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Well, what a bittersweet ending!

Jane Eyre is definitely not the typical novel that I would pick up and read, but for some reason I thoroughly enjoyed it. Following Jane's journey from a young girl to a grown woman was one that came with unexpected surprises and simultaneous emotional turmoil. Bronte never failed to keep Jane's life interesting for the readers but also made sure that the audience felt for Jane and were on her side through all the obstacles that Jane encountered. In the beginning Jane started out naive yet strong-willed and in the end she gets married to Rochester, and becomes exponentially wealthier and more powerful than the girl she started out as. Perhaps in my eyes, Jane seemed to conform to societal standards as the novel progressed, she seemed to realize the benefits that came with being somewhat compliant to those around her and stifling some of her own inner thoughts, but Bronte does a beautiful job distinguishing Jane from other Victorian women in her era. Whilst, unbeknownst to the surface level reader, I found Jane to still be that same strong-willed, independent, and somewhat stubborn young girl on the inside, who had the tenacity to work past the crappy hand she was dealt in life, while simultaneously striving for upward social mobility, wealth, and power without compromising who she was as a person. Initially I had not even realized that as I read the chapters before these last 4 chapters, but as the novel ended I awakened to the fact that Jane is indeed her own independent person, and that every move she had made in life only worked to her benefit making herself a bigger and more powerful of a presence contrary to other Victorian women who obeyed societal standards and followed rules to seem socially acceptable rather than to further their own position in life. Tracing this back to my initial statement about how this ending is bittersweet, I feel like Jane's story in not yet complete. Its sweet that she rids herself of St. John and decides to choose to be with her true love Rochester, but her character development is far from finished! Whats next for Jane? I have to know! In the meanwhile, I'm beyond happy for Jane and while I wish there was more, Bronte did Jane justice by ending her story on a good note.

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"Meantime, let me ask myself one question—Which is better—To have surrendered to temptation; listened to passion; made no painful effort—no struggle;—but to have shrunk down in the silken snare; fallen asleep on the flowers covering it; wakened in a southern clime, amongst the luxuries of a pleasure villa: to have been now living in France, Mr. Rochester's mistress; delirious with his love half my time—oh yes, he would have loved me well for a while...Whether is it better, I ask, to be a slave in a fool's paradise at Marseilles—fevered with delusive bliss one hour—suffocating with the bitterest tears of remorse and shame the next—or to be village-schoolmistress, free and honest, in a breezy mountain nook."

Jane's entire adult life thus far has been consumed by her relationship and feelings for Rochester, and this quote is a testament to that, pointing the the reality that Jane will probably never escape her love for Rochester. There is no way, no matter how far away she goes or how high up she climbs the social ladder, that she can forget Rochester or the feelings they had. It pains me to watch her living life happily as a village school teacher surrounded by who is essentially her new family, while still constantly feeling somewhat unfulfilled and incomplete because she is not with Rochester and wondering "what if," wondering what her life would look like with Rochester. Reading this line felt like Jane was convincing herself she was happy rather than being truly happy and fulfilled. As much as I feel her relationship with Rochester has held her back, I think being away from Rochester might being doing more damage, though this journey from Thornfield to where she is now has helped her grow tremendously.

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First off, I am so happy that Jane has finally decided to leave Thornfield and Rochester. Reading through my previous blog posts, its quite evident that I have never really been a fan of Rochester; he is constantly holding Jane back from personal growth and has quite frankly created a toxic environment for her (one in which she is enslaved to Rochester's authority and feelings.) It definitely took a lot of strength for Jane to realize exactly what her life would look like if she were to stay with Rochester, and come to the conclusion that her life with Rochester would never truly fulfill her, she'd constantly feel 2nd best knowing Rochester was legally married to another woman and there is not way that they could ever fully trust one another. Ok, enough analyzing Jane's decision to leave Rochester now, because her life has taken a pretty dramatic turn after she left Thornfield. After leaving Thornfield, I felt for Jane because for the first time in her life she actually had nothing. She had always had at least the bare minimum of shelter, clothing and food despite all the trauma she was put through, but now she was homeless and begging for food, living in a state of poverty. Luckily though, Jane ends up getting taken in by St. John and the Rivers and she seems to have moved on from her past life, until she keeps thinking and dreaming about Rochester! I just hope the soon she can escape from all of that and focus on growing in her new life.

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"It simply consists in the existence of a previous marriage; Mr. Rochester has a wife now living.” My nerves vibrated to these low-spoken words as they had never vibrated to thunder—my blood felt their subtle violence as it had never felt frost or fire."

When it was revealed that Rochester had been previously married, my only reaction was one of complete disappointment. It was disappointing to see that all the character development that Rochester had gone through from his relationship with Jane had gotten reversed in a second. While it was completely atrocious that Rochester had held his wife prisoner for 15 years, even more disappointing was the fact that he declared his love to Jane, intended to marry her, despite the fact that all of this was going on behind the scenes; the fact that he had lied as utterly disappointing. I could not help but feel sympathetic towards Jane because the pain she must have suffered is unimaginable. Not only has she experienced unbearable trauma for the majority of her life, but now she has to deal with the trauma of emotional distress from the person she thought she would be spending the rest of her life with. I think the imagery especially in this line highlights perfectly how Jane felt, and really hit me deep as I felt like I was almost going through the pain that Jane was going through in that moment.

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What a turn of events! These 6 chapters were so incredibly dense that I felt both exhausted by the dramatic occurrences and fascinated by the intense development of the various stories existing within this novel. First, we saw Jane do the unexpected; she decided to go back to Thornfield Hall to visit Ms. Reed on her deathbed. While, I expected the family to end up in some form of turmoil and tragedy based upon their atrocious personalities and character, Bronte still continued to surprise me with the actions of both Ms. Reed and her children. Starting off, Jane ends up going back to Thornfield, and not only does she grant to Ms. Reed forgiveness out of pity for her, but ends up apologizing to her as well. I was also taken aback by how the children ended up turning on each other; it seems as if after Jane left they needed to pick on each other because they had no-one else to bully and abuse. Yet while I seemed too be stunned with this event, Bronte continues to surprise me as we learn that Rochester is no longer going to marry Blanche but has also proposed to Jane. I have to admit that I had mixed feelings about that because on one hand, I was happy that Jane and Rochester who were clearly in love were going to finally be together, yet I was skeptical of whether or not getting married to Rochester would be the best for Jane. Jane had worked so hard to become an independent person, and marrying Rochester would almost strip all of her independence and freedom away. I ended up being rightfully skeptical as we learn that Rochester is actually married and has been hiding his crazy wife in a hidden room under the care of Grace Poole. I must say not only was that incredibly abhorrent but creepy as well. The fact that he was able to to hide a live human being and keep her locked up speaks volume to Rochester's character. I look forward to seeing what happens in the next few chapters, hopefully Jane washes her hands completely of Rochester and beings a new life completey fresh.

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"No: Adele is not answerable for either her mother's faults of yours: I have a regard for her; and now that I know she is, in a sense, parentless—forsaken by her mother and disowned by you, sir—I shall cling closer to her than before. How could I possibly prefer the spoilt pet  of a wealthy family, who would hate her governess as a nuisance, to a lonely little orphan, who leans towards her as a friend?"

Upon reading these few lines, I was reminded again of the influence that Jane's childhood has had on her. It is quite evident that Jane has suffered abuse and maltreatment that will affect her for the rest of her life, but this quote let me see a side of Jane that was compassionate and empathetic towards others. After hearing the backstory of Adele, Jane immediately fell more in love with Adele developing a special bond with her because of their mutual trauma. While others during the Victorian Era may have shown disgust that Adele was not born into a traditional household, Jane automatically developed stronger affection for Adele as a result. This also showed me that Jane is someone who clearly has such a different outlook on life and is unafraid to break societal norms and standards.

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Reading through these few chapters, I honestly felt a sense of disappointment dawn over me. At heart, I know that Jane is an incredibly strong and independent person, incredibly capable of being on her own, Heck, She stood up against an entire family that constantly abused her and continued to question the Evangelicalism that was weaponized by people like Mrs. Reed and Brocklehurst to condone abuse. Yet for some reason her move to Thornfield made her become timid and less outspoken. She let herself become blinded by Mr. Rochester's power, taking his rude commentary because she had developed feelings for him. The younger Jane not only would not have stood for any maltreatment or disrespect from anyone but most certainly would not be fawning over a man who prioritized social status! Yet I think through these chapters, it becomes more evident that both Rochester and his love interest Ingram are people who prioritize social status, wealth, and power over so many other more important aspects of life, proving themselves as rather shallow and selfish individuals. Although I saw a change in Jane's character throughout these chapters, I do believe that she will become that powerful and independent woman that she started out as! Bronte must do Jane justice!

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As I read through these 10 chapters, I continued to feel empathy for the main character Jane Eyre. She strikes me as a passive girl, who is constantly dealt a bad hand when it comes to life, and as a result loses her self-confidence. I think partially, it has to too with the societal expectations that surround her but also I cannot help but get angered by the mean spirit of some of the other characters! Especially when the second I open the novel, Jane is told to "Be seated somewhere; and until you can speak pleasantly remain silent." Not only did this make me feel like she was being disciplined by a mean grandmother, but also hit made me feel bad for Jane because this kind of rude behavior from adults destroys the self-esteem of young people. I think a breaking point for me had to have been finding out that Jane ends up getting taken to a school for orphans. This just reminded me of the movie Annie and Heidi, where it seemed as if life would not get any better. Yet, despite that, I think that through this orphanage, Jane will become a stronger and better person and I can't wait to continue following her story.

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"How much I wished to reply fully to this question! How difficult hit was to frame any answer! Children can feel, but they cannot analyse their feelings; and if the analysis its partially effected in thought, they know not how to express the result of the process in words. Fearful, however, of losing this first and only opportunity of relieving my grief by imparting it, I after a disturbed pause, contrived to frame a meagre, though, as far as it went, true response. (Chapter 3)

As I read this passage, I instantly felt a connection to Jane. Here, Jane has so many thoughts and feelings that she wishes to express but has a hard time putting those thoughts into words. She feels misunderstood and not taken seriously enough, and all she can do is blame it on herself. She blames herself of feeling less than, of not feeling good enough. I think I relate to this the most, because its hard to standup for yourself against adults, and its hard too express yourself fully to other adults. Here Jane knows exactly what she wants to say but can't articulate it properly and that leads her to feel guilty because she ends up coming across as less than who she actually is. This passage also made me think of the pressure our society puts onto young people. They are expected to be respectful to adults, expected to have a certain amount of intelligence, and expected to live up to high expectations and standards. Yet the reality is these expectations only do more harm than good, they hurt the self esteem of young girls like Jane because when they don't live up to those expectations they instantly feel less than and feel a sense of guilt hanging over them. Summing this up, I felt a sense of sadness reading through this passage.