 Friday, the day after that Thursday when I had to do what I did

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NO. I didn't "break up" with him. We weren't dating.

We didn't even acknowledge our feelings.

I knew yours. You still don't know mine.

I told you when you did finally ask, if i felt anything anything.

i said I did..but that they were never alone. It's hard to explain..I couldn't

like you and not feel the slightest bit of anguish. At you, but because of me.

Anguish= severe mental or physical or emotional pain