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This document includes what already exists in the world and what i need to focus on to make my project stand out.

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Target Market Research Planning Template

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This document includes what research I done for my project and what the findings were with links to websites and my survey monkey results.

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I looked up a professional profile of a director because in my FMP project I will be working individually  so I will be directing my project throughout. I also looked up what a director needs to do within their job role. This will help me in future if I wanted to go into the direct career within the media industry.

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I looked up a professional profile of a camera operator because the main job role within my project is a camera operator. This role will be done by myself so I look at what I needed to do while being the camera operator and what knowledge a camera operator needs just incase I go into the career of a camera operator in the media industry.

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This mind map includes each requirement I will need in my production. for example it includes the budget, the job roles and the barriers.

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This is my write up for survey monkey for my primary research 

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This is my write up for survey monkey for my primary research 

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This is my write-up for my primary research, this explains every question I asked and why I asked the question. It also explains how these results will help me with my production and how I will use these results in my production.

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The results from the questionnaire I done on survey monkey

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The results from the questionnaire I done on survey monkey

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This is my questionnaire that I made on survey money asking people about their relationship with their parents and who they live with at home. The write up is below.

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Absent fathers and effects on children part two

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Absent fathers and effects on children part two

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http://fatheringadventures.squarespace.com/blog/2012/4/18/absent-a-documentary-about-the-impact-of-disengaged-fathers.html
This is a screenshot about uninvolved fathers and the impact on teenagers. This screenshot shows some of the effects not having a father has on teenagers and how much it effects them. For example the first bullet point in this screenshot ays 63% of teen suicides come from fathers homes, this shows that a father figure in a teenagers life is more important than you think.

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Absent fathers and effects on children part one

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Absent fathers and effects on children part one

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http://fatheringadventures.squarespace.com/blog/2012/4/18/absent-a-documentary-about-the-impact-of-disengaged-fathers.html
This is a screenshot about how important a father figure in in people's lives and how dads are undervalued as parents within society. This will help me in my production as I will be contradicting this piece of information as I will be explaining how dads are important to people and they shouldn't be undervalued.

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This is an article about the truth of divorce it explains how hard it is for children who's parents are divorcing, it shows how sleeping over two parents places will be hard as you will need two sets of everything and it will get confusing for younger children. This article also explains why dads are so important to children whatever their age. This will help me as I will be explaining how important my dad is in my life and how its hard to see him when he is so far away.

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No matter how civilized, divorce always makes children unhappy

Even well-intentioned parents can cause lasting damage, including anxiety

Divorce may make it hard for children to form secure relationships

A child of divorced parents herself, Penelope offers parents advice on how to spare their children long-term pain

Child psychologist Penelope Leach has been helping guide and support parents for nearly 40 years. Her book, Your Baby And Child: From Birth To Age Five, has sold more than 2 million copies since 1977 and she's also a world-renowned expert on child development.

Even now, decades later, I can remember the full horror of how it felt. I was ten years old at the time, and sitting on the school bus. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by the fear that something awful had happened to my mother while I wasn't there.

I was seized by strange fantasises that she wouldn't recognise me when I got home; that she'd lost her mind and no longer knew who I was. From then on, day after day, the same fear returned.

In fact, Mum was perfectly OK, though my father was away a lot and she always seemed to be in tears. Had I but known it, this type of anxiety is classic in children who've lost one parent through separation or divorce - and now fear losing the other.

In my case, my parents were still in the throes of separation - it took 15 months - and having endless secret conversations behind closed doors. Neither of them explained what was going on.

I learned to dread those evenings of half-heard wrangles, and although Mum said everything was OK, I knew it wasn't.

And therein lies a painful truth: no matter how well-intentioned parents are, no matter how civilised they feel they are being, their divorce or separation always makes children unhappy. Always.

If you're like most parents, you probably feel your children would tell you if they were really unhappy. I'm afraid that they almost certainly wouldn't.

I said nothing about my own misery at the time, even when I was banished to a boarding school I hated.

No child is too young or too old to be affected by a family break-up. It will always be emotionally disruptive, miserable and bewildering - whether they are six months old, six years, 16 or 26.

Parents separating is not just a storm but a hurricane that howls through family life, rocking all the relationships and wrecking children's security.

Many parents (understandably) become so involved in their own feelings that they can no longer remain engaged in their children's everyday lives. The parent who stays with the family is often as emotionally absent as the other parent is physically apart.

Young children's brain development is affected by acute stress, and a wealth of new neuroscientific research - from Britain, America, Australia and Germany - shows that there can be lifelong ill-effects on mental and physical health and, therefore, on personalities and lifestyles.

For a start, all children of divorce are more likely to get divorced themselves in the future.

Particularly in acrimonious cases, when the atmosphere is poisoned by arguments, enmity or even violence, children are likely to end up doing badly at school.

Their behaviour often deteriorates and, according to statistics, they're more likely to grow up to become risk-taking teenagers and even anti-social adults. Not only that, but the broken relationship between their parents may make it very hard for these children to form secure and trusting relationships later on.

For my new book on family breakdown, I've talked to dozens of separated parents and their children, and drawn on four decades of experience as a child psychologist. In addition, I've studied a lot of new research on the subject and investigated what goes on in our courts.

Although every family and every child within a family is different, it's now possible to identify some of the factors that make family break-ups so damaging - and how even well‑intentioned parents can sometimes make the damage worse.

NO SLEEPOVERS WITH DAD FOR UNDER-FOURS

You may think that the obvious way to make divorce easier for children is for the couple to have shared custody, where a child spends equal time with each parent. After all, it's only fair, isn't it?

Certainly, this view is prevalent among some UK judges and many lawyers. So it's not uncommon for a child to stay with Mum, say, from Monday to Thursday and with Dad from Thursday to Sunday.

But to whom is this 'fair'? Children are not chattels to be divided up like the DVD collection.
Neuroscientific evidence shows that children who are under four - and especially if they are under two - almost certainly need to live full-time with their principal care-giver, who in 92 per cent of separating families is the mother.

They should not be expected to spend nights away with the other parent, usually the father, on a regular basis unless both parents have shared the child's care from the beginning. Why? Because the attachment between infants or toddlers and their principal caregiver actually affects the development of their brain.

WHY CHILDREN OF BROKEN HOMES THINK IT'S THEIR FAULT

If they don't form that all-important secure attachment to their mother, or if it is worn away by constant handovers from one parent to the other without a sense of a secure home in the background, the break-up will leave them vulnerable to lifelong feelings of insecurity and anxiety.

Many people assume that as long as they get acceptable physical care, babies and toddlers are too little to be affected by family breakdown.

That's absolutely not the case. Physical care isn't all these very young children need; they also need emotional care, the tuned-in sensitivity which, because it starts while the baby is still in the womb, usually comes first from mothers.

When that emotional care is compromised by the adult agonies of separation, even tiny babies can become depressed, though their parents may put their increased crying down to a new tooth coming through.

Most toddlers get anxious about separation from mum, but children of divorce may go on to develop what we call 'separation anxiety disorder.'

This isn't just a matter of crying when mum leaves them at nursery; it's about much more severe anxieties, such as panicking when they're left upstairs alone in bed, or even when they just think about you leaving the house without them.

If the condition takes hold, a child will feel unable to cope with the ordinary separations of going to school or out with friends. Unless they and their parents get timely help from a psychotherapist, they may always be liable to anxiety and grow up to be adults who over-react to quite minor stresses.

Perhaps more astonishingly, it's not only children's emotional development or their mental health as an adult that will be at risk. We now know that mental stress causes biochemical changes in the body, meaning that they may also be more liable to physical illnesses too, including heart disease and cancer.

So how do you know when a child is old enough and secure enough to be ready to stay overnight with the other parent? In my view, they need to be over two, although the answer depends almost entirely on the father's relationship with the child.

Is the child attached to Dad as well as to Mum? You can often get an idea by observing what happens if children fall down or bang their head when both parents are in the room. Do they always go to one parent for comfort, or are they happy to go to either?

Even if a child is school age, no good will come from a father insisting that equal time and overnight stays are spent with him if the mother has always done 95 per cent of the parenting.

You may be a dad full of love, but you won't do well by your six-year-old if you don't know the name of her best friend, which class she's in at school or what she likes for breakfast.

And if she doesn't want to come with you, but has to be peeled off her mother's thigh and plonked in your car, howling, what she will remember when the next visit is due is not the lovely time you had together for the next 36 hours, but that panic‑stricken parting.

You need to give yourself time to get to know her and learn her daily life before you start insisting: 'I want her for half the summer holidays.'

WHY DADS REALLY DO MATTER

It's difficult to write about babies' need for their mothers without risking the wrath of campaigning fathers' rights groups. So be it.

But let me be totally clear. For all my reservations about sharing out children's days and nights in those early years to suit parents' interests rather than children's, I believe it is absolutely vital that fathers spend time with their children and keep in regular contact with them at all times.

This can be in the form of daytime visits to the mother's home when children are very small, until they are old enough to stay with their father overnight.

There is masses of new research that shows the crucial importance of fathers to children from infancy through to adult life.

If you have a close relationship with your father when you're a child, you will do better at school, have more friends, pass more exams, get a better job when you grow up and have a better social life.
Many children worry about the absent parent. For young children, in particular, exclusion from the safety of home and family seems a horrendous exile. The fact that Dad left voluntarily is beyond their comprehension.

Three to ten-year-olds, in particular, ask: 'Where will Daddy sleep? Who will cook his supper? Who is looking after Daddy? Isn't he lonely? Doesn't he miss us? Has he got a television? Will he watch Dr Who?'

As soon as possible, children should be taken to see for themselves that Daddy's new home is 'all right'.

The mothers (and fathers) who do their children the most damage are those who try to alienate children from the other parent. And, worryingly, recent changes in entitlement to legal aid appear to be encouraging this and making it more common.

Under reforms introduced in April 2014, a woman can get legal aid in the family courts only if she is seeking divorce because of domestic violence or child abuse.

That means that in an acrimonious wrangle with their ex, some women will allege that the child is in need of protection from their father - perhaps hinting that he's a potential sexual abuser.

Child protection is the court's priority so even a hint is enough to trigger a long legal battle, during which Dad can no longer see his child. Months apart will really endanger their relationship.

I don't believe any mother should ever try to airbrush a child's father from his life, even if he really has done something truly bad. Children have an absolute right to the best possible relationship with both parents.

HOW OLDER CHILDREN SUFFER TOO

In most cases, the father of your children was a good enough Daddy while you were together. And if he was a good father last week, before he told you he was having an affair, he's not going to stop being a good father next week.

Whatever problems a couple have, whatever the reasons for their fury, resentment and pain, the needs of their children simply have to come first. Their future - and, therefore, society's future - depends on it.

In America, it's actually against the law to alienate children from the other parent, and the charge can even carry a prison sentence.

That's not the case in the UK, but if 'emotional abuse' becomes a crime, as the present Government is proposing, that may change.

Maintaining contact is crucial, even if it doesn't mean sharing physical access equally. When one parent - let's be realistic and say the father --moves out and is no longer there to do the parenting things he used to do, like read the bedtime story, he really is lost to the child.

Lots of visits in the daytime, however, together with plenty of discussion about where he is living and what he is doing, will help, so that over time, both father and child can hang on to, or form, the loving relationship that is so vital to all children's well-being.

BE HONEST - EVEN WHEN IT'S HARD

As many as one in five parents going through a separation tell the children very little more than: 'He's gone and good riddance.'

But children whose parents discuss what's happening with them, and ask how it makes them feel, not only survive the immediate shock better but also adapt more easily to the new circumstances.

Trying to pretend that everything's just the same (when it clearly is not) will only increase their uneasiness and sense of insecurity.

Furthermore, if you don't tell them why Mummy and Daddy are no longer together, they'll invent reasons for themselves - and their fantasies will probably be worse than the reality.

The truth - perhaps that he, or you, has fallen in love with somebody else, or that you can't stand the drinking or the gambling any more - may seem brutal. But half-truths or lies will eventually be exposed, and then the children will have to face not only the painful reality, but also the fact that you are not to be trusted.

And there's another thing you must tell your children, however difficult the pain of a break-up makes it to say: both of you still love them.

Family Breakdown by Penelope Leach is published by Unbound, price £12.99. To buy a copy (ISBN - 9781783520497) for £8.99 plus p&p, order online at http://unbound.co.uk/books/family-breakdown and use the promotion code DM2FAM at checkout.

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The toxic truth about DIVORCE all parents must confront

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No matter how civilized, divorce always makes children unhappy Even well-intentioned parents can cause lasting damage, including anxiety Divorce may make it hard for children to form secure relationships A child of divorced parents herself, Penelope offers parents advice on how to spare their children long-term pain Child psychologist Penelope Leach has been helping guide and support parents for nearly 40 years.

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I found a letter to a dad asking if they can still call him dad

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I found a letter to a dad asking if they can still call him dad

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This is a article about a little girl who send a letter to her dad asking him if she can still call her his dad as they haven't spoke in a long time. I will be using this in my production as it shows how children are effected by a loss of their dads and will stilll be affected when they are older.

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Can I still call you Dad? It has been more than 10 years since I last saw you. Unless you can class the time you walked past me in the shopping centre as seeing you. I just thought I'd write you a letter and let you know what's happened to your "family" since the night you walked out.

Your wife? Well, she's a mess. Pretty much a shell of the person she used to be. I think she is just waiting to die. That's what it feels like to me. Do you know what it's like to watch someone you care about fall into a pit of depression and despair? There is nothing I can do or say to help her.

Your son. Do you remember him? I think he has started to come to terms with you leaving. He was a mess when you left. Well, he was only 12. I hate to say it, but he really needed you. The most defining point in a young boy's life, and you missed it all. Do you remember he tried to keep in contact with you? I mean you did try for a while didn't you? Do you remember what you said the last time you spoke to him? That you weren't a father? Strange saying that to your son. But hey ho. I'm not a parent, I clearly don't understand the definition of a father.

And then there's me. I thought I was fine. You left, so I cut you out of my life right then and there. Simple. You tried to keep in contact - well you sent a few texts - but I wanted nothing to do with you. I realised about a year later that I wasn't fine. Apparently keeping things bottled up isn't a good idea. I broke down at work. I couldn't stop crying. I wasn't making sense. There was so much I wanted to say but I couldn't find the words. A stream of madness dribbled from my mouth. Work sent me home.

You have caused so much damage, I will never be able to forgive you. You have never told us the truth

I didn't tell Mum why I was home so early, and still haven't. I haven't told anyone. I didn't want anyone to think I was weak, that I missed you. I didn't want you to win. I didn't want you to think I needed you. That there was some gap in my life now you had gone. I didn't want you to think you had an impact on me. But of course you did. You were my dad.

There is so much damage you have caused that I will never be able to forgive you. Not only the affair that lasted years and years behind Mum's back, but the fact that you lied about it constantly. Even after you left, you still lied. To this day, you have never told us the truth. Do we not deserve that? No. Because it's easy for you, isn't it? You have your new family. Our new little half-sister, who is about 10. Couldn't even tell us that could you? Will she ever know the truth?

I was invited to a wedding shortly after you left. I had no idea the sort of impact that day would have on me. It was a family wedding. But seeing everyone happy and together, the bride with her father, I had to leave. I needed to get out of there. I caused a rift in the family for the way I behaved. I left just after the ceremony and sat at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere and cried my eyes out. I wanted help for how I was feeling but had no one to turn to. You did that. You hurt me.

I've seen you on Facebook. Laughing and joking in videos with her. I don't suppose you tell people about us do you? Do you know how that feels? You have taken my childhood memories away. You took my family away. Were we ever happy as kids? All I see is the misery and destruction you left behind.

You will have no part in my future. You will not walk me down the aisle. You will never meet your future grandchildren. You are nothing to me. You are less than nothing.
Your firstborn

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A letter to ... My dad, whom I haven't seen for 10 years

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Can I still call you Dad? It has been more than 10 years since I last saw you. Unless you can class the time you walked past me in the shopping centre as seeing you. I just thought I'd write you a letter and let you know what's happened to your "family" since the night you walked out.

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This girl has showed a diary of when her mum and step dad divorced.
This relates to my idea as I'm going to do a diary but in a video version. This will be very useful to me as I will get ideas of this and create something that will be different and grab attention more then this does.

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For Sara, 18, life took an unexpected turn when her mum and step-dad decided to divorce three years ago. Here's her story, direct from her personal diary.

For Sara, 18, life took an unexpected turn when her mum and step-dad decided to divorce three years ago. Here's her story, direct from her personal diary.

I miss my step-Dad so much. It's really hard coping without him. All Mum does is sleep and she looks sick all the time. I've started helping her out with the cooking and chores and looking after my brother and sister. I'm worried about her.

I used to be so close to Mum but she's not the same anymore. She's so distant and doesn't communicate with anyone around her. I think this letter from the bank is really getting to her. I walked through the house today to see what we could sell to make this month's payment. But even if we make this month, what about the next month and the one after that? If we lose the house, what will happen to us? Will we end up on the streets? I think I need to find a job.

When the sheriff knocked on the front door, all I did was cry. My Mum has nowhere to go and all our things have gone into storage, which we can barely afford. The sheriff made Mum sign a paper and stand a couple of metres away from our driveway for a minute. That was so painful. I'll never forget that moment. Ever.

I skipped a class the other day. My friend noticed I wasn't there and I ended up telling her everything. She was shocked but so supportive. She encouraged me to see the school counsellor.

If you're finding it difficult to come to terms with your parents separating, get help at kidshelpline.com.au or speak to your school counsellor or a trusted adult.

Model is in no way associated with this story

Related video: DOLLY Respect Day

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For Sara, 18, life took an unexpected turn when her mum and step-dad decided to divorce three years ago. Here's her story, direct from her personal diary. For Sara, 18, life took an unexpected turn when her mum and step-dad decided to divorce three years ago. Here's her story, direct from her personal diary.

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Children show their stories about a divorce they are going through or went through

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Children show their stories about a divorce they are going through or went through

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This is a article about people personally telling us how a divorce effected them. This is good for my production as this is basically what I'm doing for my production. This will be good for me as I can look at what these people have included when explaining it and see what I can do differently o make mine stand out from these ones.

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Nowadays, divorce is increasingly the norm

Director Olly Lambert thinks the children of divorce are often forgotten

His documentary reveals how disintegrating marriages affect children

Tasha is one of a number of children and young adults appearing in a BBC TV documentary shown tonight describing, with almost unbearable honesty, the real effect a disintegrating marriage has on children like her.
Scroll down for trailer
I can still recall the sight of my boy dissolving, sobbing, still not believing that his parents would no longer live together.

I remember the message he recorded on his little cassette player, how he begged his dad to come back - and in turn the hackneyed platitudes delivered by the man who never understood, never wanted to understand, what he did to his child.

I did my best to protect and steer my son through our divorce, but all too rarely are children caught in the middle of a divorce told why it is happening. And while some parents claim such an attitude is to protect them, in reality, of course, it's the adults whose interests and emotions are protected.

Like my son, Tasha Barrett, from Croxley, near Watford, was only ten when her life fell apart on 'a crazy night'. Her father, Glen, was 'cool', she says - a rock DJ who once spun the decks for heavy metal group Def Leppard.

'A third of British children now live with only one of their parents.'

Now an attractive young girl of 14, she was nine when her mother, Sue, whisked her away from her dad, Terry, a building site manager, without explanation.

Only now does Sue confess to the programme that she considered the marriage, so precious to her daughter, to be 'dead'. And so she bolted, taking Natasha - and all the furniture - with her.

Sadly, children are all too ready to blame themselves when their parents can't make marriages work or last. But boys handle the pain and confusion differently from girls.

' You need a dad, an actual figure in the chain of life.'

Nine years after his parents separated, Darryl Litchfield, a sturdy and uncommonly serious 19-year-old, from Northampton, has only just accepted his parents are not getting back together.

Edward Allport-Bryson, 21, is finally moving on, too. His mum, Helen, rightly threw out his father Alfie, who admits he was a drunk, violent and abusive, when Edward was only 18 months old.

Disabled by grief, fury and loss of faith, he raged: 'He never told me, never thought to consider me or my brothers and sisters, to think about how important our family is to us. We asked for a family meeting but they won't. I can't do my school work, can't sleep, eat. And they tell me it just happens.

'You come out of it but are never yourself again. I am insecure, mistrustful, cry easily, expect the worst, break up with men before it gets serious. They did this to me. It's true, your mum and dad they f*** you up.'

Luckily for me and my son, I met and married a wonderful man just two years after my first husband left me, a marriage that endures to this day. We have a daughter, who's now 20.

As for me, seeing such damage first-hand has made me value a secure family life more than ever before. I just pray we will all get to the end intact.
Yasmin Alibhai-Brown is a weekly columnist for the Independe nt. Mum And Dad Are Splitting Up is on BBC2 tonight at 9pm.

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What divorce really does to children - in their own shattering words: If you're divorced, or thinking about it, their testimony will shake you to the core

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Nowadays, divorce is increasingly the norm Director Olly Lambert thinks the children of divorce are often forgotten His documentary reveals how disintegrating marriages affect children Tasha is one of a number of children and young adults appearing in a BBC TV documentary shown tonight describing, with almost unbearable honesty, the real effect a disintegrating marriage has on children like her.

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The changes of children emotionally and in behaviour

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The changes of children emotionally and in behaviour

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This is a screenshot about what emotional and behavioural problems children get when their parents get divorced. These will help me in my production as I will be explaining some of these emotional problems in detail within my production

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This is a screenshot of how children are affected emotionally by divorce. For example children feel rejected as now one of their parents are gone they are worried I one parent can go the other one can go swell. This will help me with my production a is will be explaining these affects personally as I have witnessed some of these myself.

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How divorce makes children change behaviour

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How divorce makes children change behaviour

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This is another article I found about the effects divorce can have on children and the children behaviour.

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Divorce or separation of parents - the impact on children and adolescents

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Divorce or separation of parents - the impact on children and adolescents: up to date and easy to read information by the Royal College of Psychiatrists as part of the Mental Health and Growing Up factsheet series

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Divorce and how it makes children change

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Divorce and how it makes children change

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This is a article explains 7 ways a divorce of parents effects the children involved between them. This is good for my production as in my production I will be explaining what its like for me as a teenager with divorced parents. I will be able to describe these ways on a personal level.

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If you're a parent considering divorce, fear of the unknown can drive you nuts. How will this affect the kids, you wonder. Will their grades slip? Will they hate me for putting them through this mess? Is this going to scare them off marriage and commitment for the rest of their lives?

That said, hearing how actual children of divorce fared may quiet some of your worries. We've gathered seven of the most interesting responses from a Reddit thread asking kids with divorced parents to share how the split affected them in the long run. See what they had to say below:

They acted out at school, but took on more responsibility at home.
One Redditor said he already had bullying tendencies growing up. Watching his parents' marriage fall apart only made things worse.

"My parents divorce increased [my bullying] tenfold," he wrote, "But after a couple weeks, I started feeling depressed and became really quiet and shy. It was tough being 10 years old and not understanding why your dad has to leave and why your mother cries herself to sleep at night."

The one silver lining to the split? He stepped up his game as a big brother. "My younger sister was even more confused than me, so seeing her scared turned me into a super protective and loving big brother," he said.

They felt a sense of relief.
Some said they spent their teen years wishing their parents would divorce. "My parents never got divorced because they're Catholic," one Redditor wrote. "That said, once she finally did leave him, I was relieved. I can remember thinking when I was a teenager that I hated him and wished he would just disappear. It was just a shame I had to wait until my early 20s for it to happen."

They felt the financial strain of living in a single parent household.
Another Redditor said money struggles were a constant in her household. After the divorce, the Redditor, his mom and his sister moved into a one-bedroom apartment and his mom worked tirelessly to make ends meet. Two jobs was the norm, but sometimes she picked up a third.

"It was all in order to give us a good life, which she absolutely did," the Redditor wrote. "We may not have had the best clothes or everything we wanted, but she always tried to give us everything she could, and we never went hungry."

Watching his mom sacrifice for her kids made him respect her more than ever, he said. "At the end of the day, my mom is incredibly heroic for raising us on her own. I don't even care that I barely hear from my dad."

They played the blame game.
Life as you know it changes when your parents split up. It's only natural for a kid to rebel against the change in some way, as one Redditor admitted he did.

"I went off the rails," he wrote. "I refused to take responsibility for my own actions and blamed them for everything. I bought into the pity and coddling of those around me. Typical childish response, I know."

They struggled with the divorce, even as adults.
Waiting to divorce until the kids are grown and out of school doesn't necessarily make it any easier, as one Redditor's experience suggests.

"I was 29 when my parents divorced, and I'd been living away from home for almost half that time... but it still hurt," she said. "Especially because my father is a jerk who waited until my youngest brother turned 18 to officially leave my mother."

They didn't take kindly to one parent badmouthing the other.
A Redditor whose mom had primary custody after the divorce said weekends spent with her dad were something she came to dread. "The hardest part was listening to all the crap he said about my mom. He still does it to this day."

She added: "My dad always told me that I was manipulative and playing games with him. It took me more than 18 years to figure out I wasn't a manipulative, game-playing control freak. I was the daughter of one."

They were happy to see their parents thrive after the divorce.
One Redditor said her parents' divorce was"distressing" at first, but seeing how happy they were living separate lives convinced her it was ultimately for the best.

"My dad especially seems to be excelling at life now," she said. "He is more outgoing and independent than I've ever seen him. Before, we never had anything to talk about but now he likes to tell me about all the new things he's doing and all the friends he's making. I now realize that this is the best thing they could have done for themselves."
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7 Ways Divorce Affects Kids, According To The Kids Themselves

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If you're a parent considering divorce, fear of the unknown can drive you nuts. How will this affect the kids, you wonder. Will their grades slip? Will they hate me for putting them through this mess? Is this going to scare them off marriage and commitment for the rest of their lives?

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This is my powerpoint I made about the effects on children when parents get divorced. It explains their behaviour and why it changes when parents gets divorced and also it explains how schools work gets affected when parents divorce making this children less concentrated on school and more concentrated on what is going o at home between their parents

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This is some statistics that show the children of a divorce feel about their parents divorce. These will help me as within this set of statistics children explain that they worry about their parents meeting again and some say they would be a completely different person if their parents didn't get divorced.

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How children are affected by divorce is a question of huge importance to your children and, of course, to you. Sadly, experts sometimes are confused about how divorce affects children, and they can offer parents conflicting advice. That's why I emphasize what research tells us in The Truth about Children and Divorce .

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This is a article about long distance parenting, this relates to me as my dad is trying his best to be my dad even though he is 3 hours away in a car as he lives in Norfolk. this article explain why parents go away and it also explains how the communication between parents and children is key even though it hard to do when parents are far away.

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Long distance parenting is one of the most difficult challenges facing divorced parents and their children. And yet, it is a very real experience for countless numbers of divorced families. We live in a mobile society. It is estimated that in North America the average family changes residences every five years. And many families move even more frequently. When parents are together, moving their family isn't usually seen as a problem. The problem occurs when parents are divorced and one parent is required to become a long distant parent.
Why Do Parents Relocate?

Long distance parenting occurs for a variety of reasons. Among them are the following:

Long Distance Parenting and Your Child

While all of the reasons listed above for initiating a move away from one parent may be at the very least valid and in many cases necessary, it is important for parents contemplating a relocation to also understand that there are consequences for their children. Children rely on their parents to make good decisions on their behalf. And they have no choice but to abide by those same decisions.

When one parent initiates a relocation that relegates the other parent to being a long distance parent, children also become long distance children. The relationship they have with their distant parent will very likely change. Here are some of the things your children may experience with a long distance parenting situation:

The parent-child relationship becomes more formal. Times together must be scheduled in advance and leave little opportunity for spontaneous moments of closeness that often occur in otherwise mundane day-to-day activities. For example, there are fewer opportunities for those heart-to-heart talks that happen on the drive home from an activity or while working on a project together. Spontaneity isn't so easy accomplished for the long distance parent.

Children lose out on having both parents in their cheering section - attending their events, checking in with school and homework, and generally knowing the details of their lives on a daily basis. This is a huge loss for kids.

Children lose the balance that having two parents provides. It is well documented that fathers and mothers provide different perspectives and experiences for their children. Both perspectives are valuable and necessary for children to thrive. When one parent becomes a long distance parent, he/she tends to have less influence on how their child is raised.

Children frequently lose contact with the long distance parent's extended family, which for children is yet another significant loss.

Children typically have to travel to spend time with their long distance parent. They rack up hundreds of hours of travel time either on the road or in the air. This takes them away from their friends and daily routines. It also means that they may not be able to fully participate in sports or other extracurricular activities that occur on a weekly basis. And it makes seeing the other parent a BIG DEAL, instead of a regular part of the daily round.

Some children feel abandoned by the parent who is not with them. Others blame themselves that a parent is not there. And others feel responsible and guilty for abandoning a parent by moving away. None of these are healthy reactions for children and may have far-reaching consequences for their adjustment and mental health.

Making Long Distance Parenting Work
If, after considering all of the alternatives, there is no choice but to initiate a move, then both parents must work to ensure that the relationship between the parent at a distance and their child continues. This is no easy task. It requires focus, integrity, compassion and a commitment to the parent-child relationship. And frankly, sometimes after a divorce those attributes are in short supply. But as you keep your focus squarely placed on your children and what they need in order to thrive, it becomes easier to take the actions that will meet their needs.
Communication is Key
When parents are living in the same household, communication is relatively easy. And even if the communication isn't great, proximity helps. If you see your kids every day you know when they are sick, if they got a haircut or a body part pierced! You know how school is going, who their friends are, what they like to do in spare time etc. Proximity also helps parents communicate with each other. One parent may be in charge of handling more of the details of raising the kids, but one way or another they communicate necessary information like school conferences, sports details, concerts and programs and the like. (Yes, I know that there are some families where one parent doesn't know these things, in fact doesn't even have a clue, but in my experience this is the exception rather than the rule.)

When parents divorce, this automatic communication about daily life changes. Sometimes it ends. If parents are hurt, angry or just not interested in communicating, the parent who lives away from the kids misses out on a lot of information.

And when one parent is a long distance parent, the flow of information about kids trickles down to almost nothing - unless both adults make it a point to communicate on a regular basis.

Communication Tips for Long Distance Parents
As the long distance parent, you must work to maintain your relationship with your child. You may feel angry that this task falls on your shoulders since you may not have initiated the move in the first place. It's easy to feel like a victim and spend your energy blaming. But I don't advise it! Instead, take heart, because being a long distance parent does not mean that you will automatically disappear from your child's life. It just requires some creativity and cooperation to pull it off successfully. Here are a few tips to help.

Remain interested and involved in your child's life. Make it a point to know the names of the adults who interact with your child: teachers, coaches, scout leaders, other parents, neighbors etc. Similarly, know the names of your child's closest friends. Take an interest in homework (this can often be viewed online), and other activities that interest your child.

Remember that as the adult and thus it is your responsibility to initiate contact with your child. Don't sit passively by, waiting for you child to call you or send an e-mail. You take the lead! And on the same subject, try not to take it personally if your child doesn't call you right back or only stays on the phone for a few minutes. This is pretty normal for kids and usually has nothing to do with you.

Initiate a regular schedule for contact and follow it faithfully. If you say you're going to call, call. If you are going to send an e-mail, do it. Keep your word. All relationships are built on trust and predictability. Your child needs to be able to count on you following through. In marketing there is a phrase called "top of mind awareness" or TOMA. As a long distance parent you want to take the kind of communication steps that give you top of mind awareness with your child. That means regular, predictable, positive contact.

When talking with your child, try to avoid asking questions that will yield yes, no or one-word answers. They can be pretty frustrating for a parent, not to mention very short! For example, instead of asking "Did you have fun at school today?" which is likely to get you a yes or no and then silence, ask "What was your favorite activity at school today?" At least now, you're likely to get some information. And if you know the projects your child is working on, or the homework he has, you can tailor your questions. For example, "What did your teacher think of your report on France?"

Never use your communication time with your child to grill her about the other parent and things that are going on in the other household. Keep your child out of the middle.

Think beyond the telephone when it comes to connecting with your child. If your child is old enough to have access to a computer, get an e-mail relationship going. You can send cards, exchange photos and forward information that will be of interest to your child as well as just say hi. Consider adding web-cam visits to your tool box of communication. While virtual visitation will never take the place of face-to-face time, it's great to be able to see your child and have a "real time" conversation. Of course you will need to coordinate this with the other parent. If you have questions about virtual visitation, please have a look here.

In this age of high-tech communication, don't forget about good old fashioned snail mail. Kids love to receive mail. Send cards, letters, postcards and an occasional "care package." Nothing beats the thrill of opening mail that was sent just for you.

Connect around a theme. For instance, watch the same television program and then talk or e-mail afterward. Share a passion for a sports team, read the same book and then discuss it, play chess or other games by mail or online.

Maintain a positive attitude with your child. If you feel the need to encourage better grades or improved behavior, make sure you balance those comments with positive ones. Try for a ratio of 5 good comments to 1 "do better" comment. The simple truth is that kids are no different than adults. None of us wants to hear how bad we are or what a poor job we are doing.

Stay in contact with your child's other parent and respect their house rules. Clear things with the other parent before mentioning them to your child.

Tips for the Other Parent
Since your child is living with you, it becomes your responsibility to support the relationship between your child and her long distance parent. You don't have to do all of the work - just your 50%. The other 50% belongs to the long distance parent. Here are some suggestions that will help you in your important role.

Never badmouth the other parent to your child -even if you are unhappy with something he or she has said or done. Tell the other parent, not your child. You can subtly (or sometimes not so subtly) influence the success or failure of your child's relationship with the long distance parent. Make sure your motives are honorable. Your kids need that from you.

Support the long distance parent's attempts to stay in touch with your child. For example, see that your child is available for a telephone call if one is scheduled. Or set up an e-mail account for your child so that he can have a way to be in touch with the other parent. Make time for virtual visits and give your child privacy and space to spend time with the other parent. See to it that all mail from the other parent is given promptly to your child. Support plans to read the same book or watch a program on television. Offer your own suggestions about other possibilities for joint communication.

Share information with the long distance parent. Make it easy for them to get information from school, physicians, coaches etc. Consider investing in one of the online programs that have been developed for divorced parents. A great one is Our Family Wizard at www.ourfamilywizard.com. With it you can provide information about your child that the other parent can access day or night, and vice-versa. There is even a way for kids to add information, with password protection for other areas so that they don't see everything. Parents who have information tend to be more involved and feel more connected to their children.

Help keep the other parent "alive" for your child. Give your child a photograph of the other parent and display it in your child's bedroom. Allow your child to talk about the other parent. I once worked with a family where the children were not allowed to say the word "dad" in front of their mother. Yikes!! That was really hard on them. Follow Thumper's rule - "If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all."

Keep your word about parenting time and follow the parenting plan agreements you've made. Do your part to handle travel arrangements and getting your children ready to transition to the other parent. Let your children know that you want them to spend time with their other parent. Take all burdens off of your children as they travel to see the other parent. Make it easy and positive.

With a little planning and cooperation, long distance parenting doesn't have to be the end of the world of parenting. Stay positive and above all else, show up for your child.

From long distance parenting back home

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Long distance parenting is one of the most difficult challenges facing divorced parents and their children. And yet, it is a very real experience for countless numbers of divorced families. We live in a mobile society. It is estimated that in North America the average family changes residences every five years.