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This is what I imagine the island would look like 

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Vivaan Davda - Descriptive Writing Reflection

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Vivaan Davda - Descriptive Writing Reflection

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General Idea : Both the descriptives create clear imagery and use figures of speech such as metaphors and similes. Both the descriptives bring out all the colors and the atmosphere around the respective places. They are marvellously written. Kudos to the authors.

The Island's Descriptive : The island's descriptive is very detailed. It talks about all the aspects - the beach, the people, the island's beauty, and the water. The writer has used all the senses, and it brings a clear picture in the reader's mind.

The Funfair : The writer has also brought out different aspects. The writer has described all the people - the children and the teenage girl very well. They have brought out all the emotions of all the characters well.

Summary : I liked Description A more because it brought out a good image of the island in the mind, and now i feel like visiting the island, which was "made out of gold itself".

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I prefer the first essay.
The first essay is filled with vivid imagery. Every tiny detail is described. The writer uses all of the senses. The format of an essay is followed correctly. The writer describes the island as heaven. Even though the characters living on the island could have been described in a better way, I prefer it.
The second essay is not following the correct stucture but on the other hand has used great vocabulary. The setting is not described and all five senses have not been covered

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In my opinion, b had a better description than a as it was well put together and intricate. However, b seemed too short and very incomplete whereas a had a better storyline. A felt a bit stretched out but contained a proper structure.Therefore I would say A would be in the higher mark band.

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I think that both essays are wonderful pieces of writing. I prefer the second essay because it paints a more vivid picture. The reader feels immersed in the world and can truly feel the emotions associated with the funfair. The usage of metaphors such as the "mammoth of a woman" brings the story to life

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a) I liked the description of nature a lot. The use of similes and personifications helped images form in my mind. Four out of five senses were used, and I liked the auditory image of the people chattering. Every paragraph also has a different subtopic, so it has a lot of structure. I liked this one better than the second, because I like nature a lot.

b) I liked the use of adjectives and vocabulary in the second essay. The auditory and visual images were strong, and there was the use of senses. I also liked the use of negative and positive connotations for the adjectives.

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I like the first essay about the island much better. It has many more vivid images, and it describes the surroundings very accurately. The writer uses appropriate adjectives to convey the beauty to the readers, helping them envision it in their mind. The writer describes most senses like touch, sight and sound, creating a 360-degree experience.

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Island description- The island is described in great detail. It follows the structure of an essay correctly. The writer has used a mix of senses, describing the feel, sound and look of the island. The writer brings in the human aspect of the island towards the end but could describe the people better

Funfair- The essay is not in the correct sequence. The writer has described the people in the funfair in great detail but left out details about the setting in general. It brings out a sense of touch and sight.

I prefer the first description because it is in more detail than the funfair one and describes the surrounding better