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In May 2011, my mom had to be taken to the hospital in the middle of the night because of complications from her pregnancy. My mom always woke my sisters and me up for school, but that morning, my older sister woke my little sister and me up, and I knew instantly that something was wrong. We walked down the stairs, and my heart dropped with every step because I knew she wasn’t in the house and the only car gone was my dad’s, which meant he was with her. He never missed work, so this was something BIG. My older sister wouldn’t tell me what was wrong even though I was ten, and I already knew something was up. A few moments later, my grandparent’s truck pulled into our driveway. My grandma practically ran into the house and hugged us all. She started crying, and I saw her even though she tried to hide it. “She’s going to be okay.” My older sister was consoling my grandma. Something was wrong. My sister looked at me and told me to get dressed for school because Grandma and Grandpa would take my little sister and me to school. Another oddity because my mom taught at the school that we attended, so we would ride to school with her. No one told me a thing about my mom’s condition till I got to school. There was one teacher that was like a second mom to my siblings and me because my mom and her were best friends. She told me everything while my little sister was playing with her friends. I felt heartbroken that I couldn’t trust anyone because no one told me what was happening. All I wanted to do was run to my mom’s side, but I couldn’t. I don’t remember anything else from that day other than people asking me how I was handling everything. I knew I had to stay strong for my little sister because she knew nothing about the situation. She was so young that everyone wanted to keep it from her. At the end of the day, my grandparents picked us up from school and took us to their house. They told us that my mom was home from the hospital and doing good, but we had to stay at their house for the night. Knowing she was home and okay wasn’t enough for me; I had to see her. I cried so hard that I made myself hyperventilated and sick. They eventually took me home to my mom because I wouldn’t stop crying and screaming that I wanted to go home. My mom was sitting on the couch when I got home. I went up to her and just crumpled. I curled into her and stayed there for hours. She was good and made a full recovery, but a few months later, she ended up back in the hospital and lost the baby.

I do not talk about this event often because it is pretty hard to talk about. It taught me a lot about myself, though, so I thought it would be an excellent event to use for this project. Looking at it through the lens of Erikson’s stages shows a very different picture of how my psychological self developed than I usually think. I think this event offers a balance between the stages and that not everything is black and white.

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With this stage, newborn babies develop a sense of whether the world is safe. Babies are learning to trust the outside world through their families.

Looking at the event, I would lean more towards mistrust because I felt unsafe then. I also live very much on the cautious side of life, making me think that I developed more on the mistrust side. “People need to trust the world and the people in it, but they also need to learn some mistrust to protect themselves from danger” (Martorell pg. 13).

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In this stage, the child, eighteen months to three years old, learns to be more independent and self-sufficient. They learn to balance those new skills over shame and doubt.

I would say that I am more on the autonomy side of this stage. In the event, I had to be strong for my little sister, and I continue to be to this day. I have occasional doubts, but I am more independent than doubtful. “Caregivers who view children’s expressions of self-will as a normal, healthy striving for independence and not as stubbornness can help them learn self-control, contribute to their sense of competence, and avoid excessive conflict” (Martorell pg. 157).

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Children 3 to 6 years old develop initiative when trying new things without feeling the dread of guilt.

Before this event, I would have said I was more on the initiative side because I like learning new things. Now after the event, I am more conservative in trying new things. I am more cautious in trying new things, but that goes back to the Trust vs. Mistrust stage. “Children who learn how to regulate these opposing drives develop the virtue of purpose, the courage to envision and pursue foals without being unduly inhibited by guilt or fear of punishment” (Martorell pg. 210).

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In this stage, children from 6 years old to the age they hit puberty are faced with learning the skills of their culture or dealing with the feeling of being inferior.

Industry is the way that I developed. I feel like I am almost too industrious because I am a workaholic. I must constantly be busy with work or school. I think this also came from this event because I needed to keep myself occupied so I wouldn’t overthink what was happening. “If the stage is successfully resolved, children develop a view of themselves as being able to master skills and complete tasks. This can go too far: If children become too industrious, they may neglect social relationships and turn into workaholic” (Martorell pg. 276).

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After puberty, adolescents must decide on a sense of self, or they may face an identity crisis.

I think I am on the Identity side of this stage because I have a strong sense of self. I have a solid understanding of values and how I want to live my life. “Identity forms as young people resolve three major issues: the choice of an occupation, the adoption of values to live by, and the development of a satisfying sexual identity. The effort to make sense of the self is part of a healthy process that builds on the achievements of earlier stages--on trust, autonomy, initiative, and industry-and lays the groundwork for coping with the challenges of adult life” (Martorell pg. 336).

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In young adulthood, a person strives to make connections with other people, whether romantically or platonically. If these connections are not made, they may feel lonely and isolated.

I was in a manipulative relationship at the beginning of the age range. When I was graduating high school at 17, I felt very isolated, and I couldn’t make those connections with people. Now that I am out of the relationship, I am getting better about making connections with people. I am still very reserved about making connections though. I would say I am currently in the middle of this stage.“When adolescents have high-quality friendships, those friendships tend to be deeply embedded within their other supportive social relationships, including other friends, romantic partners, and family members. A bidirectional process seems to be at work: Good relationships foster adjustment, which in turn fosters good relationships” (Martorell pg. 351).

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A mature adult is concerned with guiding the next generation of society, or they may feel a loss of wealth.

This stage hasn’t happened for me, but I think I will be on the generativity side of this stage. I enjoy working with younger kids now, and I don’t believe that will change. "Cross-cultural data from 136 countries indicated that prosocial behavior is associated with well-being and increases in happiness. Prosocial behavior also helps mitigate the negative effects of stress by influencing emotional responses, allowing people to retain positive affect and dampening negative emotional responses. Volunteering, a common form of prosocial behavior, is also associated with benefits" (Martorell pg. 326).

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In this stage, a person looks back on their life and they either accept their decisions in life and death or they feel despair in the fact they can’t relive life.

I think I will be at the integrity side of this stage because right now if I look back on my life, I feel content with my life decisions. I know I have a lot of life left to live but I don’t see that changing. "Growth and development do not screech to a stop even then. People continue to shape their development throughout their lifespans. What occurs in a child's world is significant, but it is not the whole story. We each continue to write and experience the story of human development for ourselves and our society for as long as we live" (Martorell pg. 357).

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1.    What new insight do you have into development?

Development isn’t black and white. Looking through these stages and examining how I fit into them, I was in the middle of the stage for many of them. My family plays a big part in my development, and I didn’t realize how much that one event affected my life now.

2.    What are your fondest future dreams (could be regarding work, love, friendship, community, religion, children, marriage, personal achievement, wealth, material possessions, etc..)?  In other words, how do you envision your future life?

For my future, I would like to have a good job. I would also like to have a family. I have always wanted the house, the husband, and the kids. Wealth and material things don’t affect what I want for my future. I want to be successful in my future career, but I don’t need material things. I want a family and the happiness they can bring rather than physical possessions.

3. How can you be a generative adult? What current behaviors, if continued through your adult years, might lead to stagnation?

To me, a generative adult volunteers and interacts with the younger generation. I spent a lot of time with both sets of my grandparents growing up; I would consider them generative adults because they shaped who my siblings and I were. I tend to shut myself off from other people sometimes. I could see this leading to stagnation when I am older because I am not moving towards anything.

Work Cited

Martorell, G. (2023a). Child (3rd ed.). New York, Ny: Mcgraw-Hill.