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They work

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Speed Limit is 13♞

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I'm so stressed out I've been eating mints all day.

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I'm so stressed out I've been eating mints all day.

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Looks way cooler

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How many honey-producing hogs will a dairy cow produce?

How many rabbits can a goat breed?

How many times a rabbit or a pig throws a jingle?

You guessed it. After all the geese, turkeys, piggies, chickens, turkeys and sheep, we have this one MAN PIG.

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In the Small Town Snow Globe Refillery, a single mother is refilling snow globes with Christmas Juice. She is widow. Her husband died in every war.

“I fill snow globes better than Jesus Claus,” she says to herself, “yet my twin sons are still dad-free. Why? They need double-dad.”

A businessman enters the shop. He wears a suit that costs money, and his hands are briefcases.

“Do your snowglobes lack wet?” The woman asks. “You must hurry. Christmas attacks soon.”

The businessman has a flashback to when he was businessboy. A Christmas tree blows up his family on purpose. Now he hates trees, Christmas, and explosions. He exits the flashback.

“Shut your sound!” he says. “I am from Huge City. I have bought your land and am turning it into an oil resort.”

“Rude behavior!” says the woman. “This is a family business. I sell families. I am widow. My husband is now bones.” She points to a pile of bones in the corner. They are all gift wrapped in eggnog.

“All my wives are bones!” the businessman says. “That is America. But I need money for my twins to live. They are a prince.”

“I too own twins. Please, don’t have bought my land,” begs the woman. “Christmas is today.”

“Laugh. I bought Christmas and now it is never. Unless we go on dates.”

“I cannot date because of a snow curse,” says the woman. “I pray Santa helps me.”

But Santa cannot help. She didn’t know, but Santa was her husband. Santa is bones now. Bones help nobody.

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Once upon a time, there lived a fox and a crow. They lived happily ever after, until an old birch - tree grew up, which the crow helped to chop down.

This made the birch - tree very angry, so it flew up into the sky, kicking up dust and destroying everything in its path.

Yet, the crow looked up at the sight and laughed. As the fox looked up to do the same, he realized that the tree was flying straight at him.

He waited until the tree was right in front of him, then called out in a slow, scared voice, “Look at me, old tree, if you do not forgive me for hurting you in the past, I shall be sorry!”

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MCDOnnald's

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Honestly looks like a Minecraft Dungeons level