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Tan accentuates sacrifice as important aspect of motherhood. When the character An-Mei Hsu lived with her mother at an early age, she learned of her mother’s rape and abuse at the hand of Wu Tsing and Second Wife, An-Mei’s mother’s husband and his concubine. An-Mei’s mother knew of Wu Tsing’s fear of ghosts, so she precisely timed her suicide to line up with the day of the Lunar New Year; “on the third day after someone dies, the soul comes back to settle scores. In my mother’s case, this would be the first day of the Lunar New Year. All debts must be paid, or disaster and misfortune will follow” (Tan, 272). An-Mei’s mother gains the upper hand by committing suicide to ensure An-Mei’s safety within the household. Witnessing her mother’s death, An-Mei learns the importance of sacrificing something of one’s own for the betterment of their loved ones. Corresponding with An-Mei’s mother, the protagonist’s Jing-Mei’s mother, Suyuan Woo, had to leave her other daughters behind when on the verge of death from fleeing from the war (Tan, 323). Suyuan’s sacrifice for her and her daughter’s safety allowed both her and them to get to safety and live better lives. Both An-Mei’s mother’s and Suyuan’s sacrifices represent the paramount feature of mother-daughter relationships, sacrifice.

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Amy Tan uses the story of Lindo’s arranged marriage to prove that through enduring unfortunate circumstances, one gains inner strength. In Lindo’s childhood, her parents, with the help of the matchmaker, arrange a marriage with Tyan-yu. Although Lindo does not wish to be placed in this position, she demonstrates her loyalty to her family’s desires by going through with the marriage, but when she looks in the mirror at her wedding dress, she notices, “I was strong. I was pure. I had genuine thoughts inside that no one could see that no one could ever take away from me. I was like the wind” (Tan 53).  Amy Tan utilizes a metaphor of comparing Lindo to the wind to prove the inner strength Lindo finds inside of herself after going through with the wedding. Lindo knows she must endure the marriage her family provides for her to keep peace, but she makes a promise to never lose the strength and courage she built up in herself. Through Lindo recognizing she will never let anyone take her thoughts and opinions away even in her inevitable situation, she gains the power to overcome the hardships of Taitai Huang and Tyan-yu’s comments and critiques, showing that inner strength comes from recognizing and facing obstacles instead of cowering and backing away.  After exploring and dealing with her unwanted marriage for some time, Lindo pursues her own wishes and decides her own fate. In the suspenseful and unexpected scene of the night of Lindo’s wedding, Lindo decides to manipulate the red candle that symbolizes a bonded marriage when her “throat filled with so much hope that it finally burst and blew out her husband’s end of the candle” (Tan 56). The red candle representing marriage means a lot to the Chinese culture, and they follow it closely. Therefore, Lindo knows that by blowing out the candle, she can use her clever thinking to make up a plan to decide her own path in the future. She follows through with the marriage for some time and faces hardships, but in the end, she tricks the Huang family to believe her husband’s candle blew out on its own, so the marriage fails. Lindo uses her own inner strength and hope inside of herself to start her own life away from her previous arrangement, proving that through sufferance in current situations, one acquires power in themself. Amy Tan conveys the theme of perseverance leading to inner stability and toughness through Lindo’s arranged union, but also through other main character in the novel.

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In the beginning of the novel, An-Mei shows her faith through believing Bing will come back. An -Mei pleads “I have learned this. I have put it in my memory. And now I have come to take Bing back.” An-Mei believes God is trying to teach her a lesson and has no doubt Bing will not come back. An-Mei faith portrays a willingness to fight for the things she loves. Also, An-Mei is encouraged to get out and look for Bing instead of falling into a depressed state. Rose describes her mother writing “on the page before the New Testament begins, there’s a section called “Deaths,” and that’s where she wrote “Bing Hsu” lightly, in erasable pencil. A pencil makes a light marking that can still be erased. This is what Bing’s death left on An-Mei heart. An-Mei’s hope in Bing coming back allows her to face the situation with some optimism instead of negativity.

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June never connects with Suyuan but fulfills her life-long wish after she passes away. June proves her weak connection with her mother saying, “My mother and I never really understood one another” (Tan 27). June and Suyuan live their lives distant from each other. They never develop a powerful connection, and this leads to misunderstandings in their relationship. June does not interpret some stories and lessons that Suyuan tells her, such as the story of leaving her twin daughters at the border of China. June fulfills her mother’s wish when meeting her sisters in China: “Together we look like our mother. Her same eyes, her same mouth, open in surprise to see, at last, her long-cherished wish” (Tan 329). When Suyuan passes away, June realizes how weak the connection is between her and her mother. June unites with her sisters in China to carry out her mother’s wish to find her lost daughters. June finally sees the connection with her mother that she has long waited for.

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June Woo exhibits the impact trauma has on one’s life due to the death of a loved one, by June being left with the feeling she has not meet her mother’s expectations after her mother’s passing. In the novel June experiences the patronizing guilt that she has not satisfied her mother’s suppositions. “After seeing my mother’s disappointed face once again, something inside me began to die” (Tan 144).  Throughout the novel June is constantly dragged down with the thought that she never made her mother proud. After her mother’s death, June goes through the culpability that she will now never get the chance to redeem herself. Shortly after her mother’s death, the aunts tell June that she dosen’t truly know her mother’s identity. “I lay awake thinking about my mother’s story, realizing how much I have never known about her, grieving that my sisters and I have both lost her” (Tan 327). June is left with yet another feeling that she has let her mother down by not having a full understanding of who her mother really is. Throughout June’s story it’s a common occurrence that June put doubt and guilt in herself all due to the trauma of her mother’s sudden death.

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In the novel, Tan illustrates the difference between the American and Chinese culture’s view on marriage. The novel certifies how expendable a woman is in a marriage in 40s Chinese culture: when An-Mei think, “I saw Second Wife’s true nature…her visits always reminded Wu Tsing of Fifth Wife’s low-class background and how foolish he had been to be lured by her earthy flesh…I knew why First Wife’s power had been drained away…I saw fearful Third wife became when Second Wife told her stories of old concubines who were kicked out into the streets…I saw [Fourth Wife’s] my mother’s pain” (Tan 268-269). This quote shows how women were viewed as a commodity. Wu Tsing’s belief that a woman is something be gathered and that having five wives raises his social stature, solidifies the fact that a woman’s place in a marriage was expendable. The novel continues to explain the differing places a woman has in a marriage in Chinese and American culture; when Lindo ponders, “I came to think Tyan-yu as a god, someone whose opinions were worth more than my own life. I came to think of Huang Taitai as my real mother, someone I wanted to please, someone I should follow and obey without question” (Tan 51). Lindo’s thoughts illustrate how her marriage makes her feel inferior to her husband and mother-in-law. How she feels that in order to be a good wife, she needs to, without question, put her own needs and wants behind and put her husband and family-in-law’s needs first. These thoughts describe the fact that a woman’s place in a marriage was expendable.

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Lindo sacrifices a significant part of her life by agreeing to an arranged marriage to please her parents. This marriage is referred to in the first sentence of her chapter, signifying the importance of this promise and how she was changed forever, “I once sacrificed my life to keep my parent’s promise” (Tan 49). Lindo knows that this was a substantial sacrifice, but she valued her parent’s approval and what they thought of her. Soon after she got married, Lindo’s mother-in-law abused her because she was not pregnant. Lindo started to think of ways to leave her toxic marriage environment, “That’s the day I started to think about how I would escape this marriage without breaking my promise to my family” (Tan 63). She knew that if she left her marriage, it would bring great shame to the family name. Lindo was clever and found a way to blow out her husbands candle so that she could leave without her parent’s disapproval.

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Waverly Jong first exhibits courage when she confronts her mother, Lindo Jong, who uses Waverly to show off her chess achievements. Waverly was a young girl at the supermarket with her boastful mother when she recognizes and courageously displays her strong feelings of resentment towards Lindo: “Why do you have to use me to show off? If you want to show off, then why don’t you learn how to play chess?” (Tan 101). Waverly knows that her words will humiliate her mother but is blinded by her anger and learns how to effectively face her mother. As Waverly continues to envy her mother, she discovers a new plan to “quit playing chess” (Tan 188). Waverly overcomes her mother by ignoring her, just as her mother was doing to her. Waverly’s irritation with her mother proves that her uncovered courage is what motivates her to boldly approach her mother’s arrogance.

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As expressed in Waverly’s story with her fiancé Rich, a mother’s pressure and opinion can lead to anxiety and doubts. After the first family dinner with Rich, Waverly starts to notice and become irritated with trivial things Rich does. It had never bothered her before until her mother pointed them out to her. As Waverly lay in bed that night she recalls, “He looked so pathetic. So pathetic, those words! My mother was doing it again, making me see black where I once saw white” (Tan 199). In the midst of falling asleep, Waverly struggles with her new image of Rich. Her mother shows her traits Waverly had loved and never noticed. Waverly becomes anxious, observing everything Rich does in a new light. She watches him as he eats cereal; “’Morning Doll’ he said between noisy munches of cornflakes” (Tan 199). These flaws her mother exposed her to have caused doubts and worries about Rich. This further portrays how Lindo’s opinion and pressure on her daughter lead to Waverly worries about her future marriage.

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Amy Tan’s portrayal of trauma is shown through An-Mei’s mother when she is forced into marriage due to manipulation and her own submissive nature. Yan Chang, An-mei’s mother’s servant, once told An-mei “When your mother awoke to find him touching her beneath her undergarments, she jumped out of bed. He grabbed her by her hair and threw her on the floor, then put his foot on her throat and told her to undress” (Tan 267). After this incident she tries to question Second wife of her heinous actions, but is told “How could a worthless widow accuse a rich woman of lying?” (Tan 267). In that moment An-mei’s mother became helpless with no choice but to submit to second wife. As a concubine, she lost all control of her life, so she never got to properly raise An-mei and was cast out by her family. This submissive nature of hers does not just come from nowhere. As a child An-mei’s mother was taught a story about a turtle that believes crying makes you miserable: “I have eaten your tears, and this is why I know your misery. But I must warn you. If you cry, your life will always be sad” (Tan 243). This caused her to follow on with her life by keeping quiet and bottling her emotions. When she finally gets to bring An-mei to live with her she tells her this same story of the turtle, passing down this toxic way of handling her feelings.

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Rose’s regret over the state of her marriage leads her to finding her self-worth. After Ted leaves her, Rose spends days “thinking about [her] marriage, fifteen years living in Ted’s shadow” (Tan 214). She feels a sense of clarity during this time and is overtaken by dread. Rose knows that she allowed Ted to walk all over her, and she feels shame and regret over this fact. When Ted shows up to take back his house and force divorce on Rose, the regret she feels over the state of her life causes her to fight back. “I’m staying here” (Tan 218), she announces. In this moment, Rose understands that there is nothing Ted can do to hurt her. She is in control of her own life. Although Rose had to face heartache, her regret leads her to grow a person and understand her self-worth.

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Ying-ying’s story proves that balance is not always favorable in her reaction to her unfortunate miscarriage. Ying-ying faced many hardships in her life, but one of the most detrimental to her character is when she undergoes a miscarriage with her second child. In the time leading up to the baby’s due date he daughter, Lena, observed her often, realizing, “she did not speak of the joys of having a new baby; she talked about a heaviness around her, about things being out of balance, not in harmony with one another,” (113 Tan). This realization first foreshadows the misfortune coming with this baby. But it also is exhibiting that Ying-ying’s off balanced feeling led her away from the “joys of having a new baby”, instead she focused on the “heaviness” she felt surrounding her. The quote could also be suggesting that the inharmoniousness Ying-ying was sensing is the reason she had a miscarriage. After Ying-ying went through her miscarriage, she was left traumatized. Lena observed her mother as she learned to cope with the loss of her child. In doing this she perceived, “After the baby died, my mother fell apart, not all at once, but piece by piece, like plates falling off a shelf one by one. I never knew when it would happen, so I became nervous all the time, waiting,” (116 Tan). This quote describes how Ying-ying is slowly veering away from herself and her own family as an effect of her miscarriage. The thought of her world not being balanced being the reason her baby passed drives Ying-ying insane. This intrusion leads her to try to find or make balance in every aspect of her life. Ying-ying forgets what her priority in life really is, she is distracted by the thought that imbalance could cause another catastrophic event to happen to her.

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Lindo Jong journeys through self-discovery by finding her tenacity in her first marriage to Tyan-Yu. Lindo is standing in a mirror and staring at her reflection when she promises to herself that she will never forget her strength and determination, even though she will continue to keep the promise she made to her family to be a good wife to Tyan-Yu (Tan 53). Lindo endures pain and suffering from Tyan-Yu’s mother and tires of this injustice. This promise she makes to herself in the mirror represents her discovery of herself through all her hardships and her determination to keep pushing through the marriage, while maintaining obedience to her family. Lindo, headstrong, determines that after all she endures, the day her mother-in-law takes all her gold back is the “day I started to think to think about how I would escape this marriage without breaking this promise to my family” (Tan 59). Lindo’s mother-in-law is cruel and irrational to Lindo when she takes her jewelry away to better balance her so that Lindo may become fertile. Instead of being angry and reacting to her, Lindo demonstrates that her new found determination will drive her to stick to her values and become the best version of herself.

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Evidently, when Lindo Jong loses her family and is forced into an unhappy marriage, she exhibits courage and determination by deciding to control her fate. Lindo wishes for a savior to rescue her from her future marriage she explains, “I was praying to Buddha, the goddess of mercy, and the full moon—to make that candle go out. It fluttered a little and the flame bent down low, but still both ends burned strong. My throat filled with so much hope that it finally burst and blew out my husband's end of the candle” (Tan 56). The night of her wedding Lindo sees the red candle as a symbol of her enslavement to her new husband’s family her hopes for a better life were long overdue causing her to blow out the candle. Her revolt against her duties as a daughter and wife proves that through the loss of her family and home, she began to realize her dreams were more important than the life planned for her. Lindo’s realization leads to her plan of escape she reveals, “That day I started to think about how I would escape this marriage without breaking my promise to my family. It was really quite simple. I made the Huangs think it was their idea to get rid of me, that they would be the ones to say the marriage contract was not valid” (Tan 56). Lindo Jong at a young age learns from her parents that ambition is disgraceful but during their absence, she discovers that a person’s choices make them who they are. She embraces that she is a creative and quick-witted girl and tricks the Huang family into granting her freedom and a future filled with endless possibilities without losing her dignity. Lindo loves her family and stays obedient and submissive yet after losing them she was able to unleash her true potential and free herself from the shackles of expectations.

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First, Rose discovers her inner strength while facing divorce with her husband, Ted, and realizing he has been cheating on her with a new woman. As Rose and Ted’s marriage self-destructs, Rose receives divorce papers from Ted in which he wants returned to him immediately with her signature. Rose cannot quite fathom why Ted then frantically comes by her house urging her to sign the papers quickly until she realizes he wants the divorce as soon as possible “because he wanted to get married again, to someone else…I was so humiliated I almost started to cry” (Tan 216). Rose recognizes the giant weight sitting on she and Ted’s marriage, but she surprisingly realizes that another woman receives the love and care that she should be experiencing from Ted. Rose feels foolish for not realizing sooner that she cannot fulfill the needs of her husband to the point that he does monkey business with someone else, but this event causes Rose to finally find her voice and stand up to Ted. Ted not only insistently wishes for Rose to sign the papers, but he also believes that he gets to keep the house in the divorce because he says so. Though Ted gives Rose his dominance-asserting stare, Rose declares, “I say I’m staying, and my lawyer will too, once we serve you the papers…You can’t just pull me out of your life and throw me away” (Tan 218). Ted uses his signature expression of power to scare Rose into giving into his desires or orders, but he did not see Rose’s next move of certainty and strength coming. She finally uses her voice to say that she wants the house and is going to fight for it. Rose frees herself from the mental abuse Ted has been giving her all throughout their marriage, gains her inner strength, and unlocks her full potential after facing adversary.

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From the start, Lindo Jong sacrifices her life for her parents' promise and reputation. After being promised to the Huangs' son for marriage, Lindo recounts her mother saying, "We have made a contract. It cannot be broken" (Tan 45). This establishes how much pressure Lindo is under to keep her family's promise to the Huangs, and the beginning of her suffering. Throughout the novel, Lindo endures constant bullying from her married family and endures treatment as if she were a servant and not as family. This begins Lindo's hatred for the Huangs, especially when Lindo hears Huang Taitai breathing "and then all of the sudden she stood up from her chair, walked over to me, and slapped my face" (Tan 57). It cost Lindo her life to marry Tyan-yu, and her suffering is proof of the sacrifice she makes to ensure her parents' promise is kept. Lindo realizes that she had given her existence to her parent's vow and states, "That was the day I was a young girl with my face under a red marriage scarf. I promised not to forget myself. How nice it is to be that girl again" (Tan 63). It shows that she finally came to the realization that she had done enough to keep her parents' commitment. When she sacrifices her life for her parents' reputation and promise, she does so with a profound love for them.

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An-Mei evolves from being taught to stay silent and fighting her battles alone, to finding courage and her voice to stand up for herself. An-Mei explains the certain way she was taught to act when she was younger by expressing herself saying, “I know this, because I was raised the Chinese way: I was taught to desire nothing, to swallow other people’s misery, and to eat my own bitterness.” (Tan 241) She talks about how she was trained from a young age to keep all her emotions to herself, even while other people were letting their own out for her to hear. She was also told that she was to never long for anything, she had to be content with what she had and not ask for anything more. An-Mei, however, shows how she overcame what she had known her whole life. She signals this through her actions when she illustrates “And on that day, I showed Second Wife the fake pearl necklace she had given me and crushed it under my foot. And on that day, Second Wife’s hair began to turn white. And on that day, I learned to shout.” (Tan 272) At this point in the novel she has put up with the Second Wife manipulating and taking advantage of her while living with An-Mei’s own  mother who also worked as a concubine. After what the Second Wife has put her through, An-Mei finally finds courage and uses her voice to stand up to the Second Wife. An-Mei shows that even through her silent suffering as a child, she goes against what she knew her whole life to overcome it.

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An mei's mother’s unwillingness to give up either Popo or An-mei displays her connection to both. When Popo is close to death with illness, An Mei describes vividly the courageous actions of her mother: she cuts a piece of flesh from her arm and puts it into a soup for Popo (Tan 40). Even though Popo has consistently disowned and reprimanded her daughter, An mei’s mother turns to an almost radical act to save her from death. Her attachment to her mother fails to cease, even after being treated so unkindly. When it is time for An mei’s mother to leave again, she attempts to stay with An mei, suggesting “An-mei, I am not asking you. But I am going back to Tientsin now and you can follow me” (Tan 245). All of An-mei’s family protests that An-mei should never wish to be with her mother, but her mother still feels the need to fight for her daughter. She loves An-mei so vehemently that she would rather go against every other family member than leave her behind. Because of her undying, strong bond to her mother and daughter, An-mei’s mother turns to surprising methods to save them.

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Lindo and Waverly struggle with their relationship and seeing eye-to-eye, but because of the strength of mother-daughter relationships, they develop a stronger bond in the end. Waverly compares their relationship, and in the process, she joylessly insists a feeling of helplessness: "My mother was doing it again, making me see black where I saw white. In her hands, I always became the pawn. I could only run away. And she was the queen, able to move in all directions, relentless in her pursuit, always able to find my weakest spots" (Tan 179-180). Waverly and Lindo undergo the hardship of constantly disagreeing with each other. Waverly specifically always feels her mom is chasing her, trying to exhaust her, but both of them feel they are incapable of fixing their relationship because of this head-to-head situation. Especially Waverly feels she can never do anything to agree with Lindo when in reality she can. Waverly finally comes to this realization when she tries to understand Lindo a little more deeply. She realizes that Lindo is just “an old woman, a work for her armor, a knitting needle for her sword, getting a little crabby as she waited patiently for her daughter to invite her in” (Tan 288). Waverly now realizes all Lindo ever wants for her is the best, and Lindo never tries to be the “queen.” Waverly understands that she is not a pawn in her mother’s game. This mother-daughter bond that is always there, even if they do not know it, possesses so much strength that Lindo and Waverly Jong have the capability to work through their many hardships.

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Lastly, cultural walls separate mothers and daughters causing missed opportunities, as shown in the story of Suyan Woo, and her daughter June. In Suyan, and Jing-mei’s (June) relationship, many crucial mother daughter moments were missed, due to June’s lack of knowledge and connection to her mother. In the Novel, the feelings created by this barrier are shown through the excerpt, “These kinds of explanations made me feel my mother and I spoke two different languages, which we did. I talked to her in English, she answered back in Chinese” (Tan 23.) June and Suyan face a barrier that prevents them from knowing each other. June may feel as if her mother doesn’t understand her, and because of this, she missed out on many of the raw moments, that build the relationship between her and her mother. In the novel, Jing Mei also expresses her regret for missing the opportunity of knowing her mother; “It seemed as if I wanted to sustain my grief, to assure myself that I had cared deeply enough” (Tan 318.) June shows that she feels as if she never truly knew her mother. She missed out on their whole relationship, and she is trying to sustain her grief to possibly fuel her denial. She wants to believe that she cared for her mother deeply, but as she grieves, she begins to rethink her connection to her mother. Because of all the missing pieces in June and Suyan’s relationship, June feels distraught as she wonders how well she really knew her mother.

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Ying-Ying St. Clair, mother of Lena, lost herself in a physical and figurative way during childhood, leading her to live a life knowing, the little girl trying to discover the world, will never be found (Tan 83). She lives the rest of her life being silenced and manipulated into the American way of life. Ying-Ying had a green card marriage where the loss of identity continued. She ended up having Lena but had trouble bearing prior and future children. Ying-Ying aborted children when she lived in China and had a miscarriage after having Lena. Lena described her mother’s reaction to these loses as falling apart, “not all at once, but piece by piece, like plates falling off a shelf one by one” (Tan 117). Ying-Ying spent Lena’s childhood in a state of depression and was very absent. Lena did not feel a strong relationship was present between her mother and self. The way Ying-Ying parented and acted during Lena’s childhood can easily be correlated to the trauma of losing her children and moving to America. Through the absent nature of Lena and her mother’s relationship, they never truly were close or understood the nature of one another’s actions.