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THIS GODFORSAKEN THING

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goodbye padlet for the summer <3 :(

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when you take a screenshot but the little "28x31" or whatever is in the corner menacingly................

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*releases pack of dads into Home Depot* go.......... be free

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omg.. i just realized you dont go homo or bi or trans to hell
you go "straight" to hell
wake up america

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Sally: Hey Masky wanna come to the halloween party?
Jeff: Someone will die..
Sally: Of fun!

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W0RMY'S PHOTO SHOOT IS THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE 21st CENTURY AND IT PREMIERS IN ONLY LIKE 1 HOUR SO GET READYYYYYYYYYYY

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everyone: is watching the movie
me: *is super happy cause I saw a pride flag button pinned to katies hoodie*

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wh3n you can us3 th3 numb3r thr33 as a l3tt3r :o

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presenting...
what to do if someone's annoying you!
-1. Fling them off a cliff. Can't possibly go wrong, except if someone sees you...
-2. Repeat every word they say in a high pitched mocking voice.
-3. Play annoying pop music at full volume while they talk.
-4. Get in an argument then say "Excuse me but I want McDonalds what about you?"
-5. Scream.

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LILY I PAUSED STAR WARS AT THE PERFECT MOMENT

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oops my han slipped

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i hate rain and snow and sunlight and coldness and in between warm and cold

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someone: what are your talents?
me: *opens coke can with my foot*
beat that

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why is it that its so hard to fall asleep and then when it finally happens then you have to wake up and return to life

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ya know if the mafia ran the country we'd have half the corruption and twice the fun

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someone: what do you want to do with your life?
me: be an anarchist, protect lgbtq+ kids, and commit arson

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*leans against wall*
*sips a capri sun*
hey

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i've found that when you add the word "mom" to mcr song titles they instantly become funnier
"its not a fashion statement its a deathwish, mom"
"this is how i dissapear mom"
"welcome to the black parade, mom"

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me: you know that according to schrodinger everything that you put in a box is both dead and alive

everyone at the funeral: *stares nervously at the coffin*

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NO THE PRIVATE CHAT NO THE PRIVAAAAAAAATE CHAAAT

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noah and i play a game on google translate where we type dumb stuff into other languages and then try to guess what it says for example:
je mange du pain means im eating bread in french and noah thought it meant im being murdered

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mr howe is tall

thats it

thats the post

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i saw someone take one bite of a burger and then throw it into the street and to see the death of something so wonderful just cracked my fragile heart

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since apparently bisexuals, pansexuals, asexuals, and aromantics dont exist rob a fucking bank, if you dont exist they cant arrest you

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the only exceptable creepypasta ship is jeff x his knife

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ferrets are cute

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if i ever buy as much useless things as someone in a math problem please take me to a mental hospital

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if you ever feel useless remember that my cousin spent 30 minutes whacking a smudge on the ceiling cause he thought it was a spider

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somewhere in canada theres an island in a lake on an island in a lake on an island in a lake on an island

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i also made jeff, liu, and jane :D

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im pretty sure child labor laws say that children arent to be forced to work against their will but at school we work with no say in it.....school might be illegal

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i made you, me and sasha

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see yeah i can pull off faking tasks as the imposter...
but what about faking tasks a crewmate??
me getting voted out for faking a task as crewmate**
at least now i know my stupidity was worth it to imagine the people's confusion

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how to make someone hate you for life:
*get a bag of m&ms and a bag of skittles*
*mix them together in a bowl*
*wait for someone to walk by and grab a handful*
*listen to screams of disgust*

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*my family at dinner*
Noah: Hey I watched a timelapse of cucumber rotting on youtube and after a few days it started getting so moldy it was fuzzy! There was also a rotting fish one where all its skin peeled away and the organs fell out!
Evan: Oh yeah that reminds me of the mutilated headless bird bella tried to eat earlier
My mom: Can we just talk about our day like normal people

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do you ever just feel the need to hit all the annoying people in life with hot frying pans right in the face then walk away after hearing them thunk satisfyingly over

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someone in among us: *is being a dickhead*
me:

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i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people then scatter human teeth on their bed

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*holds your hand while we walk and swings it a little*
*swings my arm at maximum velocity and flings u into the sun*

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I MADE CLOCKY TOO I HAVE A PROBLEM

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so i made sally...

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*reads creepypasta with intense focus*

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what's the point of tests if they don't give us candy?!?!?

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unicorn + border collie = unicollie
i need this to be invented and buy a shirt with it right now

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hello. i am from the forest. i know everything ask me anything

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*throwing pencils maniacally*

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when someone takes your gold in blooket but then the next round you swap with them that is the true meaning of power

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you know when you go to something like a family reunion or funeral and then you see a relative and theyre like look how much youve grown! and youre like ive never fucking seen you before

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I think Liu is the type of friend that sends you "good morning!" texts and pictures of cute animals and Jeff is the type where you dont hear from him for weeks until he finally sends you a picture of trash and says thats me

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can everyone come to my funeral in FBI outfits and stand in the back silently so my family thinks i lived a cool double life

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roses are red, that much is true
violets are purple, not fucking blue

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searching on google images when you insert a picture on ur google doc be like:

*searches up dog*
*first picture is of a taco in a bathtub*

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I saw a spider on my bed earlier and now im afraid to sleep

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i had a bandaid on my finger for a while and i took it off now part of my finger is slightly numb
also kinda purple
i'm okay

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me on chromebook:
*tab wont load*
*clicks reset and new tab a thousand times*
*tab loads along with the other thousand tabs*
*computer crashes*
-annoyed lily shrieking-
*computer wont turn on*
*clicks on button over and over*
*google chrome won't load*

*the whole above process repeated*

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meanwhile on slenderman's snapchat

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stab wound? no. EXTRA POCKET :D

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me when i drag my cousins into the creepypasta fandom:

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Suicide Sadie: seriously like the weirdest feeling is when you eat nothing but junk food for days and just feel wrong and the only way to get rid of the feeling is to eat something healthy..
Laughing Jack: I once ate nothing but gushers and coke for 3 days straight and all i wanted was more gushers am i dying?
Sadie: Listen your a great friend but you scare me sometimes.

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no one:
me at 3am: *singing* Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another, just another, uh oh
Just another LA devotee

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no one:
me: *spends 10 minutes trying to spell absolutely*

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no one:
absolutely no one:
me trying to make a friend: be my friend or i'll set your entire family on fire

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*me after swapping gold with sasha in blooket*
SORRY DONT HATE ME
sasha: LILY WHYYY I COULDVE WON WHY WHYYY
me: BLOOKET RUINS FRIENDSHIPS
ms kohler: its so funny how you take this so seriously
*everyone glares at ms kohler*

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*KICKS YOUR DOOR DOWN*
*THRUSTS A SOFT BLANKET AND A CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE INTO YOUR HANDS*
[SCREAMING] I CARE ABOUT YOU A LOT AND HOPE YOU FIND PEACE AND HAPPINESS IN LIFE
*BEATS UP ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE*
*AKWARDLY PUTS DOOR BACK ON HINGES AND LEAVES*

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someone: are you okay?
me: im fine
someone: what does fine mean for you?
me: it means im perfectly content but also wouldnt mind if the sun exploded right now and killed us all :)

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true funny story time :D
my family: talking
me: *runs in the room with one sock on my headphones dangling from my phone while pumping Na Na Na by mcr* WHO THE HECK PUT SKITLES IN MY BOWL OF M AND M'S?

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a game show where a toddler has to choose between a check for 8.5 million dollars and a basket full of cheap 5 dollar toys and in the background you can see the parents screaming while locked in a soundproof room watching their child

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no one neds double leters we pronounce stuf the same way regarldes so lets just start speling the way our ancestors wanted us to

wait that could be problematic nvm

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me when i have to take off my headphones to talk to someone:
yes
yes
yea
yup
okay cool
bye
bye
bye
bye
*puts headphones back on*

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Jeff: Bathtubs that can't submerge an entire adult body should be illegal
Liu: Okay I know what you meant but you should probably reword that sentence

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sometimes i fall asleep on my arm and then i cant feel it so i spend like five minutes in the morning just shaking it in the air like a maniac and when it starts to hurt i know i have fixed it

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what happens when I do math homework
*screams*
*writes fiercely*
*snaps pencil*
*screams again*
*runs away*

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being 11/12 years old is SO ANNOYING cause people either treat you like youre way younger than you are or way older than you are

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FUCK MAP TESTS

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welcome to bad joke tuesday!
my friend david lost his ID. we call him dav now

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Toby: Do you think soda cans are alive and everytime you take one out of the pack and open it youre really snapping it's neck and drinking it's blood infront of its family?

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Jeff: You call it bad at darts but I call it freestyle acupuncture

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WORM ON A PRIDE FLAG POG :D

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Clockwork: lets abolish all clocks, the concept of time itself. live by sunlight. internal clocks and primal instincts ONLY!'
Jane: Are you okay?

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Jeff: It smells like cookies baking but it's just us and it's 3am..
Liu: Let's embrace our inner white people in a horror movie and check it out!

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Toby: If you kill me my teeth only have a 2% drop rate
Clockwork: what
Toby: Good luck

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BEN: If I've learned anything from video games it's that if you meet enemies it means your going in the right direction.
Toby: That's inspiring :')
Jeff: Holy fucking shit...

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part of being young is having two completely conversations with different people;
conversation 1: cheeseborger

conversation 2: that's why i feel so afraid to talk about my emotions.

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hi if you ever feel sad remember that there is a group of women in india called Gulabi Gang that beat abusive husbands with broomsticks

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Pick Your Gender
1. Female
2. Male
3. I HAVE NO GENDER ONLY RAGE
4. Other

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ʎןןɐǝɹ

ǝuıɟ sı ƃuıɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ

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the B in LGBTQ+ stands for Brendon Urie