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Very descriptive so readers know what Torak is experiencing

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Very descriptive so readers know what Torak is experiencing

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Like the adjectives to describe Torak’s feelings

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How do you feel about this story descriptions? Scary? Adventurous?

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Torak will set his mind to protecting his father and himself

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Torak will set his mind to protecting his father and himself

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Will Torak and his father both survive?

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Torak will fight it out with the creature that attacked his dad with the help of other magical characters

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Torak will fight it out with the creature that attacked his dad with the help of other magical characters

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Why did the creature went away and left them alone? What did it want from the main character? 

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Why did the creature went away and left them alone? What did it want from the main character? 

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What is it?

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What was this taking place and what has happened to the characters in the story?

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How did his father got injured? What is Torak looking for that is lurking in the forest?

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How did his father got injured? What is Torak looking for that is lurking in the forest?

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Is dad alive?

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Adventurous, hero’s journey

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Action oriented.  Grips the reader into the present moment that the narrator is experiencing.

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Action oriented.  Grips the reader into the present moment that the narrator is experiencing.

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Suspenseful. Very good use of adjectives that I can feel and imagine what Torak is feeling and going through

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Suspenseful. Very good use of adjectives that I can feel and imagine what Torak is feeling and going through

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Opening sentence, as obviously he was so exhausted, slerp had enveloped him.

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Opening sentence, as obviously he was so exhausted, slerp had enveloped him.

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What is 'it'?

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Is Torak being chased by something scary? What is it?

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Is Torak being chased by something scary? What is it?

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Torak’s father died because he was bleeding

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Torak woke with a jolt from a sleep he'd never meant to have.

The fire had burned low. He crouched in the fragile shell of light and peered into the looming blackness of the Forest. He couldn't see anything. Couldn't hear anything. Had it come back? Was it out there now, watching him with its hot, murderous eyes?

He felt hollow and cold. He knew that he badly needed food, and that his arm hurt, and his eyes were scratchy with tiredness, but he couldn't really feel it. All night he'd guarded the wreck of the spruce bough shelter and watched his father bleed. How could this be happening?

And where was it now?