# data[].attributes.body
Juggling between life and death

I don't have an ounce of respect

For nobody

Not even myself

I count the stars as if

They my own.

For I too wish to be among them

Now or later

Sooner than ever

How does it even matter.

There are words unsaid

Things undone

But when deaths

The only thing on your mind

All you ever need

Is a sobbing chamber

Burning yourself

You let out a cry

Unheard, it was

In the glowing ember

That was left of your ashes

In the smoldering enclosure.

# data[].attributes.body
Unwanted,

I feel.

Shattered,

Not healed.

Burned,

But alive

Or so i thought to be.

Drinking sips of the

Sweet drink.

I try to wake myself up each day.

Wary, i realise, halfway,

The cups are filled with drama

Aah..im thinking about the trauma,

The lining done by our sins,

Practically it has the darkest aura.

Yet, i take the sips

Enjoying every bit

Not letting a drop tip

As My mind soon slips

Into the darkest void

Im trying hard to find,

The reasons, i fight

For today, i decide

What I believe in.

But my beliefs gone,

It's six feet under,

I open my eyes,

To a gigantic thunder.

The sky is my home,

Its calling me.

I wanna go,

Then what's stopping me?

A glimpse,

I try to find,

Of humanity,

Of hope,

Or even the future

I despise.

But what alls left now

Is broken promises

And brutal lies

Hope cried

And fought for it's life.

But alas,

My depression hUng it up,

While my ocd smiled.

It's the fight you fought,

The people you lost!

Holding the trigger is often the person

You trust a lot.

That's why they say:

Don't trust yourself too much,

You might be in for a ride, but you are out for a reason.

Its the battle I'm in

An unending war.

You are a loser, or so are your thoughts.

But maybe it's true,

You not worth a dime,

Not worth a truth,

Not worth any smile.

# data[].attributes.body
You wanna be happy

Come on tell me why

You are a bloody shit face

You deserve no life

Im worried

Someday ,

I'll just take my life

All the sadness and the sorrow

Whipped off in a James bond style.

Im being selfish, aren't i?

Not thinking about my family

Or the people that I like.

But what do I do

If it's troubling me too much?

Choking my throat

As I stand there helpless.

I wonder if I were to be an orphan,

How long would it have taken

For me to leave this place abandoned?

You call me self obsessed for ditching my family

Then maybe I am self obsessed

But then I wonder

What do you call those, who left me all strangled.

Do they all deserve to know what they did?

Messed with my childhood

And fu**ed with my brain

I am like those petals of a flower,

You plucked me out too soon,

And then picked me apart,

Part by part.

I want even ready yet,

Way too immature.

But you taught me that

I had to grow up,

But how would I?

When you yanked out my heart,

It crushed under your feet

And you didn't gave it a thought.

So I was a child,

With a broken heart.

Putting it all together

I was a child

With an adults thoughts.

Now I stand here,

With all my petals gone.

I lost myself,

Thinking i belonged.

But no one likes an incomplete flower,

Forget the humans, now even bees are afar.

I couldn't feed them,

So they left me on radar.

I am this weightless balloon

Who's losing all it's air,

Day by day

Breath by breath

Moving through the wind.

Just a few more pricks and I'll be gone.

Will then I be happy?

I think I'll be

And So i wait for the pricks

Wait....for them to kill me.

# data[].attributes.body
Feeling used to it

Im being.

The stars shine afar

I think I'm weeping.

How it all started

I don't think I've a reason.

Counting people as stars

By the amount of light they emit.

Im crying stains:

That are not visible to me.

I hope there's a way

That makes me let it all out.

But I don't think there's such a thing.

You disappoint me

Is what I keep saying to myself

You don't do enough

You are not enough's the only thing

I keep talking to myself.

I wanna feel everything

I wanna let it all out.

I wanna go back to those nights

When I prayed to God

To numb my pain,

Because now I'm numb, but I still feel the pain.

Im traumatic

With no way to truly express it,

I keep looking, searching,

But I can't seem to embrace it,

Not, myself.

Soon the disappointment will turn anger.

You'll start thinking impossibles

Is it ever enough?

You're hysterically besting yourself!!

The pain, the emotions

Do not faze you

You know what you're going through.!

You shout into the void,

"Is there someone who can help me?"

"Or am I just really lonely"

You are waiting for someone/something

You know is fictional,

But that's just the most real you've ever felt.

Ive turned cold

My hearts a stone

And my brain number than that.

Existence is exponential

It requires effort

So you start thinking otherwise.

Knowing you

I probably know what you are thinking:

To cease to exist,

To stop feeling things!

But that's not possible run

Just run,

That's all you'll ever be able to do!

# data[].attributes.body
Will this come to an end

This continuous loop of freedom and trust.

Sometimes you are just tired

Just wanna lay

On bed or on burial ground?

Be a matter to decay.

You start thinking the worst

Like, the world coming to an end or

You ending your world.

Whatever the reason be,

These emotions are quite strong.

Sometimes it feels

As if they are growing stronger each day,

And you are coming closer to your d-day.

Sometimes your are just tired

Tired of all the shit.

It's messing with your brain,

Without even giving you a hint.

You don't wanna talk

Not even to yourself.

You just wanna lie

Through your teeth or on the bed.

Sometimes I wonder,

Why are we even here,

Why does it even matter?

You see, after you are gone,

And after mourning your loss,

For whatever few days,

Everyone's life will be the same,

Just like any new game

Just with one lost character,

Which i don't think was a reason to stray.

For everyone, you thought

Would atleast say

"I wish you would've stayed

Or me accompanied you on your d-day,

But I'm sorry dear friend,

I have my life,

So I'll let you decay."

It's as if all my tears already dried up,

There's nothing to lose,

Nothing to gain even.

Life's like a cloud,

Because, when it rains, it pours.

When you find a spark, it burns.

When you find something real,

It just unfurls.

# data[].attributes.body
When breath becomes air
When your eyes scream out tears
I'll be there.
When choices are a burden
And you strangle the sun
I'll be there.
To witness the darkness,
To see you shriek a cry,
I'll be there.
Holding your hand,
Rubbing it soothly,
Going through the hopeless days,
Struggling to see the blurry faces,
I'll be there.
When you feel sad,
And the world seems too bad
Crying through the night
Remembering all those you once had
I'll be there.
I'll be there~
On the unfortunate days,
When you lose your loved ones,
On the days when nothing's fun,
On the days when everything seems gruesome.
I'll be there ~
To remind you :
that everything will be fine,
You just have to take one step at a time...and you have me, by your side<3.

# data[].attributes.body
Londan bridge falling down
Aoi tori
Human
Okokok\lalala
Doremon no uta
Please dont go
Bihar Boy

Enter

You sent

# data[].attributes.body
I sit long hours at peace, By myself I find me at ease. Those silly lies, those foolish smiles, I enjoyed my innocence for quite a while. Me and My Life, felt so complete,
Until You forced your way into it.
From being a Clam, To revealing the "Story of My
Life". I found a certain charm in You, But little did I know that I was falling for You.
Every picture of You,
Made me imagine "Glimpses of Us". Now, every Night I dream of You, Every Song, I sing of You. Every Breath, I breathe for You, In every Touch, I long to sense You.

But,

YOU BROKE ME INTO PIECES, YOU ROBBED ME OF MY LOVE. I KNOW YOU HAD YOUR REASONS,Except now, this door of compassion,
Is shut for Years to come.
The "We's" and the "Us's" had their last cries, Now, it's back to the "Me's" and back to the "I's".
I wonder who's writing my story?And, where's my "Master At Work"? A Treacherous Lie, is a game called Love,
Because now, My Brain repels, When My Heart years for touch.

# data[].attributes.body
I waited
I waited fir you to express it self
I waited for your action to real to me what your mouth wouldn't confess
I waited for your soul to recognize me as home
I waited for you to desire eternity with me
I waited for the beginning to began
I waited and I waited
Untill I realize that I stood up
I stood up by your love
It never showed
Your love never showed
Never showed
Never

❤️

# data[].attributes.body
You know, just how everybody has their special place
With homely feelings
Even on lonely days.

Yes, I'm talking about the place, you call home!
Can you please give me the address?
I think I'm missing it some!

Or maybe it's more like, I never had it.
So when i saw everybody, hanging out with their buddies,
Talking about it.
I felt alone just thinking about it.

Then, slowly my loneliness ate me up.
Like it my mother
Who was hungry enough
To eat her own child.
But my desire to find my home, still shook me up.

But i guess, i shouldn't have woken up.
For it made me face
The brutal reality,
Of everything
including this world we are living in.

It shook me to the core,
That now, i can hardly sleep.
Turning on my sides, i keep asking,
"Please, just get me to my home. I miss it so much
that it's the only thing I yearn."
This unnerving truth is not something I adore.

I think I would've been more happy and less gloomy,
only if i had my own home.

But i guess the god forgot to give me one,
For there are always the forgotten children,
And i guess this time, I'm just one of them.

I think i need to accept it now,
But maybe there's one more way.
Slitting myself, what if I go to God, on my own
asking him, why he did it,
If i DESERVE to be unloved or was it just on a whim?
Maybe, then I'll have the answer,
As to why, I'm a homeless Girl.

# data[].attributes.headline
here's a lil piece of work from my side :P

# data[].attributes.subject
here's a lil piece of work from my side :P

# data[].attributes.body
Hello, HI, all those wishes
I just want to DIE
And I won't say that it was a LIE
but here's my heart who still wants to SURVIVE
to feel LOVED and certain rules to ABIDE
Let's try to be HAPPY in our LIVES

Even for ONCE ,however small the cause be

let's give our best and FOLLOW HIS WILL !

# data[].attributes.body
I want to CRY, but there are no TEARS left
I want to DIE, but I want to interspect
Whether, I'll go to heaven or hell
I know, I am a complete MESS
But, before I go, there's a story I want to TELL

This BATTLE of HEART and MIND
Which blends
To follow the trends
Better do I DESCEND,
Into a whole new world altogether
Nothing to follow
I feel the BLESSINGS that shower
To calm me DOWN
But I know, I will only DROWN.

Drown in PEOPLE'S EXPECTATIONS about me,
and what if I say those people are my Parents
Whom I don't want to obey
Please anyone pray
That I can live my life the RIGHT WAY.

The LIGHTS Shimmering,
To look at myself in the mirror is not my WILL.
My eyes wide OPEN
Like an empty yatch on an OCEAN

No one to look around
Or save me from the end
When I jump from the height to the ground.

Everyone will then send flowers
To the deceased, no air to BREATHE.
While alive no one even gave the chance to smile
Now,what might they knew that now I am at peace far from this NOSTALGIC BELIEF.

ALL I can do is to SWITCH
To switch my characters from HAPPY to SAD;
But it's the inner motivation and the love of the people that I lack.
EMPTINESS is all that we have
But how to MOLD it, is all in our hands.

But what if you act like a zombie, no CONSCIOUSNESS of your SURROUNDING
EVERYTHING is in vain
If you don't love the CHARACTER behind 'ME'.
DANCING in the rain,
Only to hide my tears from those whom I MEET.

What do you think is it like
To LIVE in state when it's HARD to CONTROL your MIND.

SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE
BUT A TRUE FRIEND IS ALL
YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO FIND!