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This short film was made by Fabio D'Andres, who also wrote and played the music in the film. It stars Mel B. (4 mins)
Please note that the video contains dramatised scenes of extreme physical violence

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Fabio D'Andrea - Love Should Not Hurt: starring Mel B (A flat minor) [Official Video]

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The evolution of the Power and Control Wheel

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The evolution of the Power and Control Wheel

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Ellen Pence

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Ellen Pence, Battered Women's Movement Leader

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Infographic [source]

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DAHA Accreditation Leads: Post-module survey

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Web survey powered by SurveyMonkey.com. Create your own online survey now with SurveyMonkey's expert certified FREE templates.

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DAHA Accreditation Leads: Post-module survey

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Web survey powered by SurveyMonkey.com. Create your own online survey now with SurveyMonkey's expert certified FREE templates.

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These learning outcomes have been established as part of the formal accreditation process for this course. All assessment tasks are against these outcomes.

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Participation – We ask that you take part as much as you can, we have included a variety of different activities so that everyone will hopefully feel able to join in as learning from each other is really valuable. If we have a skills practice session - just to reassure you, you will be in groups of 3 people and won’t have to practice in front of the whole group. You will just be asked to share feedback about how it went after practising in your small group.

Respect each other, we never know in the training room who may have their own lived experience of domestic abuse either now, or in the past as an adult or child. Be mindful of sharing any judgments and how that would impact a survivor in the room.

Challenge opinion not person.  It is ok to have differing opinions but let’s use that as an opportunity to be curious about the difference rather than challenge a person on theirs.

We also ask you respect this learning space by minimising distractions such as mobile phones and closing other tabs on your computer, especially email.

Confidentiality – Please do not share other people’s stories without consent or use their names. Throughout the day, we will consider why maintaining confidentiality is so important to survivors and this also applies to any colleagues who share their personal experiences. As trainers, we also have a responsibility to ensure that people are safe and if we hear information that indicates someone is at risk of harm, we may need to share that beyond this room. If this happens, we will speak to the person first before we do unless this puts someone at further risk. We are sharing this with you now so you’re aware and can make a choice about what you share with others.

Self-care - This training can be emotive. If you become upset or overwhelmed by any of the content, please take a break, turn camera off and mute yourself as part of looking after yourself – we are here to support/talk to at lunch/end of session. Can send a private message to the trainer in the chat (if Zoom) or contact us by email after the training.

Breaks: We will have 3 short breaks during the session – one 15 minute tea break and two 5 minute “stretch’ breaks

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First activity -
Second activity time - 26:02-28:16

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Watch more British TV Dramas and Documentaries at http://uk.watchallchannels.com to watch live UK TV channels anywhere Abroad visit http://www.watchallchannels.com/british-tv.html everything is FREE

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Watch more British TV Dramas and Documentaries at http://uk.watchallchannels.com to watch live UK TV channels anywhere Abroad visit http://www.watchallchannels.com/british-tv.html everything is FREE

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1. know how to adopt a safe, non-judgemental and believing approach when having conversations with survivors and why this is important.

2. know, recognise and feel able to ask about risk factors associated with domestic abuse.

3. understand the importance of using your professional judgement.

4. know what to do when “something’s not quite right”; and

5. be able to explain safety and support planning options

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Noor, I. (2020, June 10). Confirmation bias. Simply Psychology.

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Confirmation Bias is the tendency to look for information that supports, rather than rejects, one's preconceptions, typically by interpreting evidence to confirm existing beliefs while rejecting or ignoring any conflicting data (American Psychological Association).

One of the early demonstrations of confirmation bias appeared in an experiment by Peter Watson (1960) in which the subjects were to find the experimenter's rule for sequencing numbers.

Its results showed that the subjects chose responses that supported their hypotheses while rejecting contradictory evidence, and even though their hypotheses were incorrect, they became confident in them quickly (Gray, 2010, p. 356).

Though such evidence of confirmation bias has appeared in psychological literature throughout history, the term 'confirmation bias' was first used in a 1977 paper detailing an experimental study on the topic (Mynatt, Doherty, & Tweney, 1977).

Types

Biased Search for Information

This type of confirmation bias explains people's search for evidence in a one-sided way to support their hypotheses or theories.

Experiments have shown that people provide tests/questions designed to yield "yes" if their favored hypothesis is true and ignore alternative hypotheses that are likely to give the same result.

This is also known as the congruence heuristic (Baron, 2000, p.162-64). Though the preference for affirmative questions itself may not be biased, there are experiments that have shown that congruence bias does exist.

For Example:

If you were to search "Are cats better than dogs?" in Google, all you would get are sites listing the reasons why cats are better.

However, if you were to search "Are dogs better than cats?" google will only provide you with sites that believe dogs are better than cats.

This shows that phrasing questions in a one-sided way (i.e., affirmative manner) will assist you in obtaining evidence consistent with your hypothesis.

Biased Interpretation

This type of bias explains that people interpret evidence concerning their existing beliefs by evaluating confirming evidence differently than evidence that challenges their preconceptions.

Various experiments have shown that people tend not to change their beliefs on complex issues even after being provided with research because of the way they interpret the evidence.

Additionally, people accept "confirming" evidence more easily and critically evaluate the "disconfirming" evidence (this is known as disconfirmation bias) (Taber & Lodge, 2006).

When provided with the same evidence, people's interpretations could still be biased.

For example:

Biased interpretation is shown in an experiment conducted by Stanford University on the topic of capital punishment. It included participants who were in support of and others who were against capital punishment.

All subjects were provided with the same two studies.

After reading the detailed descriptions of the studies, participants still held their initial beliefs and supported their reasoning by providing "confirming" evidence from the studies and rejecting any contradictory evidence or considering it inferior to the "confirming" evidence (Lord, Ross, & Lepper, 1979).

Biased Memory

To confirm their current beliefs, people may remember/recall information selectively. Psychological theories vary in defining memory bias.

Some theories state that information confirming prior beliefs is stored in the memory while contradictory evidence is not (i.e., Schema theory). Some others claim that striking information is remembered best (i.e., humor effect).

Memory confirmation bias also serves a role in stereotype maintenance. Experiments have shown that the mental association between expectancy-confirming information and the group label strongly affects recall and recognition memory.

Though a certain stereotype about a social group might not be true for an individual, people tend to remember the stereotype-consistent information better than any disconfirming evidence (Fyock & Stangor, 1994).

For example:

In one experimental study, participants were asked to read a woman's profile (detailing her extroverted and introverted skills) and assess her for either a job of a librarian or real-estate salesperson.

Those assessing her as a salesperson better recalled extroverted traits, while the other group recalled more examples of introversion (Snyder & Cantor, 1979).

These experiments, along with others, have offered an insight into selective memory and provided evidence for biased memory, proving that one searches for and better remembers confirming evidence.

Examples

Social Media

Information we are presented on social media is not only reflective of what the users want to see but also of the designers' beliefs and values. Today, people are exposed to an overwhelming number of news sources, each varying in their credibility.

To form conclusions, people tend to read the news that aligns with their perspectives. For instance, new channels provide information (even the same news) differently from each other on complex issues (i.e., racism, political parties, etc.), with some using sensational headlines/pictures and one-sided information.

Due to the biased coverage of topics, people only utilize certain channels/sites to obtain their information to make biased conclusions.

Religious Faith

People also tend to search for and interpret evidence with respect to their religious beliefs (if any).

For instance, on the topics of abortion and transgender rights, people whose religions are against such things will interpret this information differently than others and will look for evidence to validate what they believe.

Similarly, those who religiously reject the theory of evolution will either gather information disproving evolution or hold no official stance on the topic.

Also, irreligious people might perceive events that are considered "miracles" and "test of faiths" by religious people to be a reinforcement of their lack of faith in a religion.

when Does The Confirmation Bias Occur?

There are several explanations why humans possess confirmation bias, including this tendency being an efficient way to process information, protect self-esteem, and minimize cognitive dissonance.

Information Processing

Confirmation bias serves as an efficient way to process information because of the limitless information humans are exposed to.

To form an unbiased decision, one would have to critically evaluate every piece of information present, which is unfeasible. Therefore, people only tend to look for information desired to form their conclusions (Casad, 2019).

Protect Self-esteem

People are susceptible to confirmation bias to protect their self-esteem (to know that their beliefs are accurate).

To make themselves feel confident, they tend to look for information that supports their existing beliefs (Casad, 2019).

Minimize Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance also explains why confirmation bias is adaptive.

Cognitive dissonance is a mental conflict that occurs when a person holds two contradictory beliefs
and causes psychological stress/unease in a person.

To minimize this dissonance, people adapt to confirmation bias by avoiding information that is contradictory to their views and seeking evidence confirming their beliefs.

Challenge avoidance and reinforcement seeking to affect people's thoughts/reactions differently since exposure to disconfirming information results in negative emotions, something that is nonexistent when seeking reinforcing evidence ("The Confirmation Bias: Why People See What They Want to See").

Implications

Confirmation bias consistently shapes the way we look for and interpret information that influences our decisions in this society, ranging from homes to global platforms. This bias prevents people from gathering information objectively.

Politics

During the election campaign, people tend to look for information confirming their perspectives on different candidates while ignoring any information contradictory to their views.

This subjective manner of obtaining information can lead to overconfidence in a candidate, and misinterpretation/overlooking of important information, thus influencing their voting decision and, eventually country's leadership (Cherry, 2020).

Recruitment and Selection

Confirmation bias also affects employment diversity because preconceived ideas about different social groups can introduce discrimination (though it might be unconscious) and impact the recruitment process (Agarwal, 2018).

Existing beliefs of a certain group being more competent than the other is the reason why particular races and gender are represented the most in companies today. This bias can hamper the company's attempt at diversifying its employees.

Mitigating Confirmation Bias

Change in intrapersonal thought:

To avoid being susceptible to confirmation bias, start questioning your research methods, and sources used to obtain their information.

Expanding the types of sources used in searching for information could provide different aspects of a particular topic and offer levels of credibility.

Read entire articles rather than forming conclusions based on the headlines and pictures. - Search for credible evidence presented in the article.

Analyze if the statements being asserted are backed up by trustworthy evidence (tracking the source of evidence could prove its credibility). - Encourage yourself and others to gather information in a conscious manner.

Alternative hypothesis:

Confirmation bias occurs when people tend to look for information that confirms their beliefs/hypotheses, but this bias can be reduced by taking into alternative hypotheses and their consequences.

Considering the possibility of beliefs/hypotheses other than one's own could help you gather information in a more dynamic manner (rather than a one-sided way).

Related Cognitive Biases

There are many cognitive biases that characterize as subtypes of confirmation bias. Following are two of the subtypes:

Backfire Effect

The backfire effect occurs when people's preexisting beliefs strengthen when challenged by contradictory evidence (Silverman, 2011).

Therefore, disproving a misconception can actually strengthen a person's belief in that misconception.

One piece of disconfirming evidence does not change people's views, but a constant flow of credible refutations could correct misinformation/misconceptions.

This effect is considered a subtype of confirmation bias because it explains people's reactions to new information based on their preexisting hypotheses.

For example:

A study by Brendan Nyhan and Jason Reifler (two researchers on political misinformation) explored the effects of different types of statements on people's beliefs.

While examining two statements, "I am not a Muslim, Obama says." and "I am a Christian, Obama says," they concluded that the latter statement is more persuasive and resulted in people's change of beliefs, thus affirming statements are more effective at correcting incorrect views (Silverman, 2011).

Halo Effect

The halo effect occurs when people use impressions from a single trait to form conclusions about other unrelated attributes. It is heavily influenced by the first impression.

Research on this effect was pioneered by American psychologist Edward Thorndike who, in 1920, described ways officers rated their soldiers on different traits based on first impressions (Neugaard, 2019).

Experiments have shown that when positive attributes are presented first, a person is judged more favorably than when negative traits are shown first. This is a subtype of confirmation bias because it allows us to structure our thinking about other information using only initial evidence.

Learning Check

When does the confirmation bias occur?

1. When an individual only researches information that is consistent with personal beliefs.

2. When an individual only makes a decision after all perspectives have been evaluated.

3. When an individual becomes more confident in one's judgments after researching alternative perspectives.

4. When an individual believes that the odds of an event occurring increase if the event hasn't occurred recently.

The correct answer is A. Confirmation bias occurs when an individual only researches information consistent with personal beliefs. This bias leads people to favor information that confirms their preconceptions or hypotheses, regardless of whether the information is true.

Confirmation bias is the tendency of people to favor information that confirms their existing beliefs or hypotheses.

Confirmation bias happens when a person gives more weight to evidence that confirms their beliefs and undervalues evidence that could disprove it.

People display this bias when they gather or recall information selectively or when they interpret it in a biased way.

The effect is stronger for emotionally charged issues and for deeply entrenched beliefs.

References

Agarwal, P., Dr. (2018, October 19). Here Is How Bias Can Affect Recruitment In Your Organisation. https://www.forbes.com/sites/pragyaagarwaleurope/2018/10/19/how-can-bias-during-interviewsaffect-recruitment-in-your-organisation

American Psychological Association. (n.d.). APA Dictionary of Psychology. https://dictionary.apa.org/confirmation-bias

Baron, J. (2000). Thinking and Deciding (Third ed.). Cambridge University Press.

Casad, B. (2019, October 09). Confirmation bias. https://www.britannica.com/science/confirmation-bias

Cherry, K. (2020, February 19). Why Do We Favor Information That Confirms Our Existing Beliefs? https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-confirmation-bias-2795024

Fyock, J., & Stangor, C. (1994). The role of memory biases in stereotype maintenance. The British journal of social psychology, 33 (3), 331-343.

Gray, P. O. (2010). Psychology . New York: Worth Publishers.

Lord, C. G., Ross, L., & Lepper, M. R. (1979). Biased assimilation and attitude polarization: The effects of prior theories on subsequently considered evidence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 37 (11), 2098-2109.

Mynatt, C. R., Doherty, M. E., & Tweney, R. D. (1977). Confirmation bias in a simulated research environment: An experimental study of scientific inference. Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology, 29 (1), 85-95.

Neugaard, B. (2019, October 09). Halo effect. https://www.britannica.com/science/halo-effect

Silverman, C. (2011, June 17). The Backfire Effect . https://archives.cjr.org/behind_the_news/the_backfire_effect.php

Snyder, M., & Cantor, N. (1979). Testing hypotheses about other people: The use of historical knowledge. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 15 (4), 330-342.

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Confirmation Bias In Psychology: Definition & Examples

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Confirmation Bias is the tendency to look for information that supports, rather than rejects, one's preconceptions, typically by interpreting evidence to confirm existing beliefs while rejecting or ignoring any conflicting data.

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Resources, including their report on the impact of multiple disadvantage

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Good Practice Briefing of AVA's "Race, Trauma and VAWG" Webinar

This good practice briefing is part of the Ascent Project, a partnership project within the London Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) Consortium. This briefing highlights the necessity of trauma-informed approaches to supporting Black and minoristised women and girl survivors of domestic and sexual abuse. The recommendations in this brief come from the webinar, Race, Trauma, and VAWG, that AVA held on the 8th December 2020. This briefing builds on the insights, key themes and recommendations discussed during this webinar by the expert speakers and provides a resource to services wanting to improve their support of Black and minoritised survivors. It is important to note that, as a mainstream VAWG organisation, we do not claim to inaugurate good practice, but instead refer to the practices and information from specialist BME organisations, like those represented by the speakers at this webinar. We do so while committing ourselves to upholding their important recommendations and making ourselves accountable to doing so. We thank the tireless work of Black and minoritised women in the VAWG sector who continually push for better support for Black and minoritised women and girls experiencing domestic and sexual abuse. At AVA, we pledge to work harder to centre anti-racism in our work to end gender-based violence - we can and must do more to support both BME organisations and survivors. The webinar, and this following brief, are crucial steps in our journey at AVA in committing to this work.

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Resources Archive - AVA - Against Violence & Abuse

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Good Practice Briefing of AVA's "Race, Trauma and VAWG" Webinar This good practice briefing is part of the Ascent Project, a partnership project within the London Violence Against Women and Girls (VAWG) Consortium. This briefing highlights the necessity of trauma-informed approaches to supporting Black and minoristised women and girl survivors of domestic and sexual abuse.

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Quick Start Guidance

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Access the SafeLives Dash risk checklist in English and different community languages, as well as frequently asked questions about using the tool in practice.

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Safe Lives - Resources for identifying the risks victims face

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Safe Lives - Resources for identifying the risks victims face

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When someone is experiencing domestic abuse, it's vital to make an accurate and fast assessment of the danger they're in, so they can get the right help as quickly as possible. Our Dash risk checklist is a tried and tested way to understand risk. Dash stands for domestic abuse, stalking and 'honour'-based violence. The questions are based on extensive research of domestic abuse.

We believe every person living with domestic abuse needs to be supported to be safe, wherever they live, whoever they are. We hope the Dash risk checklist helps produce a more consistent approach across the UK.

Who is it for? Who can use it?
The Dash risk checklist can be used for all intimate partner relationships, including LGBTQ+ relationships, as well as for 'honour'-based violence and family violence. It is primarily intended for professionals - both specialist domestic violence workers, such as Idvas, and other professionals working for mainstream services. It aims to provide a uniform understanding of risk across professions. There is a specific police version of the risk checklist, which is used by most police forces in England and Wales.

How does it work?
The simple series of questions makes it easy to work out the risk someone is facing, and what they might need to become safe and well. A high score means the victim is at high risk of murder and/or serious harm and needs urgent help. These victims should get help from an Idva, and all the relevant local agencies should come together at a Marac meeting to make a plan to make them safe. The Dash risk checklist is available in several languages, as is guidance on how to use the tool.

The Dash cannot replace vital professional judgement. It cannot replace the need for training. It is guidance.

For more information on the research base behind the Dash risk checklist, please read our FAQs. Or you may want to watch the SafeLives video: An introduction to risk identification in domestic abuse cases.

"The police took it very seriously - they were brilliant. They risk assessed me straight away with a Dash form and found I was at high risk of harm. Because they took it seriously and believed me, I felt better about telling them about the abuse."

"The risk assessment was the thing that made the difference to me. It made me realise that I was a victim of domestic abuse and it really shook me. It was a massive shock but also a turning point. It really put it into perspective for me. It really helped."

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Resources for identifying the risk victims face

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When someone is experiencing domestic abuse, it's vital to make an accurate and fast assessment of the danger they're in, so they can get the right help as quickly as possible. Our Dash risk checklist is a tried and tested way to understand risk. Dash stands for domestic abuse, stalking and 'honour'-based violence.

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Jane Monckton-Smith
3 mins

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1 hour 4 mins

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Homicide Timeline w/ Prof Jane Monckton Smith

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In your breakout rooms discuss:

1. What are you worried about?

2. If you were to talk to someone about "something not being right" - what would you say?

3. What is your professional judgement telling you at this point?

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Use the DASH Checklist to assess Jade and Aaron's case

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Safe & Together Institute

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Safe & Together Institute - Concrete strategies. Meaningful tools. Real change. | Formerly David Mandel & Associates LLC

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Concrete strategies. Meaningful tools. Real change. | Formerly David Mandel & Associates LLC

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Economic abuse – controlling finances and resources that money can buy like food, transportation and housing. Perp might control how a survivor acquires or spends money, they may exploit their income and spend money set aside for bills, damage property that produces losses or procures charges and try to sabotage their employment and resources. They could also take out debt in the survivor’s name, known as coerced debt, which can happen with or without the survivor’s knowledge. Sylvia Walby’s research states that women who can’t access £100 at short notice are 3.5 times more likely to experience coercive control. This stat is included on the description of economic abuse that is in our WHA Toolkit.

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If a current or former partner has interfered with your money or other economic resources in some way to limit your choices, this information is for you. It may support you to identify economic abuse and the next steps that you might take.

Economic abuse often occurs alongside other forms of abuse. It is commonly part of a pattern of behaviour called coercive control. If you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999. If you are not in immediate danger but have concerns about your safety, you can also call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247, which is a confidential, 24-hour service run by Refuge.

Information

Other support

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If a current or former partner has interfered with your money or other economic resources in some way to limit your choices, this information is for you. It may support you to identify economic abuse and the next steps that you might take. Economic abuse often occurs alongside other forms of abuse.

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elanie Brown is in her tracksuit talking to me from her Leeds home. Her mother has popped round and is chomping away on an Easter egg she has just found, despite the fact that Brown has made her some "amazing" spicy curry soup for lunch. Her oldest daughter, Phoenix, is going to extreme measures to get her attention. Meanwhile, tiny yorkshire terrier Cookie has jumped into Brown's arms, as her French bulldogs Yoshi and Yoda and golden doodle Luna wander around making mischief. It's a picture of contented domestic chaos.

But it wasn't always like this. Four years ago Brown, better known as Mel B or Scary Spice, was living in Los Angeles, married to the American film producer Stephen Belafonte and, she says, terrified for her life. In her 2018 memoir Brutally Honest, she documented the horror of her day-to-day existence - alleging physical, sexual, verbal and financial abuse.

Over the previous decade her life had become an elaborate lie as she announced to the world she had never been happier than with Belafonte. And yet she was seen with bruises on her face and arms, and stories emerged about how the famously extroverted Brown had become withdrawn and remote.

I experienced the deceit first-hand. The first time I interviewed her, in 2014, she presented her life as one long hedonistic, sex-tastic idyll. When I talked to her in 2018 she apologised and admitted it had been a pack of lies - the only way she knew to hide her shame and, more importantly, to survive. "It was my duty to lie because in my mind there was no way out," she says today. "You're living in a nightmare, and then tell the outside world that everything is fine because you're so embarrassed, and riddled with guilt, and worried that nobody's going to believe you." There were times, Brown says, she thought Belafonte would kill her, and other times when she felt suicidal.

Back in 2018 she was still loud, funny and filthy, but there was also something fragile about her. She had only recently come out of the relationship, and the trauma was just beginning to hit her. Today she seems stronger.

For the past three years she has had little time for music or television, apart from a Spice Girls reunion tour and an appearance in the talent show The Masked Singer. When she has not been focusing on rebuilding herself and her relationship with her family, she has been campaigning against domestic violence. Brown works with the charity Women's Aid, telling her story about domestic abuse and encouraging others to tell theirs. She has just made a devastating four-minute film about domestic abuse, Love Should Not Hurt. It is wordless and accompanied by a gorgeous piano soundtrack composed by Fabio D'Andrea, who also directed the film. The juxtaposition of gently entrancing music and chilling imagery works brilliantly, as we see a successful, wealthy woman kicked, punched and spat on by her partner. At the same time the couple present an image of enraptured bliss to friends. The film ends with a sobering statistic from the World Health Organization: one in three women globally are subjected to physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner, or sexual violence from a non-partner.

For so long, Brown says, she believed she was alone - convinced that nobody would understand how she got into that situation. Then she met up with a group of abuse survivors at a refuge in Leeds. "There were around 20 women sitting cross-legged on the floor and we all told our story. I told mine, then one woman went: 'Oh my God, I went through the same thing. He took my car keys away on week three.' We all had exactly the same story."

Brown and Belafonte were together for 10 years. At first, she says, she really did believe he was wonderful. He told her that everything he did was because he loved her and he wanted to make life easier for her. She hadn't heard of the term coercive control. "It starts with tiny things," she says. Such as? "'Oh, don't wear that dress - I've bought you this dress.'" Telling you what to wear is not so tiny, I say. "It wasn't like: 'Put this dress on!' It was: 'Look what I've bought for you! I saw you looking at it on Net-a-Porter.' And you think: 'Oh my God, that's so sweet!" when actually they're starting to take over everything."

Brown says he insisted she wore certain colours. "For the first year when I left my ex, I would only wear white because I felt I was clearing myself of that." And there is another reason, she says: "I didn't even know what colour I liked any more because those choices were taken away from me for so long. And I just accepted it." She was so desperate to escape reminders of Belafonte that she had a tattoo saying "Stephen, till death do us part, you own my heart" cut out and had her vagina surgically scraped and new tissue put in.

She had no self-esteem left. "I felt so much self-hate. I'd lied to so many people. Then I felt very angry that I'd let that person get away with all that for 10 years." She admits she ignored a warning from Belafonte's previous partner that he had a history of domestic violence. "My then-husband said: 'Oh, she's crazy.' And he was so convincing. I believed him over her. I was frightened to believe her." In 2003, Belafonte did not contest a charge of beating his then partner, the model Nicole Contreras.

Brown was ashamed of what she had become. And that shame was heightened by her former sense of self. She wasn't simply a Spice Girl - she was Scary Spice, who roared with confidence in her leopard-print outfits, showed her claws and told it as it was. Away from the stage, she was the strong, independent woman with three children from three men (22-year-old Phoenix's father is Brown's ex-husband, the dancer Jimmy Gulzar; 14-year-old Angel's father is actor-comedian Eddie Murphy; and nine-year-old Madison's father is Belafonte). She was fearless. Until Belafonte came along.

The strange thing is, she says, that before marrying Belafonte she knew so little about domestic abuse. Strange because she had grown up next to a refuge for battered women. Brown was raised in Leeds by her white, Yorkshire-born mother, Andrea, and her black father, Martin, who was from Saint Kitts and Nevis. Her family was huge, close and gregarious - her mother is one of seven children, and she grew up surrounded by aunts, uncles and cousins. It's only recently that she has started thinking about the refuge and the boy she briefly befriended there. "I'd never understood why Billy was there for only two weeks and when I went to play with him he was gone. It was a safe house. I knew there was somewhere women would flee to, but I never really understood it growing up. I never totally understood it till I was in my own situation."

After marrying Belafonte, she became more and more remote from her family. "He'd say: 'Why are you calling your mum today? Come on, let's go out.' Then you turn around and realise: 'Shit, I used to call my mum every day; I haven't spoken to her in a week!' Then that becomes a month and two months." It was only when she began speaking to abuse victims in Leeds that she realised how common coercive control is. "It's like abusers have all read the same handbook. Before you know it you don't have your own front door key, or you don't even drive your own car any more. Those 'privileges' which we worked so hard to get - your nice car, your nice house - are slowly taken away from you. Your power is taken away and the only person you have to rely on is your abuser." She doesn't once refer to Belafonte by name.

In 2017, hours before a trial relating to the alleged domestic violence was due to start in Los Angeles, Brown and Belafonte reached a private settlement. She had accused him of drugging her, hitting her, choking her and forcing her to make more than 20 sex tapes. He denied the allegations, and claimed she was addicted to cocaine and alcohol, impairing her ability to look after her children. Brown has admitted that at her nadir she would snort cocaine for breakfast. Before gaining joint custody of Madison, she had to undergo four months of drug and alcohol tests to prove she was clean.

Brown, 45, says she is still trying to work out why it took her so long to walk out on him. "I tried to leave seven times, so you can imagine how desperate I was in those 10 years. I didn't have anywhere to go, I didn't have my own credit card, I didn't have a car, I've got three kids, I was very on the edge of self-destruction." How close did she come to killing herself? "I self-medicated. I tried everything but trying to end it all, because that to me would mean he would win." Most importantly, it would have left her daughters without a mother. "It seems like the simplest thing, get up and leave, but when you've got kids involved there's other coercive control that comes on top of it, like: 'I'm going to take your kids away, I'm going to tell everyone you're a drug addict and alcoholic' - which he did."

Mel B with the Women's Aid report on domestic abuse, at Downing Street in 2019. Photograph: Sonja Horsman

She adds: "The abuse was directed at me - it was never on my kids. But obviously my kids heard things and they saw things."

In the end, she left when she heard her father was dying from cancer. She rushed from LA to Leeds to see him one last time. He hadn't spoken for months and had been in a coma. She says he opened his eyes and told her he loved her; she told him she was finally leaving Belafonte.

Brown is particularly concerned about domestic abuse at the moment because of the pandemic. In March, Refuge, which runs the national domestic abuse helpline, reported a 61% increase in calls and contacts logged over the previous year. In January, Women's Aid reported that some domestic abusers were using the lockdown rules to intensify or conceal violence, coercion and control.

"The pandemic has heightened everything," Brown says. "It's like an abuser's dream. They don't have to tell their partner: 'You're staying in because I told you.' They could just say: 'You're staying in because of lockdown. It's not just my rules now - it's the government's rules.' I'm four years out of an abusive relationship. If that was me four years ago in lockdown, I don't think I would have survived. My work was my salvation. Being on TV and doing what I loved was the one thing he couldn't touch, the one time he had no say on what I wore, how I did my hair, what I said." She pauses. "Nine times out of 10 I'd get home and have to deal with it then."

Brown does believe there is cause for optimism in the shape of the new Domestic Abuse Act, designed to protect those who experience domestic abuse and strengthen measures to tackle perpetrators. "It's not perfect, but it's a step in the right direction," Brown says. While it covers coercive control and economic abuse, which Brown regards as big victories, the act doesn't provide access to legal services for migrants.

I notice Brown looking away from the camera, and for the first time today there is that familiar roar of laughter. It's a welcome relief. " Phoenix!" She turns back to Zoom. "Phoenix is flashing me! This is so inappropriate." Phoenix tells her she's off to the park. "What park are you going to? Ah, don't leave me." But Phoenix is off. "She's 22," she says, as if she can't quite believe it. "My gosh!"

When she returned to Leeds, she says her mother assumed she would make a quick recovery now she was safe. But Brown knew it wouldn't be so simple. "My mother said: 'You're going to be fine now - you're back home.' And I thought, I know I'm not fine. I jump when somebody comes into the room, I wake up in night sweats still thinking I'm back in that bed in LA. There are so many things that have an after-effect that will probably go on for my entire life. I just have to learn how to deal with it. You can't erase those kind of traumas." Does she still have nightmares? "Not so much now. It was nearly every night. Now it's maybe twice a month."

Brown had planned to return to LA after a couple of weeks. But to her surprise Phoenix and Angel wanted to stay in Leeds. (Madison has been in LA for the past six months.) To her even greater surprise, she moved back in with her mother for the first time since she was 16.

I ask whether she has learned to trust people again. To an extent, she says. "I have a very different life to the one I had in LA. In LA you're surrounded by people and you don't know what their intentions are. Here I'm surrounded by normal, northern, salt-of-the-earth family. So I was really fortunate to be able to just slip back into that. I lived at my mum's for a year. Bless her, she made me come and live there with my kids. She just wanted to help me build myself back up, remind myself who I was." Did it feel safe back home? She smiles. "It felt very safe."

With her mum, Andrea, at the launch of Brutally Honest in 2018. Photograph: Richard Young/REX/Shutterstock

But even here there were problems. She says when she came home she was so angry - at herself, and even at her mother. "I was like: 'Mum, you were meant to know if I was in trouble - you were meant to have come and saved me.' She said: 'I didn't realise it was that bad.'" Hold on, I say, but when you spoke to her you would tell her you were fine? "Well, sometimes I'd call her crying but didn't have the words or courage to say what I needed to say."

Part of the problem was that they couldn't even discuss what had happened. "It took time before we could even talk about it without me crying or her crying or both of us crying. That's why they have support groups for families, because it's not just you who goes through abuse - it's your family. So you all need to come together and forgive and heal. You all have to be there for each other." Now she says there is no way she could have come this far without her mother.

Has she managed to regain trust in men? "For a good year and a half I couldn't even bear for somebody to stand near me or be hugged. Apart from hugging my kids and my family, anything else would make me feel traumatised. I was like, well, if I don't touch anybody and don't let anybody come near me, I'll be OK. You can't live like that. But the trust issue is always going to be there." She says she can't imagine being with somebody unless she has known them a long time - which she certainly never felt in the past. "It takes someone who is going to understand and be compassionate and take everything super-super-slow."

Is she in a relationship now? She nods. "I'm with someone who's very kind. Very, very kind. And more than anything we're really good friends from way back." Is that someone in Leeds? "I'm not telling you!" she screams, old-school. "It's private! Please, everything else is out in the open. Jesus!" And she bursts out laughing.

She calls out mid-sentence. "Mother!" The formality surprises me. " Motherrrrr! " she shouts again. Does she always call her mother? "Yes! Mother, you're eating chocolate. I thought you were going to eat healthy! My soup's downstairs, Mother." She ticks her off affectionately. Andrea comes into the camera's view, waves and looks bashful about the Easter egg. And now we're drowned out by barking dogs. "This big fluffy one is pregnant," she says, pointing to Luna. She says she loves being back in Leeds, points to the window and tells me there are cows and sheep in the back garden.

She gives me a quick tour, pointing to a leopard-skin chest of drawers. "I've got my leopard-skin chest here, of course." Perhaps you could pop out of it next time the Spice Girls tour? "Ha! I won't fit in it. My boobs are too big to be able to fit in that. Hahahaha!"

It's great to hear some of the batty, fun-loving Mel B of old. I ask if she has learned to like herself again. She thinks about it. "Yeah," she says. "I genuinely do. It took me a long time to say that, but I think I'm really engaging, and I'm really nosy, which makes for a good listener. Yeah, I think I'm great."

In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or by emailing jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org.

For domestic abuse information and support, contact Women's Aid at womensaid.org.uk

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Mel B on domestic abuse, trauma and recovery: 'In my mind there was no way out'

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elanie Brown is in her tracksuit talking to me from her Leeds home. Her mother has popped round and is chomping away on an Easter egg she has just found, despite the fact that Brown has made her some "amazing" spicy curry soup for lunch.

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The original source of the P&C Wheel, including a short video explaining the tactics of abuse used by perpetrators.

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Thank you for visiting our Wheel Information Center. By using the links titled, About the Wheels, Download Wheel Images, and Publish/Adapt wheels, you will find answers to common questions regarding the wheel(s), the Wheel Library, and how to submit a request to publish or adapt a copywritten wheel image.

As a resource to help deepen the understanding of the tactics listed on the Power and Control wheel, we have included individual short videos that have been narrated by Scott Miller ( DAIP's current Executive Director).

For further questions, please contact our training department at training@theduluthmodel.org.

To purchase poster-sized wheels, click here.

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Wheels - Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs

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Thank you for visiting our Wheel Information Center. By using the links titled, About the Wheels, Download Wheel Images, and Publish/Adapt wheels, you will find answers to common questions regarding the wheel(s), the Wheel Library, and how to submit a request to publish or adapt a copywritten wheel image.

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Assessment due after Module 4 - there are 5 tasks to complete.

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Assessment due after Module 4 - there are 5 tasks to complete.

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Refer to the linked document and your Workbook. Time will be allowed at the end of Module 4 to work on the tasks, and answer any questions or concerns.

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_Task Workbook Appendix 1_Assessment Tasks & Due Dates_May 2021 (2)

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Kimberlé Crenshaw: What is intersectionality

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Kimberlé Crenshaw: What is intersectionality

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Practical x 2

Reflective

Learned a lot I can use in the real world

Stages of coercive control

AVAA

Collaboration

Useful - a lot of stuff to use in SG

Very informative

Enjoyed (refresher for me)

Enlightened

Awareness - esp. re unconscious bias

Substance - covered a lot of practical info and tools

Challenging

Greater insight

Improvement - knowledge (esp unconscious bias)

Videos really helpful, improved understanding, how we can use resources to get people thinking

Feel more confident than at the start

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Here is a useful self-assessment tool by Fallot and Harris that provides more information about each aspect of their model

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Here is a useful self-assessment tool by Fallot and Harris that provides more information about each aspect of their model

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Module 4: Barriers to asking & disclosing

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Module 4: Barriers to asking & disclosing

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It will be good practice to discuss S4A in our weekly team catch up - have added to my to-do list

S4A - made me think about how people can contact us. How can we do this better now people can't come into the office

Because we are WFH and people not coming into office how can we better enable people to have access to information about DA that is very visible in the office (lobby, toilets etc) - start thinking about alternate ways.

How important TRUST is and also reassurance if we are encouraging disclosures

Trauma informed responses - going to try and get training for frontline workers

Being mindful about how to ask questions and recording case notes - useful to think about writing case notes as if survivors will read them. Having a believing approach.

The importance of planning and preparation - the case studies/role play showed you need to think about planning, rehearsing questions etc

Harris and Fallot Trauma Informed Model was very useful, not just work in housing but in another area of my work

The importance of continuing the relationship with someone, not just being "action-focused" and then terminating with client. Keeping the relationship going, and the door open.

AVAA Model - the importance of believing, non-judgemental approach, validating - language is so important.

Space for Action - thought provoking, asking 'what more can we do'?

Space for Action - not always something we'd use in refuge, as the survivors have reached safety, but now thinking in terms of housing staff having tools and awareness to increase survivors' S4A

Noticing the language and terminology we use when working with survivors. The role play activity was useful, not just in how to work with survivors but in how to support our staff.

Enjoyed the role play, also Space for Action and thinking about tactics we can use for engagement

Space for Action and reflective practice - "none of us knows everything"