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Our personal definition of love belongs to us; but it can be manipulated and shaped by the lives we lead. Sensual Excess: Queer Femininity and Brown Jouissance (Musser) and 'This Kiss' by Gustav Klimt both take a look at the surface level of love and how it can contrast the true nature of the emotion. Musser's juxtaposition of protecting one's identity and protecting one's love directly emphasizes the personal nature of the emotion, and then further emphasizes its prevalence in society. In contrast, 'The Kiss' portrays a common societal image of love; soft and pure and between a heterosexual romantic relationship. The two combined allow us to think about the way love is changed when it is written and analyzed, thinking about how we perceive this emotion in others and how our own feelings may be understood.

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Love does not need to exist between multiple people; in fact, love often begins with the self. This strengthens the individuality and personality or love as people grown with our emotions. Femininity and Domination: Studies In The Phenomenology of Oppression (Bartky) and 'Cherry Wine' by Hozier both explore the importance of self-love. Bartky focuses in on the identity, and the importance of letting one's love and sexuality not be defined by their identities, under the critique of society. Cherry Wine, however, takes a different turn on a similar path; emphasizing the abandoning love of yourself can be detrimental to your perception of love as a whole. Both pieces do focus in on how loving oneself can shape your personal definition of love; and how you apply it to your life.

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Love does not need to be romantic or sexual: it can be adoration and appreciation outside of a relationship. Womanist Definition by Alice Walker and ‘Wanderer above the Sea of Fog’ by Caspar David Friedrich (1818) both describes love outside of the romantic or sexual; loves that are driven by passion and enamoration with something that is not human. To feel love for something is a feeling we chase. It allows us to find purpose and to understand ourselves. To discount these feelings as outside of the definition of 'love' is to diminish the meaning of the word and to de-individualize the emotion. Our loves are our own; and they are unique to each of us. That is the beauty of humanity, as having so many people with so many passions allows us to develop. Love is also a tool, for each of us to use as we wish.

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The way that we love often arises from our life experiences; thus, who we are gives rise to how we love. How to Make Love to A Trans Person (Moses) and ‘When a Boy Tells You He Loves You’ by Edwin Bodney both discuss two very different but informative experiences with love; each additionally playing out the effects of these occurrences. Moses emphasizes how our experiences can influence our perception to love, discussing the love and acceptance that transgender individuals often struggle with. Bodney emphasizes altering one's acceptance of love and differentiating between real love and empty words. This further explicates the impact of experiences in individualizing the definition of love. One person may view this emotion completely differently to another just based on one experience. As humans, we learn and grow as we move through life, and thus how we define our feelings does too.

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Processing and identifying love for ourselves isn’t always a pleasant experience—it goes through peaks and valleys. To some, love is beautiful; but to others, it is ugly and cruel. 'Another Love' by Tom Odell and 'All Too Well: Short Film' by Taylor Swift delicately portray one's lens into heartbreak. There is a reason why sad love songs are so popular; for many, this sadness and pain is part of their definition of love. It is not a black and white feeling. We can experience beautiful highs of joy and bliss, and then fall into deep despair due to the same feeling. Emotion, much like people, is not easily contained into a set of adjectives; it will continue to develop as we do. 'Intense' is certainly a proper adjective to describe love, but it goes deeper and wider than that. And often, music and art is the best descriptor.

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Looking into the heart of someone with differing identities, backgrounds, and perceptions from you may lead to feeling that one (or maybe both) or you is wrong; but this is not the case. Thus, we are challenged by looking to the many different forms of love without questioning our own. Reconsidering Asexuality and Its Radical Potential (Chasin) and Keith Haring's Untitled piece look into differing experiences in love; in particular, loves that do not align with the traditional heteronormative idea of love. This further emphasizes the freedom and individuality of love; however, both pieces offer insight into loves in the lens of asexuality and LGBTQ+. By listening to others and learning about their definitions of love, we can further learn about the word and the weight it carries beyond four letters.

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Love does not need to exist between romantic partners; it is familial, friendly, and blossoms between close relationships. 'The Story of the 50' from New Girl and 'Somewhere Only We Know' by Keane both reveal intense loves that are strictly platonic. Our friendships can become familial, as we choose those we love through bonding experiences, likes, dislikes, and personal needs. To discount love as purely romantic or sexual evades the importance of relationships built on solid ground that uplift us in similar ways. Found family and friends are often the most important loves in our lives. They have the same power to teach us, help us grow, and inspire intense admiration. And in turn, each relationship can add to our definition of love, further individualizing how we see those feelings.

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In this piece from her archives, Alice Walker discusses love in several forms through the lens of black feminism. Not only does her take open conversations on the different ways our identities can influence our passions, she notably discusses love in meanings outside of romance or sex. ”Loves purple. Loves music. Loves dance. Loves the moon…”; Walker lists several examples of loves we can posses that do not relate to other peoples. These true passions are some of the truest forms of love and are quite individualized. This further emphasizes her themes of love and the individuality behind its expression.

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‘Wanderer above the Sea of Fog’ by Caspar David Friedrich (1818).

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‘Wanderer above the Sea of Fog’ by Caspar David Friedrich (1818).

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This painting’s image of a man gazing over a foggy scape, looking beyond the rocky view into the sky, reminds me of the ‘on top of the world’ feeling experienced when one is lifted up by a passion. The love of nature, possibility, and adventure emanates from this piece, revealing a pensive and reflective mindset on the beauty of life itself. That is a love of its own; an adoration and admiration of something beautiful. Friedrich's painting emphasizes a leap of faith into the passions and loves we each chase throughout our lives.

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Love may be define-able as a term, written as "an intense feeling of deep affection". However, love as an emotion is free and subjective; making it a personal definition, not a societal one.

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Love may be define-able as a term, written as "an intense feeling of deep affection". However, love as an emotion is free and subjective; making it a personal definition, not a societal one.

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Femininity and Domination: Studies In The Phenomenology of Oppression (Bartky)

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Femininity and Domination: Studies In The Phenomenology of Oppression (Bartky)

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Bartky investigates the way that women have existed throughout history in the realm of life, eroticism, and love, discussing the perpetual ideas of inferiority pushed upon us. Tackling these ideas can allow us to challenge the norms, opening up new opportunity for defining ourselves in relationships of love and sex. Writing, “Without the antidote of self-love, woman would be helpless before the misfortunes an inherently masochistic nature will surely bring upon itself…” Bartky emphasizes the line between self-love and societal love, illuminating the importance of knowing and loving oneself and prioritizing this above romantic, sexual, or adorative relationships.

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Sensual Excess: Queer Femininity and Brown Jouissance (Musser)

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Sensual Excess: Queer Femininity and Brown Jouissance (Musser)

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The way that we are perceived is often drastically altered by subjectivity. Preconceptions about how people love creates a paradox around the subjectivity of love itself. Further applying Musser’s claim on personal subjection as compared to societal subjection to love, we can consider how one’s love may be different from the outside looking in. Musser writes, “performances are sexual or affective, but they all illustrate the difficulty of being perceived as a consumable commodity” (47), leading us to consider how we market love and sexuality to the outside world and its impact on how we ourselves define it.

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How to Make Love to A Trans Person (Moses)

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How to Make Love to A Trans Person (Moses)

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This poetry dives into the delicate nature of the transgender body, and how this can connect to the best ways to foster love for a trans individual. Moses uses imagery and description to emphasize the importance of honoring your partner for who they are to foster intimacy and trust. This intertwines the ideas of love and sex to further prove that past struggles and triumphs with identity can reform our view of love. It is acceptance, celebration, care, and compassion—and Moses writes it as such reminding us that we are all on our own love journeys.

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Reconsidering Asexuality and Its Radical Potential (Chasin)

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Reconsidering Asexuality and Its Radical Potential (Chasin)

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Combining academic research, philosophical debate, and introspection, Chasin delves into the topic of asexuality and unpacks the truth of this identity and the perceptions that surround it. The piece seeks to dismantle bias against a form of love outside of the norm; challenging readers to understand that their definition of love and the erotic will not apply to all others. Chasin causes us to consider: how can we rationalize our own definition of love when there are so many others out there?

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Singer Tom Odell's 'Another Love' discusses the aftermath true heartbreak and the climb back to trusting love again “And I wanna cry, I wanna learn to love / But all my tears have been used up”. Loves can hurt us as much as they can heal; holding us back from potential beauty. Poetry and music are commonly used mechanisms for explaining love—and sometimes, even defining it. This song is painstakingly descriptive of lost love, a subset of this emotion not discussed enough. Juxtaposition of musical emotion and lyrical prose provides a dynamic way of viewing such a dynamic topic.

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This episode of the comedy 'New Girl' surrounds the birthday party of Schmidt, one of the show's main characters. During this party, the friends focus on outward appearances, finally realizing after several unexpected events that the whole point of the night was celebrating the love between them all. Highlighting the idea of platonic love, the bonds between the group show that love will go to lengths of effort regardless of sexual or romantic involvement. We show each other how much we care through gestures that feel right to us, and different actions will make us feel loved.

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Love has the propensity to bewitch us; giving it a potentially sinister undertone. 'Mad Girl's Love Song' by Sylvia Plath and 'The Lovers' by René Magritte both delve into the darker side of an emotion often regarded as pure and delicate. Love can also be harsh and dark, often taking turns due to personal experiences and interactions. Diminishing the levels to which love can go will discount others' perceptions of their emotion, often due to traumas or difficulties in past loves. The darker side of love is a topic rarely discussed in widely circulating media, but it opens up important conversations about protecting our emotions and safety. There is a lot to learn from others and their experiences, and to ignore this truth is to remain in the dark willingly.

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'Mad Girl’s Love Song’ by Sylvia Plath (1953)

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'Mad Girl’s Love Song’ by Sylvia Plath (1953)

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In her poetry, Plath explores love in many realms. However, ‘Mad Girl’s Love Song’ outlines the equally mystical and sinister aspect a deep infatuation can have. Language such as ‘hell’s fires fade’, ‘roar back again’ and ‘world drops dead’ vividly describes the intensity of these feelings. It is equal parts pain and pleasure for the voice of the poem, with a full heart that feels as though it is being ripped out. The world is simultaneously brightened and altered, as love gives way to personal alterations in one's perception and values.

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Art’s portrayal of emotion opens our minds to another’s. In this painting, the blissful interpretation of love—a couple cuddled in complete togetherness—portrays an understanding of love from a stable environment. I myself grew up seeing a print of this painting in the family room, hung by my parents who recently celebrated their 25th anniversary. The loves we portray are the ones we know and looking at the work of others lets us bend and expand what we understand love to be. Love is colorful, isolated, and intimate in this piece. However, what might it look like if created by another?

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The romanticism and subtle darkness Magritte portrays in this piece, similarly to Plath’s poetry, highlights the blinding nature love can possess. From the outside, we may see things those intertwined in feelings cannot. Thus, love can lift you up while bringing you down, erasing logic and taking hold. This bewitching feeling may feel like bliss, while unsettling to those looking in, much like the viewer of this painting. Magritte is a favorite artist of mine due to his raw portrayal of surrealist images. Love as a subject is perfect; as it is a surreal feeling expressed clearly and honestly.

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The artist’s musical vision applied to film gives further insight into their lyrical prose. Famously, Taylor Swift’s ‘All Too Well’ short film does exactly this. Following the cycle of a love; its beginning, honeymoon stage, first cracks, crash, and aftermath exposes the harsh and ugly truths of love and heartbreak. As much as it has the ability to lift us up, failed or broken loves can rip us back down to lower than where we started. But the journey still holds beauty, creating a struggle after we’ve lost something near and dear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tollGa3S0o8

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Songs about close relationships are often perceived to be love songs; however, I would argue some of the best love songs refer to platonic love. Keane’s song is a prime example; describing the peace and comfort of a loving relationship as an oasis and retreat from life’s pains. Love is reliable, sturdy, and soulful, built upon the ground we establish for our relationships. Not only is it what we make it; but it is with whom we adore. Only we know the truth of our own loves; therefore, those relationships are "somewhere only we know".

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‘When a Boy Tells You He Loves You’ by Edwin Bodney

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‘When a Boy Tells You He Loves You’ by Edwin Bodney

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This spoken word poetry tells a captivating story of falling in love, and how the way we feel this emotion can be tainted. The pain and anger felt by the speaker gives insight into his past experiences with love as a manipulation and a lie rather than a truly sweet thing. Like the crushed blackberries mentioned in the beginning of the poem, something sweet and full is reduced to sourness. The pain left behind from that experience has changed Bodney’s perception of love; that it is to be meant as it is said, and is otherwise not the real thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq1l-19pwS4

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The loves we experience are unique to us and those we share them with. The intertwined heads of the two subjects into a heart shows the joining of emotions in a wholesome and beautiful way. Most interestingly, though, much of Keith Haring’s work contains human figures without identifiable features. This makes him one of my favorite artists, as the pieces are often up to a more personalized and subjective interpretation. This represents the love of two subjects, but what’s to say it cannot represent a viewer’s love? A love from movies? Any love at all?

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Not only is this song about a love turned toxic and losing oneself to it a stunning representation of emotion, but the music video accompanying it displays a journey to self-love. A woman that has been diminished by her relationship slowly comes to the realization that she is more deserving, with the video ending on a shot of her staring into the mirror, knowing that she needs to love herself enough to protect her heart and body. Without loving and caring for ourselves, we cannot find love with others.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdSCCwtNEjA