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This piece signifies the El Duende process that I successfully completed during the first half of my internship experience, which proved to be quite enlightening. I believe it holds significant importance as the catalyst for the creative inquiry project I am undertaking during Capstone B. This exploration has provided me with the opportunity to engage with various concepts and to cultivate a sense of curiosity about the subject matter. On a quest to explore and understand my self-concept, this piece initially began as a means to grant myself the creative freedom to thoroughly break down the various barriers of beliefs I hold about myself. It is an opportunity to deeply reflect on my identity and, in doing so, truly take charge of defining how I choose to live my life and the kind of person I aspire to become

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At the end of each week of internship, a small creature was sculpted to represent the events of the week and my internal headspace throughout. Though they vary wildly in shape, they have many similar characteristics to one another, namely their fleshy coloration and facial expressions.

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I went into this watercolor painting with the intent to create a visual description of what my imposter syndrome feels like. It was a type of artwork that I went into without a full vision of the end product. Each time I added to my piece, it was influenced by how my week had gone prior to painting it. I believe that I could eventually add more to it if I wanted to, but for now it is finished. This painting was done on a 24” x 36” watercolor canvas with only watercolors.

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This sculptural ceramic piece is strongly connected to the artist’s experiences with eating disorders, general and personal. The artist presents this piece to her audience as what self-acceptance and letting go of the negative looks like to her. The two feminine figures are the same being at two different times in their life, yet they will always reside in each other. The larger figure is holding the smaller figure is a comforting way to represent how the present self is accepting all her past and is not embarrassed by it. This piece relates to my internship because I work in the eating disorder population with adolescents who are relearning how to love and accept their bodies as their health is rising. The piece is 2.75 x 2 x 3.15 (L x W x H) inches in size.

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In many ways, this piece represents the culmination of my learning at Southwestern. In process and product, this deck has become both a means for integration and a container for my transformation. Each image is representative of a different Part of myself, as viewed from an Internal Family Systems lens. There are Parts that hold Self energy, that are connected and attuned; there are Parts that Protect me, that manage and firefight, and there are Parts that were once Exiled, that hold pain and past hurt. This project was a process of getting to deeply know all of these Parts– of being with, honoring and sending gratefulness to each and every one.To make each card I first engaged in IFS meditations and then made small sketches and journaled after the meditations as a way to clarify Parts that were otherwise enmeshed or previously unknown. Next, I went through every artwork I made over my three-year graduate program and photographed images that spoke to specific Parts. Using digital collage in Procreate, I created images that contain pieces and/or ideas inspired by my artistic output while at SWC in addition to digital drawings and modifications.

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This piece was made in accordance with the El Duende method, slowly emerging over the course of my Practicum without any planning or foresight. The Fox, Wolf and Crow have shown up throughout my time at Southwestern and appear here as three pillars of Self energy. Themes of deep listening, work around lineage, the cycles of life, death and rebirth and breaking cycles of intergenerational trauma all are present in this painting.

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I chose to engage in another El Duende painting to reflect on my journey through Internship. As I navigated the space between fluidity and rigidity, flexibility and the desire for control, my painting began to shift from more horizontal and desperate, floating elements to softer, more connected and inviting elements. Themes of grief, loss, endings, new beginnings, mourning and rest are prominent in this piece.

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Portraying the ways i've felt pulled, dichotomy/ In the middle, holding little me/ the storm gods guides us to serenity

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This piece represents the layers, changes, and transformations during internship one. It is a resting place for the soul to reflect and ponder the time efforts and work it takes to get to where one is at during this time.

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Finding My Center and Pulling it All Together

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This painting was created as part of my journey through grief after the loss of my close friend, who was also a passionate artist. It represents the transformation I underwent during the eight weeks following his sudden death, right at the start of my El Duende process.Just a week before my friend passed, I painted the blue-green winding shape, which I now believe emerged to guide me through what I didn’t know was yet to come. The central black circle symbolizes the deep void I felt for myself and for the community this impacted. The red and white flames reflect the painful yet transformative nature of mourning. These flames embody the intensity of loss but also the potential for healing and renewal that can arise from grief. The two white dog figures on either side stoop over two red shapes, representing my own dogs as protectors of the deep wounds that will always remain within those of us who were impacted by the loss of our friend.This painting honors our shared creative journey, capturing our connection and transcending our physical separation. Without this experience, I would not have known the power of processing grief through art. When there were no words, the paint held space for me.

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I have spent the bulk of my internship working with justice-involved individuals within a jail setting, and it has been a wonderful growing and learning opportunity. Working in a carceral setting has been my goal since I entered this field, and my internship only affirmed that this is the right fit for me. It has required a lot of introspection - I have a lot of strong opinions on the way our justice system works, and being a part of that sometimes feels challenging. My biggest takeaway, however, is that no matter who my client is or what they have done, they deserve to have someone not give up on them. To enter this space where, in many ways, they have been given up on, and have often given up on themselves, and to talk to them like they can make change if they desire it is, at the end of the day, at least a little bit of good.

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Flow Beyond is oracle card 5 of 5 from my capstone project series, embodying the essence of flow and balance. The bell-shaped flower represents the challenges of great change and the discomfort that comes with growth. This need for flow is significant in my internship journey, as it has enabled me to introduce flow to the addiction population clients I have worked with and to honor my personal and professional growth. The hummingbird symbolizes rebirth, prosperity, and transformation, while the merkabas highlight the importance of balance, discernment, and discipline. The vibrant blue hues evoke the ever-present water, reminding us to flow with life's currents. Each card in this series captures the vibrant interconnectedness of life, emphasizing the need for surrender in the journey of self-discovery.

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Divine Flow Portal is oracle card 4 of 5 from my capstone series, embodying the essence of flow and balance. The azalea flower symbolizes the importance of self-care, enabling you to better serve and love those around you. The inchworm represents the path of progress, reminding us that change occurs naturally over time. My work with addiction populations during my internship has allowed me to guide individuals toward recovery and self-discovery, honoring their unique journeys and recognizing that small steps create a consistent path of progress. The vibrant blue colors evoke the ever-present water, urging us to flow with life’s currents, even when we encounter air bubbles. The eye symbolizes the choice to believe in the goodness and completeness of things. Overall, this card represents the understanding that the highest good is always happening and highlights the importance of aligning with life’s process, embracing the body’s intuition, feelings, and emotions.

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Every Divine Diamond is a piece from my 2018 series, The Crystalline Structure of Life, a printmaking series that celebrates unity, wholeness, and the interconnectedness of life. Through the use of crystal structures, eyes, flowers, symbolism, animals, and color, this series creates a visual connection that fosters love, unity, change, and ascension. The process of crystallization reflects growth, paralleling my own journey, especially as I complete my internship. This relief print features individual pink and blue ink rolls, with the colors and composition symbolizing the balance needed within ourselves and the Earth, honoring the journey of StarSeeds.

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Inspired by my time spent on the Nambe Pueblo. I have deep gratitude and appreciation for the community, the land, the experiences, and of course the buffalo.

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Representational of healing generational trauma. Creating a safe place for everyone to belong and have purpose. Rewriting previous narratives to allow for love, space, connection, meaning, belonging, forgiveness, compassion, and healing

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Through this art piece, I explored my role as a therapist through the metaphors of windows, mirrors, and doors to capture the essence of the therapeutic journey. These elements represent different aspects of healing and personal growth, reflecting both my experiences and the experiences of those I work with.Windows symbolizes the moments in therapy when we gain insight into another person’s life or experience. They allow us to see beyond our perspective and connect with the stories and emotions of others. In therapy, windows are opportunities for empathy and understanding, helping us to build bridges between different experiences and foster deeper connections.Mirrors represent the moments of self-reflection and self-awareness that are integral to the therapeutic process and my role as therapist. When we look into a mirror, we are confronted with our own image—our strengths, vulnerabilities, and the parts of ourselves we may not always want to see. Therapy often acts as a mirror, encouraging individuals to reflect on their own lives, behaviors, and patterns, and to gain a clearer understanding of who they are. Being present to my own mirrors helps me navigate transference and countertransference and humbly address cultural competency.Doors symbolize the potential for change and growth in therapy. They represent the choice to move forward into new experiences, to embrace transformation, and step into the unknown. In the therapeutic context, doors are moments of decision-making and action, where clients are empowered to make changes in their lives, overcome challenges, and pursue personal growth. As I complete my educational journey, new doors are opening for me and I am called to step forward with love and grace.By framing the therapeutic process through the lens of windows, mirrors, and doors, I aim to create a space where individuals can explore their inner world, connect with others, and take steps toward meaningful change. These metaphors guide my practice and remind me of the dynamic and evolving nature of healing, encouraging both self-awareness and the courage to grow.

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This painting is a reflection of changing emotions and experiences during the first half of internship. Each week a new element was added. As opposed to outlined expectations, there was faith in the process. It took on a mind of its own. A painting I could never have planned. A path I could never foresee. Much like life, as well as my internship. Some elements are reflections of past memories, some are new wonderings, and others are spontaneous mysteries yet to know.

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This painting is a reflection of what I would consider my "dark night of the soul." It was made for part one of capstone. The painting was an ambitious task with choosing such a large canvas, having never painted clouds, and just a day to start and finish. I feel this piece relates to my internship and time at Southwestern as a whole. The program's intention of personal transformation has been present for me in every season. Thought it wasn't easy, it was worth it. Truly.

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This is my first one canvas painting for the Professional Identity Development Class Spring Semester where each week I painted on the same canvas to process my internship experience and to support personal resourcing. When I look at the mountain, moon and trees in the background I think about how the future is hopeful, misty, a bit eerie, reflecting the nervous apprehension I had about my ability as an art therapy intern and future in the field as someone with debilitating migraines. Throughout the weeks I visually represented the resources and small stepping stones I could tend to in the moment rather than over-worry about the future. Here in the painting I represent my resources of my mindfulness practices in nature, the textures, rocks, trees, the beauty of this work and the magic of it all grounding and supporting me. I like that the piece is nebulous and starry because I can imagine different made-up constellations within the painting and create personal meaning from them. I also thought about constellations reflecting client work and collective patterns. When I turn the piece vertically I see a person in the foreground representing myself navigating these undefined, sometimes tumultuous and beautiful waters. In the background I see a multi-headed monster representing personal and collective self-doubt, negative self-talk, and trauma warping self-perception. The "me" constellation is mobilizing my own and my clients' personal resources and strengths, supporting the channeling of their creative inner wisdom, and movement towards grappling with the personal and systemic hurt. I am realizing the more I heal and tend to myself, the better I can show up for my clients and their processes.

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Here is an example of some of the "constellations" I am seeing in my one-canvas-painting. I used a white brush on my iPhone application called Sketchbook to draw the imagined figures I see in the painting. On the bottom left is the "me" and the top right is the personal and collective monster. What constellations do you see?

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This is the second installment of the one-canvas-painting for the Professional Identity Development Class Summer Semester. Unlike the first one-canvas-painting, I wanted to make the background bright and vibrant to illuminate the hope I wanted to continue to embrace about my physical condition and my growth as an art therapy intern. Again, I focused on resourcing and found that the river represents my growth as an individual, a clinician, and my professional identity. The bright light source and rainbows in the piece represent my love for this work, a spiritual sort of energy radiating from my heart. My goal this quarter was to find my grounding, centering, a balance of process and product, to access more ease and flow within client sessions. With ease I think came more confidence, being more grounded while attending to complex mixed emotions, and being quicker when adjusting my approach to the clients’ shifting of needs. This painting shows my inner landscape, a self-sustaining ecosystem of the many ways in which I resource myself to move through new challenges.

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This project took shape over many months. After a colleague gifted me an old leather secretarial chair, I began to imagine my future life as a practicing therapist after leaving school. I began painting the wood along the chair months ago, and have continued to add to it week after week. Every time I pick up paint for another project, the leftover media gets applied to the structure. Some of these have several layers of paint applied, and some of the colors have been completely painted over. In its own way, it became an El Duende project in and of itself.

This piece is directly tied (and will always be) to my memories of internship and beginning my practice. I look forward to continuing to practice out of this chair, and I plan to bring it with me to future workspaces.

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This project took shape over many months. After a colleague gifted me an old leather secretarial chair, I began to imagine my future life as a practicing therapist after leaving school. I began painting the wood along the chair months ago, and have continued to add to it week after week. Every time I pick up paint for another project, the leftover media gets applied to the structure. Some of these have several layers of paint applied, and some of the colors have been completely painted over. In its own way, it became an El Duende project in and of itself.

This piece is directly tied (and will always be) to my memories of internship and beginning my practice. I look forward to continuing to practice out of this chair, and I plan to bring it with me to future workspaces.

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This project took shape over many months. After a colleague gifted me an old leather secretarial chair, I began to imagine my future life as a practicing therapist after leaving school. I began painting the wood along the chair months ago, and have continued to add to it week after week. Every time I pick up paint for another project, the leftover media gets applied to the structure. Some of these have several layers of paint applied, and some of the colors have been completely painted over. In its own way, it became an El Duende project in and of itself.

This piece is directly tied (and will always be) to my memories of internship and beginning my practice. I look forward to continuing to practice out of this chair, and I plan to bring it with me to future workspaces.

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This is an art based family genogram that I created in my Family Art Therapy class this winter. Exploring my lineage and ancestral patterns has helped me to have a better understanding of my family as a whole and also of my internalized ingrained beliefs about myself and others. This examination is also helping me to have greater empathy for my family as I begin to see more of my own strengths and shadows in them.

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This is the culmination of my El Duende project in Internship 1. Ravens have become a recurrent figure in my artwork since moving to Santa Fe. I am drawn to the large, loud and mysterious creatures and have chosen to use them as a surrogate image of my self. In this image the raven is red and represents my shadow self. I have been investigating my shadows as well as my lighter characteristics as I have been moving through internship.

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I made a series of clay masks and objects for my El Duende Part 2 Internship artwork. I was thinking a lot about the masks that I want to shed as I work through my unmasking process regarding my own neurodivergence. I have found that for the best work to be done in therapy, it is incredibly important to let the clients see my authentic self. Many of my clients speak about the masks they wear that they take off when they come to the intimate space that we share together once a week. Sometimes clients will infer, not always using this language, that they have a mask on because a triggering subject has arisen in therapy. Each week I made a mask thinking of the feeling I was left with after a client session or sessions and my intention was for each mask to express a different emotion.

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"THEY are the Journey," my Capstone A process art, addresses the process of building a community with my fellow SWC cohorts as distance learners, the nourishment of friendships, personal identity exploration, the “golden thread” in therapy, and going with the flow when circumstances are beyond my control. Experimentation and play with myriad materials was fundamental to my process. I wanted to see what was possible when choosing the journey instead of the destination. This SWC journey has shown me how I belong, not how to “fit in.”

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"Grief in Process" captures the final image of my 2-month personal art therapy process with my art therapist following the unexpected death of my mother (also an artist) on January 14th, 2024. After suffering catastrophic complications from a "routine" heart surgery on December 7th, 2023, my mother never returned home from the hospital. I spent the gap between Practicum and Internship in excruciating mental and emotional limbo and uncertainty. This was punctuated by laying in my mom's hospital bed holding her as she passed away.Navigating my new reality while tending therapy clients has taken an immense toll; however, prioritizing an art therapy process around my grief provided me a safe container to express my anger, guilt, and sadness.I layered condolence cards as the foundation and wrote a Bruce Moon inspired quote in acrylic paint pen: "Creative activity does not banish pain or discomfort: rather, it honors experiences that are DIFFICULT. Art making does not rid us of our difficulties; but enables us to live courageously in their presence." I then applied vellum printed images of my mother in the hospital (the really hard pictures to look at). Each time I revisited the canvas with my therapist, I added layers of acrylic paint with my hands, fingers, and various texture making tools. I cried, I screamed, I undulated and rocked my body while painting, and I worked with the density of my loss.While art making did not rid me of my difficulties, the therapeutic art making process allowed me to experience the fullness of myself in ways that supported my presence with clients. This process was a real time lesson in the importance of prioritizing art making and a personal art therapy practice as an art therapy practitioner.I extend my gratitude to my SWC friends and classmates who have supported me through my grief. I am so grateful for you! I also want to thank SWC faculty member, Rob Belgrod, for his immense compassion and his flexibility while my mom was in the hospital. Additionally, I thank SWC faculty member, Jennifer Albright Knash, for her support while I've been navigating loss and grief along side the challenging complexities of my internship process.

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A passage can be defined as "the act or process of moving through, under, over, or past something on the way from one place to another." This painting reflects a journey and remains incomplete. While the journey of the painting itself began in internship, the parts represent past personal/collective histories and narratives that will continue to grow and transpire along side with the new. Inspired by Lorca and el duende, the painting process is a call to evoke or capture a spirit as it appears in a moment, defined by the movement of all parts of the journey.

For example, the single human form was pulled from an earlier assignment inspired by the archetype the altruist from the Hero Within by Carol S. Pearson. The figure represents the constant give and take, push and pull of the universe. The altruist reminds us to be conscious of sacrifice as we choose certain doors or paths in life, we tend to close others. Awareness of sacrifice is essential for the altruist to prevent burn out and resentment. The altruist must also be aware of where fullness comes from in order to maintain the constant giving and recieving. The painting, while capturing spirit worked to call forward different memories through materials, colors, and shapes. In honoring this movement different mediums and processes were used throughout.

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Earth Angel was the El Duende piece I worked on throughout the second half of my internship. At my internship sites, I am working with children, adolescents, families, and adults who have experienced trauma, grief, and mental health disorders. The intentions I had throughout engaging in this piece were trust, surrender, and nurturance. Working on the El Duende process each week felt like I was returning home to myself through my intuition and heart space, which allowed me to recenter. Throughout the process, I returned to my grounding and spiritual practices that had fallen away since starting my internship. Reengaging with these practices allowed me to gain somatic awareness and show up more intentionally for myself, which has expanded into my work with my clients. From this process, I have rediscovered what nurtures me. When I look at this image, it acts as a reminder for me to be present with my heart and intuition, as it will help me remain centered and guide me toward the best ways to support my clients.

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My intention for my capstone project was to explore self-nurturance to help prevent burnout as a clinician working with children, adolescents, families, and adults who are navigating trauma, grief, and mental health disorders. The self-inquiry I engaged in included free association writing and an intuitive art process based on the practice of guided drawing. I engaged in these practices before and after my self-care. I chose self-care practices based on my somatic and energetic needs, which I found were often related to taking care of my physical needs. By caring for my physical needs, I also met my emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. In my drawings, I noticed how approaching the materials and seeing the outcomes of the drawings portrayed what I was experiencing internally. The images I created gave me direction on how to care for and nurture myself. Reflecting on my internship experience while engaging in my capstone project, I am reminded of the hierarchy of needs and the importance of creating a solid foundation to be present with my clients by caring for myself. Throughout the process, I found it helped me release the guilt and judgment I often feel when prioritizing my needs. However, as I have poured into myself, I have shown up more intentionally and have more energy to pour into my clients.

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Grimoires have historically been texts used as instructions for spells or creating magic objects. My process with this altered book was informed by my experience with using different art directives at my internship sites. I used the pages to track myself throughout the weeks and honor minute pieces of my journey. I used Playboy and Penthouse magazines to challenge the boundaries of acceptability and to represent the transgressive power of art in the therapeutic space.

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Grimoires have historically been texts used as instructions for spells or creating magic objects. My process with this altered book was informed by my experience with using different art directives at my internship sites. I used the pages to track myself throughout the weeks and honor minute pieces of my journey. I used Playboy and Penthouse magazines to challenge the boundaries of acceptability and to represent the transgressive power of art in the therapeutic space.

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Grimoires have historically been texts used as instructions for spells or creating magic objects. My process with this altered book was informed by my experience with using different art directives at my internship sites. I used the pages to track myself throughout the weeks and honor minute pieces of my journey. I used Playboy and Penthouse magazines to challenge the boundaries of acceptability and to represent the transgressive power of art in the therapeutic space.

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“My mandalas were cryptograms concerning the state of the self which was presented to me anew each day…I guarded them like precious pearls….It became increasingly plain to me that the mandala is the center. It is the exponent of all paths. It is the path to the center, to individuation." - Carl Jung, Memories, Dreams, and Reflections