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I believe that in this passage Tara is trying to show that she lacks the confidence to stand up for herself and be strong in certain situations.

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After reading the passage, Tara is trying to convey her audience by showing signs that her self-identity is struggling within her. I think that Tara has created this image in her head that she is stronger and powerful towards the men in her house. But as soon as Charles sees the way Shawn treated her, he questions her and she begins to realize she is not quite sure of the lifestyle she has been living. She worries about Charles finding out about the violent and aggressive relationships she has with her father and Shawn. Tara ending the passage with "I had no idea what he was talking about" revealed that she really is not certain of how she is going to find closure with her uncomfortable childhood situations.

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Within this passage, Tara reveals that her own self identidy at this time in her life is lacking.She revels this by constantly lacking the ability to stand up for herself, despite constatnly wanting to. She refelcts toughness although lacks execution of confidence and stregth the defy the corrupt norms she is put under by Shawn and Gene. This has allowed her to be solely reliant on Shawn and Gene to shape her lifestyle and actions. She brings this mentality into her relationship with Charles, in which she constantly worries about what others think of her and carries that self-conciousness. She has also only known to believe it is normal for fighting and violence in a relationship, which is why she tries to laugh it off when Charles witnessed Shawn hurting her.

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After reading the passage on pages 189-190 Westover tires to convey to her audience about her self identity at this point in her life of overcoming her vulnerability that she got from her family. Tara always had to be tough and strong to appease her family, but after the situation with Charles her self identity and self worth was at the lowest point. She didn't know what he meant because she didn't love herself. Tara is scared of what her family might think of her if she doesn't obey rules or act like one of her "strong" family members. This shows that Taras self identity is through what people think of her and not her own.

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Tara's self identity in this stage of her life is nonexistant. She relies upon other people to define her existance and boundaries, and in turns becomes reliant on their behaviors. In fact, it seems that she has almost no understanding of self identity at all. She's grown up around people who influnenced her in that way, and so she carries it into her adult life and relationship with Charles. In a way she isn't concerned with her own life nessesarily, she doens't particularly care what Shawn does to her anymore. What she's more afraid of is people's perception of her, which never allows her to develop an identity of her own.

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In the passage on pages 189-190 Tara reveals her struggle and tries to overcome her vulnerability. She does not want Charles to know about her life at home and what shawn, and her father, have put her through. She is trying to convey her audience that she is brave and unaffected by her life at home. Tara knows that her life at home is unhealthy and brutal so when Charles saw Shawn doing that to her, he wasn't expecting it. Tara states, "You didn't see what you thought you saw" to convey to the audience that Tara is acting brave and being the bigger person. The final line of this passage makes the audience realize she is not educated on what life really means to her. She's been lying and abused her whole life, she hasnt took a step back to realize what shes actually living through. Throughout the rest of the chapter she doesn't ask for help on her toe or her stomach. She has yet to be educated on what life really is all about

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After reading the pages 189-190 in Educated, explainf how shes scared of showing her true self. She was tought to always have her gards up. Once she let her gards down with Charels, she felt vulnerble. She trys to be so strong infront of everyone around her, its haed for her to schow her true self. Always felt controled by her family, hiding behind them in a way.

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In this passage we can definitely see Westover reflect on that low point in her life. Her world was her parents to mold so as a result she had to struggle to find herself since her teenage years taken.whereas when charles came into her life he'd  try to help her she felt as though everything she's known until then was flipped over its head.

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In this passage we can definitely see Westover reflect on that low point in her life. Her world was her parents to mold so as a result she had to struggle to find herself since her teenage years taken.whereas when charles came into her life he'd  try to help her she felt as though everything she's known until then was flipped over its head.

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-Lesly Reyes

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I think what the passage refers to is how Tara looks back and has seen that she has lost herself and who she really is, she hasn't been true to herself or others and now she doesn't know how to find herself

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On pages 189-190, Tara reveals how difficult it is for her to show vulnerability without becoming aggressive. The constant abuse she receives at home has affected her self-identity, and she wants everyone to perceive her as "unbreakable." The way her family demonstrates love for eachother is through violence and rage, which is the reason Tara had "no idea what he was talking about." The fight between her and Charles is what she views as "normal," so she had no understanding of the extremity of the situation.

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In the passage on pages 189- 190 Tara westover reveals her continuous struggle to find her independence and her self identity. She has been lying to everyone and herself this whole time that she is ¨invincible¨ so the point where she is starting to implode on herself. Westovers education had been self taught

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In pages 189-190 this passage shows Tara looking back how she reacted and how she is losing herself. She lying to everybody around her but more important to herself. Making everybody see she's strong and can take it when in reality she is suffering. All this constant abuse that she lived with throughout her family making seem like a normal thing. The final line when she ¨has no idea what he talking about¨ shows she got through that breaking point. She doesn't realize she lost when in reality she is. Struggling to find her identity and being independent.

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Westover is trying to convey the fear of vulnerability that was instilled in her from her parents and Shawn during her childhood. When Charles saw Shawn overpower Tara, she felt exposed and like she needed to show her strength to Charles, but only caused an irreparable riff in their relationship. Once Charles left, Tara had no proof of the lie she was convincing herself was true, that she was normal, and that she could live two  separate lives without anyone finding out. When Westover states, "I had no idea..." she is referencing that she did not yet understand the severity of her situation and the necessity for her to escape in order to survive and thrive.

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In pages 189-190 of Educated by Tara Westover,  she revels her contains struggle to show and feel strong, despite the constant abuse she receives at home. Charles is the first outsider in Tara life to really know her, and he notices the abuse, but Tara continues to deny the issues, and pushes Charles away. When Charles leaves, Taras lack of self identity is reviled to herself, because her lies have been seen by an outsider.

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The message Tara is trying to convey with the passage is that she is lost within herself. She's been lying to both everyone around her and to herself for so long that what she belives she feels and what she actually feels don't line up. It shows that her self identity has been corrupted by her damage control and the influence of her family. The ending phrase of the passage shows that she has lost herself so thoroughly that she doesn't realize that she is in fact lost.

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I think this passage may be Tara looking back on how she reacted, sort of disappointed, foreshadowing into what she learns about relationships in the future, and how she learns to interact with other people. She was stuck in her fathers religion and never got a chance to develop her own beliefs, so now every time someone does something not according to the bible, she will avoid it at all costs, telling herself everything is bad.

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I think when Tara says that she has no idea what Charles is talking about, this is meant to show her lack of understanding of the severity of her own upbringing and current situation. Saying that Buck's peak is looming over them while they have this conversation is meant to emphasize this, by being symbolic for her rugged childhood.

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In the passage on pages 189-190 Tara is trying to find her inter strength and confidence to stand up to shawn. Charles in over for dinner and Shawn is doing all of these abusive things to her. As this is happening Tara is laughing to try and make it a joke to Charles because she is embarrassed. Throughout there whole relationship Tara has portrayed her life to be something else to Charles and she doesn't want this to be the way he finds out. Charles went home and didn't stay for dinner after he saw this abusive behavior. While she was talking to Charles later she stated how love and friendship aren't the most important things to her but her ability to lie convincingly to herself was. Charles said he loved her. But really he couldn't love her if she didn't love herself and this is why she said he had no idea what he was talking about.

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In the passage at the end of 189 Tara revealed that the problem she had with Charles was that he saw her at her worst. This hurt her because she wanted to keep up the lie that she had built within herself that she was strong and didn't have any issues. In reality though she was really struggling with her self worth. At the end of the passage she says “I had no idea what he was talking about” in reference to Charles saying she was the only one who could help herself. This shows that she was still not entirely sure about her self identity and really was not fully aware of the problems she had.

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In the passage on pages 189-190, I think Tara is trying to convey her independence and inner strength. She cannot let people, especially Charles and the "outside world", see her in a vulnerable and weak state.
I believe that Tara is also alluding to the power that men in her family have had over her and how that has contributed to her not being able to accept love. She has never really experienced true "love" from anyone, so she is unable to accept that from Charles. At this point in her journey of self identity, Tara wants to keep herself guarded which means pushing people away when they try to help her or love her. The final line of the passage reveals that she is not "educated" yet on how her past has affected her and the benefits of letting people into your life to see the real you.

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In the end of the passage on pages 189-190 we see Tara trying to cover up her brothers behavior with her at their dinner with Charles, and when Charles  says "he couldn't save me. Only I could" she is confused because her own identity had been controlled and diminished by the influence of her family. She revolved her life around lying that she lost who she truly was. She tries to keep up a front that she is strong and that her brothers abuse does not affect her, but when Charles sees truly what Tara is going through Tara still continues to lie and try to protect herself. She lies to herself constantly making herself believe that she is indeed "strong" when really she losing her self worth and identity by not letting her true feelings out.