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Autobiography and connection to the Metamorphosis

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Autobiography and connection to the Metamorphosis

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Franz Kafka's personal life experiences, inner struggles, and deep philosophical questions had an impact, on his novella "The Metamorphosis." Even though Kafka didn't aim for his writings to mirror his life story traces of his journey often seep into his literary creations.

In "The Metamorphosis " the main character Gregor Samsa experiences a metamorphosis into an insect. This peculiar change can be interpreted as symbolizing Kafka's sense of isolation and existential unease. Like Gregor Kafka grappled with feelings of detachment from society. Battled with defining his own identity. The depiction of Gregor's solitude and his family's responses to his transformation mirrors Kafka's feelings of estrangement and strained familial ties.

Moreover, Kafka’s contemplation on themes like the absurdity of existence the quest for meaning, in life, and the pursuit of independence are through "The Metamorphosis". Echo his ponderings. Kafka frequently delves into the nature of existence and the feeling of helplessness individuals face when confronted with impassive bureaucracies and societal conventions.

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by J. Stephens

The Metamorphosis is said to be one of Franz Kafka's best works of literature. It shows the difficulties of living in a modern society and the struggle for acceptance of others when in a time of need. In this novel Kafka directly reflects upon many of the negative aspects of his personal life, both mentally and physically. The relationship between Gregor and his father is in many ways similar to Franz and his father Herrman. The Metamorphosis also shows resemblance to some of Kafka's diary entries that depict him imagining his own extinction by dozens of elaborated methods. This paper will look into the text to show how this is a story about the author's personal life portrayed through his dream-like fantasies.

Franz Kafka grew up in a financially secure Jewish family in Prague. He spoke German and was neither a Czech nor German due to his Jewish upbringing. Born in 1883, he was the eldest child and the only son. He lived his life in the shadow of his dominating father under constant pressure to take over the family business. Kafka's father viewed Franz as a failure and disapproved of his writing because he wanted Franz to become a business man like him. This obsession with wanting Franz to become a businessman led Herrman to beat his son. Franz Kafka died on June 3, 1924 from tuberculosis of the larynx.

From the moment we meet Gregor Samsa's father we are shown how short tempered he is. He "came on, hissing like a wild man" when Gregor first exited his room in his new state as a bug. Gregor's father chased after him with a cane and newspaper making a hissing noise that annoyed Gregor. Just this passage here shows how alike Mr. Samsa and Herrman Kafka are. Kafka was subjected to abuse and constant yelling from his father because he was a failure in his eyes. When Samsa sees what has happened to Gregor he is immediately outraged, either out of confusion or disappointment towards his son. His father was retired and his sister was still young and not working. Gregor felt as if he had let down the family because he had provided for them up until this point where he could no longer work. He thought it would be very difficult for his family to be financially secure without him working.

When Franz Kafka was a boy his father abused him. Whenever Kafka disagreed with his father or told his father that he wanted to be a writer, not a shop owner, his father got very upset. In the book Mr. Samsa displayed a violent temper from the very first encounter with the transformed Gregor. When he chased Gregor back to his room, he kicked him in the back as he reached the door. Another event in which Gregor encountered violence from his father was when Mr. Samsa threw an apple at him and it lodged in his back. From this point on the physical and mental condition of Gregor steadily decreased. The apple began to rot away and he felt weaker and experienced more pain than usual. Gregor even lost his appetite. The feelings of seclusion and not being wanted entered Gregor's thoughts. He could tell that his sister did not care as much as she did when he first became a bug. These feelings could have been the same feelings of seclusion that Kafka felt in his own life after abuse from his father.

"The image of a wide pork butcher's knife, swiftly and with mechanical regularity chopping into me, shaving off razor-thin slices which fly about due to the speed of the work." This is one example of the many painful means of death that Kafka imagines and writes about in his diary. It may be that all the physical and emotional abuse Kafka suffered, in some way inspired him to write about his own extinction. The writings obtained from his diary were never intended to be seen by the public. These writings contained detailed descriptions of his own death that were very disturbing and grotesque.

In The Metamorphosis there are many signs of slow deterioration for Gregor. He gradually starts to lose his eye sight as he notices that he can not even see across the road to the hospital. He has numerous injuries, some of which he cannot explain, like the pain in his side when he first woke up. He had an apple lodged in his back which was left to rot. He was cut by a piece off glass from a shattering alcohol bottle, and was bleeding profusely when he tried to get into his room and got stuck in the door. It is obvious that all of these descriptions are painful and the whole basis of the novel revolves around a human being who is dyeing a slow, painful death. The Metamorphosis could be one of Kafka's imaginations of his own death that is carefully disguised and elaborated through literature.

The Samsa family is a middle class family much like the one Kafka grew up in. Rather than Gregor dying an immediate death, the story is of a long, slow death. Gregor's health decreases gradually throughout the book, but is unnoticeable to the other members of his family. Kafka may have chosen Gregor's death to take place over a long period of time to ease the pain of losing a loved one abruptly. If he had just died then it would have been a shock to his family members, but instead he started to become an inconvenience so that it was almost a relief to his family. It could be that with Kafka's low self esteem he thought of himself as being Gregor, who is also shunned by his father because he is disappointed in him.

Throughout The Metamorphosis, Kafka uses Gregor to make constant reference to the slamming doors in the background. Kafka lived with his parents most of his life even when he was able to support himself. They lived in a small apartment and Franz could not concentrate on writing because of the yelling, screaming and slamming of doors. Maybe Kafka makes reference to slamming doors, which seem to have no relevance to the story, because it happened so often during the times he was trying to write, it happened unknowingly.

When comparing Franz Kafka and his personal life to The Metamorphosis it is obvious in more ways than one that he was writing a twisted story of his life. The emotional and physical abuse Gregor goes through are similar to what Kafka went through in real life. They were both abused and neglected by their fathers when they were disappointed with them. Kafka uses Gregor transforming into a bug as a way of exaggerating himself, trying to express his feelings and point of view. When writing, Kafka felt as if he was trapped in his room which he referred to as "the noise headquarters of the apartment". Gregor was an exaggeration of this because he could not leave the house to escape the noises and abuse.

Revision: 2021/01/09 - 23:40 - © Mauro Nervi

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(SP:) Franz Kafka's personal life reflected in the Metamorphosis

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The Metamorphosis is said to be one of Franz Kafka's best works of literature. It shows the difficulties of living in a modern society and the struggle for acceptance of others when in a time of need. In this novel Kafka directly reflects upon many of the negative aspects of his personal life, both mentally and physically.

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When the narrative takes place is left ambiguous; however, as Kafka wrote the story around 1912 and published it in 1915, it is thought that the novella would have taken place around this time. the setting is the Samsa house where Gregor transforms into his insect form.

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"Walking on Eggshells" by Jane Isay delves into the dynamics of parent-adult-child relationships particularly focusing on the challenges and complexities that arise as parents navigate the balance of providing support while respecting their children's independence. Isay examines the aspects of communication, expectations and emotional boundaries offering insights and advice, for both parents and their adult children. Drawing from stories, expert interviews, and psychological studies the book presents an enlightening exploration of the often delicate bonds between parents and their grown-up kids providing suggestions, for nurturing healthier and more gratifying relationships.

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Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relations…

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Read 160 reviews from the world’s largest community for readers. On giving They Don’t Want It. They Don’t Hear It. They Resent It. Don’t Give It. We rai…

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The Family of Street Acrobats: the Injured Child and The Street Performers shows a mother with a "hurt" child. This shows though the mother looks as if she is doing her best to care for the child, there are others willing to judge. There are many ways to interpret this piece, in the image you can see a somewhat clown-like figure. That could be the father of the child trying his hardest to care for his family. Being a street performer at this time was not a sought-after job or one that was respected. the father willing to do anything to care for his child. This connects to Gregor's situation. it shows how even though in the novella Gregor is the caregiver, he still wishes to be taken care of, he never had that, and the rolls were reversed.

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Gustave Doré (1832-1883): Master of Imagination
Musée d'Orsay, Paris
February 18-May 11, 2014

National Gallery of Canada, Ottawa
June 13-September 14, 2014

Catalogue:
Doré: Master of Imagination.
Edited by Philippe Kaenel.
Paris: Flammarion, in association with the Musée d'Orsay and the National Gallery of Canada, 2014.
335 pp., 113 color illus.; 174 b&w illus. (some half-tones); bibliography; index.
€45.00; $60 Canada and United States
ISBN 978-2-089-131643-0

Although Gustave Doré is internationally recognized as one of the most creative illustrators of the nineteenth century, his work in other areas such as painting and sculpture has remained known only to specialists of the period. This problem has recently been extensively addressed in a detailed and elaborate thematic and monographic exhibition at the Musée d'Orsay in Paris, where much of the productive work of Doré is presented in a carefully developed exhibition that showcases the artist as a force of promethean abilities. The organizers of the exhibition, and the accompanying catalogue, have tried to reveal how the artist was driven to do many of his works. Doré emerges as an artist determined to succeed in all areas of creativity, to move beyond being seen as simply an illustrator of stories, through works in all media that often have personal links to his life, to the ways in which he was influenced by society, and to the effects of misery and melancholy that haunted the artist. The impact of this exhibition is electric. The exhibition engages the attention of the viewer, forcing her/him to confront the established myths of this artist by seeing him in a new imaginative way.

In the introductory sections of the show many themes were visually and contextually introduced that were maintained throughout the exhibition. Doré is seen as an outcast, as a figure excluded from the higher realms of creativity because of his reliance on illustration to make his living. His ability to depict performers or acrobats in a new way, however, conveys a strange disconcerting atmosphere (figs. 1, 2). The Family of Street Acrobats: the Injured Child and The Street Performers or The Injured Child, presented twice in the show (in two variants from 1873 and 1874, Denver Art Museum and Collection of the Musée d'art Roger-Quilliot, Clermont-Ferrand) is used by Doré to comment on the effects of misery and alienation on the performers and by implication, the artist (Doré was himself an accomplished acrobat). Even the drawing of Pierrot grimaçant (Pierrot Grimacing) (not dated, Musée d'Art Moderne et Contemporain, Strasbourg), while suggesting that Doré knew some works by Honoré Daumier, provides a decidedly original implication. A clown is not only an amusing individual, but this performer is both hurt and suffering. Within these early thematic sections Doré's painting of The Last Judgment (1879, Musée des beaux-arts, La Rochelle) stands out. Although created late in his career, it conveys that the fits of melancholy he suffered were reinforced through some religious paintings, done on a grand scale, whose black and white color scheme reinforced the dour, serious tone of the composition. Visions of hell and final judgment were factors that forced Doré onward in his creative endeavors.

One sector that was new in this exhibition was Doré as a sculptor. While he was never trained in this medium, the Exhibition Guide notes that Doré effortlessly acquired "a virtuosity on a par" with what he was doing as a painter. His new imagery began in 1877 with the large-scale Fate and Love (1877, Musée de Brou, Bourg-en-Bresse), which presents an unusual allegory of life, employing symbols of mortality such as an oversized hourglass. Here academic naturalism and allegorical symbolism are used to effect, but the work was severely chastised by the established art critic Jules-Antoine Castagnary who believed that Doré had no talent as a sculptor. Craving attention for his sculpture, he was bitterly upset and frustrated by this rejection, although he maintained his determination to succeed in other areas.

Another significant area presented early in the show was the way in which Doré saw religion as theatre. Whether it was the work that he exhibited in London (1867-68) at the Doré Gallery or his huge paintings, such as Christ Leaving the Praetorium, (1874-80, Musée des Beaux-Arts, Nantes) Doré's reputation as a "preacher painter" (which is carefully assessed in a catalogue essay by Philippe Kaenel) is noted (fig. 3). His paintings had power; they were dramatic and spectacular, becoming almost stage presentations in themselves. Importantly, his paintings inspired passion plays, tableaux vivants, and ultimately the early silent cinema. More than this, Doré's ability to work in all the areas of the arts simultaneously reveals that he was a true Renaissance man. One of the themes that was not addressed in the show, or the catalogue accompanying it, was the way in which this artist revitalized an established tradition and made it into something new, exciting and meaningful for many, not just a few elite patrons. This was one of the major achievements of this exhibition, although it was not discussed in the wall texts or in the catalogue.

As the exhibition continued, the visitor moved from the first to the fifth floor of the Musée d'Orsay where several posters showed visitors where to go (figs. 4, 5). Once inside the upper section, a large wall text helpfully explained how Doré's career evolved from caricature to landscape (fig. 6). Much attention rested on the way Doré began his career as a caricaturist working with periodicals (fig. 7). Some of his earliest works reflect his links with the orbit of the Parisian publisher, Charles Philipon, a personality noted for his support of incendiary lithographs that often attacked those in power. Some early sketchbooks, carefully situated in display cases, forced the visitor to look at the evolution of Doré's caricatures, and show his awareness of the work of Honoré Daumier and Cham (né Charles Amédée de Noé), with Daumier becoming a particularly staunch advocate of his work. By 1848 his contract with Philipon led to a series of significant images, and to his work in the production of book illustration-the area in which Doré's work was best known and where he made a considerable mark (fig. 8). Seen as a child prodigy, whose early illustrations were influenced by J. J. Grandville and Rodolphe Töpffer, this designation propelled his career forward. But it was his production of book illustrations for the works of Rabelais (1854) and Balzac (1855) that increased his visibility. The exhibition carefully reconstructed these illustrations, providing significant ways in which a viewer could see many images since they were projected in small light boxes in the exhibition itself (fig. 9); these images moved, suggesting the turning of a page in a book. The inclusion of posters, such as one for the availability of his Rabelais illustrations, demonstrated one of the most effective ways in which Doré's work was advertised and promoted, eventually spreading the fame of his illustrations beyond the borders of France. Considering the number of illustrations that Doré completed, this section of the exhibition required intense concentration on the part of a viewer combined with a close look at numerous works. Since the exhibition used a series of cases, it was possible to study these works intimately, although the crowds that often came to see the exhibition frequently made it very complicated to examine these prints without feeling pressure to accommodate others.

The headings for the wall texts clarified the thematic groupings in the exhibition, such as the section revealing Doré as a "Child Prodigy," or a "Popular Illustrator" (figs. 10, 11); the visitor always had a clear way to follow the evolution of his career without the fear of getting lost in a welter of images. In the section where his illustrations for Rabelais were presented, for example, the emphasis shifted to Doré's general "Creation of Book Illustration" with inventive ways of revealing how his career was improving (fig. 12). When Doré's work on "London and Shakespeare" was presented, a carefully developed wall text provided necessary information on what he was accomplishing, while letting a number of the images on the wall further tell the story (fig. 13). Doré's depiction of the poor of London, both through published book illustrations and a series of powerful drawings, reflected the sympathy he had for the dispossessed (fig. 14). His presentation of London: A Pilgrimage with text by Blanchard Jerrold (1872) provided the fulcrum around which a series of Doré's most moving images were installed.

As David Skilton's short text in the exhibition catalogue clearly expostulated, "Doré stands alongside Dickens in the imaginations of later ages as a supreme portraitist of the city; negatively, in that his images have been taken as virtually factual, photorealistic evidence reproduced on countless websites to represent Victorian London to today's audiences" (148). But Skilton goes further in analyzing these images, which did not simply illustrate the text by Jerrold, but were independent works that stand alone as works of art. Doré was simply "guided by Jerrold's words" as his images are linked to Jerrold's ". . . text only by the circumstances of its conception and publication" (148). While these ideas were not presented in the exhibition itself, the catalogue essay offers a visitor further insight into the ways in which Doré's nocturnal first-hand visits to disreputable sections of London provided him with the basis of portraying the city as a dangerous metropolis fraught with abject poverty.

After exploring Doré's London, the exhibition next examined Doré's interest in Spain. As the Exhibition Guide states, "unlike London, Spain is depicted as a wild and picturesque land." While not exactly the way in which Doré saw Spain, the pamphlet was useful for a quick overview; more effective was the wall text where it was noted that Doré's several trips to Spain allowed him to do paintings inspired by Cervantes's Don Quixote. Other works stressed the "nobility of Spanish beggars," especially visible in the Beggars at Burgos (1875, Private Collection), a very moving example of his creative power. Especially useful in this section was the placement of a wood block used by Doré for his illustrations to Don Quixote; once again, the way in which Doré actually worked helped a visitor visualize his achievement.

By the time a visitor reached the end of this part of the exhibition he/she had been bombarded by a rich panoply of images and ideas, many of which were chronologically simultaneous. Without moving directly into the other sections of the show, a brief respite was provided, including a chronology of Doré's life, along with his key moments of creativity, as well as a space where one could sit to study the chronology provided on the wall. This gave the contemplative viewer an opportunity to take stock of what had already been presented; it also gave the historical foundation for the remainder of Doré's career beginning with the fateful year of 1870 when he joined the National Guard during the conflagration with Prussia. The wall text notes that during 1871, at the moment of the Paris Commune, Doré was in Versailles where he did expressive drawings of a number of imprisoned communards. He also did a series of patriotic paintings and drawings. The success of London: A Pilgrimage (1872) added to Doré's fame, and gave rise to new book projects including The Rime of the Ancient Mariner (1875) which was unsuccessful. Its failure forced Doré to sell seventy-eight drawings at the Hôtel Drouot to cover the costs of this book. Providing the historical context for Doré is crucial for the next theme in the exhibition "The Terrible Year". It was here, as was the case with some of his drawings of poverty in London, that one was moved by the effectiveness of Doré's allegories of intense suffering.

Upon entering "The Terrible Year" the wall text, as well as the educational handout, reminded one that Doré was ". . . witness (to) many tragedies and episodes of ruin." Working from his field notes, Doré created the Black Eagle of Prussia (1871, Dahesh Museum of Art, New York), which keynotes the somber reality of the moment both through the dark tones of black and grey as well as by the foreboding allegory of Prussian dominance (fig. 15). The climate of war, reinforced by the canvas titled Enigma, (1871, Musée d'Orsay, Paris) created a mood of dire collapse and questioning (fig. 16). These large canvases, grouped together in one room, raised questions as to France's preparedness for the confrontation; the civil war that followed, which destroyed a good part of the city of Paris, was a somber reminder of what war brings. But it was the loss of Doré's native Alsace that dominated his reactions, further escalating the direct impact of the war on the artist. As was the case earlier in his career, Doré produced some of his most affecting works when he was personally involved. This is certainly true with the powerful drawing of The Bombardment of Paris, also known as The Siege of Paris (1870, Société industrielle de Mulhouse, on deposit at the Musée des Beaux-Arts, Mulhouse) where soldiers and family members, moving with a few of their possessions, try to leave Paris to find safety elsewhere. When Doré worked as a pure realist the effectiveness of his imagery was overwhelming.

With "Religion and Pathos," the following section in the show, the exhibition returned to a theme that was presented in the introductory area. This was an effective way to remind the viewer just how significant this type of artwork had been for Doré while moving toward recognizing that his monumental Holy Bible (published in 1866) was a decisive moment in his career. Strongly influenced by Ernest Renan's 1863 book, Life of Jesus, the artist continued to humanize Christ. Doré's study of the works of Rembrandt, an artist effectively revived during the nineteenth century, led to Christ as Man of Sorrows (1874, Musée Tavet-Delacour, Pontoise) and Neophyte (1869, Musée d'Art Moderne et Contemporain, Strasbourg) some of the most effective images in the exhibition (figs. 17, 18). Doré's merging of romantic allegory with an interest in Orientalism pushed him forward so that his paintings and drawings appear both sensitively developed and of the moment. He was determined not to let his approach grow stale as he continually challenged himself in new ways. Finding new ways to handle themes that were in the air is revealed here.

It was in one of the last segments of the show that Doré's extraordinary ability and creativity in painting shone. With the extensive display of many large-scale paintings, his "Picturesque and Sublime Landscapes" established him as one of the foremost landscape painters of the nineteenth century (figs. 19, 20). These paintings, completed from the 1860s onward, have never been grouped together; with them, the human figure is almost eliminated so that the incomparable majesty of mountains and vast topographic panoramas overwhelm the spectator. The effective employment of changing light effects reveals that Doré understood what he was seeing in different locations while maintaining the practice of recomposing these romantic visions in the solitude of his studio. Suggestive of the works of the Swiss landscapist Alexandre Calame, as well as the romantic compositions of Caspar David Friedrich, Doré's Sunrise over the Alps (1873-77, Leeds Museums and Galleries, Leeds) or his Loch Lomond (1875, Saint Louis Art Museum, St. Louis) are reminders that Doré's imagination encompassed all areas and genres of creativity. It was a fitting climax to his career.

The final section of the show explored Doré's influence on the new phenomenon of the twentieth century: the motion picture (fig. 21). In "Gustave Doré and the Silver Screen" his relationship with movies was dramatically acknowledged. Using a few film clips, projected in a darkened space, the visitor was given the opportunity to briefly see how every film about the Bible, since the Life and Passion of Jesus Christ (Pathé, 1902) was directly inspired by Doré's illustrations. Clearly the dramatic lighting in some of his huge paintings, and the ways in which he created with almost a cinematic flair for staging and drama, made his work-all of it-seem even more fully important for our own century. Once again, by going beyond a formulaic construction of a typical art historical exhibition, the organizers created a model that other curators must take note of in their own exhibitions.

What then is the overall achievement of this exhibition? What does the show do to focus study on the various modes of Doré's creativity? The answers to these questions lie in the way the curators have seamlessly examined Doré from all aspects-simultaneously-so that it is possible to see that he was a total creator, not a one-dimensional illustrator. By grouping works in different thematic sections and maintaining a chronology while demonstrating how various themes interweave themselves throughout Doré's life, they have provided a challenging and exciting way to present a monographic show. Unfortunately, while the exhibition catalogue contains a number of substantial and interpretive essays, especially those written by Philippe Kaenel, the placement of the images with the texts are haphazard at best and continually confusing. The catalogue suggests it was prepared in haste without a clear understanding of how the exhibition was to be organized and little integration with the texts provided by scholars. A massive tome, it suggests that as much care and precision should be expended on the publication as obviously has been achieved with the show itself. Aside from this, the exhibition presents a unique way to appreciate an artist many thought they knew, but who emerges through this show as a towering, imaginative genius fulfilling the nineteenth-century call to find a painter who could capture many of the nuances of modern life.

Gabriel P. Weisberg
University of Minnesota
vooni1942[at]aol.com

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Weisberg reviews Gustave Doré (1832-1883): Master of Imagination

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Founded in 2002, Nineteenth-Century Art Worldwide is a scholarly, refereed e-journal devoted to the study of nineteenth-century painting, sculpture, graphic art

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This poem is about not feeling good enough for anything or anybody. Gregor never felt like he was providing enough for his family. He could never make enough money to satisfy his parents. He also felt like he was not good enough for his job. while always traveling for work, they still thought that he was stealing money from the company making his self-esteem go down. When the office manager showed up at his door, he was criticized for not being on time even though he was always on time.

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I will never be Good Enough

I'm not doing well, the past few weeks have been yet another dark period in my life. So much happening... most of which I can't bring myself to discuss even in an anonymous setting like this...it's not YOU... it's me, and the fact that I can't seem to admit the nasty truths to myself. I'm falling apart, I know it. I feel myself slipping. I am aware of the panic building deep inside of me. I know what the trigger is, but I don't know what to do about it. I don't know how to "fix" it...and IT *****! Everything feels like it's upside down, I cry one minute and I laugh the next. Sometimes it starts as a laugh and ends as a cry. And I wonder how much strength and will power I really possess, taking a moral inventory, trying to figure out who the hell I am.
It's just not a good time;
I suppose I should just leave it at that.
I have good ideas,
but not enough heart to stick it out.
Or maybe I'm just not good enough, period?
That's how I feel... not good enough...
not smart enough, or pretty enough,
or thin enough,or rich enough,
or successful enough,
I'm not good enough.
Not Good Enough.
I long to be good enough,
yet that dream has not been realized,
and I wonder if it ever will be. Lately, I feel nothing...
except emptiness, and hollow...
I can't for the life of me figure out what's wrong.
How did I get this way?
What led to this?
What's wrong with me?
Why can't I make sense of it all.
I think I'm broken.
I feel a heaviness in my heart
something is trying to happen far away
within a part of me I don't remember how to find.
I feel lost
I'm just wandering around within my mind, waiting.
Wishing for someone to tell me what to do and how
but there's no one to help me.
I cannot allow myself to trust, to lean on anyone.
Been there, done that,
it only ends in more pain, more shame and hurt.
I am on my own with this.
So I write about it,
because that's what I know how to do
and the writing pacifies me
and teases me out of my own thoughts.
I have so much hurt and anger
it's bubbling to the surface.
Everything around me, and the very fact that I have to go on in the midst of it, whispers to me of my own failure and horribleness as a human being. I know all that I tell myself is not true, but this is not the kind of thing I can just tell myself to stop and be happy.

I see myself as a child. I see a little girl sitting in a dark corner, hugging her knees and trying to be as small and "out of the way" as possible. When she looks at me, her eyes are full of a terrible anger- rage, really and pain. She is scared. I have never seen myself so dark. But she is undeniably me, and she must have existed during that time of my life. I have ignored her, I choose to ignore her, because she did not fit the image I held for myself. She makes me think about everything that happened to me. So much anger, so much hurt. She was rejected, hated, abused; never good enough. She was insulted, ridiculed, hated, ignored, and abused. The pain from the aftermath is unspeakable. I try to list the things my father said to me- did to me- not to relive the memories but to acknowledge the suffering I never could when I was actually going through it. I try to describe the pain and it's so overwhelming that no words will come. I don't know what to say to her...this child of my past. I don't know how to help her exist, how to let myself be angry and hurt, how to bring to life all of the things that I've repressed. I want to express it all, but I don't know where to begin. And I look for something anything, a book, a person, a therapist; anything to show me the way. I suppose there is no way, no road map, nothing but fumbling in the dark, at least that's been my experience. I try to ignore her, but every night when I close my eyes and I see her, but I cannot sit with her or tell her I am here for her. I am unable to tell her that her pain is real and that she has every right to be angry. I cannot help her or stop her anger or pain. I don't know how. No one has ever shown me how. And she wants, needs, something, and I don't know what to do, or how to help her. I am so tired of walking this road alone.
I am tired of the pain and anger,
but they are mine- a part of me.

And I don't know where to go from here.
Or if there is anywhere to go from here.

**I will never be good enough.

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I will never be Good Enough / I'm not doing well, the past few weeks have been yet another dark period in my life. So ...

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"Dead Poets Society," a film directed by Peter Weir, explores themes of individualism and rebellion against societal expectations through the story of a group of students inspired by their unconventional teacher, John Keating. This narrative connects to Franz Kafka's "The Metamorphosis," where the protagonist, Gregor Samsa, undergoes a physical transformation into a giant insect, symbolizing his alienation and struggle against oppressive familial and social structures. Both works delve into the individual's quest for identity and meaning amidst constraining environments, highlighting the consequences of nonconformity and the profound impact of awakening to one's true self.

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"Flowers in the Attic" by V.C. Andrews and Franz Kafka's "The Metamorphosis" both explore themes of family dysfunction, isolation, and transformation. In "Flowers in the Attic," the Dollanganger children are confined and neglected by their own family, leading to psychological and physical suffering. Similarly, in "The Metamorphosis," Gregor Samsa's transformation into an insect show his family's neglect and repulsion, highlighting their dependency on him and eventual alienation. Both narratives use the characters' transformations which is teral in Kafka's work and situational in Andrews's, to critique the damaging effects of family cruelty and the profound isolation that results.

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Dreams of an inheritance turn into a nightmare for four innocent children. Locked in the deserted north wing of the family mansion. Beaten by a vicious grandmother. Tormented by a menacing caretaker. Starved and left alone to wither - and perhaps die - like FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC. Their only hope lies in escape. But a horrible truth awaits them in the main house - a truth that will push the children toward a dizzying and violent solution. FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC - living proof that even the prettiest flowers can grow deadly in the attic's darkness. - Anonymous

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Dreams of an inheritance turn into a nightmare for four innocent children. Locked in the deserted north wing of the family mansion. Beaten by a vicious grandmother. Tormented by a menacing caretaker. Starved and left alone to wither - and perhaps die - like FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC.

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Franz Kafka's "The Metamorphosis" and Albert Camus' "The Stranger" explore existential alienation and life's absurdity. In "The Stranger," Meursault experiences alienation and eventual condemnation as a result of his emotional detachment and disregard for social conventions. Comparably, in "The Metamorphosis," Gregor Samsa's transformation into an insect and his subsequent rejection by his family illustrates the absurd and random nature of human existence. The world that neither of the protagonists lives in seems to care about them, underscoring the existential idea that people must make their way through this ridiculous world and that life is meaningless in and of itself.

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The Stranger has 516,673 ratings and 16,218 reviews. Trevor said: I don't know what to do with these stars anymore. I give stars to books and then I thin...