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Something that i liked about you piece was that you did a really good job on ng quotes from the text. Another thing i liked was that you used good word choice and there wasn’t any repetition for the most part. Another thing i liked was your description you did a great job with describing the text.

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Hi Noah! One strength you showed in your informational presentation was your backgrounds and images. I loves them and they really matched what I think of when Metallica comes to mind. Another strength was your text, that rock and punk text was exactly the text Metallics would use for a tour. One suggestion I could offer was making the text easier to read as the background sometimes blocked the text so I had to look very hard to find what you were saying. Great job!

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Hi Noah! I really liked your  description in your piece. The way you described  the scene in your evidence really allowed me to picture the Pixar short.  I also really liked your transions. You had very good transhions all throughout your piece which is really good. You used transhions like als, undoubtedly, and in truth. It was truly loaded with transhions words. One thing that I wish is that you don’t use personal pronouns. In both your claim and sum it up you used the word you. As you know we are not allowed to you personal pronouns so next time try read wording your sentence.

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Hi Noah! One compliment I had for your piece is the first of your pieces of evidence. I like how you immediately throw your theme into the mix with a clear example for the reader. Another star I had was you claim as I had the same theme (not a result of the star) but I just like that theme and the way it led into the evidence was the maraschino cherry on top. One wish I had while reading is that the piece was a bit more spread, it felt like in some of the explanations there were less descriptive words than in your other piece. I understand though as I feel my piece has the same issue.

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Sup Noah! Your paragraph is pretty good, long paragraph with lots of details. I mostly like you explanations because of all the descriptive writing. However, I feel like you should add more transition words in you paragraph to spice it up. But other than that good job!

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Hi Noah!  A place in your essay where you displaced a strength was the way you described things. It gave me a different perspective on Boundin and being able to do that is a good skill to have. Another strength was your word choice. You used a very  good vocabulary that helps your readers understand and get into your writing. One thing that I wish you would do is properly punctuate and capitalize your writing. In many places you forgot periods and put random comas and random capital letters.

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I love the scenario you made of the child.You go into detail so much about how she has to stay up really late and finish the homework.I also love the vocabulary you use it makes the reader want to agree with you so much

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⭐️Noah, I really liked your essay. I really liked how you used you own words for the Zinger instead of finding a quote online like most people did. It was a unique way of ending it.⭐️Noah, I really liked how you kept repeating your topic sentence. It really stood out to me how you did that. About five to six times in each paragraph you would repeat want you wanted the reader to know.🧞‍♂️Noah, I wished you had gone over spelling and grammar a few times more. I noticed throughout your essay that you forgot spaces and misspelled words. I also suggest not using real people like Ms. Pearl, Ms. Jennings, and Ms. Batra. They may not like the way you use their names in your story.

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the plot for your story was amazing, throwing   the with in there definitely was not expected. also I love the way you described the setting.  but you could definitely lose the foreshadowing though. but other than that the overall story was great!

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One thing I liked in your story was the mysterious setting of aunt Sarah’s house and the steal incorporated. I also liked the description you included in the action where they tried to kill Sarah and how she instinctively acted in control of the situation. One wish I had for your story was that you expressed Sarah a bit more and that there was more description.

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I liked how your inner thoughts explained how you thought that something bad was going to happen. It really gave your story suspense. Even though your story felt like a quick read, the suspense made it feel longer. You kept repeating that you knew something bad was about to happen but not knowing what. You tried ignoring that you knew something bad was going to happen. Your brain refused but you didn’t as if you had no control about what was going to happen.I liked how you picked something that is probably really hard to talk about but still talked about it. It must have been hard to write about and you probably had to choose what was too private and what was okay to share. This seems like a very hard thing to go through. I wish you would say more about what  epilepsys was. I didn’t really understand what it was until I looked it up. You did menchin the seizures but that was really all you said.

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So like I liked the suspense at the end and I really liked you’re describing of what was going on. And I liked you’re inner thought because those were things that I would be probably thinking.Good job goofy ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh step son