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today im starting a personal padlet dedicated to my day to day life so i can look back upon it ..yesterday was a tragic day for the whole world but especially for vegas and the victims that suffered terrible losses unimaginable by any other person by the legacy that we leave on for future generations to look upon is not world deadliest mass shooting but that the vegas people helped and that we are courageous people who can unite in the most horrific of times although my faith in humans lowers at times in a horrific time like this that affected my community so closely  who would think that today my faith in humans would rise lets hope that today is the last if its kind signing off for the night of October 2nd

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something i would like to add is that sometimes i get these thoughts or a voice idk it really odd it tells me my thoughts it talks to me and it usually involves intellectual thoughts for example it often narrates my like but not everything im doing move by move but my how a psycho path in a tv show talks is the best way i can put is like "dexter" its kinda interesting tho cause it tells me thoughts that are sometimes very good ideas

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today was interesting day,today i was mostly thinking about the shooting that had happened to quick for us to react to. its still a hard day everyone in my community was effected on way or another some of there lives changed in a second do i think that anything will happen to change these "killing machines" to be harder to get no i don't which is fucked up how many mass shootings have to happen? in the U.S each time beating each other in the most deadly mass shooting the U.S is dying. The country I grew up in and still am, the country I was taught to love, there failing me for them its all about greed and power.  The 527 injured and 59 dead they died in vain i'd hate to say it but 13,286 people at this point change has to be the conversation why are we being killed by our own guns? our own people 13'286 have to die again every year?  I don't even know how to explain my frustration right now. My question is why the basis of this whole country freedom of speech and freedom to create our own law changed by the people is so skewed against us giving people the right to own a fully automatic ak-47 is not giving us a freedom to defend or freedom at all but instead there corralling us in this corner we cant get out of were trapped in this cage of guns

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I didn't write yesterday because i was honestly kind of un motivated to write anything at all

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"some times the best way of expressing yourself is by not saying anything at all let your actions express you" sometimes i feel that music is what keeps us all sane because its expression without mean with opposing views with counter opinion music is without debate it really is sanctifies some things keeps the crazy sane and the well kept and plain people emotion music is the voice of freedom and united people what is a guitar player without a steady heart beat of a drummers beat? what is a singer without the rest of the band

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as i left from there last night i was thinking about her and i wondered if she thought about my connection with her had grew but yet further apart together but apart..ill be better love better for us

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today i was thinking war has no gain, it only steals innocence lives kills generations cause pain suffering destroy homes splits families makes more killers.

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i woke up this morning learning that some evil man had gone to a place a worship a house meant for peace lined children fathers mothers aunt uncles friends lined them up and killed all 25 of them like animals are your fucking serious you took 25 lives and simplified them to a gunshot then a thud how heartless are you? and i dont give a shit on what the president says what congress says about condolences having experienced such heart break that our country is under attack by its own people by its own guns by its own laws

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give everything ask for everything loyalty is the only word in there vocabulary companions friends family silent listeners never judge care about nothing but you your there world your everything to them if you dare take away their innocence, their loyalty you're a different kind of evil a new kind of evil. angels set down to guard to protect to serve nobility is not found in us humans we betray we kill we murder we take but still there are our best friends the reason our ancestors were able to stay alive longer than any other race never

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life, it has a smell to it that perfect weather that perfect day. You feel hopeful that the next day is better then the last, those days become weeks ,months ,years generation after generation where here on this planet and what do we tell our children? to be hopeful I don't know if its better to stay in a powerless state just always being happy while the world crumble before your

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I feel that words have stopped meaning people are just predisposed to lying and hurting you i feel tired, tired of the truth ive just awoken to i feel old havent written a while i will write again

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today i was thinking if i where to die what would i leave behind what kind of impression would i leave on people stud or dud the world is cruel im growing old of it i know im young and naive but im getting tired of dealing with im not planning on doing anything crazy just this world has been bough out by the few lucky enough to steal pieces at its vulnerabilities nothing matters to them there the puppet masters of our world

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life we live on this rock where "apart" from nature why? heres a question think about a time you have physically touch the original dirt of the location your at where here on this planet but yet, were so disconnected from it, feel the wind smell the air. close your eyes take it in. how many times have you done that?

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listening to taro by alt-j window open cloudy day sprinkling looking out the window

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I watched it all happen before me and i didnt feel anything I didnt feel that feeling i get in my stomache like i usually get I dont know if its because im used to being just a friend...