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Your Baby's Movements Matter. Kicks Count is the UK's leading baby movement campaign, keeping mums and babies safe.

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Your Baby's Movements Matter. Kicks Count is the UK's leading baby movement campaign, keeping mums and babies safe.

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Kicks Count is the UK's leading baby movement resource and awareness campaign. By empowering pregnant women with knowledge and confidence, babies' lives can be saved.

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"When I got pregnant, I got a MAMA Academy Wellbeing Wallet, I read it all the way around. Being a new first-time ...

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I was a bit scared when we found out we were having a baby, obviously happy, but a bit scared and in the beginning I was a bit clueless. The child development part is my favourite bit, but there's things in there, like things about mental health, that I didn't know about and that I didn't know you needed to know about.

Ross, 22

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DadPad | The Essential Guide for New Dads | Support Guide for New Dads

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I was a bit scared when we found out we were having a baby, obviously happy, but a bit scared and in the beginning I was a bit clueless. The child development part is my favourite bit, but there's things in there, like things about mental health, that I didn't know about and that I didn't know you needed to know about.

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England's most senior nurse has appointed the lead on health and wellbeing for Chelsea Pensioners as her advisor on improving support for care home nurses. Professor Deborah Sturdy OBE will provide the chief nursing officer for England, Ruth May, with expert advice from those nurses working to deliver the high-quality clinical care for people living [...]

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England's most senior nurse has appointed the lead on health and wellbeing for Chelsea Pensioners as her advisor on improving support for care home nurses. Professor Deborah Sturdy OBE will provide the chief nursing officer for England, Ruth May, with expert advice from those nurses working to deliver the high-quality clinical care for people living [...]

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MBRRACE-UK Perinatal Confidential Enquiry: A comparison of the care of Asian, Black and White women who have experienced a stillbirth or neonatal death

MBRRACE-UK is pleased to announce the publication of the latest MBRRACE-UK Perinatal Confidential Enquiry reports, comparing the care of Asian, Black and White women who have experienced a stillbirth or neonatal death. This is the fifth perinatal confidential enquiry and the first to be presented as concise "State of the Nation" reports. There are two reports: one comparing the care of Asian and White women, and one comparing the care of Black and White women. Each report is accompanied by additional online content, a lay summary and an infographic. The reports can be accessed on the TIMMS website.

MBRRACE-UK Saving Lives Improving Mothers' Care - Lessons learned to inform maternity care from the UK and Ireland Confidential Enquiries into Maternal Deaths and Morbidity 2019-21

MBRRACE-UK is pleased to announce the publication on the 12th October 2023 of the MBRRACE-UK Saving Lives, Improving Mothers' Care report for 2023. This year, as requested by NHS England, we have three shorter forms of the report containing limited surveillance and confidential enquiry results which are available below as the "State of the Nation" surveillance and themed reports. The full materials are available in the compiled report including the supplementary material.

Themed Surveillance Report

Themed Maternal Morbidity Report

Themed Maternal Mortality Report

We are pleased to be able to let you know that printed copies of the 'MBRRACE-UK: Saving Lives, Improving Mothers' Care 2023: Lessons to inform maternity care from the UK and Ireland Confidential Enquiries in Maternal Death and Morbidity 2019-21' published on the 12th October 2023 are now available to purchase from our online store for a price of £10 per copy inc VAT and postage.
Buy my copy of the printed report now!
Back copies of the reports are also available to puchase. Further details are available here

MBRRACE-UK Perinatal Mortality Surveillance: Report for births in 2021

MBRRACE-UK is pleased to announce the publication of the MBRRACE-UK Perinatal Mortality Surveillance Report for Births in 2021. This is the ninth perinatal surveillance report and the first to be presented as a concise "State of the Nation" report. The report is accompanied by a set of reference tables, a data viewer with interactive mapping, and a technical manual. The report can be accessed on the TIMMS website

MBRRACE-UK publishes three sets of reports:

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The National Perinatal Epidemiology Unit (NPEU) is a multidisciplinary research unit based at the University of Oxford. Our work involves running randomised controlled trials, national surveillance programmes and surveys, confidential enquiries, aetiological studies and a disease register. The results of our research sit at the nexus of public and population health sciences, clinical care and health policy development.

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We are here for anyone who has experienced the loss of a baby, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, or termination for medical reasons. Thank you to the parents who are helping to break the silence. Read their stories.

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We are here for anyone who has experienced the loss of a baby, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, or termination for medical reasons. Thank you to the parents who are helping to break the silence. Read their stories.

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DigiDAD is an online E-Learning platform full of father friendly content. Why not register for our accredited courses? Browse our videos? Or check out some of our podcasts. Your journey through fatherhood starts here By registering to DigiDAD you'll be able to access our online courses, downloads lots of Dad

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As society acknowledges the significant and diverse roles fathers play within their families, it becomes increasingly important to ensure that family services […]

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Engaging fathers – recommendations for a game change in parenting interventions based on a systematic review of the global evidence

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Engaging fathers – recommendations for a game change in parenting interventions based on a systematic review of the global evidence

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These pages are for dads, partners and non-birthing parents. We also hope they will be helpful for anyone who is supporting someone through pregnancy and birth

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DadPad | The Essential Guide for New Dads | Support Guide for New Dads

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I was a bit scared when we found out we were having a baby, obviously happy, but a bit scared and in the beginning I was a bit clueless. The child development part is my favourite bit, but there's things in there, like things about mental health, that I didn't know about and that I didn't know you needed to know about.

Ross, 22

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DadPad | The Essential Guide for New Dads | Support Guide for New Dads

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Developed with the NHS, DadPad gives new dads and dads-to-be the knowledge and skills needed to gain confidence and give their baby the best start in life.

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Our free multi-award-winning, interactive pregnancy and parenting app Baby Buddy has been created to support parents, co-parents and caregivers, and to back up frontline practitioners' work and communication. Baby Buddy provides trusted, evidence-based information and self-care tools, based on the latest research and is NHS-approved.

Baby Buddy aims to empower parents and care-givers to build their knowledge and confidence for the crucial first five years of their child's life, when foundations are laid.

Baby Buddy has:

Fun, engaging interactive features to 'learn without the burn'

A huge video library - including tips on breastfeeding and the Small Wonders Change Programme for premature and low birthweight babies

Out of the Blue - videos promoting mental health

Support and advice particularly tailored to dads

'Today's information' - personalised, bite-size daily updates

Much more!

99% of parents using the app say that it's easy to use and has helped them to take care of their children. Baby Buddy is designed in particular for those who may not be in education, training or employment and its literacy age of 9 means it's easily accessible to those whose first language may not be English - our data shows an over-representation of non-English speaking users.

Co-created with parents, the Royal College of Midwives, health organisations and accredited by the NHS, the Baby Buddy App is available, free, through Google Play, the App Store and the NHS Apps library. Baby Buddy is also embedded, through training, in the maternity care pathways of 48 sites across the country and via grassroots organisations.

Winner of AXA PPP, Guardian Public Service's Digital and Technology and RCM Midwifery awards, Baby Buddy is endorsed by a number of royal colleges and other leading health organisations.

The updated Baby Buddy app, featuring daily advice for fathers, up until the child's first birthday, is available now to download through the App store.

What our users say about Baby Buddy

Insights from evaluations  have shown that areas which actively embed the Baby Buddy app with commissioned support from Best Beginnings have observed higher rates of engagement and reached parents of all backgrounds.

Latest

Baby Buddy Local is a Best Beginnings initiative that enables participating localities to use the Baby Buddy app as a responsive public health tool through the incorporation of local information and promotion of local services via the app. The Project Manager role with support with building relationships and supporting services across Brimingham to integrate the app, including organising a launch event and exciting social media campaigns.

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The free multi-award winning app for parents and parents-to-be endorsed by the Department of Health and other leading health organisations in the UK.

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Online Support Groups – PANDAS Foundation UK

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Online Support Groups – PANDAS Foundation UK

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Miscarriage for Men - a little help when you need it most. Have you and your partner experienced miscarriage? MfM is a support network of genuine guys who have experienced the exact same thing you are going through right now. Here you an find helpful resources and a forum to help you get through this.

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Ask DadPad, Health & Wellbeing

Posted on 22nd October 2021

Ask DadPad, Health & Wellbeing

Posted on 22nd October 2021

As a parent-to-be, there are lots of things you will want to sort as you prepare yourself and your surroundings to welcome your new arrival. Getting baby's nursery ready, buying all the equipment that you and your partner will need in order to care for baby, and reading up on all the important 'how to' information are top of most pregnant couples 'to do' lists.

However, something you might not immediately have thought of - especially as a dad-to-be, rather than the pregnant mum - is getting your health in order. Mum will have received lots of information from those providing her antenatal care on all aspects of her own health and wellbeing, including what she should and shouldn't be eating and drinking, and also the fact that she should consider giving up any bad habits which could affect the health of your unborn baby.

But these considerations are equally applicable to you, as the dad, and giving up smoking is something that should be fairly high up your list - not least because you're going to need more money now, and it's reckoned that you could save at least £2,750 a year if you give up a 20-a-day habit [* These were the figures we found when we first wrote this article back in 2021. Today, in Oct 2023, with the average price of a packet of 20 cigarettes around £14, that saving looks to be more in the region of £5,000!]. In fact, smoking can have such an impact on your body that it's something you might want to start thinking about that before you even get pregnant!

Stop smoking to get pregnant

Did you know that smoking can reduce your fertility, meaning that it might make it more difficult for you and your partner to get pregnant? According to the Tommy's website, not only does breathing in second-hand smoke (also known as passive smoking) from you make it more difficult for your partner's body to conceive, smoking will also have an affect on your own body's fertility by:

reducing the quality of semen

causing the semen to have a lower sperm count

affecting the sperm's normal swimming patterns, and

causing male sexual impotence (the ability to get or maintain an erection)

The good news is that giving up can reverse some of the damage that smoking is doing, and has done, to your body by improving the quality of your sperm along with your sperm count, and also reducing the risk of impotence over time. Ideally, you should aim to quit at least four months before you intend to start trying for a baby, but stopping at any stage will definitely help matters.

Stop smoking to support your partner

Another really good reason to stop smoking once you start thinking about becoming a dad is to support your partner in her efforts to quit. This is because all the evidence suggests that it's a lot easier to give up smoking - and to keep going as a non-smoker - if your partner doesn't smoke either. Giving up together will enable you to support each other, and now you both have a brilliant reason to stay motivated - perhaps the best reason you'll ever get?

Stop smoking to protect your unborn baby

Of course, the biggest reason to stop smoking once you realise that a baby is on its way is to protect the health and wellbeing of your baby whilst it's growing and developing inside mum's body.

If you live with your pregnant partner and smoke around her - and/or, when it is born, your baby - NHS websites tell us that your secondhand (passive) smoke can increase the risk of a number of negative outcomes for your baby, including:

being born prematurely and/or with a low birth-weight;

sudden infant death syndrome (also known as SIDS or 'cot death');

developing asthma, and experiencing more severe and frequent asthma attacks;

experiencing and/or being admitted to hospital in its first year of life with breathing/respiratory-related conditions, such as bronchitis or pneumonia, and also being more susceptible to viral infections;

ear infections, which may cause long-term hearing loss; and

meningitis.

Passive smoking can also, of course, impact on your partner's health.

Still not convinced?

You might have read all the above and still think that giving up smoking isn't for you, or something that you're just not able to do. We get it. Julian at DadPad is an ex-smoker and totally appreciates how hard it is to quit. For each of us, we'll need to find our own unique motivation which shifts our thinking, and our willpower. And it doesn't mean that you're a bad dad if you aren't able to give up smoking.

If you're struggling with your emotions around smoking and becoming a new dad, having a read through of this Canadian booklet from a few years ago - 'The Right Time... The Right Reasons...' - might help you. It's full of quotes from real-life dads who smoked, showing the thoughts they have had about becoming a dad and being a dad who smokes. We've used some of their quotes to illustrate this blog post.

One page that you might especially want to look at - if you're (a) trying to decide whether or not to quit and/or (b) struggling with your willpower to keep away from cigarettes - is their "Adding to my pile of reasons to quit smoking". This might really help focus you on what's important to you...

From: https://facet.ubc.ca/wp-content/uploads/Right-Times-Right-Reasons.pdf

But what support is available to help me quit?

If you and/or your partner have made the decision to quit, in order to get pregnant or to give your baby-to-be the best start in life, that's fantastic news. There are loads of health professionals out there ready to support you in this and help increase your chances of success - in fact, it's reckoned that if you have professional support, you are three times more likely to succeed.

A really good first step is to visit the NHS Quit Smoking webpage which contains lots of really great advice, including a helpful list of ten self-help tips.

The webpage also flags up the NHS Stop Smoking Service for England, which provides free expert advice, support and encouragement to help you quit for good. You can find your nearest Stop Smoking Service by entering your postcode on the website. They'll be able to offer you an initial one-to-one appointment, and potentially also group sessions and drop-in services (depending on where you live). You can talk to them - or your GP - about the different stop smoking treatments that might be available to you, including nicotine replacement therapy (NRT).

If you live in one of the other home nations, there are specific stop smoking advice services and helpline set up for you, too: in Wales, there's Help Me Quit; in Scotland, the service is provided by NHS Inform; and in Northern Ireland, you can be supported via a Quit Kit.

The NHS also have a national Smokefree Helpline - on 0300 123 1044 - which is open Monday-Friday, 9.00am-8.00pm, and at weekends from 11.00am-4.00pm. This is a great number to have on hand when you feel yourself at a moment of weakness, with one of the Helpline advisers explaining that their role is to " talk about why you want to smoke and how to deal with your cravings."

Another great resource is the NHS Quit Smoking App which is available for free download ( just like the DadPad!) and which allows you to track your progress as a non-smoker, see how much money you're saving (a great incentive!) and receive daily support.

You might also want to look at other organisations - such as QUIT and The Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation - who also offer support to those trying to stop smoking.

Finally, you and/or your partner might want to let your Midwife, Health Visitor or GP know that you're planning to give up, as they'll also be able to offer you support and guidance.

The Good News!

The good news is that - once you've stopped smoking - your body will start to feel the benefits almost immediately. For example (all info here comes from the NHS Better Health Quit Smoking webpage):

All the carbon monoxide will have been flushed out of your body within 48 hours, and your senses of taste and smell will also be improving

You should be able to notice that your breathing has become easier within 72 hours, because your bronchial tubes will have started to relax - and you'll have a little more energy now, too

After 2 to 12 weeks, your circulation will have improved, meaning that your blood is now pumping to your heart and muscles much better

If you can get to 28 days without smoking, you're five times more likely to be able to quit for good

And, after 1 year as a non-smoker, your risk of heart attack will have halved compared with that of someone who is still smoking. Hang in there for 10 years, and you'll also have reduced your risk of lung cancer by half, too!

References and further reading:
Stop smoking to get pregnant:
NHS webpage - How to improve your chances of becoming a dad

Tommy's webpage - How smoking affects female and male fertility
Stop smoking to support your partner and protect your baby:
NHS webpage - Stop smoking in pregnancy

NHS Start4Life webpage - Smoking in pregnancy

NHS Start4Life webpage - Advice for partners

NCT webpage - Smoking during pregnancy

What 0-18 NHS webpage - Stop smoking - protect your child's health
Stop smoking support services:
NHS webpage - NHS Stop Smoking Services help you quit

NHS Better Health webpage - Quit Smoking/Stoptober/App

QUIT charity - Website
Additional resources:
FACET (Families Controlling And Eliminating Tobacco) organisation from Canada, who have lots of dad-focused resources on their website, including their ' The Right Time... The Right Reasons... ' booklet.

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Giving up smoking as a dad-to-be | Ask DadPad | Support for new dads

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Giving up smoking is one of the best things you can do for your new baby - we look at why this is and the support available to help you quit

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Groundbreaking survey shows dads need recognition and support | DAD.info

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A new research survey has found that 95% of dads feel they need more support for their mental health. The survey (link at bottom of page) was undertaken by men’s mental health campaigners Scott Mair and Mark Williams, and surveyed 261 participants about their stress levels during the perinatal period and how involved they felt… Read More »

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Step into fatherhood highlighting risk factors and signs and symptoms to look out for.

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The NHS Long Term Plan renewed the NHS's commitment to transformation in specialist perinatal mental health services, to ensure that all women who can benefit are able to access care. This included a commitment to develop and implement maternal mental health services (referred to in the Long Term Plan as maternity outreach clinics) in every area of the country by 2023/24.

Maternal mental health services will combine maternity, reproductive health and psychological therapy for women experiencing moderate to severe or complex mental health difficulties directly arising from, or related to, their maternity experience. This may include those who experience post-traumatic stress disorder following birth trauma, perinatal loss or severe fear of childbirth (tokophobia).

This ambition will contribute to the overall commitment for perinatal mental health in the Long Term Plan and the Mental health implementation plan to enable at least 66,000 women with moderate to severe perinatal mental health difficulties to access specialist care by 2023/24.

The Perinatal Mental Health Programme and Maternity Transformation Programme will work in partnership to deliver this ambition.

In July 2020, NHS England and NHS Improvement launched a call for proposals, making £11.3 million per year available for the development and testing of maternal mental health services during 2020/21 and 2021/22. Sustainability and transformation partnership footprints and integrated care systems were invited to submit proposals for the testing and development of a maternal mental health service in their area, either as an early implementer or fast follower.

The early implementers sites will begin delivering care in spring 2021 and the fast follower sites in the coming months. The services should treat up to 6,000 women across the country over the next 18 months. There will be pilot sites in every region of England.

All proposals were assessed by expert panels including specialist clinicians and women with lived experience of perinatal mental illness.

26 sites across the country have been selected in 20/21 to develop and test models for maternal mental health services in their area, either as an early implementer or fast follower. An additional 7 sites have been selected in 21/22. This means that 33 sites in total will be piloting maternal mental health services before April 2022.

Midlands Birmingham and Solihull
Leicestershire
Northamptonshire
Shropshire Telford and Wrekin

East of England
Bedfordshire, Luton and Milton Keynes
Norfolk and Waveney

North East South Yorkshire and Bassetlaw

North Central London
North East London
North West London

North West Lancashire and South Cumbria

Berkshire, Oxfordshire and Buckinghamshire
Frimley Health
Surrey Heartlands

South EastHampshire and Isle of Wight
Kent and Medway

Bath, Swindon and Wiltshire
Gloucester
Somerset

North East and North Cumbria
Humber, Coast and Vale

Derbyshire
Lincolnshire
Nottinghamshire
Coventry and Warwick
Black Country and West Birmingham
Staffordshire
Hereford and Worcester

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The NHS Long Term Plan renewed the NHS's commitment to transformation in specialist perinatal mental health services, to ensure that all women who can benefit are able to access care. This included a commitment to develop and implement maternal mental health services (referred to in the Long Term Plan as maternity outreach clinics) in every area of the country by 2023/24.

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We found out we were expecting Everley-Quinn on 25th January 2020. The whole pregnancy journey was up and down due to my wife's underlying health condition and the lockdown restrictions. We had a miscarriage last year, which was upsetting for both myself and my wife, but we knew we wanted another child, and decided to try again.

For me, being in lockdown during the pregnancy was really difficult. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go to the 12-week scan with my wife. After going through a previous miscarriage, I was so nervous about it and even more so that I couldn't go with her to the scan. All I could do was wait for a phone call to say everything was okay.

Missing out on all the scans and doctors appointments during the pregnancy made me feel very disconnected from the baby. Yes, I could feel her move sometimes, but for me it just didn't feel the same as with the other two pregnancies.

Near the end of the pregnancy, my wife had reduced movements. I wasn't able to go into the hospital and had to wait in the car. Eventually, I went home and within 20 minutes or so I got a phone call to say she was going to be induced and I could go back to be with her.

Managing mental health

Since becoming a dad, it's been a rollercoaster of a ride. With my oldest, I was fine. I had down days, where I felt I didn't know what I was doing, but that didn't get me down too much. My second child Aurelia suffered from cmpa but we didn't get told till around 6 months. During this time, my mental health took a massive turn. My wife noticed I was down a lot and said speaking to someone could help, so I contacted the doctor. They recommended I started taking some medication to help and I ended up doing some counselling as well. It felt uncomfortable at first, but I'm so glad I did it.

I actually feel that being in lockdown and having more time together since Everley-Quinn was born has definitely helped me and my wife be in a better place, both mentally and emotionally. Generally, if I am finding things difficult to copy with, I try to get out of the situation for a while. I go for a walk and clear my head. I think it helps to just talk to people, even if I don't know them, and not even about the problems or feelings themselves.

Connecting with other dads

I never thought I would be a guy to open up on social media and talk to other people about issues like this. But I'm glad I did. I started up a social media account as a bit of a joke, to see if I could get more followers than my wife. I started following more dads and mums online, and have found that it helps so much talking to other parents. I found a dad's app as well called Dad AF, which is fantastic if I need to vent or ask for advice.

I didn't open up about my mental health until my wife was 6 months pregnant with our third baby. I personally would say to any dads out there, find a support network. Talk to your mates who are already dads and if you don't know many, search for others via social media or support groups. There are so many out there willing to talk and not just about their kids. I'm part of a dad's live chat every week. It's not as lonely as you first think.

Organisations to support dads and partners

Mind

You can contact Mind's Infoline 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday on 0300 123 3393.
Text them on 86463, or email[email protected] .

CALM

The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) offer support to any man who is down or in crisis online, over the phone on 0800 58 58 58, or on webchat.

PANDAS Dads

PANDAS Dads have a private Facebook support group to help dads going through and anxiety and/or those who are supporting their partner with perinatal mental illness.

Samaritans

Day or night, Samaritans are there if you need to talk. Call them on 116 123.

SMS4dads

SMS4dads gives dads information and connects them to online services by text. As well as this, every three weeks you get an interactive 'How's it going?" message. Give it a try.

Dad AF

The Dad AF app is a digital support network for Dads from those at the pregnancy stage; through to those with teenage children.

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Reaching out to other dads for support during pregnancy and beyond

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We found out we were expecting Everley-Quinn on 25th January 2020. The whole pregnancy journey was up and down due to my wife's underlying health condition and the lockdown restrictions. We had a miscarriage last year, which was upsetting for both myself and my wife, but we knew we wanted another child, and decided to try again.

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Becoming a dad and welcoming a baby into the world should be one of the happiest moments in life. But for dads whose babies start life in neonatal care, those positive feelings of optimism and joy can quickly be replaced by doubt, worry and fear.

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That's why Bliss is here to support all parents of premature or sick babies.

Having a baby in neonatal care is emotionally challenging for all parents, but for parents whose babies have been born since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, it's been even harder. Ongoing neonatal access restrictions continue to have a serious impact on families.

Parents have been unable to be with their baby as much as they need to be and some parents - often fathers and partners - have been unable to spend time with or be involved in their baby's care at all.

It can be especially tough for dads who are often forced to return to work while their baby is still in a neonatal unit.

That's why Bliss has long been calling on the Government to give both dads and mums an extra paid week off work for every week their baby is in neonatal care, to ensure the best outcomes for babies, families and employers.

Our parental leave page has more information on current entitlements.

We know many dads find it really difficult to talk about their feelings and often experience a sense of guilt when separated from their partner and baby. At Bliss, we're keen to let all dads know that our services are there for them too, whether they need information or support while their baby is in neonatal care.

Carl, a parent in North Lincolnshire, speaks to Bliss about how he felt when his twin sons were born premature in 2019 and why dads need more support. Listen to his podcast and read his open letter.

Bliss offers a wide range of services to provide support to parents and families of babies born premature or sick.

If you would like to talk to someone or get some support, you can email hello@bliss.org.uk and and we'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Find full details on our email page.

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Becoming a dad and welcoming a baby into the world should be one of the happiest moments in life. But for dads whose babies start life in neonatal care, those positive feelings of optimism and joy can quickly be replaced by doubt, worry and fear.

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Early intervention and prevention to young dads and parents and children at risk of entering the safeguarding or looked after arena. Support is 1:1 or group, around parenting, lifestyles, housing and homelessness, substance misuse, mental health, education ,employment and training.

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NEYDL is a unique youth support service that is dedicated to helping young men and young fathers to play an active and meaningful role in the lives of their children, within families and wider society.

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Spoons Charity - Neonatal Family Support

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When a baby is admitted to neonatal care, there is a lot of focus on mum. She may be unwell after the birth and receiving care from the midwives. We know that dads and partners struggle yet w e find that more mums are reaching out for help than dads. Dads also tell us it feels easier for mums to access support and they don't know where to start. Men tend to hide their feelings which can result in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder later down the line. We want to ensure neonatal dads have an accessible support network.

Dads might also feel under pressure to return to work. Some new dads have to take their paternity leave when their baby is on the neonatal unit, or they may have to use up holidays or take unpaid leave. It can be very stressful. You might find you have no time to stop and address your own thoughts and feelings .

One of our dads has come up with some tips and coping strategies for new dads who find themselves on a neonatal journey.

The story below has been written by one of our neonatal dads who was deeply affected by his son's traumatic birth. It really highlights the need for more support for dads in neonatal care.

My son was born very early at 24 weeks gestation. He was born in a very bad way... in a breech position and my wife had a large bleed leading to our son swallowing a lot of her blood. He was tiny, weighing 1lb 7oz. I was completely petrified the day he was born. It was like my worst nightmare but it was real. Just after my son was born I listened to the medical team as they connected him to a ventilator, lines and monitors. My wife was unconscious and the midwife was panicking due to the amount of blood she had lost. Then the beeps from the medical devices connected to my son became weaker and weaker until they stopped. There must have been a team of 15 medical staff in the room but all was completely silent. I was praying so hard my hands turned white and I remember thinking that this just cannot happen. I am still haunted by this day now and the thought that I could have lost my wife and little boy, fills me with a fear that I've never felt before. Despite my son's very early arrival and having a long list of severe medical issues he managed to pull through against all odds. We had a long and stressful stay in NICU and he came home on oxygen. After only a few days home he was rushed back into hospital after catching a cold. Our son remained on oxygen for 1 year which was challenging for me. I felt I had a lot of pressure on me. I am self employed, so I had to continue working despite what was going on at home and this was hard. We had agreed the sale on our house and were house hunting when our son was born. I had to take on that responsibility as I didn't want my wife becoming any more stressed. Somehow, and I don't know how, I managed to keep everything running pretty smoothly during the dark days in NICU but I found that I really struggled once things settled down. It was like bad weather moved into my mind and stayed there. The weather wasn't really stormy but was gloomy and depressing. I felt sad and negative, and a bit alone. The strange thing is that I didn't realise how bad it had affected me until I came out of it. I understand now that the symptoms are typical of PTSD, but even though I tried, I couldn't get any metal health support and this almost led to my business falling apart. I felt let down by the system. I guess I did some real soul searching and I opened up to my wife about how I was feeling, and that was the beginning of me admitting it to myself. I had to almost pick everything apart so I could put it all back together again and it was difficult. I started talking to a few other dads from NICU who I had kept in touch with and it was a surprise and a relief to find out they felt the same. It has been a long road for me. We're a few years on now and I still struggle to think about my boy's birth, but things have got easier. If I could give another bloke on NICU some advice it would be to talk - talk to other dads on the unit, especially those who have come out the other side of NICU. Reach out for help. It is out there and it is getting easier to find.

Spoons has a private Dads Facebook group. This is a safe space for dads who experience neonatal care to chat to other dads and share their experiences. If you are a dad who has experienced neonatal care in Greater Manchester you can request to join the group via this link Spoons Dads Facebook Group

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Neonatal Dads - Spoons Charity - Neonatal Family Support

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Neonatal dads can struggle with mental health on the unit or post discharge. We aim to support dads throughout the neonatal journey and beyond. Donate today

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How dads can look after their mental health.

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How dads can look after their mental health.

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In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with Scott Mair, Father's Mental Health trainer, campaigner and advocate, about how Dad's can look after their mental health when they have a new baby.

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In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with Scott Mair, Father's Mental Health trainer, campaigner and advocate, about how Dad's can look after their mental health when they have a new baby.
Episode highlights:

The importance of antenatal education and peer support for Father's

Paternal Depression and the statistics

The impact on Father's when being/working away from their babies

Advice for Dad's experiencing anxiety & depression

Support for Dad's (Dad Pad, Dad Matters, Psychotherapist for Father's, Nathan Alexander).

If you enjoyed this episode, please share with anyone you think would also enjoy it, and subscribe so you are notified as soon as I release a new episode. And if you'd like to learn more about me and how I can support you, click here!

You can also follow Scott on Instagram.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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hold the mother • episode 5: father's mental health podcast

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Hold The Mother * Episode 5: Father's Mental Health * Podcast Addict

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In this episode of Hold The Mother, I talk with Scott Mair, Father's Mental Health trainer, campaigner and advocate, about how Dad's can look after their mental health when they have a new baby.Episode highlights: The importance of antenatal education and peer support for Father'sPaternal Depression and the statisticsThe impact on Father's when being/working away from their babiesA

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How can dads be more involved during the pregnancy journey.

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How can dads be more involved during the pregnancy journey.

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How can dads be more involved in the pregnancy journey and the early stages of their child's life? This is a question we explore. We discuss the importance of engaging both parents from the beginning of the pregnancy, creating a level playing field for open communication, and understanding each other's roles and responsibilities.

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My name is Kelly Jean-Philippe and you are listening to the Welcome to Fatherhood podcast. Today's episode is the conclusion of my conversation with Scott Mayer. If this is your first time tuning into this podcast, I'd encourage you to listen to last week's episode first. Scott and I have been talking about ways maternity health care settings can better empower and involve dads, especially during the perinatal period, but also for what life may be like beyond.

So when we introduce the fact that say they can't attend, right, why can't they? we're doing it right now wakey-winky, different size of the pond. Why can't he just video call for five minutes and ask you any questions that he's got? Why can't he just jump in and listen to a little bit of the conversation? Or one of the other things that I designed was a little checklist of questions, so the midwife gives it, sends it home. Dad can write any concerns he's got. She brings it back next time Once those questions are answered. You've got a connection. You've got an invested father in the process now because he feels that he's been engaged. Sometimes the midwife will text and say hi, my name is Heidi, i'm going to be your midwife. I look forward to seeing you in clinic. That's what mom will receive. Send the same text to dad. If he feels invited, he's going to come. He's not going to come to a party He didn't invite him to, so let's invite him.

Thank you for tuning into this conversation and for spending part of your day with us. And now here's the episode.

So when we have dads in groups and we run the support groups that we run, these are the sort of things that you can word it a little bit differently. I'm really if you're a workman or a tradesman, for example, i'm a bit dirty, i'm a bit smelly, let me get a shower, then I'll take baby, and you go and do you, you know, but we don't teach you how to have that conversation, because the first thing is, oh, i'm tired of being at work all day. And then you've got an argument that didn't need to happen because both are primed to be on the defensive. It's a bit like when they get up in the morning and it becomes a competition for who's the most tired. You know who had the less sleep during the night? you know, rather than just communicating the fact that me, your parents, you're going to be tired for the next 20 years, you just got to accept it.

But these are all the effects of what we were talking about a little while ago. Right From the beginning, from the inception of this thing, there was already a power dynamic that was created just by the way that you were addressed. You know what I mean. Like like that already pinned you against each other. And so now and let's be honest about this, scott if the expectation is that this person is just like being in school and you're in a group project, if you find yourself as that lucky team member where the smartest one in your group says they're going to take responsibility for everything and all you got to do is just show up, stand there, look smart, and then the other person is going to put the project together, give the presentation, and you're all going to get an. A. Guess what I'm not going to do, scott? I'm not going to ask to be involved in any way because you say you got it. So, in a similar way, if the expectation has been said, you know what? you clearly don't have it, but she does, homie, i'm not excusing that as a reason to coast. It's not a reason to coast because I think, as a man, as a husband, as a father, as a partner, you still have a responsibility to step up of your own character, your own will, your own desire to want to do things. But I'm not going to look down condescendingly on the dude who's like they've been communicating to me for the past nine, 10 months that I don't have a role in this thing, an equal role in this thing. So I'm coasting And, yeah, when we wake up in the morning, it's not been ingrained in my mind for the past 10, 11, 12, 13 months. Now it's your responsibility because clearly you know what you're doing. Clearly you're the one to have the more sophisticated develop skillset. Clearly you're the one. So I'm just trying to sleep in for a little while. You're tired, but, yeah, i'll hold the baby for you to go use the bathroom. But when you come out, here's your child back, because clearly I don't have anything to do here. And I know I'm oversimplifying it, but you can't tell me that part of that messaging doesn't have far reaching tentacles in the way that this relationship ends up unfolding Now that baby's here. So all of these problems that we have postnatally that you come across in terms of the dads that you speak with and how they manifest themselves in different areas of life Now that you have a baby in my mind at least in the way that my simple mind works, scott I can just turn around, look back and say, oh, it started right there from the beginning.

Again and one of the things that some of the research that I've done in this area, so I know I've seen both sides. I've seen the change And if we engage with both parents, whatever those both parents are is irrelevant, right. So you engage from the very, very beginning. So in the UK we have what we call booking appointment, which is your first appointment with a midwife when you found out you're pregnant. Sometimes they will go to the doctors and they will do a confirmation pregnancy test, but when they go for the first appointment, dad tries to go in the work that I've done, not always. Sometimes they can't. If it's 10 o'clock on a Tuesday is it work. Sometimes it's very, very difficult. So when we introduce the fact that say they can't attend, right, why can't they? we're doing it right now. We're communicating from different sides of the pond. Why can't he just video call for five minutes and ask you any questions that he's got? Why can't he just jump in and listen to a little bit of the conversation? Or one of the other things that I designed was a checklist of questions, so the midwife gives it, sends it home. Dad can write any concerns he's got. She brings it back next time once those questions are Answered. You've got a connection. You've got an invested father in the process now because he feels that he's been engaged. Sometimes the midwife will text and say hi, my name is Heidi, i'm your new, i'm gonna be your midwife. I look forward to seeing you in clinic. That's what mom will receive. Send the same text to dad. If he feels invited, he's gonna come. He's not gonna come to a party didn't invite him to, so let's invite him. And When we see those things happen, the uptake increases. And then what happens is you have fathers that are more involved during the pregnancy. They will come to the parent education classes. They will come to the antenatal programs a little bit more. You'll even see them in clinic appointments because they now feel they're supposed to be there. So you'll take the time off work if he can. What he won't do is take Unpaid time off work to come to a clinic that you didn't invite him to. That he's gonna sit there and not be spoken to because he can't afford it and He won't do it, and then you'll blame him for not doing it. So it's not trying to make more work for healthcare professionals, me. I understand that. Everything I do is trying to simplify it for everybody. And it's just that you're already doing the work, so you engage it. And the other thing that I'll say on that, which I think is massively important and Any dad I ever speak to I encourage two things during pregnancy. There's lots I encourage, but these are the two non-negotiables from my point of view try and attend The scans at least one of the scans, as early as possible. And the reason I say that is that For most men, because of the way that we think, because of how we process and we are practical, we're tangible. But until you hear that heartbeat, this pregnancy is not real. Hmm, because there's nothing to connect to. All you're connecting to is two lines on a stick. It's not happening to you. There's no hormone changes, there's no connection. So a lot of dads that we did in the research, they almost Fake it. So they'll go out and buy their favorite football jersey, or over here, they'll get rugby chops, or they'll go and buy a little Jordan sneakers. Whatever it might be, it's fake, it's. This is what I think I've got to do because she's so excited. That's what lots of fathers have told me when I've interviewed them. When they go and they hear they have to be Time to go to work. There's a connection there. I'm gonna be a dad. There's a connection. So during COVID that was limited and we've seen the impact that had because they didn't have that connection. So I try and encourage that as much as possible. And the other thing is to talk to baby. While babies in the womb Talk to the belly as much as you possibly can. I don't care what you tell them And whether it's the sports pages from the paper, whether it's you're reading emails. So what I used to sort of suggest during classes is that they would lie on their partner's lap and They would speak up through the bumps of the voice travels, so the baby could get used to the voice. And you use a language and a tone that you're going to use every day. Lots of people will suggest that you read nursery rhymes. That's fantastic, but we're not Mary Poppins. You don't walk around all day using nursery rhymes, so you've got to use a language that baby's gonna understand. You can't use a tone, yeah, that they associate with, and the research indicates me that if you put a newborn baby up to sort of six weeks old and In a room with five males and their father was one of those five and they spoke to them in the womb. The baby can pick out their father's voice. So that's how important this is. They have that connection, yeah, so when they hold baby in the very, very beginning and this is the biggest resistance that I see from new dads, that Even the services not engaging, they've not been engaged that all adds to this, but this is the main issue that I see why fathers will start to disengage. They hold baby in the first few hours, first day or two days, whatever it might be. Baby cries And I think, as a dad with all been there, right, give baby back to mom, stops instantly. Take baby back. Baby cries and you almost can play past the parcel and What we then see is that my baby hates me. Why does my baby always cry when I hold? it hates me. And when you have this conversation with fathers and you say, no, it's not, you're a stranger. Baby doesn't know who you are yet because you've not connected with them. They know mom because the sounds, the smell of the heartbeat, that is safety, that is where they want to be. They don't know you yet. So if you've got, your biggest asset is your voice, because that's the only thing you can transfer into that womb. Talk to them. You can't not always, but and once baby starts to calm, you're not as tense and as rigid which we normally are as new dads. Babies don't like that, so the more you can relax and soothe them and talk to them and sing to them and all these great things, they will relax to you once you feel that connection and then you can start studying baby as it sleeps. You know, you can watch, so you know what each cry means, because everyone that's been a parent knows is a different cry for Hungry and where and colicky wind, whatever it might be. As you start to know what the baby needs, your confidence grows. As your confidence goes, your bond with the baby will grow and then you'll want to spend more time with the baby. If you don't think you've been involved and engaged and you don't have that connection and you just give baby to mom all Of the time and you don't bond with baby, that divide becomes bigger and you're less likely to engage. And my things? I always try and encourage us during the first week. I call it the golden week. I wish in an ideal world and COVID did this for us and I will. I will shop a minute, but And COVID did this for us me that you could lock the world out and all you had was you, mom and baby in many situations and you could fit. You didn't have the overpowering in laws coming around telling you how you were doing it wrong. You didn't have the anti jasmine that was coming around saying no, no, no, don't do that. Or people saying that you're changing baby too slow or that, give it, give it here, i'll do that, i'll show you. There was just you and you could figure out and i wish i could give that to every parent that for the first seven days it was just them. And forget the washing up or the takeout, whatever, i don't care. Spend time, the free of you as a baby, figuring out what this looks like. That changes everything when we give parents the freedom to do that.

The problem is we don't do that enough that was the gift that kovat gave me in my life. I mean and i say that respectfully of everyone's experience, negative experience of kovat who lost a loved one or you know people that was the gift that we were gifted with our firstborn in the hospital. Once i got in the hospital i couldn't leave, so i had to make sure that once we walked in there, i was there those first days in the hospital when it was just the three of us man, golden and then we come home. Yeah, we had support and it's so important to have support. My in-laws would come and drop food at the front door and we would wake up and there was food at the front door and then we'll just grab it and eat. So it was amazing my sister and my brother-in-law they drove over 16 hours to come and spend like a couple of days with us just for support. Um, i think i shared this on here before my son was born on a tuesday, that friday, when we left the hospital, my wife and i left the hospital with our newborn to go to the uh veterinary hospital to put down her dog. So had it not been for the support of my sister and my brother-in-law who were there to take the dog to the vet and help us weather that storm like it was just a mess and this was a dog that my wife had.

Can i just add? sorry, man, yeah, i always get amazed when i speak to people in the states. Yeah, talk about that 16 hours. Right, you could drive the whole length of the u k in 10 hours, top to bottom done. Maybe a little bit less if you put that foot down, but yeah, 10 hours, you've done the whole of the u k. That's crazy.

Yeah, 16 hours, 16 hours 16 hours dude yeah, well, fairly yeah uh, i once drove from philadelphia, where i live, to michigan, where i went to grad school, in 11 and a half hours non-stop, except for gasoline and stuff yeah, that is crazy.

No, you're right. You're right that the support and i see this again and when i speak to people that take that we're all very proud, particularly dads, i find and this again is sexist, but it's just what the research tells me is that we don't want anybody to think that we're maybe not coping. All that stuff we touched on the cooking, the cleaning and all that. I did this and i remember doing this, particularly with my first. I didn't want anybody to come around and think it. It looked like things were out of place because seara wasn't able to do it and we've always tried to show. I mean, i've always tried to be. It's close to 50 50 but, like i said, it's really really difficult. Yeah, we don't have gender roles in my house and we've talked about this. I have on podcasts before that my boys will come into the kitchen sometimes, you know, and one of my boys especially me being ex-military, i know how to sew. I'm not great. My wife is technically a seamstress. I mean, she could make anything. She's incredible. Um, she's a bit annoying like that. She's just everything she does, she's brilliant and she can it annoys me a lot right, but so i was stitching i think it was a something had been ripped and i was stitching it and i was cooking dinner and, um, i mentioned before that i've got injuries, um, from my time in in in the military and i was having a particular. In the winter, everything flares up because it's cold yeah i couldn't quite get down and we had a leak under the sink in the kitchen. So there's my wife got a lover fixing the sink and there's me sewing and cooking dinner, you know and it was like to my boys. That's just normal, you know. So we've never really been. This is what dad does, is what one does. It's just i don't think a lot of families quite work like that. I think, yeah, it's just you, you muck in, you get on with it, and one day you're doing this, next day you're doing it. That's how it works for most and that's how it works for us. Um, and you know, i have that conversation with my boys, so it's not like that. But i did struggle with the fact i didn't want anybody thinking that things weren't as good because Sarah wasn't able to do it and i became a little bit neurotic with me and sure everything was almost in its place and didn't want to take that help. You know, if somebody wanted to drop me off a lasagna, it's oh no, it's okay, i've got it, don't worry. And i try and tell new parents that take it, take that help, because anything that you're not doing in that domain gives you more time with baby, with with your partner, and i have another rule, that that. I always try and say it, but it's a bit unfair and it's a bit. Yeah, it is. But if, if somebody is coming to see you and you've just had a baby, if they're not bringing something or they're coming to do something, they shouldn't come. I agree with that, because it it shouldn't be a case of you're coming around, i'm going to make you a coffee and give you a muffin and wait on you while you hold my baby. If you're coming, take some laundry, do some dishes or bring me some groceries, um, or don't come, and and that's sort of the measures that i get. Obviously it's difficult when you've got certain family members, but people will help. They just sometimes don't know how to to do it, so you can ask. You know, if someone's coming. Can you please pick me up x, y and z, or would you mind taking some laundry and washing, because you're going to go through 10 million baby growers in a week. You know, take that help, take that support. I think we're too proud sometimes and it doesn't serve as well. You know they say that pride comes before a fall and i think when it comes to parenting, sometimes it really does, because you burn yourself out yeah, i agree with that.

I agree with that 100 percent. And i i want to go back to the notion that all of these things that we've just spoken about, particularly in these last 10 minutes or so, i think all of that has its root and the way that the whole journey began in the first place. Right, i mean part of it is sort of the culture, you know, the, the man's culture of wanting to take charge and wanting to do things and always knowing how to do things, you know, like that kind of stuff and not really being willing to say i don't know how to do that, or asking for, for that help. But the other part also comes down to man. If i have this person come over to the house and they're doing laundry, they're gonna look at me and say, well, why can't you do laundry? you know what are you here for? so she had to carry your child, she had to give birth to your child, she had to. I mean, dude, i mean, it's true, it's true, i'm absolutely true, you know so then i don't want to hear that i'm not gonna tell my mother-in-law not to come to the crib, so but i also know when she comes she might say that and i'm not saying that about my mother-in-law, i have great in-laws that i love and respect very much and they're not those type of people. But it's like If that's what I'm gonna have to go to or through, when somebody comes to the house and they're gonna look at me like I've just been, like I'm just taking up space, i'm a space eater. Basically, that's all I am. So, yeah, i am gonna deny the help, i'm just not gonna give it to it because but I'm struggling and I'm trying to bond with my baby, i'm not having sex with my wife, like. So it's a whole convoluted mess that I really think there is no simple solution to anything. Scott, at least I don't think so for some things. Yeah, maybe, but there is no simple solution to anything. But one thing that can really help is just coming down to like the most basic comedy nominator. How are we setting up this couple to have clear, honest, open communication? How are we setting up this couple to see what each of them have to bring to the table as equally valuable, not in a 50-50 way, the way me and my wife function. We are fully aware of our backgrounds in history. So you say you've known your wife since 16. I've known my wife since as far back as I can remember. We were both kids. We were raised together like that kind of stuff. So I married a very good friend of mine who is now my best friend as my wife. I know what her family structure and history has been. She knows what mine is. She thrives in structure and stability. I thrive in chaos and YOLO. Like that's just me.

That's just me.

Listen. so when we are in chaos and things are falling apart, i tell her listen, babe, i got this, don't even worry about it. I will navigate us through this because through life I've learned how to make lemonade out of mangoes.

That's just what I do. That's just what I do, and when things are steady and structured.

I give the reins over to her Like look, you listen. Finances, it's in your hands. You figure out how to do these things, because I get bored in structure and stability. I get bored when things are chaotic. Dude, i am having the time of my life. I am stressed, i am worried, but I am at home. So that makes sense to our dynamics and to who we are, and that's how we've been able to keep this ship afloat this whole time. We're playing to our strengths, right. So how are we helping families, new parents, repeat parents, come to that level of understanding? And I think it all starts with in these spaces that you work in and the spaces that these couples go into, whether they're together as like a married couple or a co-parent, it doesn't matter what is being communicated, and I think that's for me that's like the biggest takeaway of our conversation today. What is being communicated? Not with the words and stuff, although that's a huge part of it, but on the more deeply psyche, psychological level. What is being communicated? Because the images that are not seen, it's a means of communication. The images that are there in those spaces, it's a means of communication. Giving a resource or resources to one and not the other is communicating something. Everything is communicating everything. So how can we equal the playing field to communicate to men and fathers, outside of the fact that we need to take on some ownership, a lot of ownership ourselves, to step up to the plate and stuff? That's a given, but man, wouldn't it be a lot more effective and efficient if there was also all of the external stuff that plays into how we see our selves and how we move about how we present, how we navigate the spaces. Wouldn't it be awesome if those means of communication, empowered, facilitated this desire? And to me that's like the biggest takeaway from our conversation today, brother.

Well.

I agree with you.

And it's not difficult. You've got to start somewhere right And we are lucky, particularly in the UK, i think we are having conversations more in this area. There's obviously other countries, for example Australia, doing some fantastic words. Yes, certain parts of Scandinavia are leading the way, particularly when they have shared parental leave that both parents can get up to a year in certain parts, particularly Norway, which is incredible. But they see the benefits because you have children that are more rounded, there's less need for other services, speech and language incarceration numbers are down because children get more time with their parents and they don't have the same worries of going straight back to work. And it's funded at 90% And people used to complain when they introduced it in certain areas that where are you going to find the funding to do this? Well, we're going to find it off the back end because we're not going to need as much intervention and there's going to be less breakdown in relationships because we equalize parenting. So it's looking at the big picture, which is parenting, and I think you're absolutely right And it's the same you mentioned about the leaflets and the information that they give out, and there's a few different organizations and charities that I work with here in the UK that do do stuff specific for dads now And it's trying to encourage the healthcare professionals to even just give it. You haven't got to do anything, just put your hand it over. And that's a difficult part and one of the things that you touched on the feeding and all the information that they give. But it took me a long time. I remember when my wife was breastfeeding our first and I don't want to go down to negative root, but you know that the services were quite hard to engage with and you can get something as a breastfeeding And it's called mastitis, which is blocked. It's a kind of a block of blood that's blocked in the milk ducts and it becomes infected. It's very painful And I remember my wife was struggling and we joked that she went from being Sarah to Dolly Parton overnight. That's pretty much what happened And she was in agony and I phoned up the nurse and I said what can I do to help her? Nothing, i thought, oh, great, thanks, that's really helpful. Over the years, the things that I did, i documented and I come up with like a little Program on how dads and partners could be more involved with the process of breastfeeding, how they could help them, and And I went to the healthcare professional said this is something that I put together and On how dads can be involved in the process to help to support. Because what we don't want to do is because if someone wants the breastfeeding They can't. That's a shame. If someone doesn't want to breastfeed, they shouldn't have to. If somebody tries it and it's not for them, that's fine. But if you've got a poor mom who's sat there and it's sore, it's uncomfortable, babies not getting enough milk maybe, and she sat there crying at two o'clock in the morning, you need to equip that partner or that dad how he supports her through that facts rather than just expecting How to figure out on his own, on her own and him not knowing what to do. So teach him that. And I what river with a midwife once and and I had a Disagreep of this on an open zoom forum and And because there was a dad and he did a job. It was like a tree, it was a tree surgeon, that's what he was. He was a tree surgeon and he said my job is very demanding, it's quite dangerous. I don't want to be tired going to work. If you got any advice? And and his wife was a breast feeder and the midwife said, yeah, go and sleep in another room. And I thought, oh my god. And I said I'm sorry, but that's just the worst advice of her in a long time, because one it splits them up and it leaves her to have to deal with that on her own When she sat. And she sat and then you're looking at problems with her mental health because she's going to become very sad and very upset very quickly and He's not getting time. Babies do wonderful things. It took like in the morning, killer, you know, yeah, and they you could sit and you can play with them. So there's his time bonding with the baby. There's them sat, bonding together and learning how to support each other. Yeah, you take that away when you separate them and leave her to just feed. So it's not like I say, it's not always about making sure that we include dad for dad. It's the fact that we do it so that they can support their partner and We we're getting a bit better in certain areas and here in in the UK, part of our national health service or the NHS, for anybody that doesn't know, so our healthcare system We now have what we call the long-term plan. Now what that means is that we have special mental health services, which I know you don't necessarily have In certain parts of the States. But so if you've got a mother During pregnancy so what we call the perinatal period, which is from conception to the first birthday It's now it being extended to the second birthday, okay, anything in that is called the perinatal period if you've got a mother who is experiencing problems with her mental health So by that we mean postnatal depression, postnatal anxiety, psychosis, ocd, all the very extreme mental illnesses then they will have a specialist team That will help them through that and you'll get some women that have maybe got PTSD from a traumatic buff. They will help you through the next pregnancy and just give you that little bit of extra support. It's brilliant when it works. The only real flaw with it Which we can't be too critical because lots of countries don't even have it is that You have to be on the extreme end if you're the mild to moderate and you don't have any access to that And you just sort of fall through the wave a little bit, which is sad. But so if you've got a mom and it's only open to mom and dad It's not open to same-sex couples and trans parents at the moment, but so we just have moms and dads. If mom's being screened for her mental health and she's going through that service, they will screen dad at the same time now, so he will get the same support, he will have a mental health assessments and it will help him move forward, which is a massive step, you know, because we weren't doing that before. We now have that. So that is a sort of thing That's coming in place. It's starting to open up other supports and organizations and groups. When I first really started, it's only been three or four years since we really started having these conversations at the level that I do now. In that three or four years we've come forward massively in terms of you know, there was people that Hospitals, local level, what we call local authorities, which is a bit like states. We would be going to the heads and saying, these, this is what you've got to do for family services, and It was sort of falling on deaf ears. Those people are now coming back and saying remember, we had that conversation, i will, maybe we could do it. So there's pressure. Problem is with many places when it comes to family services, me is that People don't want to do it until they have to do it And that's the bit that we wait for and, unfortunately, with healthcare providers, that's just a universal thing. I think that we all have that issue when, when you have to do something, it's a bit like it's completely off topic, but it's something that I did a little bit of work on is like the opiate crisis, for example, which you know all about. In this case, you know that wasn't an issue until it had to be addressed, and or it was an issue. They just didn't see it as an issue and we had it here, and you know some of the stories. One of the one of the groups that I ran and Although I do run is for frontline fathers, so that military place, fire paramedics and anybody that is in a uniform, basically that can sometimes see the worst The unkind has to offer and then has to go home and make peanut butter sandwiches. You know that that switch is sometimes quite difficult. So I created a platform where they can sort of come and express and and talk about it and and It gets a little bit more support now. You know, different organisations are starting to see the benefit and the importance of maybe including dads and supporting glad. So I know we're ahead of you. I know that from the work that I've done with various organisations. But you know it is, i think it's common. I think that that change I just get upset sometimes makes it. It doesn't seem to come quickly enough. You know, and you as well. You know, you see the work that you're doing and you know in the podcast, the fathers that you speak to and Highlighting it and Travis you know you've already mentioned Travis. Travis does great works. We know that the impact it has and the damage that it does and unfortunately, a depressed or an anxious father is Much less likely to engage and play with these children and that is very sad because what we see as, and a dad goofing off, you know, blowing raspberries on his babies, told me. Or his toddlers, told me, chasing them around and Playing with them. We've always just thought that's dad cloning around, you know. But there is real proof now that there is massive impact on the child's development from having that interaction, what we call rough and tumble play. So when you know this, you've got little ones. But you know, when you tickle a child There's a point where it's not funny anymore, you know, and it becomes sore or they cry. They don't like it. That's them learning boundaries. That's them learning controlled aggression and other people's space and the fact that what they might find upsetting Somebody else might not. They learn that they learn about self-esteem From the language that their father uses. So if you've got a dad that's depressed and anxious and he's maybe had a tough time in the world I get a lot of this from the front line fathers as well Is that they try and prepare, particularly fathers and sons. They try and prepare them for the big bad world. It's been so hard on them as a man, so they use more negative language. They see it as constructive criticism, but the child sees it as they're just being put down all the time and they're being compared to others. And it's why are you not on the football team? like little Tommy down a road? Why did you only get five on your maths assessment? You know, rather than oh my god, you got five, well done, or you might not like football. Let's find something else that, like you know, it's that different language that a father that's depressed has. So services that don't engage with fathers, they're just creating this problem to continue that we need to correct it. So it's not just about For the sake of the dad that we include them, it's for the whole family There is. We know the benefits. It's just getting people to put these things in place and there's so much resistance To the extra work. And it's not extra work because if you engage of a dad that then Engages with his child and he develops that nurturing nature, so the child believes in themselves. They've got high self-esteem. They know about boundaries, they know about all the things we've discussed today about relationships. They learned about the difference of gender, gender equality and what real masculinity looks like. Forget this toxic crap that we hear about. And positive masculinity, it is all just masculinity and we see it in all different forms. When we teach that to the next generation, they won't be having these conversations, hopefully, if we get it right.

But we need everybody to sing off the same hymn sheet or it will never happen brother, listen, i can't tell you how much I appreciate the time that we've spent in conversation and the array of topics that We've covered, which isn't really an array of topics We've spoken about the same thing in just different facets, so That's been really cool. Can you let people know how to get and contact with you if anyone Wants to contact you directly to join any of the groups that you run? So give us a sense of some of the Groups that you run, efforts that you're in so that, and how people can get and contact with you should anyone want to follow up.

Okay, thanks, Yeah, so the. The three easiest ways of doing it is through Instagram. I have an account called PMH support It's just put on mental health And on Twitter. Anyways, on Twitter I'm Scott, mayor 9. The 9 is for me, sarah, 7 boys and The. The group that I just mentioned, that I run and for the front line fathers, is called fathers beacon, as in beacon of light, and so any one of those things on on social media I'm on most platforms It's Scott may well would link you, you all, to it. But yeah, the PMH support is the group that I for civilians, and the father's beacon is the one for anybody that works on the front.

I appreciate you so much, man. Thank you for taking the time, thank you for the work that you've been doing, thank you for being you and for allowing your life story to shape what you are doing now, for allowing your life story to keep evolving, who you are becoming and who you're discovering yourself to be I mean that's, we all need to go through that journey, i think. In some ways, i think we all are going through that journey. It's just a matter of embracing it. So thank you for again spending the time and for the conversation. Brother, thanks for having me on. Take care of yourself there. You do the same man.

Thank you.

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S4E20: Empowering Dads: Involving Fathers in the Journey (ft. Scott Mair) - Welcome To Fatherhood

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This episode concludes my conversation with Scott Mair. How can dads be more involved in the pregnancy journey and the early stages of their child's life? This is a question we explore. We discuss the importance of engaging both parents from the b...

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All too often, husbands and partners are overlooked when it comes to providing support and information on mental health. Evidence suggests that the risk factors, and impact, of perinatal mental health are reduced when mums have a supportive partner. Furthermore, fathers can develop 'perinatal mental health' problems (either as a result of their spouse's/partner's illness or independently). There is often little guidance available for men to understand the causes, risk factors, treatments and prognosis of perinatal mental illness, quite apart from what support they can give to their partner. Fathers also need information on how to improve their own mental health. On this page, you will find some information about the latest campaigns that I am involved with, some media stories that have been run about that, and an overview of resources and support for fathers.

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Fathers mental health - Dr Andrew Mayers

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This page describes the work I do for fathers' mental health, focusing on education, research, campaigning and advisory roles

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I've had the pleasure of collaborating with Scott previously on Instagram several times in the parental mental health & advocacy space.

As I mentioned in my previous blog, Scott is an avid parental mental health campaigner and advocate. Both Scott and Mark Willams, a keynote speaker, author and international campaigner, conducted a recent qualitative study and surveyed 261 participants on the impact on fathers & birth partner mental health and emotional wellbeing during the perinatal period.*

Some findings:

82% felt stressed, anxious, or depressed during the perinatal period*

66.3% increased alcohol intake, feeling less motivated*

77.8% were not asked about their mental wellbeing*

If hindsight is 20/20, what could have helped these fathers & partners? According to the survey, fathers & partners would have like more parental resources in the following categories:

Professional support: 21.3%* (healthcare specialist engagement, enhanced / regular mental health screening measures)

Online support: 17.7%*

Education: 18.9%* (child-related & parental role)

Information: 22.4%* (on child-related and parenting-related topics)

Support groups: 19.1%*

During my interview, I wanted to gather Scott's insight on some of the biggest hurdles he sees (or hears from others) during the perinatal period and how we can both better support our partners while also properly looking out for ourselves. Here's an excerpt from our 5-question interview below:
1. What are the benefits of being an engaged father within the home? And for the family?
Scott: There are to many benefits to list but I will provide you my favourites... Mirror the man you want your son to be! As a father of 7 sons, I have high hopes that they will be engaged fathers and supportive partners. Our children don't always listen to us (most of us know this) but they are always watching- so when I am physically absent, when I prioritize my feelings above theirs, or if disrespectful... they are watching and observing.

Now, we can't always be perfect and that leads to to my next point.

The honest and engaged father may "drop the ball" sometimes, but don't blame others. Repair, accept your wrongdoings, and allow your children to see when you show up. Demonstrate that there are times when you need to make time to invest in your own wellbeing and focus on yourself- this doesn't mean neglecting them. Show them that you respect them enough to be honest.

Finally, being a father is the greatest gift I've ever been given and my wife Sarah gave that to me- I would never want her to feel like this is a journey she is on alone. The responsibility of childcare, household tasks, life, medical needs, and educational needs are not solely hers- they are shared. I have the pleasure and privilege of being present, nurturing and teaching our children. These responsibilities are not chores, they are choices that I intentionally make. I chose to start a family with her and I choose to raise them. If we want our children to mirror us, we must make deliberate, intentional choices.

2. How has your experience in the delivery room changed or shaped the way that you contribute or parent? Have subsequent birth experiences changed / altered the way you parent or how you contribute?

In my opinion, C0VID-19 and the restrictions highlighted what some parents have missed out on- being present during the birthing experience and the profound impact that can have on a couple and on a family. Having witnessed what my wife experienced while bringing my boys into the world, I developed a newfound respect for her! We met at age 16 and we've been together for 24 years; with each birthing experience, I was more in awe of her. Following the first birth, I knew I would move heaven & earth for her. I want to ensure that she knows this everyday. I am so grateful for her and for the health of our boys. Things got hairy at times. As the saying goes, "it's the most natural thing you can do!"- I don't buy that. It's the most selfless thing you can do. The chances of them even being here are so minute that I knew I wanted to spend every second I could with them.

3. What type of postpartum support did your wife / yourself receive? Did you find it helpful? And if it lacked at all, what do you wish you had known / learned to help?

In the UK, we are blessed with what we call Health Visitors and the Midwife comes to check on the birth parent in the beginning. There isn't always much support for dads and partners. I do wish there were more opportunities for dads & partners to express their parental concerns and to gather supportive parental resources as it's a difficult time for all. I will say, knowing how to best support my wife is the one component that stands out; you are told that "it is your job" but not given any guidance on how to do it. Then, when you "fail" at it or if you struggle, society then considers you "an absent, distant or deadbeat dad". If we support all parents with adequate education and support, we provide children with the best possible outcome in life and that is something we should all strive for!

4. Why do you work in this specialty? Why does this work matter to you?

I work as a trainer in paternal mental health and also provide community support (i.e. antenatal classes for dads, peer support). The reason it matters so much to me is because every child deserves the best possible outcome and, when possible, we should aim to keep families together. Understanding what new fathers are going through, like the hormonal changes (testosterone dropping by up to a third), dealing with ACEs from childhood, managing there own mental health issues, and / or diagnoses of bipolar depression or ADHD/ASD can all be triggering and cause new fathers to be anxious or depressed. When they are, they less likely to read, engage in play, dance & sing with their children. Having an engaged, invested father that does (even some) of these things can enhance child development- anything ranging from higher attainment academically to more emotionally resilient, developing stronger social skills, even higher ability to problem solve & manage aggression. If parent-specific clinicians provided more tools in these categories to fathers & partners, it could increase paternal engagement. Also, we could have more informed discussions with our children about dismantling typical gender roles & responsibilities within the home.

5. Why is community 'care' so important for parents (or fathers in particular)?

Community is paramount to family success. As a society, we talk about the "village it's takes"- many people sit and wait for the village to arrive and it doesn't, leaving them feeling isolated. I feel all professionals and even society as a whole needs to be "the village" and put the children centre stage. Let's build out from the child and make sure they have a voice, that they are heard and supported. By equipping both parents mentally and emotionally, it helps develop mentally and emotionally-equipped children. Create relationships with both parents when applicable. Incarcerated parents and enlisted military overseas can work on ways to be involved with the child's life & development and are often overlooked. These are things that I do and have seen it accomplished, we just need to think outside of the box. The role of a father has changed and evolved over the past 20+ years; rather than hiding behind traditions and mistakes let's stand beside the family and meet individual needs. I can say that I have changed as well.

Sources:

https://cdn.dad.info/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/I-AM-A-PARENT-NOT-IN-FECTION-RISK-10.10.22.pdf

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Postpartum Parenting and Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders - Parent Suitcase

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Today, Parent Suitcase teamed up with Parental Mental Health Advocate Scott Mair for an interview on postpartum partner support & perinatal / postpartum mood and anxiety disorders. Parent Suitcase (PS) is a community for parents everywhere, facing various struggles and circumstances. We offer pr

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Breastfeeding how you can support your partner.

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Breastfeeding how you can support your partner.

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Leeds Dads is a voluntary organisation that brings together a diverse community of fathers for social interaction and support.

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I was a bit scared when we found out we were having a baby, obviously happy, but a bit scared and in the beginning I was a bit clueless. The child development part is my favourite bit, but there's things in there, like things about mental health, that I didn't know about and that I didn't know you needed to know about.

Ross, 22

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DadPad | The Essential Guide for New Dads | Support Guide for New Dads

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I was a bit scared when we found out we were having a baby, obviously happy, but a bit scared and in the beginning I was a bit clueless. The child development part is my favourite bit, but there's things in there, like things about mental health, that I didn't know about and that I didn't know you needed to know about.

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What do new and expectant fathers need to help them on their journey into parenthood? There's a lot to learn and potential stressors like sleep deprivation or financial insecurity mean it can be a pretty challenging time.

There's no doubt that babies bring changes. So dads need support - just like mums - to enable them to navigate their way through. We know from working with fathers' mental health experts and campaigners likeMark Williams,Scott MairandAndy Mayersthat one really important area is enabling fathers to look after their mental health and wellbeing. It's also vital that dads know where to go to get help if needed.

Sadly, depression in new and expectant dads is higher than you might think, with around one in ten dadsaffected, according to one large study [1].

More support, better screening programmes and mental health services are very much needed. And this year on International Fathers' Mental Health day we have news of some free support available to dads from July onwards.

Here at Best Beginnings we have long held an ambition to work with more closely with fathers. So we're delighted to be on the verge of launching a new version of our Baby Buddy app. It's going to be the world's first app offering daily information updates for dads (and mums!) all the way from conception up until when their baby reaches 1 year old.

It's been a great partnership project, drawing on the expertise of organisations who work closely with dads. We've spent a lot of time, together with , talking to new and expectant fathers to get a better understanding of the challenges they are facing. And we commissioned the to write the entries in the app.

Dads from a wide range of backgrounds shared their stories about the challenges they face, including the impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic:

"I've struggled quite a bit mentally. I was sleep deprived and down in the dumps. The health visitor always asked my partner how she was doing. I know this sounds awfully selfish but I was trying to get help too. I needed someone to speak to."
Father to baby born March 2020 (3 days pre-Lockdown), 36 years old

"Exclusion of dads causes unnecessary stress and worry and makes expecting mums feel unsupported and dads unvalued. Encouragement and support for dads to be involved at every stage is very important."
Father to baby born during Lockdown, 32 years old

There's no doubt that when fathers have been excluded from antenatal appointments, and sometimes even from labour and birth, during this last year it has had big impacts on both mums and dads.

Dads have also told us about their challenges related to financial pressures and job insecurity, juggling family time and work, the return to work and the impact this has on bonding with the baby. Many dads were worried about a decline in the relationship with their partner outside of communication about their baby's needs. Dads also reported feeling side-lined by healthcare professionals who sometimes don't address or include dads at appointments, while some dads felt side-lined at home by their partner or family.

The new Baby Buddy app is designed to support dads to be confident and engaged as parents, to strengthen family relationships and the father-baby bond. We share a wealth of practical tips and learning to take dads every step of the way through pregnancy, childbirth and caring for a newborn.

Bite-sized resources also help dads to prioritise their health and wellbeing. We invite dads to check-in with their feelings, give tips on nurturing positive relationships and encourage ways to avoid feeling side-lined.

One crucial part of the support we are giving involves enabling mums and dads to both be alert to changes in each other's mood and to take action. Sometimes all that's needed is a bit of rest, to make time to talk, or simply to take some deep breaths.

At other times dads and mums alike will need more help. Checklists can help parents to spot the signs of mental ill-health, while signposts sharing resources online help them to know that they are not alone and help is out there. We also encourage parents to seek support at an early stage by reaching out to their GP or health visitor.

With around one in ten dads suffering depression it's vital that dads feel confident to ask for help. Together with other fathers' organisations and campaigners we're working to address the stigma around mental ill-health and to help dads to see that there is a way through.

If you'd like to register to test drive the new Baby Buddy app before it is launched, please register your interest .

Sources of help and information
If you have been experiencing symptoms of depression over two weeks or more it's important to talk to your midwife, health visitor or GP.

If you're in emotional pain or a crisis, you can receive free 24/7 confidential support via the Baby Buddy Crisis Text Messenger.

You can find out more about depression and men from the Royal College of Psychiatrists

You can also get help and support at MIND (www.mind.org.uk helpline 0300 123 3393 or text 86463), PANDAS (www.pandasfoundation.org.uk helpline 0843 2898401), APNI www.apni.org, helpline 0207 386 0868) or Dads Matter UK. www.dadsmatteruk.org/

Blog by Best Beginnings Content Lead, Nicola Cadbury

[1]Paulson, J F, Blazemore, S D (2010) Prenatal and postpartum depression in fathers and its association with maternal depression: A meta-analysis . JAMA, 303(19), 1961-1969.

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What do new and expectant fathers need to help them on their journey into parenthood? There's a lot to learn and potential stressors like sleep deprivation or financial insecurity mean it can be a pretty challenging time. More support, better screening programmes and mental health services are very much needed.

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DadPad launches, Mental Health, News

Posted on 8th October 2021

DadPad launches, Mental Health, News

Posted on 8th October 2021

After months of working with the fab Health Visiting Team within South Warwickshire NHS Foundation Trust (SWFT), we were delighted to be able to 'go live' with our first app in the Midlands on Monday 27 September. This one was particularly special for Julian, being a Midlands native himself, and we're looking forward to being able to roll DadPad out to other Trusts in this area over the coming months and years. For now, though, dads-to-be and new dads in Warwickshire, Solihull and Coventry are able to download the app - which, like all our apps, has been adapted to include bespoke, localised content - onto their phones or tablets via our app page link.

The launch of each new DadPad app is always a cause for celebration, as it means that more men will be getting access to vital information, advice and support on all aspects of new parenthood, and not just on baby care basics, such as feeding, crying, holding, washing, sleep, and nappy change.

Even better news, though, is the fact that we have teamed up with our good friend and fellow Paternal Mental Health Alliance board member, Scott Mair, to support the DadPad across Warwickshire. Scott is himself the dad of seven boys and also the founder of PMH Support. He works closely with healthcare professionals and maternity units in and around Warwickshire and the West Midlands, offering support for paternal mental health, as well as educating parents and professionals on the importance and benefits of supporting parental mental health.

Scott Mair

Scott and Julian were invited to speak about the Warwickshire DadPad on the local radio station (BBC CWR) and Scott helped explain why resources like DadPad - which focus on giving dads confidence and a voice in relation to all things perinatal - are so important:

The transition into parenthood... is HUGE and probably the most difficult thing we ever do. And we don't talk about it. We don't talk about the fact that we all find it difficult so when you talk to your friends and your peers - and even your family - we sometimes do ourselves a disservice because we don't talk about the fact that we find it difficult. We paint this picture about how easy we find it, so we struggle to have that conversation, particularly as dads.

Dads' mental health (still) matters

One of DadPad's core aims has always been to raise awareness of perinatal mental health issues that can arise in both mum and dad. In relation to the latter, we strive to share the message that dads can and do suffer with poor mental health around the time of the birth and beyond, and that it is therefore essential that they not only know what signs and symptoms to look out for in themselves, but also what to do and where to go if they think that they are struggling.

Just last week, an article was published citing research from America in 2020 which had looked at 43 studies of more than 28,000 fathers worldwide. This research " ...found that 10 per cent of men across the world showed signs of depression from the first trimester of their wife's pregnancy until six months after birth. ". These figures are not all that surprising; it's long been estimated that, similar to new mums, approximately one-in-ten new dads will experience PND.

However, what was more interesting was the next finding from the Journal of the American Medical Association:

The number [of men showing signs of depression] increased to 26 per cent in the three to six months after the baby was born.

This figure is huge: over one quarter of new dads will experience PND. As the article continues, this " figure is more than twice the rate of depression normally seen in men, and higher than the number of women who suffer PND, which is widely accepted to be between 10 and 20 per cent." [our emphasis]

Added to this, an article earlier in the summer from Nursery World reported that " 40 per cent of fathers report having concerns about their mental health during the perinatal period... [and dads] ...with mental health problems during the perinatal period are up to 47 times more like to be classed as a suicide risk than at any other time."

One last figure to add in here comes from psychologist and Postpartum Support International board member Daniel Singley, in an interview with inverse.com from July 2021:

One in two dads develop postpartum depression when their partner also develops it. That's 50 per cent, which is staggering from a public mental health perspective.

Impact on the family

This inverse.com article also looked at the impact that a dad who is struggling with his mental health can have on the whole family. Aside from placing a strain on his relationships with those closest to him, Dr Sharin Baldwin - clinical research fellow at the University of Warwick - stated that:

If either parent is depressed, we know that can have a huge effect on a child's behavioural and cognitive development and school readiness.

Crucially, experiencing poor mental health during the perinatal period can have a bearing on the new dad's ability to form an all-important bond (sometimes referred to as ' secure attachment ') with his child, as noted by a dad who participated in a UK research study from 2021:

It affected my bond with my daughter, which sadly I still feel now. I don't feel the same feelings towards her as I do to my first child, which makes me sad.

Another issue is that this all has a huge consequence in terms of financial expense, as noted by Dr Baldwin:

If a father is depressed, and that affects the father and the child, all the services that then need to get involved in supporting the family can end up costing enormous amounts.

Dads need information and support

All this means that getting information and support across to dads (in relation to both their partners' mental health and their own) needs to be of paramount importance, and this is confirmed in research from 2020 by Dr Andy Mayers and team which found that:

Fathers desired more information specific to postnatal mental illness, such as warning signs and potential symptoms, and information on how best to help their partner through this difficult time... Many fathers felt little sympathy was provided to them [by healthcare providers, with]... a distinct lack of service support and general recognition for father's mental health.

In the BBC CWR interview, Scott Mair spoke about how valuable DadPad can be to help dads become more aware of their own mental health:

...if we get this right we will reduce the mental health side of it by educating parents properly - ALL parents - but dads are the ones that sometimes find it difficult to ask questions and know where to get support. By giving them this support and giving them the tools in advance, it will help... make that transition a little bit easier.

The good news!

The good news is that things are beginning to change. In that research paper from Mayers, it is noted that: " ...recent developments have shown that perinatal health professionals, including midwives and health visitors, are now additionally being trained and educated regarding the needs of fathers at this time."

Given that we like to hope that DadPad could be an essential tool in this training and roll-out of additional, embedded support to dads throughout the perinatal period, this means that it is incredibly exciting to launch in a new area, such as the Midlands.

Alongside the commissioning team at SWFT, Scott is also keen to keep encouraging healthcare professionals to continue to reach out to dads-to-be and new dads:

...I try and talk about... involving dads more and involving that partner and seeing them as an asset and not something to be forced against.. Now that we have Health Visiting in the [Warwickshire] area using the DadPad, they can start to introduce it.

Sarah Foster, who is the Locality Manager for Warwickshire 0-5 at SWFT, commented:

We are really excited to be able to offer this fantastic resource to all the dads across Warwickshire, Coventry and Solihull to offer support through the DadPad app and website alongside our Health Visiting Services. This resource development recognises the critical role of fathers within children's lives and the importance of supporting them with issues specific to men and their parenting needs.

DadPad is a "really helpful" resource

Finally, Scott ended the CWR interview by providing an overview of why he considers DadPad to be such a good resource:

I was a little critical in the beginning because... I knew what we needed and I wanted to make sure, if DadPad came into the area, that it is what we need, and it absolutely is... [It] really is very beneficial that we start to give this information out to all parents, but particularly dads, because they want to know this information, they are very rarely told it, and - when they do look for it - the language and the way that [the information] is slanted... is geared at mum, and it is a different role. So having it in a language that's written to a dad, from a dad, is very, very rare - and that's why I think it will be really helpful.

We're really looking forward to continuing to work with Scott and all the team at SWFT to ensure Warwickshire dads and dads-to-be get the information, advice and support that they need in order to help give their babies the best start in life!

References and further reading:

Tolley, G (2021). "Daddy blues - why we need to talk about postnatal depression in men". The National - UAE. [ online]

Jones Russell, M (2021). "Health - Taking the strain." Nursery World. [ online]

Macbride, K (2021). "Can men get postpartum depression? Experts and dads reveal the truth." inverse.com. [ online]

Mayers, A et al (2020). "Supporting women who develop poor postnatal mental health: what support do fathers receive to support their partner and their own mental health?". BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth. [ online]

Hambridge, S et al (2021). "'What kind of man gets depressed after having a baby?' Fathers' experiences of mental health during the perinatal period." BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth. [ online]

South Warwickshire NHS Foundation Trust Press Release re DadPad launch [ online]

Scott Mair's social media pages:

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DadPad launches in Warwickshire | News | Support for new dads

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Celebrating our first DadPad app in the Midlands, with an updated look at why support for new dads - and their mental health - is so important.

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What kind of preparation for birth and early parenting do fathers want?

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What kind of preparation for birth and early parenting do fathers want?

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How pregnancy can affect dads and partners

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The changes that pregnant people go through are well known. But there’s evidence that men and non-birthing parents may experience hormone changes too.

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Breastfeeding and how you can be involved?

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Breastfeeding and how you can be involved?

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Hub of Hope - Mental Health Support Network provided by Chasing the Stigma

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Chasing the Stigma (CTS) has launched the Hub of Hope - a national mental health database, bringing help and support together in one place, with a focus on grassroots organisations.