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This project has gone through multiple different possible directions, from an interactive game related experience to the illustrative nature it has now. However one thing I've always had in mind for this project is for it to encourage viewers to take interest different areas of interest, whether that's the artistic potential of games or the application of complex philosophy to everyday life.
I feel I've managed to maintain that first aim that started this project though the project itself is entirely different to how it started and has continuously evolved.

Most of what I've learnt from this journey is mainly from prior research rather then any physical art production which, in my eyes at least, is a positive thing as I've greatly expanded my knowledge of philosophy and the artistic potential of video games, which will be useful when I go on to my course in games art and design.

The curatorial process brought more changes for my project as it was adapted to fit it in better into the exhibition environment. Though in the end it has come out quite well and I feel I've made something that I'm proud of despite the numerous ups and downs and numerous changes this project has fought through.

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Decided to add a slight ironic humour to my piece by adding post cards addressed to prominent politicians to catch the interest of viewers.

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Doing more journal work to give more of an idea of how I came to my final conclusion and how I generally go about thinking and experimenting for my project. i'm largely doing studies of various things as one thing that didn't happen during this project is that I didn't learn much to do with actual art theory. I didn't learn anything like colour theory, perspective or much technical.

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Final preparations for the show have for the most part been completed, I have decided on the material on which they will be shown, where and how they will be shown. I'm pleased with the overall aesthetic of the peace and has come together well in time for the exhibition.

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I decided to not have to much writing underneath each portrait as it will likely take away to much attention from the drawing. Though that means there is a lot left to explain I believe that since this piece is mainly aimed at those who have an interest ,but not much understanding of philosophy, that the most important thing is to get the viewer interested.

So instead of writing a paragraph for each I'm going to just write the philosopher's name, time period, most major/famous contribution and their most famous quote related to there great deed. This way I'm not flooding the viewer with to much information which perhaps would give the feeling of being lectured; instead only giving a very small amount of important information that will lead the viewer to research in their own time, if they so desire.

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Finishing all the portraits by today.

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There has been a rather large delay to my journal work for multiple reasons one being that I've being focus on simply working and avoiding research or writing as these things end up being what I like to call "productive procrastination". Though I don't think I'm putting it of I noticed I simply wasn't doing enough physical work. However with my project almost at a close I can at least do some reflecting. The project I feel is coming a long nicely, with a more defined objective and a simpler subject to illustrate the pieces have come out more inspired and more aesthetically pleasing.

I've also learnt not to give up on a drawing so easily, after working with one such drawing which I initially was disappointed by, the end result can be surprisingly pleasing.

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After doing more ink drawings I'm starting to get used to the medium, though its a pretty simple medium. Also after doing a mock up of one of the final illustrations I couldn't help but feel it lacked something. To me it seemed like I'd just done a regular portrait, though there's nothing wrong with portraiture that's not what this project has been about till now. Though I'm fine with including an essence of portraiture I want to consider how to relate it more closely to philosophy.

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I'm still not sure about size for the final pieces however I'm likely going to keep them small so I can give them a good amount of detail.

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Comparing ink with graphite pencil it seems graphite is better for detailing but ink has a more bold and professional finish. So I'm likely to stay with ink for my final piece despite not being used to it.

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Today I've discussed more of how the final piece will turn out. I've decided that at least for now I'm going to do a series of portraits of philosophers a long with some illustration to suggest there thoughts. I also am most likely going to do these pieces in pen and ink as this would give the illustrations a bold look.

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Although I've done some sketching this weekend which has freed up my hand a little and increased my physical work pace I do feel a bit uneasy about the how my final piece will come together. I'm interested in sketching and I'm interested in philosophy so its just a case of mixing together in an aesthetic and meaningful way but it's not as simple as it sounds. Talking with some of the tutors it was suggested draw the philosophers or philosophies (in some form) in an environment. As a singular environment would make multiple complex ideas more comprehensible but that still leaves me in a rather vague area, unfortunately I always like having a strict plan rather then just doing work and seeing were it takes me. But that was part of this project from the start, going outside my comfort zone but not to much.

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Starting with quick rough sketches to get me out of the perfectionist mindset focusing on basic human forming starting with facial features, form, pose and portraiture.

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After a lengthy discussion with my tutors I've decided it's best that I change the course of my project to some extent. Though I'm still basing my project on philosophy however my original idea of sticking to three illustration stagnated my work flow and also would look fairly unimpressive in the exhibition.

So as a result I'm going to do a lot more physical experimentation mainly focusing on drawing to keep a coherent theme between my work. The project will still be aimed at those who don't have a clear understanding in philosophy but may be interested in it. I'm still not exactly sure how I will be presenting my final piece or exactly what It will entail but that's the reason for the increased experimentation

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I'm slowly getting used to using acrylic paints again, but it's certainly more complex then using a simple graphite pencil.
After my final critique it was suggested that I do more less detailed drawings rather then limiting myself to a few detailed ones. Presentation wise this would look a lot better but would likely result in me using one medium from now on as thinking of a different medium for about 10 drawings is a bit excessive.

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I'm usually confident with my technical skills and knowing the basics of light and perspective, but when experimenting in a medium I'm not used to most of the rest becomes irrelevant. It seems I'm usually to quick to think a new way of working will be simple and is just another way of mark making. Though it is JUST a new way of mark making that does not mean the marks are made in the same manner. Using acrylic paints I quickly started to lose confidence as I realised that I had no idea how to properly blend acrylic. After some research its more of an issue of being to delicate with the amount of paint I use.

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Going back to the digital medium has made me realise how much I prefer it over most other mediums. Though each has its own disadvantages and advantages, I find the advantages of using digital software and graphics tablet to be the comfortable medium for myself especially since I like to focus on design ad realism.

However I am still going to continue this project without it as I still have some mediums to experiment with in which I have little experience. That being said I still find pencil to also be a very useful medium to do draw concepts and even realistic illustrations making me almost regret not doing this entire project in pencil.

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Over this weekend I'm going to have another go at experimenting with digital art again. Since this project has been about an experiment with mediums as much as it is about philosophy (at least for me personally).

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Doing research into acrylic paints as I have not used them in a while.

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The coloured pencil piece acted as quite a good experiment as I've previously stated this is pretty much my first time using coloured pencils to create a piece. The problem is as a result the presentation isn't so good, which isn't much of a problem for my project as a whole but as for the exhibition this may appear unprofessional.

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Using coloured pencils is harder then I thought without extra tools.

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Due to technical difficulties I could not actually do much work digitally which shows perhaps the largest weakness of the digital medium, the fact it isn't as reliable as the simple pencil or paint brush.

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Decided just for this weekend to go back and try using the digital medium again just so I don't get rusty. Though having not used it in a while it didn't take long to get used to drawing in said medium which is a good sign.

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Had a mini feedback session to decide what subject to tackle and decided on fatalism as this is a very easy school of thought to convey in pictures.

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Focusing on my coloured pencil piece again whilst at home as I have little practical space for using acrylic. Currently looking at possibilities for my coloured pencil piece though.

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Starting my acrylic painting by outlining details with soft pencil to show all the major details.

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Today I started drawing a simple eye with coloured pencils. Of course the eye it self isn't really that relevant to the project but as coloured pencils is a medium I am using I thought I'd need to get used to it first. To be honest it feels like drawing with kids tools, which is nice because it presents a challenge.

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Looking at other artwork it makes me really want to start goign back to digital artwork, which is great as it means I'm getting through my artist block. However for one my tablet isn't working with my laptop and second I want to stay a bit away from using digital art as expression since my project if focusing on non modern mediums. So for now I'll stick to traditional mediums.

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I want to try experiment next with either coloured pencils or acrylic given these are mediums I rarely use.

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Doing research into illustration and communicating ideas.

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Despite my previous worries I'm for the most part sticking to my original plan. However I can't just ignore this lack of inspiration and artistic block that (although is slightly improved) continues to cause me doubt in my abilities.

One problem which I know is that philosophy is quite an alien subject to most people including people on my course and tutor, in fact the majority of "average" human beings. Though this isn't inherently bad it does mean that I have trouble receiving feedback on anything philosophical. However after a critique today It was suggested that I try find out peoples opinions on philosophy/ies good and bad maybe using at least a bit of explanation so they get a rough understanding of it which should also help me understand how to make an image that describes it.

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As much as I love the idea of philosophy it is a very hard subject to translate into imagery. Again I find myself a bit disappointed that I could not take my art down the route I wanted to but due to the audience and other factors I must be pushed towards the "fine arts" which I wanted to stay away from.

However there is nothing I can do about that so what I must do now is focus on finishing this project.

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Having second thoughts on this project as a whole. The thing is I want to do more work on video game art, as that the path I want to go down but as I've already discussed this isn't a good option as it I cannot think of a way of effectivley displaying video game art in an exhibition, since video game art is designed to be exhibited in "video games". However since I'm mixing character design with my philosophy project it should be a good halfway point.

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Continuing work on first illustration/ breaking my art block.

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Been doing a lot of thinking on how to illustrate philosophical concepts. Considering everyone I've talked to about this project have displayed much confusion in how on earth you illustrate such a complex thing. Yet its not impossible as I previously stated I will use a character in the illustration to make it more relatable and more understandable. However due to the complexity of the subject matter that has to be compressed into an illustration it's likely this will be more aimed at people with at least a basic grasp of philosophy; that is not to say those who do not understand the meanign behind the image can't simply enjoy the aesthetic.

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So far I'm not sticking to the schedule of this project in exactly the same way as I thought I would. So far I have not even started my first illustration however I'm not falling behind as I've just decided to take a slightly different  approach and plan out the other illustration from future weeks first.

I've also been looking a lot at minimalism. I love the concept behind it, taking on a "less is more" attitude and I've loved the minimalist look in films and games. Funnily enough though I've struggled to find minimalistic art pieces. A lot seem so "minimalist" that they almost just seem lazy. A block of colour isn't suddenly filled with meaning and beauty just because it's the only thing on the page, it seems some just aren't what I'd view as minimalist.

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After discussion in my first critique I've encountered another problem which is thinking of my target audience and how I'd communicate with them. Although I know my piece will be targeted at a rather broad audience, at those mildly interested in philosophy and those with a deeper understanding of it, there's the problem of communicating an entire school of philosophical thought in one image. I will almost certainly have to have some accompanying writing with each illustration which is fine such I quite like writing. However how will I convey what existentialism is with no words?

One Idea which I've quite quickly drawn to is the idea of creating a character for each illustration. Though I don't want to look at each character in a to personal sense, i.e. I'm not interested in creating an elegant back story of who this character is but more focused on what the character represents.

I was rather inspired by the work of Andrew Baines one painting in particular named "The existentialist." What I thought of doing is to do each illustration based on a character tied into each school of thought, so there would be The Nihilist, The Empiricist etc. As is the power of using a character; the audience or viewer can then relate making the understanding of philosophy and the message I am sending much more easier.

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Finished the project proposal and have now started my final piece. Beginning with some background research and sketches before I start the actual illustration.

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Final preparations for college.
Also watched an interesting film for the first time, with appropriately philosophical content called "Blade Runner". Apparently not a very popular film on first release however has now become a cult classic and I can see why. I won't bother talking through the entire story but the film brings up some interesting points about questioning diffidences in people, existentialism and a lot of comment about what you believe to be true and how much meaning it has, i.e. tackling empiricism. Set against a bleak dystopian cityscape the film is visually interesting as well as intellectually and should serve as good inspiration for this project.

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Done more work in preparation for the start of next term where hopefully I should start producing work.

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Though I haven't managed to draw anything yet I have planned out the my pieces more so now at least I know what to do and should feel less nervous when I work on them.

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Despite having resolved the large part of technical issues with this project I still have one very large problem that I admit I've had for the past month or so. Artist's block. I've found it very hard to create anything, outside of word documents, specifically anything outside of doodles. Not that doodling isn't useful but not being able to do any larger pieces is going to be very problematic in the coming weeks. It's strange that I get an almost paralysing fear whenever I sit down and try get down to work.

The good news is this is quite common, getting past it on the other hand usually takes a while though. So if I have a number one priority now it is to overcome this at least to some lesser extent.

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Finishing yet another multi-faceted decision  I've decided to illustrate different philosophical schools of thought. Leaving me with very few questions left mainly:
1.How will they be illustrated? (medium, style etc.)
2.In what context should I illustrate them. (The ideal world of said school of thought? The nightmare of said school of thought? Or simply the perception of that school of thought? And do I add story and narrative into the pieces?
I've also decided against all forms of animation and stick to still images though will be produced in varying style.

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I've been thinking a lot recently about dreams. Not those interpretational things you have at the end of a night's sleep, but those things you aspire or just think about; perhaps you fantasize about. It will always be questionable if these dreams are achievable yet like anything inside your head, they still influence your actions.

I won't say what my dreams are but I most certainly want to edge closer to them and this project is a chance to experiment. The project isn't directly related to any of my dreams but will help me understand how realstic these dreams are.

On a side note the past few days have been dedicated to my education of philosophy which, although intresting, is particularly hard going for the mind. Hence the lack of entries. Of course I'm still at a crossroads, no surprise, or should I say a three pronged path:
1.Do I illustrate the thoughts of an individual philosopher?
2. Do I illustrate a series of thought experiments?
3, Do I illustrate different philosophical schools of thought?

I should hopefully have an answer soon so I can get going on this statement.

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The more and more I look into animation the less I want to do it. The main reason because it would take me down a path I decided along time ago not to go down. As you probably know I want to be an illustrator or a game's art designer. Animation can be used to fit into either of these however it is not a medium I wish to use.

"Why not just to animation for this project, it won't effect your future career," you may say but from what I've gathered from research it takes a lot of work just to get into the basics of animation. Now this isn't an issue of laziness or even much to do with time constraints (though partly) but it's an issue of spending a great deal of time and effort developing skills for a one off project. Most of the project time would be learning animation rather then actually doing the project and as I discussed animation isn't a skill that will be much use later on in my life or education.

Though the idea of a GIF type image is still an option, I wanted to rule off animation for this project.

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I've decided to limit my options to the idea of focusing on philosophy, as I will essentially be producing images (moving or not) with a particular theme attached to them, which is exactly how art is created for video games anyway. The big question now is, how? Again I am at a crossroads:

1. Make a series of short recurring animations on seperate themes.
2. Make one long animation.
3. Make a series of paintings (either digital or acrylic although possibly also with pencil.)

Number one seems interesting however would require learning the basics of animation and possibly more, then I'd have to make the moving images, which causes a problem of time.

Number two would likely not have so much focus, on philosophy and more on narrative. Would also suffer from time issue as I'd need to learn animation from the ground up.

Number three seems quite realistically do able, problem is in order for it to look its best and have it's desired effect it would likely have to be non-digital and I'm not so confident with paints though I could largely do pencil drawings. Also I could still do some digitally but would likely have to print them of in a large scale.

There's also the question of what part of philosophy do I illustrate? Really it boils down to either famous thought experiments such as Schrodinger's Cat; or do I illustrate schools of thought such as Nihilism? Both seem equally interesting.

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Did more reading and research for my project. The only concern now is that, I wan't to blend all my intrests together, which is probably unrealistic. However it bothers me slightly that I am doing a piece that's largely to do with philosophy and not much about video games.

Of course the problem is that the only way (or at least the best way) to mix art with video games is to create a video game and I've ruled that out. Alternatively as previously suggested I could make art "for" a video game, but since this exhibition is largely visited by those interested in the more classic forms of art, any reference to video games would likely be overlooked so its best this way.

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After discussing with Jeb idea 3 seems the most likely choice as it is presentable, doable and within my interests to do. Which means I need to research more about philosophy. Despite being interested in Philosophy my practical understanding of it is limited as I've only read one book about it and have only really seen it through other mediums such as video games or novels, but I haven't directly studied it till now.

I've also started looking at books for research material and I have to say they are far less practical then just looking on the internet. Nevertheless It's always best to have a range of sources for research and books will usually go more in depth on subjects then internet articles do.

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It seems that Idea 2 is not appropriate for this project, however is something I'd like to pursue another time, as eventually I'd love to create a game. So this limits my choices which i wanted after all, still a shame. However as the project of mine is still orientated around video games I'm still studying them, more specifically, how they can be viewed as art.

This is a very interesting area (at least for me) as like any artists I enjoy art yet what more could I ask for then art that is also a video game? Of course it's largely debated whether you can even call video games "art". Which is also interesting to study and you can find many articles about it but most boil down to subjectivity and the overall problem of art's ambiguous definition.

But what I've been looking at, at least in my 'free' time is games that are widely considered art. Again this like any 'art' is subjective but its interesting to see why others see things the way they do. I could go on a rant about the ones I consider art, but I don't see anything productive coming of that.

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The main dilemma I'm facing at the moment with this project is presentation. Specificity imagining how this project would be presented in the exhibition. This unit is not just about the exhibition I know but it is largely based on it so presentation is a important factor. Of course this is a problem for me more then most others because my project is around video games; an interactive medium that often takes a singular viewer along time to fully experience. Given that exhibitions are typically done in a casual come and go style, where viewers spend anywhere between 1 second to 1 hour viewing each piece it may cause problems if I may piece forces them to spend 10 minutes or more to simply view it.

This only applies for idea 2, creating a game. I suppose this could mean my selection of ideas has simply been narrowed to idea 3, but that idea seems a bit too illustration based rather then focusing on game design and art. Of course I could always work idea 1 into idea 3 (using idea 1 as the basis for the exhibited piece which would be idea 3).

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Unfortunately I thought of another idea to consider, lets call it idea 3.

The basic concept was to animate some images in a GIF type format though these images would be detailed painting of either parts of a tale or perhaps a fantastical illustration of a particular philosophical concept, as philosophy and stories are both things I admire and would love to incorporate into my final piece. The image(s) would be fantastical, as that is the most recognisable genre that is closely related to storytelling, it would also give me lots of freedom creatively.
I'd also largely like to keep the animation simple but effective, so only adding a very simple element of movement to them e.g. a gust of wind or the flowing water. In a sense the images would be part minimalist (animation wise at least) a genre that I've always admired the general concept of but funnily enough despised most art associated with it.

Which means more food for thought, though at least this idea would replace idea 1 at least as idea 1 is to close to my last project and has large problems of how it would be presented. Though is a good idea to keep for future projects.

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Weighing up the pros and cons idea 2 seems to be more appropriate to fitting the assessment criteria as well improving the appropriate skills for my course next year. However it is simply the time frame which is an issue, mainly due to my lack of skill in the area as I now have to search up the correct software and then learn how to use the software and then will likely find out that particular software does not cover everything so will need to download and learn how to use another piece of software.

Idea 1 does not seem bad, I would be happy doing it but for now I will be going on the assumption that I will be doing Idea 2, at least until It's been proven that I can't do idea 2.

The big question now is do I make the game entirely text based, or entirely textless; since most simple games often have one or the other. If its pure text, the concept and meaning of the game has to be almost purely from narrative. No text means I can focus on function more and the game would likely be based around a more simple objective such as: Don't let the ball reach the whole or guide the string through the hoops, problem is though this will be much harder to program then a pure text game.

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Having my last project being based around the creation of video games and the fact that I'm applying for a games art and design course leaves little speculation as to what area I would want to focus this last unit on. However that being said the topic of video games or just games in general is incredibly broad so I still need to narrow it down.

Luckily the process of finding out what my final project will actually be is in essence part of the project itself, which is why I'm starting this Journal/Diary to record my physical and mental process of both finding what best to do and how to do it.

However despite the ambiguity I'm heading into this project with I can start with some clear objective and that is to create my project proposal, a 500 word essay detailing what the final project will be and why. I've already thought about possible pieces I could do and essentially It boils down to one of two ideas:

1. Create the basis/blueprint for a game to created by other people possibly using a mock brief or something similar. This would include designing art for characters and setting, story, function and objective of the game itself and any further design notes.

2. Create a very simple game from scratch. Due to the limited time frame in which this needs to be completed the game would have to be 2D or more likely purely text based as my programming skills and knowledge of the fundamentals are pretty much non-existent.

Given the time frame option 1 seems more realistic though I'm not going to make a final decision yet. Both however have a problem of presentation; option 1 is essentially made of multiple smaller components, so I would need to find a way of either bundling them all together in a presentable format or simple make one aspect of the project presentable i.e. one large high detailed character concept.
Option 2 has the problem of being in an interactive format, which isn't to much of a problem, the problem is the interactivity may require a lot of input from the viewer which would be time-consuming for them and would reduce interest of other viewers.
Anyway only one way to find out which to do, research!