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RENO, Nev. (MyNews4.com & KRNV)-- The FBI is investigating a disturbing post that appeared the day before the Oregon mass shooting. They're not sure if it is a coincidence or connected to the shooter. One thing everyone can agree on is the post and the thread that follows are both alarming. To read it
The disturbing series of posts are from a website called 4chan. It is said to be a site for the "socially awkward." The day before the shooting at an Oregon College campus this post appeared saying, "Some of you guys are alright. Don't go to school tomorrow if you live inthe northwest. Happening thread will be posted tomorrow morning. So long space robots." "

Some of the comments egg on the person who made that post, while others call the person a "loser." Still some said things like, "Do it." One person told him, "I suggest you enter a classroom and tell people that you will take them as hostages. Make everyone get in one corner and then open fire." Make sure that there is no way that someone can disarm you as it is possible. I suggest you carry a knife on your belt as last resort if someone is holding your gun."

Another suggested, "You might want to target a girls school which is safer because there are no beta males throwing themselves for their rescue. Do not use a shotgun. I would suggest a powerful assault rifle and a pistol or 2x pistols. Possibly the type of pistols who have 15+ ammo."

Someone else posted a photo of Elliot Rodger with the message, "It takes a great man to do great things. Become Legendary."

Would you report this if you stumbled upon it? Our local law enforcement thinks you should. Bob Harman, with the Washoe County Sheriff's Office said, "Anybody can say anythingon social media. It's very difficult to verify the truth behind it but whenever there is something that raises to the level of being suspicious and possibly threatening, I can't say enough and encourage people enough to contact law enforcement."

Harmon said officers can get your information to the right agency which can track the person down to talk with them face to face. He said, "We can then determine the facts behind what the post is all about and whether more needs to be done."

4chan has been accused of being a haven for bad behavior. However, mass shootings have become a vehicle for those seeking nationwide attention. Some have used Instagram, Facebook and other sites to display their horrific acts.

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Would you report a disturbing social media post? Here's why you should

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The FBI is investigating a disturbing post on a social media site to see if its linked to the Oregon shooter. Local law enforcement explains why you need to let them know if you stumble upon something alarming on social media

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Not so long ago, nobody met a partner online. Then, in the 1990s, came the first dating websites.

Match.com went live in 1995. A new wave of dating websites, such as OKCupid, emerged in the early 2000s. And the 2012 arrival of Tinder changed dating even further. Today, more than one-third of marriages start online.

Clearly, these sites have had a huge impact on dating behavior. But now the first evidence is emerging that their effect is much more profound.

The way people meet their partners has changed dramatically in recent years

For more than 50 years, researchers have studied the nature of the networks that link people to each other. These social networks turn out to have a peculiar property.

One obvious type of network links each node with its nearest neighbors, in a pattern like a chess board or chicken wire. Another obvious kind of network links nodes at random. But real social networks are not like either of these. Instead, people are strongly connected to a relatively small group of neighbors and loosely connected to much more distant people.

These loose connections turn out to be extremely important. "Those weak ties serve as bridges between our group of close friends and other clustered groups, allowing us to connect to the global community," say Josue Ortega at the University of Essex in the U.K. and Philipp Hergovich at the University of Vienna in Austria.

Loose ties have traditionally played a key role in meeting partners. While most people were unlikely to date one of their best friends, they were highly likely to date people who were linked with their group of friends; a friend of a friend, for example. In the language of network theory, dating partners were embedded in each other's networks.

Indeed, this has long been reflected in surveys of the way people meet their partners: through mutual friends, in bars, at work, in educational institutions, at church, through their families, and so on.

Online dating has changed that. Today, online dating is the second most common way for heterosexual couples to meet. For homosexual couples, it is far and away the most popular.

That has significant implications. "People who meet online tend to be complete strangers," say Ortega and Hergovich. And when people meet in this way, it sets up social links that were previously nonexistent.

The question that Ortega and Hergovich investigate is how this changes the racial diversity of society. "Understanding the evolution of interracial marriage is an important problem, for intermarriage is widely considered a measure of social distance in our societies," they say.

The researchers start by simulating what happens when extra links are introduced into a social network. Their network consists of men and women from different races who are randomly distributed. In this model, everyone wants to marry a person of the opposite sex but can only marry someone with whom a connection exists. This leads to a society with a relatively low level of interracial marriage.

But if the researchers add random links between people from different ethnic groups, the level of interracial marriage changes dramatically. "Our model predicts nearly complete racial integration upon the emergence of online dating, even if the number of partners that individuals meet from newly formed ties is small," say Ortega and Hergovich.

And there is another surprising effect. The team measure the strength of marriages by measuring the average distance between partners before and after the introduction of online dating. "Our model also predicts that marriages created in a society with online dating tend to be stronger," they say.

Next, the researchers compare the results of their models to the observed rates of interracial marriage in the U.S. This has been on the increase for some time, but the rates are still low, not least because interracial marriage was banned in some parts of the country until 1967.

But the rate of increase changed at about the time that online dating become popular. "It is intriguing that shortly after the introduction of the first dating websites in 1995, like Match.com, the percentage of new marriages created by interracial couples increased rapidly," say the researchers.

The increase became steeper in the 2000s, when online dating became even more popular. Then, in 2014, the proportion of interracial marriages jumped again. "It is interesting that this increase occurs shortly after the creation of Tinder, considered the most popular online dating app," they say.

Tinder has some 50 million users and produces more than 12 million matches a day.

Of course, this data doesn't prove that online dating caused the rise in interracial marriages. But it is consistent with the hypothesis that it does.

Meanwhile, research into the strength of marriage has found some evidence that married couples who meet online have lower rates of marital breakup than those who meet traditionally. That has the potential to significantly benefit society. And it's exactly what Ortega and Hergovich's model predicts.

Of course, there are other factors that could contribute to the increase in interracial marriage. One is that the trend is the result of a reduction in the percentage of Americans who are white. If marriages were random, this should increase the number of interracial marriages, but not by the observed amount. "The change in the population composition in the U.S. cannot explain the huge increase in intermarriage that we observe," say Ortega and Hergovich.

That leaves online dating as the main driver of this change. And if that's the case, the model implies that this change is ongoing.

That's a profound revelation. These changes are set to continue, and to benefit society as result.

Ref: arxiv.org/abs/1709.10478 : The Strength of Absent Ties: Social Integration via Online Dating

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The way strangers meet via dating websites is changing society in unexpected ways, say researchers

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Not so long ago, nobody met a partner online. Then, in the 1990s, came the first dating websites. Match.com went live in 1995. A new wave of dating websites, such as OKCupid, emerged in the early 2000s. And the 2012 arrival of Tinder changed dating even further.

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Lucas

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Marketo Marketing Blog - Best Practices and Thought Leadership

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Coca-Cola and Yoplait are enormous brands that already have millions of customers - but while other companies might be content to rest on their laurels (and their customer bases), these brands are also known for their innovative marketing. Most marketers won't be able to match Coca-Cola and Yoplait's budgets, but we can take a page from their campaigns.

Here's how Coca-Cola and Yoplait used customer participation in their marketing to engage their customers, build loyalty, and ultimately drive greater revenue:

Example #1: Coca-Cola

In the United States, the average person drinks the equivalent of 275 (12oz) cans of Coke per year. So a company like Coca-Cola, which has already "acquired" most of the people in the United States, naturally shifts their marketing focus away from immediate sales transactions, and towards a more long-term emotional connection with consumers. Through their innovative campaigns, Coca-Cola has demonstrated that emotionally resonant marketing creates loyalty among your customers...which, in turn, sells you far more Coca-Cola.

For example, their "Share a Coke" campaign (replacing the logos on Coke cans with popular names among young people) encouraged customers to share a Coke with a friend. Essentially, Coke was inviting buyers to participate in a massive social/referral marketing experience.

The campaign generated huge customer participation, particularly online - there are a whopping 341,000 posts on Instagram with the hashtag #shareacoke. Coca-Cola also reports that 96% of consumer sentiment toward the campaign is either positive or neutral.

Example #2: Yoplait

Another great example of customer participation marketing is Yoplait's annual "Save Lids to Save Lives" program. Yoplait donates $0.10 to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation for every pink foil yogurt lid that is mailed back to the company, with an annual cap of $1,500,000 per year.

Since 1997, Yoplait and their parent company General Mills have donated an estimated $35-50 million. That means that hundreds of millions of Yoplait lids have been sent in by customers.

This campaign encourages customers to engage with Yoplait, and also with a cause these customers identify with and want to support. Yoplait is also building brand loyalty - when customers are actively engaged with the "Save Lids to Save Lives" campaign, they are far more likely to purchase Yoplait and become brand advocates, encouraging others to purchase Yoplait as well.

Don't Have Coca-Cola's Budget? No Problem.

These two major marketing campaigns have truly engaged their customers, activated those customers to buy more products, and nurtured lasting customer relationships that will continue to drive sales and engagement. But both examples come from large companies with seemingly unlimited resources.

How can marketers with smaller teams and budgets build customer participation marketing campaigns? The good news is that customer participation marketing can also happen on a much smaller scale. If you sell shoes, you might ask buyers to vote on the styles or colors you plan to stock next season; if you have a restaurant, you might build an Instagram campaign with your customers wearing your branded t-shirt. Even charities like the ALS Association have seen huge success with the extremely viral ice bucket challenge, which continues to engage people around the world and drive greater donations to the charity.

Another lesson marketers should take from these campaigns is a shift in focus - from focusing solely on acquiring new customers, to engaging throughout the customer lifecycle. Companies must continuously engage (and delight) our customers over time, and drive them to become lifelong buyer and advocates.

Do you agree that participation marketing is a smart way to deepen your brand's relationship with customers? What are some of your favorite examples of participation marketing? Join the conversation in the comments below.

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How Coca-Cola, Yoplait Use Customer Participation - Marketo

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Coca-Cola and Yoplait are enormous brands that already have millions of customers - but while other companies might be content to rest on their laurels (and their customer bases), these brands are also known for their innovative marketing. Most marketers won't be able to match Coca-Cola and Yoplait's budgets, but we can take a page from their campaigns.

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You know Wendy's? Fast food restaurant, burgers, logo of a girl with red pigtails? Yep, that's the one. As it turns out, the very best thing about Wendy's may not be their burgers, but their Twitter account.

Wendy's Twitter has gotten a ton of attention and gained notoriety for their distinct brand voice that includes constant zingers to users and competitors alike. Last year they picked a fight with Burger King (and won), and have gone viral several times since due to their quick wit. It may be more dangerous to pick on Wendy's than an actual comedian at this point.

Wendy's voice and brand is unique to them, but small businesses can learn from their overall strategy and apply those lessons to their own social media accounts. Regardless of whether you roast people or not (if you do, please proceed with caution), there are four big things we can all take away from their epic social media game.

1. Distinctive Brand Personality

We talk a lot about "brand personality" and "your voice" when it comes to both content marketing and social media marketing. Your business's brand and voice can help set it apart from competition, making you unique and helping you build more concrete relationships with your customers-even if you never see them face to face (or only for a few seconds in a drive-thru line). And Wendy's personality is definitely well defined and distinct.

Their sarcasm and fearless humor is the central part of their brand, and it shows up in the majority of their tweets. Even if they're not roasting someone, a lot of their posts are clever, casual, and funny.

Their content is promotional, but it's still so much fun. People actually check in to see what Wendy's is doing and how they're responding to other users because it's so ridiculously entertaining. The phrase " don't troll the troll" comes to mind; if you take Wendy's on, you know they'll come back with something fantastic.

The lesson here: find the voice that fits with your brand and center your content around that personality. Make your business's brand unique and distinctive, and you'll pique users' interest.

2. Authenticity

Another phrase you'll hear when we talk about excelling in social media marketing is "authenticity." Your brand and social media accounts need to feel authentic. What this really means, at the end of the day, is that users want to be able to read your content and believe two things:

1. It was written by an actual person, and not a bot or some sort of automated curation tool

2. That, to an extent, your intentions are transparent

Wendy's accomplishes both of these checkpoints in droves. No computer could come up with the clever, highly entertaining posts that they share.

Wendy's Twitter also strikes the perfect balance of straight up promotional content and content that's meant to entertain and drive engagement; in many cases, they skillfully blend the two in a way a lot of brands don't.

Wendy's also shares a heavy dose of user generated content (UGC) by seeking out and retweeting great content; they'll even share content they were never directly tagged in if its great and relevant. Since UGC is the most authentic form of marketing, this is a great strategy.

3. Long-Term Consistency

Picking a strategy and sticking with it is (barring any true catastrophies) can be a great plan. Consistency is a huge benefit on social media, both in terms of what you're posting and how often.

Wendy's posts frequently, and while they use a variety of different content types, everything on their feed makes sense when looked at as a whole. They maintain their spit-fire voice instead of relying on a few great one-liners every six months.

This long-term consistency allows them to keep engagement high, and keep their momentum going. This is something many brands fail to do; they'll have one great campaign, and they get a ton of attention, and then it all kind of tapers off. Several Old Spice campaigns, for example, have done this.

Wendy's, however, went in ready to maintain what they were working on-and it's paid off.

4. Extremely Responsive

Our last major lesson that all small businesses can learn from Wendy's is to always be extremely responsive. Thanks to the immediacy and constant accessibility of the internet, people want responses to any and all interactions, and they want them now. And Wendy's is ready.

Wendy's responds to an immense number of user tweets, even the ones that are clearly just looking to egg Wendy's on.

Wendy's responds quickly, and while they clearly address any and all tweets possible, they make sure to respond quickly (and seriously) to users who have complaints. They never let a complaint go unanswered, and they make it clear to the user that they want to resolve any issues. If it takes them a little while to answer, they'll even apologize for the delay.

In a hilarious recent update, Wendy's even responded to the kind of question most brands would ignore with an eye roll: "How many retweets do I need to get free nuggets for a year?"

Wendy's actually replied and gave them a number: 18 million. So far, the user (Carter Wilkerson) has gotten over 2.7 million retweets, and Wendy's is getting so much publicity it would probably be worth giving this guy a year of free nuggets.

HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS pic.twitter.com/4SrfHmEMo3

- Carter Wilkerson (@carterjwm) April 6, 2017

Wendy's has a multiple person team handling their social media, but tools like Agorapulse's social monitoring and reviewing can make it possible for you to handle and address every single user interaction with your brand. You can spot mentions, and quickly flag down and resolve customer issues from our user-friendly dashboard.

You can also flag or assign tweets and comments to team members who might have a stronger brand voice (or whose wit is on fire that day).

Final Thoughts

While Wendy's has a professional (and very witty) team supporting the brand, all small businesses can adapt the strategies they use. They've created and maintained a distinct voice that relies heavily on authenticity, and are now known for their exceptional responses, both customer service and otherwise. At the end of the day, this comes down to consistently giving your customers what they want and showing that you care.

This will go a lot further than you think.

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What Wendy's Twitter Account Can Teach Us about "Doing Social" | Agorapulse

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You know Wendy's? Fast food restaurant, burgers, logo of a girl with red pigtails? Yep, that's the one. As it turns out, the very best thing about Wendy's may not be their burgers, but their Twitter account. Wendy's Twitter has gotten a ton of attention and gained notoriety for their distinct brand voice that includes constant zingers to users and competitors alike.

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by Adam Fisher
There can only be one contender for the unwanted prize of social media fail of the week - and it's only Wednesday.

An offensive tweet which left many people wondering how an organisation could apparently be so flippant about tragedy should have been enough for one social media crisis.

But this particular issue was compounded by an attempt to justify the tweet before it was removed.

I am of course discussing the extraordinary case of New Zealand Police and its decision to tweet about how hard it is to tell someone their family member has died in a car crash - and illustrate it with a gif of actor Steve Carell saying 'this is the worst'.

Just in case you missed it, here's the full gif from @nzpolice pic.twitter.com/w9hlX8A8R3
- Jessica Roden (@Jess_Roden) October 9, 2017

The post was only live for a matter of minutes before a strong response led to it being deleted. But in that time the force tried to justify the tweet by saying 'Telling someone their loved (sic) is not coming home is one of the hardest things cops ever have to do'.

Telling someone their loved is not coming home is one of the hardest things cops ever have to do.
- New Zealand Police (@nzpolice) October 9, 2017

Once the Tweet was removed, the Force did apologise, saying the tweet was 'wrong and insensitive'.

We apologise for the recent road safety tweet. We quickly realised it was wrong & insensitive & it was immediately deleted. Thx for feedback
- New Zealand Police (@nzpolice) October 9, 2017

Karen Jones, the force's deputy chief executive of public affairs, subsequently elaborated on this, telling the New Zealand Herald: "We feel terrible about this mistake, as we put victims at the heart of what police do.

"Social media is a hugely important channel to NZ Police and we appreciated the prompt feedback we got from members of our community who pointed out the inappropriateness of the tweet.

"We are extremely sorry and will learn from this."

As decent an apology as that is, the damage had been done with damaging headlines from publications around the world. Here are a few examples:

Police in New Zealand apologise for 'insensitive' tweet about road fatalities Sky News

New Zealand Police sorry for crash death tweet BBC News

New Zealand Police apologise for offensive 'The Office' Tweet Huffington Post Australia

Police apologise over 'insensitive' traffic death tweet using Steve Carell meme Belfast Telegraph

The force has promised to 'learn from its mistake', but it is far from the first company or organisation to find itself at the centre of a self-inflicted reputation crisis as a result of a social media post.

Back in the UK, Greater Manchester found that the quest for humour, particularly edgy humour, can lead to painful mistakes which land corporate accounts in seriously hot water. It found itself at the centre of an online backlash last year after tweeting a picture of two men wearing Nazi uniforms standing next to a German military vehicle on the M62. It captioned it by saying "M62 J22 on the West Yorkshire border. These two likely lads trying to invade." The force subsequently apologised for the 'unacceptable' content which 'caused offence to a number of people'.

Greater #Manchester Police apologises over Nazi uniform photo tweet https://t.co/BCwg7O5VIi pic.twitter.com/k6ynQBXsfK
- BBC Radio Manchester (@BBCRadioManc) August 8, 2016

London Dungeon found itself at the centre of a furious Twitter and Facebook storm when its 'Dark valentine' campaign backfired amid allegation of sexism and misogyny earlier this year. Although it deleted the offending posts - a course of action we recommend on our social media and crisis communications training courses - it then compounded the issue with a poorly thought out apology.

It opted to say 'sorry' by using the same branding as the damaging campaign -something which ensured the apology did not sound genuine, while the phrase 'we recognise we've upset some people' felt like an attempt to play down the PR disaster.

We recognise that we've upset some people and for that we're very sorry. pic.twitter.com/RW8d4VRC8D
- The London Dungeon (@LondonDungeon) February 15, 2017

Homebase found itself staring at damaging headlines when it tried to shoehorn a trending, yet completely unrelated, hashtag into one of its Tweets. As Twitter users paid tribute to the singer Prince, a tweet was sent from the company's @Homebase_help account which read: "Good morning everyone, happy Friday. If you need our assistance we're here until 8pm today, get tweeting. Have a good day! #RIPPRINCE

The tweet was lambasted for being 'inappropriate' and 'tasteless' while others accused the company of 'exploiting his death'.

Wow.
This misuse of #RIPPRINCE really demonstrates how low a brand can go.
Shameful Homebase. pic.twitter.com/g4vMLsdfPK
- Russ (@Visualiser1) April 23, 2016

These examples and the New Zealand police one were all hugely damaging, yet they could have been easily avoided.

On our social media training courses we tell delegates there are a few simple checks they should take before posting from corporate social media accounts, particularly when they are trying to be edgy or funny, to help avoid making similar mistakes:

*Has anyone else seen the content - how did they react?

*Could people be offended by the post?

*Is this right for our audience?

*Will the audience think what you think?

*Will people understand the humour?

Media First are media and communications training specialists with over 30 years of experience. We have a team of trainers, each with decades of experience working as journalists, presenters, communications coaches and media trainers.

Click here to find out more about our highly practical crisis communication and social media training courses.

Subscribe here to be among the first to receive our blogs.
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A tone-deaf tweet and three other self-inflicted social media disasters

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by Adam Fisher There can only be one contender for the unwanted prize of social media fail of the week - and it's only Wednesday. An offensive tweet which left many people wondering how an organisation could apparently be so flippant about tragedy should have been enough for one social media crisis.

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http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/06/living/buzzfeed-social-media-fired/index.html

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hugh

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How Internet Changed the Music Video - The Rotor Blog | Rotor

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Originally a tool for marketing and promotion, how have music videos evolved over the years? Here's how internet changed the music video.

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You read it right. Twitter is stupid.

I'm not talking about the product. I think the product is brilliant. The idea of being able to follow interesting people and interact with people who find you interesting is powerful. I'm inspired and educated daily by people like Nanogirl (@medickinson), Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson), Sam Harris (@samharrisorg) and even God (@thetweetofgod) none of whom I would've had access to before Twitter.

Twitter even manages to make people clever by forcing them to keep their communication down to 140 characters or less. Insights are crafted into witty little works of literary art and even when they aren't insightful, well, at least they are short.

It mostly avoids being a shrine to ego like Facebook where the narcissistic gush boring details of their least significant activities. Tweeting requires more thought and tweets alternate between making me smile, reflect and scowl. Tweets make me think because writing them makes Tweeters think. There is wisdom in brevity and when the wisdom stops, unfollowing is silent and without stigma.

So it's not the product I find stupid. Nor the company that makes it.

What is stupid is Twitter's insistence on ignoring their value as an engine of commerce and mindlessly following the lead of Google and Facebook as an engine of advertisement. Wake up, Twitter. Business is being conducted right under your nose and you are doing nothing to either assist it or profit from it.

You own a river of commerce and you are raising billboards to obstruct its flow. That's stupid.

Case in point:

Now this tweet garnered exactly zero replies (the two who favorited it are beyond my ability to rationalize) because, as I have said, Twitter is stupid. Instead of tweeting to the people who can help me, it sends the tweet to my followers who are clearly blissfully unaware of the live music scene in Boston and New York. And yet hundreds of Twitter accounts self-identify as live music venues located in these same cities.

My intent to purchase tickets originated in Twitter. The venues that can resolve that intent exist in Twitter. Buyer? Check. Seller? Check. Twitter's move? They ignore them both. Twitter is one large gathering of buyers and sellers who must go elsewhere to actual do business together! All together now ... that's stupid!

Take your business elsewhere, I can hear Twitter say, followed by the sound money makes when it flies away, which is clearly Twitter's theme song. Ignoring user intent is stupid. Preventing commerce is stupid. Leaving money on the table is, well, you get the point.

Imagine if Twitter worked like this instead:

The code to do this is alarmingly simple: Extract intent from a tweet (which is a well-studied problem, Bing and Google do it every time you type a search string), find accounts that would happily resolve said intent, and tweet that intent in their general direction. A few left-swipes and right-swipes later -- design it however you like -- broker the transaction and take a cut.

Twitter the product veritably gushes with intent. Twitter the company steadfastly ignores that intent in favor of taking the easy way out which is advertisement. Instead users must abandon Twitter and give their money to other third parties.

Let Google and Facebook ponder new ways to annoy their users and duck value at every opportunity. Ads are not the only way to make money. They are simply the easy way. When real value exists in your ecosystem you have the potential to become an engine of commerce, a force to help people get things done. Focusing on advertising in the face of all that value... well, that's stupid.
This post originally appeared on Medium.

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You read it right. Twitter is stupid. I'm not talking about the product. I think the product is brilliant. The idea of being able to follow interesting people and interact with people who find you interesting is powerful.

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Matchmakers on the rise: ONE result/implication of online dating apps...

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If there is one universal claim about dating, it's that it's tough out there.

With online dating apps on mobile phones, it's easier than ever to find new people - but that takes time. Filling out dating profiles, swiping through matches and going on dates can be all-consuming and frustrating.

That's how it felt for Kat McClain, a 26-year-old attorney based in Los Angeles, who considers herself a long-time user of dating apps. After law school in Illinois, she moved to LA and entered the dating scene. She updated her online profiles and went on dates, but ultimately wasn't meeting the right match.

"I had a really scattershot approach to who I was going out with," she says. "I was getting burnt out, I was bored. It felt like another job, and I definitely don't need another job, I work enough."

Feeling exhausted and discouraged, in October McClain sought the help of a professional, personalized matchmaking service called Three Day Rule - but not the Fiddler on the Roof Yenta-type. Three Day Rule and other matchmaking companies like it take a modern approach - finding matches for their clients and offering date coaching while also helping to optimi z e online profiles.

The frustrations of online dating may have actually made way for modern matchmaking companies. For example, Pew finds that one in five online daters has asked for help - generally from a friend - with their profile and 31 percent say that online dating keeps people from settling down because there are always options.

McClain told her matchmaker, Alexa Geistman, what she was looking for a serious relationship, and they spent months getting to know each other. Then Geistman went to work.

"I meet every single match in person. I ask them all the tough questions," Geistman says. "I really get to know the people and make sure that they're like-minded."

The company also has a database of 90,000 singles - and partnerships with online dating companies like Match, OkCupid, Christian Mingle and J-Date.

The service doesn't come cheap. McClain paid around $6,000 for a package that got her six dates over six months - as well as Geistman's personalized support and advice.

Geistman vetted potential dates for McClain, and she also encouraged her to continue her search online. To that end, Geistman helped McClain craft responses to online dating messages, revamped her online dating profiles, took professional photos and suggested she write about herself more generally.

"I've always put really specific references and whatnot into my dating profiles," McClain says. "You'll get me if you catch my really obscure 30 Rock joke. But that's not fair. The fact that you've watched 30 Rock as many times as me is not a good indicator of compatibility long term."

McClain says the advice has helped her become a better online dater. "I'm better at picking people, I'm better at presenting myself accurately," she says.
The dinner date
Geistman suggested McClain needs someone with a quiet confidence who shares the same values as her.

Enter Kevin Biely.

Biely, who's 35 years old and works in e-commerce for a nonprofit, was in Three Day Rule's database, and Geistman introduced him to McClain over email. The two set up a first date last month - and allowed producers from Morning Edition to record their conversation over dinner.

Before the date, Geistman gave McClain some advice: Be a thoughtful listener.

"She's so vivacious, and she is extremely extroverted and outgoing. So with McClain, I kind of told her that less is more on a first date," Geistman said. "I think it's really important for her to make sure that it's a two-way conversation with her date instead of really taking control."

Despite the awkward setup with mics at their table, the conversation is constant. They even seem to revel in wearing mics and having a photographer with them in the dark, lively restaurant.

"I bet you at least a few people here think we're famous," McClain said.

As conversation flows, they become less conscious of the microphones and flashing camera and focused on each other, bonding over having been in military families and about dating.

"If she's got a job, and she chews with her mouth closed, that's like 90th percentile," Biely said.

"That sounds like stunningly like my criteria!" McClain said. "Like, job, decent table manners, OK."

"I can work with the rest!" Biely said, finishing her thought.

The chemistry was clear. They talked so long, they closed out the restaurant - after they split an ice cream sundae.
'Sometimes stuff just works'
Nearly a month and a half later, the pair is still together.

"Things are really great! Literally just a couple of days ago we had the 'define-the-relationship' conversation," McClain says. They've agreed to exclusively date each other.

McClain says even though her Three Day Rule experience made it possible, none of the rules - like the one referenced in the service's name - seem to matter anymore.

" It didn't matter that we talked about marriage on the first date," she says. "It didn't matter that I told a bunch of stupid jokes, and it didn't matter who texted who first afterwards."

"Sometimes stuff just works," she says.

Working with a matchmaker helped her go into dates with more confidence, McClain says. "I guess it's like therapy. And I don't regret any of the minutes I've spent in therapy, either."
A partner through the process
So is paying for a service like Three Day Rule the key to finding a relationship? Even Geistman says no.

"Not everyone obviously needs a matchmaker to be successful in finding their match," she says. "But it really is helpful if you want more of a personalized, premium experience where you get a partner throughout the entire process."

McClain agrees that not everyone needs to pay for a matchmaker but is confident she wouldn't have met Biely without Geistman's help. She also says looking for love online on your own can work, as long you hone your skills in communicating what you really want on dating apps.

"It makes all the difference in the world when you reorient your free dating profile," McClain says. "Even if you can't vet everybody, even if you can't have someone working on the back end looking [for matches] for you. It's really important that you take it seriously and that you tailor your profile such that it is attractive to the kind of people you are looking for, and such that it reflects what it is you want."
Laura Roman contributed to this story and adapted it for the Web.

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When Dating Felt Like A Job, One Woman Hired A Matchmaker

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If there is one universal claim about dating, it's that it's tough out there. With online dating apps on mobile phones, it's easier than ever to find new people - but that takes time. Filling out dating profiles, swiping through matches and going on dates can be all-consuming and frustrating.