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It's bright out. I can see it behind the last dying plant on my windowsill. I feel nauseous.

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I like to imagine the idle tear that rolls down my cheek as a raindrop falling to water trees.

I like to imagine the gnawing pain that stabs at my heart as fingers tickling me to laughter.

I like to imagine the bitter press of pursed lips as the beginning of a shy smile.

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Roses are dead

Violets are blue

Now that words are left unsaid

And your debts are overdue

I’ll bury the hatchet, bury my heart

In the soils of the one I loved from the start.

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I don't wanna know the last time I hear of you, see of you, know of you. I don’t wanna know any last moments.

Im dreading what the future holds, just because I fear the day where our story had started will end.

I can’t imagine to tell myself the last time I looked up at you was the last I would have seen you.

I hate a start of anything…because in the back of my head all I would start thinking off is the dread of it ending.

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i was just a girl, writing eulogies for people who are still alive.

People who i no longer call home.

Yet i would defend them at any cost to any stranger.

But it's all in my head, the perceived notion we were friends.

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My joints are overgrown

with rubbery cartilage

that encircles them,

burrows down

and feeds in barren soil.

It stretches outwards in links

I can't trace along,

that go past the frontiers

of my cloudy eyes,

untouched by light,

for miles,

and miles,

into an endless darkness.

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There is a reason as to why we’ve gone so awry. Bound by a tie, in fear that we might die in obsession that causes us to lie. To ourselves or to others, we eventually falsify. Bound by a tie. Stuck within its phi. Oh truly, we’ve let ourselves die. Yet we still are able to fly. To Break that tie. Oh why, o’ why, do I not say hi?

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These segregational tenants

Creating such tensions

Nullifying interactions

Potential friends and actions

Displaced across dimensions

Divided into factions

These segregational tenants

Creating such tensions

Nullifying any mentions

Of potential interactions

Displaced across dimensions

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Each time that I see you,

I grapple with my emotions

emotions I am presented with,

each time that I see you

In disbelief of such love,

my heart, to such love it is numb,

mortified I’ll fall for you,

then never see you again

just like how I have not, all year long

when we were just a few meters apart...

Oh! If it weren’t for those walls...

If it weren’t for those tenets...

Whenever I see you,

I wish to approach you

Why can I not walk through,

this cage, thereof, the keys I have?

A gasp of mesmerization and also one of dread,

afraid I’ll still love you, until I am dead

And to me, for I know that to none,

have you any debt

Still, with my love for you, I feel so inept

Years & years of this tyrranical heft,

locked behind those vault doors,

right between the everstanding walls

Then to be throw myself into this maze?

How am I to navigate, when I keep awaiting your gaze?

I am studdened whenever I see you,

you amaze

For I am phased by your beauty,

ever hazed by your laze

But today, I share this. And these are only memories. No more pain, no more haze. Sober lucidity, yet not numbing. Time heals all wounds, transforms all yearnings. Or is that what we tell ourselves as to not mourn long-dead possibilities?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did the Dasein ask the Seinsfrage?