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Leading with Love - Relational Leadership

It's easy to become the type of leader who distrusts other people. This is particularly true in business. Regardless of your industry, achieving the status of a leader and helping your company grow requires embracing your competitive nature to some degree.

Unfortunately, some leaders become so competitive that they start to feel they can't trust others. They become suspicious of everyone else's motives. They may even consider their own employees to be potential threats. Thus, they may lead ineffectively, behaving too defensively to make the right decisions in all situations.

Other leaders adopt a different approach. They make the decision to "love" everyone they encounter on a regular basis. This love is not the type of love they would feel for a romantic partner, but it is similar to the love one feels for relatives and close family members.

Consider this example of leadership philosophy as you develop your own ideas about how to be an effective leader. Treating your team members (and even your direct competition) with care and respect can be very helpful in a number of ways - and is more of a relational leadership style. For instance, perhaps an employee who was once enthusiastic about their role has become clearly disengaged in recent months. A leader whose philosophy is rooted in defensiveness and competitiveness might assume this employee has turned against them for some reason. As a result, the relationship will suffer, and the worker may seek employment elsewhere.

On the other hand, someone who leads with love in a more relational leadership style would take the time to ask themselves what factors may have contributed to this employee's lack of engagement. They can then more effectively determine what steps they must take to correct the issue. This yields very practical benefits. Engaged employees are more productive, and more likely to remain loyal to an organization.

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5 Most Valuable Leadership Philosophy Examples To Understand

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It's easy to become the type of leader who distrusts other people. This is particularly true in business. Regardless of your industry, achieving the status of a leader and helping your company grow requires embracing your competitive nature to some degree. Unfortunately, some leaders become so competitive that they start to feel they can't trust others.

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Introduction

Leadership matters. A lot. In today's climate of heightened accountability and limited resources, effective leadership is critical to improving teaching and learning and turning around low-performing schools. Research confirms that, among school-related influences on student learning, principal leadership is second in importance only to classroom teaching. Nearly 60 percent of a school's influence on student achievement is attributable to principal and teacher effectiveness: principals account for as much as a quarter and teachers over a third of a school's total impact on achievement. Research also suggests that there are virtually no documented instances of troubled schools being turned around without an effective leader. Investments in effective principals can be a cost-effective way to improve teaching and learning, and these investments have the ability to dramatically improve student achievement. Improving the quality of one teacher allows a classroom full of students to benefit.

Improving the quality of one principal, however, allows all the students in a school to benefit. Effective school leadership is undoubtedly a catalyst to school reform.

Why are principals key to ensuring school success? A good principal is the single most important factor in attracting and retaining high-quality teachers, as reported from working condition surveys of teachers across the country. The principal also is uniquely positioned to ensure that excellent teaching and learning are spread school-wide. A successful school leader closely resembles an orchestra conductor, rather than a virtuoso soloist. Good leadership is about cultivating a shared vision and building a strong leadership team. Effective principals are dedicated, well-prepared individuals who know how to create vision, share authority and are ultimately held accountable for their school's success. In addition, effective principals:

Attract, develop and retain talented teachers and school staff;

Strengthen school culture;

Lead instructional improvement;

Support school staff;

Use data to inform decisions;

Engage parents and the community; and

Mobilize resources for learning.

What do principals need to be effective? At the top of the list are leader training programs and districts' need to recruit the "right people" to be future leaders. Once the aspiring leaders with the necessary potential are selected, they need quality preparation and ongoing support. They also need rigorous standards against which to be held. States and districts need to create conditions and incentives to support the ability of leaders to meet those standards. These include the authority to direct necessary resources (people, time and money) to schools and students with the greatest needs and access to quality and timely data to inform decisions about teaching, learning and resource allocation. In return, school leaders need to be held accountable for student achievement. All components of a leaders' career continuum-recruitment and retention, selection, preparation, mentoring, licensure, professional development and evaluation-must be inextricably linked. They cannot operate well in isolation. Coordinating state-, district- and school-level policies also has important benefits. New RAND Corporation research has found that, when states and districts work in collaboration to strengthen school leadership, principals on average report having significantly greater authority than other principals on important instructional matters such as establishing a curriculum and removing teachers.

Across the country and at every level-be it the classroom, school, district, state or federal-educators and policymakers are challenging the status quo and working together to create an education system that is responsive to students in today's globally competitive environment. The emphasis on effective school leadership continues to inform national and state discussions about educator effectiveness and school turnaround. A number of competitive federal grants, including the U.S. Department of Education's $4.35 billion Race to the Top program, have spurred immediate action from states to provide alternative pathways for aspiring principals and strengthen statewide evaluations systems for both teachers and principals. At least a dozen states enacted legislation during the 2010 legislative sessions to significantly reform educator evaluations and tenure, and more states likely will follow suit in 2011.

As states continue to face historic budget gaps and acute state and federal accountability requirements to dramatically increase student achievement, the need to invest in cost-effective ways to improve teaching and learning is imperative. More than ever, states need to develop and implement comprehensive strategies to ensure that today's leaders have the skills, knowledge and support required to guide the transformation of schools and raise achievement for all students.

What legislators need to know. State policymakers will want to understand the specific challenges and successes unique to their state to find the best policies to support effective principals. Legislators may want to seek answers to the questions below.

What are the specific leadership challenges and successes in your state?

Does your state have rigorous, well-defined leadership standards that specify what leaders should know and be able to do to improve teaching and learning? If so, do they guide all aspects of a leader's career, including preparation, licensure, mentoring, professional development and evaluation?

Has your state defined or revised the roles and responsibilities for teacher leaders, assistant principals, principals and superintendents? Does this answer differ for urban, rural and suburban school districts?

Does your state have a shortage of effective school leaders, including teacher leaders, assistant principals, principals and superintendents?

Is your state cultivating and preparing a pipeline of effective school leaders, including those who are specifically trained to turn around low-performing schools?

What is the quality of your state's leader training program, both for aspiring leaders and the professional development offered to sitting leaders? Does your leader training program accountability (accreditation) system hold programs accountable for the quality of their training?

Are the licensure requirements in your state relevant to the demands required of today's school leaders?

Does your state provide quality mentoring for new principals and superintendents?

Does your state have quality ongoing professional development opportunities for school leaders?

Do school leaders have authority over budgets, curriculum and staffing?

Does your state have valid and reliable measures to evaluate school leaders? Do the evaluations include impact on teacher quality? Student achievement?

Does your state have a comprehensive longitudinal data system that can answer key questions about the supply and demand of leaders; projected retirements; preparation program enrollment, completion rates and effectiveness; licensure; professional development; evaluation; and retention?

Lawmakers have responded by crafting legislation and policies to recruit, prepare, support and retain effective school leaders. At least 23 states enacted 42 laws to support school leader initiatives during the 2010 legislative sessions. A Michigan bill enacted at the end of December 2009 to reform educator evaluations also is included in this report. The laws address:

Roles and responsibilities;

Recruitment and selection;

Preparation programs and accreditation;

Licensure and certification;

Mentoring;

Professional development;

Authority;

Evaluation;

Compensation and incentives;

Data systems; and

Education governance structures.

This publication is the fourth annual report featuring state legislative efforts to support school leaders and provides a snapshot of legislation. It is not intended to focus on all areas of state-level activity, including the role of the governor, chief state school officer, or state and local school boards. Included again this year are examples of fiscal appropriations to provide a more complete picture of how states are strengthening school leader initiatives. New this year are the section on recruitment and selection, the stand-alone section on authority, and inclusion of what legislators need to know and consider in developing policy that accompanies each section.

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national conference of state legislatures

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Traditionally, we saw principals as more authoritarian and managerial, but the position has morphed to encompass a combination of roles as an instructional leader, manager, and the shaper of the school's climate and vision.This blog features a five-video series demonstrating how effective principals use key practices in their school daily.

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Collective leadership: Leading the schools of tomorrow - Center for Teaching Quality #CTQCollab

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In the forthcoming series of blogs in this roundtable, K-12 public education leaders from across the country, working in different […]

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What is EDUCATIONAL LEADERSHIP? What does EDUCATIONAL LEADERSHIP mean?

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The Purdue University Online Writing Lab serves writers from around the world and the Purdue University Writing Lab helps writers on Purdue’s campus.

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How Remarkable Women Lead presents unique ideas about successful leadership. Based on 5 years of proprietary research, this book raises provocative issues such as whether feminine leadership traits (for women and men) are better suited for our fast-changing, hyper-competitive and increasingly complex world.

Through personal stories, the authors, McKinsey consultants Joanna Barsh and Susie Cranston, establish the links between joy, happiness, and distinctive performance with the groundbreaking model of Centered Leadership. The book's personal stories and related insights show how success leads from combining the five elements of Centered Leadership: meaning, framing, connecting, engaging, and energizing.

They include:

How Alondra de la Parra built on her strengths and passions to infuse her life with meaning and make her way in the male-dominated world of orchestra conducting.

How Andrea Jung, the CEO of Avon, avoided a downward spiral when the company turned down by "firing herself" on Friday, re-emerging on Monday as the "new" turnaround CEO.

How Ruth Porat's sponsors at Morgan Stanley not only helped her grow but were also her ballast for coping with difficult personal and professional times.

How Eileen Naughton recovered after losing her dream job, landing on her feet at Google and open to new leadership opportunity.

How Julie Coates of Woolworth's Australia turns energy into a key to her professional success with reserves for her "second shift" as wife and mother.

How Remarkable Women Lead is at once moving and practical. Through lessons and insights based on the stories of successful leaders, this book provides a practical plan for breaking through at both work and in life.

Join How Remarkable Women Lead on Facebook.

About the authors

Joanna Barsh

Joanna Barsh joined McKinsey in 1981 and is a senior partner. Along with her consulting work, she leads the McKinsey Centered Leadership Project, whose goal is to help develop women leaders. Joanna is a New York City Commissioner of Women's Issues and received the Girl Scouts Council Woman of Distinction Award and the National Council of Research on Women Award. Joanna is also a trustee of Sesame Workshop. She was a Baker Scholar at Harvard Business School.

Susie Cranston

Susie Cranston is an organization consultant at McKinsey's San Francisco office. As part of the McKinsey Centered Leadership Project, Susie led a team that completed the research for the Centered Leadership model. She received a B.A. and M.B.A. from Stanford University.

Reviews

"We are always looking for new perspectives on growing great women leaders. How Remarkable Women Lead is a great read, with real insights and actionable ideas! The inspiring stories give an intimate look at how remarkable women really get things done, providing a development model valuable to both women and men. This refreshing and action-oriented book stands out!"
- Susan P. Peters, vice president, executive development & chief learning officer, General Electric

"Anyone who believes that management innovation is an imperative will find fistfuls of insights in How Remarkable Women Lead. Here are the stories of amazing women leaders in the context of an imaginative and pragmatic framework that rests on a rich fact base. It puts to rest stereotypes we have about who leaders are and how to lead. This work contributes to a much-needed conversation, putting forth a persuasive view on new capabilities for the 21st century leader, such as engaging the whole organization through meaning, energy and joy. The seeds for our future are in here. The new CEO is a woman or a man who is not afraid to drop his John Wayne costume."
- Gary Hamel, author of The Future of Management and Leading the Revolution

" How Remarkable Women Lead is a book that will truly resonate with all women. It is personal, powerful and revealing and thereby true to how we women live and lead. The story-telling makes this unlike any business book I know; these are people who have faced every challenge imaginable and still made their mark. So truthful, so revealing, it's a book at once inspirational and practical - a unique duality."
- Elizabeth Smith, president, Avon Products, Inc

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How Remarkable Women Lead | People & Organizational Performance

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How Remarkable Women Lead presents unique ideas about successful leadership. Based on 5 years of proprietary research, this book raises provocative issues such as whether feminine leadership traits (for women and men) are better suited for our fast-changing, hyper-competitive and increasingly complex world.

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THE 5 DYSFUNCTIONS OF A TEAM by Patrick Lencioni | Core Message

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Spread the loveAll great leaders have unique qualities that make them effective, inspiring, and admired. Nevertheless, there are identifiable traits and skills successful change-makers possess that separate them from the rest of the pack. Let's dig in and explore 6 skills of great educational leaders, and how they impact the school community.

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Trait Theory - History of Personality Psychology

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Behavioral Theories and Sigmund Freud – Psychiatry | Lecturio

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Charismatic Leadership - Leadership Skills

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What is Transformational Leadership - Irina Ketkin

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Servant leadership : How to lead with the heart ?  | Liz Theophille | TEDxSaclay

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How to analyze an educational leadership case study

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The ASAP® course catalog has been published and includes information on all our standards-based ASAP® course modules, as well as the ASAP® assessments, workbooks, case studies and academies. Download the ASAP Catalog today!

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The ASAP® course catalog has been published and includes information on all our standards-based ASAP® course modules, as well as the ASAP® assessments, workbooks, case studies and academies. Download the ASAP Catalog today!

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Emotional Inteligence - A Minute With John Maxwell, Free Coaching Video

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In some jobs, being in touch with emotions is essential. In others, it seems to be a detriment. And like any skill, being able to read people can be used for good or evil.

Some of the greatest moments in human history were fueled by emotional intelligence. When Martin Luther King, Jr. presented his dream, he chose language that would stir the hearts of his audience. "Instead of honoring this sacred obligation" to liberty, King thundered, "America has given the Negro people a bad check." He promised that a land "sweltering with the heat of oppression" could be "transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice," and envisioned a future in which "on the red hills of Georgia sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave-owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood."

Delivering this electrifying message required emotional intelligence-the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions. Dr. King demonstrated remarkable skill in managing his own emotions and in sparking emotions that moved his audience to action. As his speechwriter Clarence Jones reflected, King delivered "a perfectly balanced outcry of reason and emotion, of anger and hope. His tone of pained indignation matched that note for note."
Emotional intelligence is important, but the unbridled enthusiasm has obscured a dark side.
Recognizing the power of emotions, another one of the most influential leaders of the 20th century spent years studying the emotional effects of his body language. Practicing his hand gestures and analyzing images of his movements allowed him to become "an absolutely spellbinding public speaker," says the historian Roger Moorhouse-"it was something he worked very hard on." His name was Adolf Hitler.

Since the 1995 publication of Daniel Goleman's bestseller, emotional intelligence has been touted by leaders, policymakers, and educators as the solution to a wide range of social problems. If we can teach our children to manage emotions, the argument goes, we'll have less bullying and more cooperation. If we can cultivate emotional intelligence among leaders and doctors, we'll have more caring workplaces and more compassionate healthcare. As a result, emotional intelligence is now taught widely in secondary schools, business schools, and medical schools.

Emotional intelligence is important, but the unbridled enthusiasm has obscured a dark side. New evidence shows that when people hone their emotional skills, they become better at manipulating others. When you're good at controlling your own emotions, you can disguise your true feelings. When you know what others are feeling, you can tug at their heartstrings and motivate them to act against their own best interests.

Social scientists have begun to document this dark side of emotional intelligence. In emerging research led by University of Cambridge professor Jochen Menges, when a leader gave an inspiring speech filled with emotion, the audience was less likely to scrutinize the message and remembered less of the content. Ironically, audience members were so moved by the speech that they claimed to recall more of it.

The authors call this the awestruck effect, but it might just as easily be described as the dumbstruck effect. One observer reflected that Hitler's persuasive impact came from his ability to strategically express emotions-he would "tear open his heart"-and these emotions affected his followers to the point that they would "stop thinking critically and just emote."
"Whenever we wanted to persuade our staff to support a particular project we always tried to break their hearts."
Leaders who master emotions can rob us of our capacities to reason. If their values are out of step with our own, the results can be devastating. New evidence suggests that when people have self-serving motives, emotional intelligence becomes a weapon for manipulating others. In a study led by the University of Toronto psychologist Stéphane Côté, university employees filled out a survey about their Machiavellian tendencies, and took a test measuring their knowledge about effective strategies for managing emotions. Then, Cote's team assessed how often the employees deliberately undermined their colleagues. The employees who engaged in the most harmful behaviors were Machiavellians with high emotional intelligence. They used their emotional skills to demean and embarrass their peers for personal gain. In one computer company studied by Tel-Aviv University professor Gideon Kunda, a manager admitted to telling a colleague "how excited we all are with what he is doing," but at the same time, "distancing my organization from the project," so "when it blows up," the company's founder would blame the colleague.

Shining a light on this dark side of emotional intelligence is one mission of a research team led by University College London professor Martin Kilduff. According to these experts, emotional intelligence helps people disguise one set of emotions while expressing another for personal gain. Emotionally intelligent people "intentionally shape their emotions to fabricate favorable impressions of themselves," Professor Kilduff's team writes. "The strategic disguise of one's own emotions and the manipulation of others' emotions for strategic ends are behaviors evident not only on Shakespeare's stage but also in the offices and corridors where power and influence are traded."

Of course, people aren't always using emotional intelligence for nefarious ends. More often than not, emotional skills are simply instrumental tools for goal accomplishment. In a study of emotions at the Body Shop, a research team led by Stanford professor Joanne Martin discovered that founder Anita Roddick leveraged emotions to inspire her employees to fundraise for charity. As Roddick explained, "Whenever we wanted to persuade our staff to support a particular project we always tried to break their hearts." However, Roddick also encouraged employees to be strategic in the timing of their emotion expressions. In one case, after noticing that an employee often "breaks down in tears with frustration," Roddick said it was acceptable to cry, but "I told her it has to be used. I said, 'Here, cry at this point in the ... meeting." When viewing Roddick as an exemplar of an emotionally intelligent leader, it becomes clear that there's a fine line between motivation and manipulation. Walking that tightrope is no easy task.
In jobs that required extensive attention to emotions, higher emotional intelligence translated into better performance. In jobs that involved fewer emotional demands, the results reversed.
In settings where emotions aren't running high, emotional intelligence may have hidden costs. Recently, psychologists Dana Joseph of the University of Central Florida and Daniel Newman of the University of Illinois comprehensively analyzed every study that has ever examined the link between emotional intelligence and job performance. Across hundreds of studies of thousands of employees in 191 different jobs, emotional intelligence wasn't consistently linked with better performance. In jobs that required extensive attention to emotions, higher emotional intelligence translated into better performance. Salespeople, real-estate agents, call-center representatives, and counselors all excelled at their jobs when they knew how to read and regulate emotions-they were able to deal more effectively with stressful situations and provide service with a smile.

However, in jobs that involved fewer emotional demands, the results reversed. The more emotionally intelligent employees were, the lower their job performance. For mechanics, scientists, and accountants, emotional intelligence was a liability rather than an asset. Although more research is needed to unpack these results, one promising explanation is that these employees were paying attention to emotions when they should have been focusing on their tasks. If your job is to analyze data or repair cars, it can be quite distracting to read the facial expressions, vocal tones, and body languages of the people around you. In suggesting that emotional intelligence is critical in the workplace, perhaps we've put the cart before the horse.

Instead of assuming that emotional intelligence is always useful, we need to think more carefully about where and when it matters. In a recent study at a healthcare company, I asked employees to complete a test about managing and regulating emotions, and then asked managers to evaluate how much time employees spent helping their colleagues and customers. There was no relationship whatsoever between emotional intelligence and helping: Helping is driven by our motivations and values, not by our abilities to understand and manage emotions. However, emotional intelligence was consequential when examining a different behavior: challenging the status quo by speaking up with ideas and suggestions for improvement.

Emotionally intelligent employees spoke up more often and more effectively. When colleagues were treated unjustly, they felt the righteous indignation to speak up, but were able to keep their anger in check and reason with their colleagues. When they went out on a limb to advocate for gender equity, emotional intelligence helped them keep their fear at bay. When they brought ideas for innovation to senior leaders, their ability to express enthusiasm helped them avoid threatening leaders. On a much smaller scale, they were able to follow Martin Luther King Jr.'s lead in rocking the boat while keeping it steady.

More than two decades have passed since psychologists Peter Salovey at Yale and John Mayer at the University of New Hampshire introduced the concept of emotional intelligence in 1990. Why has it taken us so long to develop a more nuanced view? After Daniel Goleman popularized the idea in 1995, many researchers-perhaps awestruck themselves by enthusiasm for the concept of emotional intelligence-proceeded to conduct studies that were fatally flawed. As University of Lausanne professor John Antonakis observed, "practice and voodoo science is running way ahead of rigorous research."

One of the most persistent problems was the use of self-report measures, which asked employees to rate their own emotional abilities on items like "I can tell how people are feeling even if they never tell me" and "I am generally very good at calming someone down when he or she is upset." Abilities cannot be accurately measured with self-reports. As emotion experts Sigal Barsade of Wharton and Donald Gibson of Fairfield University lament, "One might compare this approach to assessing mathematical skills by asking respondents, 'How good are you at solving algebraic equations?' rather than asking the person to actually solve an algebraic equation."

Thanks to more rigorous research methods, there is growing recognition that emotional intelligence-like any skill-can be used for good or evil. So if we're going to teach emotional intelligence in schools and develop it at work, we need to consider the values that go along with it and where it's actually useful. As Professor Kilduff and colleagues put it, it is high time that emotional intelligence is "pried away from its association with desirable moral qualities."

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In some jobs, being in touch with emotions is essential. In others, it seems to be a detriment. And like any skill, being able to read people can be used for good or evil. Some of the greatest moments in human history were fueled by emotional intelligence. When Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Research by the respected Center for Creative Leadership (CCL) in the U.S. found that the primary causes of executive derailment involve deficiencies in emotional competence. Each year, CCL serves more than 20,000 individuals and 2,000 organizations, including more than 80 of the Fortune 100 companies. It says the three main reasons for failure are difficulty in handling change, inability to work well in a team, and poor interpersonal relations.

International search firm Egon Zehnder International analyzed 515 senior executives and discovered that those who were strongest in emotional intelligence were more likely to succeed than those strongest in either IQ or relevant previous experience. Research that has been done on the relationship between emotional intelligence (EQ) and IQ has shown only a weak correlation between the two.

The Carnegie Institute of Technology carried out research that showed that 85% of our financial success was due to skills in "human engineering", personality, and ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead. They found that only 15% was due to technical ability. In other words people skills or skills highly related to emotional intelligence were crucial skills. Nobel Prize winning Israeli-American psychologist Daniel Kahneman found that people would rather do business with a person they like and trust rather than someone they don't, even if that that person is offering a better product at a lower price.

People would rather do business with a person they like and trust rather than someone they don't, even if that that person is offering a better product at a lower price.

To test out his findings, think of the last time you purchased a major item, a home, automobile, or large appliance where you had to dealings with a salesperson. Was the person someone who you liked and trusted? In my talks, I have found that whenever I asked that question, inevitably the entire audience answered that, yes, the person they bought a large item from was someone they liked and trusted. This theory about why salespeople with the right people skills do better than those who lack them is borne out by a study carried out by the Hay/McBer Research and Innovation Group in 1997. In a study carried out in a large national insurance company in 1997, they found that sales agents weak in emotional areas such as self-confidence, initiative, and empathy sold policies with an average premium of $54,000, while those strong in 5 of 8 emotional competencies sold policies on the average worth $114,000.

Much of the research that has been done on emotional intelligence has been at the executive leadership level. The higher up the organization, the more crucial emotional intelligence abilities are as the impacts are greater and felt throughout the entire organization. There have been some studies, however, that show impacts at all levels.

The higher up the organization the more crucial emotional intelligence abilities are as the impacts are greater and felt throughout the entire organization.

For example, a study by McClelland in 1999 showed that after supervisors in a manufacturing plant received training in emotional competencies such as how to listen better, lost-time accidents decreased by 50% and grievances went down from 15 per year to three. The plant itself exceeded productivity goals by $250,000.

The same principles apply in all areas of life, whether at work or in relationships. Everyone wants to work with people who are easy to get along with, supportive, likeable, and can be trusted. We want to be beside people that do not get upset easily and can keep their composure when things do not work out according to plan.

Self-awareness. The first thing that is essential for any degree of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. People with a high degree of self-awareness have a solid understanding of their own emotions, their strengths, weaknesses, and what drives them. Neither overly critical nor unrealistically hopeful, these people are honest with themselves and others. These people recognize how their feelings impact them, other people around them, and their performance at work. They have a good understanding of their values and goals and where they are going in life. They are confident as well as aware of their limitations and less likely to set themselves up for failure.

We can recognize self-aware people by their willingness to talk about themselves in a frank, non-defensive manner. A good interview question is to ask about a time that the interviewee got carried away by their emotions and did something they later regretted. The self-aware person will be open and frank with their answers. Self-deprecating humor is a good indicator of someone who has good self-awareness. Red flags are people who stall or try to avoid the question, seem irritated, or frustrated by the question.

Ability To Self-Regulate Emotions. We all have emotions which drive us and there is nothing we can do to avoid them. People who are good at self-regulation, however, are able to manage their emotions so that they do not control their words and actions. While they feel bad moods and impulses as much as anyone else, they do not act upon them. People who act upon their negative feelings create havoc, disruptions, and lasting bad feelings all around them. We feel before we think and people who constantly react from an emotional state never wait long enough to allow their thoughts to override their emotions.

People who self-regulate have the ability to wait until their emotions pass, allowing them to respond from a place of reason, rather than simply reacting to feelings. The signs of someone who is good at self-regulation are reflection, thoughtfulness, comfort with ambiguity, change, and not having all the answers. In an interview, look for people who take a little time to reflect and think before they answer.

Empathy. Empathy is another important aspect to look for when hiring. Someone who has empathy will have an awareness of the feelings of others and consider those feelings in their words and actions. This does not mean that they will tiptoe around or be unwilling to make tough decisions for fear of hurting someone's feelings. It simply means that they are aware of, and take into consideration the impact on others. They are willing to share their own worries and concerns and openly acknowledge other's emotions. A good way to look for empathy in an interview is to ask a candidate about a situation where a co-worker was angry with them and how they dealt with it. Look for a willingness to understand the source of the co-workers anger, even though they may not agree with the reasons for it.

Social skills. Social skill is another area of emotional intelligence that is highly important in the workplace. To have good social skills requires a high level of the other skills aforementioned as well as the ability to relate and find common ground with a wide range of people. It goes beyond just friendliness and the ability to get along with others.

People with social skills are excellent team players as they have the ability to move an agenda along and keep focus while at the same time remaining aware of the emotional climate of the group and possess the ability to respond to it. These people are excellent at making connections, networking, and bringing people together to work on projects. They are able to bring their emotional intelligence skills into play in a larger arena. To look for social skills in an interview, ask questions related to projects and difficulties encountered around varying agendas, temperaments, and getting people to buy in.

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Why Emotionally Intelligent People Are More Successful

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Research by the respected Center for Creative Leadership (CCL) in the U.S. found that the primary causes of executive derailment involve deficiencies in emotional competence. Each year, CCL serves more than 20,000 individuals and 2,000 organizations, including more than 80 of the Fortune 100 companies.

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Council Post: Why Emotional Intelligence Is Indispensable For Leaders

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When you truly try to place yourself in another’s situation, it will help you choose the best method to solve problems and achieve your goals.

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Anyone trying to come up to speed on emotional intelligence would have a pretty easy time of it since the concept is remarkably recent, and its application to business newer still. The term was coined in 1990 in a research paper by two psychology professors, John D. Mayer of UNH and Peter Salovey of Yale. Some years later, Mayer defined it in HBR this way:

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How Emotional Intelligence Became a Key Leadership Skill

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A reading list to bring you up to speed.

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The more that you, as a leader, manage each of these areas, the higher your emotional intelligence. So, let's look at each element in more detail and examine how you can grow as a leader.

Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

1. Self-awareness

If you're self-aware, you always know how you feel, and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self-aware when you're in a leadership position also means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses, and it means behaving with humility.

So, what can you do to improve your self-awareness?

Keep a journal. Journals help you improve your self-awareness. If you spend just a few minutes each day writing down your thoughts, this can move you to a higher degree of self-awareness.

2. Self-regulation

Leaders who regulate themselves effectively rarely verbally attack others, make rushed or emotional decisions, stereotype people, or compromise their values. Self-regulation is all about staying in control.

This element of emotional intelligence, according to Goleman, also covers a leader's flexibility and commitment to personal accountability.

So, how can you improve your ability to self-regulate?

Hold yourself accountable. If you tend to blame others when something goes wrong, stop. Make a commitment to admit to your mistakes and to face the consequences, whatever they are. You'll probably sleep better at night, and you'll quickly earn the respect of those around you.

Practice being calm. The next time you're in a challenging situation, be very aware of how you act. Do you relieve your stress by shouting at someone else? Practice deep-breathing exercises to calm yourself. Also, try to write down all of the negative things you want to say, and then rip it up and throw it away. Expressing these emotions on paper (and not showing them to anyone!) is better than speaking them aloud to your team. What's more, this helps you challenge your reactions to ensure that they're fair!

3. Motivation

Self-motivated leaders work consistently toward their goals, and they have extremely high standards for the quality of their work.

How can you improve your motivation?

Re-examine why you're doing your job. It's easy to forget what you really love about your career. So, take some time to remember why you wanted this job. If you're unhappy in your role and you're struggling to remember why you wanted it, try the Five Whys technique to find the root of the problem. Starting at the root often helps you look at your situation in a new way. And make sure that your goal statements are fresh and energizing. For more on this, see our article on Goal Setting.

4. Empathy

For leaders, having empathy is critical to managing a successful team or organization. Leaders with empathy have the ability to put themselves in someone else's situation. They help develop the people on their team, challenge others who are acting unfairly, give constructive feedback, and listen to those who need it.

If you want to earn the respect and loyalty of your team, then show them you care by being empathic.

How can you improve your empathy?

Respond to feelings. You ask your assistant to work late - again. And although he agrees, you can hear the disappointment in his voice. So, respond by addressing his feelings. Tell him you appreciate how willing he is to work extra hours, and that you're just as frustrated about working late. If possible, figure out a way for future late nights to be less of an issue (for example, give him Monday mornings off).

5. Social Skills

Leaders who do well in the social skills element of emotional intelligence are great communicators. They're just as open to hearing bad news as good news, and they're experts at getting their team to support them and be excited about a new mission or project.

Leaders who have good social skills are also good at managing change and resolving conflicts diplomatically. They're rarely satisfied with leaving things as they are, but they don't sit back and make everyone else do the work: they set an example with their own behavior.

So, how can you build social skills?

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Emotional Intelligence in Leadership - Learning How to Be More Aware

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Relating to others is vital in today's workplace. Learn how to build your emotional intelligence (EI) with this article.

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Good to Great (Jim Collins)

How Remarkable Women Lead (Joanna Barsh)

Leaders Make the Future (Bob Johansen)

Leadership on the Line (Linsky & Heifetz)

Reframing Academic Leadership (Bolman & Gallos)

Reframing the Path to School Leadership (Bolman & Deal)

Shackleton's Way (Morrell & Capparell)

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team (Lencioni)

The Leadership Challenge (Kouzes & Posner)

The Wizard & The Warrior (Bolman & Deal)

With God on All Sides:  Leadership in a Devout and Diverse America (Hicks)

Emotionally Intelligent Leadership: A Guide for Students (Shankman, Allen & Haber-Curran)

Exploring Leadership: For College Students Who Want to Make A Difference (Komives, Lucas, McMahon)

Identity & Leadership (Chavez & Santo)

On Becoming a Servant Leader (Greenleaf)

Making Change Happen in Student Affairs (Barr, McClellan, Sandeen)

Creating Multicultural Change on Campus (Pope, Reynolds, Mueller)

How Colleges Work (Birnbaum)

Changing on the Job: Developing Leaders for a Complex World (Berger)

Do Good Well: Your Guide to Leadership, Action, and Social Innovation (Vasan & Przybylo)

Enhancing Campus Capacity for Leadership: An Examination of Grassroots Leaders in Higher Education (Kezar & Lester)

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Educational leaders play a pivotal role in affecting the climate, attitude and reputation of their schools. But what makes a truly effective leader? Here we offer insight on 10 educational leadership qualities that make for a truly effective school leader.

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Core Values, business ethics motivational inspirational quotes, words typography concept. ... [+]
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I've studied and written quite a bit about core values as they relate to leadership effectiveness and the ability for an organization to build high-performance teams and drive the best possible business outcomes. I explore the impact of core values on organizational success in my first book, TakingPoint, as well as their benefit for personal growth and development in my new book, Embrace the Suck: The Navy SEAL Way to an Extraordinary Life.

As a former Navy SEAL, I was always fascinated by our Ethos and how it guides everything from our talent acquisition strategies to professional development, executing our mission, and fulfilling the vision of the organization. Essentially, the Ethos is a clear set of values and culture manifesto that drives how we make decisions and interact with those both inside and outside of the organization. Our behavioral norms and leadership competencies. It's the foundation of how we emotionally connect to each other and the cause. Everything.

Most (but not all) successful organizations that have heathy growth, sustainability and profitability, understand the importance of shared values and the connection to improved communication, building stronger relationships, and increased performance and results. But without values-based leadership, there can be no real authenticity to the guiding principles an organization seeks to live and operate by.

Values-based leadership instills a common set of values in all employees, improving their cohesiveness and willingness to work together. Knowing that a leader or manager has similar beliefs often encourages employees to follow their instruction, increasing the chance of success with every goal. This enhances engagement, performance, and even retention - all which foster growth and profitability. Values-based leaders have specific traits and other qualities that make them the best at what they do.

In this article, I define values-based leadership, explain what this type of leader does, list their key traits and discuss several of the benefits they bring to organizations. Here are five attributes we've identified at TakingPoint Leadership. That's not to say there aren't more traits we can point to, but our experience and research have these ranked at the top.
Self-Reflection
This behavioral norm is a necessity you learn very early on in Navy SEAL training. Values-based leaders take time each day to reflect on their recent decisions and motivations. Doing so offers them the chance to reevaluate their values, determine their purpose and discover what really matters to them as leaders and members of a team. Strong leaders have the willingness to assess themselves in these areas and the honesty to diagnose the truth.

Effective self-reflection must often start with open feedback from those above you, your peers, and direct reports. This ensures the leader has the ability to identify and address blind spots in how they engage others, make decisions, and accurately communicate the vision.
Balance
Values-based leaders have the ability to look at situations from different viewpoints and integrate diversity of thought from the team while leveraging the core values in all decision-making. They understand the value of each team member and therefore leverage the strengths of the team in all scenarios.

They know when to lead, when to follow, and when to set the direction and get out of the way. Values-based leaders are more effective at decentralizing decision-making and leadership because higher degrees of trust exist up and down the chain of command.
Humility
I'll begin this section by saying I've made plenty of mistakes as it relates to values-based leadership in the past. Consistency of discipline in this area is a discipline in and of itself! Humility in leadership is the belief that they are no different than the people who work for them. These leaders believe that every employee holds just as much value to the company as they do. Humble leaders do what it takes to lift their teams up and ensure they are well taken care of for their work.

Their ultimate goals involve protecting the team, pushing praise down, and taking total ownership over mistakes and missed opportunities. They understand that the performance and results delivered by the team rests with them. They continually ask themselves and others, "What can I do to be a better leader for this team?"
Authenticity
The most effective leaders are honest and transparent with their teams. And equally as important, their words match actions consistently on and off the battlefield. They continually lean on their value system in their personal and professional lives. They develop relationships in a very similar fashion inside and outside of the organization. They truly care about people which is made abundantly clear in their leadership style.

Authentic leaders are highly self-aware and engage in the practice of improving emotional intelligence. They are mission-driven and think long-term. And most importantly, they take every opportunity to integrate the organization's core values into all communication when appropriate.
Continuous Improvement
Due to their natural traits of authenticity and humility, leaders who take a values-based approach, are never satisfied with the status quo. They believe in receiving honest feedback, continuous improvement, and life-long learning. And they don't pursue continual development simply for themselves, they do it for the people they lead.

So, what does all this accomplish? The three top organizational benefits are:

1. Improved communication - Shared values in a team lends way to greater alignment. With the help of this alignment, employees and managers are free to communicate with each other, even on sensitive subjects. Everyone is more open about their thoughts and opinions. It also improves communication with those outside the organization by bridging the gap between company and consumer.

2. Stronger relationships - People who have similar values to each other and to those of the organization will build stronger bonds, look out for each other, and engage in more meaningful interactions than those that don't. Plain and simple.

3. Higher levels of performance - Values-based leaders drive higher levels of performance by selecting and developing talent that connect with the purpose and mission of the organization. Similar to the SEAL Teams, in this cultural environment, team members are willing to give more of their time, abilities and energy in achieving common goals. They put the team's needs before their own.

How can your organization take values-based leadership to the next level?

... Read More

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5 Attributes (And Benefits) Of Values-Based Leadership

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Values-based leadership instills a common set of values in all employees, improving their cohesiveness and willingness to work together. Knowing that a leader or manager has similar beliefs often encourages employees to follow their instruction, increasing the chance of success with every goal.