# data[].attributes.body
I am not a real person yet.

Note

Feel free to write down as anonymous or just out abbreviations of your name ;)

# data[].attributes.body
It's as if I am in a limbo where I feel like "I can" but in the same breath "I can't".

# data[].attributes.body
i kind of understand now, i'll continuously find everything and anything in this world but the spark i once had.

# data[].attributes.body
twenty-years of existence yet i can't seem to let go of my two-year old self, it isn't fun growing up why did you rush it?

# data[].attributes.body
it won't change even if i try to love myself more, i'll be staying here carrying the wounds of my existence.

# data[].attributes.body
"i exist",

i couldn't.

# data[].attributes.body
maybe if i'm a fish, i'll learn how to breathe in this endless pool of thoughts.

# data[].attributes.body
Everything feels like figured out until you start dipping your toes into the water. Sometimes cold, sometimes hot.

But most of the time, warm— enough to enjoy and try.

# data[].attributes.body
is it too late for me to dream?

# data[].attributes.body
I still grieve. Because how is it already 5 years since I lost you, my lola?

# data[].attributes.body
Don't feel guilty for the things you weren't able to do and the things you haven't done yet—at least, not forever.

You're anything but ordinary.

# data[].attributes.body
Maybe someday, all of these will make sense.

# data[].attributes.body
an excerpt from a poem i wrote early this year:

i pray be built stronger for this

if swerved with atrocities of rash wounds

if chemicals filled me as they please,

when bruised, unloved, detained in battle ground.

# data[].attributes.body
an excerpt from a poem i wrote early this year:

I know there is something in me that needs to be freed

A craving of a soulful escape

As a matter of fact, for this I bleed

For it the drive, which inspires, creates and shapes.

Oh, to show up in instances you can never imagine

And understand the fruitfulness, that it's time to begin.

in a nutshell, live through and show up, we'll never know what's in it or for us next. so live, through and through.