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Advice for parents and carers of primary school pupils | Talking mental health primary school | Anna Freud Centre

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This leaflet which was created alongside the Talking Mental Health Animation & Toolkit features an introduction from our Patron, Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge who supported the You're never too young to talk mental health campaign

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On this page you can listen to a series of mental wellbeing audio guides to help you boost your mood.

You can listen to them privately, in your own time, to help you through feelings such as anxiety or a low mood.

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Listen to a series of mental wellbeing audio guides to help you through feelings such as anxiety or a low mood.

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Place2Be Parenting Smart Articles and Videos

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Place2Be Parenting Smart Articles and Videos

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Practical tips to support children’s wellbeing and behaviour

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Parenting Smart offers practical advice for parents and carers of children aged 5-11. All of our content is created by Place2Be's parenting experts. It's based on evidence and their experiences working with children, young people and their families.

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Kooth - An anonymous site which helps children and young people to feel safe and confident in exploring their concerns and seeking professional support.

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Kooth - An anonymous site which helps children and young people to feel safe and confident in exploring their concerns and seeking professional support.

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Kooth is your online mental wellbeing community. Access free, safe and anonymous

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Coping with Traumatic Events - Tips for parents to help children cope with traumatic events

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Coping with Traumatic Events - Tips for parents to help children cope with traumatic events

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Taken from NHS Website:

Tips for parents to help children cope with traumatic events

·       Have a talking time to hear thoughts and feelings your child wants to share. Understand your child’s perspective to correct false beliefs. Don’t force. Follow your child’s cues.

·       Explain in a direct, age-appropriate way what happened and answer questions honestly. Avoid unnecessary or disturbing details. Assure reasonably that you will be there to care for your child.

·       Be prepared to discuss difficult subjects raised by your child. Look for cues indicating their need to be reassured, to better understand, or to talk about some details and feelings repeatedly. It’s OK to say there are things we don’t know.

·       Be aware that you and your child may be in different places in the way you are each dealing with the traumatic event. For example, you may reach a stage of anger or acceptance, while your child remains in a state of grief and sorrow.

·       Correct clearly and directly any false assumptions your child may have about a death, such as guilt or magical thinking that his/her thoughts or actions caused it.

·       Be prepared to deal with the topic of death whenever your child brings it up, reassuring your child over a long period of time.

·       Do not let your child watch disturbing pictures on television or the Internet. Minimize trauma exposure. Spend time with your child away from television and media.

·       Reestablish your child’s daily routines—especially bedtime.

·       Family religious or spiritual beliefs can be integrated into thoughts, discussions, and ways of finding meaning and coping with trauma.

·       Let your child write a letter, draw, or in some way express sympathy for those grieving. Older children may find comfort in writing their thoughts and feelings. Teenagers often benefit from guided peer support, or engaging in life-affirming activities.

·       Expect your child to show an increased need for physical contact and an increased fear that something will happen to you or other loved ones. Expect more ‘childish’ behavior, sadness, clinging, anger, or playfulness.

·       Grief reactions are normal, but if your child continues to experience severe distress or has difficulty with normal functioning, seek help from professional resources in your school or community. Source: Adapted from Raundalen & Dyregrov (2004).

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Grief Langauge Feelings Funerals Pet Death Support From Nursery Or School Support For Yourself When To Get More Support Grief It can help for your child to learn about anger. You can support them do this.

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Supporting Children's Mental Health talk by Dr Ledward

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Supporting Children's Mental Health talk by Dr Ledward

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Information from Dr Ledward.
Please click on the link to see a video of Dr Ledward exploring mental health and how to support your child as a parent.

The aim of the talk is to provide you with some strategies and tips of how to help your child.

Mental health is the way children think and feel about themselves and the world around them. Your child’s mental health is just as important as their physical health, particularly when it comes to dealing with stress, behaviour, and their school life.

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Top Tips Emotions Managing Our Emotions The Traps We Fall Into Advice

Top Tips

There are lots of ways you can support your child's mental wellbeing.

Listen

It's good to ask how your child is doing whether you are worried about them or not. This will help them get used to talking about their feelings and they will know that you are there to listen if they ever want you to.

Starting a conversation with your child can be tricky.
Read more about starting conversations
Stay involved

It's good to show an interest in your child's life and the things that are important to them. It will help them to value who they are and it will also help you to spot any problems so you can offer support if needed.

Take what they say seriously

Listen and value what your child tells you and try not to judge their feelings. Think about how to help your child work through their emotions.

If your child is worried you might find this support guide helpful.

Support them through difficulties

Pay attention to your child's behaviour and emotions and try to help them work through any difficulties. You might be able to help them to understand what they are feeling and why.

It can be hard to know how to offer support when faced with challenging behaviour. There is lots of helpful guidance available.

Encourage their interests

Support and encourage your child to explore their interests, whatever they are.

Being active or creative, learning new things and being part of a team can really help children's mental health.

Build positive routines

A good nights sleep is really important so try to get your child into a routine which fits in with school or college. It's not always easy, but try to introduce structure around regular routines, healthy eating and exercise.
Read more about sleep for older children

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mental health supporting children anger depression emotions emotional gp advice guidance support young people talking mistakes things to say parents carers help how anxious anxiety daughter son

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Top Tips Emotions Managing Our Emotions The Traps We Fall Into Advice Top Tips There are lots of ways you can support your child's mental wellbeing. Listen It's good to ask how your child is doing whether you are worried about them or not.

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Talking Mental Health leaflet for Parents

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Daily Dragonfly: short videos for busy parents wanting to know how to support their child's mental health and wellbeing

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Daily Dragonfly: short videos for busy parents wanting to know how to support their child's mental health and wellbeing

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Short videos for busy parents wanting to know how to support their child's mental health and wellbeing

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What you eat is as important for your mental health as it is for your physical health. Saint Augustine is famously paraphrased as saying, 'You are what you eat'.

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Place2Be Children's Mental Health Week Tips for Parents and Carers

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Place2Be Children's Mental Health Week Tips for Parents and Carers

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Parent Top Tips - Children Mental Health Week 2023

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NHS Link: Self-help for low mood and depression

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NHS Link: Self-help for low mood and depression

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Follow this link to try some practical recommendations by the NHS to help deal with low mood and depression.

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NHS Link: A Relaxing technique to help cope with anxiety 

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NHS Link: A Relaxing technique to help cope with anxiety 

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Follow this link to try a technique recommended by the NHS to cope with anxiety.

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BBC Mental Health and Well-being Activities to try! 

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BBC Mental Health and Well-being Activities to try! 

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Some more guides on things you can do to help make a positive change to your mental health.

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Guide: 5 Ways to better wellbeing for your family 

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Guide: 5 Ways to better wellbeing for your family 

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Children's Mental Health - Every Mind Matters

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Children's Mental Health - Every Mind Matters

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There are times when we all feel the strain. As parents and carers, there are ways we can support children and young people to give them the best chance to stay mentally healthy.

https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/supporting-others/childrens-mental-health/

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Children’s mental health - Every Mind Matters

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See tips and advice for parents and carers on how to support children and young people’s mental wellbeing, and give them the best chance to stay healthy.

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Health and Wellbeing Apps for Young People

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Health and Wellbeing Apps for Young People

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These resources are apps that can support young people's health and wellbeing

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Mindfulness and Wellbeing Toolkit for Parents

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Mindfulness and Wellbeing Toolkit for Parents

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Ideas and resources to help you support your child's mental wellbeing and help them to consider their emotions throughout the day.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/z4b3sk7

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Family wellbeing - BBC Parents' Toolkit - BBC Bitesize

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Wellbeing tips for parents to help you support a healthy, happy childhood - with advice on food, sleep, mindfulness, as well as ways to look after you and your child's mental health.

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Anxiety is something everyone experiences at times, and feeling anxious is a perfectly natural reaction to some situations.

But sometimes feelings of anxiety can be constant, overwhelming or out of proportion to the situation and this can affect your daily life.

The good news is there are plenty of things you can try to help cope with anxiety. There's lots of tips and guidance on this page, as well as the NHS anxiety-easing email programme for practical advice straight to your inbox.

https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-health-issues/anxiety/?WT.mc_id=Anxiety&gclid=Cj0KCQjwnP-ZBhDiARIsAH3FSRczBewzR4cd-g37vUhWly2xdFFlBWiqxbjCzVhwdHi9XeKYqTEZ7w4aAskCEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

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Anxiety can affect our mind, body and behaviour, for instance we might feel tearful, get stress headaches, or start avoiding things or people that trigger anxiety.

Common symptoms of anxiety include:

feeling tired, restless or irritable

feeling shaky or trembly, dizzy or sweating more

being unable to concentrate or make decisions

trouble sleeping

worrying about the past or future, or thinking something bad will happen

headaches, tummy aches or muscle pain

dry mouth

pins and needles

noticing your heartbeat gets stronger, faster or irregular, or you get short of breath when you start feeling anxious

If you cannot tell if shortness of breath is from ​​anxiety or if you are worried about any other symptoms, see a GP.

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Find out about common causes and symptoms of anxiety. Plus get tips on dealing with anxiety and a personalised plan of self-care tips tailored to you.

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A group of some of the UK's biggest nature, environment and mental health organisations has launched a campaign to help people connect with nature and boost their wellbeing.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/52213688

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The charities involved include the RSPB, the Wildlife Trusts, National Trust, the Wilderness Foundation, Nature Friendly Farming Network, The Climate Coalition, Mental Health Collective.

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Mental Health: How does nature help YOUR wellbeing?

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Charities that support the natural world have got some suggestions for how getting outside can help our mental health right now - so tell us what you like to do?

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How to Talk to Your Child about Mental Health 

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How to Talk to Your Child about Mental Health 

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Talking to your child about how they’re feeling can be hard. You might feel like you don’t know where to start or when a ‘good time’ to talk is.

By taking 20 minutes to do an activity you both enjoy, you can create a relaxed space for getting the conversation started. Here, we’ve got lots of activity ideas, conversation starters and advice for making talking easier.

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-mental-health/

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Giving our children and young people opportunities to open up is one of the biggest things we can do as parents and carers to support their wellbeing. It can be easy to forget the simple power of sharing what we're going through and feeling heard. But even though you can't fix everything when your child is struggling, you can make them feel seen and understood - and this in itself can make them feel more able to cope.

Talking about how they are, how their day has been and what's on their mind as part of everyday family life shows your child that you're interested in them and want to listen. It also supports them to practise thinking and talking about their feelings, helping them to get to know themselves and what they need.

But talking isn't always easy. You might feel like you don't know where to start, when a 'good time' is, or how your young person will react. Or, you might be worried about making things worse or saying the wrong thing. If this is the case, try to remember that your child doesn't need you to always get it right - they just need to know you're there.

Here, you can find lots of ideas, conversation starters and advice for making talking easier.

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How to Talk to Your Child about Mental Health

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Read our advice on how you can talk to your child about mental health and encourage them to talk about their feelings.

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Old or young, there are so many reasons why you should ensure that you and your family are getting enough good quality sleep each night.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zn8y3j6

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Michael Mosley: Five tips for helping your kids sleep well

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Dr Michael Mosley follows studies into sleep science and offers advice on improving health and concentration through better sleep. He has this exclusive advice for parents to help their kids sleep.

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Keep Your Head brings together reliable information on mental health and wellbeing for children, young people and adults across Cambridgeshire & Peterborough.

https://www.keep-your-head.com/

Kooth offers advice to families and individuals.

https://www.kooth.com/

Youngminds - offering support and advice to young people.

https://youngminds.org.uk/

Minded is an online tool that helps people plan their life journey, choose the right career and prepare for the workplace.

https://minded.org

Childline - offers a number of free online games and resources

https://www.childline.org.uk/toolbox/games/

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Free Websites and Apps to support with Mindfulness and Keeping Active

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Free Websites and Apps to support with Mindfulness and Keeping Active

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Sleep Meditation for kids is a free app it is a superb high quality children's meditation app by leading yoga teacher and Montessori teacher Christiane Kerr. Created for children of all ages.

FOCUS on the go is a free app. The app aims to teach resilience – a key part of mental wellbeing – to every member of the family. It helps your child develop five essential skills: problem-solving, goal-setting, communication, emotional regulation, and managing trauma and stress.

Breathe, think, do with Sesame Street is a free app for children aged two to five it helps them to become more aware of their own emotions. Breathe, Think, Do features your child’s favourite Sesame Street characters to help teach them skills such as problem-solving, self-control, planning and perseverance.

Powerme is a free app which aims to teach children coping mechanisms that they can put into practise in everyday life, through a series of bitesize videos.

Each day, your child can choose how they’re feeling by selecting the most relevant rabbit emoji, from a range including angry, bored, stressed, tired, silly and weird. Powerme will then present them with a series of videos that aim to address their current state of mind.

The Worrinots app is £1.29 a month or £9.99 for the year.

The Worrinots are four friendly monsters who help your child deal with their worries. If there’s something on their mind, they tap the ‘what’s up?’ bubble, and are invited to choose one of the monsters to help them.They can then type or speak their problem, click on how it makes them feel – sad, worried, scared or angry – and tap to make the fear disappear.

Smiling Minds - Short audio sessions to help with mindfulness

https://www.smilingmind.com.au/smiling-mind-app

You Tube - Cosmic Kids Yoga - This helps mindfulness and relaxation

https://www.youtube.com/user/CosmicKidsYoga

You Tube - Go Noodle - Hundreds of "brainercise" dancing, strength and mindfulness videos, as well as videos just for fun.

https://www.youtube.com/user/gonoodlegames/featured

Newsround - Keeping children up to date with the world around them creating opportunities ti talk about the news with children

https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/44074706

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Explore Newsround’s reports and guides relating to mental health and how we feel.

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Recognising the signs that a child may be struggling with their mental health can be really hard. The NSPCC provide advice to help you support children who may be experiencing depression, anxiety, suicidal feelings or self-harm.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/childrens-mental-health/

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Mental Health Support: Advice for Your Child

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Mental Health Support: Advice for Your Child

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We know parenting isn’t always easy. Although it’s often amazing and rewarding to watch your children grow up, and to help them learn to be independent, it can also be really hard work. It can feel especially hard if your child's mood and behaviour seem different and you're not sure why, or what you can do to help. But you are not alone.
Follow this link for lots of practical advice and tips on supporting your child - from how to encourage your child to open up about their feelings to dealing with mental health services.

No matter what you and your child are going through, things can get better.

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/

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It's okay to reach out for help. Your situation is unique and no parent has all the answers. We all need a little extra support sometimes, and we hear from parents and carers just like you all the time.

So, if you're worried about the mental health and wellbeing of a child or young person up to the age of 25, you can chat to us by phone, email or webchat.

Our Parents Helpline is also accessible for those who are hard of hearing or speak English as an additional language. If English is not your first or preferred language, we can arrange for a language translator to support you on a call with one of our helpline advisers. Or if you would like to use our webchat or email service, we offer a digital translation service.

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Parents Mental Health Support | Advice for Your Child

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Practical tips, advice and where you can get help if your child or teenager is struggling with their mood, feelings, or their behaviour seems different.

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Place2Be: How to support your child's mental health

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Place2Be: How to support your child's mental health

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As parents and carers you play an important role in teaching children and young people how to understand and manage their feelings as they grow up.

https://www.place2be.org.uk/our-services/parents-and-carers/supporting-your-child-s-mental-health/

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How to support your child’s mental health – Place2Be

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Place2Be works with schools to help parents support their child’s mental health and improve their emotional wellbeing.

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The Children and Family Wellbeing Service provide early help services to a child, young person or family, where they are experiencing difficulties that cannot be supported by universal services, such as schools or GPs alone.

They provide support to those who have, or still are, suffering from domestic abuse or with their mental health and wellbeing, or need some extra help with SEND, parenting or supporting targeted young people, including those who are at risk of crime.

https://www.leicestershire.gov.uk/sites/default/files/styles/large_1170x450/public/CFWS%20jigsaw%20house%20centered%20hero%20image.png?itok=x_rfexjr&timestamp=1626881860

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What to do when you’re concerned about your child's mental health

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zy3yf82?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=mental-health

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According to charity The Mental Health Foundation, mental health problems affect around one in six children and include things like depression, anxiety and conduct disorder (a type of behavioural problem). The charity says eating disorders and self-harm also commonly occur in children.
A Parents' Toolkit opinion poll, commissioned in partnership with parenting website Netmums, revealed that nearly 1 in 3 parents have noticed a deterioration in their child's mental health over the 6 months before being polled and while 50% of parents would ask a health practitioner/teacher or other qualified expert for help - of the respondents who said their child has experienced challenges with their mental health - 37% said " I have experienced barriers in seeking help for my mental health issue in my child.

How you can support your child's mental health

1. What to do when you're concerned about your child's mental health

You may have noticed changes in your child - changes of mood, altered sleeping patterns, withdrawal from family life and/or friendship groups. These could be signs that they're experiencing anxiety or other issues around their mental health.

If you're concerned about your child's mental health, you can speak to their school or GP. The GP may refer your child to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS), which provides specialist care from psychologists, psychiatrists, nurses and social workers. Between 2020-2021 the average wait for mental health services in England was more than two months.

Here are some things you can do whilst you and your child are waiting to access these services.

- Keep speaking to your GP

Your GP will be able to regularly listen to your child, discuss your own concerns and suggest local services that may be of help. Don't be afraid of going back to your GP if you feel you need more support and advice.

- Speak to your child's school

Arrange to meet the pastoral team at your child's school, or encourage your child to seek out and speak to them. They might be able to help make school easier or less pressured for your child.

- Look into local services

Local charities can be a good source of support. Search online for nearby support groups and charities. Alternatively, national mental health charity Chasing the Stigma runs the ' Hub of Hope ' website, which allows you to search easily for local mental health charities.

- Try and stay healthy

Where possible, try and encourage your child (and your whole family) to eat healthily, get some exercise and a good night's sleep. If they're having trouble sleeping, gentle activities like reading, walking or drawing and art may help them to relax.

2. What to do in a mental health emergency

According to the NHS, a mental health emergency is when your child feels like they may seriously harm themselves or someone else, they feel suicidal or are in extreme distress. There are different services you can access, depending on the severity of the situation. They are listed below from less severe to the most severe scenario.

If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone, they can call Childline on 0800 1111. Or they can text YM to 85258 for free 24/7 support. You can also call the YoungMinds parents helpline.

Call a local NHS urgent mental health line

These helplines in England are free and can offer 24-hour advice and support for your child. You can speak to a mental health professional about your child and get an assessment to help decide on the best course of care. In Scotland NHS24 has links to services, while people in Wales can access these helplines and in Northern Ireland there is Lifeline. To find one local to you, type 'local urgent mental health' into your search engine.

If you cannot speak to your local NHS urgent mental health helpline or you're unsure what to do, call 111. This number is for when you urgently need help for your child's mental health, but it isn't an emergency. You may be able to ask for an emergency appointment or speak to a mental health nurse over the phone.

If your child or someone else's life is at risk, call 999. For example, if they've taken an overdose or seriously injured themselves, or if you don't feel you can keep yourself, your child or someone else safe.

This is really important. The NHS website states: "A mental health emergency should be taken as seriously as a physical one. You will not be wasting anyone's time."

3. General tips for helping your child through a mental health crisis

Try to remain calm and positive with your child. Remember to be kind to yourself too - if you do lose your patience, apologise to your child and forgive yourself. Every child is different so you'll need to tailor your actions depending on the age of your child and their particular circumstances.

Keep everyday routines going where possible. Be realistic about what you can achieve. Talk to your child and agree with them about how best to let the important people in your child's life know what is happening with them.

Keep it simple, a day at a time in manageable steps, so today is better than yesterday. Focus on what helps and avoid what doesn't. Try and stick to the plan, making sensible changes as you go along. Make a plan for emergencies too, so that you all know what to do if it's needed.

It's important to listen to your child, rather than necessarily offering advice. Follow your child's lead and encourage them to share so that they know you really understand. Speaking less and listening more helps you understand how your child feels, and helps them know you realise what they're going through.

Take care of your own wellbeing so that you can be there for your child, especially when everyone is having a hard time. Talk to other adults about your worries and frustrations, but try not to overshare with your kids.

For more advice on looking after your family's mental health, there are some useful tips in this series of animations Families Under Pressure, developed by King's College London, South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust and The Maudsley Charity.

There are other helplines, textlines and online services available that you and your child can look at together:
This article was published in October 2021

More from BBC Bitesize Parents' Toolkit...

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Mental health first aid kit for parents: Who to ask and what to do

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If your child needs help with their mental health, here are some tips from our parents' mental health first aid kit to help you access professional help and support your child.

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We all need good mental health and wellbeing – it's essential to living happy and healthy lives, and can help us sleep better, feel better, do the things we want to do and have more positive relationships. It can also help us deal with difficult times in the future.

Try Mind's quick Mind Plan quiz to get personalised suggestions now, or find other tips, advice and support to help boost your mental wellbeing.

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