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“One benzene ring to rule them all,
One benzene ring to find them.
Six sigma bonds to bring them all,
And in the solvent, bind them.”

—  Lord Of The Hydrocarbons

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Jet: Silver

So, what do you think of that new restaurant on the moon?
I think the food is great, but it's got no atmosphere.

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Jet: Gold

Heisenburg is driving down the road when a cop pulls him over. The cop asks: "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenburg replies: "No, but I know where I was!"

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Jet: Gold

A logician's wife is having a baby. The baby is handed to the logician. The wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl?" the logician replies: "Yes."

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Platinum

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Platinum

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Platinum

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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Student: "Can I eat this USB?"

Teacher: "Of course not."

Student: "But it's a silicon chip!"

Sandro: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Platinum

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Silver

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How does Steve get exercise? He runs around the block! 

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How does Steve get exercise? He runs around the block! 

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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Why did the creeper cross the road? Coz the Ocelot was chasing him, duh!

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Why did the creeper cross the road? Coz the Ocelot was chasing him, duh!

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Gold

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What's the opposite of Nitrogen? Daytrogen

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What's the opposite of Nitrogen? Daytrogen

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Jet: Silver

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You made Lithium react with Argon? LiAr!

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You made Lithium react with Argon? LiAr!

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Jet: Silver

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data. 

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data. 

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Jet: Gold

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A photon checks into a hotel. When asked if he needed help with his luggage, he replied, "Nah, I'm travelling light."

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A photon checks into a hotel. When asked if he needed help with his luggage, he replied, "Nah, I'm travelling light."

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Jet: Silver

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What kind of fish is made from two sodium atoms? Two-Na! (Explanation: Two-Na = Tuna) 

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What kind of fish is made from two sodium atoms? Two-Na! (Explanation: Two-Na = Tuna) 

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Jet: Silver

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What does a sub-atomic duck say? Quark! 

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What does a sub-atomic duck say? Quark! 

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Jet: Silver

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume. The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up. 

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are all given identical rubber balls and told to find the volume. They are given anything they want to measure it, and have all the time they need. The mathematician pulls out a measuring tape and records the circumference. He then divides by two times pi to get the radius, cubes that, multiplies by pi again, and then multiplies by four-thirds and thereby calculates the volume. The physicist gets a bucket of water, places 1.00000 gallons of water in the bucket, drops in the ball, and measures the displacement to six significant figures. And the engineer? He writes down the serial number of the ball, and looks it up. 

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Jet: Gold

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No-one really likes this joke. I guess it's because it's boron.

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No-one really likes this joke. I guess it's because it's boron.

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Gold

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Last night I dreamed that I was weightless! I was like, 0mg (0mg = Zero Milligrams)

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Last night I dreamed that I was weightless! I was like, 0mg (0mg = Zero Milligrams)

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Jet: Silver

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No I'm not trying to poison you. Now eat your Pb and Jelly sandwich. (Explanation: Pb is the chemical symbol for lead, which is highly poisonous) 

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No I'm not trying to poison you. Now eat your Pb and Jelly sandwich. (Explanation: Pb is the chemical symbol for lead, which is highly poisonous) 

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Jet: Pt (look it up suckers)

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Jet: Silver

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Imaginary numbers are fun until someone loses an eye. 

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Imaginary numbers are fun until someone loses an eye. 

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Jet: Silver

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I hate telling noble gas jokes - there's never a reaction

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I hate telling noble gas jokes - there's never a reaction

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Jet: Silver

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Top seven excuses for not doing homework:                                                                                          1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.                                        2. Isaac Newton's birthday.                                                                                                                       3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.                         4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.                                                 5. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.                                                                     6. I locked the paper in a box but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.                                7. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.

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Top seven excuses for not doing homework:                                                                                          1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.                                        2. Isaac Newton's birthday.                                                                                                                       3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.                         4. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.                                                 5. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.                                                                     6. I locked the paper in a box but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.                                7. I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.

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Jet: Gold

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Maths limerick: 12 + 144 + 20 + 3√4 / 7 + (5 x 11) = 9^2 + 0 (Explanation: When read aloud, properly, it reads: "A dozen, a gross and a score / Plus three times the square root of four /  divided by seven / plus five times eleven / Is nine squared and not a bit more" ) 

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Maths limerick: 12 + 144 + 20 + 3√4 / 7 + (5 x 11) = 9^2 + 0 (Explanation: When read aloud, properly, it reads: "A dozen, a gross and a score / Plus three times the square root of four /  divided by seven / plus five times eleven / Is nine squared and not a bit more" ) 

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Jet: Silver

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Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec! (Explanation: Oct is short for Octal (base 8) and Dec is short for Decimal (base 10) ) 

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Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec! (Explanation: Oct is short for Octal (base 8) and Dec is short for Decimal (base 10) ) 

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Jet: Gold

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Three statisticians go hunting. After a while they find a single rabbit. The first takes aim and undershoots, the second takes aim and overshoots. The third yells "We got him!" (Explanation: the average place the bullets hit was the rabbit)     

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Three statisticians go hunting. After a while they find a single rabbit. The first takes aim and undershoots, the second takes aim and overshoots. The third yells "We got him!" (Explanation: the average place the bullets hit was the rabbit)     

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Jet: Silver

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Sandro: Silver

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Platinum

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Jet: Jet: Jet: Silver

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Sandro: Gold

Jet: Gold

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Sandro: Platinum

Jet: Platinum

Aggregate: Double Platinum

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Jet: Gold

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

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Jet: AU

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Jet: Silver

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 Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

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 Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

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Jet: Silver

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 Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? A: OH SNaP!

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 Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? A: OH SNaP!

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Jet: Silver

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Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe

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Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe

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Jet: Silver

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 Helium walks into a bar, The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.

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 Helium walks into a bar, The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.

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Jet: Silver

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What is the most important rule in chemistry? Never lick the spoon

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What is the most important rule in chemistry? Never lick the spoon

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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If the silver surfer and iron man teamed up, they'd be an alloy

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If the silver surfer and iron man teamed up, they'd be an alloy

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Silver

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Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

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Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

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Jet: Silver

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The B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stands for Benoît B. Mandelbrot.

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The B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stands for Benoît B. Mandelbrot.

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Jet: Gold

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A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house. They watch as two people go into the house, and then a little later, three people walk out.The physicist says, “The initial measurement was incorrect.”The biologist says, “They must have reproduced.”And the mathematician says, “If exactly one person enters that house, it will be empty.”

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A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house. They watch as two people go into the house, and then a little later, three people walk out.The physicist says, “The initial measurement was incorrect.”The biologist says, “They must have reproduced.”And the mathematician says, “If exactly one person enters that house, it will be empty.”

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Jet: Gold

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Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: One: she gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that has already been solved.

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Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: One: she gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that has already been solved.

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Jet: Silver

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A: “What is the integral of 1/cabin?”B: “log e cabin.”A: “Nope, houseboat–you forgot the C.”

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A: “What is the integral of 1/cabin?”B: “log e cabin.”A: “Nope, houseboat–you forgot the C.”

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Jet: Gold

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There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river… It was 3 feet deep on average. 

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There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river… It was 3 feet deep on average. 

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Jet: Platinum

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Gold

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So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!? It's not the end of the world!

Sandro: Gold

Jet: Gold

Aggregate: Gold

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A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

Sandro: Silver

Jet: Silver

Aggregate: Silver

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Two men walked into a bar. One ordered H2O. The other said "I'll have some H2O too."    The second man died. 

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Two men walked into a bar. One ordered H2O. The other said "I'll have some H2O too."    The second man died. 

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Sandro: Platinum

Jet: Gold

Aggregate: Gold

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When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

Jet: Gold

Sandro: Platinum

Aggregate: Platinum.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

Sandro: Silver

Jet: Silver

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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Jet: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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What do you call an avocado cut into 6.023 x 10e+23 pieces? Guacamole. 

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What do you call an avocado cut into 6.023 x 10e+23 pieces? Guacamole. 

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Jet: Gold

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Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium BATMAN!!! (The chemical symbol for sodium is Na)     

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Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium BATMAN!!! (The chemical symbol for sodium is Na)     

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Platinum

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Jet: Silver

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Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

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Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

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Sandro: Platinum

Jet: Silver

Aggregate: Gold

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Jet: Silver

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Jet: Double Platinum

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Jet: Platinum