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A partner's touch relieves pain, study shows

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A partner's touch relieves pain, study shows

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Lovers' heartbeats and respiration patterns tend to synchronize when the partners are simply in each other's presence. But what does the role of touch play in this synchronization, and what happens when one of the partners is experiencing pain?

Have you ever noticed that when you walk alongside your partner, your steps tend to synchronize? Or that when you speak to a close friend, you tend to adopt the same posture as them?

The scientific name for this is "behavioral synchrony," and it refers to the human ability to synch up with other people for the sake of living in a society.

Some studies have shown that people are not only able to synchronize their behavior, but that they can also sync up their physiology.

"Interpersonal synchronization" can manifest in various ways. For example, when people watch the same movie, their brain activity synchronizes. Similarly, when lovers stare into each other's eyes, their hearts quite literally beat as one.

New research carried out by scientists at University of Colorado (CU) Boulder explores the role of touch in driving interpersonal synchronization in the context of pain.

The team was led by Pavel Goldstein, a postdoctoral pain researcher in the Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Lab at CU Boulder, and the findings were published in the journal Scientific Reports.

Dr. Goldstein explains what prompted his research, saying, "My wife was in pain, and all I could think was, 'What can I do to help her?' I reached for her hand and it seemed to help. I wanted to test it out in the lab: can one really decrease pain with touch, and if so, how?"

Studying pain and touch in couples

Dr. Goldstein and colleagues gathered 22 heterosexual couples for their study, who were all aged between 23 and 32.

The researchers asked the couples to participate in a range of tests that replicated the experience of being in a delivery room.

The female participants were assigned the role of "pain receiver," while the men were "pain observers."

Dr. Goldstein and team recorded the participants' respiration rates and heartbeats using an electrocardiogram under both pain and no pain conditions, as well as in both touch and no touch conditions.

Under the no pain condition, the couples either sat together without touching, sat together while holding hands, or were in separate rooms. In the pain scenario, all three situations were repeated, but the woman was subjected to "mild heat pain" for 2 minutes.

Touch restores synchronicity, eases pain

The study confirmed previous findings and showed that couples do synchronize physiologically just by being in each other's company.

When the woman was subjected to pain and her partner did not touch her, that physiological coupling was considerably diminished. However, when the male partner held her hand, heart rates and respiration rates synched up again, and the woman's pain was reduced. Additionally, holding hands increased the male partner's empathy.

Overall, touch seems to play a key role in interpersonal synchronization, as it increased physiological coupling regardless of whether the woman was in pain or not.

This confirms Dr. Goldstein's previous research, in which he showed that the more empathetic a man is toward a woman, the less pain the woman feels.

It appears that the more physiologically synched we are, the more our pain subsides. However, the researchers do not know whether lower-intensity pain increases interpersonal synchronicity, or whether it is the other way around.

"It could be that touch is a tool for communicating empathy, resulting in an analgesic, or pain-killing, effect," Dr. Goldstein says. Interpersonal coupling may also enhance the analgesic effects of touch using the autonomic nervous system, the authors hypothesize.

Dr. Goldstein also supposes that interpersonal synchronization may affect a brain region called the anterior cingulate cortex, which has been associated with decision-making, social interactions, pain perception both in oneself and in others, and empathy.

But more research is needed, he concedes, to understand the precise mechanism by which a partner's touch helps to diminish pain.

Limitations of the study include the fact that it did not examine same-sex couples or the effect of touch on men experiencing pain.

Learn how brain scans can differentiate two types of empathy.

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A partner's touch relieves pain, study shows

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Lovers' heartbeats and respiration patterns tend to synchronize when the partners are simply in each other's presence. But what does the role of touch play in this synchronization, and what happens when one of the partners is experiencing pain? Have you ever noticed that when you walk alongside your partner, your steps tend to synchronize?

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I love a Ted talk. In particular take a look at this one from Rufus Griscom & Alisa Volkman exposing 4 facts that parents never, ever admit.

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Rufus Griscom + Alisa Volkman: Let's talk parenting taboos

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Babble.com publishers Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman, in a lively tag-team, expose 4 facts that parents never, ever admit -- and why they should. Funny and honest, for parents and nonparents alike.

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'It's OK not to be OK': Fathers reveal their experience of postnatal depression - ITV News

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'It's OK not to be OK': Fathers reveal their experience of postnatal depression - ITV News

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'it's ok not to be ok': fathers reveal their experience of  postnatal depression. health

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'It's OK not to be OK': Fathers reveal their experience of postnatal depression

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Read 'It's OK not to be OK': Fathers reveal their experience of postnatal depression latest on ITV News. All the Health news

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Pinky McKay Official Website Dads, here are 12 things every new mum wants you to know (without having to tell you) - Pinky McKay Official Website

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Pinky McKay Official Website Dads, here are 12 things every new mum wants you to know (without having to tell you) - Pinky McKay Official Website

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Congratulations on becoming a dad. It's exciting and exhilarating but it's also exhausting and it can be damn confusing too, as you not only get to know your new little baby but you find yourself trying to figure out how to support your partner who seems to have turned into a completely different woman. She is exhausted from giving birth, flooded with hormones that make her cry whichever way you look at her and she seems so overwhelmed with love for your baby, you wonder if she even needs you anymore. If you are expecting a baby or you have a newborn, here are some things every new mum wants her partner to know (even if she hasn't realized it yet.)
1) Take a babymoon
Just like a honeymoon is about getting to know each other away from the distraction and stresses of every day life, a baby moon is a time for getting to know your baby and adjusting to becoming a family. Take as much time off as you can and please don't plan renovations.

Of course you will be so proud of your new baby that you will want to show him off to all your friends and family. Please stop right there! it's important to limit visitors in the early days as your partner is recovering from birth and learning to breastfeed. She will be exhausted, hormonal and vulnerable. She's also sore, self-conscious and overwhelmed. If she is struggling with breastfeeding, call the Australian Breastfeeding Association, get an IBCLC lactation consultant to come to your home or take your partner to a breastfeeding clinic (your maternity hospital may have one). Your support is the single biggest factor in her breastfeeding success.

Remember, the more rest and privacy your partner has now, the quicker she will recover and develop confidence Good friends will understand you asking them to give your new family some space. And, If you want to 'wet the baby's head' with your friends, please do this before your partner comes home from hospital - she doesn't need a hung-over partner slumped on the couch when she has been up all night with a newborn (newborns don't get day and night sorted for weeks).
2) Give her a break
When you come home from work and the house is a mess and your partner is still in her pyjamas, in the chair you left her in with the baby, don't ask her what she has done today and don't give her advice. She doesn't want to hear, "you could have got dressed while he was asleep (he didn't damn well sleep. That's why she's still sitting in the chair in her pyjamas!)." And don't dare ask "did you call the bank/repair man/my mother?" She doesn't care. She is tired (even though it looks like she has done nothing except sit in a chair and cuddle the baby - who now seems perfectly calm because she has sat in the chair and cuddled and fed and burped him all damn day). Give her a kiss and a cuddle and ask her what you can do to help (see also, tell her you love her) Or, even better, make her a drink, get her some food and offer to hold the baby or take him for a walk while she enjoys a HOT cuppa or a shower. Tomorrow night, bring dinner home with you - she may have had a better day but she will love you even more for caring.
3) Put her to bed
Sleep deprivation is a bitch - you will be tired too but she needs rest to recover from growing, birthing and making milk for your baby. Rest now will see her recover and have more energy to enjoy being a mother - and more energy for having fun (and sex) with you, much sooner. Take your baby after the early morning feed and let your partner sleep in or take baby for a walk in a carrier (see, wear your baby) or pram in the evening or on weekends and send her to bed. Every hour of sleep is precious and will help her be a more patient mum and partner.
4) Do tell her you love her. A lot.
Tell her she's beautiful. Thank her for your beautiful baby. It's hard to feel beautiful and lovable when you are covered in milk and vomit and can barely find time for a shower or clean clothes because you are so busy sitting in a chair holding and feeding and burping your baby all day. And if your partner is being a complete b**** to you doesn't mean she doesn't love or need you. ‪ Remember, she is exhausted, hormonal and vulnerable, it's normal for her to be emotional or teary. But do keep an eye on things, and support her to get help if she needs it - one in five women will develop postnatal depression. This is an illness. It is treatable, the sooner the better. If you are worried, call PANDA or Beyond Blue or go with her to your GP.
5) Wear your baby
Have a carrier ready before your baby is born. Beware though, a man wearing a baby becomes a 'chick magnet' (mostly to little old ladies) when he is out on his own with the baby. Suck up the attention but take the advice with a pinch of salt - and don't suggest any of it to your partner. She will be receiving so much advice from others, she doesn't need any more noise in her head - unless its so bloody ridiculous it will make her laugh.

6) You're not "helping out" your partner.

You're parenting! Family, friends and complete strangers will coo over every thing you do (see, wearing your baby). That is lovely, because parenthood is a huge adjustment for both of you, but please remember to point out to everyone how wonderful your partner is too, and all the things they're doing right -mothers tend to get taken for granted or even criticized for how they do things.
7) Take her side - even (or especially) against your own mother
Always take your partner's side, no matter what your mother and friends say. When people ask you, "is he a good baby?" remember the next question will be "does he sleep all night?" This is none of their business (are they offering to do an overnighter or have they come with casseroles?). Be polite but throw them off at the pass with the first question: Tell them, no he's a bad baby, he's already robbing banks/getting a tattoo/ we are putting him on Ebay next week. With luck, they will forget to ask, 'how is he sleeping?" And you just might get away without hearing about the 'bad habits' you are creating. If you are making different choices to your family and friends, read up, take classes, be informed, so you can defend your choices as a team (remember, your partner is exhausted, hormonal and vulnerable).
8) Just do it!
If you're not comfortable doing something, like dressing or bathing your baby for fear you might do it 'wrong' or hurt the baby, just do it anyway. The more you try, the easier it will be, And, when you are going out, get yourself ready then help get the baby ready while your partner gets herself ready. If you don't want it all to end up in tears (hers) or having to wait while she feeds the baby. Again! pitch in and help get everyone out the door. "Stepping up' and being a team player right from the start is an investment in your relationship with your baby and your partner relationship.
9) Don't mention the mess. Ever.
There will be mess - baby stuff, washing (how can one tiny person create so much washing?), all the gear you haven't unpacked from hospital, dying flowers and all the gifts people give you for babies that you haven't put away yet. Pick up after yourself (and her) and don't make a fuss. She doesn't want to hear that you popped on a load of washing - really? You found the laundry detergent and pressed the buttons all by yourself? Now go and hang it out, it doesn't matter that its night time and it won't dry now. It could be lunchtime or later (see, sitting in the chair all day feeding and burping and cuddling) before she gets to hanging it out tomorrow and it won't dry then either but if it's out now, it could just catch some sunlight tomorrow and she can bring it in when she gets a break.

If you work long hours or feel overwhelmed too, organize for someone to help- hire a cleaner or ask grandparents for help.
10) Tell her she's doing a great job - every day.
Be specific so she believes you. Tell her, "I love the way you....." Or "I love watching you......." (fill in the gaps ). She will get loads of advice but hardly anybody tells a new mum she's doing a great job. And there's not much positive feedback from a newborn - they can't even smile yet! Remember, she's exhausted, hormonal and vulnerable - she needs her tank filled to help her make it through the tough stuff.
11.)Take photos of mum and baby
You will no doubt be taking photos of every little grimace your baby makes and every cute little outfit you dress him in. You will take photos with visitors, photos with relatives but so often, it is the mother who is taking most of the photos. Then, down the track, months later (or when your child looks through his photo album), you realize there are very few mum and baby pics. Get photos of mum and baby and of you both together with your baby - when these moments are gone, they are gone.
12) Hang in there
Babies cry. Babies cry - did I say that, already? Often you won't have a clue why they are crying. Neither will she. So don't ask, "what is wrong with him?" Remember she's exhausted hormonal and vulnerable so she might take this as criticism. Instead, say, "how can I help?" You will both work things out as you go and it will get easier. For now, encourage your lady to trust her instincts - she knows your baby best. You are the voice of common sense (but tread carefully, you can't 'fix' a baby). If you aren't sure what to do, filter advice by asking, is it safe? Is it respectful? Does it feel right? Remember, you have got this. You are going to be an awesome dad!

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Dads, here are 12 things every new mum wants you to know (without having to tell you) - Pinky McKay Official Website

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Congratulations on becoming a dad. It's exciting and exhilarating but it's also exhausting and it can be damn confusing too, as you not only get to know your new little baby but you find yourself trying to figure out how to support your partner who seems to have turned into a completely different woman.

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Expecting a Baby: Pregnancy, Birth, Preparation - DAD.info

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Expecting a Baby: Pregnancy, Birth, Preparation - DAD.info

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Help and information for dads and parents expecting a child, tips for getting ready and preparing for birth.

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The Fatherhood Institute » The UK's fatherhood think tank

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The Fatherhood Institute » The UK's fatherhood think tank

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Building a society that supports men as hands-on fathers and father-figures

The Fatherhood Institute is a UK charity working to build a society that values, prepares, and supports men as involved fathers and caregivers.

Evidence shows that involved fatherhood has unique and significant impacts on children, mothers, and fathers themselves; improves children's wellbeing and outcomes; and helps progress towards gender equality at home and in the workplace.

Our work focuses on research, policy, and practice. We publish research reviews, take part in new studies and test promising family interventions; advocate for policy change; produce practice resources; and train practitioners in perinatal, early years, education, and social care services.

In July 2023 we started a Parliamentary petition calling on the Government to improve its statutory paternity offer, by:

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Paying employed fathers two weeks' paternity leave at 90% of salary

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Introducing a 'daddy month' of four weeks' parental leave, paid at the same rate

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Introducing a Paternity Allowance for fathers who are not employees

If 10,000 people sign the petition by 11 January 2024, the Government will have to respond to this proposal.

Our policy work streams

Discover our work to create more father-inclusive policies and services

Our research

Read our high-quality research reviews, co-investigations with eminent universities, and empirical research

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The Fatherhood Institute is a UK charity working to build a society that values, prepares, and supports men as involved fathers and caregivers. Our work focuses on research, policy, and practice.

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The masculine/feminine dance of birth. Be there by choice. - YouTube

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The masculine/feminine dance of birth. Be there by choice. - YouTube

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The masculine/feminine dance of birth. Be there by choice.

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Getting the birth bags ready is an exciting and sometimes daunting part of the journey, as it signals that things are getting close at hand! As birth will usually take place anytime from 37 weeks, it is a good idea to get the bags prepared before this, so you are ready whenever it may be!
What do I do when she goes into labour?
Whether you are choosing to have your baby at home or at hospital, it is a good idea to have some bags with the essentials in as this keeps them all organised and to hand.

For us dads who are acting as birth partner, an important part of our role is looking after these 'birth bags' - making sure they are packed into the car and taken with us to hospital, or easily accessible at home if birthing there.

It can be a good idea to have three bags: one for Mum, one for Baby and one for you. Even if your partner takes the lead on organising the bags, still get involved. Find out what is in each bag and also where it is in the bag. If your partner needs something in the middle of labour, or quickly after the birth of your baby, you need to be able to find it.

Here's a list of the things that you, your partner and baby might need.

Stuff for her

The birth plan.

Any medication she is taking.

A nightie or big T-shirt for labour or even a top or bikini top to wear in case she wants to use a birth pool or bath and have the option to stay covered up.

Dressing gown, slippers and anything else she feels she needs to be comfortable.

Front-opening nightwear for breastfeeding after the birth

Normal toiletries such as toothbrush, tissues, toothpaste shower flannel, face cream, hairbands for long hair, face wipes, adult bottom wipes, massage oil and a hot water bottle can come in handy.

Breast pads, maternity bras, super absorbent sanitary towels. A few pairs of cotton or disposable pants.

Clothes for coming home (loose and comfortable - she is unlikely to fit into pre maternity clothes yet)

Energy-giving snacks such as dried fruits and flapjacks, and squash.

Anything else to make your environment cosy and comfortable - favourite pillow, birth ball, candles (while you can have the real thing if birthing at home, pack battery operated ones for the hospital!)

Music is an important tool in creating a positive, safe environment which will help labour to naturally progress, so pack a couple of CDs. Ideally, this will be music that your partner has practiced relaxing to or soothing music which will help the oxytocin flow.

Birth Basics.

Stuff for baby

Vests and baby grows

Blanket

6-10 nappies

Cotton wool or cloths for nappy changing

Some muslins

Appropriate attire for travelling home in, dependent on the weather

Their car seat Car seats: what's to know?

Giving Birth at home?

If you are giving birth at home there will be a few additional things which you need to have at the ready. These include:

A birth pool if you have chosen to use one

Waterproof sheet

Towels

A torch

Warm water and antibacterial soap

Kettle on the boil for some cups of tea!

Stuff for you

Your phone: so you can share the news!

Flexible straw: Keeping your partner hydrated in labour is extremely important - as dehydration can slow down labour and make it painful. By having a flexible straws you can hold a cup near to your partner, encouraging her to regularly take a sip and stay hydrated.

Flannel: A flannel can be placed under a warm tap and used as a warm compress on the lower back during labour to offer relief from any discomfort there. As labour really gets underway and your partner is getting hot and sweaty, wet the flannel under a cold tap use as a cold compress on her face to give relief and to revitalise!

Food and Drink: Make sure you have supply of food and drink for yourself. Glucose energy drinks are great - although you might want to avoid the ones with caffeine or taurine added. You should also make sure you have some food which you can leave in your bag until it is needed, such as cereal bars, nuts or crisps. If you are going to hospital for the birth, make some sandwiches when labour begins and pop them into your bag too. You do not want to be passing out at a crucial moment in the birth because you have not eaten for hours, nor do you want to be the dad who misses the birth because he was in the café!

Birth Plan: You can't have enough copies of this, so make sure you pack a copy too.

Birth Plans

And finally

Each couple is different in terms of their birth plan and needs, so it's important to think about what you want and need and make sure you pack accordingly!

You want to strike a balance between packing the things you will want and need, and packing several suitcases worth! Remember that you can always pop home (if in hospital) or to the shop after baby has been born if you find there is something you do need which you haven't got yet.

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The Birth BagGetting the birth bags ready is an exciting and sometimes daunting part of the journey, as it signals that things are getting close at hand! As birth will usually take place anytime from 37 weeks, it is a good idea to get the bags prepared before this, so you are ready whenever it may be!What do I do when she goes into labour?Whether y...

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Beautiful Intimate Moments Of Home Births

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Fathers talk about their feelings supporting their partner during labour and birth