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Find the video on YouTube and watch it then read the article. What are your thoughts on what she says?

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Does the question "where are you from?" leave you struggling for an answer? Have you consciously come up with a pithy reply that suffices for small talk but leaves you feeling dissatisfied? Does the question feel reductive and the answer fail to capture the nuances of your experience? Whether you're an immigrant, a nomad, a third culture kid, or a cosmopolitan at home on the internet, having to answer where one is from can be a loaded experience for many.

Writer Taiye Selasi's exquisite speech from TEDGlobal 2014 is now online, and provides some fascinating perspectives that might come to your rescue.

"What are we really seeking, though, when we ask where someone comes from? And what are we really seeing when we hear an answer?" enquires Selasi, who is tired of being referred to as "multinational."

Countries, she says, represent power, and as recent immigrants know all too well, ""Where are you from?" or "Where are you really from?" is often code for "Why are you here?""

"Mexico. Poland. Bangladesh. Less power. America. Germany. Japan. More power. China. Russia. Ambiguous." says Selasi in her talk. "To me, a country -- this thing that could be born, die, expand, contract -- hardly seemed the basis for understanding a human being. History was real, cultures were real, but countries were invented. "

Not to mention, the vocabulary of coming from a particular place traps one into "the privileging of a fiction, the singular country, over reality: human experience" and "the myth of going back".

"We can never go back to a place and find it exactly where we left it," says Selasi. "Something, somewhere will always have changed, most of all, ourselves."

Instead, of asking "Where are you from?" we should be asking, "Where are you a local?" The difference, she says, is in the intention of the question, and shifts our focus to where the heart of human experience occurs.

Selasi proposes a 3-step test to determine where you're a local. She calls them the 3 R's: Rituals, Relationships, and Restrictions. "Take a piece of paper and put those three words on top of three columns, then try to fill those columns as honestly as you can," she says. "A very different picture of your life in local context, of your identity as a set of experiences, may emerge."

In terms of rituals, growing up in snowy, suburban Boston, Selasi incorporated practices her mother brought from London and Lagos. Rituals of the global south such as taking off shoes in the house, being polite to elders, and eating slow-cooked spicy food, she said, had her feeling very at home in Delhi and southern Italy.

"Who are the people who shape your weekly emotional experience?" Selasi asks of your relationships. Which of your relationships are "home" for you? (And yes, FaceTime counts!) For Selasi, this includes her mother in Accra, sister in Boston and best friends in New York.

Restrictions, she admits, are the least sexy of the 3 R's but help take you past "Where are you now?" to answer "Why aren't you there?" It focuses on factors such as the passport you hold, where you are able to live, racism that prevents you from feeling at home where you are, war, dysfunctional governance, economic inflation, etc. that keep you from living in the locality where you may have practiced your rituals as a child.

Such an perspective also reframes our understanding of diversity. A Mexican gardener in L.A. and a Nepali housekeeper in New Delhi have much in common in terms of rituals and restrictions. As do offspring of doctors and bankers in elite colleges hailing from different parts of the world. Are they not, as Selasi eloquently put it, "locals of the same milieu"?

"The more we know about where a story is set, the more local color and texture, the more human the characters start to feel, the more relatable, not less." says Selasi "All of us are multi -- multi-local, multi-layered. To begin our conversations with an acknowledgement of this complexity brings us closer together, I think, not further apart."

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'Where Are You Really From?': This TED Talk Helps You Answer

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Does the question "where are you from?" leave you struggling for an answer? Have you consciously come up with a pithy reply that suffices for small talk but leaves you feeling dissatisfied? Does the question feel reductive and the answer fail to capture the nuances of your experience?

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Gulhan thinks identity is given - do you agree? She compares Turks and Greeks and the control of media on how they perceive each other. In what ways does Korean media control perceptions of Japan?

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How traveling shapes your personality: Gulhan Sen at TEDxFatihUniversity

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Which of the issues would you find difficult dealing with if you were a TCK? Explain your answer.

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As a 'third culture kid,' you live a particularly interesting life growing up abroad in a culture different to that of your parents. This experience is often very difficult to explain to those who haven't been in your situation.

I'm half French and half English, and grew up in Thailand. My father is from Kent, and working in the engineering industry he was assigned to various countries around the world as an expatriate.

My mother is French, although she is of Spanish descent, and I was born in Singapore where Dad was on assignment, before moving to France for a year and then to Thailand where I lived until I finished school. My family still lives there.

Thanks to my upbringing, I find that meeting other international kids - and joining expat networks like InterNations - feels like reuniting with long-lost friends. You realise that you're not alone and that they, too, identify with the following 10 things which I believe are the biggest struggles for a third culture kid:

1. Answering the question "where are you from?"

This is the most nerve-wracking and anxiety-inducing question and usually requires an in-depth explanation of your life story, which is exhausting when your parents are from two different countries, you've grown up in three others, and are currently living in an entirely different one.

The concept of home doesn't mean the same thing, and even filling out your home address on official documents makes you uneasy. Having spent many years outside of your home culture and not quite fitting into your host culture, you end up feeling that you fit in nowhere and everywhere.

2. Explaining your "international" accent

Those who listen to someone's accent in order to figure out where they're from will definitely struggle after meeting a third culture kid. Labelled "international", your accent may well resemble an American one the most, but there's bound to be a twang of another depending on the various countries you've lived in, whom you regularly speak to, and which TV shows you watch.

3. Mixing up your languages

Given that you've lived in a few countries, you probably speak at least two languages fluently and end up mixing them together without noticing. However, that does not necessarily mean you speak much of the language of the countries you've lived in. You will of course know a few greetings and some directions to ask taxi drivers, but you've grown accustomed to living in a country where you can't understand everything that's being said around you. Most people are surprised to hear this, but between attending an international school and having other expats as family friends, for me it is understandable.

4. Planning holidays

Growing up with my immediate family, far from the rest of my relations, Christmas and summer holidays were usually spent together on trips visiting the latter. However, once you're at university or working abroad, these holidays become even more of a struggle to plan. With family spread between two or three countries and friends on almost every continent, when you have a few days off work it is almost impossible to decide what to do and who to see.

5. Long-distance friends and relationships

You get used to people leaving when attending an international school where goodbyes are way too frequent. Once you leave for university, you're moving countries instead of cities, away from childhood friends and family. It's fair to say that third culture kids really know the meaning of friendship, after all; friendships that survive distance mean friends for life, right?

You also end up having a long-distance relationship with family as they are most likely living in another country, and you'll only get to see them once or twice a year; thank goodness for Skype and WhatsApp. At least third culture kids know how to handle a romantic long-distance relationship, but we're probably looking to avoid that.

6. Dealing with ridiculous questions

Growing up abroad, you don't realise that the concept of living in a country other than where your parents are from is actually quite peculiar. You eventually get used to the ridiculous comments and questions from those ignorant of life abroad. Here are some of my favourites: "So you grew up in Thailand, did you ride an elephant to school?", "Do they speak Taiwan in Thailand?", "Your English is really good considering you grew up in Thailand!" Yes, of course it is, I'm British.

7. A constant need to travel

After living abroad and being exposed to the diversity of cultures, people and rich history, it is nearly impossible to not continue travelling. Many find it hard to comprehend those who chose to stay in one place; we just don't understand what it's like to grow up in your home town, continue to live there and never have experienced life somewhere else. Whether you choose to take a gap year, make the most of holidays or work, study or volunteer abroad - any opportunity to explore a new place is an opportunity not to be missed. We crave adventure and all have a serious case of wanderlust.

8. Passports and immigration

Having multiple passports can actually be beneficial, especially for those with dual citizenship in countries that require visas; allowing them to miss those dreadful queues at airport immigration. But the struggle is real when you need to remember which passport you booked your flight with, where it is and what the new visa requirements are to get back home.

* Why business needs our third culture kids

* Expat problems: how to cope with the biggest ones

9. Explaining your lifestyle

When you get asked about a typical day at home, you may be unsure whether you should be honest or make something up that they can relate to. Spending your days at the pool, eating out every weekend, and travelling to new countries may not be the answer they're expecting.

Third third culture kids can be wary of sharing certain things about their life abroad for fear of coming across as a snob.

10. Different currencies and costs of living

Living abroad, the local currency is the money that you become used to spending, and even back home, you probably still convert things into that currency to grasp how much something really is, which takes a lot of effort. For those who lived in a relatively cheap country, you probably went through a period where everything seemed ridiculously expensive. It all really hits you when you realise that you can't actually buy lunch for 50p or afford to go to the cinema more than twice a year.
* Blandine West, 20, is studying Politics and International Relations at the University of Bath and is spending a sandwich year doing a 10-month internship at InterNations (internations.org) in Munich.

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The 10 biggest struggles for a third culture kid

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As a 'third culture kid,' you live a particularly interesting life growing up abroad in a culture different to that of your parents. This experience is often very difficult to explain to those who haven't been in your situation. I'm half French and half English, and grew up in Thailand.

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Do you agree that the Identity of Generation Z is that they are less brave than previous generations? How is accessing the outside world even more of an issue for NLCS pupils?

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They have been deemed "generation sensible" for their focus on social issues, healthy living and drinking less alcohol. But therapists say generation Z could miss out on a wealth of life experience due to their overly cautious attitude to taking risks.

Many young people increasingly choose to stay within a comfort zone of a small network of like-minded friends in which much of their social activity is virtual, according to mental health experts.

While this can give them more control over some aspects of their lives, it can also lead to social anxiety when they have to interact with people offline, the experts added.

Natalie Phillips, a psychotherapist who works with children and young people aged from 11 to 25, said: "I'm seeing a disproportionate increase in referrals for social anxiety, professional anxiety, general self-confidence and relationship issues for this generation when they are confronted with the reality of being in an office, being in a nightclub, being in a pub, or being on a date."

Her comments came after an academic study, published in the British Journal of Sociology, said generation Z claim they drink less alcohol than their parents because they feel under pressure to perform academically, are more health conscious and do not want to lose control.

Phillips said: "I do have the sense that [this generation] are possibly missing out on making mistakes and the sense of being young. I think they're quite old before their time."

She added that many of the young people she works with have "restricted comfort zones" because they work from home or largely interact with colleagues online, and have a small number of friends who are of the same mindset.

"They are not in social situations to the same extent that we were generations before them. There's a danger that your world becomes inward-looking, and that can then cause self-perpetuating anxiety. The outside world is much more scary because you haven't got the experience to deal with that."

This trend has been exacerbated by the pandemic, which has led to more young people working remotely and socialising in person less frequently, the psychotherapist added.

The study, entitled More Options ... Less Time in the "Hustle Culture" of "Generation Sensible": Individualization and Drinking Decline Among Twenty-First Century Young Adults, found 70% of the young people surveyed felt they were under greater pressure than their parents to achieve academically and get a good career, leaving them less time to party.

The researchers from the universities of Kent and Leeds surveyed 517 Britons aged 18 to 25 who described themselves as moderate or non-drinkers in 2020.

Seven out of 10 respondents said they felt they did not need to drink as much because they have a better choice of hobbies than their parents' generation.

Many also said that they reduced their alcohol consumption due to the rising cost of drinks, university debt, and pressure to succeed in academia and their future careers.

The researchers also interviewed focus groups of university students who were members of "sober" societies to understand why they abstained from drinking.

One focus group member, Jennifer, said: "[We are] hyper-aware of the world as it is, and the problems with climate change and the political climate in the world, creating pressure on us to be doing our best to be making the world a better place, rather than just like living for the moment and having fun."

Jane Darougar, a psychotherapist at Central Saint Martins school of art and design, said she was surprised to discover how many students said they were teetotal.

Darougar attributed this to their greater awareness of the adverse impact of alcohol on their mental health.

"I've had students who said, I have underlying anxiety, I know that if I drink my anxiety will be through the roof the next day, and I just can't deal with that," she added.

"I remember when I was young people would say dutch courage, and you'd take a drink before you went do something that seemed a bit frightening. I think that's gone, people don't see that as a sensible or constructive way of managing."

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'Generation sensible' risk missing out on life experiences, therapists warn

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They have been deemed "generation sensible" for their focus on social issues, healthy living and drinking less alcohol. But therapists say generation Z could miss out on a wealth of life experience due to their overly cautious attitude to taking risks.

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To what extent do you think travel can shape our Identity?