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i feel like something is going to happen while roland is next to me

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i feel like something is going to happen while roland is next to me

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please leave us alone

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today is gonna be a good day, i can feel it. Everyone hang in there

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today is gonna be a good day, i can feel it. Everyone hang in there

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I write a shit ton of poems but this one is my pride and joy

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I write a shit ton of poems but this one is my pride and joy

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God, please take me back (title)

Up on a throne all draped in gold and glow

Sits a god that abandon me long ago

I screamed in agony and cried my pain

while he sat pretty and watched me go insane

I clasped my hands in praise hoping he’d forgive my sins

But all he did was watch and from his paintings grin

Was it my fault he never seemed to care

Everything he did was fair

Did I make him mad with my constant pleads

Is there something flawed in my list of needs

Will he ever take me back after I turned away

The church grimaced at me when I strayed

Your god abandon me long ago, yet I can’t seem to figure out

Why was I never enough, could never amount

If everything I did and do is planned

Then what kind of God subjects his children to such demands

I cried to him when I was at my ledge

He let me fall endlessly from the edge

Did I not satisfy him enough to have much worth

Or was I just cursed with this disregard from birth

I’m told he loves me more than I know

But where was he all those tear-stained nights ago

Please God take me back

I promise I never meant to run far from your track

I promise I just want your endless love

Please just take my heart and soul with you above

Just let me be the perfect little girl my mom wanted to raise

Free me from the guilt of myself and all the madness in the haze

Why am I deserving of this mess with everything up in flames

Why do I have to be the one my family shames

Why do you ignore my cries and screams and shrieks

You let me spiral hopelessly all those weeks

Am I the one at fault for all this pain and hurt

Or can I blame you, my mother, and the churches disconcert

Please God come down from that throne up in the heavens

Claim my heart and soul and all my cries of confession

I swear I’ll put on a halo and your feathered angel wings

All I want is for you to help me even if it stings

Why won’t your church take me back, I’ve done everything demanded

I did anything and everything commanded

But I guess your throne draped in gold and glow is a comfy spot

I guess you’ll take everything I give, and everything I got

Stay up in your kingdom oh merciful God

For I’m your servant and I’ll upkeep your righteous façade

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emerson do you have a tampon or pad with you?

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emerson do you have a tampon or pad with you?

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@chubby bunny

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why does it hurt
but it doesnt
it leaves marks
on ur skin
you cry all night
to be never ok
it never helps
it just feels good
to be on ur skin
like the marks
that grow like the ocean
But the ocean is big
and you are small.

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Yesterday I got a bathing suit from target and my mom wanted to see me in it, but I'm only like three days clean so I wasn't able to even tho i really wanted to, and that's on being a competitive swimmer lol

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Yesterday I got a bathing suit from target and my mom wanted to see me in it, but I'm only like three days clean so I wasn't able to even tho i really wanted to, and that's on being a competitive swimmer lol

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Hes been sick for a long time

Even if I expected it never meant I was ready

The selfish side of me is glad

That I never have to set foot in that house again

Dust and mildew filling my lungs no more

The yelling is gone from my bleeding ears

Still, I miss the simple times

Playing games and watching videos

Laughing and wrestling

I will miss his bad food

And his rotting garden

I will miss the ants crawling on my skin, under it too

And the choking hold he had on my life

I am free but it doesn’t feel right

Leaving that life behind

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"Scars dont disappear, they make u stronger'' - Leo 9:55 AM 4/7/22

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"Scars dont disappear, they make u stronger'' - Leo 9:55 AM 4/7/22

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does anyone have a pad or tampon in their backpack that i could use? uhhhhhh so yeah

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does anyone have a pad or tampon in their backpack that i could use? uhhhhhh so yeah

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sorry if i talk about my dad being dead a lot, just my way of coping

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sorry if i talk about my dad being dead a lot, just my way of coping

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i can stop if it makes anyone uncomfortable

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i wanna do it again. idk wtf is wrong with me.

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i wanna do it again. idk wtf is wrong with me.