# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: You don't have a topic sentence.
Details/Facts: very light in detail. Please add more.
Concluding Sentence: I don't see a concluding sentence taking you to the next paragraph.

Please see Presley for help

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Great work. Please be sure to use past tense verbs. (example: is should be was).

Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: edit: Sebastian Cermeno's early history was mostly unknown.

Details/Facts: good...adventure should be adventurous

Concluding Sentence: I did not see a concluding sentence. Please add or see me if you need help.

# data[].attributes.body
Please see me for help.
Topic Sentence: EDIT: Gaspar de Portola had a very fascinating early life.

Details/Facts: EDIT: He was born into a wealthy family in 1723 in Catalonia, Spain. You have many run-on sentences that need to be fixed.

Concluding Sentence: revision needed.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: EDIT: Juan Bautista de Anza led an amazing and important early life.

Details/Facts: Apache needs to be capitalized. Are there any other details you can add? It seems a little light on information.

Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: I don't see a concluding sentence. Please add one. If you need help please see me.

# data[].attributes.body
Please CAPITALIZE the beginning of each sentence. And end each sentence with a period!

Topic Sentence: revise slightly. Sebastian Vizcaino's early life was easy because he was born into a wealthy and successful family.

Details/Facts: good

Concluding Sentence: I don't see a concluding sentence. Please add one. If you need help please see me.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good

Details/Facts: revise: At the age of ten, Drake was an apprentice for a captain of a small ship.

Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

Nicely done! You are ready to type!

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good

Details/Facts: revise: At the age of ten, Drake was an apprentice for a captain of a small ship.

Concluding Sentence: I don't see a concluding sentence. Please add or see me for help if needed.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good - adventurous or full of adventure (not adventures)

Details/Facts: good (be mindful of spelling when you type)

Concluding Sentence: good!!

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All NAMES deserve CAPITAL letters!
Topic Sentence: good

Details/Facts: SEE ME (your timeline doesn't make sense, and you have several run-on sentences) We will edit on your paper together.

Concluding Sentence: revision needed (run-on sentence)

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good

Concluding Sentence: revision needed. It's a little confusing, but can be great with a tiny edit. See me for help if needed.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

You are ready to type! Please spell out all numbers. 5 should be five.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: revision needed. Try to avoid using the work things in informative writing.

Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good
Details/Facts: good
Concluding Sentence: revision needed. See me for help

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good

Details/Facts: 1) combine the first two detail sentences into one. 2) Either break the sentence about his death into two separate sentences or combine them so they're not a run-on.

Concluding Sentence: good

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good

Details/Facts: 1) in 1723 (not on 1723) 2) Can you add any other facts/details. It seems a little light.

Concluding Sentence: confusing. Please revise. I don't remember reading about a first problem, so when you write on his second problem it is very confusing for the reader.

# data[].attributes.body
Topic Sentence: good

Details/Facts: good up until He made his crew... Is the description of Cook as a captain best for this paragraph or the next? It seems a little off topic or you need a better transition to make it make more sense.

Concluding Sentence: needs revision. How did getting murdered lead to his expedition? If he's dead, he can't go on an expedition.