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A young man with so many ambitions and certainly was not afraid to say what was on his mind...

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In my relatively young life, I have read dozens of books and they all shared a similar theme about a young person with big dreams. Now, in most of them the person obviously goes through the most grueling events but somehow they make it to the end with a happily ever after. Some part of me has always wanted to see what would happen if the person did not have that type of ending. I rarely read books based on true stories and even those had good endings. I was actually intrigued to find a book that had the ending I was looking for. Moreover, most of the time I thought Chris was a rich kid who only wanted to experience the harships he could control. However, I found myself wishing for the first time ever, that the ending he got never actually happened. Overall, I have very mixed feelings about Chris McCandless, his goals, actions, and what could have been.

The Good: One thing that I noticed about McCandless was sense of being straight forward most of the time or only lying/omitting the truth when he thought it was best. I'm a person who is often indecisive about their feelings and find that lies create uneeded misunderstanding so this was something I felt I had in common with him. I sensed his hatred for lies specfically from others especially when it came to his family and the fact that his father, Walt McCandless, had hidden his ongoing relationship with his first family. If I were Chris, I would not tread lightly around lies either. Another aspect of Chris I thought was sweet is that even though it seemed he rarely got close with anybody he knew, he still relied on his sister. In chapter three there was a part where we were shown that he had written a letter to Carine just venting about their parents. He was clearly not afraid to hide anything from her which I thought was again, very sweet. Lastly, as I said I am very indecisive most of the time so the fact that he said to heck with it and basically travelled the continent with not set plan is brave to me. I am not even sure on my major for college and he managed to through caution to the wind.

The bad: Now, for the most part I felt that Chris had a developing superiority complex or just wanted to always be the one in control. I was especially furious when he kept going back to Ron Franz but it seemed he was just using him as a personally driver. Ron is a really sweet guy but for Chris to just avoid all of that, he had to of known how Ron felt. When he called Ron to give him a ride one last time before heading to South Dakota, in my head I said, "wow this guy really has the audicity to treat this old man like this!". Moreover, I feel like because of how Chris was raised and because of his appearance many of the things he did on his journey were outright stupid if someone else was doing them. I get that when one wants to rough it they do anything to experience it but come one, burning the money he had with him was dumb. That money could have saved his life if needed it and others would be grateful for even a dollar. Also, him hitchiking could have been seriously dangerous especially for women or people of color.

That being said, I could sense that Alaska had truly changed something in Chris. Maybe the things he experienced set him back into reality and honestly I was really interested to see what he would do with this. That it why despite the pros and the cons, I did not want his story to end like that. Chris McCandless, might have reverted back to his old ways or maybe he would make changes like fixing his family relationships. Who knows! What I do know is that nobody is perfect and that his story was bound to change even more if he was alive.

#Imperfectmakesushuman #Whyburnmoney #Liveonalexsupertramp

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An inured/abandoned sloth, healing in the safety of its sanctuary..

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I distinctlly remember at ten years old I was fresh out of elementary school and was casually scrolling through youtube videos on my little old tabelet. Eventually I came across a video showing a cute baby sloth hanging off what looked like a jungle gym. After clicking one video I was entranced and that is all I would watch for the whole summer. Soon I found out it was a documentary about a sanctuary in the jungle of Costa Rica. You see, in various areas of Costa Rica sloths were prone to injury by hunters, getting ran over, and even baby sloths were abonded by their mothers or became orphans when they perished. With each video I felt a sense of calm and safety from the sanctuary. I often laughed at the mischiefiveness young sloths that gave their handlers trouble and sympathized with the young sloths who had lost someone before coming to the sanctuary. It was my sanctuary as much as it was theirs.

As I entered my first year of middle school, I became anxious and by the end of my eigth grade year I was suffering from panic attacks. Throughout those three rough years, I often looked back at that summer and how happy I felt just being among the sloths. From then on I made it my goal to visit the sanctuary at least once. That being said, I decided the best time to do it is after I graduate from college. I want to work as a volunteer at the Sloth Sanctuary of Costa Rica for about 3-6 months, or about as much as I can afford. The owner of the sanctuary has frequently commented on how many volunteers have felt refreshed and like they had a bit of clarity when they worked with the sloths. After what I'm sure is gonna be a grueling four years in college, I think there is nothing better than tending to such slow and for the most part gentle creatures. It is a good way to end my educational journey that started when I finished 5th grade and hopefully ends when I get my degree.

#SereneSloths #Healing&clarity #17yearodyssey

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Chris McCandless would have survived if it were not for such as beautiful but deadly plant...

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Summary: 23 years after McCandless's death, Krakauer was still curious about what exactly had killed him. He knew for sure that the young man was poisoned but wanted to know by what. The first clues appeared in McCandless's diary (para. 3) where he wrote about beign weakened by the wild eskimo potato plant seed. Finally, Krakauer was given some crucial piece of information from Ronald Hamilton who informed him that Nazis used to do cruel experiments on Jewish people where they fed them various seeds to see which were poisonous. Some contained a neurotoxin called beta-ODAP. Krakauer made the decision to send the same seeds (para. 1) McCandless ate, to a lab in Indiana University. They indeed found some beta-ODAP in the seeds and Krakauer thought the case was finally solved. However, many doubted this conclusion including scientists so he sent them to get even more thoroughly tested. It cost him $20k but 9 months (para. 9) later he found a different answer. The seeds had also contained another toxin called L-canavanine. This toxin was known to short-circuit the metabolism and cause absolute havoc (para. 10) for the body. Now, the potato plant in question is known to cover itself in a toxic shell in the colder months to survive against predators. It seems that the Alaskan natives knew of this and that is why they never ate them in winter. Sadly, McCandless did not and the L-canavine could be that same toxic shell. Moreover, to this day there is still some doubt of his cause of death even after such a recent discovery but there is no question that he would have survived (para. 20) for way longer if he had known about the plant's deathly winter plans.

Analysis: I find it honestly very impressive just how committed Krakauer was to McCandless's story and finding the truth. The fact that he spent about $20k just to quell the doubt many had with the first lab test he did, is scary in itself. Considering all this, I find it interesting that all of these years of research, all the money, and all the negative/positive public feedback he received, would not have happened if McCandless chose to ignore the seeds. It seems to me that it was a careless risk McCandless took in eating the seeds when in the books he read the only safe part of the plant was the root. I would like to believe that McCandless was smart enough to make more research regarding the seeds since they were barelt mentioned in his books. Now looking at how many times Krakauer had to go back and revise his work as well as how many mistakes McCandless made; it is safe to say that even those with great intelligence are still bound to make mistakes.

#Shouldvestucktorice #Poisonouspotato #Doyouresearchfirst

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Billie McCandless visiting the final home of her beloved son...

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Summary: Jon Krakauer visited bus 142 with Chris McCandless's parents in hope of seeing how their son lived. Ten (pg. 201) months after their son's passing they finally made the decision to visit the bus although Walt McCandless was irratable and felt uncomfortable. Their original plan was to reluve Chris's journey to the bus (pg 202) including the river crossing but nature had other plans. Instead, they took a helicopter and in the 4 days it took their son to reach the bus, it took them 15 minutes. For two hours, Billie and Walt McCandless spent time in and out of the bus. Billie was extremely sentimental and found wonder in each of Chris's things that were left behind. So much so that when she discovered his patched jeans she stated you could still smell (pg. 202) him in them. Walt however, was still aprehensive but soon began to understand his son. Billie right away understood why Chris loved the bus, because it reminded even herself so much of home. Walt had a understanding (pg. 203) for some of Chris's choices especially after seeing the beauty of the Alaskan wilderness. Alas, the parents bid farewell to the bus after leaving a plaque for their son and extra supplies for future hikers. They got back into the helicopter and watched the bus get smaller and soon be gone (pg. 203) just like Chris.

Analysis: I found it very endearing that Billie was not at all uncomfortable with touching and using Chris's things. It showed how after such a long time, she longed to feel connected to her son even if it meant smelling his old jeans. It seems the trip to the bus gave some type of clarity to the couple even more so Walt who still felt he did not understand his son at all. At the end he did admit he was still confused about many aspects of Chris's life but at least he made an effort to understand this part of his short life. They also kept mentioning the silence and to me this in a way is saying that they had gone to a place kind of stuck in time with Chris's stuff all still there. Then they were taken back to the present and began to move on when the noise of the helicopter returned.

#LettingGo #Busfeelslikehome #Gonebutneverforgotten

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Summary:  After realizing that he would have to wait for a few more weeks until the river was passible, McCandless went back to his usual routine. However, upon further inspection as to what he had annotated in his books, in one of the last books he read Doctor Zhivago, it is clear that something had changed in McCandless. After reading a certain passage explaining the wonders in finding refuge in nature (pg. 189), he writes "HAPPINESS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED (pg. 190)". This is maybe a hint that McCandless was ready to change his ways, beliefs, and how he approached social relationships. Furthermore, despite this optimistic discovery, the discoveries following this are direr and prove his fatal ending. In his makeshift journal, McCandless writes about feeling weak after eating some potato seeds (pg. 190). Now, there are three main theories surrounding this journal entry. The first theory is that McCandless had eaten rotten or moldy potato seeds he had packed with him from South Dakota with plans of starting a garden. This theory was later proven false after concluding that he would have had to of eaten pounds upon pounds of seeds to die of this, which he did not have enough room in his pack to store pounds of seeds. The second theory is more plausible and that is that he mistakenly ate seeds from a sweet pea (pg.191) plant, which was poisonous, thinking it was a wild potato plant. Both plants look so similar that even expert botanists have a hard differentiating the two. However, it is known that McCandless had already read Tanaina Plantlore which informed him of this and would not have easily mistaken the two. This leads to the last theory, McCandless was certainly capable of differentiating the two plants especially since he had recorded in his journal that he had successfully eaten a wild potato root weeks prior. The theory says that while McCandless did eat the correct plant seed, what he did not know was that there was an allotted time for when it was still edible. As the months grow colder the plant creates a poisonous casing around itself to ward off animals and this combined with the not-so-clean conditions in which he stored the pounds of seeds he had, it lead to a deadly food. Moreover, after eating the now poisonous potato seed in mid-July McCandless grew weaker and weaker. He was already so terribly thin and the poison in his body could not be so easily ridden if he did not have enough fat and glucose to do it. Many speculate that if he had a map that even in his weak state, he could have walked three hours to a group of cabins that had food and supplies for him to save himself. Unfortunately, even if McCandless did reach them, he would only find a wreck since three of the cabins had been broken into and trashed in July. One cabin (pg. 196) even had the mattresses thrown outside. At last, McCandless has hunted and foraged what he could until his body gave out even more. On August 12 he wrote an S.O.S while he went out for berries. He also took one last picture with the same note, smiling and serene as if he had expected for what was to come. Then he went into the cabin and slept in the sleeping bag his mother sewed for him, and perish soon after.

Analysis: What is seen throughout this chapter is many possible reasons for McCandless's death and throughout it, what was also proven was that he was not just some incompetent person out in the wild. This is evident with the theory that he ate the wrong type of plant. For months prior we see hints of McCandless wanting to learn to forage and taking it very seriously. Therefore he would not have made such a careless decision and would have for sure written about it in his journal. Now, the repeated statement that a map could have saved his life in a variety of ways is in a way presented with doubt in this chapter as well. The cabins are often repeated but now knowing that they were trashed weeks prior leaving none to save McCandless, further prove his imminent death. Lastly, the picture that he took of him smiling makes me think he had accepted what was coming. Some part of me takes comfort in knowing that in this such late and tragic stage, McCandless was calm and maybe was experiencing that euphoric sensation other starvation victims mentioned. I take comfort in knowing he might have died with acceptance and peace.

#Lastpicture #GodBlessAll #Moldyseeds

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A map that could have been McCandless's salvation..

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Summary: Jon Krakauer and three others, Roman Dial, Andrew Liske, and Dan Solie all followed the same trail McCandless did in other to get a sense of his last days. Upon reaching the same river that impeded McCandless's trip from continuing the men had something that McCandless did not, a topographic map (pg. 173) that showed them several solutions to their river problem. These solutions include a part of the river that was more shallow, a few cabins close by for shelter, and lastly a cable (pg.175) car that could have aided him in crossing. This cable car used to be used by scientists but after being abandoned, hunters used it and always put it on the side of the bus to prevent others from reaching it. This means that if McCandless had walked a little further he could have found it conveniently on his side of the river and cross. That is exactly what Krakauer and his crew did and soon enough they reached the bus 142 site with only minor incidents. Upon arriving at the site they found several bones and other remains like porcupine quills, all showing how McCandless lived off the wild. They also spotted the skull of the moose McCandless succeeded in killing although many hunters called him incompetent for it. In more detail, many Alaskans, especially hunters, looked at the same moose remains McCandless left and were sure that he has mistakenly killed a caribou (pg. 177) thinking it was a moose. Even Krakauer believed this and wrote about it in his article; continuing to promote the idea that McCandless was naive and unprepared if he could not even differentiate a moose from a caribou. To everyone's surprise, however, it was soon revealed that it was truly a moose, McCandless was right. Moreover, inside the bus, Krakauer found what was left of McCandless's supplies including the crown from his tooth. The most apparent things left behind were his writings on the wall. It was like a tradition that many travelers before him had written on the bus walls but McCandless always wrote something lengthy and included quotes revealing what was on his mind. Furthermore, Krakauer could see it was evident that McCandless and his adventures were similar to that of other young adolescents who go out to see adventure even if it means living side by side with danger (pg. 182). Many even wanted to compare him to previous figures in history who were so arrogant about their ability to survive in the wild, it cost them their life. Although this could have some sense of truth, McCandless never thought he could beat the wild but live with it and become a part of it. After talking with one of his companions, Roman Dial, about his adventures in the Alaskan country as a young man Krakauer realized something big. Roman said he felt like he identified with McCandless and this also may apply to those who criticized McCandless. The reason they have so much to say about him is that he reminds (pg. 186) so much of their wild and dangerous dreams.

Analysis: While Krakauer explains his whole trip to the bus there is this feeling of pity and irony when he explains it. Pity for McCandless who if he had just walked a little farther down or up the river he could have found shelter or a way to cross the river danger-free. There is also irony because if McCandless wasn't so set on going out without a map, he could have easily lived. Overall, a map could have been his biggest asset if he wasn't so set on truly living out and bearing all that the wilderness had in store. Furthermore, it is peculiar to see how many often compared McCandless to past figures with arrogant and tragic endings. McCandless, in retrospect clearly had more prepared than others did even if he did still hold some naivete. Lastly, when Krakauer says that he believes McCandless's story reminds his critics of their past wild selves it seems he is also talking about himself. Maybe that is why he has been able to tell McCandless's story in such great detail.

#Ifonly #NotACaribou #Young&Wild

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Triumphant at last after weeks of living in the wild...

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Summary: Early April 1992 McCandless finally set out for his trip to Alaska and in just six days he made it from South Dakota through Canada and to Alaska. Upon arriving in Yukon territory, he had trouble catching another ride until two days later a man named Gaylord Stuckey gave him a ride since he was on his way to Fairbanks, McCandless's destination. McCandless began to open up to the man as they rode and had a candid (pg. 159) description of what he was gonna do in Alaska. He informed Stuckey that he was going to live in the wild with no communication civilization. Finally, Stuckey dropped McCandless off at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks where he wanted to get extra books on edible wild plants, send two last postcards to Westerberg as well as Burres, and then buy a gun for hunting. Stuckey actually came to look for him while he waited to return to his home but McCandless was so determined to be in the wild, he found he was already gone (pg. 160). At this point, McCandless had hitched a ride with Gallien and soon enough he was in the wilderness of Alaska. The land was still icy and this made it easier for McCandless to cross a stream that would soon turn into a roaring river in the summer. At last, he was alone (pg. 162) for almost three months. He had found the famous 142 bus and began hunting for food. His most defining moment during this was when he succeeded in hunting a moose, however, because he did not know how to properly preserve all of it, it mostly went to waste. McCandless felt really guilty about killing such a big living thing and not even using every bit of it. However, soon enough he bounced back and hunted more and more. He often wrote about his delight of having independence (pg. 163) out in the wild. Finally, McCandless was ready to return to civilization after three months and prepared himself for the trip. Unfortunately, nature had other plans as McCandless hit reality (pg. 164) and found that the shallow stream he once crossed in April was now a dangerous roaring river that was almost impossible to cross without testing death. Defeated, he decided to stay and set camp in bus 142 until he could find another solution.

Analysis: McCandless clearly had many successes during his initial time in the wild with some minor incidents here and there. As a reader, during this chapter, it seems one is just waiting for the ball to drop because we know how it all ends. The description of his many successful hunts and times hiking around create this bright image of McCandless in the wild. So much so, that as a reader I almost forgot I knew what the morbid ending was. Moreover, as a reader as well we are given more information than McCandless ever had such as that there were cabins ridiculously close to him where could have had better shelter and more supplies as well as that the river had fewer dangerous channels if he just went looking for them. Overall, this being said maybe in the midst of his excitement and confidence McCandless refused a map when he really should have taken one. Lastly, this same confidence is also what convinces him to stay a little longer and assures him he can survive when in reality has not survived in the conditions that are soon to come. He was setting himself up for doom instead of trying to find a better way out.

#Huntersguilt #Nowayback #Mapneeded

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Krakauer shares some of the same past and intensity as McCandless..

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Summary: We continue with John Krakauer who was disappointed that because of an obstacle during his climb up the Devil's thumb, he had to come back down. For three days he waited in his tent while he came up with a better plan and for the weather to improve. At some point, he decided to smoke a joint and cook some food which backfired when the match he used for his portable stove burned away some of his tent's inner lining. Krakauer felt defeated and then thought back to his father from whom he borrowed the tent. John's father was very similar to Walt McCandless in the fact that both had very high expectations (pg. 147) for their kids. Lewis Krakauer wanted his kids to excel in school, extracurricular activities, and one day attend Harvard Medical School. John however had other plans, he instead went to a less known college and became obsessed to the wonders of rock climbing. John felt oppressed (pg. 148) by his father's goals for him and then enraged when he discovered a secret, his father was not so perfect after all. It took John years to finally quell his anger and by this time his father had become a drug addict and was in a psychiatric hospital. Now that his father's behavior (pg. 149) had changed so drastically, John was able to reflect on what he taught him. His father taught him not to give up and even though he had no ambition (pg. 150) for Harvard, he did for climbing. John believes this was the same ambition that push him to try again at the Devil's Thumb even though he felt more mentally broken than ever. He was close once again to reach the top when a storm broke and slowly he had to endure the weather since he had no means of reaching his camp. The next few days he approached the mountain in a different direction and finally reached the top. The months that followed his victory he realized that all his problems could not be solved by climbing mountains and attributes this to the differences between him and McCandless. However, one thing he believes they both share is their young and naive belief that death is nowhere near them and love the agitation (pg. 155) and thrill of being close to danger but have no interest in embracing it fully.

Analysis: John and Chris do share many similarities including the goals and expectations of their fathers. However, John was lucky enough to continue his relationship with his father way past his early twenties and it gave time for that intensity and anger in his soul to ebb. I like to think that if the circumstances were different, Chris would eventually reach the same sentiment albeit even if it took him decades to. Additionally, there is a great realization that may have fed John's reasoning to slowly forgive his father and this is that he still has that ambition to excel just not in the way his father imagined. Maybe McCandless was the same considering he shared many other qualities with his father such as his intellectual talent. John often mentions that sense of loneliness when climbing the Devil's Thumb, and the fact that he only mentions it a few times shows that it is something subconscious but just as influential to him nonetheless. One very important and thought-provoking thing from this chapter especially is when John says that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams. This could be applied literally and metaphorically since often mountains are more dangerous than wonderful and yet people still use them to represent a goal. To me, this means that one goal or challenge is just that, one goal, meaning life does not change much after it because there is bound to be more in the future.

#Notaccordingtoplan #Young&Unafraid #Worththeclimhe

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Gotta be mentally and physically strong for a climb like this...

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Summary: John Krakauer was much like Chris McCandless in his early twenties, adventurous, and yearning to be out in the wilderness. Many people assumed, McCandless like Krakauer, that they had a death wish and even considered McCandless's end a purposeful act of suicide (pg. 134). Moreover, Krakauer also had family troubles, with his father expecting the best of his children but Krakauer often disappointed him with his own plans. At twenty-three, Krakauer decided to quiet his minimum wage job and set out for Alaska where he had this hunger (134) for of climbing the Devil's Thumb victoriously. Upon arriving in Alaska began to catch rides through workboats to arrive to Petersberg, the closest town to the Devil's thumb. In Petersberg, he stayed with a woman name Kai and here is where he was reminded of what he gave for his dream like the company (pg. 137) of others. Soon enough Krakauer left for his climb and decided to get closer to the mountain through skiing and because of the raised danger of going alone, all of his senses became amplified (pg. 138) for any dangers ahead. Krakauer finally got to the spot he needed to be while he waited for a helicopter to come with the extra food he had payed to be flown to him. His patience and sanity began to grow thin the longer the helicopter took to come but soon it did and then with his extra supplies he ascended towards the thumb. The entire climb just to get close to the mountain was brutal and soon his whole body became numb as he kept climbing. At one point it was obvious he had to stop because his pick axes would only hold onto to frozen water that was five inches thick and this was not good. Although he was a bit afraid (pg. 139) he had to admit that from here it was possible he had to go back down.

Analysis: There is a lot of crazy similarities between Krakauer and McCandless with the most obvious being their hunger for adventure and danger. However, unlike McCandless, Krakauer seems to have been able to channel it into one sole thing which appears to have reigned in some of his spontaneity and allows him to focus on a set goal. One very interesting point from this chapter is when Krakauer began to cry when the helicopter finally dropped off his boxes of food. For a moment it appeared as if he was tempted to just leave everything and quit which shows how even just beginning the journey to the thumb is torture in itself. Also, one significant difference between McCandless and Krakauer is that the latter seems to be able to admit when he afraid or doubting himself whereas the other rarely does.

#Alonewithmythoughts #Resilienceneeded #Onlywayisdown

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Carine, Chris's sister always there for him even in death...

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Summary: Chris's younger sister Carine was like him in many ways. Carine and Chris's similarities (pg. 129) were mostly physical starting with their eyes and height. In two pictures she showed others, one could see how personality-wise, Carine had a bright face while Chris had an expression (pg. 128) of intensity and annoyance. She had high energy like him and shared many of the same views. However, Carine made the effort to forgive their parents and never quite detested wealth as he did. She was also extremely gregarious (129) which was very much unlike Chris's love for the lone life. She remembers how much Chris loved her dog Buckley, so much so that he even wanted to take him on his trip. Alas, their parents said no and to this day Carine wonders if he would have taken different chances (pg. 128) knowing he had another life to watch over. Moreover, Carine recalls how she discovered her brother's passing through her husband who was informed by her half-brother Sam. Carine went completely hysterical and only mustered enough strength to visit her parents and then head off to Alaska. After confirming the body was Chris through dental records, Carine and her husband Chris Fish retrieved her brother's ashes in Alaska. Over the next few months, Carine and Billie were in so much grief they lost weight while Walt gained weight out of mourning. Billie was completely torn and baffled, she could not understand (pg. 132) why her son would accept such dire circumstances.

Analysis: There is a sense of bittersweetness in knowing just how similar Carine and Chris were. It's almost as if the differences they did have with each other, only benefitted their relationship even more. This is especially evident when it was stated that Carine was the one who picked up his ashes from Alaska. She was the only one who continuously trusted and it seems only fair she was there for him. Moreover, regarding Chris taking Buckley, I think he would not have so easily of left his car stuck, gone days without eating, and gone to Alaska in the middle of winter if Buck was with him. Maybe Buckley would remind Chris of his family and this could have repaired his relationship with his family as well.

#Liketwins #Craycray4Buckley #30yrswithoutu

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McCandless wrote for Emory's student newspaper and continued to build up his anger towards his parents.

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Summary: When Chris McCandless graduated high school, he gifted his dad an expensive telescope and cried talking about the hardships his father went through. Soon after, McCandless left for a solo trip before college in the fall. He explored most of the western United States and only came back two days before college was in session. His father tried to give guidance to Chris after discovering he almost perished out in the Mojave desert. However, Chris always ignored his advice. Moreover, Chris began college in the fall and despite his odd first appearance he made the dean's list. McCandless became focused on college and even worked for the school newspaper, The Emory Wheel. He even worked for his parents' company after his first year and between sophomore as well as junior years, he worked at Domino's. Over time, Chris began to rarely talk to his parents while at college. He seemed bothered by them and withdrawn (pg. 121). The root of all this was his discovery of his father's double life one summer when he went back to his childhood home in California; where his old neighbors told him everything. Apparently, Walt McCandless continued to see his first wife and had another son with her even after getting together with Billie and having their two children. He had completely lied to both families and things only got better after he moved with Billie to Virginia after his deception (pg. 121) was discovered. Chris believed his father to be a hypocrite but never really told his parents of his dislike towards them. McCandless felt that his father went totally against his high moral (pg. 122) code and it changed his world view too. He became involved in politics and world justice. Chris was determined to maintain distance (pg. 124), emotionally and physically, from his family. At one point they tried to reach out again and try to guess at a reason for his distance but this enraged him more. Right after graduating from Emory College, Chris acted like all was fine and his family guessed he would see them before his next solo trip. McCandless did not, he didn't even contact Carine since their parents might track him through her. At last, two years after he left his mother woke up one July night in 1992 feeling as though he was calling her for help (126).

Analysis: There is some sense that because of the way Chris was raised, he values doing his best and acting the best. It appears that most of this came from his father and when he realized that he had been lied to for all his life, he starts to see that in a way he is better than his father. His moral code, as said before, is very high and by pointing out this flaw in a person he looked up to, he feels he now only has himself to trust. Moreover, there is a what-if question in this chapter that seems nearly unlikely considering Chris's personality but, what if he had informed his parents of his discovery? In this scenario, it seems more likely that if he did tell them, he would refuse to hear their reasoning. Chris trusts himself too much to allow himself to be persuaded when he has already made up his mind, as seen many times before. Lastly, it is a little disheartening to know that he also did not bother to contact his sister but her understanding of why he didn't is still solid proof of their closeness. Even after he had passed she understood his decisions, through and through.

#Twolives #Falsechildhood #Deception

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Chris and his younger sister Carine always so close..

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Summary: Chris McCandless's father grew up in a low-income household and worked multiple jobs in his teen years to make ends meet. He was very smart and received a scholarship to Colorado State University. He was also musically inclined but when the Soviet Union launched Sputnik I, he decided to work with aircraft. Soon enough he moved up the ranks and at this time was well into his first marriage with five kids. However, over time he separated from his first wife and down the road met Billie, a secretary at Hughes Aircraft where he worked. Together they had Chris and three years later his sister Carine. As Chris began to attend school it was clear that he was intelligent and had that same intensity (pg. 105) in him as his father. Chris however, did not like rules (pg. 110) and did not like being put in accelerated classes. His sister described him as someone who was very social but loved his time alone even more. Chris and Carine were extremely close especially since they were each had in the early years where their parents were always working (pg.107) on their new self-owned business. Like his father, Chris was musically talented and was exceptional at the french horn but quit when Carine got better than him. He was extremely talented in many things but resisted (pg. 111) any guidance and would give up a talent if he was ordered around. Overall, Chris was a high achiever (pg. 114) in anything he did from putting his all into running to helping those who were less fortunate and detested wealth. He even wanted to help fight against racial oppression in South Africa. Much to Walt and Billie's expectations, Chris even had a set plan for after high school, going on a solo trip. Chris always loved being out in the wild ever since he would go hiking up mountains with his father.

Analysis: It seems that both Walt and Chris have a sort of ambition in their souls that never goes away. However, because of the harsh circumstances that Walt grew up in, he is more realistic with his ambitions and knows the consequences. Chris is not like this, he grew up in a generally comfortable and wealthy home so many times he knows the consequences but can not quite grasp them entirely. A very important aspect of Chris's intelligence is that he can entertain himself for hours and loves to be alone, but is outstandingly charismatic when socializing with others. This is something I truly find interesting. Lastly, it is endearing to know that Chris instead of pushing away his sister, knows they are all they have and decides to always confide in her. Especially in one of his last letters to her before going on his last solo trip heading to Alaska.

#Dysfunctionalfamily #Neversatisfied #Brilliantbrain

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Westerberg, one of McCandless's close friends heard the dire news of his friend through a broadcast...

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Summary: News of Chris McCandless's death was written in The New York Times shortly after he was found. However, they stated that even though they found a name they were not sure it was his and therefore his identity was still a mystery. Back in Alaska, a similar newspaper (pg. 99) article had been written before theirs and this was read by Jim Gallien who had given McCandless a ride to his final stop. At first, the Alaskan State Troopers did not believe him but overall with some more details he had given, he convinced them. Soon enough, the troopers began to search in South Dakota since that is where McCandless had told Gallien he was from. For a while, nothing turned up about McCandless in South Dakota until Wayne Westerberg was told to tune into a radio broadcast (pg. 100) by a worker of his who believed they were talking about McCandless. After hearing their description of the young man, Westerberg was sure it was him and contacted the troopers. They too at first did not believe Westerberg because of prior scamming calls but he provided them with McCandless's birth name and social security name as proof. After this, the troopers used the phone book (pg. 101) from Virginia, McCandless's permanent residence, to track any of his family down. His parents had since moved to another state but his half-brother stilled resided in Virginia and was the one given the unfortunate news. Sam McCandless barely knew (pg.102) his younger half-brother but with some photo evidence, he was sure it was him. In the end, he had to take the tough responsibility and tell (pg. 102) his father and his family of McCandless's tragic death.

Analysis: What seems to repeatedly aid McCandless to be identified is a series of events that could have never happened if the wrong thing was done. For instance, a solid lead to find McCandless would not have been found if Gallien had not decided to read his local newspaper. Another eery possibility was what if McCandless had decided to not fill out his second W-4 form with his true identity. They would have to keep on looking and might not have believed Westerberg at all. Moreover, it is a bit sad to know they his half-brother would have to be the one to deliver the news to Chris's family. It seems like a difficult experience to have to go through especially since he did not know his half-brother well and had to give such intimate news about him.

#Coincidence #OldSchool #Mysterysolved

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Everett Ruess a traveler with a wandering soul just like McCandless...

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Summary: Everett Ruess was a young 1930s man from California who loved exploring and living within the wilderness. Many deem his story to be close to McCandless's and his personality as well. One of his first solo trips was when he was 16 and explored the wild during the summer. After graduating high school, he set out on his adventure once more. He, however, did settle for some time too and even attended UCLA but he was a wanderer (pg. 91) who could not be tamed. Ruess set back on his journey and often wrote letters (pg. 91) to his family. He would write about how excited and overwhelmed (pg. 91) he was about living each day out and about. Ruess would write in detail about the fields, cliffs, settlements, and backcountry he crossed. Ruess and McCandless were similar in so many ways. An example is their deep desire (pg. 97) to experience a euphoric feeling out in the wilderness and they could not get enough of it. They also both changed their name (pg. 93) but unlike McCandless, Ruess constantly changed it, from Lan Rameau to Evert Rulan. Another major similarity is their fatal end in the wilderness. Ruess was thought to have perished near Davis Gulch, the last place he was ever seen before disappearing. So much mystery surrounds Ruess's death much like McCandless's. Some think he drowned, others say he was murdered, and there is even speculation that he lived a secret life. Overall, the only proof of Ruess's existence near the Gulch is the carving he made on a stone of "NEMO 1934), apparently the name he had now gone by. Lastly, this is an interesting pattern as speculated by Ken Sleight a fellow wilderness adventurist. He says McCandless and Ruess are much like a group of Irish Monks who were drawn to adventure and danger just as much as the two young men.

Analysis: It seems that Ruess really was like McCandless and had a desire that could never be met. They both have an infatuation with the wilderness where they believe they'll at some point reach a glorious moment that will make everything better. That is why even when they experience serious and dangerous hardship like almost drowning at sea or almost falling off a cliff, they don't care. They truly believe they will reach their glorious goal so the mishaps don't bring them down. Their deaths or disappearances seem like a repeating warning from maybe mother nature herself about the wilderness. It seems to say that much like anything, too much of the wilderness is dangerous. Lastly, they often describe in their letters the wilderness as some godlike and they are lucky enough to experience it like some god themselves. They often want to be left alone because of this but there is some irony in the sense that they still come in touch with civilization every now and then. It shows their nature as humans and even just the letters are proof of that.

#Awayfromcivilization #Foreveramystery #Wanderingsoul

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Mt. McKinley or Denali as Waterman called it as he climbed it to the very top...

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Summary: After the remains of McCandless were found and Krakauer published his articles, many local Alaskans began to criticize McCandless's decisions. Many thought he was mentally disturbed and very unprepared for the trip to Alaska. They all described McCandless as someone they had come across before, a sort of stereotype (p.85) of sad and delusional boys who believed this fantasy (p.83) they could make it in the Alaskan wilderness. One of these men with idealistic (p.72) views of the wild was a Vietnam veteran named Gene Rosellini, a once-wealthy man who wanted to experiment with whether human beings could still live like in the Stone Age. After spending more than a decade in the Alaskan and being named Mayor of Hippie Cove, he concluded his experiment a failure. He then decided to travel the world but days later was found dead from a self-inflicted injury to the heart. Another man was John Mallon Waterman, an expert climber or mountaineer. He experienced much great loss throughout his life including the disappearance of his brother but he kept climbing and even became a hero for Fairbanks Climbers by climbing Mt. Hunter. However, over the years he began to lose his mind and was very self-critical (p.78) over everything he did. His last climb was on the south face of Denali which he did for his wild campaign is running for U.S. president. Waterman was not cautious and even abandoned a radio, his only form of communication. Later it is thought that he had perished after falling through a snow bridge. Moreover, the third man is Carl McCunn a Texan who had a detailed plan about going into the Alaskan wilderness. He had scheduled a bush pilot to drop him off at a lake near the Coleen river but he forgot to schedule a pick-up at the end of his summer trip. He had brought plenty of provisions for those specific months but they ran out the longer he stayed. Once he was close to salvation a plan reached his camp but he mistakenly waved the signal for "all ok" instead of S.O.S. and the plane never returned. Over the weeks he began to assume (p.78) that someone would come looking for him but at last, this fantasy was just that, and as he began to starve and freeze he shot himself to escape the winter. Overall, all these men had a similarity of underestimating the Alaskan wild and this is only one of the things Alex has in common with this stereotype. Alex was not insane and he survived more than most of them.

Analysis: Compared to the three particular men, it seems Alex had done some things right where they did not. However, one thing that is noticeable among them all, including Alex, is that they keep reaching and reaching for this Alaskan fantasy that they become a bit lost when they realize it does not exist. This is especially noticeable with Waterman and Rosellini who quite literally became insane when their goals were not met. They were just not realistic enough and had hope for what was not there. Moreover, at least Alex had some sense of reality in him such as knowing he could run out of food and learn to forage but even this was not enough.

#Fantasyland #Overestimated #Unrealistic

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Alex with Westerbeg and his crew having a seemingly good time...

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Summary: Soon after Alex arrived back in Carthage, he made it clear to Westerberg and his crew that he would only be staying until April, and then he was off to Alaska. Westerberg described Alex as someone who was very intelligent but would miss the small details. He especially noticed this when he came across an incident where Alex had cooked chicken in the microwave but did not realize he had to take out the grease from the bottom. Moreover, despite Alex's great charisma and wishes of settling down, Westerberg's girlfriend, Borah, noticed he was never involved romantically or sexually with anyone. According to his younger sister, Borah was one of the only women he ever danced with. It seems that Alex had this yearning (p. 66) so strong for traveling in nature, he preferred to remain celibate (p.65) and not be distracted. Borah also recalls how despite getting along well with everyone, Alex always had deep conversations with her and liked baring (p,63) his thoughts and feelings to her. Furthermore, Borah and Westerberg noticed how broken Alex's relationship was with his parents. He adored his younger sister Carine, but his parents and their relationship problems pushed him to be through (p. 64) with them. He wanted to cut them out entirely from his life. Furthermore, Alex had begun to see Westerberg and Carthage as his surrogate family and even met Westerberg's mother. The two got along very well and talked for hours the first time they met. Alex had created such a big impact on her that she remained bothered (p.67) and sad by the news of his death. After gathering exactly $1,000, Alex set out on his trip to Alaska. Over the next few weeks, he sent out a final letter to Westerberg hinting at the possibility of him dying in the Alaskan frontier. He also sent a similar message to Jan Burres.

Analysis: Overall, it seems that Alex has immensely big plans for himself and has idealized his trip to Alaska a lot. This is so clear especially when it is learned that he is celibate by choice despite clearly being liked by many women. It seems that Alex only sees romantic relationships and sex as a distraction at this point in his life. He does want a family and kids, but only after he has completed his Alaskan Odyssey. Moreover, because of his dream trip Alex always has it in his mind and often misses out on small details in his everyday life. Also, Alex is such a charismatic person even those who have had just a brief encounter with him are greatly impacted by his death, like Westerberg's mother. Lastly, the last two letters he sends to Burres and Westerberg are interesting, especially because it seems the more and more time Alex spends in Alaska, the more he is convinced he might die there.

#LastGoodbye #BackByFall #DisfunctionaFam

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Ron Franz who loved Alex so much he wanted to adopt him....

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Summary: Soon after Alex bid farewell to Jan Burres he traveled to Palm Springs where he met Ron Franz an elderly 81-year-old man who gave Alex a ride back to the area where Alex had set up camp for some time. Ron had taken a liking to Alex even though he felt like he was on the wrong path. Over time, Ron and Alex grew close and spent lots of time together. Ron felt like he had a paternal (p.50) role towards Alex but the young man always kept his distance. After their initial meeting, Alex headed to San Diego and then Seattle but returned to Ron's hometown, Salton City, after asking him for a ride upon returning to California. Day by day, Ron felt a strong bond towards Alex and even wanted to adopt (p.55) him as he had done in the past with many young people without a path. Ron felt like Alex was a form of sunshine (p.54) in his life and that he brought him joy and very much needed company. Alex, however, was still set on his final goal, his Alaskan Odyssey (p.56) filled with uncertainties and thrills. Before his final parting with Ron, Alex even gave Ron advice to sell his home and belongings and live an adventurous life like him. At last, Alex left wanting to avoid forming a close connection to Ron and worked with Westerberg for a few months to build funds for his trip to Alaska. While with Westerberg in South Dakota, Alex wrote to Ron giving him the same life advice as before, and this time Ron took it. Soon enough, Ron was living near the campsite Alex set up upon first arriving near Salton City and lived his life with some of the adventure Alex mentioned. A few months later, Ron recieved the news that Alex had perished in Alaska from two hitch hikers that read the Outsider magazine. Ron was so devasted, he renounced God for letting Alex die in such circumstances, became an atheist (p.60) from so much anger, and started to drink away the grief.

Analysis: Overall, this was a bittersweet relationship that Alex had. Ron clearly did not expect to feel such a deep connection to Alex upon meeting him. Several moments throughout the chapter you can clearly see him trying to be a paternal figure towards him like offering money, rides to Alex's next stops, and even suggesting Alex take his family name. Over the last few chapters, there is this repeated scenario in which Alex meets someone, forms a close connection, see the connection getting stronger, and so he leaves. It has been very clear that Alex does not want emotional relationships because he sees it as asking for too much help or not as spontaneous as he wishes his trip to be. This is one of those relationships where I wish he was not so rash and upfront because even though Alex puts Ron through so many things, Ron still believes in Alex. Finally, when Alex gave Ron advice to live a wild and adventurous life like him, it felt like a hit or miss because of how often the elderly are treated by the public. Meaning, Ron could go on this crazy trip but under much different circumstances than Alex.
#Noattachment #Adopted #Alaskanodyssey

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Alex reconnects with Jan and flakes once again..

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Summary: After departing from Las Vegas, Alex no longer has a camera to record photos and then decides to stop journaling his adventures as well. However, we learn of his next stop from a letter he sends to Jan Burres and it is discovered that he is in Arizona. Something rather surprising that occurs in Alex's life in Arizona is that he begins to live a conventional (p. 39) life. For instance, he got a job at a Mcdonald's, used his birth name, and even opened a savings account at a bank. It seemed like Alex was ready to settle until he quit his job two months in. The few coworkers that remembered him commented on his ability to be dependable (p. 40) although he was very slow-paced when he needed to be faster. After being told several times to maintain proper hygiene, Alex left feeling tired (p. 43) of constantly being told what to do. During this time he was still in contact with Jan Burres and spent a few weeks with her and her partner Bob. Jan often commented on how much Alex loved socializing (p. 44) with just about anybody when at their local flea market. Ironically, however, Alex never revealed anything about his past except that he was from the Washington D.C. area. Once Jan began to prod more about his life, Alex started his journey to Alaska again and Jan thought he could figure (p. 46) it out after surviving so many challenges before.

Analysis: Alex seems like a person who greatly despised confrontation and has very deep social connections. It is as if his entire soul has been encaptured by the meaning of the word "wild". Once he feels like someone is trying to control him, he flees onto the next place. I honestly find it a bit disappointing because he could have progressed immensely on his journey if he set a bit of his pride aside and let others help him a bit. At this point in his journey, Alex seems to be the most unpredictable and it might be because of how much his previous hardships influenced him. He stays in Arizona for longer and this may be because he is afraid of continuing especially after drowning in the sea or he needs an entire break to let all of the reality set in. He is a little unsure of what to do and that is why he tries several things before finding his ultimate goal again, Alaska.

#NoConflict #He'llFigureitout #NoProdding

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McCandless's once beloved car, now abandoned..

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Summary: We are taken back in time to three months after Alex takes his initial trip to the road in 1990. In October of 1990, Alex has arrived near Lake Mead and decides to veer off the road, break some rules, and eventually gets his car stuck in Detrital Wash. Alex's yellow Datsun is something he holds dear but he is so impatient to be out and experience nature's reality (p. 25), that he leaves it with a note. A few days later parker rangers find his car and over time turn it into an undercover car for dug busts, an ironic twist considering Alex dislikes the law. Now hitchhiking, Alex is exhilarated (p. 29) by this new turn of events and arrives in Northern California where he gets a job that he soon realizes promises no pay. Then he is off on the road again, stays with a couple in Orick Beach but leaves once again. After this Alex receives a hitchhiking fine which he mistakenly directs to his parents and address and they begin looking for him with this newfound clue. However, Alex is hard to find as he continues North into Idaho where he first meets Wayne Westerberg and continues to Colorado. Alex continues down south wildhearted (p.31) as ever and impulsively buys a metal boat. He rows this canoe and eventually crosses the Mexican border. He rows from the Morelos Dam to El Golfo de Santa Clara in search of the Gulf of California. Through his adventures, he continues to get lost even though he is helped by locals. Finally, he finds the sea where he is met with chaos and waves, and finally decides to leave his boat. At last, Alex managed to cross the border back into the U.S. and hitched (p. 37) a ride with a German couple in California after attempting to get an ID and job in Los Angeles. Alex then makes it to Las Vegas where he works for a few months from February to May until he decides he needs to go on the road again.

Analysis: This entire chapter is major evidence for Alex's sense of spontaneity and albeit moments of stupidity. He has crossed many challenges from losing his car to almost drowning in the ocean and yet he continues. At the end of the chapter, he reflects on how different he is now compared to the start of his journey but does not care which leaves me dumbfounded. He even states that he wants to continue for the time to come and he does until his final days. One thing that I find endearing is that he does not seem overly cocky to the people that help him along the way and even stays in contact with some of the people. For instance, he still wrote to Jan in Orick for two years and kept sending letters to Wayne. This shows even though he has a wild heart, he still has moments where he is grounded or connected to something. Moreover, I find it ironic that Alex is something who is against the government and law but some part of him, his car, has helped so much in fighting crime.

#Nomoney #Crimefightingcar #Realitysetsin

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McCandless with Wayne Westerberg whom he was closely bonded to...

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Summary: Wayne Westerberg is a resident of Carthage, South Dakota, and a driver that once gave Alex a ride and then formed a close bond (p.19)with him. After picking up Alex through hitchhiking, he soon offered him a place to stay during a rainstorm and offered a helping hand if he ever needed one. Soon enough, Alex returned to Carthage and began to work for Westerberg at the grain elevator he owned. Westerberg described Alex as a social, ethical (p.18), intelligent, and hard-working young man that did whatever was asked of him. He often told stories to the other workers, who he considered his surrogate (p.18) family, of his adventures and moments of escape (p.15) out on the road. After Alex left a second time, a series of complications led to Westerberg being arrested for illegal activity, and when Alex returned for work he soon left when he realized Westerbeg was not there to offer him a job. Moreover, during the weeks before Alex initially started his trip, his family had come to his university in Atlanta to watch him, graduate. During these days his family realized how peculiar he acted from giving his mother a mother's day gift, which he seldom did, to announcing he would be going on a road trip and they told him to say goodbye before leaving. Lastly, the summer Chris graduated his family visited him once more when he no longer contacted them, only to discover he had left Atlanta weeks before. Chris has left for his trip feeling emancipated (p.22) and ready for his new life, with no goodbyes to anyone.

Analysis: I find it endearing to know that Alex was a very sociable and hard-working person. I could tell that he made large efforts to distance himself from his old lifestyle even by just changing his name. I wonder if the circumstances would have been different if Westerberg had not been arrested and Chris had stayed to work in South Dakota for a little longer. I would like to think that at least would have delayed his demise. In terms of his family, I understand that he felt he needed to experience reality and be free from his sheltered life. However, it seems that he went so much so that he even distanced himself immensely from his family. This is evident with the fact that he did not even say goodbye to his family or especially his sister who he was very close to. Lastly, there is a bit of eery irony in knowing that he donated the rest of his college funds to fight hunger but in the end, he met his demise because of hunger.

#SecondFamily #Estranged #NoGoodbyes

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Chris's last home and last stop on his journery...

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Summary: Two Alaskans are on their way through the wilderness and through the Stampede trail. They describe their hard and difficult path in desolation (p. 9) to the infamous bus 142 in early September 1992. As they finally arrive at the bus with plans of hunting moose in an omitted (p. 11) part of the territory, they find a disturbing Alaskan couple who notify them of a foul smell coming from the bus. Here is where they find a deceased Chris/Alex McCandless in the process of decay (p. 9) and his ill-forsaken S.O.S. note from August. After another hunting finds them, they make the efforts to notify authorities of Chris's body that was found in his sleeping bag. In the end, after recovering his body and his personal items they concluded he must have died of starvation (p. 14). However, despite knowing his name and face from rolls of film, his identification (p. 14) of who he was and what led him to Alaska in his final days is but a mystery to them.

Analysis: I find it interesting how the beginning of the chapter was set up by describing the two Alaskans going on an adventure to the Alaskan wilderness. It almost has the same feeling of excitement that Chris had when first entering the wilderness as well. When they found the note and learned a little about Chris's situation, I found it sad to know that if they had come a little sooner, Chris could have been rescued. I imagine that in his final moments, Chris must have not had much strength and just went to his sleeping bag for warmth hoping he would be lucky enough to wake up after.

#Lastmoments  #Howdidwegethere #Bus142

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The road leading Alex to his last months...

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Summary: This story is based on the true happenings of young Christoper McCandless who went on an adventure across the country from 1990-1992. In this first chapter, we meet Chris, now called Alex, as he begins his journey to the wilderness of Alaska. Alex is very excited (p. 6) and determined when he meets Jim Gallien after hitchhiking his way to the wilderness of the Alaskan frontier. Mr. Gallien often comments on how unprepared Alex seems and how he only packed a very minimal (p. 5) set of gear and only carries rice as his food. He constantly attempts to dissuade Alex from going into the wild or at least convince to gather more materials before entering. Alas, Alex's foolhardy (p. 6) behavior and beliefs have convinced him he will be fine in the crude and icy (p. 6) landscape. At last, Mr. Gallien drops him off still uneasy since nobody (p. 6) knows where Alex is going; he even considers telling park troops but instead leaves Alex in the wild, alone.

Analysis: Overall, I admire Alex's determination for going into the wilderness all alone. However, I do feel like his excitement and dreams about Alaska are clouding his judgment. He should have packed more gear and most importantly food, with him especially since it is snow-packed during the time he set out on his adventure. Also, there is a bit of eerieness in knowing that Mr. Gallien tried several times to stop him but Alex kept set on his path. He knew the dangers and even admitted to the possibility of death, but still wen ton. I think it would have been better if Mr. Gallien had alerted the state park authorities about Alex before leaving.
#Intoanewadventure #Unprepared #Intotheunknown

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A picture of three of my siblings and I hiking earlier this spring.

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I have a love-hate relationship with nature and the wilderness. As a child, I was almost always indoors and cherished the times I was able to go camping, hiking, and bike riding across mountains.

As I grew older I began to dislike it and always had to point something out that was negative about it. I think it was the adolescent rebellion in me wanting to fit it in. Now, even though I am still an adolescent I have reflected a lot on my decisions and now I have begun to cherish nature more. This love began to grow specifically because of my older sister who loves to hike. I did my first hike with her when I was around 12 years old and just started to do them with her again.

My hikes are all in California but that does not mean I am necessarily bored of the places we go. Being out in the open air has become a haven for me and has made me come to realize that there are so many benefits to being outside. When I saw it as a haven I realized that the wilderness acts as a stress reliever from the outside world. On a more obvious level, it helps to keep me healthy and in shape after walking or running for miles. When I go into the wild with others, I get to focus solely on them so, in a way, the wild makes my social connections better. Moreover, I usually am in the wilderness with my family and will always love the moments I get to experience out there with them.