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To be able to care for the people you love, you must first take care of yourself. Learn how it helps you support the people you love.

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Online screening is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition.
Mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety, are real, common and treatable. And recovery is possible.

How does it work?

After your mental health test, you will see information, resources, and tools to help you understand and improve your mental health.
How can online mental health testing help me? What do my mental health test results mean?
Please note: Online screening tools are meant to be a quick snapshot of your mental health. If your results indicate you may be experiencing symptoms of a mental illness, consider sharing your results with someone. A mental health provider (such as a doctor or a therapist) can give you a full assessment and talk to you about options for how to feel better.

This website is an informational resource. We are not a crisis support line. If you need immediate help, you can reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or using the chat box at 988lifeline.org/chat. You can also text "MHA" to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. Warmlines are an excellent place for non-crisis support.

For all other screening-related questions and non-emergency support, please use MHA's Contact Us form.

Mental Health America Inc., sponsors, partners, and advertisers disclaim any liability, loss, or risk incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of these screens.

MHA Screening is made possible through the generous contributions of individuals and organizations that share our vision of mental health for all. This program is supported, in part, through philanthropic contributions from Abbvie, Alkermes, The Anthem Foundation, Janssen, Neurocrine Biosciences, The NFL Foundation, Sage Therapeutics, Takeda Lundbeck Alliance, and Teva.

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Skip to content Online screening is one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition. Mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety, are real, common and treatable. And recovery is possible.

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10 Minute Mindfulness Drawing Meditation: Easy Art Tutorial for Relaxation and Self Care

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As a parent or caregiver, you have the primary role in protecting and caring for your children. Supportive caregiving is one of the biggest predictors of resilience among children who have experienced trauma.

No one sign or symptom is the deciding factor in whether or not a child has been abused. Often, the first indicator is when a child discloses abuse. However, some children who are abused may have changes in their behaviors and/or emotions. For example, a normally talkative child may become withdrawn or a typically reserved child who has new fears that emerge. If you notice changes in your child, ask them how they are doing-and listen. Let them know they can always come to you, and if you need advice on how to handle these sensitive conversations, we are here to help.

Studies show that children who have been abused are at higher risk for emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, and suicide attempts as well as health problems including high blood pressure, asthma, and obesity. Addressing trauma symptoms related to the abuse during childhood can make the difference in putting the abuse behind them.

Preventing Abuse

Prevention efforts do keep abuse from happening to many children, and you'll need the right tools to keep children safe.

What Happens when you come to Dee Norton?

At the first moment of concern, you have a safe, child-friendly place to turn to for help. You can receive information and advice by calling us at (843) 723-3600.

After talking to one of our intake coordinators, an appointment will be scheduled where appropriate.

To establish a clear record of the concern, a forensic interview may take place with your child by one of our specially-trained professionals.

A caregiver and family assessment may be offered to give you a safe space to share your experience and to provide support to help you understand and learn how to respond to your child's reactions.

Your child may receive a medical examination at the Center by a pediatric specialist from MUSC that helps assure your child-and you-that their body is okay.

If further assessment is recommended, you and your child will meet with a therapist at the Center to see what treatment, if any, is needed.

If therapy is needed, children and parents will meet with therapists one-on-one to discuss a treatment plan.

Tailored treatments have been proven to reduce a child's symptoms and typically are carried out in 10 to 25 sessions.

Case coordination is provided through the multidisciplinary team (MDT), which meets weekly to review cases and make recommendations. The MDT's goal is to work together in the best interest of the child and the family.

Sexual Abuse

Child sexual abuse is any interaction between a child and an adult (or older child) where the child is used for the sexual gratification of the perpetrator or an observer. Sexual abuse can include both touching and non-touching behaviors. Non-touching behaviors can include voyeurism (trying to look at a child's naked body), exhibitionism, or exposing the child to pornography. Children of all ages, races, ethnicities, genders, and economic backgrounds may experience sexual abuse.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is one of the most common forms of child maltreatment. While legal definitions vary, physical abuse, broadly, occurs when a parent or caregiver commits an act that results in physical injury to a child or teen. Sometimes it happens even when parents did not intend to cause an injury. Physical abuse may include hitting, punching, shaking, kicking, beating, burning, or otherwise harming a child.

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse includes acts or the failures to act by parents or caretakers that cause, or could cause, serious behavioral, intellectual, or, emotional disorders.

Domestic Violence

Exposure to interpersonal violence between adults can be harmful to children. It can include witnessing or simply being aware of violence between adults. While domestic violence often occurs as a pattern of controlling and coercive behavior, an initial incident may also be cause for concern. Tactics used in domestic violence can be physical, sexual, financial, verbal, or emotional against the partner. Exposure to substance abuse by parents and other caregivers can also have negative effects on the health, safety, and well-being of children.

Neglect

Although not discussed as often as other forms, neglect is the most common form of child abuse. Whereas other forms of abuse occur when something negative happens to a child, neglect is when a child's basic needs for food, housing, health care, and warm clothing are not met.

Bullying

Bullying is a form of peer victimization when one person deliberately and repeatedly intimidates or harms another. Bullying can severely affect a child's or teen's self-image, social interactions, and school performance, and can lead to mental health problems.

If you live in South Carolina and suspect abuse by a family member who has responsibility for taking care of the child, contact the South Carolina Child Abuse Hotline at (888) CARE4US® / (888) 227-3487.

If you live in the Lowcountry area and need assistance with this process, call us at (843) 723-3600.

If you live outside of South Carolina and need help, call National Child Abuse Hotline at (800) 4ACHILD® / (800) 422-4453.
If you suspect abuse by someone who does not have caregiver responsible for the child, contact your local law enforcement jurisdiction:

Explore Our Services

Child abuse does not have to define who a child will become. At the Dee Norton Child Advocacy Center, children and families have a safe, child-friendly place they can come to where there is concern about abuse.

Frequently Asked Questions

Understanding child abuse helps you be in a better position to both prevent abuse and know how to respond if abuse occurs. Here are answers to frequently asked questions about abuse.

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Information for Parents & Caregivers - Dee Norton Child Advocacy Center

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Parents & caregivers learn what to look for, tips to prevent abuse, how to report child abuse, and how DNCAC can help. MORE INFO ON CHILD ABUSE.

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Dr. Russ Harris - Acceptance Commitment Therapy

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Wired for Danger: The Effects of Childhood Trauma on the Brain

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Dr. Dan Siegel's Hand Model of the Brain

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Adolescent behavioral changes have long been thought to result from the hormones that develop during puberty. Those hormones, which enable adolescents to reproduce, create dramatic physical changes in teens and have given rise to the refrain of exasperated parents, "It's hormones."

But new research indicates adolescent behavior may not be driven exclusively by hormones and environmental and social factors such as stress and isolation play an important role in shaping behavior. The findings have important implications for understanding adolescent emotional development and the emergence of mental health disorders.

"People are starting to understand that adolescence is another sensitive time. Things like stress, social isolation and drug use can have big, long-lasting effects," says Matthew Paul, a psychology professor at the University of Buffalo.

Puberty and adolescence are simultaneous events that correspond with major behavioral and hormonal changes. Adolescents develop complex thinking, become notorious risk-takers -- sometimes experimenting with drugs - and they shift the focus of their social relationships from family to peers.

Paul conducted an experiment with Siberian hamsters to try to disentangle adolescent behavioral changes triggered by puberty from those unrelated to puberty and its surge of hormones. He used Siberian hamsters because they experience puberty differently depending on when they are born. Siberian hamsters born at the start of a breeding season - when daylight is extensive - reach puberty at an early age so they can breed that year. Those born late in a breeding season - when there is much less daylight - experience a delay in puberty so they don't breed in the winter.

"...we tend to think that pubertal hormones are responsible for the changes we see during adolescence. But our research suggests otherwise."

Paul observed the hamsters to see when they underwent behavioral changes - specifically, when they made a transition from play to aggression. If puberty controlled behavioral changes, the two groups of hamsters would change their behavior at different ages; the precocious hamsters would become aggressive at a much younger age than their late-blooming counterparts.

But Paul found no such correlation. The two groups of hamsters shifted from play-fighting to exhibiting dominance at the same ages. The late-blooming hamsters became aggressive before they had reached puberty.

"This is a surprising finding, because we tend to think that pubertal hormones are responsible for the changes we see during adolescence. But our research suggests otherwise," Paul told a writer for the University of Buffalo.

Because play is an important factor in social communication, Paul will investigate if chemicals in the brain cause the change in the hamsters' behavior.

Deena Walker, a postdoctoral fellow at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City, studied the increased risk-taking among adolescents to determine if the behavior was driven by the brain's " reward circuitry." The circuitry becomes volatile during adolescence and makes teenagers crave rewards while their inhibitions are underdeveloped. Increased risk-taking is important in adolescents' development because it propels them to exploration and independence. Unfortunately, it also can lead to drug use and abuse.

In a literature review published in the Journal of Neuroscience, Walker noted sex differences in reward circuitry. Female adolescents are less extreme in "sensation seeking" than males and gain impulse control at an earlier age than males, who remain more impulsive through their mid-20s.This phenomenon has been observed in people and in lab animals during experiments with food intake.

Walker writes, adolescent reward circuitry is reorganized due to the influence of both pubertal hormones and social interactions. In an experiment in rats, adolescent animals placed greater value than adults on peer-directed activities and preferred social stimuli. The research suggests adolescent rodent brains are highly sensitive to social reward. Adolescent social experiences can be so powerful that they create permanent neural and hormonal changes. Adversity during adolescence increases the risk for adult psychiatric disorders including depression, anxiety, substance abuse and schizophrenia.
Written by Judy Gelman Myers and Thomas Frank

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It's not just hormones that explain teen behavior. Environment and social interaction play a role, too.

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About

Child abuse and violence affect millions of children each year. Child abuse includes physical, sexual, emotional abuse and neglect. Interpersonal violence is violence between people and includes community violence, partner violence (also called "domestic violence"), and bullying. After abuse or violence many children develop mental health problems including depression and posttraumatic stress disorder. These children may also have serious medical problems, learning problems, and problems getting along with friends and family members.

After abuse or violence children need support from their parents and other family members. Sometimes parents are not able to be supportive because they have their own mental health problems; or they may also have been the victims of the abuse or violence. Other parents may have caused the abuse or violence. Children who do not have supportive families or who blame themselves for the abuse or violence are more likely to have serious mental health problems.

However, many children have inner strength and are able to cope well even after abuse or violence.
Choose a topic:
Frequently Asked Questions

1. What is child trauma and child abuse?

2. What are signs that a child may need help after experiencing abuse or interpersonal violence?

3. What can a parent do if they suspect that their child is being abused?

4. How can I help my children after they have been experienced abuse or interpersonal violence?

5. What is toxic stress?

Facts for Families

AACAP's Facts for Families provide concise up-to-date information about a variety of issues that affect children, adolescents and families. The following Facts for Families contain information that is especially pertinent to families of children who have experienced abuse or interpersonal violence:

Bullying
Child Abuse: The Hidden Bruises Sexual Abuse Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Foster Care Domestic Violence and Children Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Responding to Child Sexual Abuse Anxiety and Children Depression in Children and Teens When To Seek Help for Your Child Where to Find Help for Your Child
Video Clips

Clinical Resources

Information about Treatment Choices
Children who have experienced violence or abuse can be successfully treated with psychotherapy (talk therapy). Though there are no medications to specifically treat abuse, victims often experience anxiety, depression and other disorders that can be successfully treated with medications by a psychiatrist. To learn more about effective psychotherapies for youngsters affected by abuse or violence, please click here.

PTSD Rating Scales

Two rating scales can be used by clinicians to help identify children's or adolescents' exposure to child abuse, interpersonal violence and other traumatic events, to identify PTSD symptoms, and to monitor symptoms. These are the UCLA PTSD Reaction Index (RI) and the Child PTSD Symptom Scale (CPSS). The RI is rated separately by the child or adolescent and a parent; the CPSS is rated only by the child or adolescent.
The Child PTSD Symptom Scale
Additional Clinical Resources
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network developed a resource kit for parents whose children have experienced sexual abuse. Caring for Kids: What Parents Need to Know about Sexual Abuse. Working with children who have experienced sexual abuse can lead to vicarious trauma or "secondary traumatic stress".

Research and Training
Scientific Articles and Information
Community Treatment of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder for Children Exposed to Intimate Partner Violence
Archive of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine
January 2011 - Volume 165 - Issue 1 - pp 16-21

Free training in the TF-CBT treatment model is available to mental health professionals from the TF-CBTWeb training course, available at www.musc.edu/tfcbt.

Child abuse and neglect and intimate partner violence victimization and perpetration: A prospective investigation
Child Abuse & Neglect, 2013

Longitudinal Study on the Effects of Child Abuse and Children's Exposure to Domestic Violence, Parent-Child Attachments, and Antisocial Behavior in Adolescence
Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 2011

Separating Children From Their Families: Toxic Stress and Adverse Childhood Experiences
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

Spontaneous Thoughts and Brain Connectivity: Possible Links Between Early Maltreatment and Later Depression
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Volume 57, Issue 9, Pages 634-36
Published online: September 2018

Child Abuse and Neglect
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Volume 57, Issue 9, Pages 637-644
Published online: September 2018

Evidence for Depressogenic Spontaneous Thoughts and Altered Resting-State Connectivity in Adolescents With a Maltreatment History
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Volume 57, Issue 9, Pages 687-695
Published online: September 2018

Early Childhood Adverse Experiences, Inferior Frontal Gyrus Connectivity, and the Trajectory of Externalizing Psychopathology
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Volume 57, Issue 3, Pages 183-190
Published online: March 2018

The Dissociative Subtype of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Among Adolescents: Co-Occurring PTSD, Depersonalization/Derealization, and Other Dissociation Symptoms
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Volume 56, Issue 12, Pages 1062-1072
Published online: December 2017

Traumatic Stress Interacts With Bipolar Disorder Genetic Risk to Increase Risk for Suicide Attempts
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, Volume 56, Issue 12, Pages 1073-1080
Published online: December 2017

Books

A Place for Starr: A Story of Hope for Children Experiencing Family Violence
Howard Schor

Please Tell! A Child's Story About Sexual Abuse
Jessie

Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care
Wilgocki, J& Wright, MK. (2002)

Posttraumatic Play in Children: What Clinicians Need to Know
Michael Scheeringa

For more bibliotherapy resources, visit Living with Mental Illness: Books, Stories and Memoirs.

Getting Help

Getting help is one of the most important things a parent can do for a child with a mental health concern. This is especially important after exposure to a trauma such as child abuse or interpersonal violence, but often in these situations seeking professional help is the last thing on parents' minds because so many other things are going on in the family.

A child and adolescent psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of mental health disorders that affect children and adolescents. Child and adolescent psychiatrists have completed four years of medical school, and at least three years of residency training in medicine, neurology, or general psychiatry with adults, and two years of additional training in psychiatric work with children and adolescents.

Click here to find a child and adolescent psychiatrist in your area.

Oftentimes, parents are unsure when to seek a referral to a child and adolescent psychiatrist. For more information on when to seek a referral, please click here.

To learn more about understanding mental health insurance, please click here.
Services In School For Children With Special Needs: What Parents Need To Know
Resources for Parents and Foster Parents
If your child has experienced child abuse, the following resources may be helpful:

Caring for Kids: What Parents Need to Know about Sexual Abuse
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network Sexual Abuse Committee developed a series of fact sheets providing information about different aspects of child sexual abuse.

For Foster Parents:
In addition to child abuse and violence exposure, many children in foster care struggle with the uncertainty about their future related to placement issues. This book helps children in foster care and their foster parents to address this issue more openly:

Wilgocki, J& Wright, MK. (2002) Maybe Days: A Book for Children in Foster Care. Washington, D.C: American Psychological Association. Available at www.amazon.com.

Related Websites

COVID-19 Resources

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Child abuse and violence affect millions of children each year. Child abuse includes physical, sexual, emotional abuse and neglect.

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Center for Child Trauma Assessment and Service Planning

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The video below contains content related to child trauma experiences, including abuse and neglect that may not be suitable for all audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.

ReMoved is a short film following the emotional journey of a nine-year old girl who is taken from her abusive birth home and placed in the tumultuous foster care system.

Children may pick up on your own emotional reaction to the situation. It is important to remain calm when having conversations about trauma. While it is okay to show emotion (e.g. crying), it can be traumatic for a child to see a parent or adult display extreme emotions like sadness, screaming, throwing things, etc. in response to something your child shared with you. A child may feel guilty if he/she believes that they caused you pain. If you do not feel that you are in an emotionally stable place to have a conversation with your child about their trauma, or if your own possible trauma history may influence how you react, you may also want to consider seeking support for yourself.

Remember that children are not always able to process or understand information in the same way as adults. Some children may be able to talk more openly about their experience than others. You may ask your child questions, but try to respect his/her limits and allow your child take the lead during the conversation. Some children may speak about it and recover quickly while others will recover more slowly. Try not to push your child to "just get over it" or "tell every detail." Understand that while you as an adult may have the tools, skills, and knowledge to overcome trauma or traumatic events, children may not have these same skills. Remember, an event that may seem insignificant or easy to overcome to you could be much more traumatic for your child.

Alternatively, you may be struggling to cope with the traumatic event that happened to your child. If your child is seeing that you have strong reactions, he/she may become fearful or anxious around wanting to talk about it with you. If this is the case, it might be an opportunity for you to considering seeking out therapy.

Your child may blame him/herself for the traumatic experience. This is especially common in traumatic events including, but not limited to physical/sexual abuse or parental divorce. This may be more common with younger children because they have difficulty understanding other people's perspectives and understanding who takes responsibility for certain actions. Your child may have also been directly blamed by the person that harmed him/her. As the caregiver, you can assure your child that it is not his/her fault and you can work to diminish his/her sense of guilt and restore a positive sense of self.

Every child will react to a traumatic event differently because every experience is unique and every child is unique. This is okay. For this reason, it may be difficult for you to gauge or predict what event your child will experience as traumatic, when he or she experiences traumatic stress symptoms, or how he or she may be triggered. When talking to your child about their traumatic experience, assure them that their response is normal and accepted.

Allow your child to be the leader of the conversation about his/her trauma experience. Even though your child knows his/her experience better than you, it is common and appropriate for your child to ask questions about trauma, including how or why a traumatic event happens. Being open and honest with your child is important. Also remember, you don't have to be an expert in child trauma. If you can't answer a question or are uncertain about how to talk to your child on certain subjects, talk to your child's trauma- focused therapist or another professional.

As they say on airplanes, you must first secure your own oxygen mask before helping your child put on theirs. The same goes for coping with a traumatic event: before you can be there for your child, you must be there for yourself. Not only will this help you to remain calm and stable while helping your child cope and work to understand the traumatic event, it will also help you become a model of self-care for your child.

This is important to remember because although the traumatic event may have happened to your child, you have been impacted as well. Additionally, if you, as a caregiver, have had traumatic or difficult experiences in your past, your child's experience may trigger your own reactions. It is important to be aware of your own reactions, how they impact your child, and when it is time to seek help from a professional.
Finding Help
To find a therapist or other resources for child trauma in your area, check out the NCTSN's Get Help Now webpage. To learn more about how trauma may impact you as a caregiver and how you can respond to and manage your own experience, check out the links in the Additional Resources drop down menu.

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The video below contains content related to child trauma experiences, including abuse and neglect that may not be suitable for all audiences. Viewer discretion is advised. ReMoved is a short film following the emotional journey of a nine-year old girl who is taken from her abusive birth home and placed in the tumultuous foster care system.

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Breaking the Cycle of  Generational Trauma | Candice Jones | TEDxLSSC

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Through Our Eyes: Children, Violence, and Trauma—Introduction

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The North American Council on Adoptable Children

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Every child in foster care and adoption has experienced trauma-often abuse and neglect, but at a minimum, separation from their birth family. In recent years, we've learned that the trauma children experience can have serious, even lifelong, effects.

Ongoing trauma can affect children's ability to concentrate, control their emotions, respond to conflict, develop healthy relationships, and interpret social cues. Children who have experienced serious trauma can be extra vigilant and physically reactive, both of which take a physical and emotional toll.

Many children develop behaviors as a result of their trauma exposure that can make life more challenging for them and for their families. The good news is that there is hope. Informed parents who used trauma-informed parenting techniques can help their children heal and reduce the effects of trauma.

Read NACAC Articles About Childhood Trauma:

View NACAC Webinars About Trauma:

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Childhood Trauma - The North American Council on Adoptable Children

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Every child in foster care and adoption has experienced trauma-often abuse and neglect, but at a minimum, separation from their birth family. In recent years, we've learned that the trauma children experience can have serious, even lifelong, effects. Ongoing trauma can affect children's ability to concentrate, control their emotions, respond to conflict, develop healthy relationships, [...]

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Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event

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Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event

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Helping Children Cope After a Traumatic Event

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Your comfort and support can help children cope with trauma. Advice from the Child Mind Institute on how to what to do and what to look out for.

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Parenting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma

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Parenting a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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Reducing the effects of significant adversity on young children's healthy development is critical to the progress and prosperity of any society. Yet not all children experience lasting harm as a result of adverse early experiences. Some may demonstrate " resilience," or an adaptive response to serious hardship. A better understanding of why some children do well despite early adversity is important because it can help us design policies and programs that help more children reach their full potential. These three videos provide an overview of why resilience matters, how it develops, and how to strengthen it in children.

1. InBrief: What is Resilience?

The science of resilience can help us understand why some children do well despite serious adversity. Resilience is a combination of protective factors that enable people to adapt in the face of serious hardship, and is essential to ensuring that children who experience adversity can still become healthy, productive citizens. Watch this video to learn about the fundamentals of resilience, which is built through interactions between children and their environments.

2. InBrief: The Science of Resilience

One way to understand the development of resilience is to picture a balance scale or seesaw. Protective experiences and adaptive skills on one side counterbalance significant adversity on the other. Watch this video to visualize the science of resilience, and see how genes and experience interact to produce positive outcomes for children.

3. InBrief: How Resilience Is Built

Children are not born with resilience, which is produced through the interaction of biological systems and protective factors in the social environment. The active ingredients in building resilience are supportive relationships with parents, coaches, teachers, caregivers, and other adults in the community. Watch this video to learn how responsive exchanges with adults help children build the skills they need to manage stress and cope with adversity.

Subscribe to our newletter

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InBrief: Resilience Series - Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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These three videos provide an overview of why resilience to serious hardship matters, how it develops, and how to strengthen it in children.

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National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)

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Helping Children and Adolescents Cope With Traumatic Events

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This fact sheet presents information on how children and adolescents respond to traumatic events, and what family, friends, and trusted adults can do to help.

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Resilience Guide for Parents and Teachers

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Resilience Guide for Parents and Teachers

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Children's problems include adapting to a new classroom, bullying by classmates, or abuse at home, but resilience is the ability to thrive despite these challenges.

Cite this

American Psychological Association. (2012, January 24). Resilience guide for parents and teachers. https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers

We tend to idealize childhood as a carefree time, but youth alone offers no shield against the emotional hurts, challenges, and traumas many children face. Children can be asked to deal with problems ranging from adapting to a new classroom or online schooling to bullying by peers or even struggles at home. Add to that the uncertainties that are part of growing up in a complex world, and childhood can be anything but carefree. The ability to thrive despite these challenges arises from the skills of resilience.
The good news is that resilience skills can be learned.
Building resilience-the ability to adapt well to adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress-can help our children manage stress and feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. However, being resilient does not mean that children won't experience difficulty or distress. Emotional pain, sadness, and anxiety are common when we have suffered major trauma or personal loss, or even when we hear of someone else's loss or trauma.

10 tips for building resilience in children and teens

1. Make connections
Teach your child the importance of engaging and connecting with their peers, including the skill of empathy and listening to others. Find ways to help children foster connectivity by suggesting they connect to peers in-person or through phone, video chats, and texts. It's also important to build a strong family network. Connecting with others provides social support and strengthens resilience.

2. Help your child by having them help others
Children who may feel helpless can feel empowered by helping others. Engage your child in age-appropriate volunteer work or ask for assistance yourself with tasks that they can master. At school, brainstorm with children about ways they can help others in their class or in grades below.

3. Maintain a daily routine
Sticking to a routine can be comforting to children, especially younger children who crave structure in their lives. Work with your child to develop a routine, and highlight times that are for school work and play. Particularly during times of distress or transition, you might need to be flexible with some routines. At the same time, schedules and consistency are important to maintain.

4. Take a break
While some anxiety can motivate us to take positive action, we also need to validate all feelings. Teach your child how to focus on something that they can control or can act on. Help by challenging unrealistic thinking by asking them to examine the chances of the worst case scenario and what they might tell a friend who has those worries. Be aware of what your child is exposed to that can be troubling, whether it's through the news, online, or overheard conversations. Although schools are being held accountable for performance or required to provide certain instruction, build in unstructured time during the school day to allow children to be creative.

5. Teach your child self-care
Teach your child the importance of basic self-care. This may be making more time to eat properly, exercise, and get sufficient sleep. Make sure your child has time to have fun, and participate in activities they enjoy. Caring for oneself and even having fun will help children stay balanced and better deal with stressful times.

6. Move toward your goals
Teach your child to set reasonable goals and help them to move toward them one step at a time. Establishing goals will help children focus on a specific task and can help build the resilience to move forward in the face of challenges. At school, break down large assignments into small, achievable goals for younger children, and for older children, acknowledge accomplishments on the way to larger goals.

7. Nurture a positive self-view
Help your child remember ways they have successfully handled hardships in the past and help them understand that these past challenges help build the strength to handle future challenges. Help your child learn to trust themselves to solve problems and make appropriate decisions. At school, help children see how their individual accomplishments contribute to the wellbeing of the class as a whole.

8. Keep things in perspective and maintain a hopeful outlook
Even when your child is facing very painful events, help them look at the situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Although your child may be too young to consider a long-term look on their own, help them see that there is a future beyond the current situation and that the future can be good. An optimistic and positive outlook can enable children to see the good things in life and keep going even in the hardest times. In school, use history to show that life moves forward after bad events, and the worst things are specific and temporary.

9. Look for opportunities for self-discovery
Tough times are often when children learn the most about themselves. Help your child take a look at how whatever they're facing can teach them "what am I made of." At school, consider leading discussions of what each student has learned after facing a tough situation.

10. Accept change
Change often can be scary for children and teens. Help your child see that change is part of life and new goals can replace goals that have become unattainable. It is important to examine what is going well, and to have a plan of action for what is not going well. In school, point out how students have changed as they moved up in grade levels and discuss how that change has had an impact on the students.

Resilience and preschool children

Very young children will only recently have mastered the skills of walking and talking, and they may not be able to express their anxieties and fears. Although you may think they are too young to understand what is happening, even very young children can absorb frightening events from the news or from conversations they overhear.

Watch your children for signs of fear and sadness they may not be able to put into words. Have your children become extra clingy or needing more hugs than usual? Have your children started old habits after you thought they had outgrown the behavior? Are they suddenly more irritable? They may be feeling the pressure of what is going on in the world around them. Use play to help your children express their fears and encourage them to use art or pretend games to express what they may not be able to put into words.

Use family time like a security blanket for your children: wrap them up in family closeness and make sure your children have lots of family time. During times of stress and change, spend more time with your children playing games, reading to them, or just holding them close.

Resilience and elementary school children

Elementary school children may be starting to form new friend groups and participate in new activities as they come into their own. As they start to study subjects about the world outside of their homes, they look to teachers as well as to parents to make them feel safe and to help sort it all out.

Make sure your child has a place where they can feel safe, whether that is home or school (ideally, both would feel safe).

Talk to your children. When they have questions, answer them honestly and with reassurance that includes simple statements that let them know you are taking actions to keep them safe and are there to take care of them. Listen to their concerns and fears when they address them with you and let them know you are there for them.

When there is a situation outside of the home that is frightening, limit the amount of news your children watch or listen to. There is always the possibility that they misinterpret what they see or hear on the news. You don't need to hide what's happening in the world from your children, but neither do they have to be exposed to constant stories that fuel their fears. Check in on their understanding of what they have been exposed to.

Realize that extra stressors may heighten normal daily stresses. Your children might normally be able to handle a failed test or teasing, but be understanding that they may respond with anger or bad behavior to stress that normally wouldn't rattle them. Reassure them that you just want what is best for them and that you are there for them.

Resilience and middle school children

Even without larger traumas, middle school can be an especially difficult time for many children as they struggle to meet extra academic demands and avoid new social pitfalls. They look to teachers and friends as well as to parents to make them feel safe.

Reinforce empathy and help your child keep perspective. If your child falls into the shifting of social groups that form in middle school, help them understand that other children may be feeling just as lonely and confused, and help them to see beyond the current situation.

Talk with your child about your own feelings during times of extraordinary stress. Your children may be old enough to appreciate hearing about your own thoughts and feelings, but also the ways in which you cope. Share how the ways you cope are helpful to you, but also find techniques that may benefit your child.

Resilience and high schoolers

Although your teens may tower over you, they still are young and can keenly feel the fear and uncertainty of both the normal stresses of being a teen, as well as events in the world around them. Emotions may be volatile and close to the surface during teen years, and finding the best way to connect to your teen can be difficult.

Talk with them whenever you can, even if it seems they don't want to talk. Sometimes the best time to talk may be when you are in the car together; sometimes it may be when you are doing chores together, allowing your teen to focus on something else while they talk. When they have questions, answer them honestly but with reassurance. Ask them their opinion about what is happening and listen to their answers.

Find a place that your teen can create as their safe place, whether it's their bedroom or somewhere they find comfort. In high school, emotions can intensify, and rejection, taunting, or bullying can also be present. A space of their own can serve as a constant and a place for them to have as their own. Your children may prefer to be with their friends rather than spend time with you, but be ready to provide lots of family time for them when they need it and set aside family time that includes their friends.

When stressful things are happening in the world at large, encourage your teen to take "news breaks," whether they are getting news from the television, magazines or newspapers, or online. Use what they're seeing and hearing as a catalyst for discussion. Teens may act like they feel immortal, but at bottom they still want to know that everything will be ok. Having honest discussions of your fears and expectations can help your high schooler learn to express their own fears. If your teen struggles with words, encourage them to use journaling or art to express emotions.

Many teens are already feeling extreme highs and lows because of hormonal levels in their bodies; added stress or trauma can make these shifts seem more extreme. Be understanding of feelings and emotions, but also be firm when teens respond to stress with angry or sullen behavior. Reassure your child that they will be ok and you are looking out for their best interest

The journey of resilience

Developing resilience is a personal journey, and you should use your knowledge of your own children to guide them on their journey. An approach to building resilience that works for you or your child might not work for someone else.

If your child seems stuck or overwhelmed and unable to use these tips, you may want to consider talking to someone who can help, such as a psychologist or other mental health professional. Turning to someone for guidance may help your child strengthen resilience and persevere during times of stress or trauma.

Acknowledgments

APA gratefully acknowledges the following experts: Mary K. Alvord, PhD, Robin Gurwitch, PhD, Jana Martin, PhD, and Ronald S. Palomares, PhD.

Information presented here should not be used as a substitute for professional health and mental health care or consultation. Individuals who believe they may need or benefit from care should consult a psychologist or other licensed health/mental health professional.

Recommended Reading

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National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)

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We can all help prevent suicide. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.

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The 988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We're committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

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We humans are a social species. We live in groups. We take care of one another. We build civilizations.

Our ability to cooperate has been a major adaptive advantage. It has allowed us to colonize virtually every habitat on Earth and thrive in more climates than any other animal, except maybe bacteria.

Part of being a social species, it turns out, is that we regulate one another's body budgets - the ways in which our brains manage the bodily resources we use every day. For your whole life, outside of your awareness, you make deposits into other people's body budgets, as well as withdrawals, and others do the same for you. This has pros and cons, as well as profound implications for how we live our lives.

Your family, friends and even strangers contribute to the structure and function of your brain and help it keep your body humming along.

How do the people around you influence your body budget and rewire your adult brain? Your brain changes its wiring after new experiences, a process called plasticity. Microscopic parts of your neurons change gradually every day. Branch-like dendrites become bushier, and their associated neural connections become more efficient. Little by little, your brain becomes tuned and pruned as you interact with others.

Some brains are more attentive to the people around them and others less so, but everybody has somebody. Ultimately, your family, friends, neighbors and even strangers contribute to your brain's structure and function and help your brain keep your body humming along.

This co-regulation has measurable effects. When you're with someone you care about, your breathing can synchronize, as can the beating of your hearts - whether you're in casual conversation or a heated argument. This sort of physical connection happens between infants and caregivers, therapists and clients, even people taking a yoga class or singing in a choir together.

If you raise your voice or just your eyebrow, you can affect what goes on inside other people's bodies.

We also adjust each other's body budgets by our actions. If you raise your voice or just your eyebrow, you can affect what goes on inside other people's bodies, such as their heart rate or the chemicals carried in their bloodstream. If a loved one is in pain, you can lessen their suffering merely by holding their hand.

Being a social species has all sorts of advantages for us humans, including the fact that we live longer if we have close, supportive relationships with others. Studies show that if you and your partner feel that your relationship is intimate and caring, that you're responsive to each other's needs and that life seems enjoyable when you're together, both of you are less likely to get sick.

And if you're already sick with a serious illness, such as cancer or heart disease, you're more likely to get better. These studies were conducted on married couples, but the results appear to hold for close friendships and for pet owners too.

We also get sick and die earlier when we persistently feel lonely - possibly years earlier, based on the data.

In general, being a social species is good for us, but there are also disadvantages. We also get sick and die earlier when we persistently feel lonely - possibly years earlier, based on the data. Without others helping regulate our body budgets, we bear an extra burden inside.

Have you ever lost someone through a breakup or a death and felt like you'd lost a part of yourself? That's because you did - you lost a source of keeping your bodily systems in balance.

A surprising disadvantage of shared body budgeting is its impact on empathy. When you have empathy for other people, your brain predicts what they will think and feel and do. The more familiar the other people are to you, the more efficiently your brain predicts their inner struggles. The whole process feels natural, as if you were reading another person's mind.

But there's a catch - when people are less familiar to you, it can be harder to empathize. You might have to learn more about the person, an extra effort that translates into more withdrawals from your body budget, which can feel unpleasant. This may be one reason why people sometimes fail to empathize with those who look different or believe different things and why it can feel uncomfortable to try. It's metabolically costly for our brains to deal with things that are hard to predict.

A hateful word may cause your brain to flood your bloodstream with hormones, squandering resources from your body budget.

No wonder people create so-called echo chambers, surrounding themselves with news and views that reinforce what they already believe - it reduces the metabolic cost and unpleasantness of learning something new. Unfortunately, it also reduces the odds of learning something that could change a person's mind.

We also regulate each other with words - a kind word may calm you, like when a friend gives you a compliment at the end of a hard day. And a hateful word may cause your brain to predict threat and flood your bloodstream with hormones, squandering precious resources from your body budget.

The power of words over your biology can span great distances. I can text the words "I love you" from the US to my close friend in Belgium, and even though she cannot hear my voice or see my face, I will change her heart rate, her breathing and her metabolism.

Or, someone could text something ambiguous to you like "Is your door locked?" and odds are that it would affect your nervous system in an unpleasant way.

Your nervous system can be perturbed not only across distances, but also across centuries. If you've ever taken comfort from ancient texts such as the Bible or the Koran, you've received body-budgeting assistance from people long gone.

Books, videos and podcasts can warm you or give you the chills. These effects might not last long, but research shows that we all can tweak one another's nervous systems with mere words in very physical ways that go beyond what you might suspect.

The power of words is not a metaphor; it's in our brain wiring.

Why do the words you encounter have such wide-ranging effects inside you? Because many brain regions that process language also control the insides of your body, including major organs and systems that manage your body budget.

These brain regions are contained in what scientists call the "language network" and guide your heart rate up and down. They adjust the glucose entering your bloodstream to fuel your cells. They change the flow of chemicals that support your immune system.

The power of words is not a metaphor; it's in our brain wiring. We see similar wiring in other animals; for example, neurons that are important for birdsong also control the organs of a bird's body.

Words, then, are tools for regulating human bodies. Other people's words have a direct effect on your brain activity and your bodily systems, and your words have that same effect on other people. Whether you intend that effect is irrelevant. It's how we're wired.

Does this mean that words can be harmful to your health? In small doses, not really. When someone says things you don't like, insults you or even threatens your physical safety, you might feel awful.

Over time, anything that contributes to chronic stress can gradually eat away at your brain - this includes verbal aggression, social rejection and neglect.

Your body budget is taxed in that moment, but there's no physical damage to your brain or body. Your heart might race, your blood pressure might change, you might ooze sweat, but then your body recovers and your brain might be a bit stronger afterward.

Evolution gifted you with a nervous system that can cope with temporary metabolic changes and even benefit from them. Occasional stress can be like exercise - brief withdrawals from your body budget followed by deposits create a stronger, better you.

But if you are stressed over and over and over again without much opportunity to recover, the effects can be far more grave. If you constantly struggle in a simmering sea of stress and your body budget accrues an ever-deepening deficit, that's called chronic stress. It does more than just make you miserable in the moment.

Over time, anything that contributes to chronic stress can gradually eat away at your brain and cause illness in your body. This includes physical abuse, verbal aggression, social rejection, neglect and the countless other creative ways that we social animals torment one another.

It's important to understand that the human brain doesn't seem to distinguish between sources of chronic stress. If your body budget is already depleted by the circumstances of life - like physical illness, financial hardship, hormone surges, not sleeping or exercising enough - your brain becomes more vulnerable to stress of all kinds. This includes the biological effects of words designed to threaten, bully or torment you or people you care about.

When your body budget is continually burdened, momentary stressors pile up, even the kind you'd normally bounce back from. It's like children jumping on a bed - the bed might withstand 10 kids bouncing but the 11th one snaps the bed frame.

Simply put, a long period of chronic stress can harm a human brain. When you're on the receiving end of sustained verbal aggression, studies show you're more likely to get sick. Scientists don't understand all the underlying mechanisms yet, but we know it happens.

These studies of verbal aggression tested average people across the political spectrum, left, right and center. If people insult you, their words won't hurt your brain the first or second time or maybe even the twentieth.

We are free to speak and act, but we are not free from the consequences of what we say and do.

But if you're exposed to verbal aggression continually for months or if you live in an environment that relentlessly taxes your body budget, words can physically injure your brain. Not because you're weak or a so-called snowflake, but because you're a human.

Your nervous system is bound up with the behavior of other humans, for better or for worse. You can argue what the data means or if it's important, but it is what it is.

It's the fundamental dilemma of the human condition: The best thing for your nervous system is another human and the worst thing for your nervous system is another human. Scientists are often asked to make our research useful to everyday life, and these findings about words, chronic stress and disease are a perfect example. There is a real biological benefit when people treat one another with basic human dignity.

A realistic approach to our dilemma is to realize that freedom always comes with responsibility. We are free to speak and act, but we are not free from the consequences of what we say and do. We might not care about those consequences or we might not agree that those consequences are justified, but they nonetheless have costs that we all pay.

We pay the costs of increased health care for illnesses - like diabetes, cancer, depression, heart disease and Alzheimer's disease - that are worsened by chronic stress. We pay the costs of ineffective government when politicians spew vitriol at one another and make personal attacks instead of having reasoned debate. We pay the costs of a citizenry that struggles to discuss politically charged topics with one another productively, a standoff that weakens our democracy.

As our society makes decisions about health care, the law, public policy and education, we can ignore our socially dependent nervous systems, or we can take them seriously. Our biology won't just go away.
Excerpted from the new book Watch her TED@IBM Talk here: 7 1/2 Lessons about the Brain by Lisa Feldman Barrett. Copyright © 2020 by Lisa Feldman Barrett. Used with permission from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

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People's words and actions can actually shape your brain - a neuroscientist explains how

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It's ironic but true: The best thing for your nervous system is another human and the worst thing for your nervous system is another human. Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett tells us why.

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Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

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Frequently Asked Questions - What is SAMHSA’s National Helpline?

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SAMHSA's confidential and anonymous resource for persons seeking treatment for mental and substance use disorders in United States and its territories. Find treatment for substance use disorders (e.g., opioid use disorder, alcohol use disorder), and mental disorders (e.g., PTSD, depression, SMI).

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Mental Wellness in the Black/African Communities

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Mental Wellness in the Black/African Communities

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NAMI Sharing Hope: Mental Wellness in the Black/African Ancestry Communities

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Sharing Hope is a three-part video series that explores the journey of mental wellness in Black communities through dialogue, storytelling and a guided discussion.

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An ACE score is a tally of different types of abuse, neglect, and other hallmarks of a rough childhood. According to the Adverse Childhood Experiences study, the rougher your childhood, the higher your score is likely to be and the higher your risk for later health problems. You can take the test below:

So, you've got your score. Now what?

First, remember that the ACE score isn't a crystal ball; it's just meant as guidance. It tells you about one type of risk factor among many. It doesn't directly take into account your diet or genes, or whether you smoke or drink excessively - to name just a few of the other major influences on health.

To learn more, check the CDC's ACE Study website. You'll find, among other things, a list of studies that explore the ways adverse childhood experiences have been linked to a variety of adult conditions, ranging from increased headaches to depression to heart disease.

Remember this, too: ACE scores don't tally the positive experiences in early life that can help build resilience and protect a child from the effects of trauma. Having a grandparent who loves you, a teacher who understands and believes in you, or a trusted friend you can confide in may mitigate the long-term effects of early trauma, psychologists say.

"There are people with high ACE scores who do remarkably well," says Jack Shonkoff, a pediatrician and director of the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University.

Resilience, he says, builds throughout life, and close relationships are key. Recent research also suggests that for adults, "trauma informed" therapy - which can center on art, yoga or mindfulness training - can help.

How best to find and help kids who are experiencing abuse and neglect right now?

Child psychologist Hilit Kletter, of Stanford University's School of Medicine, says that to spot these children, she looks for visible signs of stress to understand what might have happened to them and how best to intervene. Some kids have nightmares or recurring thoughts of a stressful event, she says, or may re-enact the trauma through play. Or the child may seem distracted or withdrawn.

"This will come out at school," Kletter says. "Teachers will tell parents [their child] seems to be in a daze in the classroom, not paying attention."

Kletter says reactions to trauma are sometimes misdiagnosed as symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, because kids dealing with adverse experiences may be impulsive - acting out with anger or other strong emotions.

"It's something that's very common in trauma: difficulty in regulating emotions and behavior," she explains. "That's why a lot of these kids get in trouble with the classroom."

Shonkoff's research center at Harvard tests interventions that can build resilience in kids who are growing up with adverse experiences - not just problems in the family, such as those the ACE study investigated, but also trauma stemming from poverty, for example, or from the chronic stress of racial or gender discrimination.

To bolster parents, the Harvard team is testing interventions right now that use video coaching to show moms and dads how to engage their babbling infants, using sounds and facial expressions in a style Shonkoff calls serve and return.

Shonkoff says these early interactions - a kind of conversation - have been shown to help children with later learning and literacy. Even more important, they boost kids' resilience, by helping them build secure attachments with caring adults. Research suggests that just one caring, safe relationship early in life gives any child a much better shot at growing up healthy.

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Take The ACE Quiz - And Learn What It Does And Doesn't Mean

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First developed in the 1990s, the 10 questions of the Adverse Childhood Experiences test are designed to take a rough measure of a difficult childhood. Finding out your score is easy. Now what?

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Many studies have proven that meditation has numerous physiological benefits, including a study done at Harvard University.

In the 8-week study, researchers determined that a simple practice like meditation could rebuild the grey matter of the brain in as little as eight weeks.

The brain's gray matter is responsible for the primary thinking, perceiving, and cognitive functions of the brain, helping us process information.

Meditation can do much more than boosting the brain, and it may even help you reduce your blood pressure, fight anxiety, and help you fight pain.

In this article, we will look at some of the many activities and exercises you can do so you can take advantage of this wonderful state of mind.

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our three Mindfulness Exercises for free. These science-based, comprehensive exercises will not only help you cultivate a sense of inner peace throughout your daily life but will also give you the tools to enhance the mindfulness of your clients, students, or employees.

What are Meditation Exercises and Activities?

There are many types of meditation practices and activities you can do on your own. There are also activities you can do as part of a group.

A meditation exercise can be as simple as doing some deep breathing, or as complex as repeating a mantra or doing Transcendental meditation. Any activity that helps to quiet the mind could be considered a meditative activity, even sitting outside and quietly watching the world go by.

There are many types of meditations, including but not limited to:

3 Meditation Breathing Exercises

There are many types of breathing exercises. Dr. Andrew Weil, an Integrative Medicine pioneer and professor of Medicine and Public Health, recommends three kinds of breathing exercises:

1. The Stimulating Breath or Bellow Breath.

2. Relaxing Breathing Exercise (4-7-8 Breathing).

3. Counting the Breath.

According to Dr. Weil (2019), practicing regular mindful breathing can help you feel calm and energized, and it may even help you manage stress-related health problems.

Breathing is something we can regulate and control, and it is an excellent tool for helping to clear the mind and achieve a state of relaxation.

These simple breathing techniques can help you relax and help you reduce stress.

1. The stimulating breath (Bellows breath)

The stimulating breath or bellows breath is a great way to boost your energy. This type of breathing practice is often done in yoga to help increase Prana, or life force energy.

The stimulating breath can help you increase your energy and help you be more alert. The bellows breath is a safe practice, but it could make you dizzy initially until your body gets used to the increased energy.

Strive for no more than 15 seconds or so on your first try, working up to a minute. Each time you practice this breath, you can increase your time little by little.

1. Sit up tall with your back straight and relax your shoulders.

2. Begin inhaling and exhaling rapidly through your nose. Keep your mouth closed but relaxed. The in and out breaths should be equal in duration, but as short and quick as possible. The bellows breath is a noisy breathing exercise.

3. Try for three complete breath cycles per second. As you breathe, you will notice a quick movement of the diaphragm, like a bellows.

This technique should leave you feeling invigorated and alert.

2. Relaxing breathing (4-7-8) exercise

The 4-7-8 breathing exercise is a straightforward technique, as well. It involves breathing in while counting to four, holding the breath to the count of seven, and exhaling to the count of eight.
This technique is a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system. However, you should not do more than four breaths at one time initially because it may leave you feeling lightheaded.

This is considered one cycle of breath. You may repeat this three or four more times.

The most important thing about this exercise is the 4-7-8 ratio. If you have trouble holding your breath for seven seconds, you can speed the practice up.

Once you learn this technique, you can use it to combat stress when you feel it coming on.

3. Counting the breath

Counting the breath is another good exercise.

1. Sit in a comfortable position with your back straight. Qclose your eyes and take a few deep breaths in and out breathe naturally.

2. Now, as you inhale, mentally count to one and slowly exhale.

3. Inhale again, counting to two, and slowly exhale.

4. Repeat this cycle as long as you feel like doing it, counting as you go.

Strive for a ten-minute breathing practice.

3 Exercises to Help with Anxiety and Stress

Researchers at John Hopkins University in Baltimore, MD, reviewed nearly 19,000 meditation studies. The research showed that mindfulness meditation could help ease psychological stresses like anxiety, depression, and even pain. (Goyal, 2014).

1. The Body Scan Meditation

The body scan meditation, or body awareness, is an exercise that allows you to tune out distractions while focusing on various areas of the body.

Body Scanning is a great technique that helps you become more aware of how you are feeling in any given moment.

Excess muscle tension exacerbates muscle pain, headaches, and fatigue, and scanning the body can help you prevent the build-up of pressure.

You can either do a quick body scan or a more extended scan. A quick scan can help you immediately release tension, and it only takes a few seconds.

1. Get into a comfortable position. You can sit or lie down.

2. Close your eyes for a deeper practice.

3. Starting with your feet and toes, tune into and pay attention to any sensations you feel, like pain or discomfort. You may also notice sensations like tingling, stinging, aching or throbbing.

4. Take a nice deep breath in through your nose, exhaling through the mouth, releasing the uncomfortable sensation. Allow that area of your body to release, loosen up, and soften.

5. Work your way up the body, paying attention to how you feel as you focus on the legs, the hips, the back, the stomach, the chest, the neck and shoulders, the arms and hands, and finally the face.

6. Move progressively up your body, focusing on each muscle group one at a time.

2. Diaphragmatic breathing

Diaphragmatic breathing or abdominal breathing is another good way to ease stress and anxiety. Breathing in this manner produces the relaxation response in the body, which allows the respiratory system to function correctly.

Breathing shallow can often contribute to feelings of anxiety, panic, or stress. Practicing abdominal breathing allows the mind and body to slow down and relax.

1. Lie on your back on a supportive surface. Bend your knees and support your head with a pillow. You may also place a pillow under your knees.

2. Place one hand on your chest and the other below your rib cage. Breathe in deeply through your nose so you can feel the hand on your stomach gently rising.

3. Allow the muscles of your stomach to tense and tighten as you exhale through your lips.

4. Practice this breathing technique for about 5-10 minutes 3-4 times a day if possible. This type of deep breathing is excellent for stress, and it helps calm and relaxes you.

Read more here about breathing exercises.

3. Progressive muscle relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation is a simple exercise where you tense and release all the muscles in your body, working your way up from the feet and toes to the head.

The exercise is designed to help the body progressively relax, just like the name sounds. This technique can help decrease muscle tension, fatigue, neck and back pain, or even muscle spasms.

This technique also reduces the physiological tension caused by thoughts that tend to provoke anxiety.

In this exercise, you should strive to tense and then relax all of those large muscles in the body. This should be done systematically either working your way down from the head or up from the feet and toes.

Deep muscle relaxation helps reduce physiological tension as well.

2 Meditation Exercises for Better Sleep

Good sleep. Need we say more? A vital aspect of good health, try these meditation exercises prior to going to bed, to improve your sleep habits.

1. Visualization

Visualization is a beautiful way to calm and relax the body, and it can also help you sleep (Raypoole, 2020).

Anytime you use your imagination, you are in essence, daydreaming and visualizing.

Visualization for relaxation and sleep utilizes the imagination to create a mental location where the mind can be calm, and the body can be relaxed.

Visualization helps relax the mind and body, clearing away the clutter of the day. As you visualize, you can practice seeing things with all of your senses.

Visualization, also called Guided Imagery is a wonderful way to take a mini-vacation in your mind.

1. Start by closing your eyes and imagining in your mind a peaceful and relaxing place like a beach or a park.

2. Allow your imagination to feel and see everything, using all of your senses. Feel the warm sun, hear the ocean, or watch the birds.

3. If stressful thoughts enter your mind, acknowledge them, and dismiss them.

2. The blackboard technique

Counting is another good way to help you fall asleep. The blackboard technique involves writing numbers down on a chalkboard and then erasing them in your mind.

You can also imagine a black curtain and watch the numbers appear and disappear. The act of having to keep track of numbers makes you sleepy because you will get bored trying to do so.

You may be surprised at how quickly you lose track of the numbers and drift off to sleep.

Running Groups and Workshops

According to Tara Brach, Ph.D., psychologist, author, and teacher of meditation, a mindfulness meditation group is a wonderful way to connect with others and deepen your meditation practice (Brach, n.d.).

There are no rules and groups come in many shapes and sizes. Hosting a group is a great way to hold yourself accountable and provide a support system and a space to connect with others.

Getting together with like-minded people can help you strengthen your meditation practice.

Meditation groups typically start with a handful of interested friends meeting somewhere to practice.

As the group grows, you might end up meeting in a larger space like a hall or a church. You can even have online groups for those who have limited access or for those who can't leave their home.

A group can be two people or ten people. Some people enjoy a small group, while others may be more comfortable in a larger setting.

You can start with a simple meditation like a deep breathing practice and work your way up to more complex meditations, like guided imagery.

Groups also offer a wonderful way to share experiences. For example, you can practice going around the room and talking about each person's experience in terms of their meditation practice and what they enjoy or what they may be struggling with.

This kind of mindful sharing is a great opportunity to learn from others.

If you're hosting a workshop, you will probably want to create some formal outline of topics to cover in the event.

If you feel uncomfortable hosting an event on your own, consider getting a co-host to help you prepare and run the event.

Meditation to Improve Concentration

Focused Meditation is a good way to improve your concentration and focus.

Focused meditation is a technique where you choose to focus on something like an object with solitary intent. You would focus on this object to the exclusion of all other things (Bertone, 2020).

For example, you can focus on a flower, a small stone, or anything you find lying around like a candle or a decorative object. You can also focus on the object with your eyes open, and then close your eyes and try and imagine the object in every little detail.

In this exercise, you would practice focusing with attention without trying too hard. By choosing to focus on one thing only, like a small object, you begin to quiet your busy mind and feel that sense of peace in the spaces between the thoughts.

The focused meditation technique is a very calming and centering practice because it anchors you in the present moment, freeing you from judgments about the past or worrying about the future.

1. Find an object to focus on. If you would like to hold an object to start with, you may do that now.

2. Begin by closing your eyes and focusing your attention on your breath, breathing slowly and deeply.

3. Now begin to focus on your object. If you are holding something, open your eyes for a brief moment and study the object, looking at all those little details. Gently close your eyes once again.

4. If you are picturing an object, start thinking about the item and focus your attention on what you recall about the object. If you are inside, you can also focus in on whatever is nearby like a lamp, a candle, or a small object.

5. Imagine this object in every little detail. If you are outside, focus on something in your immediate environment.

6. As you close your eyes, try and recall every little detail of this object in your mind's eye, and see how powerful your perceptions are. Recall all of the tiny little details down to each crease and each small little bump. Focus all of your attention on this process and see what you recall.

The more you practice this type of focused meditation, the easier it will be to recall all of those little details, helping you sharpen your focus.

2 Easy Meditation Exercises for Beginners

Everyone is a beginner at one point. If you are only starting meditating, don't feel that you have to catch up with everyone else. Instead, make use of the following beginner meditation exercises and set your own pace.

1. Walking meditation

Nothing is simpler than a walking meditation. A walking meditation is a great choice for those who like the outdoors or for those who have trouble sitting still and clearing their mind.

In walking meditation, you walk silently and contemplatively. Walking is very calming for the mind, body, and spirit (Hanh, 2011). If you find yourself stressed, one of the best things you can do is to get outside and move and take a break. Taking a short walk, or even a long walk is simple to do, and it can help ease away stress and anxiety.

For those who have trouble sitting still, a walking meditation is a wonderful option. Incorporating a simple walking meditation into your day is a wonderful way to ease away the tension of the day. The goal of walking meditation is to become mindful of the present moment (Hanh, 2011). You can do a walking meditation anywhere, but an ideal place is a park or somewhere that has greenery or foliage.

This Walking Meditation is based on the guided walking meditation from Jon Kabat-Zinn, a mindfulness expert.

A walking meditation involves very deliberate thinking and doing a series of actions that you usually do automatically.

As you walk, try to focus your attention on one or more sensations that you would typically take for granted, such as your breathing, the way your legs move or how the air feels against your skin.

If your mind wanders, continue focusing on something specific in your environment.

Our Toolkit also includes a downloadable PDF and MP3 Mindful Walking tool, which you can access with a subscription to the 400+ tools included in the Positive Psychology Toolkit©.

2. Gratitude meditation

A Gratitude Meditation is a practice where you reflect on all the gifts in your life. It's a simple practice with significant results.

This meditation offered by Dr. Kathi Kemper at the Ohio State University's Center for Integrative Health and Wellness is a great place to start.

The practice of focusing on things you feel grateful for can help you shift your focus away from the negative and onto the positive.

As you experience positive emotions like gratitude, loving-kindness, and compassion, your awareness broadens, and your creativity and problem-solving capacities expand.

A short version of this meditation could be done by closing your eyes, taking a deep breath and mentally listing 5-7 things you feel grateful for like a warm home, a soft blanket, a loving spouse, a caring friend or even a good job or financial security.

Working With Seniors and Adults

Many, if not all, of the techniques described in this article can be used by people of all ages, including children and seniors.

One simple practice that can be done with seniors would be the Mindful Listening Practice.

Mindful listening involves closing your eyes and taking the time to be still and to listen to what is going on around you. The stream of sounds that occur in our environment can even be compared to the flow of thoughts in our mind.

This kind of simple practice can help improve communication skills and help the listener to be more present throughout the day.

3 Classroom Meditation Activities for Students

Below you will find a few mindfulness meditation activities that can be easily taught to students.

1. Stillness challenge

Using a timer and calming music is a great way to teach children the basic premise behind meditation and mindfulness.

Students are asked to sit still and listen to the soothing music without moving. You can also dim the lights and perhaps set a timer for 3-5 minutes.

Ask students to find a cozy spot and to sit comfortably and tell them that together you are going to start a new stillness challenge.

The object of the challenge is to sit with your eyes closed without moving or fidgeting as much as possible.

Once the timer goes off, they can then open their eyes and stretch. You can also start with 1 minute and work up to more extended time frames.

2. Breathing buddy meditation

The breathing buddy meditation involves holding a stuffed animal. Students begin by choosing a stuffed animal like a teddy bear and then lying down and closing their eyes.

Next, you set a timer for 3-5 minutes and ask the students to place the stuffed animal on their belly as they rest.

If the object falls off, they can put it back and keep breathing. The objective is to keep the focus on the breath and to balance the object for as long as they can do so.

3. Sound focus meditation

The sound focus meditation involves listening to some bell or tone, like a Tibetan singing bowl.

Students are asked to sit comfortably with their eyes closed. As students listen to the bell or the tone, they are asked to breathe quietly and listen intently, especially as the sound fades away.

This exercise is a good way to help students learn to focus and concentrate.

2 Quick and Fun Meditation Activities

Quick techniques you can apply during the day.

Exercise One - One Minute of Mindfulness

One quick and fun mindfulness meditation you can do is the One Minute of Mindfulness exercise.

This exercise can also be done throughout the day. Set a timer for 60 seconds and use the minute to focus solely on your breathing. Notice how your breath sounds as you breathe in and out and notice how your body feels. If your mind starts wandering, bring your attention back to your breathing.

This may seem like a simple exercise, but it can be a very powerful one. You can do this exercise with your eyes opened or closed.

Exercise Two - Conscious Observation

This is another quick technique that can help you clear your mind. Pick up an object you have lying around. Any object will do. Hold the object in your hands and allow your attention to be fully absorbed by the object. If you are holding a coffee mug, notice how it feels in your hands. Don't over-analyze it either, allow yourself to be present in the moment.

This type of conscious observation is a powerful form of meditation.

2 Mindfulness Meditation Exercises

There are many mindfulness exercises you can practice. A simple breathing exercise is a good place to start.

Two-minute breathing exercise

Begin by getting into a comfortable position. Set a timer for 2 minutes. Close your eyes so you won't be distracted. Relax and see if you notice any areas that seem tight or stiff. If you do, try breathing in and softening those areas.

Check-in with your body and notice how your back feels against the chair or how your feet feel touching the floor. Notice the gentle pull of gravity.

Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Notice how the breath effortlessly flows. Notice your belly rising and falling.

Pay attention to how this quick meditation makes you feel as you open your eyes.

Gratitude meditation

Taking a moment to stop and practice gratitude is very powerful. A study done in 2015 showed that mindfulness-based gratitude practices were associated with improvements in happiness, resulting in less stress (O'Leary & Dockray, 2015).

Close your eyes and reflect on something small that you notice at the moment. This might be something like the sight of a tree outside or a feeling of warmth.

Next, reflect on someone who has had an impact on your life. This might be someone you know personally or someone you don't know.

Express some gratitude for all those things you are grateful for, like a hot cup of coffee in the morning or a good friend.

And don't forget to express some gratitude for your healthy body and for having the presence of mind to be here in this moment.

Take as much time as you need to meditate and reflect.

Transcendental Meditation Exercises

Transcendental Meditation (TM) is a meditation technique that is designed to help you increase your awareness, and it can also help you avoid thoughts that may be distracting.

The technique is from the ancient Vedic traditions of India.

TM uses the idea of repeating a mantra, which is given to the person by the TM instructor. The technique involves closing your eyes and getting into a comfortable position and repeating your word or phrase.

Doing so can help you sharpen your focus and transcend the normal ordinary process of thinking.

Stoic Meditation Exercises

Stoic meditation is based on Stoicism, a philosophy based on restraint, compassion, and humility.

The Negative Visualization exercise can help you increase your level of happiness as you focus on how you would feel if you lost certain things from your life (Irvine, 2008).

This exercise, while it sounds negative, can help you gain a new level of appreciation for the things you have. Try closing your eyes and imagining how you would feel if you didn't have a roof over your head or if you lived in a third world country.

Imagine losing a loved one, an arm, or losing your social status or your job. This exercise is an excellent way to practice gratitude because it allows you to see how blessed you truly are in any given moment.

3 Visualization Meditation Exercises

Visualization is nothing more than forming pictures in your mind.

Visualization also involves using your imagination, much as you did as a child.

With visualization meditation, close your eyes and imagine yourself somewhere that makes you happy.

Exercise Number 1 - The Beach

Begin by closing your eyes and taking some long, slow deep breaths. Take at least 3-4 breaths. Now imagine yourself walking on the beach. Try and use all of your senses and see, feel, and hear things. Feel the sun on your skin, and listen for the sound of the waves. Imagine the brilliant blue water and how nice and white the sand is.

As you walk, you might even pick up some small shells or enjoy the feel of the ocean water on your feet. Taste the saltwater on your tongue and enjoy the experience. Stay here as long as you like, and immerse yourself in the experience.

Exercise Number 2 - The Blank Screen

The blank screen helps you empty your mind. Imagine you are staring at a white wall or blank screen. Whenever you notice a random thought, see yourself erasing the thought out of your mind.

When you allow your mind to go blank, you offer no resistance, so your vibration rises naturally. You can then work on any goal you like.

Exercise Number 3 - Forest Trail

This is a great exercise to do for stress relief. Imagine yourself walking on a trail in the forest. Hear the sticks and twigs crackling under your feet as you walk and smell the mustiness of the environment.

As you walk, notice how good you feel. Feel the sun on your skin and smell the flowers and plants. You could even stop and sit on a log and see what else you notice. Take as much time as you need to rest and relax. For a bonus, see if you can picture yourself sitting in front of a beautiful, serene lake.

The more you visualize, the easier it gets. Try some visualization work the next time you have an important goal to work on, and you might be surprised at how well it works!

3 Useful Meditation Worksheets (PDF)

There are some wonderful meditation worksheets that can act as a guide to help you throughout your day. A few of these include:

Meditation Worksheet #1 - How to Quiet Your Mind in the Midst of Chaos

Notice your state of being by focusing on your breath. What can your breath tell you about how you are feeling? For example, you might be feeling calm, grounded, energized or even agitated. Write down how you are feeling as you focus on your breath.

List some things you feel grateful for in this moment. You can be grateful for many things including your health, friendships, financial security, relationships, abundance, etc. What do you feel grateful for?

The next step involves setting an intention for the day. This might include setting the intention to be present, to feel grounded or to remain calm during a challenging situation. List an intention or intentions for the day.
Step One: Focus on the Breath
Ask yourself what you are holding onto that no longer serves you? List some worries or some things you can let go off. For example, you can let go of the need to be liked, the need to be perfect or let go of the constant tendency to worry. What can you let go of?
Step Two: Develop a Sense of Gratitude
This worksheet is similar to the meditation worksheet you can download at Quartner & Associates.

Meditation Worksheet #2 - STOP Technique
Step Three: Set an Intention
The STOP technique was developed by Elisha Goldstein. It is designed to help you manage your worried mind by helping you create some mental space.

As you tune into the present moment you can help mitigate the negative effects of the stress response. When you drop into the present moment, you are more likely to gain perspective and see that you have the power to regulate your response to pressure.
Step Four: Let Go
This technique is wonderful to practice anytime you feel anxious or worried.

Stop what you're doing and put things down for a moment.

Take 2-3 nice deep breaths. Strive to breathe all the way down into the lower belly.

Observe how you are feeling. Note what thoughts, feelings or emotions are running through your mind. Realize that thoughts are not permanent - they come and they go.

Research shows that the simple act of naming your emotions can turn the volume down on the fear circuits in the brain resulting in a feeling of calm. Notice your body and how you are standing or sitting. Notice your posture or if you have any aches and pains.

Proceed with something that can support you in the moment. Call a friend, take a walk, have a cup of coffee or tea.

Try this the next time you feel anxious. Notice how stopping and tuning into how you are feeling can change your perspective. What would it be like in the days, weeks, and months ahead if you started stopping more often?

This worksheet is similar to the exercise found on mindful.

Meditation Worksheet #3 - Letting Go of Your Story

The stories that we continually tell ourselves about our lives can be very limiting and inaccurate.

Learning how to identify your story can set you free. It can also help you create a new story.

As you go through this exercise, reflect upon the story or stories you believe about your life. Question their validity, and practice letting them go.

Find a quiet place and a time where you won't be disturbed and somewhere you have time to reflect.

Start by asking yourself what stories you believe about yourself and how they might be holding you back from being happy, successful, etc.

Ask yourself what you truly want.

Think about how you introduce yourself to people or what you tell people.

Once you have identified your story (or one of them), notice how your body feels when you believe this story.

Pay attention to what thoughts arise when you believe this story.

Next, ask yourself who created this story and if it is even accurate.

Begin to imagine what it would feel like if you didn't actually believe this story, and see how it feels to let go of it, for even a moment.

Observe how you feel as you let this story go.

Ask yourself what you would do differently if you didn't believe this story.

As you go throughout the day, ask yourself what story you are holding onto that might still be holding you back.

And remember to be patient when letting go of your story. Practice self-compassion. You don't have to let your entire story go all at once.

This worksheet is similar to the worksheet available at Mindfulness Exercises.

3 Guided Meditation Exercises on YouTube

There are hundreds if not thousands of guided meditations available for free on YouTube.

Michael Sealey's Guided Meditation for Detachment from Over-Thinking is a great place to start because it can help you release anxiety and stress. This meditation encourages a calm awareness of the breath and a detachment from everyday thoughts.
Creating a New Story
Jason Stephenson's Guided Meditation for Anxiety and Stress is another good choice. This is a beginner meditation using visualization and guided imagery.

The Breathing Meditation from the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center gently guides you through a simple breathing practice to help you focus your awareness.

A Take-Home Message

As you can see, there are hundreds of tools and methods to start a simple meditation practice. Meditation doesn't have to be complicated, and it can be as simple as doing some deep breathing or taking a mindful walk.

The best place to start is to make that commitment to take some time out of your day to center your thoughts and focus your awareness.

The more you practice these simple techniques, the better you will feel about your meditation practice.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don't forget to download our three Mindfulness Exercises for free.

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30 Meditation Exercises and Activities to Practice Today

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We look at meditation exercises and activities that can boost the brain, help reduce blood pressure, fight anxiety, and help manage pain.

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Rainbow Relaxation: Mindfulness for Children

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The Body Scanner! Mindfulness for Children

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5 Easy Ways to “Tap” into Confident Kids Using EFT

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“Emotional Freedom Technique” (or EFT) is a clinically proven form of “emotional acupuncture without needles”. Used by therapists, psychologists and millions worldwide to ease emotional distress and clear negative emotions, beliefs, and memories, it’s setting a new tone for how we manage stress in the modern world.

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Tapping for Kids with Alison - What is Tapping?

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Inside: A child therapist's favorite ways to help kids learn to take a deep breath, including quick explanations and videos of deep breathing techniques.
Have you ever told a kid to take a deep breath, and then they start hyperventilating? Or they breathe in, but don't breathe out?
Sometimes, kids may need a little more help to figure out how to properly take a deep breath.
First, let's review why deep breathing matters.

When you are calm, your body is in what is known as "rest and digest" mode. Your breathing is normal, your muscles are relaxed, and your heart rate is normal. It's how you would be when you're watching a show and relaxing.

But then suddenly, a dinosaur is chasing you!!

When you experience a stressful event (like an unexpected dinosaur in your living room), your body automatically goes into what is known as "flight, fight or freeze" mode. Your heart rate increases, your stomach stops digestion, and your breathing becomes more shallow.

The goal of calming exercises is to get yourself from "flight, fight or freeze" mode back to "rest and digest" mode. Deep breathing helps get more oxygen into your bloodstream, opening up your capillaries. It has a physical effect on your body to help you calm down and lower stress.

So deep breathing does make a big difference for kids. But how can we teach them to take a deep breath properly?
Here are some of my favorite ways to introduce deep breathing! Quick note: The breathing we want kids to do is deep belly breaths, not shallow chest breaths. When they breathe in, their belly should expand, and when they breathe out, their belly should contract.
Use bubbles

Blowing gently to create bubbles is a good way to be playful and breathe deeply. Kids have to blow carefully and slowly to make the bubbles, which is a major reason why I like using it to help kids take deep breaths.

Use a stuffed animal to practice deep breathing

Have your child lay down on their back and put a stuffed animal on their belly. Have them breathe in and move the stuffed animal up, then breathe out and bring the stuffed animal back down. This helps teach kids to use their belly to take big deep breaths. Another alternative is to use a weighted stuffed animal.

Use a pinwheel

Kids can practice breathing out slowly or more quickly, using the speed of the pinwheel as a measure. Then they can figure out which way works and feels best for them.

Use a Feather

Get some colored feathers and pick out one feather to use. It could be a color that they love or one that makes them feel calm. Breathe in and hold it for a count of 3, then breathe out going up on one side of the feather and down the other side.

Hoberman Sphere

Breathe in and expand the sphere, breathe out and push the sphere back in (this mirrors what should be happening to their belly) - Watch the video on YouTube!

DIY Crafts

Make a craft using half a paper plate, crepe paper or ribbons. Have kids blow the crepe paper or ribbons as they take deep breaths.

Materials Needed:

1. Paper plate - cut in half
2. crepe paper - cut into 6" - 8" strips, cut in half
3. yarn or string
4. any other embellishments to make the creature (use what you have on hand)

Attach the crepe paper to the flat bottom of the paper plate. Attach yarn/string to the top center of the curved part of the paper plate as a hanger.Have kids decorate the paper plate any way they want, as a monster, or a creature, or with stickers.

To Use: hang up the creature and have kids blow on the crepe paper to get it to move.

OTHER DIY ACTIVITIES
Floating Ball Activity from All For The Boys Fire Breathing Dragon Craft by BABYCCINO
TRIANGLE Breathing

Start at the bottom left of the triangle.

Breathe in for three counts as you trace the first side of the triangle.

Hold your breath for three counts as you trace the second side of the triangle.

Breathe out for three counts as you trace the final side of the triangle. You have just completed one deep breath.

SQUARE BReathing

Start at the bottom right of the square

Breathe in for four counts as you trace the first side of the square

Hold your breath for four counts as you trace the second side of the square

Breathe out for four counts as you trace the third side of the square

Hold your breath for four counts as you trace the final side of the square

You just completed one deep breath!

STAR BREATHING

Start at any "Breathe In" side on the star.

Trace your finger over the "breathe in" side of the point

Hold your breath when your finger gets to the tip of the point

Breathe out as you trace your finger over the other side of the point.

Keep going until you reach where you started.

When you trace the whole star, you will have completed 5 deep breaths

Start with the eight on its side and start in the middle

Go up to the left and trace the left part of the 8 with your finger while you breathe in.

When you get to the middle of the eight again, breathe out while you trace the right part of the 8 with your finger.

6 Sided Breathing

Start at the left hand side of the hexagon.

Trace your finger over the "breathe in" side as you take a deep breath in.

Hold your breath as you trace the second side of the hexagon.

Breathe out as you trace the third side of the hexagon.

Then repeat for the bottom part of the hexagon.

Breathe in like a flower, breathe out like you are blowing out birthday candles.

Breathe in blue sky, Breathe out gray skies.

Pretend your belly is like a balloon. Breathe in and make the balloon bigger, then breathe out and make the balloon shrink.

Smell the soup, cool the soup or smell the hot cocoa, cool the hot cocoa

Darth Vader Breathing - Pretend you have a straw in your mouth, suck in through the straw and breathe in. Breathe out like Darth Vader.

Ocean Breathing - breathe in and imagine the wave rolling in, breathe out and imagine the wave rolling out.

Color breathing - Breathe in and imagine a calm, happy, positive color. Breathe out and imagine a color that represents stress, anxiety, etc. leaving your body.

Soft Belly - Say to yourself "soft" as you breathe in and "belly" as you breathe out.

Whale breath

Sitting criss-cross applesauce, sit up tall and take a deep breathe in, Hold it while you count to 5 with your fingers then tilt head up to blow it out of blowhole. You can also put your hands up on top of head to create the blow hole to "blow" out.

Snake Breath

Breathe in, pause briefly, then breathe out slowly while you make a hissing sound for as long as you can.

Bunny Breath

You can do this breathing either while sitting, or add movement to it.

Sitting version - make "bunny" hands in front of chest and take quick sniffs like a bunny.

Movement version - start in a squat and hop forward while taking quick bunny sniffs.

Bumblebee Breath

Breathe in and pretend you are smelling a flower. As you breathe out, make humming bee sound. Try different ways of making the sound - longer or shorter, high or low sounds.

5 - 5 - 10 breathing

Breathe in for 5, hold for 5 and breathe out for 10.

7-11 breathing

Breathe in for 7, exhale for 11.

Count to 10

Using Your Hand to Take a Deep Breath aka Mountain Breathing

Put up one hand, palm facing out and fingers spread apart. Place the index finger of your other hand at the base of your thumb and breathe in while you move your finger up one side of your thumb. Move your finger down the other side of your thumb and breathe out. Do the same thing with the remaining four fingers, and take deep breaths in and out as you move your finger. After you've reached the second side of your pinky finger, you'll have done 5 complete deep breaths.

You can also do this with a close friend or trusted adult. Have them spread their hand out and use your finger to trace their hand and do deep breaths. Or do the opposite: spread your hand out and have them use their finger and trace yours. You can do deep breaths together!

Hands to Shoulders

Sometimes you breathe from your chest instead of your belly, but it's hard to notice. This is an easy way to figure out if you are moving your chest or your belly when you're breathing. While sitting or standing, put your hands down by your sides. Then bend your arms at your elbows and place them on the front of your shoulders. Try taking a deep breath. If your shoulders are moving a lot, focus more on taking breaths using your belly.

Rainbow breathing

Arms start at the side of your body; arms go up as you breathe in and go down as you breathe out (arms make a rainbow) - Watch the video on Youtube!

Volcano Breaths

Pretend your hands and arms are like lava flowing from a volcano. Start with your hands in front of your heart, with palms touching. Keeping your hands together, reach straight up and breathe in. Separate your hands and move your arms down to your side and breathe out.

Explosion Breaths

Start in a standing position. Breathe in as you crouch down. Then, jump up, spreading your arms and legs as you breathe out.

Nostril Breathing/Cowabunga Breathing

Block one nostril, breathe in for 5, block the other nostril, breathe out for 5.

Wood Chopper Breathing

Standing tall with legs hip distance apart. Clasp hands together and raise your arms above your head. Breathe in through nose. Exhale and pull your hands down toward your legs as you say "HA" to "chop" wood
Mindful Arts in the Classroom Breathing Cards Sesame Street Belly Breathe Video

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Deep Breathing Exercises for Kids - Coping Skills for Kids

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Inside: A child therapist's favorite ways to help kids learn to take a deep breath, including quick explanations and videos of deep breathing techniques. Have you ever told a kid to take a deep breath, and then they start hyperventilating? Or they breathe in, but don't breathe out?

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Beyond “Take a Deep Breath”: Helping Your Anxious Child Practice Calming Strategies at Home

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If your child gets upset when you say, “Take a deep breath,” try some of these other calming strategies for anxious and angry kids.

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One year, during standardized testing, we moved a trampoline to my office to help one of my students get out excess energy and take movement breaks while testing. My office was super small, so this couldn't be the set up every day, but it was an awesome tool to use. If you have some space, break out a trampoline or take your child to a place where there is a trampoline and let them jump for a few minutes.

Puzzles

Sometimes doing a simple puzzle can distract kids. Focusing on putting something together and doing it successfully can help kids get in a better mindset and can shift their mood.

The repetitive motion of the Jacob's Ladder and the gentle sounds can be soothing to kids. I always had a couple in my office at school for this reason.

Paper and pencils

Sometimes kids can't express what's happening verbally. It's easier to write about it, or even draw about it. I've even had kids do a timeline of events to help me understand what happened. Inevitably, when they explain it to me, it helps them process the situation as well. Then we can figure out what to do next.

Bosu Ball

My son NEEDS to move every day. However, with the winter we've had, we haven't been able to go out and run in our backyard or the park. We used what we had on hand here, a Bosu Ball. My son's new favorite activity is jumping on the Bosu ball at home. And recently he's discovered he can flip it over and try to balance on it as well. It keeps his body moving and calms him down and he can "get his energy out".

I always kept this game around because some kids found it quite soothing to play. There is something about the smoothness of the marbles and the sound that they make when you drop them into the different spots on the mancala board.

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10 Strategies To Help Kids Calm Down - Encourage Play

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As a school counselor, I often had kids come into my office in a heightened state, and it was my job to be able to help them calm down and get back to work in class. I had lots of items in my room to help achieve that.

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Breathing Relaxes Kids, Decrease Stress Bedtime Story | Stress Free Kids

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"ARGH!" Eddie, your 6 year old, yells in frustration for the third time in 30 minutes.

Maybe he didn't get enough sleep last night. Maybe his allergies are acting up and he's more on edge. Maybe it's the middle of school vacation week and he's irritated with his sister. Or maybe it's all three. Whatever the reason, he needs to calm down. What can you do to help your son? You can create a calm down spot in your own home.

Find a spot

Find a spot that is quiet and not too busy. It could be a corner in a room, or it could be an area in their own bedroom. Figure out what's going to work best for you and your family. We use a corner in our downstairs dining room as a calm down spot. We don't use our dining room frequently, but it's still close by to everything on that floor.

Delineate the spot and make it cozy

Start with creating a way to delineate the space. Here are a few ideas:

Next, focus on making the space cozy. Add some pillows or extra blankets, and a few stuffed animals in there.

Add some calming tools

Create a calm down toolbox for your child to use in times of stress and frustration. Get a box or a basket, and put in items that will calm them. Some common items that help are stress balls, play dough, a book they like, or a toy that they enjoy playing with quietly.

Make coping skills cue cards so that your child can have a visual reminder of what calms and relaxes them. Include that in the box too.

Explain and practice

Your child will need an explanation of what a calm down spot is and how to use it. Show them where the spot is and explain to them that this is a place they can go when they need a break or need to calm down when they get upset or frustrated.

Let them add in their own specific items like a special blanket or a special stuffy. You want them to feel as cozy and comfortable as possible in this space.

When they are in a calm frame of mind, have them go into the spot and see how it looks and feels. It's always best to practice using these strategies before a crisis arises.

Calm reminder to use it

The next time your child is looking like they are getting frustrated or angry, give them a gentle reminder to use the calm down spot. Remind them that it's okay to take a break and come back when they feel ready.

Will it work perfectly every time? Absolutely not! But it will be another coping skill to add to your child's growing list of things to try to help deal with stress and big feelings.

"Eddie, you seem frustrated. Why don't you take a break and go to your calm down spot?"

He lets out an exasperated sigh, but walks to the calm down spot. A few minutes later, you take a quick peek and see him playing with his silly putty. Woohoo!

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How to Create a Calm Down Spot - Coping Skills for Kids

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"ARGH!" Eddie, your 6 year old, yells in frustration for the third time in 30 minutes. Maybe he didn't get enough sleep last night. Maybe his allergies are acting up and he's more on edge. Maybe it's the middle of school vacation week and he's irritated with his sister.

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13 Powerful Phrases Proven to Help an Anxious Child Calm Down

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Want to know how to help an anxious child calm big fears and worries? Rather than “You’ll be fine,” try one of these powerful phrases that work…

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How to build social emotional skills at home

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How to build social emotional skills at home

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Social and emotional learning (SEL) is a hot topic in schools these days. Why? Not only is there good research to show its effectiveness in the areas of mental health, social skills, and academic achievement, but it also makes good sense. According to the NBC News State of Parenting Poll, 54% of parents reported strong social and communication skills as the most important contributors to their child's future success - more important than any other skill sets! Why shouldn't schools be fostering social and emotional skills, and why shouldn't parents be taking an interest in it?

What is SEL? According to CASEL.org, SEL is made up of evidence-based practices that highlight the way we understand, use, and manage emotions to learn. Put another way, it's the process by which we acquire and apply knowledge, attitudes, and skills needed to:

1. Understand emotions

2. Set and achieve goals

3. Feel and show empathy for others

4. Establish and maintain health relationships

5. Make responsible decisions

These may seem like diverse skills, but they are quite connected in everyday life. In fact, SEL is made up of five interrelated cognitive, effective, and behavioral competencies. Let's examine each competency and some tips for parents to foster these skills:

Self-Awareness

The ability to recognize our own emotions, thoughts, and values, and how they influence behavior. It's also the ability to accurately assess our strengths and limitations with a sense of confidence, optimism, and a "growth mindset" (which means through effort and good teaching, our talents and skills can improve). Here are a few ways to help facilitate self-awareness:

Take time to identify or talk about feelings each day

Teach new words for feelings and tie them to experiences and facial expressions

Use books or TV to point out more complex emotions

Help your child recognize his/her strengths and abilities

Talk about your own emotions and how certain situations make you feel as a parent

Social Awareness

The ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others, including those from diverse backgrounds and cultures. It also includes the capacity to understand social and ethical norms for behavior and to recognize family, school, and community resources and supports. Here are suggestions to help facilitate social awareness:

Read books and point out how characters may be feeling

Talk about real-life social interactions (the cashier's body language, tone, eye contact)

Expose your child to people who are different than themselves and teach how to appreciate new perspectives

Truly listen to your child ("When I think about it like that, I can see where you're coming from")

Talk about social issues such as immigration, discrimination, and bullying

Set rules about social life together (curfew, dating, consequences)

Relationship Skills

The ability to establish and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships with diverse individuals and groups. It also includes proficiency in communicating clearly, listening well, cooperating with others, resisting inappropriate social pressure, negotiating conflict constructively, and seeking and offering help when needed. Here are a few ways to help facilitate relationship skills:

Model healthy relationships with other adults in front of your children

Teach conversation skills (eye contact, first impressions, asking questions)

Teach conflict resolution skills

Talk about what makes a good friend and what does not

Notice your child's social cues and point them out (especially incongruencies in words behavior)

Discuss peer pressure and respectful behavior including online behavior

Responsible Decision-Making

The ability to make constructive choices about personal behavior and social interactions based on ethical standards, safety concerns, and social norms. It also includes realistic evaluation of consequences of various actions and a consideration of the well being of our selves and others. Here are a recommendations to encourage responsible decision-making:

Allow your child to make choices early on

Teach how different rules apply in different contexts (quiet voice in library, cheering at soccer game)

Point out decisions made by book characters and discuss

Verbally walk through your own decision-making process as a model

Teach how to make amends (if you break someone's toy, you apologize, offer to fix it)

Reinforce independent and safe decisions your child makes

Discuss what it means to be accountable

Summary

The bottom line is that, as your child grows, social and emotional skills matter. These skills will impact relationships and success in school, work, and various groups/activities along the way. Some skills need to be taught systematically and explicitly, but the wonderful thing about SEL is that so much can be embedded naturally into our daily interactions with our children and with them watching us. Did we model appropriate behavior with the mail carrier or taxi driver? Do we follow through and hold ourselves accountable? Are we practicing healthy stress and anger management techniques? Do we reflect on the way we interact with others around us? Parenting is not easy, and we're constantly learning new ways to improve for the sake of our children. Being mindful of SEL in your own life may take some practice but will pay off in the long run. Not just for you, but for your child, too!

If you need help implementing SEL into your family routines and interactions, contact us today.

References:
www.casel.org
www.parenttoolkit.com

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How parents can improve their children's self-awareness, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making at home.

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Emotions & Self-Awareness Resources from PBS Kids

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Emotions & Self-Awareness Resources from PBS Kids

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Parent resources for growing self-awareness in children. As parents, we can help children understand and express their feelings in healthy ways.

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Think back to the first time you drove a car. It may have seemed like a hopelessly complicated process: position your hands at 10 and 2, brake at the right times, follow all traffic laws, keep an eye on other drivers.

You could have said, "I just don't have it in me. Driving isn't my thing." This would be a FIXED mindset way of thinking. But instead, you took the GROWTH mindset approach: you practiced , practiced, and practiced some more. Now, driving is probably second nature, something you can do while singing along to the radio.

Pretty impressive, right? This is neuroplasticity at work.

Neuroplasticity is the science behind growth mindset. It's the reason we can develop skills and knowledge through effort, practice, and persistence .

Why Teach Neuroplasticity to Kids?

When kids understand neuroplasticity, their perception of their own abilities also changes. It becomes much easier for them to understand growth mindset and embrace mistakes, obstacles , and challenges.

In this article, we provide helpful resources and activities to teach your children or students about their brain's ability to grow and change. Use these activities at home or add them to your classroom or homeschool curriculum.

Let's start by making sure understand the basics.

What Is Neuroplasticity?

Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change and grow throughout a person's life. Until recently, scientists thought that this was only possible in early childhood. After that, scientists believed that the brain "solidified" and became fixed in its habits. However, research has shown that the brain continues to change even into old age.

Like a physical muscle, the brain gets stronger the more you use it. The brain is a "pattern-seeking device." When the neurons in your brain are activated in a particular pattern, it's faster and easier for your brain to follow that same pattern in the future.

This means when you use your brain to complete a task, the brain "remembers" the task, so next time it becomes a little easier. The time after that, it's even easier, and so on.

The bottom line is that our brains aren't static. Through repeated practice and continual challenges, we can build pathways that make our brains stronger and smarter.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our FREE Your Words Matter Volume 2 Kit. With these 10 one-page parenting guides, you will know exactly how to speak to your child to help them stand up for themselves, be more confident, and develop a growth mindset.

How to Teach Neuroplasticity to Kids: Activities and Resources

1. Talk About Their Brain

Provide a Very Basic Explanation of the Main Parts of the Brain

The is the biggest part of your brain. It's the "thinking part" of your brain, and it controls your muscles and holds your memories. The cerebellum is in the back of your brain, and its job is to control balance, coordination, and movement . The connects your brain to your spinal cord. It's in charge of the activities you can't control, like breathing, digestion, and your heartbeat.

Explain Neurons and Pathways

When you were born, your brain came with neurons, a type of tiny cell. When you learn things, your brain sends messages from one neuron to another. If you do the same thing enough times, your brain eventually makes a connection (or path) between neurons. This makes activities easier, and you can do them better and better.

Use Analogies

Imagine that you're in a big field filled with tall, overgrown grass. Your job is to get to the other side. The first time, crossing the field will be difficult-you'll have to fight your way through the big, tall grass. But if you keep trying, you'll get there.

The next time, it'll be a little easier. Every time you cross the field, it'll get easier and easier. Eventually, you'll create a new path in the grass from going over it again and again.

You can also make a different analogy: establishing new neural pathways between brain cells is like building a bridge to cross a ravine . Show this short clip from the BBC documentary The Human Body , which explains the idea.

Make the Connection

This is just like neuroplasticity. You're in charge of your brain and you can learn anything you want, no matter how difficult it seems at first-you just have to go over it again and again.

Discuss the Value of Mistakes

Mistakes help us learn, and they make our brains grow. If you were walking through that grassy field and you fell in a hole, that's okay. You wouldn't stay there; you would just get up and remember the choice you made to get there.

Next time, you would know that the hole was there, and you could walk around it. Mistakes teach you how to improve next time.

2. Share Amazing Facts

To help kids understand the incredible power of their brains, share amazing facts like these:

There are as many neurons in the brain as there are stars in the Milky Way: about 100 billion.

Your brain physically stops growing around age 18, but it keeps changing forever. Even as an adult, you can still get better at all kinds of skills.

Do you know how powerful your brain is? It can produce enough electricity to power a lightbulb!

By design, our brains are all about growth and change-as is the whole human body: Your body makes about 2 million NEW red blood cells every second!

3. Build a Brain Model

Build a basic brain model from Play-Doh to help your children or students better understand how the brain works. You can use different colors for the various parts and regions, plus pipe cleaners to hold it all together.

Another idea is to make a . You can also create neurons from modeling clay, beads, rope, or string.

4. Create a Brain Poster

Another powerful way to teach kids about neuroplasticity is the "Build a Growth Mindset" poster from Big Life Journal's Growth Mindset Printables Kit. The poster asks engaging questions and can be used as a coloring sheet, providing a fun visual that teaches children different ways to grow their brains.

5. Celebrate Mistakes

Explain to your child that mistakes make the brain grow. In fact, the brain does NOT grow just from getting the answers right. To keep strengthening neural pathways, we must continue challenging ourselves and going to the next level of difficulty. This is going to involve mistakes, and that's great!

When you make mistakes, embrace them, and talk to your child about what you've learned from the experience or what you will do differently next time. Do not be too hard on yourself, especially in front of your child, and model persistence, resilience , and the willingness to take on a challenge.

Even better, when you or your child make a mistake, take the opportunity to celebrate. Give a high five and say, "High five! You're learning!" or, "Woohoo! Your brain is growing!"

If you need some tips on how to encourage a growth mindset in your child, don't forget to download our FREE Your Words Matter Kit Vol. 2.

6. Brainstorm ways Neuroplasticity has Already Worked

Help your children or students come up with a list of activities that were once difficult and became much easier with practice: riding a bike, counting or doing the math, reading, roller skating, playing an instrument, drawing, or coloring, even walking and running at one point.

"Remember how hard it was to add numbers when you first started? But you kept practicing, and now you can even multiply and divide!".

You can also remind them of how they learned to ride a bike.

"Think about when you first started riding a bike. It was hard, wasn't it? Your brain had to think about staying balanced, watching the sidewalk, pedaling, steering with the handlebars...But as you practiced over and over, the neurons in your brain sent messages back and forth until a path was formed. Now, you can ride your bike without even thinking about it. That's because your brain has created a 'bike-riding' pathway."

Keep the list somewhere visible, like on your refrigerator or bulletin board in your classroom or child's room. When children feel that something is too hard, remind them of all the things that were once "too hard" and are now second nature.

Explain that this concept applies to task, no matter how challenging. Sure, they might make a lot of mistakes at first, but that's part of the process. The key isn't perfection , but persistence . The more the task is repeated, the easier it will become.

Your children will learn from (and love) Your Fantastic Elastic Brain: Stretch It, Shape It by JoAnn Deak, an educator, and psychologist.

This book is an engaging introduction to the brain, explaining to children that trying new things without giving up strengthens your brain-and that making mistakes is one of the best ways the brain learns.

8. Create Interactive Visuals

Teacher Cindy Chernett Brown suggests using an interactive visual to help children understand neuroplasticity.

Two students hold up colorful pictures of neurons.

The teacher then provides many pieces of cut yarn to represent connections between neurons.

She asks a member of the class to tell her a skill they are working on, such as soccer . She then asks students what you can do to get better at the game of soccer.

Each child who gives a suggestion selects a piece of yarn and gives one end to each of the students holding the neurons. After many examples, the class can see how thick the collection of yarn is getting.

The teacher then gives excuses for not going to soccer practice, such as weather, injury, or the season-ending. With each excuse, she takes away a piece of yarn (representing connections between neurons).

Throughout the year, you can refer to this example when explaining why the class needs to practice math facts, study for spelling tests, and keep trying.

Our popular Big Life Journal - 2nd Edition (ages 7-10) helps children develop strong Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) and growth mindset skills through inspiring stories, colorful illustrations, and engaging guided activities. In this beautifully illustrated journal, children learn how to believe in themselves, face challenges with confidence, and use mistakes as opportunities to grow!

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How to Explain Growth Mindset to Kids: Neuroplasticity Activities

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Neuroplasticity is the science behind growth mindset. When kids understand neuroplasticity, their perception of their own abilities changes. It becomes much easier for them to understand growth mindset and embrace mistakes, obstacles, and challenges. In this article, we'll provide helpful resources and activities to teach your children or students about their brains ability to grow and change.

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Supporting young children's learning and well-being at home

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Supporting young children's learning and well-being at home

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You are a trusted resource for your child when they have questions about life and the changes they experience as they get older. Here you'll find information on mental health conditions, risk factors and warning signs of mental illness, and practical ways you can help support your child's mental health and well-being. It all begins with a conversation.

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You are a trusted resource for your child when they have questions about life and the changes they experience as they get older. Here you'll find information on mental health conditions, risk factors and warning signs of mental illness, and practical ways you can help support your child's mental health and well-being.

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5 Tips for Teaching Kids to Engage in Positive Self-Talk

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It is easy for kids to engage in negative self-talk, especially when things are hard. Here’s how positive self-talk can help kids in tough situations.

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Kids Mental Health Quiz Start - FSGC Topeka

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Get started with our convenient quiz that can be an important step in ensuring your child’s wellbeing, health and happiness.

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Source:

Pediatric Symptom Checklist (PSC): 1988, M. Jellinek & J.M. Murphy, Massachusetts General Hospital and Bright Futures in Practice: Mental Health, 2002.

For more information visit https://www.massgeneral.org/psychiatry/treatments-and-services/pediatric-symptom-checklist/
Please note: Online screening tools are not diagnostic instruments. You are encouraged to share your results with a physician or healthcare provider. Mental Health America Inc., sponsors, partners, and advertisers disclaim any liability, loss, or risk incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, from the use and application of these screens.

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Source: Pediatric Symptom Checklist (PSC): 1988, M. Jellinek & J.M. Murphy, Massachusetts General Hospital and Bright Futures in Practice: Mental Health, 2002. For more information visit https://www.massgeneral.org/psychiatry/treatments-and-services/pediatric-symptom-checklist/ Please note: Online screening tools are not diagnostic instruments. You are encouraged to share your results with a physician or healthcare provider.

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Helping Children Cope With Tragedy Related Anxiety 

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Helping Children Cope With Tragedy Related Anxiety 

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Children sense the anxiety and tension in adults around them. And, like adults, children experience the same feelings of helplessness and lack of control that tragedy-related stress can bring about. Unlike adults, however, children have little experience to help them place their current situation into perspective.

Each child responds differently to tragedy, depending on his or her understanding and maturity, but it's easy to see how an event like this can create a great deal of anxiety in children of all ages because they will interpret the tragedy as a personal danger to themselves and those they care about.

Whatever the child's age or relationship to the damage caused by tragedy, it's important that you be open about the consequences for your family, and that you encourage him or her to talk about it.

Quick Tips for Parents

Children need comforting and frequent reassurance that they're safe make sure they get it.

Be honest and open about the tragedy or disaster.

Encourage children to express their feelings through talking, drawing or playing.

Try to maintain your daily routines as much as possible.

Pre-School Age Children

Behavior such as bed-wetting, thumb sucking, baby talk, or a fear of sleeping alone may intensify in some younger children, or reappear in children who had previously outgrown them. They may complain of very real stomach cramps or headaches, and be reluctant to go to school. It's important to remember that these children are not "being bad" --they're afraid. Here are some suggestions to help them cope with their fears:

Reassure young children that they're safe. Provide extra comfort and contact by discussing the child's fears at night, by telephoning during the day and with extra physical comforting.

Get a better understanding of a child's feelings about the tragedy. Discuss the tragedy with them and find out each child's particular fears and concerns. Answer all questions they may ask and provide them loving comfort and care. You can work to structure children's play so that it remains constructive, serving as an outlet for them to express fear or anger.

Grade-School Age Children

Children this age may ask many questions about the tragedy, and it's important that you try to answer them in clear and simple language. If a child is concerned about a parent who is distressed, don't tell a child not to worry--doing so will just make him or her worry more.

Here are several important things to remember with school-age children:

False reassurance does not help this age group. Don't say tragedys will never affect your family again; children will know this isn't true. Instead, say "You're safe now and I'll always try to protect you,-- or--Adults are working very hard to make things safe." Remind children that tragedys are very rare. Children's fears often get worse around bedtime, so you might want to stick around until the child falls asleep in order to make him or her feel protected.

Monitor children's media viewing. Images of the tragedy and the damage are extremely frightening to children, so consider limiting the amount of media coverage they see. A good way to do this without calling attention to your own concern is to regularly schedule an activity--story reading, drawing, movies, or letter writing, for example--during news shows.

Allow them to express themselves through play or drawing. As with younger children, school-age children sometimes find comfort in expressing themselves through playing games or drawing scenes of the tragedy. Allowing them to do so, and then talking about it, gives you the chance to "re-tell" the ending of the game or the story they have expressed in pictures with an emphasis on personal safety.

Don't be afraid to say "I don't know." Part of keeping discussion of the tragedy open and honest is not being afraid to say you don't know how to answer a child's question. When such an occasion arises, explain to your child that tragedys are extremely rare, and they cause feelings that even adults have trouble dealing with. Temper this by explaining that, even so, adults will always work very hard to keep children safe and secure.

Adolescents

Encourage these youth to work out their concerns about the tragedy. Adolescents may try to down-play their worries. It is generally a good idea to talk about these issues, keeping the lines of communication open and remaining honest about the financial, physical and emotional impact of the tragedy on your family. When adolescents are frightened, they may express their fear through acting out or regressing to younger habits.

Children with existing emotional problems such as depression may require careful supervision and additional support.

Monitor their media exposure to the event and information they receive on the Internet.

Adolescents may turn to their friends for support. Encourage friends and families to get together and discuss the event to allay fears.

Additional Resources

The Disaster Distress Helpline (DDH) is a national hotline dedicated to providing year-round disaster crisis counseling. This toll-free, multilingual, crisis support service is available 24/7 via telephone (1-800-985-5990) and SMS (text 'TalkWithUs' to 66746) to residents in the U.S. and its territories who are experiencing emotional distress related to natural or human-caused disasters. Callers and texters are connected to trained and caring professionals from a network of crisis centers across the country. Helpline staff provide supportive counseling, including information on common stress reactions and healthy coping, as well as referrals to local disaster-related resources for follow-up care and support.

Visit http://disasterdistress.samhsa.gov for additional information and resources related to disaster behavioral health.

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Helping Children Cope With Tragedy Related Anxiety

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Children sense the anxiety and tension in adults around them. And, like adults, children experience the same feelings of helplessness and lack of control that tragedy-related stress can bring about. Unlike adults, however, children have little experience to help them place their current situation into perspective.

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Things Adults Say That Hurt Instead of Help 

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Things Adults Say That Hurt Instead of Help 

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Infographic: Things Adults Say That Hurt Instead of Help

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Mental Health America (MHA) uses the information you provide to us to contact you about upcoming and future MHA events, reports, and other organization updates. You may unsubscribe from these communications at any time. For more information, check out our Privacy Policy.

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

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For additional information about resources in your area, contact an advocate or your local state coalition.

State & Territory Coalitions

Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Alaska Network on Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault

Arizona Coalition To End Sexual & Domestic Violence

Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence

California Partnership to End Domestic Violence

Violence Free Colorado

Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence

DC Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Florida Department of Children and Families

Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Guam Coalition Against Sexual Assault & Family Violence

Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence

Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Iowa Coalition against Domestic Violence

Kansas Coalition against Sexual & Domestic Violence

Kentucky Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence

Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence

Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault & Domestic Violence / Jane Doe, Inc.

Michigan Coalition To End Domestic & Sexual Violence

Violence Free Minnesota

Mississippi Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Missouri Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence

Montana Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence

Nebraska Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence

Nevada Coalition to End Domestic and Sexual Violence

New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence

New Jersey Coalition to End Domestic Violence

New Mexico Coalition Against Domestic Violence

New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Hotline NYS: 1-800-942-6906

Hotline NYC: 1-800-621-4673

Website: www.nyscadv.org

North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence

CAWS North Dakota

Office: 701-255-6240

Website: https://www.cawsnorthdakota.org/

Ohio Domestic Violence Network

Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault

Oregon Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence

Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Coordinadora Paz para la Mujer (Puerto Rico)

Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence

South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault

South Dakota Coalition Ending Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault

Tennessee Coalition To End Domestic & Sexual Violence

Texas Council on Family Violence

Women's Coalition of St. Croix

Hotline: (340) 773-9272

Website: https://wcstx.org/

Utah Domestic Violence Coalition

Vermont Network Against Domestic & Sexual Violence

Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance

Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence

West Virginia Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Wisconsin Coalition Against Domestic Violence

Wyoming Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault

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For additional information about resources in your area, contact an advocate or your local state coalition.

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At Dickerson Children's Advocacy Center, we work with children affected by physical and sexual abuse, drug endangerment, and the witnessing of violence. We provide a safe and caring environment where children and their non-abusive parent(s) or guardians can receive services and emotional support under one roof. We are a child-focused facility that provides forensic interviews, forensic medicals, mental health and victim advocate services to victims of child abuse between the ages of 0 to 18. Providing these services in a single location can help alleviate additional stress and trauma that that these children can experience by moving between agencies.

Watch the video to learn more

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hearing their voices - healing their hearts

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At Dickerson Children's Advocacy Center, we work with children affected by physical and sexual abuse, drug endangerment, and the witnessing of violence. We provide a safe and caring environment where children and their non-abusive parent(s) or guardians can receive services and emotional support under one roof.

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The South Carolina Youth Advocate Program (SCYAP) is South Carolina's premier provider of foster care and community-based services. We are a private, non-profit, 501(c)3 child-placing and family-serving organization. SCYAP has served children and families in South Carolina since 1990.

SCYAP programs promote individualized treatment, flexible programming, case and cause advocacy, community-based services, and a positive approach to treating children and working with families. We have a comprehensive array of programs and services to children and families dealing with serious emotional, behavioral, psychological and/or development issues.

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South Carolina Youth Advocate Program (SCYAP) - Home

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The South Carolina Youth Advocate Program (SCYAP) is South Carolina's premier provider of foster care and community-based services. We are a private, non-profit, 501(c)3 child-placing and family-serving organization. SCYAP has served children and families in South Carolina since 1990.

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The National Foster Parent Association - Home

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If you are unable to attend on a day you are scheduled for Preservice Training, please call the office at +1 (803) 865-2020
or Email Us to let us know to prevent being marked as "NO SHOW" on the attendance record.

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SC Foster Parents Training & Resources - SC Foster Parents Training & Resources

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If you are unable to attend on a day you are scheduled for Preservice Training, please call the office at +1 (803) 865-2020 or Email Us to let us know to prevent being marked as "NO SHOW" on the attendance record.

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Search NCFA's Member Directory to find an adoption professional to assist you with a range of services including homestudies, placement services, expectant parent counseling, birthparent support, legal services, search and reunion guidance, post adoption support, and much more.

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Search NCFA's Member Directory to find an adoption professional to assist you with a range of services including homestudies, placement services, expectant parent counseling, birthparent support, legal services, search and reunion guidance, post adoption support, and much more.

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When children are placed in out-of-home care (also called foster care), it is imperative that child welfare agencies find safe, permanent homes for them as quickly as possible. In most circumstances, children can be reunited with their families, but in some cases children find homes with relatives or adoptive families. When helping children and families achieve permanency, child welfare professionals must balance an array of issues, including needs of the child and the family, as well as legal requirements. For instance, families may be experiencing issues such as substance abuse, mental illness, or domestic violence, which may increase the risk of child maltreatment. They may also be involved in multiple systems. In addition, there are many Federal and State laws that outline requirements for the permanency process. This section includes resources to help guide child welfare professionals, as well as families and youth, through the permanency process and help ensure safe, stable, and long-lasting outcomes for children.

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When children are placed in out-of-home care (also called foster care), it is imperative that child welfare agencies find safe, permanent homes for them as quickly as possible. In most circumstances, children can be reunited with their families, but in some cases children find homes with relatives or adoptive families.

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Federation of Families of South Carolina | A Voice for Children’s Mental Health

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I am so happy to be a part of their Family Support Network group. Sharing my experiences with others has helped me realize that I am not alone in the problems I face as a parent.

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Parent Training and Resource Center for Disabilities and Special Needs

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Parent Training and Resource Center for Disabilities and Special Needs

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The Parent Training and Resource Center (PTRC) is a program offering support, training, information and referral to families accessing special education services for their children and youth with disabilities. Funded in large part by the US Department of Education, the PTRC is a Community Parent Resource Center (CPRC) described in Part D of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act.

The PTRC addresses the need to empower parents/caregivers to strengthen their role as participants in the provision of appropriate educational services for their children with special needs in Berkeley, Dorchester & Charleston Counties in South Carolina.

Parent Training and Resource Center Services include:

To view the PTRC products listed on this website, such as the newsletter and training materials, your browser must be equipped with Adobe Acrobat Reader, which you can download HERE from Adobe free of charge .

Peer-Parent Mentor Program

Through the Peer-Parent Mentor Program, the Parent Training and Resource Center (PTRC) provides direct support to parents/guardians accessing special education services or other supports for their children with disabilities in public schools. Peer Parent Mentors are individuals who have children, or close family members, who have (or have had) special education needs or they are individuals with professional experience in the field of special education. Peer Parent Mentors receive extensive and specialized training each year from Mitchell Yell, Ph.D., Professor in Special Education in the College of Education at the University of South Carolina. The training includes information on the IDEA, Section 504, ADA, effective communication techniques and South Carolina special education policies and procedures.

After completing the training program, Mentors are partnered with parents/guardians of children with disabilities who have contacted the PTRC in need of assistance. Mentors can explain to parents their rights and responsibilities under state and Federal law and provide information and direct support. Mentors may accompany parents to Individual Education Program (IEP) and other school-based meetings to plan education services. Peer Parent Mentors provide each of their parent partners with our comprehensive Parent's Guide to Special Education Services. The purpose of Peer Parent Mentor support is to improve a parent's understanding of the complicated special education system and to strengthen their ability to advocate for their child. In so doing, Mentors can:

provide answers related to special education services,

review records and discuss their meaning and significance,

help prepare for the IEP meeting,

help prepare correspondence to school personnel or others,

model good skills and provide constructive feed-back,

help identify local/state/National resources.

A Mentor can not attend meetings unrelated to special education services, take responsibility for preparing a parent's correspondence, or meet with school personnel on a parent's behalf in his/her absence. A Mentor's help is not meant to be an open-ended or indefinite service and funding prohibits this. Peer Parent Mentors do not act as lawyers, social workers, service coordinators, physicians, or mental health professionals.

Parent receiving Peer Parent Mentor support will be asked to provide a release of information. Please click of this link for a copy of the release: PTRCrelease

Peer Parent Mentoring is a free service available to families in Charleston, Berkeley, and Dorchester Counties.

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Parent Training and Resource Center | Family Resource Center for Disabilities and Special Needs

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The Parent Training and Resource Center (PTRC) is a program offering support, training, information and referral to families accessing special education ser ...

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Family Connection of South Carolina - Changing lives by making connections, raising awareness, and promoting inclusion for those with disabilities and special healthcare needs.

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Family Connection of South Carolina | Changing lives by making connections.

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Buddy Walk 2023 Register and start fundraising now, then join the Buddy Walk celebration on October 29 at Saluda Shoals Park Athletic Fields! LOOK! 2023 New location! A limited number of photos from the LOOK! 2023 Exhibit are now on display at the Irmo Branch Library--6251 St. Andrews Road.

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Providing Resources - Children's Trust of South Carolina

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We collect and study child data so that we know where to target prevention efforts, what's working and what's not working. Understanding child well-being trends is important because the insights gained enable us to focus on policies and programs that will lead to the greatest improvements.

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The official website of the Federal Trade Commission, protecting America's consumers for over 100 years.

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Cyberbullying is bullying or harassment that happens online. It can happen in an email, a text message, a game, or on a social networking site. It might involve spreading rumors or images posted on someone's profile or passed around for others to see, or creating a group or page to make a person feel left out.

Help Prevent Cyberbullying

Talk to your kids about bullying.

Tell your kids that they can't hide behind the words they type and the images they post. Bullying is a lose-lose situation. Hurtful messages not only make the target feel bad, but also make the sender look bad. Often they can bring scorn from peers and punishment from authorities.

Ask your kids to let you know if an online message or image makes them feel threatened or hurt. If you fear for your child's safety, contact the police.

Read the comments. Cyberbullying often involves mean-spirited comments. Check out your kid's page from time to time to see what you find.

Recognize the signs of a cyberbully.

Could your kid be the bully? Look for signs of bullying behavior, such as creating mean images of another kid. Keep in mind that you are a model for your children. Kids learn from adults' gossip and other behavior.

Help stop cyberbullying.

Most kids don't bully, and there's no reason for anyone to put up with it. If your child sees cyberbullying happening to someone else, encourage him or her to try to stop it by telling the bully to stop and by not engaging or forwarding anything. Researchers say that bullying usually stops pretty quickly when peers intervene on behalf of the victim. One way to help stop bullying online is to report it to the site or network where you see it.

What to do About a Cyberbully

Don't react to the bully.

If your child is targeted by a cyberbully, keep a cool head. Remind your child that most people realize bullying is wrong. Tell your child not to respond in kind. Instead, encourage him or her to work with you to save the evidence and talk to you about it. If the bullying persists, share the record with school officials or local law enforcement.

Protect your child's profile.

If your child finds a profile that was created or altered without his or her permission, contact the site to have it taken down.

Block or delete the bully.

If the bullying involves instant messaging or another online service that requires a "friend" or "buddy" list, delete the bully from the lists or block their user name or email address.

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Cyberbullying is bullying or harassment that happens online. It can happen in an email, a text message, a game, or on a social networking site. It might involve spreading rumors or images posted on someone's profile or passed around for others to see, or creating a group or page to make a person feel left out.

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Keeping your teen safe online is near the top of the worry list for parents today. Kids do everything online, from learning to socialising, gaming to shopping. For teens, learning how to recognise the risks and protect themselves is a life skill they'll need for years to come.

The first step to keeping teens safe online is to know what your child is actually doing online. Rather than banning it, you need to engage with it. Even if they've told you what apps they're on, it can easily go over your head if you're not in the know. Here's a run-down of the main online platforms that teens are using at the moment.
👉The most popular apps with teens right now 👉Online risks for teens, and how to protect them
The most popular apps with teens right now

1. Instagram

Instagram is the most popular app with teens today. You might use it yourself, but if you don't it's an app where you can simply post a picture (or several) with a caption, and this then gets viewed by other users who follow your account.

You have the choice to have a private or a public account. If you have a public account, then if your photo caption contains words with a hashtag in front of it (i.e. #picoftheday), then it will get shared with users who follow that hashtag.

Pros: Great for discovering inspiring ideas and content.

Cons: Can promote unrealistic ideas of what's real or normal.

2. TikTok

A musical app where you upload a 15-second video - normally miming the words to a song - and then merge it with music to create a short music video.

Pros: A fun way for kids to be creative with music and videos.

Cons: There's little in the way of screening for different age-groups, so they might see provocative or inappropriate videos.

3. YouTube

You'll almost certainly know about YouTube, the video sharing site. With teens, make-up tutorial videos, video game demonstrations, singing and music videos all have huge popularity. Some users who have thousands of followers, including children and teens, get paid (sometimes enough to live on) by companies for reviewing their products in their videos.

Pros: A great source of free educational and entertaining videos.

Cons: Like with Instagram, influencers can encourage an unrealistic view of what's normal.

4. Snapchat

Snapchat lets you take a photo or short video - with the option of many fun face-recognition filters - to your friends. The video/photo then deletes itself straight after being viewed.

Pros: It makes video and picture sharing easy and means content doesn't fill up memory on everyone's phones.

Cons: If any content is bullying or inappropriate, it can delete itself before the recipient gets the chance to report it.

5. Twitter

Another one that you'll probably be familiar with. The message posting site that has changed the world since it was founded in 2006, and is especially popular with a certain US president. It's really popular with teens too, and they often use it to share memes, jokes and opinions of whatever's going on in their day. Like Instagram, if you have a public account you can share your posts more widely by using hashtags, and you can choose to keep your posts private too.

Pros: Gives everyone a chance to share their news and opinions, and find out what others are saying too.

Cons: Kids are exposed to a full range of content (good and bad) and since it's public, their posts may receive comments from strangers

6. Whatsapp

You'll probably have this on your phone too. Used by billions across the world, it's one of the most popular ways to instant message - both one-to-one and in groups. You need someone's phone number or email address to be able to message them, and messages are "end-to-end encrypted", which means they're (basically) unhackable.

Pros: Makes messaging quick and easy, and works on both Apple and Android devices.

Cons: Can be addictive, especially if they're in any active group chats.

7. Multiplayer video games - XBox, Playstation, Minecraft, Fortnite etc.

Popular with lots of teens and adults, video-games that are linked to the internet let you play with people from anywhere else in the world.

Pros: State-of-the-art gaming which is really fun and can be creative and educational. Instant message and audio chat options make them very social.

Cons: It's possible to play with and chat to people who they don't know.

So these are the main platforms that teens spend their time on at the moment. But what are the main risks? With teens, once you're aware of the dangers, the most effective way to protect them is to educate them in practicing safe behaviours themselves.

Online risks for teens, and how to protect them

1. Sharing personal information

2. Teens socialising online - staying safe and avoiding cyberbullying

3. Harmful content

4. What are influencers and why are teens so obsessed with them?

5. Body image and mental health for teens online

1. Sharing personal information

Whatever platform your child is on, they should know never to share personal information about themselves publicly. That includes their whole name, address, phone number, email address, bank account details and what school they go to.

Any accounts they have on post-sharing sites/apps (Instagram, Twitter, TikTok) should be set to private, so noone they don't know can see what they share.

The only private accounts they follow should be those of friends and family (they'll probably follow celebrities too), and they shouldn't let themselves be followed by anyone they don't know.

Even then, private accounts and personal messages can still sometimes be seen by the wrong people. A good rule of thumb is to never share anything online that they wouldn't be happy to publish on the front page of a newspaper.

2. Socialising online - staying safe and avoiding cyberbullying

When it comes to communicating with people online, the first rule should be to have the same standards that they have for speaking to people face-to-face. That includes both what they say to others, and how they let themselves be treated too.

Remind them that any strangers they do communicate with online could easily not be who they say they are. You probably don't want to scare them to death, but if you feel they're not taking on what you're saying, then the news is full of horror stories where things have gone wrong that should warn them of the risks out there.

They should never meet up in person with anyone they've met online.

Have an ongoing conversation about mental health, and how certain things they see or experience on the internet make them feel. This can help you guide them to recognise when something's inappropriate, and to protect themselves as a result.

3. Harmful content

The internet is full of stuff that teens and children shouldn't see. From fake news, to images that promote a negative body image, to pornography to negative ideologies, it's no wonder that parents worry. While you can control what they can see at home to an extent with the settings in your wifi account, it's still easy for them to come across harmful content at some point. The most effective way to help them here is to educate them in tackling the dangers themselves.

Encourage them to take a critical approach to any information they see or read online. Where is it published? What are the expertise of the author? What is the motive of the author?

Show them how to report content and comments they find offensive, and how to block and report inappropriate or abusive users.

Remind them that they should come and talk to you if anything does upset them, or if they're not sure how to respond to something, so you can work out what to do together.

4. What are influencers and why are teens so obsessed with them?

It's a word that's become a job title in the past few years. In a recent survey, more kids in the UK said they wanted to be influencers than doctors! An influencer is someone with an account on an online platform (like the ones mentioned above) who has thousands or even millions of followers. They tend to recommend products to buy (often with sponsorship from the company) and promote their lifestyle.

Ask your teen what influencers they pay attention to, and about the sort of content they share. Talking to your teen about how they're using the web like this is a great chance to help them understand what's healthy and what might be having a negative impact.

5. Teen body image & mental health online

A big problem for teens online is content that encourages negative body image. Most famously for girls but for boys too, influencers who post pictures of what they eat, detailed posts about dieting and photos of their bodies to accompany them can all feed into teens feeling self-conscious, with a warped idea of what's normal and healthy.

Ask your teen about the sorts of images they're seeing online, and how they make them feel. Even if they're not totally frank about their feelings, it's important to tell them how people are not always honest about what they say their lifestyle is (i.e. someone who posts a picture of a huge ice cream sundae along with a photo of them looking super skinny might not have eaten the whole thing, and they might not be eating healthily either).

If your teen can limit how much attention they give to lifestyle and diet-related content, their mental health is likely to benefit. Reinforcing positive messages and habits at home can also help to override any negative stuff they've been seeing on the internet.

Further reading & resources:

From the Government - Child Online Safety - a practical guide for parents and carers whose children are using social media

From NSPCC (the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) - A Guide to Keeping Children Safe Online

From MyTutor - The Screen Time Diet: helping your teen find the balance with tech

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The Parents' Guide to Teaching your Teen Online Safety |

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Keeping your teen safe online is near the top of the worry list for parents today. Kids do everything online, from learning to socialising, gaming to shopping. For teens, learning how to recognise the risks and protect themselves is a life skill they'll need for years to come.

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Being a foster parent is a rewarding-and challenging-job. Learn about your role and the resources available to help you succeed

When a child or sibling group is placed in your home, a journey begins that can last anywhere from overnight to several months. After the immediate safety of the child has been addressed, the next priority is reunifying the child with the family from which he was removed. Slightly more than half of all children who go into foster care return to their families.

On this page:

Providing for the needs of the child

While a child is placed in your home, you will need to ensure that his emotional, medical, dental, and educational needs are being met. "Questions to Ask When Accepting a Foster Placement," an article on our blog, offers advice from workers and families about ensuring you can meet a child's needs.

Children in foster care are removed from their families due to an abusive or neglectful situation and may require treatment to help them through past trauma and losses. It's up to you to work with the child's caseworker to connect children with therapy and the other services and supports the child is entitled to receive.

Requirements differ slightly among states, but foster parents are usually responsible for:

Medical needs, including mental health. Most children who receive foster care payments from their states are automatically eligible for Medicaid.

Educational needs. When a child or youth has to change schools it can create stress and set them back in their academic achievement. Some children have IEPs [individual education plans] and need special education services in their school setting. As the foster parent. you are often the one who is interacting with the school staff and need to keep the child's caseworker up to date with their progress.

Day-to-day needs, such as food, clothing, and school supplies. The state provides reimbursement to foster care parents using standard rates that reflect the child's age and special needs. Each state sets its own rates for reimbursement. If you have questions about reimbursement rates in your state, contact your local foster care agency.

Sleeping arrangements. Most children may share bedrooms. They must have a separate bed and children of the opposite sex can only share a room if they are under an age specified by the state (usually around 6 years old). Some children cannot share bedrooms because of behavior concerns.

Other needs and special circumstances, such as going on vacation. Always check with the child's caseworker first.

Actively working with the child's caseworker and supporting the child for continued contact with his family, including parents, siblings, and other members, whenever it is deemed safe and beneficial to the child.

Where to find help

Lifebook pages provide an opportunity to get to know a child and prepare them for adoption. The IFAPA has created a library of 70 free lifebook pages for parents and caregivers to use.

Family connections booklet (3.5 MB PDF), in which birth parents can share information about a child's medical history, bedtime routines, favorite foods, and other important details.

Pre-placement questionnaire (93 KB PDF), a tool for determining whether a child will be a good fit for your family.

Supporting reunification

As primary caregivers, foster parents play a significant role in working with birth parents and in carrying out the tasks in a child's permanency plan.

Most children placed in your home will have regular, court-ordered visits with their biological parents, other adults whose care they were removed from, and their siblings if they weren't placed together. It's important for you to work with their caseworker to decide the location and time of the visits. The court decides whether the visits will be supervised.

Except in cases of extreme abuse, nearly all children who enter foster care have a primary case plan of returning home. The foster parent plays an important role in helping achieve reunification.

Find tips for preparing for reunification on our blog.

Where to find help

Child Welfare Information Gateway has compiled a list of resources on reunifying families, including a tip sheet offering advice from foster families (243 KB PDF).

When reunification is not an option

If, after a period of time, reunification is not possible, the state will file for legal termination of parental rights or the parents may elect to surrender legal rights to their child in lieu of going through a lengthy termination trial. Either way, a child is not legally freed for adoption until the rights of all legal and biological parents have been legally severed.

Most children who are freed for adoption are adopted either by relatives or non-relative foster parents. The best interest of the child is always taken into account, including attachment and continuity of care. When a child's relatives or foster parents are unable to adopt a child, the agency with custody of the child searches for other adoptive parents, often through local, state, regional, and national adoption exchanges, including AdoptUSKids.

If you want to adopt a child you're fostering whose parental rights have been terminated or are in the process of being terminated, find out how to adopt.

Making time for yourself to prevent burnout

Whether you're a parent or foster parent, it can be hard to juggle the needs of your children with those of your own. Make sure to take time for yourself. Preventing burnout before it happens makes you a better parent all around. "Maintaining a Strong Relationship When Fostering" on our blog offers tips from experienced foster parents about supporting your partner when fostering.

As a rule, children in foster care can be left with a babysitter who is at least 18 years old, although your state may have specific rules and limitations about what requirements the babysitter must meet. Respite care might also be available to you. Respite care is short-term care of a child in order to give the regular caregiver a break. Each state or county has its own procedures for foster parents to get respite care.

Where to find help

For more information about respite care available to you, check with your child's caseworker. You can find a list of respite care resources on the Child Welfare Information Gateway or search for respite providers on the ARCH National Respite Network and Resource Center website.

Professionals and parent-support organizations can find information about developing respite services in our publications Creating and Sustaining Effective Respite Services: Lessons from the Field(1 MB PDF)/ en español (1 MB PDF) and Taking a Break: Creating Foster, Adoptive, and Kinship Respite In your Community(2 MB PDF)/ en español (1.4 MB PDF).

Accessing training and understanding your rights

Even though you have taken the required training to become a foster parent, there is always the opportunity to learn more.

Where to find help

Things to do next:

Talk with one of our foster care and adoption resource specialists. Call 888-200-4005.

Read stories of families who adopted from foster care on our blog.

Subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter providing information and resources to foster and adoptive families.

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Being a foster parent is a rewarding-and challenging-job. Learn about your role and the resources available to help you succeed

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Center for Adoption Support and Education 

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Center for Adoption Support and Education 

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Discover adoption resources for parents and families. Access expert materials today. Empower your journey.

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The Safe Baby is an easy-to-follow resource that will give busy parents - adoptive or otherwise - peace of mind.

Lois Melina has been a voice of wisdom and authority in the world of adoption for decades. We connected with Melina upon the publication of her latest book, The Grammar of Untold Stories,a collection of personal essays, to discuss immigration and international adoption, transracial adoption and the Black Lives Matter movement, and the many ways adoption and infertility continue to surface in her writing.

The day we became a transracial adoptive family was the day we lost our anonymity in our community. We've learned to handle the extra attention with some advance prep before going public, some choice words, and some perspective.

Heritage travel can help your child understand her birth culture, and her origin story. Plan a trip that will work for your family by answering these questions.

Lois Melina has been a voice of wisdom and authority in the world of adoption for decades. We connected with Melina upon the publication of her latest book, The Grammar of Untold Stories,a collection of personal essays, to discuss immigration and international adoption, transracial adoption and the Black Lives Matter movement, and the many ways adoption and infertility continue to surface in her writing.

As she anticipates the release of her documentary Hayden & Her Family, the filmmaker reconnects with the mother of 12 she profiled to discuss special needs adoption, parenting outside "normal" boundaries, and how loving a child changes you.

As I prepared to adopt my second child, I welcomed the home study worker into a perfectly clean and ordered home. The scene that greeted her at her post-placement visit was, well, different-but much more real.

Parents share the questions their children have been asked by friends and classmates over the years, from being in an orphanage to whether they know their "real" parents.

A step-by-step plan to help adoptive parents plan successful outings for children and their friends.

When you lose a parent or grandparent, you mourn the past. When you lose a child, as I lost my 24-year-old daughter, you grieve for the future that will not be. By adopting after this unimaginable tragedy, I wasn't aiming to bury my grief or to start over, but to start a new beginning.

We asked our readers: If you'll be giving your child's birth parents a gift this holiday season, what is it and how will you give it to them? Read the answers from adoptive parents.

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The Safe Baby is an easy-to-follow resource that will give busy parents - adoptive or otherwise - peace of mind. Lois Melina has been a voice of wisdom and authority in the world of adoption for decades.

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Accurate and updated information as of April 2022
In Spanish | en español

Evaluation is an essential beginning step in the special education process for a child with a disability. Before a child can receive special education and related services for the first time, a full and individual initial evaluation of the child must be conducted to see if the child has a disability and is eligible for special education. Informed parent consent must be obtained before this evaluation may be conducted.

The evaluation process is guided by requirements in Part B of our nation's special education law, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). This page will help you learn more about what these requirements are.
Table of Contents
Purposes of Evaluation

The initial evaluation of a child is required by IDEA before any special education and related services can be provided to that child. The purposes of conducting this evaluation are straightforward:

To see if the child is a "child with a disability," as defined by IDEA

To gather information that will help determine the child's educational needs

To guide decision making about appropriate educational programming for the child.

IDEA's Definition of a "Child with a Disability"

IDEA lists different disability categories under which a child may be found eligible for special education and related services. These categories are:

Autism

Deafness

Deaf-blindness

Developmental delay

Emotional disturbance

Hearing impairment

Intellectual disability

Multiple disabilities

Orthopedic impairment

Other health impairment

Specific learning disability

Speech or language impairment

Traumatic brain injury

Visual impairment, including blindness.

To find out more about these disabilities and how IDEA defines them, you'll find Categories of Disability under IDEA right to the point.

Having a disability, though, does not necessarily make a child eligible for special education. Consider this language from the IDEA regulations:

Child with a disability means a child evaluated in accordance with §§300.304 through 300.311 as having [one of the disabilities listed above] and who, by reason thereof, needs special education and related services. [ emphasis added]

This provision includes the very important phrase "...and who, by reason thereof..." This means that, because of the disability, the child needs special education and related services. Many children have disabilities that do not bring with them the need for extra educational assistance or individualized educational programming. If a child has a disability but is not eligible under IDEA, he or she may be eligible for the protections afforded by other laws-such as of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, as amended. It's not uncommon for a child to have a 504 plan at school to address disability-related educational needs. Such a child will receive needed assistance but not under IDEA.

Identifying Children for Evaluation

Before a child's eligibility under IDEA can be determined, however, a full and individual evaluation of the child must be conducted. There are at least two ways in which a child may be identified to receive an evaluation under IDEA:

(1) Parents may request that their child be evaluated. Parents are often the first to notice that their child's learning, behavior, or development may be a cause for concern. If they're worried about their child's progress in school and think he or she might need extra help from special education services, they may call, email, or writeto their child's teacher, the school's principal, or the Director of Special Education in the school district. If the school agrees that an evaluation is needed, it must evaluate the child at no cost to parents.

(2) The school system may ask to evaluate the child. Based on a teacher's recommendation, observations, or results from tests given to all children in a particular grade, a school may recommend that a child receive further screening or assessment to determine if he or she has a disability and needs special education and related services. The school system must ask parents for permission to evaluate the child, and parents must give their informed written permission before the evaluation may be conducted.

Giving Parents Notice

It is important to know that IDEA requires the school system to notify parents in writing that it would like to evaluate their child (or that it is refusing to evaluate the child). This is called giving prior written notice. It is not enough for the agency to tell parents that it would like to evaluate their child or that it refuses to evaluate their child. The school must also:

explain why it wants to conduct the evaluation (or why it refuses);

describe each evaluation procedure, assessment, record, or report used as a basis for proposing the evaluation (or refusing to conduct the evaluation);

where parents can go to obtain help in understanding IDEA's provisions;

what other options the school considered and why those were rejected; and

a description of any other factors that are relevant to the school's proposal (or refusal) to evaluate the child.

The purpose behind this thorough explanation is to make sure that parents are fully informed, understand what is being proposed (or refused), understand what evaluation of their child will involve (or why the school system is refusing to conduct an evaluation of the child), and understand their right to refuse consent for evaluation, or to otherwise exercise their rights under IDEA's procedural safeguards if the school refuses to evaluate.

All written communication from the school must be in a form the general public can understand. It must be provided in parents' native language if they do not read English, or in the mode of communication they normally use (such as Braille or large print) unless it is clearly not feasible to do so. If parents' native language or other mode of communication is not a written language, the school must take steps to ensure:

that the notice is translated orally (or by other means) to parents in their native language or other mode of communication,

that parents understand the content of the notice, and

that there is written evidence that the above two requirements have been met.

Parental Consent

Before the school may proceed with the evaluation, parents must give their informed written consent. This consent is for the evaluation only. It does not mean that the school has the parents' permission to provide special education services to the child. That requires a separate consent.

If parents refuse consent for an initial evaluation (or simply don't respond to the school's request), the school must carefully document all its attempts to obtain parent consent. It may also continue to pursue conducting the evaluation by using the law's due process procedures or its procedures, unless doing so would be inconsistent with state law relating to parental consent.

However, if the child is home-schooled or has been placed in a private school by parents (meaning, the parents are paying for the cost of the private school), the school may not override parents' lack of consent for initial evaluation of the child. As the Department of Education (2006) notes:

...once parents opt out of the public school system, States and school districts do not have the same interest in requiring parents to agree to the evaluation of their children. In such cases, it would be overly intrusive for the school district to insist on an evaluation over a parent's objection. (71 Fed. Reg. at 46635)

Timeframe for Initial Evaluation

Let's move on from the prerequisites for initial evaluation (parent notification and parent consent) to the actual process of initial evaluation and what the law requires. Let us assume that parents' informed consent has been given, and it's time to evaluate the child. Must this evaluation be conducted within a certain period of time after parents give their consent?

Yes. In its reauthorization of IDEA in 2004, Congress added a specific timeframe: The initial evaluation must be conducted within 60 days of receiving parental consent for the evaluation-or if the state establishes its own timeframe for conducting an initial evaluation, within that timeframe. (In other words: Any timeframe established by the state takes precedence over the 60-day timeline required by IDEA.)

The Scope of Evaluation

A child's initial evaluation must be full and individual, focused on that child and only that child. This is a longstanding provision of IDEA. An evaluation of a child under IDEA means much more than the child sitting in a room with the rest of his or her class taking an exam for that class, that school, that district, or that state. How the child performs on such exams will contribute useful information to an IDEA-related evaluation, but large-scale tests or group-administered instruments are not enough to diagnose a disability or determine what, if any, special education or related services the child might need, let alone plan an appropriate educational program for the child.

The evaluation must use a variety of assessment tools and strategies to gather relevant functional, developmental, and academic information about the child, including information provided by the parent. When conducting an initial evaluation, it's important to examine all areas of a child's functioning to determine not only if the child is a child with a disability, but also determine the child's educational needs. This full and individual evaluation includes evaluating the child's:

health,

vision and hearing,

social and emotional status,

general intelligence,

academic performance,

communicative status, and

motor abilities

As IDEA states, the school system must ensure that-

...the evaluation is sufficiently comprehensive to identify all of the child's special education and related services needs, whether or not commonly linked to the disability category in which the child has been classified.

Review Existing Data

Evaluation (and particularly reevaluation) typically begins with a review of existing evaluation data on the child, which may come from the child's classroom work, his or her performance on State or district assessments, information provided by the parents, and so on.

The purpose of this review is to decide if the existing data is sufficient to establish the child's eligibility and determine educational needs, or if additional information is needed. If the group determines there is sufficient information available to make the necessary determinations, the public agency must notify parents:

of that determination and the reason for it; and

that parents have the right to request assessment to determine the child's eligibility and educational needs.

Unless the parents request an assessment, the public agency is not required to conduct one.

If it is decided that additional data is needed, the group then identifies what is needed to determine:

whether your son or daughter has a particular category of disability (e.g., "other health impairment," "specific learning disability");

your child's present levels of performance (that is, how he or she is currently doing in school) and his or her academic and developmental needs;

whether your child needs special education and related services; and

if so, whether any additions or modifications are needed in the special education and related services to enable your child to meet the goals set out in the IEP to be developed and to participate, as appropriate, in the general curriculum.

An example may help crystallize the comprehensive scope of evaluations: Consider a first-grader with suspected hearing and vision impairments who's been referred for an initial evaluation. In order to fully gather relevant functional, developmental, and academic information and identify all of the child's special education and related services needs, evaluation of this child will obviously need to focus on hearing and vision, as well as, cognitive, speech/language, motor, and social/behavioral skills, to determine:

the degree of impairment in vision and hearing and the impact of these impairments on the child;

if there are additional impairments in other areas of functioning (including those not commonly linked to hearing and/or vision) that impact the child's aptitude, performance, and achievement; and

what the child's educational needs are that must be addressed.

With this example, any of the following individuals might be part of this child's evaluation team: audiologist, psychologist, speech-language pathologist, social worker, occupational or physical therapist, vision specialist, regular classroom teacher, educational diagnosticians, or others.

Variety, Variety!

The evaluation must use a variety of assessment tools and strategies. This has been one of the cornerstones of IDEA's evaluation requirements from its earliest days. Under IDEA, it is inappropriate and unacceptable to base any eligibility decision upon the results of only one procedure. Tests alone will not give a comprehensive picture of how a child performs or what he or she knows or does not know. Only by collecting data through a variety of approaches (e.g., observations, interviews, tests, curriculum-based assessment, and so on) and from a variety of sources (parents, teachers, specialists, child) can an adequate picture be obtained of the child's strengths and weaknesses.

IDEA also requires schools to use technically sound instruments and processes in evaluation. Technically sound instruments generally refers to assessments that have been shown through research to be valid and reliable (71 Fed. Reg. at 46642). Technically sound processes requires that assessments and other evaluation materials be:

administered by trained and knowledgeable personnel;

administered in accordance with any instructions provided by the producer of the assessments; and

used for the purposes for which the assessments or measures are valid and reliable.

In conjunction with using a variety of sound tools and processes, assessments must include those that are tailored to assess specific areas of educational need (for example, reading or math) and not merely those that are designed to provide a single general intelligence quotient, or IQ.

Taken together, all of this information can be used to determine whether the child has a disability under IDEA, the specific nature of the child's special needs, whether the child needs special education and related services and, if so, to design an appropriate program.

Consider Language, Communication Mode, and Culture

Another important component in evaluation is to ensure that assessment tools are not discriminatory on a racial or cultural basis. Evaluation must also be conducted in the child's typical, accustomed mode of communication (unless it is clearly not feasible to do so) and in a form that will yield accurate information about what the child knows and can do academically, developmentally, and functionally. For many, English is not the native language; others use sign to communicate, or assistive or alternative augmentative communication devices. To assess such a child using a means of communication or response not highly familiar to the child raises the probability that the evaluation results will yield minimal, if any, information about what the child knows and can do.

Specifically, consideration of language, culture, and communication mode means the following:

If your child has limited English proficiency, materials and procedures used to assess your child must be selected and administered to ensure that they measure the extent to which your child has a disability and needs special education, rather than measuring your child's English language skills.

This provision in the law is meant to protect children of different racial, cultural, or language backgrounds from misdiagnosis. For example, children's cultural backgrounds may affect their behavior or test responses in ways that teachers or other personnel do not understand. Similarly, if a child speaks a language other than English or has limited English proficiency, he or she may not understand directions or words on tests and may be unable to answer correctly. As a result, a child may mistakenly appear to be a slow learner or to have a hearing or communication problem.

If an assessment is not conducted under standard conditions-meaning that some condition of the test has been changed (such as the qualifications of the person giving the test or the method of giving the test)-a description of the extent to which it varied from standard conditions must be included in the evaluation report.

If your child has impaired sensory, manual, or speaking skills, the law requires that tests are selected and administered so as best to ensure that test results accurately reflect his or her aptitude or achievement level (or whatever other factors the test claims to measure), and not merely reflect your child's impaired sensory, manual, or speaking skills (unless the test being used is intended to measure those skills).

What About Evaluation for Specific Learning Disabilities?

IDEA's regulations specify additional procedures required to be used for determining the existence of a specific learning disability. Sections 300.307 through 300.311 spell out what these procedures are. You can learn more by reading of our Building the Legacy training curriculum on IDEA 2004.

It's important to note, though, that IDEA 2004 made dramatic changes in how children who are suspected of having a learning disability are to be evaluated.

States must not require the use of a severe discrepancy between intellectual ability and achievement.

States must permit the use of a process based on the child's response to scientific, research-based intervention; and

States may permit the use of other alternative research-based procedures for determining whether a child has a specific learning disability.

The team that makes the eligibility determination must include a regular education teacher and at least one person qualified to conduct individual diagnostic examinations of children, such as a school psychologist, speech-languate pathologist, or remedial reading teacher.

Determining Eligibility

Parents were not always included in the group that determined their child's eligibility and, in fact, were often excluded. Since the IDEA Amendments of 1997, parents are to be part of the group that determines their child's eligibility and are also to be provided a copy of the evaluation report, as well as documentation of the determination of the child's eligibility.

Some school systems will hold a meeting where they consider only the eligibility of the child for special education and related services. At this meeting, your child's assessment results should be explained. The specialists who assessed your child will explain what they did, why they used the tests they did, your child's results on those tests or other evaluation procedures, and what your child's scores mean when compared to other children of the same age and grade.

It is important to know that the group may not determine that a child is eligible if the determinant factor for making that judgment is the child's lack of instruction in reading or math or the child's limited English proficiency. The child must otherwise meet the law's definition of a "child with a disability"-meaning that he or she has one of the disabilities listed in the law and, because of that disability, needs special education and related services.

If the evaluation results indicate that your child meets the definition of one or more of the disabilities listed under IDEA and needs special education and related services, the results will form the basis for developing your child's IEP. The IEP is discussed in detail in CPIR's pages beginning at All About the IEP.

What Happens if You Don't Agree with the Evaluation Results?

If you, as parents of a child with a disability, disagree with the results of your child's evaluation as obtained by the public agency, you have the right to obtain what is known as an Independent Educational Evaluation , or IEE. An IEE means an evaluation conducted by a qualified examiner who is not employed by the public agency responsible for the education of your child. If you ask for an IEE, the public agency must provide you with, among other things, information about where an IEE may be obtained.

Who pays for the independent evaluation? The answer is that some IEEs are at public expense and others are paid for by the parents. For example, if you are the parent of a child with a disability and you disagree with the public agency's evaluation, you may request an IEE at public expense. "At public expense" means that the public agency either pays for the full cost of the evaluation or ensures that the evaluation is otherwise provided at no cost to you as parents. The public agency may grant your request and pay for the IEE, or it may initiate a hearing to show that its own evaluation was appropriate. The public agency may ask why you object to the public evaluation. However, the agency may not require you to explain, and it may not unreasonably delay either providing the IEE at public expense or initiating a due process hearing to defend the public evaluation.

If the public agency initiates a hearing and the final decision of the hearing officer is that the agency's evaluation was appropriate, then you still have the right to an IEE but not at public expense. As part of a due process hearing, a hearing officer may also request an IEE; if so, that IEE must be at public expense. Whenever an IEE is publicly funded, that IEE must meet the same criteria that the public agency uses when it initiates an evaluation. The public agency must tell you what these criteria are-such as location of the evaluation and the qualifications of the examiner-and they must be the same criteria the public agency uses when it initiates an evaluation, to the extent they are consistent with your right to an IEE. However, the public agency may not impose other conditions or timelines related to your obtaining an IEE at public expense.

Of course, you have the right to have your child independently evaluated at any time at your own expense. (Note: When the same tests are repeated within a short time period, the validity of the results can be seriously weakened.) The results of this evaluation must be considered by the public agency, if it meets agency criteria, in any decision made with respect to providing your child with FAPE. The results may also be presented as evidence at a hearing regarding your child.

What Happens Down the Road?

After the initial evaluation, evaluations must be conducted at least every three years (generally called a triennial evaluation) after your child has been placed in special education. Reevaluations can also occur more frequently if conditions warrant, or if you or your child's teacher request a reevaluation. Informed parental consent is also necessary for reevaluations.

As with initial evaluations, reevaluations begin with the review of existing evaluation data, including evaluations and information provided by you, the child's parents. Your consent is not required for the review of existing data on your child. As with initial evaluation, this review is to identify what additional data, if any, are needed to determine whether your child continues to be a "child with a disability" and continues to need special education and related services. If the group determines that additional data are needed, then the public agency must administer tests and other evaluation materials as needed to produce the data. Prior to collecting this additional information, the agency must obtain your informed written consent.

Or, if the group determines that no additional data are needed to determine whether your child continues to be a "child with a disability," the public agency must notify you:

of this determination and the reasons for it; and

of your right, as parents, to request an assessment to determine whether, for the purposes of services under IDEA, your child continues to be a "child with a disability."

A final note with respect to reevaluations: Before determining that your child is no longer a "child with a disability" and, thus, no longer eligible for special education services under IDEA, the public agency must evaluate your child in accordance with all of the provisions described above. This evaluation, however, is not required before terminating your child's eligibility due to graduation with a regular high school diploma or due to exceeding the age eligibility for FAPE under State law.

Want More Details?

You may find the following sections of our website particularly helpful for understanding the requirements and responsibilities intrinsic to the special education process.

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Evaluating School-Aged Children for Disability

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Accurate and updated information as of April 2022 In Spanish | en español Evaluation is an essential beginning step in the special education process for a child with a disability. Before a child can receive special education and related services for the first time, a full and individual initial evaluation of the child must be conducted to see if the child has a disability and is eligible for special education.

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Support for Parents of Children with Disabilities

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At Parent to Parent USA, when someone asks what we do, we say we empower and support parents, nationwide.

Why? Because we understand being a parent of a child with special needs can be a challenge - we've been there!

The journey is filled with hills and valleys and sometimes feels a little overwhelming. So, we're driven to ensure no parent feels alone. Ever.

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Home - Support for Parents of Children with Disabilities

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Parent to Parent USA provides emotional & informational support for families of children who have special needs.

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Find Your Parent Center | Center for Parent Information and Resources

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The people who work on the CPIR are not just advocates by profession—everyone on our team has a personal stake in the disability community as a parent, sibling, spouse, or otherwise.

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parenting
No matter how much you love your grandkids, raising them comes with many challenges as well as rewards. These guidelines can help you succeed at parenting the second time around.

The challenges of grandparents raising grandchildren

As grandparents, we usually have the benefit of interacting with our grandkids on a level that is once removed from the day-to-day responsibilities of parents. For many of us, grandparenting means a weekend together every now and then, an afternoon play date, an evening babysitting, a summer vacation, or chats on the phone and email exchanges here and there. But when life circumstances change-through divorce, the death of parents, or changes to a parent's work or school-related responsibilities, for example-it often falls to grandparents to assume full- or part-time responsibility for their grandchildren.

Also known as "kinship care," a growing number of grandparents are now taking on the parenting role for their grandchildren, thus foregoing the traditional grandparent/grandchild relationship. This often means giving up your leisure time, the option of traveling, and many other aspects of your independence. Instead, you once again take on responsibility for the day-to-day maintenance of a home, schedules, meals, homework, and play dates. And if it was tragic circumstances that required you to step into the role of a parent, you'll face many other stress factors, such as coping with your own and your grandchildren's grief.

But raising your grandchildren, while challenging, can also be incredibly rewarding. Yes, you may have to deal with colicky babies or moody teenagers, but you'll also experience a much greater connection to your grandchild's world, including their school and leisure activities. You may also find yourself rolling back the years, rejuvenated by the constant companionship of much younger people. And you can derive immense satisfaction from providing your grandchildren with a safe, nurturing, and structured home environment in which to grow and feel loved.

Exploring your rights as a grandparent

Some circumstances make it necessary for grandparents to seek legal help. If there's been a divorce, death of one parent, estrangement, or the suspicion that your grandchildren are undergoing neglect or abuse, you may need to consult a lawyer or advocacy group to clarify your legal rights and ensure access to your grandchildren

Grandparents raising grandchildren tip 1: Acknowledge your feelings

The prospect of raising grandchildren is bound to trigger a range of emotions. Positive emotions, like the love you feel for your grandchildren, the joy in seeing them learn and grow, and relief at giving them a stable environment, are easy to acknowledge. It's more difficult to admit to feelings such as resentment, guilt, or fear.

It's important to acknowledge and accept what you're feeling, both positive and negative. Don't beat yourself up over your doubts and misgivings. It's only natural to feel some ambivalence about childrearing at a time when you expected your responsibilities to be dwindling. These feelings don't mean that you don't love your grandchildren.

What you may feel

Stress and worry - If you've been used to the occasional visit from a grandchild, being back in the saddle full time can feel stressful and overwhelming. You may worry about how you will handle the additional responsibilities and what will happen to the grandkids if something happens to you.
[Read: How to Stop Worrying]
Anger or resentment - You may feel anger or resentment toward the grandchild's parents for leaving you with the responsibility of caring for their child. Or you might be resentful of other friends who are enjoying the retirement you once envisioned.

Guilt - You may feel guilty and responsible for your child's failures as a parent, second-guessing and regretting your own mistakes when you were first parenting.

Grief - There are many losses that come with taking in your grandkids, including the loss of your independence and the easier role of "grandparent," rather than the primary caregiver. You may also be grieving for your child and the difficulties that have led to this situation.

When you start to feel overwhelmed...

Remember that while you may not have the energy you did when you were younger, you do have the wisdom that only comes with experience-an advantage that can make a huge difference in your grandchild's life. Unlike first-time parents, you've done this before and learned from your mistakes. Don't underestimate what you have to offer!

With over 25,000 licensed counselors, BetterHelp has a therapist that fits your needs. It's easy, affordable, and convenient.

Online-Therapy.com is a complete toolbox of support, when you need it, on your schedule. It only takes a few minutes to sign up.

Teen Counseling is an online therapy service for teens and young adults. Connect with your counselor by video, phone, or chat.

Tip 2: Take care of yourself

You probably weren't expecting to be raising kids again at this stage in your life. At times, the physical, emotional, and financial demands may feel overwhelming. That's why it's vitally important that you take care of yourself and get the support you need.

When you're preoccupied with the daily demands of raising grandkids, it's easy to let your own needs fall by the wayside. But taking care of yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. You can't be a good caretaker when you're overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotionally depleted. In order to keep up with your grandkids, you need to be calm, centered, and focused. Looking after your own mental and physical health is how you get there.
[Read: Aging Well]
A healthy you means healthy grandchildren. If you don't take care of your health, you won't be able to take care of your grandchildren, either. Make it a priority to eat nutritious meals, exercise regularly, and get adequate sleep. Don't let doctor's appointments or medication refills slide.

Hobbies and relaxation are not luxuries. Carving out time for rest and relaxation is essential to avoid burnout and depression. Use your "me time" to really nurture yourself. Rather than zoning out in front of the TV (which won't revive you), choose activities that trigger the relaxation response, such as deep breathing, yoga, or meditation.

It's okay to lean on your grandkids for help. Kids are smarter and more capable than we often give them credit for. Even young children can pick up after themselves and help out around the house. Helping out will also make your grandkids feel good.

Support makes all the difference

Studies show that grandparents who cope well with the added stress of raising grandchildren are those who seek out others for support.

Find someone you can talk to about what you're going through. This will give you a chance to work through your feelings and reach an acceptance of the situation. If you deny or ignore these feelings, they will come out in other ways and may affect your relationship with your grandkids.

Look for support groups for grandparents raising grandchildren. Support groups or even phone support can be very helpful in this journey, and it's a good start for making friends in similar situations. Hearing from people who have been there can help both uplift your spirits and give you concrete suggestions for your situation.

Reach out in your community for childcare help. If you are a member of a church, synagogue or other religious organization, you may be able to ask around for available babysitters. Try asking at a library storytime, chatting up other parents at the playground, finding out if any neighbors have a reliable teen available to babysit, or if other parents are interested in a babysitting swap.

Connect with parents with children. Even if you feel like you are from a different generation, the joys and tribulations of raising children can quickly form common bonds. It may take time, but forging friendships with parents of similar aged children can offer camaraderie and help on navigating the maze of issues facing children today.

Tip 3: Realize your grandkids will have mixed feelings too

Moving to a new home is never easy, even in the best of circumstances. When children are dealing with the loss of regular contact with their parent or parents, the move is even harder. It will take some time for your grandchildren to adjust, and in the meantime, they may act especially contrary and difficult. And if the children have suffered from emotional neglect, trauma, or abuse, those wounds will not disappear just because they are now in a safe place. They will need time to heal.

Your grandkids may resent being separated from their parent and wish to return, even if their home situation was dangerous or abusive. Don't take this personally. The parent-child bond is powerful. Even if the children are old enough to understand that they're better off with you, they will still miss their parent and struggle with feelings of abandonment.

Your grandkids' feelings may come out in many ways, including behavior. They may lash out with aggressive or inappropriate behavior, or they may withdraw and push you away.

No matter their behavior, your grandkids need your comfort and support. If you start to get angry or upset, put yourself in their head. Picture what they've been through, and the confusion, mistrust, and fear they're probably feeling.

Remember that children often act out in a safe place. While it may feel like your grandchildren don't love or appreciate you sometimes, their behavior actually means they feel safe enough to express frightening emotions.

When grandkids first arrive, they may be on their best behavior. Don't be too discouraged if, after a brief "honeymoon" phase, they start to act out. This doesn't necessarily mean you're doing a bad job. As mentioned previously, this can be a sign that they finally feel secure enough to vent their true feelings.

Tip 4: Focus on creating a stable environment

While it will take your grandkids time to adjust to their new living arrangement, there are steps you can take to make the transition easier. Above all, your grandchildren need to feel secure. Children thrive in an environment that is stable and predictable.

Establish a routine. Routines and schedules help make a child's world feel safe. Set a schedule for mealtimes and bedtimes. Create special rituals that you and your grandchildren can share on weekends or when getting ready for bed.

Encourage their input in their new home. Let your grandkids help pack and move in their belongings to the extent that they're able for their age. Encourage them to decorate their new room and arrange it as they'd like. Having some control will make the adjustment easier.

Set clear, age-appropriate house rules and enforce them consistently. Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. Loving boundaries tell the child that he or she is safe and protected.

Make sure that each grandchild has a private space. If grandchildren are sharing a bedroom, get creative: use a divider to partition off a private area in a bigger room, erect a playhouse in the backyard, or set up a tent in the family room.

Offer your time and attention. You can be a consistent, reassuring presence for your grandkids. Try to make time to interact with them at the beginning of the day, when they come home from school, and before bed.

Tip 5: Encourage open and honest communication

Communicating openly and honestly with your grandchildren is one of the best things you can do to help them cope with their new situation. It's especially important to take the time to really listen to your grandkids. In this difficult time, they need an adult they can go to with their questions, concerns, and feelings.
[Read: Effective Communication]
Plan regular times when you sit and talk to each other, free from TV, phones, games, and other distractions.

Encourage your grandchildren to talk about their feelings, both good and bad. Try to listen without judging or dismissing their feelings.

Help your grandkids learn to identify their emotions. For example, if your grandchild seems upset, you might say, "You look sad. Is something bothering you?"

Young children communicate through play. Young children may not be able to verbalize how they feel, but will express themselves through their play.

It's okay to say, "I don't know." You don't have to have an answer for everything. If you don't know when mommy's coming home, for example, be honest about it. Don't evade the question or lie.

How much should you tell young grandchildren?

When deciding what to tell your grandchildren about the situation, it's important to consider their age and developmental skills. The following tips may help:

Avoid telling the child too much. Many children are simply too young to understand the whole story. When grandparents tell a young child all of the details of the situation, they may create more harm than good. Too much information can be confusing, scary, and overwhelming for the child.

Avoid telling the child too little or nothing at all. Kids are smart. They will pick up tidbits about their situation, even if the details are not discussed directly. If children learn about what's going on from someone else, they could feel hurt, deceived, and confused. They may avoid asking you questions or talking to you about other important concerns because they think certain topics are "off limits."

Never twist the facts or lie to the child. Even very young children know the difference between the truth and a lie. They often piece together information, but then are afraid to talk about the truth. Some people may twist the facts in an effort to protect the child. But that approach often backfires. When children are told untruths about a situation, they may become very confused, angry, and hurt. The best strategy is to be honest with your grandchildren, at their level of understanding. Your grandchildren will learn the importance of trust and honesty in relationships.

Source: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, University of Wisconsin-Extension

It is not always possible for children to remain in contact with their parents, and at times, it may not be in a child's best interest. But in general, it is healthy for your grandchildren to maintain relationships with their parents, especially if they may live with them again. If meeting in person isn't possible, you can encourage contact in other ways, including phone calls, video chats, cards and letters, and email.

Making visits with parents as smooth as possible

Don't put your grandchild in the middle. Try to set aside any feelings of anger or disappointment you have toward your grandchild's parent. Avoid venting issues or saying critical things about the parent in front of your grandchild. And don't make your grandchild feel guilty about spending time with their parent. This can be confusing and distressing for the child.

Communicate and cooperate with your grandchild's parent. Do what you can to smooth the relationship and make the parent feel a part of the child's life. Share information about the child's school, hobbies, and friends. Make sure the parent has the child's schedule and contact information.

Make visits part of your grandchild's routine. Contact with parents will be less stressful for children if they know what to expect. If possible, plan visits well in advance and put them on a regular schedule. Talk with the parent ahead of time, so everyone's expectations for the visit are clear. It's best if both parents and grandparents enforce the same rules.

Be sensitive to your grandchild's feelings. It's important to talk with your grandchild about how they feel about parental contact. Even when kids are looking forward to a visit or call, it can bring up many feelings, including uncertainty and nervousness. Kids may worry that their parent doesn't love them anymore, or that they won't have anything to talk about. Be there to reassure them.

Help your grandchild deal with disappointment. Sometimes, visits don't go well or the parent doesn't show up. Vent to a friend if you need to, but avoid the temptation to say angry or hurtful things about the parent in front of your grandchild, as this won't make him or her feel better. Instead, talk with your grandchild about what happened and how they feel about it.
Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A. and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - If you are just starting to care for your grandchild, this guide will help you find your way. Covers legal issues, family challenges, and how to find support. (AARP)

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Series - Articles covering topics such as reasons for your grandchild's misbehavior and ways to build strong families. (University of Florida IFAS Extension)
Finding support
In the U.S.: State Fact Sheets - Find resources for grandparents raising grandchildren in your state. (AARP)

In the UK: Advice for kinship carers - Advice, support, and a helpline for grandparents raising grandchildren in the UK. (Grandparents Plus)

In Australia: Grandparents - Links - Regional and national support resources for grandparents in Australia, including a helpline. (Family Court of Australia)

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parenting As grandparents, we usually have the benefit of interacting with our grandkids on a level that is once removed from the day-to-day responsibilities of parents. For many of us, grandparenting means a weekend together every now and then, an afternoon play date, an evening babysitting, a summer vacation, or chats on the phone and email exchanges here and there.

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Designed for parents and caregivers of 2 to 4-year-olds. Learn about encouraging good behavior and decreasing misbehavior using proven strategies like positive communication, structure and rules, clear directions, and consistent discipline and consequences.

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The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reviewed extensive research to identify the best approaches to parenting and talked to the experts-both recognized leaders in the parenting field and parents themselves-to create articles, videos, and activities parents and caregivers can use.

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While ADHD is believed to be hereditary, effectively managing your child's symptoms can affect both the severity of the disorder and development of more serious problems over time. Early intervention holds the key to positive outcomes for your child. The earlier you address your child's problems, the more likely you will be able to prevent school and social failure and associated problems such as underachievement and poor self-esteem that may lead to delinquency or drug and alcohol abuse. Although life with your child may at times seem challenging, as a parent you can help create home and school environments that improve your child's chances for success.

Here are some ways to get started.

Don't waste your limited emotional energy on self-blame. ADHD is a disorder in certain areas of the brain and is inherited in the majority of cases. It is not caused by poor parenting or a chaotic home environment, although the home environment can make the symptoms of ADHD better or worse.

Learn all you can about ADHD. While a great deal of information on the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD is available, not all of it is accurate or based on scientific evidence. It is up to you to be a good consumer and learn to distinguish the accurate information from the inaccurate. How can you sort out what will be useful and what will not? In general, it is good to be wary about ads claiming to cure ADHD. Currently, there is no cure for ADHD, but you can take positive steps to decrease its impact. In addition, pay attention to the source of the information. If you're using the Internet, stick with reputable websites such as government (for example CDC), nonprofit (such as CHADD) or university resources (those that end in .edu).

Make sure your child has a comprehensive assessment. To complete the diagnostic process, make sure your child has a comprehensive assessment that includes medical, educational and psychological evaluations (involving input from your child's teacher) and that other disorders that either mimic or commonly occur with ADHD have been considered and ruled out.
How to help your child succeed at school

Become an effective case manager. Keep a record of all information about your child. This includes copies of all report cards, teacher notes, disciplinary reports, evaluations and documents from any meetings concerning your child. You might also include information about ADHD, a record of your child's prior treatments and placements and contact information for the professionals who have worked with your child.

Form a team that understands ADHD and be the team captain. Meetings at your child's school should be attended by the principal's designee as well as a special educator and a classroom teacher that knows your child. You, however, have the right to request input at these meetings from others that understand ADHD or your child's special needs. These include your child's physician, the school psychologist, and the nurse or guidance counselor from your child's school. If you have consulted other professionals, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, educational advocate or behavior management specialist, the useful information they have provided should also be made available at these meetings. A thorough understanding of your child's strengths and weaknesses and how ADHD affects him or her will help you and members of the team go on to develop an appropriate and effective program that takes into account his or her ADHD.

Learn all you can about ADHD and your child's educational rights. The more knowledge you have about your child's rights under the two education laws, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, the better to maximize his or her success. Each state has a parent technical assistance center that can help you learn more about your child's rights (visit http://www.parentcenterhub.org/ptacs/ to find the center in your state).

Become your child's best advocate. You need to represent and protect your child's best interest in school situations, both academic and behavioral. Become an active part of the team that determines what services and placements your child receives in an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or Section 504 plan. See Education for Individuals with ADHD for more information.

Communicate regularly. Adopt a collaborative attitude when working with your child's team-after all, everyone has the same goal, to see your child succeed! Let your child's teachers know if there are some major changes going on in your family since your child's behavior can be affected. Invite the teachers to contact you with any issues or concerns before they become a problem. Having open lines of communication between you and the school will help your child.

How to make life at home easier

Join a support group. Parents will find additional information, as well as support, by attending local CHADD meetings where available. You can find the nearest chapter to your home using the chapter locator.

Seek professional help. Ask for help from mental health professionals, particularly if you are feeling depressed, frustrated or exhausted. Helping yourself feel less stressed will benefit your child as well.

Work together. It is important that all of the adults that care for your child (parents, grandparents, relatives and babysitters) agree on how to handle your child's problem behaviors. Working with a professional, if needed, can help you better understand how to work together to support your child.

Learn the tools of successful behavior management. Behavioral techniques have been widely established as a key component of treatment for children with ADHD. Parent training will teach you strategies to change behaviors and improve your relationship with your child. CHADD offers the Parent to Parent Program, which provides basic education on many facets of ADHD. You can also identify parent training programs in your community through your local parent information and resource center (www.parentcenterhub.org/ptacs/).

Find out if you have ADHD. Since ADHD is often inherited, many parents of children with ADHD discover that they have ADHD when their child is diagnosed. Parents with ADHD may need the same types of evaluation and treatment that they seek for their children in order to function at their best. ADHD in the parent may make the home more chaotic and affect a parent's ability to be proactive rather than reactive.

Parent training will help you learn to:

Provide clear, consistent expectations, directions and limits. Children with ADHD need to know exactly what others expect from them. They do not perform well in ambiguous situations that don't specify exactly what is expected and that require them to "read between the lines." Working with a professional can help narrow the focus to a few specific behaviors, help you set limits and consistently follow through with consequences.

Set up an effective discipline system. Parents should learn proactive-not reactive-discipline methods that teach and reward appropriate behavior and respond to misbehavior with alternatives such as time outs or loss of privileges. Communicate with the other people who care for your child and work to be as consistent with behavioral techniques across settings and caregivers as possible.

Help your child learn from his or her mistakes. At times, negative consequences will arise naturally out of a child's behavior. However, children with ADHD have difficulty making the connection between their behaviors and these consequences. Parents can help their child with ADHD make these connections and learn from his/her mistakes.

How to boost your child's confidence

Set aside a daily special time for you and your child. Constant negative feedback can erode a child's self-esteem. A special time, whether it's an outing, playing games or just time spent with your child in positive interaction, can help fortify your child against assaults to self-worth.

Notice your child's successes, no matter how small. Make an effort to notice when your child is paying attention well or doing what s/he is supposed to be doing. Tell your child exactly what she/he did well. This can improve your child's self-esteem and teach him/her to notice gradual improvements, rather than being too hard on him/herself.

Tell your child that you love and support him/her unconditionally. There will be days when you may not believe this yourself. Those will be the days when it is even more important that you acknowledge the difficulties your child constantly faces and express your love. Let your child know that you will get through both the smooth and rough times together.

Assist your child with social skills. Children with ADHD may be rejected by peers because of hyperactive, impulsive or aggressive behaviors. Parent training can help you learn how to assist your child in making friends and learning to work cooperatively with others.

Identify your child's strengths. Many children with ADHD have strengths in certain areas such as art, athletics, computers or mechanical ability. Build upon these strengths, so that your child will have a sense of pride and accomplishment. Make sure that your child has the opportunity to be successful while pursuing these activities and that his strengths are not undermined by untreated ADHD. Also, avoid, as much as possible, targeting these activities as contingencies for good behavior or withholding them, as a form of punishment, when your child misbehaves.

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While ADHD is believed to be hereditary, effectively managing your child's symptoms can affect both the severity of the disorder and development of more serious problems over time. Early intervention holds the key to positive outcomes for your child. The earlier you address your child's problems, the more likely you will be able to prevent...

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Children with Autism have unique challenges that can make potty training all the more daunting for parents and caregivers. For this reason, traditional approaches to toilet training may not always be effective. This is where applied behavioral analysis (ABA) comes in.

Children with Autism have unique challenges that can make potty training all the more daunting for parents and caregivers. For this reason, traditional approaches to toilet training may not always be effective. This is where applied behavioral analysis (ABA) comes in.

by Anna Kaplan, MD

Dr. Anna Kaplan is a writer and a licensed physician. She completed a 3-year residency and board certification in Family Practice and was in active practice for 15 years. A parent herself, Anna still remembers the "I know how to use the potty" song that her children sang.

Potty training a child with autism can be daunting for parents and caregivers because of the unique challenges the child faces, and it can be difficult to find potty training resources that cover this specific topic. For this reason, traditional approaches to toilet training may not always be effective. This is where applied behavioral analysis (ABA) comes into your potty training program.

What is ABA Training?

Applied behavior analysis is an evidence based intervention that brings about significant, positive behavioral change primarily through positive reinforcement. ABA is currently viewed as one of the most safe and effective therapies for children with autism spectrum disorder. It can be used in a structured, classroom environment or in a natural setting, such as in the home or somewhere out in the community. Many parents and therapists have used ABA effectively to potty train children with autism. This is usually done using discrete trial training, an ABA technique that breaks a single skill down into simplified and structured steps with each step of the process being rewarded individually.

Implementing the Steps

For potty training the steps may be something like this:

1. Go to the bathroom.

2. Close the door.

3. Undress from the waist down.

4. Sit on the toilet.

5. Eliminate.

6. Wipe.

7. Flush.

8. Get dressed.

9. Turn on faucet.

10. Put soap in hands.

11. Wash soap off hands.

12. Dry hands.

Experts recommend that a child has the capacity to complete each individual step of the process before beginning potty training. For example, if your child still doesn't have the motor skills to undress himself, then he may not be ready for potty training just yet. It is also important to make sure your child doesn't have any medical issues that could interfere with potty training.
Potty Training Program

The first step in implementing a discrete trial training potty training program for a child with autism is to collect some data. Start by checking your child's diaper every 45 minutes to an hour just to see if he has eliminated. Record this data until you get an idea of how often your child is going. Once you've determined the child's average potty interval, take that number and multiply it by .75 for your timer interval. For example, if your child eliminates every 40 minutes, you would set a timer every 30 minutes. When the timer goes off, you should have some kind of communication to indicate that it's time to go the bathroom. This could be saying "potty time," or if the child is nonverbal, try using a sign for toilet. Whatever signal you decide to use, make sure it is consistent and that all caregivers use it routinely. Next, take your child to the bathroom, follow the appropriate steps, and allow them to sit on the toilet for 3-5 minutes even if they don't eliminate. It is important to do this in a step by step process and come up with simple rewards that you can give for each completed step. Many parents choose to use a potty training chart and will allow the child to collect points to work towards a bigger reward. Typically, children are given more points for bowel movements than urination as they are more difficult. That said, choose a reward system that works best for your child. Just saying a simple "Good job" is also a great reinforcer that most parents or therapists will use after the child completes each individual step. Potty training your autistic child with this method can be quite time consuming. You may end up spending a good portion of your day in the bathroom. But, the good news is, after several days of this, your child will probably start to pick up on it and you can space the potty timer intervals out longer.

Additional Tips for Potty Training a Child with Autism

Here are some more expert tips to improve your potty training program:

Focus on one step at a time. For example, teach eliminating before wiping, and wiping before flushing. Do your part and help out with the steps your child hasn't learned yet.

If your child is a visual learner, consider using cue cards for each step.

Put your child in underwear. If he's wearing underwear, he's more likely to feel wetness and be uncomfortable, which will motivate him to do something about it. Some parents choose to put a diaper over the underwear to make accidents less messy.

If your child isn't going to the bathroom often enough, give him lots of water to encourage elimination.

When potty training a child with Autism, it is important to keep everything as consistent as possible. Use the same timer and alarm sound. Keep the reinforcers consistent. Don't make sudden changes in the routine.

Make it fun!

If you try this method consistently and you still struggle to make any potty training progress, consider hiring a professional board certified behavior analyst (BCBA) to help you implement a successful ABA program to potty train your autistic child.
Learn More About Other Potty Training Methods

Additional Potty Training Resources

Autism Roadmap: Toilet Training National Autistic Society: Toilet Training

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Potty Training a Child with Autism using ABA

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Children with Autism have unique challenges that can make potty training all the more daunting for parents and caregivers. For this reason, traditional approaches to toilet training may not always be effective. This is where applied behavioral analysis (ABA) comes in.

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While ADHD is believed to be hereditary, effectively managing your child's symptoms can affect both the severity of the disorder and development of more serious problems over time. Early intervention holds the key to positive outcomes for your child. The earlier you address your child's problems, the more likely you will be able to prevent school and social failure and associated problems such as underachievement and poor self-esteem that may lead to delinquency or drug and alcohol abuse. Although life with your child may at times seem challenging, as a parent you can help create home and school environments that improve your child's chances for success.

Here are some ways to get started.

Don't waste your limited emotional energy on self-blame. ADHD is a disorder in certain areas of the brain and is inherited in the majority of cases. It is not caused by poor parenting or a chaotic home environment, although the home environment can make the symptoms of ADHD better or worse.

Learn all you can about ADHD. While a great deal of information on the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD is available, not all of it is accurate or based on scientific evidence. It is up to you to be a good consumer and learn to distinguish the accurate information from the inaccurate. How can you sort out what will be useful and what will not? In general, it is good to be wary about ads claiming to cure ADHD. Currently, there is no cure for ADHD, but you can take positive steps to decrease its impact. In addition, pay attention to the source of the information. If you're using the Internet, stick with reputable websites such as government (for example CDC), nonprofit (such as CHADD) or university resources (those that end in .edu).

Make sure your child has a comprehensive assessment. To complete the diagnostic process, make sure your child has a comprehensive assessment that includes medical, educational and psychological evaluations (involving input from your child's teacher) and that other disorders that either mimic or commonly occur with ADHD have been considered and ruled out.
How to help your child succeed at school

Become an effective case manager. Keep a record of all information about your child. This includes copies of all report cards, teacher notes, disciplinary reports, evaluations and documents from any meetings concerning your child. You might also include information about ADHD, a record of your child's prior treatments and placements and contact information for the professionals who have worked with your child.

Form a team that understands ADHD and be the team captain. Meetings at your child's school should be attended by the principal's designee as well as a special educator and a classroom teacher that knows your child. You, however, have the right to request input at these meetings from others that understand ADHD or your child's special needs. These include your child's physician, the school psychologist, and the nurse or guidance counselor from your child's school. If you have consulted other professionals, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, educational advocate or behavior management specialist, the useful information they have provided should also be made available at these meetings. A thorough understanding of your child's strengths and weaknesses and how ADHD affects him or her will help you and members of the team go on to develop an appropriate and effective program that takes into account his or her ADHD.

Learn all you can about ADHD and your child's educational rights. The more knowledge you have about your child's rights under the two education laws, the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act, the better to maximize his or her success. Each state has a parent technical assistance center that can help you learn more about your child's rights (visit http://www.parentcenterhub.org/ptacs/ to find the center in your state).

Become your child's best advocate. You need to represent and protect your child's best interest in school situations, both academic and behavioral. Become an active part of the team that determines what services and placements your child receives in an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or Section 504 plan. See Education for Individuals with ADHD for more information.

Communicate regularly. Adopt a collaborative attitude when working with your child's team-after all, everyone has the same goal, to see your child succeed! Let your child's teachers know if there are some major changes going on in your family since your child's behavior can be affected. Invite the teachers to contact you with any issues or concerns before they become a problem. Having open lines of communication between you and the school will help your child.

How to make life at home easier

Join a support group. Parents will find additional information, as well as support, by attending local CHADD meetings where available. You can find the nearest chapter to your home using the chapter locator.

Seek professional help. Ask for help from mental health professionals, particularly if you are feeling depressed, frustrated or exhausted. Helping yourself feel less stressed will benefit your child as well.

Work together. It is important that all of the adults that care for your child (parents, grandparents, relatives and babysitters) agree on how to handle your child's problem behaviors. Working with a professional, if needed, can help you better understand how to work together to support your child.

Learn the tools of successful behavior management. Behavioral techniques have been widely established as a key component of treatment for children with ADHD. Parent training will teach you strategies to change behaviors and improve your relationship with your child. CHADD offers the Parent to Parent Program, which provides basic education on many facets of ADHD. You can also identify parent training programs in your community through your local parent information and resource center (www.parentcenterhub.org/ptacs/).

Find out if you have ADHD. Since ADHD is often inherited, many parents of children with ADHD discover that they have ADHD when their child is diagnosed. Parents with ADHD may need the same types of evaluation and treatment that they seek for their children in order to function at their best. ADHD in the parent may make the home more chaotic and affect a parent's ability to be proactive rather than reactive.

Parent training will help you learn to:

Provide clear, consistent expectations, directions and limits. Children with ADHD need to know exactly what others expect from them. They do not perform well in ambiguous situations that don't specify exactly what is expected and that require them to "read between the lines." Working with a professional can help narrow the focus to a few specific behaviors, help you set limits and consistently follow through with consequences.

Set up an effective discipline system. Parents should learn proactive-not reactive-discipline methods that teach and reward appropriate behavior and respond to misbehavior with alternatives such as time outs or loss of privileges. Communicate with the other people who care for your child and work to be as consistent with behavioral techniques across settings and caregivers as possible.

Help your child learn from his or her mistakes. At times, negative consequences will arise naturally out of a child's behavior. However, children with ADHD have difficulty making the connection between their behaviors and these consequences. Parents can help their child with ADHD make these connections and learn from his/her mistakes.

How to boost your child's confidence

Set aside a daily special time for you and your child. Constant negative feedback can erode a child's self-esteem. A special time, whether it's an outing, playing games or just time spent with your child in positive interaction, can help fortify your child against assaults to self-worth.

Notice your child's successes, no matter how small. Make an effort to notice when your child is paying attention well or doing what s/he is supposed to be doing. Tell your child exactly what she/he did well. This can improve your child's self-esteem and teach him/her to notice gradual improvements, rather than being too hard on him/herself.

Tell your child that you love and support him/her unconditionally. There will be days when you may not believe this yourself. Those will be the days when it is even more important that you acknowledge the difficulties your child constantly faces and express your love. Let your child know that you will get through both the smooth and rough times together.

Assist your child with social skills. Children with ADHD may be rejected by peers because of hyperactive, impulsive or aggressive behaviors. Parent training can help you learn how to assist your child in making friends and learning to work cooperatively with others.

Identify your child's strengths. Many children with ADHD have strengths in certain areas such as art, athletics, computers or mechanical ability. Build upon these strengths, so that your child will have a sense of pride and accomplishment. Make sure that your child has the opportunity to be successful while pursuing these activities and that his strengths are not undermined by untreated ADHD. Also, avoid, as much as possible, targeting these activities as contingencies for good behavior or withholding them, as a form of punishment, when your child misbehaves.

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While ADHD is believed to be hereditary, effectively managing your child's symptoms can affect both the severity of the disorder and development of more serious problems over time. Early intervention holds the key to positive outcomes for your child. The earlier you address your child's problems, the more likely you will be able to prevent...

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Last updated September 2023

About

Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a condition which includes difficulties with attention, increased activity, and difficulties with impulsivity. Estimates show that up to 10 percent of school-aged children and about 4 percent of adults have ADHD. It is usually first identified when children are school-aged, although it also can be diagnosed in people of all age groups. In an average classroom of 30 children, research suggests that at least one will have ADHD.

No single biological cause for ADHD has been found. But most research points to genes inherited from parents as the leading contributor to ADHD. ADHD often runs in families.

The good news is that there are safe and effective treatments for children and adolescents with ADHD. Treatment is most effective when it begins early and when intervention is individualized to the needs of the child.
Choose a topic: Glossary of Symptoms: ADHD
Frequently Asked Questions

1. What is ADHD?

2. How common is ADHD?

3. What causes ADHD?

4. Common signs and symptoms of ADHD?

5. What are the types of treatment for ADHD?

6. When is it okay to stop taking ADHD medication?

7. What are the consequences of untreated ADHD?

Treatment Resources

Parents' Medication Guide

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) and the American Psychiatric Association (APA) created the Parents' Medication Guide series.

Included in these guides are new research on effective treatments for child and adolescent ADHD. The goal of the guide is to help parents make informed decisions about getting the best care for a child or adolescent with ADHD.

Facts for Families

AACAP's Facts for Families provide concise up-to-date information on issues that affect children, teenagers, and their families. Below are links to Facts for Families with information that may be useful to families of children with ADHD.

Video Clips

ADHD: A Guide for Families
Many children have restless behaviors that are typical of ADHD. When fidgeting, poor concentration, or impulsiveness begins disrupting performance in school, at home, or in relationships with other children, the cause might be ADHD. To be a good advocate for your child, you need to learn as much as you can about ADHD.

The following are chapters from the ADHD: A Guide for Families book:

Clinical Resources

Information about Choices in Psychotherapy Treatment

Treatment for ADHD comes in the form of medication and psychotherapy treatment. Both can be important elements of a comprehensive treatment plan. There are several psychotherapies that are helpful for children with ADHD. We have the most evidence that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and behavioral management techniques can be helpful for children with ADHD.
Learn more about the types of psychotherapy that are available to help children and adolescents with mental illness here.
Information about Choices in Medication
Learn more about how psychiatric medication is used to treat children and adolescents here Learn more about the types of psychiatric medication that are available to treat children and adolescents with mental health disorder here. .
Vanderbilt Diagnostic Parent Rating Scale
Parents who have a child or adolescent with ADHD, or any mental health condition, are often left facing difficult decisions regarding medication.

View up-to-date information about advances in psychopharmacological treatment for mood disorders here.

ADHD Rating Scales

Two rating scales which can be used by clinicians to help identify ADHD and monitor symptoms are the SWAN rating scale and the SNAP-IV rating scale. These scales are completed separately by a parent and a teacher.

The SWAN Rating Scale has 30 items and includes ADHD symptoms and symptoms of oppositional defiant disorder. Download the SWAN Rating Scale.

The SNAP-IV Rating Scale contains 90 items and includes symptoms of ADHD and also ODD and aggression. Download the SNAP-IV Rating Scale.

Research and Training

AHRQ review of ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: Diagnosis and Treatment in Children and Adolescents

The abstract for the Multimodal Treatment Study of Children with ADHD is an NIMH sponsored research study that examined close to 600 children with ADHD and studied how they responded to different treatments. Click here to find a brief description of results from this study:
Multimodal Treatment Study of Children with ADHD

Learn more about the Multimodal Treatment Study of Children with ADHD and results from this large research study.

Books

AACAP's books: and Your Adolescent offer easy-to-understand and comprehensive information on the emotional development and behavior of children from infancy through the teen years.

A Bird's-Eye View of Life with ADD and ADHD: Advice from Young Survivors
Chris A. Zeigler Dendy and Alex Zeigler

ADHD and Me: Forty Years in a Fog
Ken Patterson

For more bibliotherapy resources, visit Living with Mental Illness: Books, Stories and Memoirs.

Getting Help

Getting help is the most important thing that parents can do for children and adolescents with a mental health concern. Parents should try to find a mental health professional with advanced training and experience evaluating and treating children and adolescents with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Also, it is important to find a comfortable match between your child, your family, and the mental health professional.

A child and adolescent psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of mental health disorders that affect children and adolescents. Child and adolescent psychiatrists have completed four years of medical school, and at least three years of residency training in medicine, neurology, or general psychiatry with adults, and two years of additional training in psychiatric work with children and adolescents.

Find a child and adolescent psychiatrist in your area.
Services In School For Children With Special Needs: What Parents Need To Know
To learn about accessing child and adolescent psychiatrists and other mental health professionals, please read Where To Find Help For Your Child.

Oftentimes, parents are unsure when to seek a referral to a child and adolescent psychiatrist. For more information on when to seek a referral, please read this article.

Learn more about understanding mental health insurance, please read AACAP's Facts For Families on Mental Health Insurance.

Related Websites

This Resource Center was made possible through funding from the Lasdon Foundation.

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Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a condition which includes difficulties with attention, increased activity, and difficulties with impulsivity.

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Guide

Children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) find it unusually difficult to concentrate on tasks, to pay attention, to sit still, and to control impulsive behavior. This ADHD guide offers parents the information you need to understand the behaviors associated with the attention disorder to help you make effective decisions for your child about symptoms, diagnosis and treatment.

Children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) find it unusually difficult to concentrate on tasks, to pay attention, to sit still, and to control impulsive behavior. This guide offers parents the information you need to understand the behaviors associated with the disorder and make effective decisions for your child about symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment.

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, is a condition that makes it unusually difficult for children to concentrate, to pay attention, to sit still, to follow directions, and to control impulsive behavior. While all young children are at times distractible, restless, and oblivious to parents' and teachers' instructions, kids with ADHD behave this way much more often than other children their age. And their inability to settle down, focus, and follow through on tasks in age-appropriate ways makes it very hard for them to do what's expected of them at school. It can also lead to conflict at home and difficulty getting along with peers.

Symptoms of ADHD are divided into two groups: inattentive behaviors and hyperactive and impulsive behaviors.

Inattentive symptoms of ADHD:

Makes careless mistakes

Is easily distracted

Doesn't seem to be listening when spoken to directly

Has difficulty following instructions

Has trouble organizing

Avoids or dislikes sustained effort

Is forgetful, always losing things

Hyperactive or impulsive symptoms of ADHD:

Fidgeting or squirming, trouble staying in one place or waiting his turn

Excessive running and climbing

Trouble playing quietly

Extreme impatience

Always seems to be "on the go" or "driven by a motor"

Excessive talking or interrupting, blurting out answers

Some children exhibit only the first group ADHD of symptoms, and some exhibit only the latter. But the majority of those with an ADHD diagnosis have a combination of both, which can make it very difficult for them to function in school, and in other activities, and can create a lot of conflict at home.

How Are ADD and ADHD Different?

ADD, or attention-deficit disorder, is an older term for the disorder we now call ADHD, or attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. It was called ADD up until 1987, when the word "hyperactivity" was added. Some people still use the old term, ADD, out of habit, or because it's a more familiar term than ADHD. Some use it to refer to kids with ADHD who aren't hyperactive.

Can a Child Who's Not Hyperactive Have ADHD?

Yes. Kids who have trouble focusing but are not unusually restless or impulsive have a more inattentive type ADHD. They tend to be diagnosed later because they are less prone to disruptive or problematic behavior that comes to the attention of teachers and parents. But kids who have inattentive symptoms may start to struggle in the middle of elementary school, when it becomes increasingly difficult for them to keep up.

Why Can Kids With ADHD Concentrate on Some Things? What Is ADHD Hyperfocus?

While ADHD is called an attention deficit disorder, experts say what's really disordered is the child's ability to control and direct what he's paying attention to. So many kids with ADHD are perfectly capable of intense focus on things that are very exciting to them, like video games, but they can't maintain that kind of focus on things that aren't immediately rewarding, like schoolwork or putting on their shoes or going to bed.

That intense concentration, sometimes called hyperfocus, is also the reason kids with ADHD often get upset when asked to stop doing something they are engaged in, like a favorite activity at school or playing a video game. They have what experts call an inability to "attention switch," which can cause a lot of conflicts with adults.

And speaking of video games: Because they are constantly stimulating and rewarding, experts say they can induce a kind of trance state in a child who has trouble regulating her attention. In that case, it's less a matter of hyperfocus than what one calls "screen suck."

What Is Executive Functioning?

Executive functions are the self-regulating skills that we all use to accomplish tasks, from getting dressed to doing homework. They include:

Planning

Organizing time and materials

Making decisions

Shifting from one situation to another

Controlling emotions

Learning from past mistakes

Most kids with ADHD have deficits in some executive functions, though not all children with executive function issues have ADHD.

Does ADHD Affect Kids Outside of School?

Yes. Their inattention and impulsivity also affects their friendships, extra-curricular activities, and family life. They may have trouble making and keeping friends because they interrupt constantly, and are prone to blowing up when they don't get their way. It's not uncommon for children with severe ADHD to be blackballed from playdates because they can't be counted on to behave. Kids with ADHD may have trouble playing on teams because they find it hard to focus and follow the rules.

At home, they may find themselves on a collision course with parents and siblings because they don't follow instruction, are impulsive, and melt down when they are asked to transition from some activity they enjoy to mealtime, homework time, or bedtime.

By the time kids with ADHD reach adolescence, their impulsivity can be dangerous, making them prone to car accidents, unsafe sex, and other risky behaviors.

Why Are Kids With ADHD Often Defiant or Demonstrate Disruptive Behavior?

Defiance and emotional outbursts are very common in kids with ADHD, though they are not, themselves, symptoms of ADHD.

Kids who have ADHD tend to become defiant when they are expected to do things that are hard for them, especially when it means stopping something that's pleasurable-like playing a video game. So things like homework, going to bed, getting dressed, and coming to dinner can become battlegrounds. These situations are difficult for them to tolerate because of inherit deficits in paying attention, tolerating a boring situation, reining in impulses, transitioning from a fun activity, and controlling their activity level. Since these situations are really challenging for them, they may try to avoid them. Unfortunately when it comes to ADHD parenting, the avoidance strategies that these kids typically use are disruptive behavior, tantrums, arguing, defiance, and power struggles.

ADHD symptoms change as children get older, and it's estimated that about a third of children who are diagnosed with the attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder will no longer meet the criteria by the time they reach young adulthood.

In general, hyperactivity declines as kids move through elementary school, and inattention becomes the primary problem for them as the schoolwork they are expected to do becomes more demanding and their parents and teachers are not so closely supervising their activities. In adolescence, impulsivity also becomes a big concern, as it leads to car accidents, unsafe sex, and other risky behavior.

Children who are most likely to have ADHD that continues into adulthood are those whose symptoms are very severe in childhood, and those who also have another psychiatric disorder, like depression or anxiety.

When is ADHD diagnosed?
Because the symptoms of ADHD can also be the result of other issues, such as anxiety, depression, or trauma, a professional diagnosing your child should carefully rule out other possible reasons for his behavior.

A child should receive an ADHD diagnosis only if he exhibits a variety of inattentive or impulsive behaviors

At a level that is abnormal for children his age

Over an extended period

In more than one setting-both at home and at school, for instance.

These behaviors must also be interfering significantly with schoolwork or social interaction.

How is an ADHD diagnosis done?
To make an accurate diagnosis, a clinician should collect information from several people who have observed your child, including you, other caregivers, and teachers.

Parents and teachers should be asked to fill out a rating scale, such as the SNAP, the Child Behavior Checklist, or Connor's Checklist, to capture an accurate assessment of the frequency of symptoms over a period of time. A child may be given a test called a Continuous Performance Test, which rates her ability to complete a repetitive task over a period of time and can give a more complex picture of her ADHD symptoms.

A child should not be diagnosed with ADHD just based on a parent's or teacher's report that she is overly active or distracted.

Who can diagnose ADHD?
ADHD can be diagnosed by any doctor or mental health professional, including:

Pediatricians

Psychiatrists

Clinical psychologists

Social workers

Many school psychologists are also qualified to diagnose ADHD, but in most cases they're not authorized by their school districts to do so. Instead, school psychologists will often help identify that a child is showing symptoms of ADHD, determine if their symptoms hinder their school functioning, and make recommendations for needed academic supports. They can also often refer families to an outside mental health professional for the diagnosis.

In the majority of cases, only medical doctors like psychiatrists can prescribe medication to treat ADHD. (Some states allow psychologists to prescribe, and nurse practitioners and physician's assistants often can, as well.)

The overwhelming majority of ADHD diagnoses are made by pediatricians, though parents should be aware that many pediatricians don't have advanced training in psychiatric disorders, and an ADHD diagnosis should not be made in a quick office visit, based solely on a report that a child is having trouble concentrating in school. Inattention can be caused by other things, and giving a child ADHD medication won't address his problems if he doesn't have ADHD.

ADHD Medication Treatment

What is the most effective ADHD treatment?
Research shows that a combined approach of medication and behavioral therapy is the most effective treatment.

For moderate to severe cases of ADHD the first line of treatment is usually medication. ADHD medications called psychostimulants, which increase the amount of certain chemicals in the brain, help children focus and curb impulsivity and hyperactivity.

Behavioral therapies help kids rein in impulsive behavior and be better organized.

What are the kinds of stimulant medications for ADHD?
If a child has ADHD, studies show there's an over 80% chance that he will respond to stimulant medication with a significant reduction in symptoms.
There are two main classes of stimulant medications:

Methylphenidate-based medications
Ritalin, Methylin, Concerta, Metadate, Daytrana Patch

Dextroamphetamine-based medications
Adderall, Vyvanse, Dexedrine

Of the children who respond to stimulants, half will respond equally well to both groups of medications, and the other half will respond better to one or the other. There are many different release formulas for stimulant medications, which make them effective for different periods of time.

Immediate-release formulas
are effective for about 4 hours

Extended-release formulas
last as long as 14 hours.

Within the extended-release group, medications vary in the doses they deliver morning and afternoon. Some deliver 50 percent in the first half of the day and 50 percent in the second; others deliver just 30 percent in the first half and 70 percent in the second.

Finding the right dose
Since different children metabolize medication in different ways, the goal is to find the formula that delivers an effective dose over a desirable period of time for your child. Getting the right dosage for a particular child takes several weeks of trial. The clinician normally increases the dosage gradually until it becomes effective. If your child experiences undesirable side effects, it may mean that the dosage is too high, or the medication isn't right for her.

It's important to note that some children respond differently to the two different stimulants used in these medications-methylphenidate and dextroamphetamine. Changing from one to the other, or even to a different release formula of the same basic medicine, can help reduce or eliminate side effects.

Once an effective dosage is established, your child should be monitored periodically to make sure it's still meeting her needs as she grows.

Side effects of stimulant medications
Stimulant medications can be very effective in reducing symptoms of ADHD, but some kids do experience adverse side effects. They include:

Sleep issues
If medication is interfering with a child's sleep, it's because the medication is still active at bedtime.
If he's taking a short-acting formula, it may mean that he is taking a second or third dose too late in the day. If he's taking medication that lasts 12 or 14 hours, it may help to try one that's not quite as long-acting. Sleep issues caused by the medication tend to get better over time, so it's worth giving kids four to six weeks to see if they adjust. Trouble going to sleep may also be caused by kids being too stimulated at bedtime.

Are there non-stimulant medications for ADHD?
There are two types of medications that aren't stimulants that can help alleviate symptoms of ADHD. They are useful for kids who don't respond to stimulant medica-tions, or who experience adverse side effects from them.

Atomoxetine (sold as Strattera) is in a class of drugs called norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors.
Norepinephrine is a natural substance in the brain that is needed to control behavior.

Clonidine (Catapres, Nexicon) and guanfacine (Tenex) are called alpha-adrenergic agonists.
These medications were developed to lower high blood pressure, but at the doses given to kids for ADHD they rarely affect blood pressure.Both clonidine and guanfacine come in a 24-hour-release version (Kapvay and Intuniv), and they are sometimes used to treat tics.

Finally, omega fatty acids can also be helpful for ADHD, though not as helpful as stimulants or these other medications.

Should children stop taking ADHD medication during holidays and the summer?
Since children with ADHD don't need to perform academically during the summer or on extended holidays, parents sometimes seize the opportunity to take kids off their regular medication regimen, especially if they are experiencing side effects. Other parents avoid an interruption, fearing that their children's behavioral problems will rebound.

One reason to stay with treatment year-round is that ADHD doesn't only affect a child's performance in school. During the summer, children still have to get along with family and friends and function effectively in group activities like sports and camp.

However, if you are concerned that taking a stimulant medication may be slowing your child's growth, a summer break can allow him to catch up. And if you are concerned that he is underweight due to suppressed appetite, a summer without medication can help him put on some pounds.
For more on the pros and cons of a drug holiday, click here.

Behavioral Treatment for ADHD

What are the behavioral treatments for ADHD?
Behavior therapies do not eliminate the core symptoms of ADHD, but they can be very helpful in teaching children to manage them better. For example, children who have trouble finishing things and staying organized can learn techniques for completing tasks, keeping track of assignments, and getting their schoolwork done.

There's also a kind of behavior therapy for ADHD called parent training that can help reduce behavior problems that stem from ADHD in children. Parent-child interaction therapy and other forms of parent training teach parents how to work with their kids to cultivate good behaviors while minimizing impulsive or inattentive ones. Stimulated by more positive reinforcement, kids who have been out of control can learn to rein in their behavior and enjoy more rewarding relationships with parents and teachers.

As children get older, they often begin working more one-on-one with clinicians to strengthen their organizational skills and develop effective behavioral plans.

When a child is old enough, cognitive behavioral therapy can help teach her to control her behaviors by understanding how her thoughts and feelings influence them.
For more on behavioral therapy for kids with ADHD click here.
What can we do to help kids strengthen executive functions?
To bolster kids with weak skills in these areas, learning specialists teach a mix of specific strategies and alternative learning styles that complement or enhance a child's particular abilities.

With elementary school children, the educational specialist usually works with parents and kids together, to establish routines and tools to use to get work done successfully and with minimal conflict. For instance:

Checklists can be useful for anything from getting out of the house on time in the morning to doing homework after school to the bedtime routine. Since the steps necessary for completing a task often aren't obvious to kids with ADHD, defining them clearly ahead of time, and posting them prominently, makes a task less daunting and more achievable.

Assigning a time limit for each step, particularly if it is a bigger, longer-term project, helps kids manage their time and avoid underestimating how long it will take to do something.

Using a planner is essential for kids with ADHD who struggle to remember things like homework assignments.

A rewards chart at home, as well as at school, can help motivate kids who are easily distracted and struggle to acquire new skills.
For more information on adolescents with ADHD, click here.

This guide was last reviewed or updated on May 2, 2023.

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Children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) find it unusually difficult to concentrate on tasks, to pay attention, to sit still, and to control impulsive behavior. This ADHD guide offers parents the information you need to understand the behaviors associated with the attention disorder to help you make effective decisions for your child about symptoms, diagnosis and treatment.

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If you are an adult with ADHD, or a parent of an child with ADHD, you work hard to overcome the challenges ADHD brings to your life. You read books and this website, and you go online to stay abreast of research. Still, you can't have too many ADHD resources.

One resource you might not have thought about is near at hand: you, and people like you. Lots of practical information about ADD is stored in the brains of those who have the condition. Tapping into this brain trust through an ADHD support group can be a godsend.

Meeting and talking with other ADHD adults or parents of older attention deficit children - those who have solved the problems you're facing this moment - gives you hope. Participants learn - for the first time - that they are not alone.

With a little effort, you can find a support group that addresses your need - whether it's your own loneliness or your ADHD child's anxiety or learning disability. Two national ADD support and advocacy organizations, CHADD and Attention Deficit Disorder Association, sponsor regional networking and educational events. The Learning Disabilities Association of America also offers local meetings.

In addition, many schools offer support programs and networking opportunities for parents of children with special needs. Check with your school counseling office or PTA for information. Ask your child's doctor or your therapist if she or a colleague runs a group.
[Read: Putting a Face on ADHD]
If you can't find a group that meets your needs, start your own. Recruit members by putting up posters or flyers in schools, the library or church, and at local stores. Talk with ADHD organizations and pediatricians. Be specific about the group's purpose - a support group for parents of ADHD children will attract a different membership than one for ADD spouses.

Although you don't need a professional to run a group, you will need a committed person (or persons) to organize it. They will have to schedule meetings and speakers and, perhaps, moderate.

While face-to-face support groups are the most powerful way to connect, online groups may work better for you. As ADHD moms know, nothing is more precious in their lives than time. If you have downtime only in brief intervals, there are many avenues of support online. Join ADDitude's facebook group to connect with readers around the country. There are virtual communities supporting every aspect of ADD. A quick search on Google will turn up several.

Joining a support group will probably increase your patience with your ADHD child, spouse, or yourself. Most of all, support groups provide you with a team of concerned people ready to give you a healthy dose of vitamin C - vitamin "Connect"!

Save chatter for the right time. Some ADHD support groups schedule casual social periods along with group sharing, while others provide opportunities to mingle only before and after the official meeting.

Balance personal disclosures. Observe one or two meetings before jumping in. Sharing too much may make other members uncomfortable - sharing too little can make you seem standoffish.

Be supportive. Aim for a three-to-one ratio - three responses to others' comments for every personal comment you make.
[Up Next: No Judgement. No Guilt. Just ADHD Support and Understanding.]

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ADHD support groups connect you with other ADHD adults or parents of ADHD children. Learn how to locate or start an ADHD support group, and find out how you'll benefit from joining one.

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Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), although not a learning disability, can affect one's ability to succeed. Individuals with ADHD often have trouble paying attention, sitting still, or finishing tasks. Read more about the prevalence, symptoms, and treatment of ADHD.

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Resources for understanding anxiety in children and teenagers — the symptoms, the kinds of anxiety, and the best treatments for anxiety.

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Anxiety Disorders Resource Center
Last updated February 2020

All children experience anxiety. Anxiety in children is expected and normal at specific times in development. For example, from approximately age 8 months through the preschool years, healthy youngsters may show intense distress (anxiety) at times of separation from their parents or other caregivers with whom they are close. Young children may have short-lived fears, (such as fear of the dark, storms, animals, or strangers). Anxious children are often overly tense or uptight. Some may seek a lot of reassurance, and their worries may interfere with activities. Parents should not discount a child's fears. Because anxious children may also be quiet, compliant and eager to please, their difficulties may be missed. Parents should be alert to the signs of severe anxiety so they can intervene early to prevent complications.

For additional information see:
AACAP Book Your Adolescent Anxiety and Avoidant Disorders
Glossary of Symptoms and Mental Illnesses Choose a topic:

1. How much anxiety is "normal" for a child?

2. What are the signs and symptoms of anxiety?

3. What causes anxiety disorders?

4. How are anxiety disorders treated?

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) and the American Psychiatric Association (APA) developed Anxiety Disorders: Parents' Medication Guide. This guide is designed to help individuals make informed decisions about treating anxiety disorders in children and adolescents.

Included in this guide is new research on effective treatments for child and adolescent anxiety. The goal of the guide is to help parents make informed decisions about getting the best care for a child or adolescent with anxiety.

(back to top)
AACAP's Facts for Families provide concise up-to-date information on issues that affect children, teenagers, and their families.

Dr. John Walkup discusses how to help teenagers with anxiety in a 2-minute video from the Child Mind Institute

Additional Video Clips:

What Are Appropriate Worries? - Youth Anxiety Center

Protecting Your Child - Youth Anxiety Center

When Anxious Children Become Anxious Adolescents

Part-1 John Walkup, MD
Anxiety in typically and developmentally disabled children and adolescents" by John Walkup, Vice Chair, Department of Psychiatry and Director. Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian.

Part-2 John Walkup
nxiety in typically and developmentally disabled children and adolescents" by John Walkup, Vice Chair, Department of Psychiatry and Director. Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian.

Part 3 John Walkup, MD
Anxiety in typically and developmentally disabled children and adolescents" by John Walkup, Vice Chair, Department of Psychiatry and Director. Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian.

AACAP Practice Parameters
Considered resources for experts, mental health professional and physicians, AACAP's practice parameters were developed to guide clinical decision making. They show the best treatments and the range of treatment options available to families living with childhood and adolescent mental illness.Considered resources for experts, mental health professional and physicians, AACAP's Practice Parameters were developed to guide clinical decision making. They show the best treatments and the range of treatment options available to families living with childhood and adolescent mental illness.
Workbooks

Additional Clinical Resources

Parent-based treatment as efficacious as cognitive behavioral therapy for childhood anxiety: A randomized noninferiority study of supportive parenting for anxious childhood emotions.
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry:
March 2019 - Volume 58, Issue 3, pp 307-388

Cognitive-Behavioral Psychotherapy for Anxiety and Depressive Disorders in Children and Adolescents: An Evidence-Based Medicine Review
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry:
June 2015 - Volume 54 - Issue 6 - pp 454-463

A Randomized, Placebo-Controlled Study of Duloxetine for the Treatment of Children and Adolescents With Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry:
April 2015 - Volume 54 - Issue 4 - pp 283-293

Anxiety Disorders in Children and Adolescents: A Review of the Past 10 Years
Journal of Amer Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: Special Articles: PD onlh.

A review of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy in anxiety and depression:
Cognitive-Behavioral Psychotherapy for Anxiety and Depressive Disorders in Children and Adolescents: An Evidence-Based Medicine Review
Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry:
August 2004 - Volume 43 - Issue 8 - pp 930-959

A recent important study comparing medication and CBT in treating anxiety:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Sertraline, or a Combination in Childhood Anxiety
New England Journal of Medicine, Volume 359:2753-2766 December 25, 2008 Number 26
The use of imaging Technology and Physiological Measurements to Investigate Changes in Biological Stress Systems and Brain Development in Maltreated Children with PTSD
IACAPAP Textbook of Child and Adolescent Mental Health
IACAPAP

Your Adolescent - Anxiety and Avoidant Disorders
AACAP

What You Must Think of Me: A First Hand Account of One Teenager's Experience with Social Anxiety Disorder
Emily Ford

For more bibliotherapy resources, visit Living with Mental Illness: Books, Stories and Memoirs.

Not all children who have experienced anxiety will need treatment. However, treatment can help minimize anxiety. To obtain help, parents should try to find a mental health professional who has advanced training and experience with evaluating and treating children, adolescents, and families. It is important to find a comfortable match between your child, your family, and the mental health professional.

A child and adolescent psychiatrist is a physician who specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of disorders of thinking, feeling and behavior that affect children, adolescents, and their families. Child and adolescent psychiatrists have completed four years of medical school, at least three years of residency training in medicine, neurology, or general psychiatry with adults, and two years of additional training in psychiatric work with children, adolescents, and their families.

Click here to find a child and adolescent psychiatrist in your area.

Facts for Families:
Providing up-to-date information on issues that affect children, teenagers, and their families. These fact sheets are relevant to anxiety disorders.
Related Support Group Web Sites
Calm ( Apple) | ( Android)

Worry Time ( Apple) | ( Android)

Breathe ( Apple)

Triangle of Life ( Apple) | ( Android)

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Anxiety Disorders Resource Center Last updated February 2020 All children experience anxiety. Anxiety in children is expected and normal at specific times in development. For example, from approximately age 8 months through the preschool years, healthy youngsters may show intense distress (anxiety) at times of separation from their parents or other caregivers with whom they are close.

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25 Fun Mindfulness Activities for Children & Teens (+Tips!)

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Fun mindfulness activities for kids to teach them about mindfulness. Enjoy!

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Probably the number one search query that leads people to my site is a variation on

"how do I teach mindfulness to kids?"

Which is

because our children need mindfulness.

We ask them to

and

... and we don't really teach them how to actually DO either of those things!

I've written several posts about how we can share mindfulness with our kids... and today I am compiling a list of my articles plus a bunch of other resources so you have all sorts of helpful information all in one place.

Enjoy - and have fun!
10 Ways to Teach Mindfulness to Kids
Helping Kids Feel All the Feelings - Inside and Out! How to Breathe... For Kids! Mind in a Jar Mindful Mantras for Kids Teaching Mindfulness to Teens: 5 Ways to Get "Buy-in" Baby Buddhas: 5 Strategies for Teaching Mindfulness to Kids Mindful Parenting: Practicing Mindfulness with Your Children
BeeYOUtiful: A Storybook and Mindfulness Activity Guide for Busy Little Bees by Kristi Kremers - gorgeous illustrations, and right now the Kindle version is FREE!

A Pebble for Your Pocket: Mindful Stories for Children and Grown-ups by Thich Nhat Hanh: lovely stories for kids, including "Who is the Buddha?" and "Present Moment Wonderful Moment"

Sitting Still Like a Frog: Mindfulness Exercises for Kids (and Their Parents) by Eline Snel: I especially love the "weather report" practice, and it comes with a guided practice CD

A Handful of Quiet: Happiness in Four Pebbles by Thich Nhat Hanh: teaches four basic meditations, using pebbles to symbolize a flower, a mountain, water, and space

The Mindful Child by Susan Kaiser Greenland

Mindful Movements by Thich Nhat Hanh - great for some mindful exercises you can do with kids (includes a DVD)

Mindfulness for Teen Anxiety: A Workbook for Overcoming Anxiety at Home, at School, and Everywhere Else by Christopher Willard: great for parents of older kids!

Planting Seeds: Practicing Mindfulness with Children by Thich Nhat Hanh

Dan Siegel has excellent resources for teaching mindfulness (or mindsight) to kids, especially for teens. I really like his "Healthy Mind Platter" - you can find it here

7 Fun Ways to Teach Your Kids Mindfulness from Mind Body Green

Check out the Resources page from Mindful Schools - they have an extensive list of children's books about mindfulness

You'll find excellent resources on MindfulKids, the blog from Plum Village

This article from the Guardian Teacher Network has a TON of helpful links

Mindful Teachers has lesson plans and helpful practices for teaching breathing, compassion, and emotional awareness

This four-page pdf from Act on Purpose has a brief introduction to mindfulness, plus activities for kids

Annaka Harris has several activities with included audio on her site

Mindful Families has a "menu" of mindful activities that families can practice together

And who doesn't love games? Check out these 5 Mindful Games for Kids!

*****
Whew! Have fun!
*****

Do you have any resources to add? Share in the comments below!

*****

This post contains affiliate links - if you click on a product and place an order, I will earn a small commission, at no cost to you.

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Resources for Teaching Mindfulness to Your Children - Left Brain Buddha

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TONS of resources for teaching mindfulness to little ones -- all in one place! Enjoy (mindfully, of course).

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This content contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Inside: Mindfulness, or the ability to be fully present and aware, is an important skill for children to develop. In this post, learn how to make a glitter jar to promote mindfulness and calm in your home or classroom.
He stormed into my office, face hot and fists balled. I wasn't surprised, as his teacher had called and told me he was on the way. Without speaking, he reached for a blue, glittery jar on the table, shook it, then set it back down. With a huff, he fell into a nearby bean bag chair.

I quietly continued working. He wasn't ready to talk... yet.
Related: Anger Management Skills for Kids
How a Glitter Jar Can Help Kids Control Their Feelings

When kids are stressed, sad, or angry, the amygdala's natural fight, flight, or freeze response kicks in, making rational decision-making nearly impossible.

Mindfulness gives kids space and time to calm down and pay attention to what is going on in their body and environment. Regularly practicing mindfulness reduces stress and increases wellness and self-control.

Glitter jars are a useful mindfulness tool at home and school. Watching the glitter swirl to the bottom of the jar gives kids time to calm down and regain control.
Related: Pink Glitter Jar Instructions
How to Make a Glitter Jar

It's easy and fun to make glitter jars with kids. It's a lovely project for kids who are learning about emotions and mindfulness.

At home, I've found glitter jars to be a very useful tool for managing behavior and time. After evening baths, I shake the jars and tell the boys, "Pajamas on and teeth brushed by the time the glitter settles." They race against the glitter, and usually win! This is good for our family because the high-pitched ring of traditional kitchen timers upsets and startles my boys.

As an Elementary School Counselor, I use glitter jars with small groups of kids who are learning about feelings, anger management, or mindfulness. I keep one in the center of my table so when emotional kids visit my office, they can flip the jar and relax on a nearby cushion.
Related: Calming Jar
To Make This Calm Down Jar You Will Need

Directions for Glitter Jar

1. After gathering supplies, pour 1/2 cup of distilled water into the jar. We used 16-ounce glass mason jars, but plastic water bottles would work as well (and should be used for kids who are prone to throwing objects when they are angry).

Why distilled water? Unlike tap water, distilled water contains no contaminants or minerals and will help keep your glitter jars mold-free.

2. Invite kids to pour 1/2 cup of glitter glue or clear glue into the jar. If you use our exact ingredients and recipe, it will take about 2 minutes for the glitter to settle in the jar.

3. If you are choosing to do so, add 1-2 teaspoons of extra glitter to the jar.

4. Fill up the remainder of the jar with distilled water.

5. Use a hot glue gun to squeeze a ring of glue around the lid of the jar. Press the lid onto the jar and secure with the metal ring.

6. Shake the jar well to distribute the glitter. (It took many shakes and a rest overnight to convince the glue to disperse completely.)

How to Use a Glitter Jar

Before you give a glitter jar to a child, you must teach them how to use it. Invite your child to sit down comfortably. Encourage them to shift their gaze to the swirling glitter, breathing deeply in and out as they watch it sink to the bottom of the jar.

Next, invite them to notice the calm feeling moving through their body as they breathe. Perhaps their feet feel heavy and warm, and that feeling is moving up towards their shoulders. As they breathe, ask them to notice how their heartbeat feels steady and their body temperature feels just right. All the while breathing in...and out. As the glitter settles and the water clears, so will their thoughts, feelings, and body.

As the boy in my office watched the glitter, his breathing deepened and became more rhythmic. His expression softened as his fists relaxed. After 10 minutes, he asked for permission to get a drink.

He was ready to talk.

Save this Post

Don't forget to save this post on Pinterest for later! Be sure you are following along with Fireflies and Mud Pies here.

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How a Glitter Jar Can Help Kids Control Their Feelings

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Mindfulness is an important skill for kids to develop. Learn how to make a glitter jar to promote mindfulness and calm in your home or classroom.

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Anxiety & Insecurity

This month's printable was created to support and encourage small steps of preparation to help our children feel ready for school. The printable is blank so you can tailor the steps to your child.

Suggestions:
​- Think of small steps that you can take together with your child to help them feel more prepared.

- Write or have your child draw each step. Discuss the steps together.

- If you have more than 6 steps, simply print out multiple copies of the free printable.

- Adapt the steps to the needs of your child. Anything that can help them practice something new or feel more prepared when showing up will be helpful.

- Helping them feel more prepared will also help them feel a little more in control over a new situation.

- Look at the sample for examples of the types of steps you can include.

- Use as needed.

A visual reminder that there is always something we can do to move past our fears or to be able to carry them in a way that affects us less. This visual reminder is meant as a conversation starter to discuss different tools, strategies, exercises and practices that help us grow.

Suggestions:
​- Use as a visual reminder not to let our fears stop us from being who we are and want to be.
​- A discussion tool to discuss fears, anxiety, worries and the things that stop us from moving forward.
​- A way to discuss different steps and strategies that can help with fears.
​- A way to explore different tools that can help with managing fears.
​- Use at home, school or as part of therapy.
​- Use with Sam's Big Secret and discuss what tools from the stories you can use to help with your fears.
​- Discuss as needed.

To use as a discussion tool with children after they have faced a difficult situation. Have them write different things they can do (or what they can focus on) to keep their hearts open. For example, after being bullied a child might want to close up. This tool can remind them that they have family that loves them, that they are courageous and brave, that they have people who love them, that they only need to be themselves...

Suggestions:
- To use when discussing difficult events that are happening and to help children feel some control over how they emotionally handle these events.
- To use when dealing with sadness or loss.
- To use when something difficult happens and we have to pick ourselves up and continue.
- To use as part of therapy.

When fear tosses us around, these anchors serve to bring us back to safety. They remind us that we are always in control of our life choices and help us stop the negative energy flow.

These anchors are ours to use and deploy as needed. They are the affirmations we say to ourselves, the songs we sing to calm us down, the story we remind ourselves of, the hug we seek, the rituals that remind us that we are always bigger than our fears.

Suggestions:
- Write down 3 things that you can do to help with anchoring and calming down when our fears take over.
- Turn into bookmarks and keep in books as reminders.
- Keep next to your bed.
- Use at exam time or during high stress time to remind children that they have anchors to bring them back to safety.
- Use as part of therapy.

This activity was inspired by a video made by Marie Forleo and the words that came along with it. " Your attention's like a flashlight. Shine it out on others, and you lose sight of your own fear." While she used it to talk about confidence in business, the concept of the flashlight is a great visual that children and teens can easily understand and relate to when it comes to focusing on fear and letting it stop us. So with their permission, we decided to create a tool that shares the wisdom of the flashlight.

Suggestions:
- Use in class when children feel overwhelmed and cannot let go of the fear. Have them make a list of what they can do to shine the flashlight in a different direction.
- Discuss a situation and what happens in each column.
- Use as a conversation starter in therapy to discuss how focusing and obsessing on our fears keeps us stuck and what are other options may be.
- Use as you need.
- Keep the visual as a reminder that what we focus on expands.

Not everyone deals with anxiety and stress in the same way.

For some children it can feel overwhelming and paralyzing.
Lessons lose themselves in the chaos of the brain and everything feels frozen. Inspired by some fun buttons I received (from London), the idea behind this tool is to create a little pouch of reminders to be used during high stress time. Add your own wisdom to the collection, keep them close during tests or use them with other anxiety management techniques.

Suggestions:
- Assemble in the classroom and fill with exam and anxiety-management strategies.
- Keep as a reminder that there is always something that can be done when we feel like things are out of our control.
- Add to your pouch by putting images that comfort you.
- Use as an inspiration - Find a small envelope and create your own pouch and list of suggestions.

A simple way to explore the concept of taking things one step at a time and focusing on what is in front of us.

Suggestions:- Use in class when children feel overwhelmed and have a hard time focusing one task at a time.
- Create your own strategies by using the blank sheet provided.
- Use to minimize anxiety by writing down the next step to follow. Discuss the importance of only focusing on one step at a time.

Who is part of your circle of love?

Suggestions:
- Sometimes, it helps to be reminded that we are not alone. These cards can be filled and decorated and they will look awesome on that totally empty fridge of yours.
- Have fun with these and create a visual reminder of LOVE.
- Use as cards to provide emotional safety and security for children who need that reminder that there are people they can count on.
- Use as information cards for children with special needs to identify certain key people in their lives.
- Use in the classroom as a fun activity to help student realize that they have people around them that love them.

Have fun and join or create a circle of love!

Learning to look at our worries within a context that empowers us is a great way to stimulate our ability to deal with our fears and regain our emotional control.
Especially useful to help a child move past a specific worry.
Example of use (in cases of severe allergies where a child has developed anxiety:

My biggest fear about this: That I will die or that I never found out what was in the food and it was too late.
- What happened instead: Someone reminded me that I should ask about the ingredients and when I did, I made a different choice.
- What this says about me: It says that I am surrounded by people who are as alert as I am.
- The steps I'm taking to remain in control of my emotions & fears: I ask questions and make better choices, I carry my epipen with me, I make sure people know of my allergies. When I feel my mind getting ahead, I
breathe slowly and bring myself back to the present by reminding myself that I have a parachute.
When I feel out of alignment, I remind myself that: I control my emotions and choose what I wish to focus on. I remind myself that I have steps in place and that I do not need to worry about possibilities/
My affirmation about this: I stay in the present and make choices that support my body and heart.

Deep breathing helps children relax and focus their thoughts.Teach your child to breathe with this fish blowing bubbles example.

Suggestions:
-Talk about times when this type of breathing can be helpful and be as specific as possible.
- Explain how the more you practice breathing, the easier it will be.
- Keep the visual reminders in places where they can have multiple effects or close to anxiety triggers.
- Practice before bed time or when child is feeling relaxed.
- Come up with a phrase that can be used to encourage the child to breathe.

Make this love pouch together to keep the absolute truth about your
love. It's a nice way to give them something to center themselves when they forget.

Suggestions:
- Use for fun reminders of how you love each other. Add your own notes to make it personal.
- Use when distance will prevent you from saying the words in person.
- Use with nieces and nephews or grandchildren so they are reminded that they always have your love.
- Use with children who are very sensitive and get easily affected by simple things like you raising your voice or getting upset.
- Use with children who have a hard time understanding and dealing with emotions. This is something they can go back to when they are ready to deal with these emotions.
- Use with children who have faced hard challenges and may not feel that they are loved.
- Use however you can think of, and share so we can all learn from each other.

A simple activity to help children visualize themselves protected from negative thoughts. A great way to stimulate conversations.

A worry clock to help keep the worries from becoming constant dwellers in the brain. By acknowledging the need to share one's worries and allowing special time for it, children learn that it's okay to have worries and to want to share them, but those thoughts and feelings should not stop them from doing other enjoyable things

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Suggestions:
- When you need a visual reminder to explain the idea of the worry clock in a way that is easier for a
child to understand.
- To place on a door or fridge as a reminder.
- For the child to decide when they wish to talk to you about their worries.
- For you to have a vocabulary that the child can relate to (example: Honey, we've already done worry time. Is this something that you can let go of for now while you are in play time? Can we come back to it when worry time comes again?)

The legend of the dreamcatcher talks about the Spider Woman of the Ojibwe people.
In order to protect her children - who were now spread over the land - asked mothers and grandmothers to weave magical webs. These would filter bad dreams and only keep good thoughts from entering. (Source: wikipedia)
This dreamcatcher is a reminder to have faith in our dreams.
The dreams that fill our nights and our hearts.

Suggestion:
- Use as visual reminder.
- Read and talk about dreamcatchers. Explain their meaning.
- Use to help with nightmares or to help children feel centered when it comes to their own dreams.

We all know that reaching for the stars is a little easier after a good night's rest. It acknowledges emotional and physical needs, allowing children to have more control over letting go.

Suggestions:
- Print and keep in a place by the bed where it can be seen.
- Add some steps to your regular routine by sharing your ideal sleep routine together.
- When you hear the words, "I can't sleep!" You will be able to ask them what components of their getting ready to sleep needs are missing.

Use with sleep motivator cards as encouragement punch cards.

These were created for a little girl who I was told was having a very hard time with routine, transitions and change. These can be used at home or at school and will help create and reinforce new habits.

Suggestions:- Use with class or home routine when starting a new routine or introducing a change.- Use the encouragement card to acknowledge effort.- Use in class with anxious childrenand children who need that visual reassurance and consistency.

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Anxiety & Insecurity This month's printable was created to support and encourage small steps of preparation to help our children feel ready for school. The printable is blank so you can tailor the steps to your child. Suggestions: ​- Think of small steps that you can take together with your child to help them feel more prepared.

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Depression | Anxiety and Depression Association of America, ADAA

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264 million people worldwide live with depression.* Our World Data In 2017, around 17.3 million adults age 18 or older in the U.S. had experienced at least one major depressive episode in the last year (6.7% of adults in the U.S.).* ( National Institute of Mental Health) Losing a loved one, getting fired from a job, going through a divorce, and other difficult situations can lead a person to feel sad, lonely and scared.

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Why we need to talk about depression | Kevin Breel

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NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is the nation's largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness.

Helping Those In Need

NAMI started as a small group of families gathered around a kitchen table in 1979 and has blossomed into the nation's leading voice on mental health. Today, we are an alliance of more than 600 local Affiliates and 49 State Organizations who work in your community to raise awareness and provide support and education that was not previously available to those in need.

gathered around a kitchen table

NAMI State Organizations and NAMI Affiliates across the country

NAMI HelpLine transitions to

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Home | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

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NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is the nation's largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness.