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Grades 6–12 Family Tips: Media Balance & Well-Being

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Teen Voices: Dealing With Digital Drama video

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Teen Voices: Dealing With Digital Drama video

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Teen Voices: Dealing with Digital Drama | Common Sense Education

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Teen Voices: Dealing with Digital Drama is a video from Common Sense Education. Use this video to help your students learn and thrive in our connected world.

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Help your kids stop multitasking during homework

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Help your kids stop multitasking during homework

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6 Ways to Help Your Kids Stop Multitasking During Homework

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Common Sense Media editors help you choose Sites That Help Kids Do Good. Encourage social responsibility in kids.

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Teen Voices: The Pressure to stay Connected video 

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Teen Voices: The Pressure to stay Connected video 

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Students hear what other teens have to say about how digital media has them feeling "hooked," then think critically about their own digital media use.

(To view subtitles in Spanish and English, click on the white box at the bottom right of the video.)

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Teen Voices: The Pressure to Stay Connected | Common Sense Education

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Teen Voices: The Pressure to Stay Connected is a video from Common Sense Education. Use this video to help your students learn and thrive in our connected world.

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As tweens and teens start sharing content and engaging with others online, it's important for them to understand the tracks they're leaving behind and what those tracks might reveal. Parents can help guide kids toward creating the kind of footprint they can be proud of.

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Grades 6-12 Family Tips: Digital Footprint & Identity

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As tweens and teens start sharing content and engaging with others online, it's important for them to understand the tracks they're leaving behind and what those tracks might reveal. Parents can help guide kids toward creating the kind of footprint they can be proud of.

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Teen Voices: Presenting Yourself Online | Common Sense Education

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Common Sense is the nation's leading nonprofit organization dedicated to improving the lives of all kids and families by providing the trustworthy information, education, and independent voice they need to thrive in the 21st century.

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Cyberbullying is something most families hope they never have to deal with. But if your kids are texting, sharing photos, and posting comments, it's important to talk to them about how to deal with online harassment. Learn 5 ways to stop cyberbullies.

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Jump to navigation Cyberbullying is something most families hope they never have to deal with. But if your kids are texting, sharing photos, and posting comments, it's important to talk to them about how to deal with online harassment. Learn 5 ways to stop cyberbullies.

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Teen Voices: Who You're Talking to Online video

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Teen Voices: Who You're Talking to Online video

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Students hear from teens about the benefits and drawbacks of presenting themselves differently (or even anonymously) to others online, and consider what it means to "be yourself" in digital spaces.

(To view subtitles in Spanish and English, click on the white box at the bottom right of the video.)

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Teen Voices: Who You're Talking to Online | Common Sense Education

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Students hear from teens about the benefits and drawbacks of presenting themselves differently (or even anonymously) to others online, and consider what it means to "be yourself" in digital spaces. (To view subtitles in Spanish and English, click on the white box at the bottom right of the video.)

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Parent Concerns: Cyberbullying, Haters & Trolls

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Parent Concerns: Cyberbullying, Haters & Trolls

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What should I do if my kid is bullied online?

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What should I do if my kid is bullied online? Get expert advice and tips from Common Sense Media editors.

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5 signs your kid has a healthy relationship with screens

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5 signs your kid has a healthy relationship with screens

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What is TikTok? How safe is TikTok? How does TikTok work? Is TikTok appropriate for kids? What age is TikTok recommended for? Can kids under 13 use TikTok? How can you make your TikTok account private? How can I use TikTok with my kids? How do you do a duet on TikTok?

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If you have tweens or teens, you know about Snapchat. And if you can't figure out how it works, you're like many parents. One of the most popular social media apps out there, Snapchat gives kids and teens what they really want: a simple way to share everyday moments while simultaneously making them look awesome. And unlike Facebook and Twitter, which record and broadcast everything you do, Snapchat uses messages that are meant to disappear (learn more about how they actually don't). Like so many social media apps, Snapchat is a mixed bag, so it's a good idea to understand how it works, how your kids use it, and how much time they spend on it so you can make sure their experiences are positive.

Something about snapping, sharing, and then quickly moving on from life's little moments has massive appeal for kids. And for the most part, that's what they use Snapchat for. But the app offers a lot more stuff, including games, news and entertainment, quizzes, and even serialized shows from top pop-culture brands.

With a constantly updated supply of photo filters, effects, and fun features, Snapchat feels like a party. But the app poses some risks: Snap Map lets friends see each other's location on a map, which isn't always safe; Snapstreaks requires kids to exchange messages for as long as possible, which is a major time-suck; Discover offers some age-inappropriate content; and Quick Add allows kids to connect with a wide circle of strangers. With your guidance on privacy, safety, social media pressure, and marketing, though, Snapchat can be a fun way for teens to connect. Check out our full review to get the whole scoop.

What is Snapchat?

Snapchat is a popular messaging app that lets users exchange pictures and videos (called snaps) that are meant to disappear after they're viewed. It's advertised as a "new type of camera" because the essential function is to take a picture or video, add filters, lenses, or other effects and share them with friends.

How does Snapchat work?

All you need to sign up is your name, an email address, and your birth date. On Snapchat, users go by a handle, and Snapchatters gravitate toward silly names. To add friends, you can upload your contacts or search for people you know. You can also automatically add someone by taking a picture of their " Snapcode," a special QR code unique to each user.

After that, things get a little confusing. On Snapchat, photos -- not text -- usually start the communication. To begin a conversation, you tap the big camera circle and take a snap. There are all sorts of photo-editing tools (you have to experiment to figure out what they do) as well as filters to adorn your images. Once you customize your snap, you can send it to anyone on your friends list, add it to your story (which is a record of the day that your friends can view for 24 hours), and add it to Snap Map (which displays your photo on a map of your location that can be viewed by anyone on Snapchat).

Snapchat provides several options for texting and managing photos. In addition to individual texting, Snapchat also offers group texting and group stories that everyone in a group can contribute to. You can delete the text messages you send, though in a group chat the other people will see that you've deleted something. In terms of Snaps, you can delete unopened ones that use a saved picture (not taken on the spot). You can't delete snaps that include pictures you just took (and didn't save).

How old do you have to be to use Snapchat?

According to the terms of service, users must be 13. You have to enter your birth date to set up an account, but there's no age verification, so it's easy for kids under 13 to sign up. Common Sense Media rates Snapchat OK for teens 16 and up, mainly because of the exposure to age-inappropriate content and the marketing ploys, such as quizzes, that collect data.

Do messages really disappear on Snapchat?

It depends. If you set a time limit on a snap, it will disappear after it's viewed. However, recipients can take a screenshot of an image using their phones or a third-party screen-capture app. A phone screen-capture will notify the sender that the image was captured. But third-party apps don't trigger a notification. For these reasons, it's best that teens understand that nothing done online is really temporary. Before sending a sexy or embarrassing snap of themselves or someone else, it's important to remember that the picture could circulate the school by tomorrow morning.

What are Snapstreaks?

With a Snapstreaks, two users have snapped back and forth within a 24-hour period for three days in a row. Once you've established a streak, special emojis and statistics display next to the streakers' names to show you how long you've maintained a streak. Why do they matter? For one thing, they add to your overall Snapchat score (basically a number that reflects how much you use the app). For another, they can occasionally become the most important thing in a kid's life. Because of the intense bonds kids can form over social media, they can feel that a Snapstreak is a measure of their friendship, and if they don't keep it up they'll let the other person down. Teens have even been known to give friends access to their Snapchat accounts to keep a streak going if they can't do it themselves (for example, if their phone gets taken away for being online too much). This can lead to feelings of pressure, anxiety, and compulsion, so it's good to know if your kid has streaks going to get a window into why that selfie might feel really important.

What's Snap Map?

Snap Map displays your location on a map in real time. Only your Snapchat friends can see where you are. If your friends have opted into Snap Map, you can see their locations, too. (You can turn this off or use it in Ghost Mode, which allows you to see the map but not be seen by others.) Snap Map also features news and events from around the world -- for example, a political rally in Nicaragua, which displays as an icon on a map of the world. Kids can submit snaps to the Snap Map, and their name and location could appear on a public map. But the bigger risk with Snap Map is a teen having their location seen by all their friends -- since some of their Snapchat contacts may not be real friends. Unless there's a specific event and it makes it easier for friends to know each other's location, it's best to leave Snap Maps off or use it in Ghost Mode.

What's a Snapchat story?

A story is a collection of moments in the form of pictures and videos that, taken together, create a narrative. (After Snapchat popularized the format, other social media services, including Facebook and Instagram, offered story-creation tools, too.) On Snapchat, stories appear as circles, and when you tap them, they autoplay the pictures or videos the user collected. You can create personal stories that your friends can view for a 24-hour period. Or, if you think your Snap is particularly interesting or newsworthy, you can send it to Our Story. Our Stories are kind of like mini-documentaries of events, holidays, game championships, or other things happening in the world on a particular day. Snaps are curated and compiled by the company. While it's cool to have your story added to Our Story, it's also very public, so kids should think carefully before submitting one.

What's a Snapcode?

When you sign up, Snapchat gives you your own unique QR code. When you meet a fellow Snapchat user and want to friend each other, you can just take a snap of the other person's code, and they're automatically added to your friends list. Because it's so easy to find friends on Snapchat (depending on your settings) or exchange codes, teens may end up with virtual strangers on their friends list. For a variety of reasons, that can be risky, so it's best to talk to your teen about when it's safe to add people.

What's Discover?

Discover offers content created by celebrities, news and entertainment outlets, and other users. You can subscribe to specific Discover sources to receive their feeds. While Discover offers some legitimate news from publishers including the New York Times and Vice Media, the offerings can be promotional and are frequently mature or outlandish (such as people with extreme plastic surgery or rare medical conditions). But if your kid has signed up with their correct birth date, they'll miss the alcohol ads and other adult content that Snapchat filters out for underage users. Discover stories often feature promos prompting kids to "swipe up" to learn more (which usually leads to ads) or take a quiz (which is usually a marketing tool). This section runs the gamut from harmless to shocking, so it's good to look around and get a sense of what your kids are seeing.

What are Snapchat's other features?

Snapchat is waaaay more than cute photos. The more you use the app, the more points you get and the higher your Snapchat score goes. Snapchat awards high scorers with trophies and other perks. Here are a few other Snapchat features:

Cameos: These are animated GIFs featuring your selfie that you can send in a chat. Snapchat offers more than 150 video options to add your image to, including "duets" where you and a friend appear together.

Face lenses and world lenses: If you've seen photos of people with cartoon cat ears and whiskers on their faces, those are face lenses. World lenses are augmented reality elements, such as rainbows, that you can add to a snap of, say, the Eiffel Tower so it looks like it's part of the photo. Technically, lenses are "overlays" -- and they cost money on Snapchat.

Geo-filters: These are location-specific elements that can only be unlocked by visiting a specific place. Businesses use geo-filters as a way for customers to check in and advertise them. A kid could create a special geo-filter for their sweet-16 party for attendees to add to their photos.

Snapcash: Like PayPal or Venmo, Snapcash lets users transfer money to each other.

Memories: If you don't want your snaps to disappear, you can store them to send later. My Eyes Only is a way to save Memories behind a passcode so that no one else can see them.

Snapstore: This is exactly what it sounds like: a place to buy Snapchat-related items.

Shazam: A feature that helps you identify a song.

Snap Games: Co-play games with voice/text chat and ads, launched from the chat section to play with friends.

Snap Originals: These are short, serialized shows created exclusively for Snapchat in a wide range of formats from docuseries to talk shows, from the likes of BuzzFeed, the E! Network, and MTV.

Sounds: TikTok-like feature that allows users to include music with snaps.

Spotlight: This is another TikTok-like feature that aggregates snaps submitted by users into one giant feed. Once you send in a Spotlight, it's public and can be viewed by anyone on or off the platform.

Is Snapchat safe for tweens and teens?

Most kids use Snapchat to goof around and stay in contact with their friends -- end of story. Yes, there's some mature content, but it's appropriate for most teens 16 and up. That said, there are three key risky areas:

The myth of disappearing messages. When Snapchat first started, it was labeled " the sexting app" because people sent intimate photos, assuming they'd self-destruct. Any app can be misused, but a lot of kids mistakenly believe that Snapchat has a built-in Get Out of Jail Free card. Teens really need to understand that the content they share can be saved and shared and may never go away. It's best to have this conversation before they download Snapchat, but it's never too late. Talk about whether any of their friends have ever pressured them to send a sexy image and discuss why someone who would do that does not have your best interests at heart. Kids should also ask permission before sharing a picture of someone else.

The time suck. Snapchat is a ton of fun to use, and there's lots to discover on it. Snapstreaks and stories add a time-pressure element that makes kids feel like they have to check in. If it ever seems like your kid is stressing and not using the app for fun, it's time to step in.

Privacy and safety. Since it's so easy to add friends in Snapchat, you can end up with lots of people you don't know well on your friends list. And depending on your settings, the app can collect a ton of data about your habits in -- and outside of -- the app. Snapchat also works with a lot of third parties that they share your data with.

How do I monitor Snapchat and use the settings?

The biggest challenge for parents is that there's no way to see your kid's activity in the app in the same way as on other social media platforms. Since there's no feed to scroll through like on Instagram, for example, there's not much to monitor.

IIf you decide to say yes to Snapchat, focus on the privacy settings. Sit down with your kid and together go into the app's settings (the little gear icon next to your profile image). Scroll down to "Who Can..." This is where you can control important safety features such as who can see your location and who can view your story. This is a perfect time to talk to your kid about using their Snapchat account safely and responsibly. Discuss when and how often you'll check in on how they're using it and how they're feeling about it. Explain that you understand that social media is important to them, and, at the same time, your role is to protect them. Don't forget to ask your teen to show you some of their snaps and some of the cool features they like in the app. That'll make it a little less scary for you -- and send the message that you're on the same team.

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If you have tweens or teens, you know about Snapchat. And if you can't figure out how it works, you're like many parents. One of the most popular social media apps out there, Snapchat gives kids and teens what they really want: a simple way to share everyday moments while simultaneously making them look awesome.

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How to enjoy YouTube with your kids without feeling overwhelmed and confused. Advice from Common Sense Media editors.

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When you see a teen taking a selfie, chances are that picture will end up on social media. Often, that means Instagram, one of the most popular social image-sharing platforms in the world. What's all the fuss about?

Teens love Instagram for a lot of reasons, but most importantly, that's where their friends are. They can also keep tabs on their favorite celebrities, follow accounts that align with their interests, and, of course, maintain their own profile (or profiles) that present an image of themselves to their friends -- and sometimes to the world.

As with all social media, the elements that make teens love Instagram can also be breeding grounds for trouble. Depending on whom you follow or what you search for, you can find lots of mature content. And the comments on posts can be downright vicious, especially if an account is public. Then there's the pressure. Lots of kids feel that they have to maintain a perfect profile, so they're constantly scanning posts for likes and deleting ones that don't measure up. And they have to check their feeds all day (and sometimes at night) for updates from friends. Instagram also has a commercial aspect. Embedded ads, celebrity endorsements, and links to buy products are all over kids' feeds.

Still, with some guidance around settings, limits on use, and ongoing conversations about content and comments, Instagram can be a place for kids to connect and be creative. Check out our full review to get even more info.
What is Instagram?

How does Instagram work?

How old should kids be to use Instagram?

What kinds of content will my kid see on Instagram?

How can I monitor my kid's activity on Instagram?

What's the deal with "rinstas" and "finstas"?

Is there any way to limit or restrict my kid's activity on Instagram, including connecting with strangers?

How can my kid block or report other users on Instagram?

What should I do if it seems like my kid can't stop looking at Instagram?

What are some other risks associated with kids using Instagram?

Are there any potential benefits to my kid using Instagram? What is Instagram?
Instagram is a popular, free social networking app that lets users post photos and videos, follow celebrities and friends, and send messages. It's owned by Facebook but has a photo-forward format that's more appealing to teens.
How does Instagram work?
Once you create an account, you get your feed going by following friends and celebrities (Instagram helpfully suggests some for you). When you're ready to share a post, tap the plus sign and select what you want to share from your recent photos and videos. Depending on the media type you're sharing, you can choose from all sorts of filters and image-editing tools to make your post look cool. Then you add a caption and a hashtag if you wish (which categorizes all posts on the same topic together). You get the option of adding a location to your post, but it's not recommended that kids and teens use this function. Instagram offers a lot more features, too, including:

Direct messages (DMs). You can send direct messages to one or more people -- including people you don't follow and who don't follow you.

Disappearing messages. This is a Snapchat-like feature that lets you send timed photo or video messages that recipients can only view once before they disappear.

Stories. These are 15-second videos or slideshows that live in a circle separate from other posts. To create one, tap Your Story, tap the camera or scroll through your media, and swipe through the filters to add effects. Then select Send To to share your post on Instagram or Facebook, or with specific people or groups.

Instagram TV (IGTV).

These are longer-form videos programmed by Instagram (i.e., they're not by your friends or followers). Kids can also create their own IGTV channels and broadcast themselves, sort of like on YouTube.
How old should kids be to use Instagram?
According to the terms of service, you have to be 13, but there's no age-verification process, so it's very easy for kids under 13 to sign up. Common Sense rates Instagram for age 15 and up because of mature content, access to strangers, marketing ploys, and data collection. Check out our social media rules for high schoolers.
What kinds of content will my kid see on Instagram?
The kinds of content kids will see mostly depends on whom they follow: If they only follow friends and don't search for anything, they may see only pictures of their friends having fun. But kids rarely limit their feeds to people they know, so it's likely they'll see mature content (including sexy stuff, swearing, and substance use), mean or sexual comments, and hashtags about suicide, anorexia, and other concerning topics. If they follow celebrities, they'll probably also see marketing.
How can I monitor my kid's activity on Instagram?
You can ask your kid to give you a tour of their Insta. Ask them to walk you through their account, explain memes and comments, discuss friends, and share whatever comes up. Or try one of these ideas:

Create your own Instagram account and follow your kid. You'll see what they post (unless they block you), but you won't see their DMs (direct messages).

Follow their friends. It's not unusual for parents to be friends with their kids' friends online (but you should hold back on comments). If you're close with your kids' friends, you can follow each other and keep tabs on your kid's doings.

Ask for your kid's Instagram username and password. Then, you can log in as them and review their accounts.

Do spot checks. Either random or scheduled, these check-ins give you time to sit down together and go through your kid's feed.

Install a third-party monitoring app. Parental controls such as Bark give you a lot of visibility into what kids are doing online. Learn more about parental controls.

What's the deal with "rinstas" and "finstas"?
Rinstas and finstas are additional Instagram accounts that are completely separate from each other. Finsta stands for "fake Instagram," and these accounts reflect a kid's true self and are only meant for very close friends to see. Rinsta is a kid's "real" Instagram that's public-facing and highly curated, and they project the type of ideal online persona that's hard to achieve in reality. In other words, their "real" account is the public one everyone can find and see.

Not every kid maintains more than one account, but don't be alarmed if your kid does. Instagram allows users to keep up to five accounts. As long as they follow responsible social media practices such as using privacy settings, not posting things they'll regret, and limiting their audience, finstas and rinstas can be useful tools as kids go through the natural process of figuring out their identities.

To see whether your kid has more than one account, you'll need access to their phone. Go to their profile page by tapping the person icon at the bottom of the screen. Then tap the username at the top of the screen. If they have another account, you'll see it there. Another option is to stay logged in to their account(s) on your device so you can see all their activity. While you're at it, it's a good idea to make sure your kid's account names aren't too racy or revealing. Lots of kids include their ages, personal details, or even physical characteristics in their handles, but that can make them a target for predators as well as brands. Also, check to make sure your kid didn't create an account that's meant for a business. You'll know if the account information contains a phone number and an email address.
Is there any way to limit or restrict my kid's activity on Instagram, including connecting with strangers?
Instagram accounts are public by default, so the first thing to do is make your kid's private. To do this, go to Settings from your profile page. Select Privacy and toggle on Private Account. With a private account, only people you approve can see what you post. You get a lot of options in the Privacy section -- and you should spend some time here if you're helping your kid set up their first account. You can't lock Privacy settings, though, so be aware that kids can change them back. A few more key Instagram privacy settings:

Comment controls. You can limit comments to followers, block comments from specific people, hide "offensive" comments, and create specific filters for words and phrases.

Resharing to stories. You can control whether or not other people can reshare your posts.

Photos and videos. You can prevent people from automatically adding pictures of you to your profile without your approval and hide photos and videos so they don't display in your feed.

How can my kid block or report other users on Instagram?
Tap on the three dots next to the account name. You'll see options to report, mute, or unfollow that person. Another way to minimize interactions with someone is to use the Restrict option (in the Privacy settings) to screen someone's comments without them knowing. If a person is really determined, however, it's not hard for them to create a new account and start making contact with your kid under a different name.

Unfortunately, there are no easy fixes for some of Instagram's other bullying issues. The app tries to reduce potential problems by flagging comments that sound mean-spirited before they're posted -- which may make the person being aggressive think twice. But kids can still create "hate pages" that are designed to make fun of specific people or even imposter accounts that drag someone's reputation. You can report these types of accounts, but it can turn into a game of whack-a-mole -- and Instagram is notoriously unresponsive to reporting. Teach your kids when and how to use blocking and reporting (and make sure they know that they'll remain anonymous if they use any of Instagram's protective features). If you can't get rid of a bully, you may need more support from the school or other parents.
What should I do if it seems like my kid can't stop looking at Instagram?
All social media uses persuasive techniques to keep users engaged, and while it can help kids feel connected to friends and family -- especially during times of isolation like extended school breaks -- it's easy to get sucked in for longer periods than is healthy. If your teen has trouble logging off when they have other stuff to do or they just need a break, you can try using Instagram's Your Activity feature, which the company introduced to help people be more aware of the time they're spending on the app and to set limits for themselves. To get to Your Activity, go to the profile page, tap the three horizontal lines, select Your Activity, and then tap Time. You'll see your daily average, and you can set a time limit and get a reminder to stop. If your kid has mastered self-regulation, Your Activity may work to curb their use. If not, you can try using the parental controls built into your phone's operating system ( Screen Time on iOS or the Family Link app on Android) to block access and set time limits on all the apps on your kid's phone. A few other tricks: Adjust or turn off notifications completely to calm the need to check the phone every few minutes; and tell kids to stop scrolling once they see the "You're all caught up!" message that tells them there's no new content to see since the last time they checked.
What are some other risks associated with kids using Instagram?
Because Instagram is so image-based, kids who focus on external validation can get preoccupied with perfection, image, and status, which can negatively affect their well-being. It's not uncommon for some users to curate their feed for public consumption by uploading only photos and videos that show them at their best and by deleting posts that don't get a certain number of likes. And with so many filters and celebrities and posts of people having fun, it can definitely affect a teen's body image and sense of self. Some people even take risks to get the perfect shot, all for Instagram. To keep up, teens may post sexy pictures or reveal too much personal information. The effects of "influencers" are real, so knowing whom your kid follows and why might give you insight into who they admire and what products that person might be pushing (note that there's often a way to buy right from the app). As with any other social media app that includes likes and follows, some teens use those as a measuring stick and compare themselves to others. If your kid's activity on the app takes a turn from connection and fun to perfection and anxiety, it's time to take a break. Using it to scroll through other people's fabulous photos for long stretches every day without using it to joke with friends or send messages can make teens feel worse than when they opened the app.
Are there any potential benefits to my kid using Instagram?
Teens who use Instagram as a way to express themselves -- for example by posting art, poetry, and videos that showcase their talents -- tend to have positive experiences with the app. When used in balance with other activities and with purpose (not just endless, mindless scrolling), kids can come away from the app feeling connected and supported.

If you decide to let your teen use Instagram, there are some steps you can take to help them get the most positives and fewest negatives. You can sit down and go through the app and its settings with them, note your concerns, lay out the expectations and potential consequences, talk through whatever controls you might use (including spot checks), and set boundaries around when, where, how, and whom they can communicate with to get off to a solid start.

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When you see a teen taking a selfie, chances are that picture will end up on social media. Often, that means Instagram, one of the most popular social image-sharing platforms in the world. What's all the fuss about? Teens love Instagram for a lot of reasons, but most importantly, that's where their friends are.

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Search movies for the recommended age, parent and child reviews

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Search movies for the recommended age, parent and child reviews

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Movie Reviews - Kids Movies | Common Sense Media

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Read age-appropriate movie reviews for kids and parents written by our experts.

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Search games and apps for the recommended age, parent and child reviews.

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Search games and apps for the recommended age, parent and child reviews.

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Read age-appropriate game reviews for kids and parents written by our experts.

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Teen Voices: Oversharing and Your Digital Footprint | Common Sense Education

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Teen Voices: Oversharing and Your Digital Footprint is a video from Common Sense Education. Use this video to help your students learn and thrive in our connected world.

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Sneaky Science Behind our Tech Obsessions

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Sneaky Science Behind our Tech Obsessions

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Son won't turn off his video game? Daughter obsessed with "likes" on Instagram? It may not be entirely their fault. Like the high-octane sugar in a pint of Ben & Jerry's and that irresistible chemical spice in Flamin' Hot Cheetos, the ingredients in social media, video games, apps, and other digital products are carefully engineered to keep you coming back for more. While researchers are still trying to discover whether kids (and parents) can be addicted to technology, some computer scientists are revealing their secrets for keeping us hooked.

Resisting the urge to check your phone or shut down Netflix after another cliffhanger Stranger Things episode should be a simple matter of self-control. But according to so-called whistleblowers such as Tristan Harris, a computer scientist who founded the Time Well Spent movement, and Adam Alter, author of Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked, we humans are totally overpowered. Features such as app notifications, autoplay -- even "likes" and messages that self-destruct -- are scientifically proven to compel us to watch/check in/respond right now or feel that we're missing something really important.

Behind the apps, games, and social media is a whole crew of folks whose job is to make their products feel essential. Many of the techniques they use are ones outlined by experts in human behavior, including Nir Eyal author of Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products and BJ Fogg of Stanford University's Persuasive Technology Lab. Harris argues that these methods "hijack" our own good judgment. Most teens care deeply about peer validation, for example. So it makes sense that friends' feedback on social media -- both the positive and the negative -- would tug at you until you satisfy your curiosity. You have a phone in your pocket, so why not check now? And now. And now?

What do the big tech companies say to the criticism that they're designing addictive products? They typically give the business argument, that they're creating products people love to use and are constantly trying to improve people's experience ( Facebook says it polls users daily to gauge success). But soon it may be hard for the tech giants to say that they're blameless. More and more industry insiders -- including some who designed these attention-claiming features -- are coming forward to cry foul on digital manipulation and even to suggest ways companies can limit it. In fact, it's not just people who are going public. In 2017, a leaked Facebook internal memo showed how the social network can identify when teens feel "insecure," "worthless," and "need a confidence boost." That's not a problem "likes" can fix.

There is a way to fight back. Thanks to the folks who are calling out these methods, you can spot specific tricks and reflect on how they affect your thoughts and behavior. Remember: The other side wants to reduce the time between your thoughts and actions. Putting that pause in will help you resist your urges. Below are some of the key features designed to keep their grips on you. Also check out some ideas you and your kids can use to resist temptation.

Autoplay. Most notable on Netflix and Facebook, autoplay is the feature that makes videos continue to stream even after they're over. Tristan Harris calls this the "bottomless bowl" phenomenon. With a refilling bowl, people eat 73 percent more calories. Or they binge-watch way too many movies.
What to do. Autoplay is typically on by default, so you have to turn it off. The feature can usually be found in the app's account Settings. Here's how to turn it off in Netflix.

Notifications. Studies show that push notifications -- those little pings and prods you get to check your apps -- are habit-forming. They align an external trigger (the ping) with an internal trigger (a feeling of boredom, uncertainty, insecurity, etc.). Every app uses them, but some, such as Musical.ly and YouTube, have discovered that when notifications tells us to do something, such as "Watch Sally's new video!" or "See who liked your post!" we respond immediately. These calls to action not only interrupt us, they cause stress.
What to do. Turn them off. Most devices have a Settings section where you can turn off notifications. You should also be able to turn off notifications in the app's settings.

Snapchat's Snapstreaks. A Snapstreak begins after two users send snaps (pictures) to each other for three days straight. You might think competition is the motivation behind Snapstreaks, but it's more likely due to a psychological theory called the rule of reciprocation. Humans have a need to respond to a positive action with another positive action. Voilà, a Snapstreak is born. Kids can become so obsessed with sustaining a streak that they give their friends access to their accounts when they're unable to maintain their own streaks (which is actually a privacy risk). The rule is also at play with "like backs" -- when you like someone's post and ask them to like yours back to bolster your total number of likes. Of course, companies exploit the rule of reciprocation because more data points for them means more opportunities to understand their users and try to sell them stuff.
What to do. Help kids understand how companies like Snapchat are using their (positive) desire to be nice to their friends to get them to use their product more. If your kid's streaks are getting out of control, try allowing one time per day that your kid can send snaps, for example, after they take out the garbage, clean their room, and finish their homework. Finally, if your kids' streaks are merely annoying and not harmful, you may need to ride out this phase until your kids go on to something new.

Randomness. If you knew that Instagram updated your feed at precisely 3 p.m. every day, that's when you'd check in, right? But that won't keep you glued to your phone. Instead, social media companies use what's called "variable rewards." This technique keeps us searching endlessly for our "prize," such as who friended us, who liked our posts, and who updated their status. (Not coincidentally, it's also the method slot machines use to keep people pulling the lever.) Since you never know what's going to come up, you keep coming back for more.
What to do. Turn off app notifications (usually found in your phone's Settings but also in the apps' settings themselves). Schedule a timer to go off at a certain time every day and check your feeds then.

In-app purchases. Free games such as Clash of Clans and Candy Crush lure you in by promising cheap thrills, then offering in-app purchases that let you level up, buy currency to use in the game, and more. But the real sneaky stuff is how companies keep you playing -- and buying. The more you use the game and the more in-app purchases you make, the more companies learn about you. Thanks to games that connect to Facebook, they also know who your friends are. That lets them tailor specific products to you at the precise times you're most likely to buy.
What to do. Spring for the full, paid version of games. They're cheaper -- and safer -- in the long run.

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The Sneaky Science Behind Your Kid's Tech Obsessions

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Son won't turn off his video game? Daughter obsessed with "likes" on Instagram? It may not be entirely their fault. Like the high-octane sugar in a pint of Ben & Jerry's and that irresistible chemical spice in Flamin' Hot Cheetos, the ingredients in social media, video games, apps, and other digital products are carefully engineered to keep you coming back for more.

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Social media sites and apps are an important part of how we all use the internet. Younger children may enjoy sites like Animal Jam that do not fit the traditional social media mold, but still allow users to communicate with each other, while older children, teens, and adults, may prefer sites like Facebook, and apps like Snapchat and Instagram.

In a 2018 Pew Research survey, teens were split on whether social media had a mostly positive or mostly negative effect on their lives. The noted positive elements included social media's role in connecting them with friends and family, easy access to news and information, and meeting others with similar interests. The noted negative effects included bullying, lack of in-person contact, and unrealistic views of others' lives. ¹

Most social media sites and apps (including Facebook, SnapChat, Twitter, Instagram, and Musical.ly) require users to be at least 13 years old, though it is not uncommon for youths to be untruthful about their date of birth in order to gain access to the site or app. By accessing these platforms before age 13, young children are at an increased risk of encountering inappropriate content and/or contact from older users.

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Social media sites and apps are an important part of how we all use the internet. Younger children may enjoy sites like Animal Jam that do not fit the traditional social media mold, but still allow users to communicate with each other, while older children, teens, and adults, may prefer sites like Facebook, and apps like Snapchat and Instagram.

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National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

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The Issue

According to StopBullying.gov, Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. It can happen via text message and within apps, on social media, forums, and gaming sites. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can also include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation.Signs that a child may be a victim of cyberbullying include:

Avoiding the computer, cellphone, and other technological devices or appears stressed when receiving an e-mail, instant message, or text

Withdrawing from family and friends or acting reluctant to attend school and social events

Avoiding conversations about computer use

Exhibiting signs of low self-esteem including depression and/or fear

Has declining grades

Has poor eating or sleeping habits

By the Numbers

20-30%
of kids report having been cyberbullied in their lifetime. ¹

10%

of kids report having been a cyberbully. ²

Pew reports that
95%
of teens have access to a smartphone, 3 making this a common tool for cyberbullying.

How to Talk About It

Discussions about positive, healthy habits online should start early and happen often. Use these discussion starters to get the conversation started.

Has anyone ever tried talking to you online about inappropriate or sexual things? What did you do?

Do you trust all of your online friends? Are there any people you should unfriend or block?

Do you know how to report, flag, or block people on the websites and apps you use? Can you show me?

Who would you talk to if you were upset by a request you received online?

If you see something online that's meant to hurt someone, don't "like" or share it. Think about how you'd feel if someone did that to you.

It's OK not to like someone. It's not OK to bully them.

If someone cyberbullies you, you may want to send a mean comment back, but it could make this worse. Instead, save the evidence and report it.

Being a good digital citizen means standing up for others. Take steps to help peers being cyberbullied (eg., post nice comments, sit with them at lunch, report the harassment, etc.).

Resources

Potty-Mouth Pete is trying to spread bad netiquette all over the Internet. Can Clicky, Webster, and Nettie stop him before it's too late?

A teen regrets his participation on a website created to rate others at his school.

Lily and Gabriela aren't getting along, on- or offline. Will their decisions lead to common ground or digital drama?

Season 2 of "Into the Cloud" tackles gaming and livestream safety, online enticement and blackmail, cyberbullying, and removing/reporting inappropriate content online. Ideal for kids 10 & under.

Are you a parent or guardian looking for on-demand trainings related to prevention education? Check out NCMEC's virtual child safety series, Parent Connect, available for free on NCMEC CONNECT. Topics include cyberbullying, online enticement, livestreaming, gaming, sexting, and more!

References
[1] The Annual Bullying Survey 2017(Rep.). (2017, July). Retrieved February, 2019, from Ditch the Label website: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/The-Annual-Bullying-Survey-2017-1.pdf

[2] Hinduja, S., & Patchin, J. W. (2015, October 21). Our latest research on cyberbullying among school students. Retrieved February 1, 2019, from https://cyberbullying.org/2015-data

[3] Pew Research Center, May 2018, "Teens, Social Media & Technology 2018

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The Issue According to StopBullying.gov, Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. It can happen via text message and within apps, on social media, forums, and gaming sites. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else.

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Games for kids that encourage good choices online

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Games for kids that encourage good choices online

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Real-life video for students: meeting people online

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Real-life video for students: meeting people online

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Tips for protecting kids from identity theft

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Tips for protecting kids from identity theft

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You might think that you have to be an adult to be an identity theft victim, but that's not the case. Children are also at risk. One reason is most kids have squeaky clean credit ratings since they have never taken out credit. Another is that identity thieves know that the crime can go undetected for years, until a child is 17 or 18 and applies for a student loan or credit card. Identity theft can not only interfere with a child's ability to get a loan, it can hurt his or her chances for a job or internship or cause trouble with the law or at school, which is why it's so important to take steps now to protect your child's identity.
Know how your child's school protects student data.Schools typically have a great deal of information about students, so check with school authorities on how they protect your child's data. This includes directory information like home addresses and phone numbers, and any surveys the school has conducted. Also check with school clubs or organizations that might have their own privacy policies that could differ from the school's. There are strict federal guidelines for how schools manage student data, outlined in the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA). You'll find lots more about this in ConnectSafely's free booklet A Parents' Guide to Student Data Privacy.

Protect your child's Social Security number. Don't give it to anyone - even trusted sources - unless they have a legitimate need. Even doctors, who may ask for this information, don't need it since they are not extending credit to your child.

Know how your child's personal information is being used. There are times when you must share confidential information about your children including at school, medical facilities, day care centers and sometimes even school clubs, youth groups and sports organizations. Only give them the information they need (it is rarely necessary to share a child's Social Security number) and ask how they protect that information.

Secure your child's devices. Smartphones, laptops, tablets and even media players can contain confidential information that could jeopardize your child's identity. There is also a risk of someone harassing or bullying others from your child's device and having it blamed on your child. Be sure that all of your family's devices are protected with a password, confidential PIN or fingerprints. Only use trustworthy apps and make sure that you have the latest versions of apps and operating system software, which means you'll have the latest security updates.

Even if your devices are secure, you need to develop safe online habits. Beware of phishing - fraudulent websites or apps that look legitimate that ask you to enter personal information. You'll find more on protecting phones in A Parents' Guide to Mobile Phones , free from ConnectSafely.

Be careful on social media. Social media is a great way to share lots of information but, if you or your child aren't careful, data posted online could lead to identity theft. And it's also possible for people to impersonate your child social media and perhaps abuse others in your child's name - another form of ID theft that can get your child into trouble.

Make sure your child is using strong, secure and unique passwords as well as dual factor authentication as outlined in ConnectSafely's Tips for Strong, Secure Passwords . Teach them from a young age to never share passwords, even with trusted friends, and to keep private certain confidential items including Social Security numbers, driver's license numbers, bank and credit card information. ConnectSafely has a series of to help parents understand privacy and security tools for major social networking services.

Be careful in the physical world. Paper remains one of the "technologies" used to steal identities. Be sure to shred any papers that contain Social Security numbers or sensitive financial, academic, legal or medical information. Don't carry around your or your child's Social Security card or anything with highly sensitive information. Make sure potential employers, landlords and others protect any information and documents with your information.

Get your child's credit report. The three major credit reporting agencies are required to offer a free annual credit report for anyone, including children. The Federal Trade Commission recommends that you run your child's report when they get close to their 16th birthday. The credit reporting agencies may (legitimately) require your child's Social Security number, birth certificate and proof of address. Don't, however, assume that a clean credit report means your child is not a victim. It is quite possible that the report may not reveal identity theft has taken place. You can access these reports from AnnualCreditReport.com, which is recommended by the FTC.

Not just strangers. Sadly, children can be victims of their own relatives or friends of the family who have access to information they can use to steal the child's identity. Youth can also be victimized by friends, current or former roommates and people who have access to their mail, among other things.

Vulnerable youth. Not all young people are equally vulnerable. Foster children, according to the Identity Theft Resource Center, are at a higher risk for identity theft than other youth. Sometimes it's related to their own parents' economic problems but it can also result from the child's data being passed around between agencies and foster homes.

Look for warnings signs. The FTC says to watch for the following signs that your child may have had his or her identity stolen:

Being turned down for government benefits because the benefits are being paid to another account using your child's Social Security number

Getting a notice from the IRS saying the child didn't pay income taxes, or that the child's Social Security number was used on another tax return

Getting collection calls or bills for products or services you didn't receive
Resources
A Parents' Guide to Cybersecurity (from ConnectSafely)

Identity Theft Resource Center (800 400-5530): Provides free assistance for victims of identity theft.

Federal Trade Commission Child Identity Consumer Information : Additional advice on prevention and dealing with child ID theft.

Center for Identity University of Texas, Austin: Research and practical information on identity theft including a section on Identity Resources for Parents

Youth and Credit: Protecting the Credit of Youth in Foster Care : A guide that provides a step-by-step process for adults working with young people in foster care to implement the credit check requirement authorized through federal legislation in 2011. The guide recommends that adults use the requirement as an opportunity to educate young people about the threat of identity theft and the importance of establishing good credit, as well as to help young people leave foster care with clear credit histories.

© 2017 ConnectSafely.org
If you'd like to print these tips out, here's a PDF version. Please contact admin@connectsafely.org for permission to reprint or post.

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Tips for Protecting Kids & Teens from Identity Theft

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You might think that you have to be an adult to be an identity theft victim, but that's not the case. Children are also at risk. One reason is most kids have squeaky clean credit ratings since they have never taken out credit.

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Google Family Link app helps track child's usage

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Google Family Link app helps track child's usage

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Whether your children are younger or in their teens, the Family Link app lets you set digital ground rules to help guide them as they learn, play, and explore online.*

Guide them to good content

View their activity

Not all screen time is the same. Help your child make healthy decisions about what they do on their device, with activity reports showing how much time they're spending on their favorite apps. †

Manage their apps

Handy notifications let you approve or block apps your child wants to download from the Google Play Store. You can also manage in-app purchases, and hide specific apps on their device.

Feed their curiosity

It can be hard to figure out what apps are right for your child, so Family Link shows you teacher-recommended apps that you can add directly to their device. ‡

Guide them to good content

View their activity

Not all screen time is the same. Help your child make healthy decisions about what they do on their device, with activity reports showing how much time they're spending on their favorite apps. †

Today's activity * Updated now

Manage their apps

Handy notifications let you approve or block apps your child wants to download from the Google Play Store. You can also manage in-app purchases, and hide specific apps on their device.

Feed their curiosity

It can be hard to figure out what apps are right for your child, so Family Link shows you teacher-recommended apps that you can add directly to their device. ‡

Apps recommended by teachers

Keep an eye on screen time

Set limits

It's up to you to decide the right amount of screen time for your child. Family Link lets you set time limits and a bedtime for their device, so you can help them find a good balance.

Lock their device

Whether it's time to go play outside, have dinner, or just spend time together, you can remotely lock a device whenever it's time to take a break.

Keep an eye on screen time

Set limits

It's up to you to decide the right amount of screen time for your child. Family Link lets you set time limits and a bedtime for their device, so you can help them find a good balance.

Lock their device

Whether it's time to go play outside, have dinner, or just spend time together, you can remotely lock a device whenever it's time to take a break.

See where they are

It's helpful to be able to find your child when they're on the go. You can use Family Link to help locate them as long as they're carrying their device.#

See where they are

It's helpful to be able to find your child when they're on the go. You can use Family Link to help locate them as long as they're carrying their device.#

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Whether your children are younger or in their teens, the Family Link app lets you set digital ground rules to help guide them as they learn, play, and explore online.* Guide them to good content View their activity Not all screen time is the same.

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WIRED magazine: how to raise media savvy kids in the digital age

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WIRED magazine: how to raise media savvy kids in the digital age

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Experts tips and tricks for helping your younglings think critically about what they see on TV and social media.

This story is part of a series on parenting-from surveilling our teens to helping our kids navigate fake news and misinformation.
What does it mean for a kid to be media literate? It sounds generally positive and important, like a good dental checkup or a flawless report card. The field is broad and definitions vary, but the main thrust of literacy education is to prepare our children to be adept at accessing, creating, and thinking critically about all types of media.

As parents, we can struggle to wrap our heads around a carousel of premium, user-friendly, and questionably educational media choices. And the thought of sitting through the 57th viewing of The Land Before Time II, the longest hour and 13 minutes of juvenile folly ever created, even if it's for our very precious child's well-being, can be dread-inducing.

Among millennials, the first generation of "digital natives," 17 million are now mothers-but their recollections of navigating AOL Instant Messenger and Napster as tweens haven't necessarily prepared them to curate a child-friendly media diet in 2020.

According to the latest research, though, encouraging your children to think critically about the media they're consuming is much more important than playing screen-time babysitter. You don't have to wait until your kids are able to deconstruct Toni Morrison novels either. Basic media literacy skills are like a second alphabet for the digital age, and fostering them in our children involves asking questions and being an active participant in their media consumption. Here are some age-appropriate tips from a handful of media literacy experts who also happen to moonlight as parents.

A few years ago, on Christmas morning, my 5-year-old daughter squealed with unhinged glee as she unwrapped a Num Noms Lip Gloss Truck. It was all she had wanted for Christmas and she quickly broke down the packaging to discover that the lip gloss, despite looking like ice cream, was not at all edible. It smelled edible and looked like glittery unicorn poop, but the treacherous instruction manual revealed the truth of the matter.

It was a hard lesson. Even if the jubilant ponytailed girl on the commercial was depicted tasting the gloop, my daughter could not, and those diabolical marketers had tricked her. Developmental psychologists say that children younger than 7 or 8 simply can't understand the persuasive intent behind commercials. Because of this cognitive limitation, media literacy efforts have long ignored this younger age group, focusing on middle and high school students instead. But media literacy, like any other skill, can benefit from a strong foundation in the early years, according to Faith Rogow, an expert in early childhood literacy and the founding president of the National Association for Media Literacy Education.

"It's easier to help children develop habits around media use, inquiry, and reflection in the early years than it is to wait until they are defiant middle schoolers," Rogow says. Introducing a child to the difference between a commercialized version of a product or toy-say a polka-dot pink truck filled with Kawaii-eyed ice cream animals and miniature glitter shakers-and the toy itself can be one way to break down that cognitive barrier. Your 5-year-old might just shake their tiny fist at the injustice of the sticky, inedible reality.

You can also play the "What are they trying to sell?" game with kids this age, Rogow says. During a commercial break, see who in the family can be the first to guess what the ad is trying to sell. Most of all, parents should be aware of their own media habits.

"Think of it like driving," Rogow says. "We're not going to turn over the car keys to our toddlers, so we aren't exactly teaching them to drive yet, but they are learning about rules of the road from what we do."

At the Charlotte Mecklenburg Library in North Carolina, media literacy educator and doctoral student Jimmeka Anderson helped establish an "active reading" program for young kids. "With active reading, parents do not read the words in the book," Anderson says. "As you go through the pictures in the book, you're asking questions like, 'What color is this bear? What do you think the bear is going to do?'" Anderson says this is a way to build media literacy skills beginning in preschool, equipping kids to become critical thinkers by helping them take an active role in their consumption of pictures and other visual media.

Ian O'Byrne is a digital literacy researcher and former grade school teacher, but he also has two very accessible research subjects: his son, 9, and daughter, 4. In 2019, O'Byrne, along with five other researcher-parents, conducted a study on an oft-overlooked branch of digital literacy-information security and algorithms, specifically how children interact with and understand them.

"These algorithms make decisions about our lives," O'Byrne says. "We started to wonder, when should we start talking to individuals about algorithms and power and about trust and truth in these tools? How do we explain this to our kids?"

He acknowledges that even most adults don't fully comprehend what happens to our information online or on the internet of things, so getting a more thorough grasp of digital security and information-sharing is an important place for parents to start.

O'Byrne and his colleagues haven't yet published their results, but he says they've found two effective strategies that stand out. The first is to find a teachable moment or "approach point" to discuss these issues with your children.

For O'Byrne, the moment came when his son, who has a Google Hangouts account to keep in touch with his parents and a few select friends, was messaged by a complete stranger. On his parenting and tech podcast Technopanic, O'Byrne and colleague Kristen Turner dissect the situation. "He brought it to my attention and I said, 'Look, this is what you need to be concerned about,' and we talked about privacy and security," O'Byrne said. "So I think the first step is finding that approach point and either waiting for them to come to you with a situation, or there might be the need to create a situation."

Creating that situation is the second strategy. It can take the form of talking about something in the news or finding a good picture book or story, or even using a real-life situation your children are familiar with, like a playground, to discuss security concepts.

The next time you snap a photo together at the park or a restaurant, try asking your child if it's all right that you post it to social media. Use the opportunity to talk about who can see that photo and show them your privacy settings. Or if a news story about the algorithms on YouTube comes on television, ask them if they've ever been directed to a video they didn't want to see.

"Dialog is the most important thing," O'Byrne says, but it's also important to talk about the digital world in a way that's relatable to your kids. O'Byrne and his colleagues will submit their final paper to the Journal of Design Science in February. (Disclosure: The call for proposals for a special issue of the journal was sponsored by WIRED, the MIT Media Lab, and the UC Irvine Connected Learning Lab.)

Perhaps the most vulnerable period for children engaged with media are the much maligned teenage years. Teens are forming their identities, experimenting with and exposing themselves to all sorts of new experiences on their journey to adulthood.

At this stage, a lot of parents sign off from regulating their kids' media consumption, but Anderson says this is a critical mistake. "Parents have got to stick with them the whole way through," Anderson says. "That's the age of identity development, when they're trying to figure out who they are. If you're trying to figure out who you are and you haven't figured it out, media will tell you who you should be, or who you should try to be."

Anderson started a program in 2011 called I Am Not the Media, a nonprofit that educates teens about media literacy and messaging. She focuses particularly on marginalized communities, where representation in the media is often not positive and can influence teens' perceptions of themselves. "The kids are having to analyze power structures and how they play out in the media," Anderson says. "Is my voice missing, and what would it look like if my voice was present here?"

One of her favorite things is seeing the "light bulb" come on with her students, when they begin to analyze media on their own terms. "They'll share that with me, because now they're starting to engage with the media in a different way," Anderson says.

Parents should take on more of an advisory role during the teen years, she says. It's still important to have restrictions, but we're not equipping them for the world if we shield them from it entirely. Anderson suggests that parents work with their kids to come up with reasonable limits. Excessive social media use is linked to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues, so come to an agreement with your child about how much is too much. It's also important to follow your kids' social media accounts.

"I can still engage with you and see the content that you're posting, because if you can't share it with me, you shouldn't share it at all," Anderson says.

Teens also engage more actively with news. A 2017 report by Common Sense Media, a nonprofit that promotes media education, found that among kids between age 10 and 18, 39 percent get their news from online sources, most often Facebook and YouTube.

Parents often don't realize that their children are taking in news through these platforms, says Kelly Mendoza, the senior director of education programs at Common Sense Media. "It's more difficult to determine fact versus fiction when it comes to social media." Only 44 percent of kids feel confident that they can tell fake news from real news, according to the same 2017 report.

In its curriculum for middle and high school students, Common Sense uses a technique called lateral reading. If you find a piece of information, you try to see if you can corroborate it with another source. Ideally, parents should encourage kids to verify information through trusted news outlets.

"Help kids understand that journalism has a process, where a journalist does fact checking and they try to get to the truth of an issue," Mendoza says. "A lot of stuff that we see on social media isn't designed that way. It's designed to get you to click on it."

On the flip side, kids in this age range trust news they hear from their parents more than any other source. Across the board, experts agree that staying informed and media savvy as an adult is critical. If you don't have a clue what's going on in the run-up to the presidential election, or what the fluff Fortnite is all about, you'd be hard pressed to help your children understand it.

"We're more likely to believe things that we hear from our friends and family than from any random information source," Anderson says. "So you are a form of media, and it's important for you to vet the information that you're sharing as well."

The key, Anderson explains, is not to tell your children how it is but to teach them how to question why it is. If this seems at odds with how many of us remember our upbringing, that's because it is. The authoritarian "Because I said so" refrain of old has been linked to lower academic performance and poor emotional regulation.

So while it may cause a few headaches in the present to coach your children to willfully ask "why," you'll be setting them up for an adulthood where they don't default to the latest social media platform or authority figure to answer that question for them.

Here are the books, apps, podcasts, and websites the experts recommend.

A guide to screens in moderation for busy families: The Art of Screen Time: How Your Family Can Balance Digital Media and Real Life by Anya Kamenetz

A non-Draconian guide to media for younger kids: Screen Time: How Electronic Media-From Baby Videos to Educational Software-Affects Your Young Child by Lisa Guernsey

An app created by the News Literacy Project that features a game quiz-style approach to teaching literacy on the go: Informable

A news app specifically curated for 7- to 10-year-olds: News-O-Matic

A podcast by Ian O'Byrne and Kristen Turner that aims to muffle the urge to helicopter our kids' screen use: Technopanic

Thousands of media reviews, how-to and discussion guides for parents and educators on a wide range of media topics: Common Sense Media

Activities and videos for kids and parents on identity and representation in media: Critical Media Project
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How to Raise Media-Savvy Kids in the Digital Age

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Experts tips and tricks for helping your younglings think critically about what they see on TV and social media.

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Data and research on children's use of media

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Data and research on children's use of media

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The Common Sense Research Program provides parents, educators, health organizations, and policymakers with reliable, independent data on children's use of media and technology and the impact it has on their physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development. For further inquiries, contact us at [email protected] .

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Common Sense conducts independent research about children's use of media and technology and the impact it has on their development. Read our latest reports.