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Effective mentoring model

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Effective mentoring is a two-way street, meaning that both mentor and mentoree must actively participate in the relationship to make it work. So what would an effective mentoring relationship look like? Here are some signs...

1. The mentor and mentoree look forward to their time together.
Mentoring shouldn't feel like a chore. Instead, both mentors and mentorees should look forward to meeting and discussing progress and challenges, deepening the relationship, and enjoying lighthearted moments as well (e.g. laughter, good stories).

2. The mentoree feels the transformative effect of mentoring.
An effective mentoring relationship results in the mentoree's personal and professional transformation. When the mentoring relationship "is right," the mentoree will feel this in much the same way a person knows when a new friendship or romantic relationship "feels right." The mentoree is enthusiastic about the relationship, looks forward to meetings, is excited by the progress she/he is making, and so forth.

3. The mentoree sees actual evidence of the transformative effect of mentoring.
Of course, effective mentoring is more than just a feeling. Over the course of relationship, the mentoree will see actual evidence that he/she is transforming on a professional and personal level (i.e. the mentoring objectives the pair identified will be met).

For example, if the mentoree is working on feeling more self-confident and assertive in the workplace, the mentoree might find herself/himself participating more in group brainstorming discussions (and that it gets easier every time) or advocating for a lead role on a project.

4. The mentor does more than simply show up for the scheduled meetings.
Yes, the mentoree does the heavy lifting in a mentoring relationship, but the mentor still plays a pivotal role, one that extends beyond the regularly scheduled meetings. The most effective mentoring relationships often involve mentors who remain involved beyond the meetings. They might text the mentoree to see how the presentation went or share an article that might be relevant to the mentoree in some way.

5. Both mentor and mentoree provide detailed feedback to the program manager.
One sign of a good relationship is when the mentor and mentoree have a lot to say to when the program manager conducts check-ins. Happy mentors and mentorees typically want to share their experiences, including the positive changes that are happening and the challenges they've overcome.

6. The mentor and mentoree don't avoid difficult conversations.
Effective mentoring doesn't mean everything is hunky-dory 100% of the time. Life happens. Challenges come up. Hard conversations sometimes need to happen. The mentors and mentorees who have the most success are the ones who don't shy away from these things and who aren't afraid to ask for help from the program manager when necessary.
How do you define an effective mentoring relationship? Share your ideas and experiences in the comments.

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This is What Effective Mentoring Looks Like

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Effective mentoring is a two-way street, meaning that both mentor and mentoree must actively participate in the relationship to make it work. So what would an effective mentoring relationship look like? Here are some signs... Mentoring shouldn't feel like a chore.

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Further resources and ideas from SDC mentor conference

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Further resources and ideas from SDC mentor conference

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Further resources from the Society for Education and Training mentoring course

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Further resources from the Society for Education and Training mentoring course

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Staff perceptions of mentoring in FE

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Ethical guidelines

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Introductory chapter

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Sample chapter from a really useful book (copy in LRC)

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School-based standards

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Mentees - preparing for your mentoring meeting

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In a one-on-one mentoring relationship, many mentorees may make the mistake of assuming that the onus is on the mentor to prepare the schedule and the agenda for meetings with their mentorees. Not so! The primary purpose of the mentoring relationship is to help to develop the mentoree. Therefore, the mentoree should be pro-active and help to create an agenda and a relationship that reflects the types of goals he/she would like to achieve. Mentors are offering their valuable time to their mentorees. It is the mentoree's responibility to make the most of that time (think "you get what you pay for").

Fast Company published an article titled 6 Ways To Make The Most Of Your Mentorship, Dear Grasshopper. In this article, an executive who has mentored many individuals for over 30 years, Alice Korngold, is interviewed. Korngold details one experience that stands out in her mind--unfortunately it is not a positive one. She says that her mentoree arrived at their first meeting completely unprepared. She felt that her time had been undervalued by the mentoree. "I felt an imposition that she hadn't prepared. I think its the mentee's responsibility to do their homework to understand the background, expertise, and value of the mentor, and ask for what they need."

So how do you prepare for your meeting with your mentor? Here are 6 tips to help you get your mentoring relationship off on the right foot:

1. Be prepared
Prepare yourself for your meeting with anything agreed upon and with an issue to discuss that's important to you. There is always something to discuss since events have occurred between the current meeting and the last one. The issue need not be monumental--sometimes simple things can lead to great discussions and insights.

2. Think commitment, not lip service.

Regular, ongoing contact is one of the most important building blocks for successful mentoring. Agree with your mentor to meet on a regular and ongoing basis and avoid canceling appointments.

3. Give back and get more.

Mentors don't usually ask how the mentoree has benefitted from the relationship. Take the time to share examples and to say "thank you" on occasion, and you'll often find that the mentor will give more without your having to ask. Sharing how a mentor has been helpful in the past gives the mentor guidance on how to be helpful in the future.

4. Keep expectations realistic.

Unstated assumptions or expectations can easily derail a relationship. To avoid this, you and your mentor should both discuss your expectations of each other and the relationship. For example, discuss how often you'll meet or what areas you will work on. When there's a change in expectations, discuss this as well. Relationships grow and change and so do expectations, so those agreed upon early on may not be the same later. Have periodic conversations to discuss your mutual expectations.

5. It's risky, but it's healthy.

A mentoring relationship is not meant to make you comfortable with where you are. It should challenge you both professionally and personally. This can't happen unless you're willing to take risks. What kind of risks? Whatever makes sense, but things like discussing your lack of confidence, challenging a mentor on an issue, trying something completely outside your comfort zone are all examples. Taking risks is an integral part of growth and well-being. So by taking risks, you're actually getting healthier!

6. Don't be afraid of your mentor's silence.

You're in a mentoring session and you seem to run out of things to say, and your mentor isn't helping because all she or he is doing is keeping quiet. This is a good thing! Your mentor's silence is inviting you to probe more deeply into what is on your mind, and it's an opportunity to share more deeply in the relationship. In this situation, pause and look inside yourself to try and get at what is of immediate concern or on your mind and share that with your mentor. The possibilities of what may happen are endless.

Homework, logistics, emotions. These are all important aspects of preparing for your meetings and your relationship with your mentor. Now, if you would really like to "WOW" your mentor, download our free resource Creating A Successful Mentoring Relationship and bring it to your first mentoring session. You and your mentor can map out a mentoring plan together and no one can accuse you of coming to your next mentoring meeting unprepared!

To learn how mentoring can help you foster your career development, check out our free white paper by clicking the button below.

Image Credit: © Revensis | Dreamstime.com

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How to Prepare for Your Meeting With Your Mentor

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In a one-on-one mentoring relationship, many mentorees may make the mistake of assuming that the onus is on the mentor to prepare the schedule and the agenda for meetings with their mentorees. Not so! The primary purpose of the mentoring relationship is to help to develop the mentoree.

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Mentoring in FE: staff perceptions

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Mentoring on the move

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Perhaps the need is being superseded by the emphasis that many global businesses are placing on mentoring for diversity which encourages employees to work comfortably with colleagues from different backgrounds, regardless of whether they themselves travel.

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Clarifies the distinction between mentoring and coaching.

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Available here for £9.99

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Critical Publishing | Mentoring: Getting it Right in a Week By Jonathan Gravells Series edited by Susan Wallace

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Assignment tasks and criteria (for info) 

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Assignment tasks and criteria (for info) 

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It would also be useful to look at these in advance of the course.

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Before you watch, what is your experience of giving/being given feedback in a mentoring relationship? What principles underpin effective feedback? Now compare with this second video clip. Sign via https://estream.southdevon.ac.uk Full link: https://estream.southdevon.ac.uk/View.aspx?id=1211~4f~EfD2uUCf

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Before you watch this short clip, make a list of "dos and don'ts" for mentors.

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Task 3 - you will need to watch this on site

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Task 3 - you will need to watch this on site

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Before you watch this short clip, think about why and how you might want to set boundaries with a mentee. Sign in via https://estream.southdevon.ac.uk to access. Full link: https://estream.southdevon.ac.uk/View.aspx?id=1210~4e~csnqKVqS

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Read the highlighted section on page 6, then complete the questionnaires on pages 11-17 of the document itself.

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Try to define the term "mentoring", then read the page and see if you agree.

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Here are five short tasks along with resources to accompany each one.