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This psychologist talks about the power of using posture to trick yourself into assuming confidence.

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1.  How might faking body language affect your actual confidence?

2.  How does confidence in yourself affect how you treat others?

3. Are confident people afraid of being judged?

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Carrie Cheadle - Mental Skills Training Coach

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I'm sure you've heard the phrase; " just fake it 'til you make it." If you just act confident, then eventually you'll feel confident. If you just pretend like you're motivated, eventually you'll become motivated. But does it really work? Can you really fake it 'til you make it?

The idea of "fake it 'til you make it" came from the theory of the self-fulfilling prophecy. This theory posits that if you are told something enough times you start to internalize that message, turning it into a belief that eventually comes true.
"I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until finally I became that person. Or he became me." Cary Grant
From the self-fulfilling prophecy we eventually came to the idea of "act as if"; if you act as if something is already true, it will eventually become true. Acting confident isn't just in your thoughts; it's also in how you carry yourself.

Amy Cuddy's TED Talk on "How Body Language Shapes Who You Are" (I mentioned her talk in my last blog post: The Top 4 Essential TED Talks for Athletes explains how your body language can influence your feelings of confidence and that you aren't faking it until you make it, you are faking it until you become it.

How you carry yourself affects how you feel and how others perceive you. Imagine a competitor conveying their lack of confidence in their body language. They might be moving sluggish with their head hanging down or they might be stiff and full of anger... what do you think about your competitor in that moment? If you want to be the athlete to beat, carry yourself like you are the athlete to beat. This is different than being cocky. This is allowing your body to send the message to your brain that you can do this. When you hold yourself with confidence, you start to feel more confident.

Start paying attention to how you carry yourself. How's your body language after a success? After a mistake? Then start to pay attention to the athletes you admire and watch how they carry themselves. During your next competition, think about how you can carry yourself with confidence from the moment you start preparing for your event through the end of your competition.

Some people get stuck on the idea that pretending is lying ... if I "pretend" to be confident, I'm just lying to myself. Pretending, or 'acting as if' is different than lying. Lying is based in deception. Pretending is trying something out to see how it feels. It is also way to tap into something inside of you that is already there, but feels foreign or uncomfortable because it hasn't been a part of you that you've brought out. You're trying it on, feeling it out ... like an actor getting into character.

Give yourself a time frame - just try it out. And then keep trying it. Until you become it ... and it becomes you.

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Confidence: Can You Really 'Fake it 'til you make it'? - Carrie Cheadle - Mental Skills Training Coach

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I'm sure you've heard the phrase; " just fake it 'til you make it." If you just act confident, then eventually you'll feel confident. If you just pretend like you're motivated, eventually you'll become motivated. But does it really work? Can you really fake it 'til you make it?

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This talks about the steps to help you fake your confidence to a way where you would of think why you lack on confidence.

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Finding Inner Self-Confidence: How to Fake it Til You Make it

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The Fake it Til You Make it mind map will help you to develop the confidence you need to overcome your fears and achieve your goals and objectives.

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Sometimes you feel like you're in over your head. Perhaps you got a big promotion or are leading a new, high-profile initiative but you worry that you don't have the right skills or experience to succeed. Are there strategies you can use to jolt your confidence? How do you "fake it 'til you make it"? And are there risks to that approach?

What the Experts Say
Feeling anxious about a new professional challenge is natural. In fact, imposter syndrome - the creeping fear that others will discover you aren't as smart, capable, or creative as they think you are - is a lot more common than you might guess. Most people feel like a fraud from time to time, and "many of us never completely shed those fears - we work them out as they come," says Amy J.C. Cuddy, a professor at Harvard Business School and the author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. The key to doing that, she says, is "to trick yourself out of the state of self-doubt." Faking it 'til you make it is not about pretending to have skills you don't, she adds. It's "about pretending to yourself that you're confident" so you can work hard and get the job done. So, for starters, "let up [on] the self-flagellation." Often, the root of the insecurity involves your personal leadership style, says Herminia Ibarra, a professor at INSEAD and the author of Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader. Your task is to figure out "how you come across as credible, how you convey your competency to others, and how you communicate your ideas in an authentic way." Here are some ways to go about it.

Frame it as an opportunity
The more you focus on what's scary about the new team you're leading or the project you're steering, the more intimidated you'll feel. Instead, "frame the challenge not as a threat but as an opportunity to do something new and different," says Cuddy. "Don't think, 'Oh no, I feel anxious.' Think, 'This is exciting.' That makes it easier to get in there and engage." Remind yourself that the professional challenge you've been asked to take on is probably "not categorically different" from what you've done before. "It's just a little different. [So] you need to scale up."

Think incrementally
If you approach a new position or responsibility with the goal of "killing it right off the bat, you're setting yourself up for failure," says Cuddy. Rather than setting a grandiose objective, she suggests making " small, incremental improvements" in your performance. Think of these steps as "the opposite of a New Year's resolution," she says. For instance, you might say to yourself, "In today's meeting, I'm going to make sure everyone on the team feels heard." Or, "At this networking session, I am going to make two new connections." A growing body of research supports this approach, notes Ibarra. "Goals are a moving target," she says, requiring constant setting and resetting.

Watch and learn
When you're developing your personal management style, you should observe how others lead, according to Ibarra. One role model will not suffice; "you need a panoply of them," she says. "It's helpful to be exposed to many different styles." Watch how these people influence others, use humor, and come across as charismatic and self-assured. Also take note of their verbal tactics - when they use silence, how they pose questions, and how they intervene. "Pay attention and then try to emulate [what they're doing]," she says. "You can borrow bits and pieces and tailor them to you."

Be bold in your body language
One surefire way to come across as self-confident when you're feeling insecure is to use "body language that makes you feel bold and victorious," says Cuddy. Your aim is to make "yourself feel more powerful psychologically." Take long strides. Sit up straight. Walk with your chest held high. And don't slouch. When you "carry yourself in a way that conveys power, poise, and healthy pride," you feel more self-assured and others perceive you that way. "You feel less guarded, more optimistic, more focused on goals, and more likely to take a stand," she says.

Heed red flags
If you're so overwhelmed that every day nearly brings on a panic attack, faking it may be inadvisable. The goal is to "step outside of your comfort zone," Ibarra says, not to set yourself up for failure or a breakdown. Cuddy agrees: "When you are in serious fight-or-flight mode, it's very hard to get yourself out of it; it's like a death spiral." So if you have deep-seated concerns that the challenge you're being presented with is too much too soon, or is unrealistic given the time frame and resources at your disposal, it's important to speak up.
Principles to Remember Do:

Create goals based on making small, incremental improvements in your performance.

Jolt your confidence with bold and expansive body language.

Observe how your role models comport themselves in various professional situations. Seek ways to incorporate their strategies and tactics into your leadership repertoire.

Don't:

Beat yourself up for feeling like an imposter - feeling nervous about a professional challenge is natural.

Be overly daunted or scared by the challenge at hand. Consider it an opportunity to do something new and different.

Fake confidence if you have legitimate concerns that the challenge you're being asked to take on is not feasible. If it's too much, say so.

Case Study #1: Focus on the opportunity and set small, achievable goals
Alex Mohler admits that when he first started as director of client services at Crubiq, a B2B sales company based in Raleigh, North Carolina, he felt like a fish out of water. Most of his prior experience was in the frozen dessert industry. "Crubiq sells to tech and analytics platforms," he says. "Coming from the ice cream world, I didn't know a lot about this."

But he didn't let his nerves get to him. "I had to be willing to go into the unknown and embrace it," he says. "I looked at my new job as an opportunity to learn about an exciting, cutting-edge technology, and that was very motivating for me."

He reminded himself that Crubiq represented a new business for him, and he had a proven track record in sales. He needed to have faith in his abilities. "I was still selling a product and selling a concept to people," he says.

Alex says he's learned the importance of sometimes thinking small. At Crubiq he and his team members each make a daily list of three things they want to accomplish. For example, Alex recently took on a new client in an unfamiliar industry, so one of his goals was to spend two hours doing research on the sector. Another of his goals to improve his Excel skills. To accomplish it, he set a goal of completing three sections of Excel Everest, a training program, each week.

"When you're working on something as daunting and overwhelming as creating a brand and starting a company, it helps to be able to look back at those lists, check off boxes, and have a sense of accomplishment," Alex says.

Case Study #2: Emulate successful role models and exhibit strong body language
When Radhika Duggal took over as a director in the marketing division at CommonBond, the student lending service based in New York, she "panicked a little."

Although she had experience leading a team, this felt different. "I was inheriting a team of four people - all of whom had been at CommonBond for some time," she explains. "They knew the business, whereas I had to learn it."

To rev her confidence, she reminded herself that she had applicable skills and expertise. Before CommonBond, she had worked at Pfizer and Deloitte. "Because of my time as a consultant, I understood processes and I knew how to get work done," she says. She also had directly relevant experience from doing social media and email marketing in previous jobs.

She reflected on past bosses and role models who struck her as particularly confident, and then created a working list of the leadership skills she wanted to emulate. "I once worked with a creative, talented manager who knew how to work a room," she recalls. "But he told me he was not very well organized, he was not a detail person, and that's where he needed my help." His candor and willingness to admit his faults were eye-opening to Radhika. She now tries to be as open and honest with her direct reports.

Radhika also understands that her body language has a direct effect on her job performance. She works hard at coming across as authoritative. "I want my presence to be bigger than it is," she says. "I pay attention to standing up straight, using hand gestures, and using intonation in my voice to engage people. I notice that it has a big impact on the dynamic and energy in the room."

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How to Fake It When You're Not Feeling Confident

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Sometimes you feel like you're in over your head. Perhaps you got a big promotion or are leading a new, high-profile initiative but you worry that you don't have the right skills or experience to succeed. Are there strategies you can use to jolt your confidence?

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a sociologist says that "self-fulfilling prophecy" can help you gain false confidence.

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What do the world's most successful individuals possess that allows them to be so influential? What is it that gives a rock star, a politician, or an athlete the courage to perform in front of thousands, even millions of people, or a business leader the ability to keep churning out product after product that is game-changing but also high risk for his company? For these people to do what they do, they need a strong belief in themselves that allows them to persist in the face of failure and to keep trying, no matter their level of fear. They have an internal drive that tells them that they can succeed, that they have the ability to handle whatever comes their way. Is this characteristic unique to them? Or is it something we all can possess?

I wrote my first blog post on the importance of having a strong social support network, and I shared some research on the subject that made it clear that friends and family are key contributors to health and success. With this post I'm going to cover another tool that also leads to health and success, one that is not external but rather inside of each of us: confidence. Confidence is "a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities," and it plays an important role in building healthy relationships, achieving success in your professional life, and staying motivated. Fortunately, it can be developed easily with practice and perspective.

For most of my life, the thought of public speaking made my stomach turn and twist. My anxiety would build and build in the hours leading up to a class presentation, and you could hear the fear in my voice when I spoke; frankly, I just couldn't handle it. I've seen the same fear in many other students and in some of my colleagues, as well. I had a public speaking professor who once told me that the American people were polled about their greatest fears, and the one thing they feared most, even more than death, was speaking in front of an audience.

But Professor Wells also told me that the only way to be rid of this fear was to face it. I took his words to heart, and over the last two years, I've experienced a major shift in my attitude. I now enjoy the thrill associated with public speaking, whether in a private setting with peers or in front of strangers at a conference or competition. This confidence extends to my research and writing ability, as well as how I feel during even the most basic social interactions. What was the key to this newfound strength? It may sound silly, but I actually started acting like I believed in myself.

Most people are familiar with the term 'placebo', but for those of you who aren't, a placebo is a term used most commonly in medicine that refers to a pill or procedure that gives the illusion of treatment but actually provides no physiological effect. For instance, in a study of a new drug for depression, one group of participants will be given the treatment, while another group will be given a sugar pill (the placebo) instead. Surprisingly, the participants who receive the sugar pill often show signs of improvement, though the sugar pill itself is not providing the relief. The fact that these people are expecting some sort of effect is enough for them to perceive changes that aren't physically there, and this is called the placebo effect. It has even been observed in cancer patients who received an empty injection but who, nonetheless, had their cancer go into remission, simply because they believed they were being injected with a new miracle drug. It seems that the expectations associated with a treatment can often be as powerful as the treatment itself.

Another related construct is called the self-fulfilling prophecy. The term was coined by sociologist Robert K. Murton to describe a phenomenon that dates back to Ancient Greece. Basically, a prediction about the outcome of a situation can invoke a new behavior that leads to the prediction coming true. For example, if I believed that I was going to fail an exam, that belief may have led me to alter the strategies I used for preparation and taking the test, and I would probably fail it. While I may have had a good chance to pass, my belief hindered my performance, and I made this belief become reality. Psychological research shows that the self-fulfilling prophecy works for both negative and positive predictions, indicating, again, that the beliefs you hold have an impact on what happens to you.

The point I'm trying to get at here is that you can start to build your confidence right now by telling yourself that you've got it in you; the more you believe that you are capable, the more you will be. The placebo effect tells us that expectations alone can be strong enough to overcome diseases and afflictions, and the self-fulfilling prophecy illustrates how your predictions about a situation influence the outcome, so why shouldn't you be able to alter your expectations about your own abilities and experience a renewal of confidence? Get into the routine of telling yourself that you can be successful in all aspects of your life, and you may find that you can not only handle many more challenges but that you have been able to all along.

Important, too, is your ability to put your performance in perspective. Not every speech you give, point you raise, or question you ask will be perfect, and, for some of us, remembering the failures is far easier than remembering the successes. But if you want to build your confidence, you need to call upon the times when you've triumphed. Try to recall just one of these moments for each moment of failure that plagues you, and you'll find yourself much better off. And remember that, even when everything else is out of your control, there is one person who should always be on your side: you. If you can depend on yourself, you'll find that other people can, too.

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What do the world's most successful individuals possess that allows them to be so influential? What is it that gives a rock star, a politician, or an athlete the courage to perform in front of thousands, even millions of people, or a business leader the ability to keep churning out product after product that is game-changing but also high risk for his company?

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This student talks about how faking confidence isn't to trick or deceive others but it's to trick yourself. Faking confidence is a very helpful way to improve your everyday self no matter where you are.

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Fake It 'Till You Make It - Varsity Tutors Scholarship Essay

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Varsity Tutors connects you to top tutors through its award-winning live learning platform for private in-home or online tutoring in your area.

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The author talks about how watching people that you see as confident can help you fake it till you believe it

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Confidence is crucial for advancing in your career, but a lot of Americans today are suffering from a lack of confidence with their jobs and the state of the economy. This doesn't mean that you're relegated to the sidelines until circumstances improve, though. You'll just have to fake it. Afraid you'll be as obvious as Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally? Here's some advice from experts on how to bluff your way to confidence.

Be shameless. "Confidence rarely equates to competence," points out Tom Hayes, founder and owner of marketing company Riley Hayes. "sometimes the most competent people are the least confident and that the most confident people are the least competent." Research shows that people unconsciously defer to people who project an air of confidence, regardless of whether or not they "should be" in charge. Yes, taking those first steps can be excruciating, but if you can just get the ball rolling, your colleagues will automatically perceive you as having confidence and leadership qualities.

Spend your down time studying what leaders do. Even if you're not feeling it, having the right tools to project an air of confidence can go a long way, suggests Heidi Golledge, co-founder and CEO of CareerBliss.com. "We have noticed employees using their free time to join ToastMasters... programmers reading the latest management and technology books as well as taking a weekend to join a conference in their field lead by creative industry leaders," she says.

Or don't. Doing something you enjoy in your free time - an activity or hobby that has absolutely no bearing on your job - can still have a positive impact on your career confidence, Golledge says. So what if you're a database manager or an administrator - if taking art classes or running obstacle races revs you up, go for it. Then, when you're back in the office, recall the confidence boost that comes from doing something you like, even if you're never going to become an expert.

Focus your efforts. If you're an introverted type, faking confidence and being "on" all the time can be exhausting. In a Harvard Business Review blog post, consultant and speaker Dorie Clark suggests grouping your to-do list so you're not facing social interactions where you have to project confidence every single day. "Batching my activities allows me to focus, and alternating between social and quiet time enables me to be at my best when I do interact with people," she writes. If you can pick a day's worth of tasks that won't require you to put on a "game face," you'll be refreshed for the next time around.

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4 Extremely Easy Ways to Fake Confidence

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Confidence is crucial for advancing in your career, but a lot of Americans today are suffering from a lack of confidence with their jobs and the state of the economy. This doesn't mean that you're relegated to the sidelines until circumstances improve, though. You'll just have to fake it.

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1. How can emulating another speaker, influence your confidence?

2. Is it possible to turn your insecurities into strengths? How?

3. How can someone who is deeply afraid of public speaking overcome those fears? Is it possible?

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4 Extremely easy ways to fake confidence

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Confidence is crucial for advancing in your career, but a lot of Americans today are suffering from a lack of confidence with their jobs and the state of the economy. This doesn't mean that you're relegated to the sidelines until circumstances improve, though. You'll just have to fake it. Afraid you'll be as obvious as Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally? Here's some advice from experts on how to bluff your way to confidence.

Be shameless. "Confidence rarely equates to competence," points out Tom Hayes, founder and owner of marketing company Riley Hayes. "sometimes the most competent people are the least confident and that the most confident people are the least competent." Research shows that people unconsciously defer to people who project an air of confidence, regardless of whether or not they "should be" in charge. Yes, taking those first steps can be excruciating, but if you can just get the ball rolling, your colleagues will automatically perceive you as having confidence and leadership qualities.

Spend your down time studying what leaders do. Even if you're not feeling it, having the right tools to project an air of confidence can go a long way, suggests Heidi Golledge, co-founder and CEO of CareerBliss.com. "We have noticed employees using their free time to join ToastMasters... programmers reading the latest management and technology books as well as taking a weekend to join a conference in their field lead by creative industry leaders," she says.

Or don't. Doing something you enjoy in your free time - an activity or hobby that has absolutely no bearing on your job - can still have a positive impact on your career confidence, Golledge says. So what if you're a database manager or an administrator - if taking art classes or running obstacle races revs you up, go for it. Then, when you're back in the office, recall the confidence boost that comes from doing something you like, even if you're never going to become an expert.

Focus your efforts. If you're an introverted type, faking confidence and being "on" all the time can be exhausting. In a Harvard Business Review blog post, consultant and speaker Dorie Clark suggests grouping your to-do list so you're not facing social interactions where you have to project confidence every single day. "Batching my activities allows me to focus, and alternating between social and quiet time enables me to be at my best when I do interact with people," she writes. If you can pick a day's worth of tasks that won't require you to put on a "game face," you'll be refreshed for the next time around.

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4 Extremely Easy Ways to Fake Confidence

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Confidence is crucial for advancing in your career, but a lot of Americans today are suffering from a lack of confidence with their jobs and the state of the economy. This doesn't mean that you're relegated to the sidelines until circumstances improve, though. You'll just have to fake it.

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1. Can you really just "Fake it till you make it" when u present?
2. How do you avoid coming off as cocky?
3. Can lying to your audience be beneficial for your confidence ?

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1. Would faking it help everyone in their everyday life?
2. Do you think false confidence is better than no confidence?
3. In what scenario would you use false confidence and why?

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7 Mental Hacks to Be More Confident in Yourself

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On my first day at the FBI Academy, I didn't feel like a superhero. In fact it wasn't until after four grueling months of being placed in dangerous and awkward situations that I built the self-confidence necessary for my career. Boosting confidence is the primary goal of the Academy- before they send agents out with a gun and badge.

There were days when my heart raced and my palms sweat just thinking about the new challenges that faced me. But I learned that success would not make me confident- confidence in myself and my abilities would make me successful.

Related: 8 Ways to Be a More Confident Person

On the first day, I was filled with doubt. I had never shot a gun, made an arrest or investigated a foreign spy-these challenges pushed me outside my comfort zone. I felt like I was at the mercy of the unknown, not knowing how I would land on my feet. But I held onto my dream of becoming an agent and plodded forward.

I'd venture to guess entrepreneurs, leaders and business owners might share some of the same fears I faced at the FBI Academy: How can I pull this off? But in my 24 years in the FBI, the only four-letter word I didn't hear was "can't. "

Confidence is the cornerstone of leadership. If you don't believe in yourself, how can others believe in you? Here are seven ways FBI agents learn to boost their confidence-mental hacks you can use to be more confident in yourself, too:

As children we think we can conquer the world, but somewhere between childhood and adulthood, our enthusiasm and natural inclinations to dream big are squashed. Parents and teachers start imposing their own beliefs-about what we can and can't do in life-upon us.

If the instructors at the FBI Academy were not pushing us past our self-limiting beliefs, they weren't doing their job.

How to make it work for you:

Find your limits by exposing yourself to different situations and pushing through the uncomfortable. Once you have confidence in yourself, you'll be amazed what you can accomplish.

2. Never confuse memory with facts.

Our memory does not store information exactly as it's presented to us. Instead we extract the gist of the experience and store it in ways that makes the most sense to us. That's why different people witnessing the same event often have different versions.

Your brain has a built-in confirmation bias. That means it stores information that is consistent with your own beliefs, values and self-image. This selective memory system helps keep the brain from getting overloaded with too much information.

So recognize that your memory does not always provide you with accurate information. For example if you have low self-esteem, your brain tends to store information that confirms your lack of confidence. That will be all you remember about a specific event.

How to make it work for you:

Revisit the facts of a memory loaded with self-limiting beliefs and try to gain a more accurate perspective on the event. Talk with others that might have a different perspective.

3. Talk to yourself.

This might seem crazy, but it works. Talking to yourself can make you smarter, improve your memory, help you focus and even increase athletic performance. The documentary The Human Brain claims we say between 300 to 1,000 words to ourselves per minute. The Navy SEALS and Special Forces use the power of positive self-talk as a way of getting through tough times.

For example by instructing recruits to be mentally tough and speak positively to themselves, they can learn how to override fears resulting from the limbic brain system, a primal part of the brain that helps us deal with anxiety.

How to make it work for you:

Be positive, because the way you talk to yourself influences your neurobiological response to it. When you say, I know what to do here or see things as a challenge rather than a problem, you've turned your response into a positive one.

4. Think positive to overcome your negativity bias.

Since the early days, humans learned to get lunch or be lunch. Our natural negativity bias has kept us safe from danger for thousands of years. But not every new or different thing is a threat to our survival. This negativity bias can chisel away at our confidence because we're hardwired to pay attention to all that we've done wrong.

FBI agents are taught to hunt the good stuff. It can be hard at times because positive information is like Teflon and easily falls away. But negative information, like Velcro, sticks.

How to make it work for you:

1. Come up with five positive thoughts to counter every one negative thought.

2. Let every positive thought sit for 20 seconds before moving to the next positive thought.

3. Acknowledge both good and bad emotions.

4. Do not try to suppress negative ones.

5. Label the emotions for what they truly are and move on. Do not enter into inner dialogue about the negative emotion because then it becomes more powerful.

Curiosity is an important trait for FBI agents working investigations and anyone who wants to be confident and successful.

Curiosity is the foundation of life-long growth. If we remain curious, we remain teachable and our minds and hearts grow larger every day. We can retain our beginner's mind by always looking forward and discovering new experiences and uncovering new information.

How to make it work for you:

Ask questions and be curious because:

It makes your mind active instead of passive.

It encourages you to be more observant of new ideas.

It opens up new worlds and possibilities.

It creates an adventurous response that leads you in a new direction.

If you lack self-confidence, you will always feel like you're at the mercy of other people. When you assume a victim mentality, you are no longer resilient to life's inevitable obstacles and roadblocks.

FBI agents go where they are needed, not to where they feel most comfortable. I was assigned investigations I had no idea how to solve. But my thinking was this: Drop me into the middle of any squad or any situation, anywhere, anytime. I will not be scared because I am confident I will succeed wherever I am.

How to make it work for you:

No one but you is stopping you from achieving what you want to accomplish. It's time to identify the areas in which you doubt yourself and remove those barriers.

When we feel in control, we're not afraid. When we have a level of comfort with something, it's not scary. When we don't feel in control, we don't think clearly because our emotional brain is in the driver's seat and takes over. This is why fear often seems random and irrational-our emotions are in control.

To increase safety, FBI agents are taught to move closer to the threat. It does no good to avoid, deny or ignore the fear.

How to make it work for you:

Harvard Medical School professor Ronald Siegel recommends this in his book, The Mindfulness Solution:

Think about your worst fear. Spend time with it. Now make your fear worse by getting closer to it. Imagine the worst that could happen. Now focus on your breathing. Feel your body relax. See, you didn't die, did you? You're on your way to conquering your fear.

If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anybody else to? Start today.

Related: Your Thoughts Create Your Beliefs

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7 Mental Hacks to Be More Confident in Yourself

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On my first day at the FBI Academy, I didn't feel like a superhero. In fact it wasn't until after four grueling months of being placed in dangerous and awkward situations that I built the self-confidence necessary for my career. Boosting confidence is the primary goal of the Academy- before they send agents out with a gun and badge.

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This person breaks down the different steps they use to fake confidence

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This article helps present yourself in how you look and the way you think to boost your confidence.

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1. How do you think you could improve your confidence?
2. Would knowing who you are going to speak to help with your confidence?
3. Would receiving criticism be a bad thing or good thing?

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The author explains how to show that you're faking your confidence.

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Confidence can be an enviable quality. Being completely assured of yourself and your abilities gives you the courage to take risks and accomplish great things. But confidence doesn't always come easy, and it can come and go depending on your mood. The good news: you can fake it pretty easily.

Remember, self-esteem and self-confidence are different. You can feel like you suck at everything you do and still be totally confident in getting the job done. And it works the other way, too. You can value your skills, but maybe you're just not terribly confident using them around other people. The problem with that is that some social situations call for confidence: giving a speech, for example, or a job interview. Whatever the scenario, here are a few things to keep in mind to come across as confident when you're just not feeling it.

Speak the Right Body Language

Body language is subtle, but it can send a powerful message without you even realizing it. For example, a few habits will automatically call you out you as lacking confidence:

Bad posture: slouching, hunched shoulders

Fidgeting

Crossed arms

Swapping those out with the right body language can immediately help you appear more confident. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy talks about "high power poses." She suggests movements that are more open, spread out, and take up a bit more room help exude power. Consider the "Wonder Woman" pose, for example (or any of these other power poses): the elbows are jutting out, taking up more space, and the feet are spread out. It's a classic power pose. What's more, practicing these "high power poses" can eventually help you feel more confident. This is where the tired old phrase, "fake it 'til you make it" really does ring true.

Your shoulders can be surprising indicators of self-confidence, too. As former FBI counterintelligence agent Joe Navarro pointed out:

Over the years, after doing thousands of interviews, one of the things that I observed, which unfortunately had not been written about in the literature, was how the shoulders betrayed those who lacked confidence or who were outright lying. I found that when people are unsure of what they are saying or they lack confidence, their shoulders tend to reflect that uncertainty.

He points out that raising your shoulders, in almost a shrug, can be a dead giveaway that you're uncertain and not confident. Instead, stand up straight and pull those shoulders back. It's obvious, and probably advice your mother gave you, but it really can make a big difference.

It helps to practice, too. In preparing for a job interview, for example, it can help to practice walking into a room to get a feel for your own body language (or even practice on a friend). It might feel like a silly thing to do, but it can help you get comfortable in your own skin.

Master Eye Contact

Not enough eye contact can obviously indicate a lack of confidence, but too much eye contact can make you look like you're trying too hard (or come across as aggressive). You want to maintain just the right amount, but finding that sweet spot really isn't that difficult. As a general rule, try to make eye contact 60 percent of the time. Of course, that's going to vary on the situation, but it's less about the exact percentage and more about making sure you're engaging with someone without coming across as overly intense.

It can help to ask close friends and family how they feel about your eye contact, too. That's an easy way to find out if you make too much or too little. For the most part, though, we tend to make less eye contact when we lack confidence. Here's a trick to help you remember: make a habit of noticing their eye color. When you meet someone and want to come across as confident, pair their name with their eye color. In doing so, you'll give them more eye contact.

Learn the Components of Charisma

Confident people are often charismatic people; the traits go hand in hand. While confidence is focused more on your own habits and behaviors, charisma is about how you treat and interact with others. In short, you want to be engaged.

We've previously discussed the book The Charisma Myth, which suggests that charisma comes down to three things:

Being present in the moment with others

Exuding warmth by implying goodwill

Appearing powerful by coming across as someone who's capable of impacting the world around you

The two-second rule can help you with the first point. It's simple: before replying when it's your turn to talk, wait two seconds. For one, this shows you're listening to and processing what the other person is saying. However, it also creates a subtle amount of tension, and when you reply, that shows you're in charge of the tone and flow of the conversation, which creates a sense of power and confidence, hitting on the third point.

Asking questions is also a great, simple way to exude warmth and be present in an interaction with someone else. Interestingly, you're also controlling the conversation when you ask questions, which, again, shows power.

Charismatic people know how to keep the conversation going, too. Avoid awkward silences with the history/philosophy/metaphor rule. If you're not sure how to respond to something, consider it from each of those angles. As blog Dumb Little Man explains:

say you and your partner are on a roller coaster in a scene, and you suddenly have no idea what to say. Never fear! You can always rely on the good old HPM:

HISTORY - This reminds me of the last time I rode this coaster...

PHILOSOPHY - I HATE coasters dude! All the ups and downs make me wanna puke. But I go on one every day to prepare me for the ups and downs of life.

METAPHOR - Roller coasters are like cigarettes...

Remember, being charismatic is more about how your behavior impacts the people around you. Simply being present and making them feel important can make a huge difference. It exhibits warmth and power, which is charisma in a nutshell.

Sound Like You Know What You're Talking About

Of course, if you want to come across as confident, you want to sound like you know what you're talking about...even if you don't. A few quick and easy ways to do that include:

Avoid blank words: "um," "like," "uh."

Don't jump at the first chance to speak. Take a moment and think about your reply.

Talk slowly and calmly.

Beyond that, you want to emphasize what you know. This is classic job interview advice. If you don't have the best answer to a question, don't try to lie or cover it up, but finish up your answer with what you do know instead. For example, "No, I don't have a lot of public speaking experience, but I spent a lot of time leading meetings at my old job, and that helped me become comfortable talking in front of a crowd. That was a challenging part of my job, but I learned so much about how to put out fires in the process."

This is just one silly example, but you get the idea. And it can work with other scenarios that call for confidence, too, like speeches, debates, or Q&As.

One thing most of us are guilty of is trying to prove other people wrong. It's tempting to put people in their place, but it can also make you come across as lacking confidence. It's one thing to clear the air about a question you're asked, but dwelling on why you're right makes it seem like you're trying to prove yourself.

Sometimes trying to be confident when you're not can come across as cocky, but that's only because you overdo it. Confidence isn't about being better than everyone else, it's just about having the assurance to be able to be yourself. So it seems a little ironic to suggest pretending to be more comfortable in your skin. But there's something to be said for the cliche, "fake it until you make it." Sometimes going with the motions actually makes you feel them.

Ideally, you want to learn to develop confidence long-term, because it's a useful trait that gives you the ability to try new things, take risks, and accomplish lofty goals. But we all have off days, and for those days, these tips can come in handy.
Illustration by Sam Woolley.

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How to Fake Being More Confident When You're Just Not Feeling It

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Confidence can be an enviable quality. Being completely assured of yourself and your abilities gives you the courage to take risks and accomplish great things. But confidence doesn't always come easy, and it can come and go depending on your mood. The good news: you can fake it pretty easily.

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1) How can you fake confidence until you believe it?
2)

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This article explains how to help improve your confidence.

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1) How to Feel Good When You Need to

Because self confidence and feeling good has a major 'hormonal' element, you can change the way you feel by re-living good times. If you can remember a time you felt really self confident, then excellent - use that! If not, then use a time you felt contented or happy. Taking deliberate control of your thoughts and emotions will have an huge impact on your self confidence and other areas of your life.

2) Beating Self Consciousness, Confidence Enemy No.1

Although useful for learning about the impact you have on others, too much self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. The trick is keeping your attention off yourself when you need to. Here's how...

a) When you feel self-conscious, (you can usually tell because you start to feel anxious), choose something outside of yourself to focus on and study it in detail. For example: examine a door, look at the different textures and shades of colour, wonder about who made it and how and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how to keep your attention off yourself.

It is a good idea to practise this technique in private first. Just sit quietly, practising focusing firstly on your own thoughts and then deliberately focusing outwards onto a picture or piece of furniture.

b) Social self confidence can be difficult to find sometimes because it is unclear what you are 'supposed to do'. In this event, concentrate on what your purpose in the situation is. Whether you're there to:

find out if you like the other people present

make others feel comfortable

find out some information

make business contacts

and so on...

It's much more difficult to feel self-conscious if your mind is occupied with a task.

People are often most comfortable with others when working towards a common goal. The common goal of socialising could be making friends, the exchange of mutually beneficial information, expanding your knowledge of different types of people... it could be whatever you want it to be! The key is to have an aim. (Related: Social Skills Article)

3) Watch Out for Undue Criticism - Especially Your Own!

Have you noticed that people will speak to themselves in a way they would never speak to others? You know the sort of thing - you break a glass and it's " You stupid idiot. You can't do anything right can you?"

Criticism that leaves the receiver feeling upset or depressed is rarely useful.

Challenging your own assumptions about yourself and other people can really help build self confidence. Here's a few to get you started:

Regular confidence boosts can make all the difference

Click here to get regular confidence boosts in your email, hand crafted by our co-founder Mark Tyrrell.

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Because self confidence and feeling good has a major 'hormonal' element, you can change the way you feel by re-living good times. If you can remember a time you felt really self confident, then excellent - use that! If not, then use a time you felt contented or happy.

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https://www.self.com/story/10-ways-to-fake-confidence-until-you-actually-believe-it

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1) How do chin pick posture tell about how confidence are your way of thinking?
2) Does making eye contact or not have anything to do with nervous?

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http://time.com/3131130/fake-confidence/

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1. How would you act ,think, and talk to yourself if you have fake confidence?
2. What kind of questions would you come up with to show that you have fake confidence?
3. What would a person say if someone was to judge their confidence?

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1.How important is it to know how much you need to fake confidence?
2. How much of a factor does your self-esteem play in faking confidence?
3.Would it affect you if someone was to try to batter your fake confidence?
4. If you can turn this into a skill wouldn't it be considered that you are confident?

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The writer says that you should just own your success, surround yourself with positive people who only encourage you to do better and find a sense of humor.

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Are you holding yourself back because of low confidence? Do you spend a lot of time "in your head" worrying, regretting, putting yourself down, and wishing things were different? Do you stop yourself from taking advantage of opportunities and reaching the success of which you know you are capable? Without confidence, you will never venture out of your comfort zone.

When you have a healthy level of confidence, you can be your best you. Confidence is a belief in your ability to succeed - a belief that stimulates action. Self-esteem refers to your opinion of yourself, how well you value yourself, and the power you allow yourself to have. Everything you think and say and do affects your confidence and self-esteem. The good news is that you have control over what you think, say and do.

Some of my favorite tips for increasing confidence include:
Start taking action.
The Nike SWOOSH invites action with the slogan, "Just Do It!" It doesn't need to be perfect. Just Do It! When you take action, you achieve successes that build more confidence which encourages you to achieve even more successes! When I was working on my Ph.D., Dr. Pat Heim told me that the "D" stands for "Done." I decided to get it "Done" and developed a mantra of "Focus & Finish." Don't let being perfect get in the way of being good.

Own your success.

Women need to take a page from the men's playbook and own their success. When men accomplish great things, they are usually able to take credit for it without hesitating. When women accomplish great things, they often say they got "lucky" or "it wasn't very difficult to begin with." Men often recognize the benefits of confidence and start to practice it early on. In fact, many men value confidence as much as competence.
Monitor your self-talk.
We are born with only two fears: fear of falling and fear of loud noises. All other fears are developed during our lifetime. Let's get rid of those manufactured fears! The great actor John Wayne once said, "Courage is being afraid but saddling up anyway." Another favorite quote is from Wayne Gretzky, the great Canadian ice hockey player, "You miss every shot you don't take." Unfortunately, most of your self-talk (77%) is negative. When you hear yourself using negative self-talk, consider saying, "Thanks for your input, but I'm not interested!" Another suggestion is to wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when your self-talk turns negative.
Stay away from "Hoover People" (named for the vacuum).
Hoover people vacuum positivity, confidence and self-esteem out of everyone they contact. If you have a Hoover person among your closest friends, move her out of your group. Keep only positive, supportive people on your Personal Board of Directors. Remember Eleanor Roosevelt's words, "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."
Go ahead and fake it!
Use your body language to increase your confidence and self-esteem. Harvard professor Amy Cuddy's research shows the power of your body language on others - and on YOU! All it takes is 2 minutes to change your thoughts by moving your body. When you stand or sit confidently, you have an open stance, shoulders back, chin up, and good eye contact with your audience. If you do this for 2 minutes, you will become more confident. Smiling for 2 minutes makes you happier, even holding a pen sideways in your teeth can make you happier, more confident. People who feign confidence and self-esteem begin feeling better about themselves with this simple strategy.
Find your sense of humor.
Laughing is like internal jogging, increasing your confidence and self-esteem. Some days you're the bug; other days you're the windshield. Some days you're the statue; other days you're the pigeon. Laughing increases endorphins which are 200 times more powerful than morphine.
Develop your attitude of gratitude.
When you realize how much people have done for you or how much you have accomplished, you feel more confident. It is not happy people who are grateful; it's grateful people who are happy.

Leaders at NASA and Facebook realize that confidence is the key to success. Even high performers like rocket scientists need a boost sometimes, so their leaders consciously instill confidence and encouragement into the corporate culture. The slogan at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab is "Dare Mighty Things". Posters at Facebook headquarters read, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

Today is your time. Just Do It!
Dr. Susan Murphy is a best-selling author, coach and speaker who specializes in relationships, conflict, leadership and goal-achievement. Dr. Murphy co-authored In the Company of Women. She can be reached at susan@drsusanmurphy.com and Business Consultants.

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7 Tips To Gain The Confidence You Need To Succeed

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When you have a healthy level of confidence, you can be your best you. Confidence is a belief in your ability to succeed - a belief that stimulates action. Self-esteem refers to your opinion of yourself, how well you value yourself, and the power you allow yourself to have.

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This article tells how people who seemed more confident in groups, for example a math study group they seem better at math. But really everyone in the study group is at the same level

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Who emerges as a leader? Why do some people have greater influence over others, such as between friends or co-workers of equal standing?

According to what we call status-enhancement theory, people gain influence by acting dominant and confident. Doing so gives others the impression that you're a competent person. One study tested the effect of dominance on perceived competence-and how a person's true level of competence factors into how others see them.

This study assigned participants to teams of four who had never met each other before, and had them work together to solve a series of mathematical reasoning problems. The task required everyone to discuss the problems before deciding on final answers, with the incentive that the team answering the most problems correctly would receive a cash prize.

The researchers measured each person's dominance level through a questionnaire and their behavior during the session. Before the session began, everybody rated how dominant their own personality was, in general, in terms of how assertive and forceful they perceived themselves to be. The problem-solving session followed. Afterward, a group of observers watched a recording of the session and counted the number of dominant/confident behaviors each person displayed, such as being the first to propose an answer.

When the problem-solving session was over, team members also judged each other's mathematical abilities, and a new set of observers made the same judgments based on the recording of that session.

The critical finding was that peers and observers judged the more dominant members to be more mathematically competent, regardless of whether the answers they gave were correct or incorrect. In other words, confident people were no more likely than others to give correct answers, but their dominant personality and assertive behavior gave the impression to everyone that they were better at math. As a result, they exerted more influence in group discussions; the rest of the group gave their answers greater weight when deciding on the final answers.

Further studies have shown that even when researchers give a group explicit feedback that a person's answers were wrong, this did little to reduce the perceived skill of a confident person.
So why was self-confidence more important than their accuracy when others judged them?
For some reason, we are mesmerized when people express themselves with absolute conviction. We'll often overlook inaccuracies, omissions, and flaws in reasoning, as though their conviction temporarily distracts us from the substance of what they're saying.

Needless to say, this way of communicating is the bread and butter of salespeople, politicians, and other presumed experts who tout products, ideas, and themselves. Supreme belief in your product is the foundation of successful sales.

Maybe extreme confidence naturally captivates us because many of the things we care about don't have clear-cut right or wrong answers like math problems do. Instead, self-confident speakers provide us with inspiration. They give voice to our own views. They reassure about the future and entertain us with their opinions and vague predictions. Political speeches and sales pitches are most successful when they achieve all these ends.

This kind of influence is not inherently bad. As long as we're aware of the hypnotic potential of self-confidence, it should serve as a warning for us to take an extra moment to separate what someone is saying from how they are saying it.

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'Fake It Till You Make It' Turns Out to Be a Good Strategy

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Who emerges as a leader? Why do some people have greater influence over others, such as between friends or co-workers of equal standing? According to what we call status-enhancement theory , people gain influence by acting dominant and confident. Doing so gives others the impression that you're a competent person.

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http://www.wikihow.com/Fake-Confidence

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1. What elements of confidence show that you're confident?
2. Do you have to be charismatic to look confident?
3. What words should you avoid that'll make you sound like you don't know what you're talking about?
4.

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1. Does telling yourself that you're going to do good actually make you do good?
2. How does one lie to their self for a positive reaction?
3.Do you think you could lie to yourself to make confidence out of nothing?

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The author states that changing you're outlook on failure and observing confident people can help boost your confidence.

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Sometimes you feel like you're in over your head. Perhaps you got a big promotion or are leading a new, high-profile initiative but you worry that you don't have the right skills or experience to succeed. Are there strategies you can use to jolt your confidence? How do you "fake it 'til you make it"? And are there risks to that approach?

What the Experts Say
Feeling anxious about a new professional challenge is natural. In fact, imposter syndrome - the creeping fear that others will discover you aren't as smart, capable, or creative as they think you are - is a lot more common than you might guess. Most people feel like a fraud from time to time, and "many of us never completely shed those fears - we work them out as they come," says Amy J.C. Cuddy, a professor at Harvard Business School and the author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. The key to doing that, she says, is "to trick yourself out of the state of self-doubt." Faking it 'til you make it is not about pretending to have skills you don't, she adds. It's "about pretending to yourself that you're confident" so you can work hard and get the job done. So, for starters, "let up [on] the self-flagellation." Often, the root of the insecurity involves your personal leadership style, says Herminia Ibarra, a professor at INSEAD and the author of Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader. Your task is to figure out "how you come across as credible, how you convey your competency to others, and how you communicate your ideas in an authentic way." Here are some ways to go about it.

Frame it as an opportunity
The more you focus on what's scary about the new team you're leading or the project you're steering, the more intimidated you'll feel. Instead, "frame the challenge not as a threat but as an opportunity to do something new and different," says Cuddy. "Don't think, 'Oh no, I feel anxious.' Think, 'This is exciting.' That makes it easier to get in there and engage." Remind yourself that the professional challenge you've been asked to take on is probably "not categorically different" from what you've done before. "It's just a little different. [So] you need to scale up."

Think incrementally
If you approach a new position or responsibility with the goal of "killing it right off the bat, you're setting yourself up for failure," says Cuddy. Rather than setting a grandiose objective, she suggests making " small, incremental improvements" in your performance. Think of these steps as "the opposite of a New Year's resolution," she says. For instance, you might say to yourself, "In today's meeting, I'm going to make sure everyone on the team feels heard." Or, "At this networking session, I am going to make two new connections." A growing body of research supports this approach, notes Ibarra. "Goals are a moving target," she says, requiring constant setting and resetting.

Watch and learn
When you're developing your personal management style, you should observe how others lead, according to Ibarra. One role model will not suffice; "you need a panoply of them," she says. "It's helpful to be exposed to many different styles." Watch how these people influence others, use humor, and come across as charismatic and self-assured. Also take note of their verbal tactics - when they use silence, how they pose questions, and how they intervene. "Pay attention and then try to emulate [what they're doing]," she says. "You can borrow bits and pieces and tailor them to you."

Be bold in your body language
One surefire way to come across as self-confident when you're feeling insecure is to use "body language that makes you feel bold and victorious," says Cuddy. Your aim is to make "yourself feel more powerful psychologically." Take long strides. Sit up straight. Walk with your chest held high. And don't slouch. When you "carry yourself in a way that conveys power, poise, and healthy pride," you feel more self-assured and others perceive you that way. "You feel less guarded, more optimistic, more focused on goals, and more likely to take a stand," she says.

Heed red flags
If you're so overwhelmed that every day nearly brings on a panic attack, faking it may be inadvisable. The goal is to "step outside of your comfort zone," Ibarra says, not to set yourself up for failure or a breakdown. Cuddy agrees: "When you are in serious fight-or-flight mode, it's very hard to get yourself out of it; it's like a death spiral." So if you have deep-seated concerns that the challenge you're being presented with is too much too soon, or is unrealistic given the time frame and resources at your disposal, it's important to speak up.
Principles to Remember Do:

Create goals based on making small, incremental improvements in your performance.

Jolt your confidence with bold and expansive body language.

Observe how your role models comport themselves in various professional situations. Seek ways to incorporate their strategies and tactics into your leadership repertoire.

Don't:

Beat yourself up for feeling like an imposter - feeling nervous about a professional challenge is natural.

Be overly daunted or scared by the challenge at hand. Consider it an opportunity to do something new and different.

Fake confidence if you have legitimate concerns that the challenge you're being asked to take on is not feasible. If it's too much, say so.

Case Study #1: Focus on the opportunity and set small, achievable goals
Alex Mohler admits that when he first started as director of client services at Crubiq, a B2B sales company based in Raleigh, North Carolina, he felt like a fish out of water. Most of his prior experience was in the frozen dessert industry. "Crubiq sells to tech and analytics platforms," he says. "Coming from the ice cream world, I didn't know a lot about this."

But he didn't let his nerves get to him. "I had to be willing to go into the unknown and embrace it," he says. "I looked at my new job as an opportunity to learn about an exciting, cutting-edge technology, and that was very motivating for me."

He reminded himself that Crubiq represented a new business for him, and he had a proven track record in sales. He needed to have faith in his abilities. "I was still selling a product and selling a concept to people," he says.

Alex says he's learned the importance of sometimes thinking small. At Crubiq he and his team members each make a daily list of three things they want to accomplish. For example, Alex recently took on a new client in an unfamiliar industry, so one of his goals was to spend two hours doing research on the sector. Another of his goals to improve his Excel skills. To accomplish it, he set a goal of completing three sections of Excel Everest, a training program, each week.

"When you're working on something as daunting and overwhelming as creating a brand and starting a company, it helps to be able to look back at those lists, check off boxes, and have a sense of accomplishment," Alex says.

Case Study #2: Emulate successful role models and exhibit strong body language
When Radhika Duggal took over as a director in the marketing division at CommonBond, the student lending service based in New York, she "panicked a little."

Although she had experience leading a team, this felt different. "I was inheriting a team of four people - all of whom had been at CommonBond for some time," she explains. "They knew the business, whereas I had to learn it."

To rev her confidence, she reminded herself that she had applicable skills and expertise. Before CommonBond, she had worked at Pfizer and Deloitte. "Because of my time as a consultant, I understood processes and I knew how to get work done," she says. She also had directly relevant experience from doing social media and email marketing in previous jobs.

She reflected on past bosses and role models who struck her as particularly confident, and then created a working list of the leadership skills she wanted to emulate. "I once worked with a creative, talented manager who knew how to work a room," she recalls. "But he told me he was not very well organized, he was not a detail person, and that's where he needed my help." His candor and willingness to admit his faults were eye-opening to Radhika. She now tries to be as open and honest with her direct reports.

Radhika also understands that her body language has a direct effect on her job performance. She works hard at coming across as authoritative. "I want my presence to be bigger than it is," she says. "I pay attention to standing up straight, using hand gestures, and using intonation in my voice to engage people. I notice that it has a big impact on the dynamic and energy in the room."

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How to Fake It When You're Not Feeling Confident

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Sometimes you feel like you're in over your head. Perhaps you got a big promotion or are leading a new, high-profile initiative but you worry that you don't have the right skills or experience to succeed. Are there strategies you can use to jolt your confidence?

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ow does showing confidence and not showing confidence look like ?

Does showing confidence make you a better person then the one who isn't showing confidence?

To what extent does confidence make you as a person?

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1.Does confidence have the essence of lying at some point?Why?
2.During faking your confidence, does it helps developed your audiences' trust?
3. How does a one to one conversation differ to a group conversation when the speakers fake their confidence?

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1. Does having confidence making you a intelligent person?
2. Does faking confidence develop your work ethic and character as a person?
3. Do you think faking your confidence is an accomplishment?

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1. What is the difference between faking confidence and lying

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1: do other people know when you fake it?
2: how does that impact your confidence?
3: do you compare yourself to others?

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1. Why is finding  a sense of humor important when developing confidence?
2. How can positivity be helpful in gaining confidence?
3. Why is owning your success important for gaining confidence?

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This article explains how we fake confidence in certain situations such as a business setting.

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We fake it in meetings. We fake it over email. We fake it when we're envious of someone else's success. We fake it in the elevator when we ask Kyle if he has any weekend plans. The professional world's a stage, and we're all actors pretending to care about how Kyle spends his free time.

The question is: How much do the roles in which you cast yourself differ from who you actually are? Because if they differ a lot, you're going to cause more problems for yourself than if you'd just behave authentically. But if they differ just a little -- if you can fake it in a way that tempers your real feelings and allows you to present yourself as calm or deliberate or enthusiastic or charged up or any other situationally virtuous behavior (SVB, as no one but me refers to it) -- then you are giving yourself time to let the negative feelings pass. And they will pass.

A few words on self-presentation

You think that's you going to work? Heading into a meeting with a client? That's not you. That's you, plus your self-presentation tactics.

Self-presentation is the behavior and information we offer to others, almost always so that we can show ourselves in a favorable light. It's how we shake a hand, smile, make eye contact. It's the information we provide -- and don't provide. Self-presentation involves "tactics." And those tactics often involve fakery: We smile when we're not happy; we act interested when we're bored; we stay awake when we'd like to crawl up on the table in the conference room and go to sleep. To be quite honest, we lie.

But there is honor in those lies. Because you're trying. You're trying to overcome your annoyance or insecurity or fear for the sake of a larger goal.

But enough about such lofty things. Let's get to the tactics.

How to fake confidence at a meeting

Research shows that the key to faking is to do it early, when impressions are being made. To that end, let's have a remedial course in body language.

You might not feel like you should smile, but you should smile. (More on that later.) You might not want to maintain eye contact, but you should lock in. What researchers call the "gaze" is key. You want a lot of gaze. You know the eye contact is working if you feel slightly uncomfortable. (Slight discomfort is underrated in business.) You might not want to sit up straight, but sit up straight. You'll seem assertive, social, in control. Basically, you want to act like a news anchor. National news -- not local.

Also: Raise your eyebrows every now and then. The eyebrows don't get enough credit when it comes to body language. Draw some circles with a couple of dots for eyes. Draw some lines above the eyes and see how the expression changes.

How to seem happy for someone when you're not

Seeming happy when you aren't is a useful tool. Sometimes you're blindsided by news that might be good for the company but disappointing to you. A colleague is promoted, for instance. Sometimes you have to seem gracious. The key to seeming happy goes beyond faking a smile.

They key is digging deep. You have a lot of resentment and envy to get through before you get to the good stuff. This requires real acting, says Sean Kavanagh, CEO of The Ariel Group, an international training and coaching company that puts acting techniques to work. I'll let Sean have the stage. Take it away, Sean.

"To be a really good actor, you have to authentically take on the role. So it's more than just pretending." [Polite applause. From me at least.] "Before they go on, actors will do breathing techniques that keep the breath deep into the diaphragm and not up in the shoulders. It makes them focus, it allows them to speak more clearly and it relaxes them." [Even more polite applause.]

"The next thing they do is they focus on their intention. What does this audience need of me? What do my fellow actors need of me? What is my intention as I walk on stage?" [From the wings I shout: "The audience is your associate! The stage is probably your associate's office or something!"]

"The allegory for the meeting is, How can I empathize with them? How can I walk in the shoes of the audience and bring the appropriate part of me to bear? The third thing they consider is: What is the purpose behind this soliloquy I'm about deliver?" [The soliloquy is your words of congratulations!]

"Now you know what your purpose is, and you can deliver news that might feel uncomfortable to you with a level of confidence, warning, inspiration, support or whatever it is you need to convey." [Bravo, Sean. Bravo.]

How to 'can' when you 'can't even'

There are times when you can't (like at a networking event or celebrating somebody's success). And then there are times when you can't even. If you can't even, and you need to seem like you can, here's what you should do. Fix your eyes, which will want to roll involuntarily, upon an object. Any object will do. Just make sure the object is at eye level or below. Raise the corners of your mouth so that instead of exhibiting dumbfoundedness, you seem ... founded.

Now it seems like you merely can't. If you close your mouth, which opened when your jaw dropped, it might even seem like you can. Up to you.

How to smile when you do not feel like smiling

The main thing to remember is: Unhappy smiling is worse than not smiling at all. People who smile when they're not actually happy look like county-level pageant contestants. So think of something that makes you happy. Embroidery? Archery? Origami? Whatever. Consider the point of all this, which is to do good work. And doing good requires pushing through the things that make you want to scream so that your authentic reaction doesn't create even more problems-for you and a lot of other people.

Anyway, what are your weekend plans?!

When faking goes too far

A Michigan State University professor studied a group of bus drivers, whose jobs require them to be polite to commuters. The research found that bus drivers who faked a good mood with only a smile, or "surface acting," ended up in a worse mood and with diminished productivity. However, those who faked happiness by smiling and thinking positive thoughts, or "deep acting," found themselves in a better mood with increased productivity.

So, if you want to seem happy, get happy. Real happy.

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How to Convincingly Fake Confidence, Happiness and Other Necessary Feelings in the Workplace

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We fake it in meetings. We fake it over email. We fake it when we're envious of someone else's success. We fake it in the elevator when we ask Kyle if he has any weekend plans. The professional world's a stage, and we're all actors pretending to care about how Kyle spends his free time.

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What does confidence mean to you?              When was a time in your life you were NOT confident? What caused that to happen?

Are you good at something? Does that make you feel confident? Explain.

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hi

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1. How can observing confident people help your own.

2. How does changing your outlook on failure affect your confidence

3. How does improving your body language affect your confidence

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1. Why is being able to fake confidence a good skill from a job perspective
2. How often in life should we fake confidence when we're nervous and in what situation

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I think that faking confidence can lead to a boost in real confidence after seeing how being confident can positively affect your speeches.

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Faking confidence will benefit many people because many of the people have no types of confidence, they're always scared to come out of the shell

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I learned that confidence takes practice and does not come to a person naturally. After we talked in the circle i came to realize that people often fake confidence rather than actually feel confident.

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Faking confidence..shows confidence in a way

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I learned that confidence is something that you gain from experience and that you learn to achieve from watching others. Specifically those who are good at talking in front of others.

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In order to be confident you will need to be able to find a sense of humor. Faking confidence is and lying are not the same thing. Faking confidence is more body language  while lying is verbal.

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what i grabbed from friday was that cocky people talk like they're confident but the ones who are confident actually show it

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What I learned from the discussion group on Friday was that faking confidence is confidence. For example, you have to believe in yourself when your about to fake your confidence giving a presentation or speech. This shows that if you believe in yourself to be able to fake the confidence, you are already confident because you have to be confident to believe in yourself.

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Faking confidence is a way to boost your actual confidence in a somewhat naive way. ;)

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I think the difference between fake confidence and lying is that when you're faking confidence

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Many thing came to my mind but I couldn't answer any of the following questions because it doesn't relate to the the question that is being ask. Although I couldn't say much, my team actually have many good points that are brought, especially faking your confidence against lying.(The best that was brought up.)

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I learned that though faking confidence is helpful in a lot of ways there are times it's not helpful. Over faking confidence can be seen as arrogant but not faking it is confidence,

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I learn people who are confident don't mind being wrong but they try unlike fake confident who goes head on saying they got it all but really they need some kind of help.

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i learned that everyone fakes confidence.

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I realized that faking confidence can lead to improving ones actual confidence.

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In relation to what the lady on twitter had said, confidence is something that is built. You look at those around you and steal bits and pieces of their attitudes and interactions until you find your own that you like. You make yourself confident, you arent immediately born with it

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In relation about confidence, is that you have to build the confidence yourself. You cant look for other opportunities if you dont have confidence. Building it up will benefit yourself into having better social ability and a better lifestyle.

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Just like in the reflection if you do something you will get better at it, so to fake confidence or do things outside of your comfort zone will build you in whatever area that may be.
Nut to build in a certain area you have to have the will and the mindset that you are that type of person and that you can continue to be.

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You just have to tell yourself you can do it, you can be the person you want to be. It may take some time to get there but you will get there eventually. Telling yourself you can be the person you want to be is the same as faking confidence.

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To connect to the lady's response, confidence is an idea. Once you put that idea in your mind and protect it, you begin to become the idea that you protect because day by day the idea becomes more and more real as you cherish it and fight through all the things that drag you down. Like the lady's response, "It doesn't happen overnight, and no it's not easy."

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This connects back to what was said because its all of the sense  in practicing until you are that way you want to be. If you want to be confident you practice new things/ways into being a confident person. You can't achieve being something if you don't take let yourself be it.

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In my opinion i think it was about how you shouldn't doubt your self and that you shouldnt't be heistating to do things you may not of known you could've done. And also you should be very confident in what you do in your everyday life.

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Just like I said that if you fake confidence you will build real confidence, Maggie, the author of the responsestates that your actions make who you are. If you do confident things, even if you're faking it, you will see yourself as a confident person and so will others.

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As the lady says people become confidence in what they act and grow into it. I can said that my reflection can relate because people who try to be what they plan on will later better at it and become that.

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To connect the twitter comment to my reflection is that in order to gain confidence you must force yourself to do confident things in a sense.  The more you reach out and do things that shouts "i'm confident" you will just blossom into a confident butterfly.

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In relation to the lady response to the text and the text itself, it described the way you are change not just by what you think but also the way u believe in your confidence.

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To connect to the author, He/She said " Let's image you're are afraid to hang-glide because you think of yourself as a cowardly person."

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you have to believe in yourself before getting cocky

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In relation to what the author said, i agree that you are defined by your actions. By doing something confident, despite not being confident (faking it), you  are seen as confident by others, and in turn yourself.

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Mirroring what the woman said on twitter is only you can define who you are. You don't have to long to be someone you want because you can be whatever you want. You have the power to change whatever you want about yourself and nothing is ever a permanent thing.

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To connect to the lady's Twitter response. She explains that if you want to be something or try something new, don't be wistful and just go try it. This leads to faking confidence as well because you if you try new things, it shows how confident you are, even if you were faking it. It shows that you tried

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Faking confidence can help you built confidence , you might fake confidence cause maybe your scared or nervous or something and you just need to get comfortable and you won't be faking confidence.

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Faking confidence can be a good thing and could help many. You might be taking a risk you usually wouldn't take and turn out for the better.

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if you think of yourself as a confident brave person then eventually youll be confident , its like it builds up until you dont even care. The author here told us we can tell others storys of brave things we've done and that helps boost our confidence cause other people lokk at us as a brave person.

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beaning  brave is when you do something stupid and think outside the box, i know a lot of people are going to disagree with me but i guess everyone have different ideals

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Reflecting off of the twitter post and my reflection I realized that maybe faking your confidence for to long you won't get to know the true you.