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How long will it take huh? How long will it take us to see that we have a problem and its getting worse and worse day by day. How long will children,men, and women suffer days,weeks,months ,years.When will we get our children home or into a safe home where they are loved where they are wanted where they feel  SAFE.

***Nyachiew, this piece of pathos is very close to being extremely effective! The only item I would change is the repetition of "How long" and the use of "huh?". The reason I say this because "how long" consistently repeated can be quite a cliché at times. Also instead of mentioning that "children, men, and women suffer days, weeks, and months", I would figure out how to make this more unique and original. Depending on what stages of life individuals go through, the idea of "suffering" may be different. Consider talking about specific types of suffering you are mentioning about in your letter. All in all, this is a great start; however, take it the next step up with more originality and specifics. Let me know if you need assistance with this!***

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But teenagers aren’t able to go to bars because we are to young and are to old to attend and play at children’s museums.There is only a few things that we are able to do because we are either to old or to young to partake in. That is a eight year age gap between not being able to do anything.

*a comment I made to the side for this one is; Not being able to participate in activities can make people feel unwelcome and left out of fun and safe activities for teens that don't provoke inappropriate activities or life threatening activities.

I think I am going to need a peers or your help to find ways to add or find pathos I already have in my letter.

***Brynna, you bring up great thoughts. The easiest way to add pathos is to figure out what emotion you truly want your audience to feel. Once you have picked an emotion, it is then your job to figure out how to make your word choice echo that emotion. For instance, the comment you wrote above is a perfect place to add pathos. Go back to your emotion that you want to evoke and use thesaurus.com to come up with brilliant words to help provide that intensity. We can work on this in class today together if you would like. Let me know your thoughts!***

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They will also be able to make new friends and grow that relationship, creating positive relationships will help them along the way through high school, both mentally and educationally, so that at the end of the tunnel is a bright field full of opportunities.
I need help with a more effective way of writing this pathos.

***Phu, this piece of pathos is very close. The first step I would like you to focus on is choosing an emotion you wish your audience to be feeling. Once you have picked that audience, it will be your mission to form all of your sentences with that emotion in mind. Then I would start with "positive relationships". I feel as if this is a buzz word that is thrown around quite a bit without any specific, personable descriptions. What does a positive relationship look like/feel like? By diving into more of what a positive relationship truly is, it will be a lot easier for people to jump on board with what your mission is in your letter. Let me know if you need assistance with this!***

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What would the point of even having college be if kids can’t even survive long enough to enjoy their degree?

This sentence is like, imagining what a kids life would be like if they started smoking early on and made it through life just to die because like, you know. I feel like its not SAD enough

***I would agree with you, Phat! What is the emotion you are wanting to evoke from your audience? Once you have figured out what that emotion is, then it is your mission to figure out word choice to go along with it. If you are searching for sadness, talking about surviving isn't really sad (that is more of fear). If students are enrolled in college and they don't enjoy their classes, what sadness can come from that? What word choice can you use instead of "surviving" to showcase that? It might be powerful to do a fast forward into the future to show the detrimental effects surrounding sadness of this event falling through the cracks. Let me know your thoughts on this if you need more assistance!***

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My family will be your really first customer in the opening day, my brothers and sister can’t wait until that day
My parents enjoy into many different entertainment place in Nebraska any seasons, they’re feeling boring, and want a new thing will be established

Help me on this thing because I feel it is not good at grammar

***Hello, mystery writer! Let me know who you are so I can help work with you today in class on grammar!***

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The only downside I can see, is that yes, there are guns in it. But we see guns all the time, in military ads on tv, in the news,

***Breckin, this is close! I would start with your guided notes to be reminded of the strategies for using pathos. #1) Figure out what emotion you want to evoke from your audience. Once you have pinpointed what that emotion is, it is crucial to target your word choice that emotion. #2) Focus on word choice. The more colorful, intense the word choice is, the more impactful your letter will be. Tell a story. Tell a story. Tell a story with any information you wish to introduce. Let me know if you need assistance with this!***

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1) Pulling girls out of class, or making them change their clothes because the amount of skin they’re showing is “inappropriate” or “distracting” tells girls that their bodies are inherently sexual,  and that their male peer’s education is more important than theirs because they can go to school without fear of wearing the clothes that they own, while the girls have to carefully plan everything they wear in hopes that they won’t get pulled out of class, or shamed for what they’re wearing.

2) Lupher, you have children, would you want to see them shamed for wearing clothes that they felt good in? Would you feel comfortable knowing that your child is being sexualized in their schools because the gender they identify with has been deemed sexual?

I would like to know if things that I'm saying would actually invoke any sort of emotion, and would work on a human, or if it sounds too generic

***Moxie, this is a great start to your use of pathos in your letter. Your tone doesn't sound generic which is a good thing! It would be beneficial to understand what type of emotion you are seeking to evoke from your reader? Is it shame? Sadness? Guilt? Once you have figured out what particular emotion your mission is, then you are able to form your word choices/sentences around that emotion. It may also be beneficial to think about your audience is. How will he respond best in this argument? What tone of voice is most appropriate? As your sentences stand now, they sound a tad too defiant and "in your face" which is not a bad thing you believe that your audience will respond positively to these items. Have a game plan in these situations and then reassess based on what you have decided. Let me know if you need assistance with this moving forward!***

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If a teenager goes un helped he/she can cause serious harm and you don't want that on your conensens.
Thousands of teens go without any mental health help at all.

***Kaden, these sentences are very close. A couple of things I suggest changing are "un helped" and "conensens" to make them more proper. It would be more beneficial to paint a picture and be extremely specific. For example, how can we make "serious harm" more specific and unique? It might also be beneficial to finish the thought of many teenagers not getting mental health help at all. What are the effects of this happening? Let me know if you need assistance with this!***

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I am writing to you to express my thoughts on reading, I am hoping that I change people’s minds on reading and how and why we should read on constant bases.

some book we read we never learn anything from them or never get them because their authors did very little to make their book great

***Hussein, I like the direction of this pathos. The second piece that you have copied and pasted has a lot of potential. Instead of making it a generic situation, it might be beneficial to make it more specific/real life example. What is a book that was not good/engaging? What is a scenario of a person not reading and improving those skills? If you keep this piece generic, it is very easy for your reader to say yes or no. You want to plant a thought in their head that will simmer and make them feel uncomfortable so they begin to engage with their opinion on the topic. Let me know if you need more assistance with this!***

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For instance, you are a law-abiding gun owner and you use it for self defense purposes. You get your gun taken away because of gun control. Someone breaks into your home with a gun they got illegally, what are you going to defend yourself with?

I feel like my wording could be better but don't know how to fix it.

***Seth, this is great start to using pathos! The only item I would suggest changing is switching "you" to "an individual". The less antagonizing we can sound, the more effective our message will be. It might be powerful to include the thought process of an individual who is going through these situations. The more we can piece together information/situations for our audience, the less likelihood there is of someone being defiant to your message. It might also be a good idea to play up this idea of a fight/break in. A lot of times people play the whole "that will never happen to me" card. If you can make it sound/feel/look like a realistic situation, your audience is likely to be more understanding and willing to be openminded. Also, it sounds like you are wanting to evoke the emotion of fear in this situation. Use your word choice to your advantage when you are instilling fear. Let me know if you need further assistance!***

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enjoy living their lives to the fullest without having no money issues.

***Pla, this is very close! What does "enjoy living their lives" truly mean/look like? If someone is really enjoying their life, they have a certain persona/vibe about how they are living. It may be a good idea to input some of those descriptions into this part of your letter to truly appeal to your audience so they can relate specifically to what you are saying more.***

some students I believe won’t even remember these things because they either will be stress over graduations or other classes that they think are way more important.

***Apply the same feedback above to this statement. What things? What stress? What kind of importance/what does that look like? Paint the picture for the ideas you are bringing up! Let me know if you need further assistance with this!***

Help me make someone feel what I feel and understand what I am trying to say.

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It’s very hard for homeless people to find shelter now with the People’s City Mission becoming so full, especially around the winter time.

They need a way to get back on their feet and get to those jobs or potentially get an education.

***Maddy, these sentences have so much potential. For a lot of people, they have never experienced homelessness; therefore, it is important to stay away from clichés and predictable statements. It may be a brilliant idea to bring more descriptions into what it is like to be turned away from help during the winter months. Also, it will help to figure out what emotion you wish to evoke from your audience. Once you have picked that emotion, it is critical to form all sentences/word choice around that emotion to truly stay on track. Also, it may be a good idea to focus on talking about a specific homeless individual and their journey (fictional of course). This will allow pathos to take full charge instead of grouping it to an entire population. Let me know if you need assistance with this moving forward!***

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1)discrimination has put up a climate of fear, and disrespect that can seriously impair the physical and psychological health of its victims.

***The climate of fear portion of this sentence is extremely powerful! Pathos is absolutely present in this sentence.***

2) The government and the states has failed to recognize that racism, discrimination, violence, hatred etc has created a hostile environment, it address each only in isolation, therefore the government has also failed to take prompt and effective steps reasonably calculated to end discrimination and prevent its recurrence.

***Gilly, this piece of information is valuable and pathos is present. The only item I would consider changing is "racism, discrimination, violence, and hatred." The only reason I say this is because this creates a hefty sentence that is full of intense concepts. I would pick one of those that your letter focuses on and only mention that one in your sentence. Once you have done that, it is important to paint the picture of what that concept is. The more emotion you can evoke from your audience, the more impactful your letter will be. Let me know if you need further assistance with this!**

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As a child myself, I feel for the children who have been separated from their families as a result of these raids. How traumatic would it be to come home from school and learn your mom, dad, or maybe both, have been taken? Have I used good word choice to make the reader feel understand my feelings towards this topic?

***Sydney, this is a great start for using pathos in your letter. I see and feel the emotions you are trying to evoke from your audience. I would suggest using alternative phrase to "as a child myself". The reason is because calling yourself a child may take away your brilliant use of ethos you have brought up. Also, instead of asking multiple questions, I would suggest phrasing these questions as statements to make them seem nonnegotiable and planted thoughts in your audience's head. Let me know if you need assistance with this process!***