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In 1995, psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman published a book introducing most of the world to the nascent concept of emotional intelligence. The idea--that an ability to understand and manage emotions greatly increases our chances of success--quickly took off, and it went on to greatly influence the way people think about emotions and human behavior.

But what does emotional intelligence look like, as manifested in everyday life?

For the past two years, I've explored that question in researching my forthcoming book, In doing so, I've identified a number of actions that illustrate how emotional intelligence appears in the real world.

1. You think about feelings.

Emotional intelligence begins with what is called self- and social awareness, the ability to recognize emotions (and their impact) in both yourself and others.

That awareness begins with reflection. You ask questions like:

What are my emotional strengths? What are my weaknesses?

How does my current mood affect my thoughts and decision making?

What's going on under the surface that influences what others say or do?

Pondering questions like these yield valuable insights that can be used to your advantage.

The pause is as simple as taking a moment to stop and think before you speak or act. (Easy in theory, difficult in practice.) This can help save you from embarrassing moments or from making commitments too quickly.

In other words, pausing helps you refrain from making a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.

3. You strive to control your thoughts.

You don't have much control over the emotion you experience in a given moment. But you can control your reaction to those emotions--by focusing on your thoughts. (As it's been said: You can't prevent a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest.)

By striving to control your thoughts, you resist becoming a slave to your emotions, allowing yourself to live in a way that's in harmony with your goals and values.

4. You benefit from criticism.

Nobody enjoys negative feedback. But you know that criticism is a chance to learn, even if it's not delivered in the best way. And even when it's unfounded, it gives you a window into how others think.

When you receive negative feedback, you keep your emotions in check and ask yourself: How can this make me better?

5. You show authenticity.

Authenticity doesn't mean sharing everything about yourself, to everyone, all of the time. It does mean saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and sticking to your values and principles above all else.

You know not everyone will appreciate your sharing your thoughts and feelings. But the ones who matter will.

6. You demonstrate empathy.

The ability to show empathy, which includes understanding others' thoughts and feelings, helps you connect with others. Instead of judging or labeling others, you work hard to see things through their eyes.

Empathy doesn't necessarily mean agreeing with another person's point of view. Rather, it's about striving to understand--which allows you to build deeper, more connected relationships.

7. You praise others.

All humans crave acknowledgement and appreciation. When you commend others, you satisfy that craving and build trust in the process.

This all begins when you focus on the good in others. Then, by sharing specifically what you appreciate, you inspire them to be the best version of themselves.

8. You give helpful feedback.

Negative feedback has great potential to hurt the feelings of others. Realizing this, you reframe criticism as constructive feedback, so the recipient sees it as helpful instead of harmful.

9. You apologize.

It takes strength and courage to be able to say you're sorry. But doing so demonstrates humility, a quality that will naturally draw others to you.

Emotional intelligence helps you realize that apologizing doesn't always mean you're wrong. It does mean valuing your relationship more than your ego.

10. You forgive and forget.

Hanging on to resentment is like leaving a knife inside a wound. While the offending party moves on with their life, you never give yourself the chance to heal.

When you forgive and forget, you prevent others from holding your emotions hostage--allowing you to move forward.

11. You keep your commitments.

It's common nowadays for people to break an agreement or commitment when they feel like it. Of course, bailing on an evening of Netflix with a friend will cause less harm than breaking a promise to your child or missing a major business deadline.

But when you make a habit of keeping your word--in things big and small--you develop a strong reputation for reliability and trustworthiness.

12. You help others.

One of the greatest ways to positively impact the emotions of others is to help them.

Most people don't really care where you graduated from, or even about your previous accomplishments. But what about the hours you're willing to take out of your schedule to listen or help out? Your readiness to get down in the trenches and work alongside them?

Actions like these build trust and inspire others to follow your lead when it counts.

13. You protect yourself from emotional sabotage.

You realize that emotional intelligence also has a dark side--such as when individuals attempt to manipulate others' emotions to promote a personal agenda or for some other selfish cause.

And that's why you continue to sharpen your own emotional intelligence--to protect yourself when they do.

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In 1995, psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman published a book introducing most of the world to the nascent concept of emotional intelligence. The idea--that an ability to understand and manage emotions greatly increases our chances of success--quickly took off, and it went on to greatly influence the way people think about emotions and human behavior.

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If you want to become a team leader or manager, you'll have to demonstrate that you can lead without having an official role to point to. Here's how you do that, from organizational psychologist David Burkus PhD.

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If you want to become a team leader or manager, you'll have to demonstrate that you can lead without having an official role to point to. Here's how you do that, from organizational psychologist David Burkus PhD.

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What made Moses in the Bible a great leader was not that great miracles followed him. It was that he was meek enough to receive feedback.

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What made Moses in the Bible a great leader was not that great miracles followed him. It was that he was meek enough to receive feedback.

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Company leaders are facing a crisis. Nearly one-third of employees don't trust management. In addition to this, employers now have to cater to the needs of the millennial generation. On average, after graduating from college, a millennial will change jobs four times before they are 32. Most of them also don't feel empowered on their current jobs.

It's clear that many leaders are failing to foster a sense of trust and loyalty in their employees. Fortunately, that doesn't have to be the case. Managers who show great leadership qualities can inspire their teams to accomplish amazing things, according to Daniel Wang, the creator of Loopring Protocol and founder of the Loopring Foundation. Loopring is a decentralized automated execution system that trades across the crypto-token exchanges. The platform reduces the cost of trading and shields users from counterparty risk. I've distilled my conversation with Wang to eight of the most essential qualities that make a great leader.
1. Sincere enthusiasm
True enthusiasm for a business, its products, and its mission cannot be faked. Employees can recognize insincere cheerleading from a mile away. However, when leaders are sincerely enthusiastic and passionate, that's contagious. For instance, someone who worked with Elon Musk on the early stages of his SpaceX project said that the true driver behind the success of the project was Musk's enthusiasm for space travel.

Wang says being enthusiastic helps a leader identify existing key problems in his industry. "Any innovation starts from these problems and ends with products and services, with some of the key issues resolved," he said.
2. Integrity
Whether it's giving proper credit for accomplishments, acknowledging mistakes, or putting safety and quality first, great leaders exhibit integrity at all times. They do what's right, even if that isn't the best thing for the current project or even the bottom line.

"When people see evidence that leaders lack integrity, that can be nearly impossible to recover from," Wang said. "Trust lost is difficult to get back."
3. Great communication skills
Leaders must motivate, instruct and discipline the people they are in charge of. They can accomplish none of these things if they aren't very skilled communicators. Not only that, poor communication can lead to poor outcomes. Leaders who fail to develop these skills are often perceived as being weak and mealy-mouthed, according to Wang. It's also important to remember that listening is an integral part of communication.
4. Loyalty
The best leaders understand that true loyalty is reciprocal. Because of this, they express that loyalty in tangible ways that benefit the member of their teams. True loyalty is ensuring that all team members have the training and resources to do their jobs. It's standing up for team members in crisis and conflict.

"Great leaders see themselves as being in a position of service to their team members," Wang said. "Employees who believe leadership is loyal to them are much more likely to show their own loyalty when it matters."
5. Decisiveness
A good leader isn't simply empowered to make decisions due to their position. They are willing to take on the risk of decision making. They make these decisions and take risks knowing that if things don't work out, they'll need to hold themselves accountable first and foremost.

Further, bosses who aren't decisive are often ineffective. Too much effort working on consensus building can have a negative effect. Rather than simply making a decision, many leaders allow debate to continue, and then create a piecemeal decision that satisfies no one.
6. Managerial competence
Too many organizations try to create leaders from people who are simply good at their jobs. To be clear, those who emerge as being very good workers often have important qualities. They are the ones who have a strong understanding of the company's products and services. They understand company goals, processes, and procedures. All of these are important.

On the other hand, being good at one's job doesn't prove that someone possesses the other competencies they need. For example, can they inspire, motivate, mentor and direct? Wang illustrates with major league baseball. While nearly all coaches have backgrounds as major league players, the most winning players aren't necessarily the most successful coaches.
7. Empowerment
A good leader has faith in their ability to train and develop the employees under them. Because of this, they have the willingness to empower those they lead to act autonomously. Wang says this comes from trusting that their team members are fully up to any challenges they face. When employees are empowered, they are more likely to make decisions that are in the best interest of the company and the customer as well. This is true, even if it means allowing workers to go a bit off script.
8. Charisma
Simply put, people are more likely to follow the lead of those they like. The best leaders are well-spoken, approachable and friendly. They show sincere care for others.

"People at all levels of an organization find it easy to relate to them and follow their lead," Wang concluded.

Every one of these qualities is absolutely essential to great leadership. Without them, leaders cannot live up to their full potential. As a result, their employees will never perform as well as they can either. Because of this, organizations must learn the best ways to identify and also to develop these necessary traits in existing and emerging leaders.

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8 Essential Qualities That Define Great Leadership

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Company leaders are facing a crisis. Nearly one-third of employees don't trust management. In addition to this, employers now have to cater to the needs of the millennial generation. On average, after graduating from college, a millennial will change jobs four times before they are 32.

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While servant leadership is a timeless concept, the phrase "servant leadership" was coined by Robert K. Greenleaf in The Servant as Leader, an essay that he first published in 1970. In that essay, Greenleaf said:

"The servant-leader is servant first... It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions...The leader-first and the servant-first are two extreme types. Between them there are shadings and blends that are part of the infinite variety of human nature.

"The difference manifests itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make sure that other people's highest priority needs are being served. The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?"

A servant-leader focuses primarily on the growth and well-being of people and the communities to which they belong. While traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by one at the "top of the pyramid," servant leadership is different. The servant-leader shares power, puts the needs of others first and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible.

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What is Servant Leadership? - Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership

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While servant leadership is a timeless concept, the phrase "servant leadership" was coined by Robert K. Greenleaf in The Servant as Leader, an essay that he first published in 1970. In that essay, Greenleaf said: "The servant-leader is servant first... It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first.

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Access the essential membership for Modern Managers

What makes a truly exceptional leader? Chances are we've all encountered them at some point in our careers: those leaders who stand out above the rest. Those who bring out the best in every one of their team members, and who consistently strive for greatness.

Take Molly for example. Everyone respects Molly. She inspires and encourages her team members, while expecting and demonstrating the highest standards. In return, her people are fiercely loyal, and they're highly successful - as individuals, and as a team. In short, Molly is a Transformational Leader.

By contrast, other leaders in the organization report that their people seem disengaged. They experience high staff turnover, and their results are often disappointing. So, what does Molly do that other leaders don't?

To begin with, Molly regularly reminds her team members of the purpose of their work. And she knows that she's a role model for her team, so she acts with integrity in all of her working relationships.

In this article and video, we'll explore what transformational leadership is, and discover what it takes to become a transformational leader.

What Is Transformational Leadership?

Leadership expert James MacGregor Burns introduced the concept of transformational leadership in his 1978 book, "Leadership." He defined transformational leadership as a process where "leaders and their followers raise one another to higher levels of morality and motivation." [1]

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Watch this video to learn the definition of Transformational Leadership. Explore the theory behind this leadership style, and discover the characteristics of transformational leaders.

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Lead with purpose.

ISM began with a simple vision-strengthen private-independent schools by empowering school leaders who have dedicated their lives to helping children succeed. Founders Rod and Anne Snelling started with the creation of Ideas & Perspectives in 1975, an advisory periodical filled with best practices, insights, and resources. As new challenges arose in the community, ISM responded with options to help leaders navigate and overcome obstacles.

Today, ISM is a company of three divisions and nearly 25 departments still driven by the same mission-advance school leadership to enrich the student experience.

Advisory

Consulting services, surveys, research, publications, and professional development events to help you meet your school's mission.
Strong leaders. Powerful partnerships.

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Great schools have great benefits.

Software

Tools made specifically to serve the needs of private-independent schools.
Empowered schools make informed decisions.

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Home | Independent School Management | Advancing School Leadership-Enriching The Student Experience

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Lead with purpose. ISM began with a simple vision-strengthen private-independent schools by empowering school leaders who have dedicated their lives to helping children succeed. Founders Rod and Anne Snelling started with the creation of Ideas & Perspectives in 1975, an advisory periodical filled with best practices, insights, and resources.

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Free personality test - take it to find out why our readers say that this personality test is so accurate, "it's a little bit creepy." No registration required!

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This is the best weekly resource I have found.

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Failure is not an option. Failure is necessary. We try. We fail. We learn. We adjust - Craig Groeschel

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Failure is not an option. Failure is necessary. We try. We fail. We learn. We adjust - Craig Groeschel

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Copyright 2016 The John Maxwell Company. Articles accessed via http://www.johnmaxwell.com may not be reprinted or reproduced without written permission from The John Maxwell Company, except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles.

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Don’t worry when you meet opposition for obeying God. Worry when you don’t have opposition, because you’re probably not obeying God - Craig Groeschel 

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Don’t worry when you meet opposition for obeying God. Worry when you don’t have opposition, because you’re probably not obeying God - Craig Groeschel 

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Just because you’re functioning, doesn’t mean you’re healthy - Josh Williams

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Just because you’re functioning, doesn’t mean you’re healthy - Josh Williams

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Where are you having to manufacture energy? - Andy Stanley

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Where are you having to manufacture energy? - Andy Stanley

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People either don’t go or don’t continue counseling/therapy for one of two reasons: they are afraid they can’t change, or they are afraid the price to change will be too great - Kate Goodell

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People either don’t go or don’t continue counseling/therapy for one of two reasons: they are afraid they can’t change, or they are afraid the price to change will be too great - Kate Goodell

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Get out of the boat. Face your fears. Fail. Learn. Adjust. Try again. And watch God do more than you can imagine -Craig Groeschel

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Get out of the boat. Face your fears. Fail. Learn. Adjust. Try again. And watch God do more than you can imagine -Craig Groeschel

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The fact is, you can’t marry the best when you’re dating the runner-up. While you’re searching for Mr. right, don’t settle for Mr. right now - Craig Groeschel

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The fact is, you can’t marry the best when you’re dating the runner-up. While you’re searching for Mr. right, don’t settle for Mr. right now - Craig Groeschel

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We are faith-filled, big thinking, bet-the-farm risk takers. We’ll never insult God with small thinking and safe living - Craig Groeschel 

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We are faith-filled, big thinking, bet-the-farm risk takers. We’ll never insult God with small thinking and safe living - Craig Groeschel 