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CONTACT – Unaware of own racial identity; does not think of oneself as “white” but as “normal.” Tendency to view racism as “individual acts of meanness” rather than as an institutionalized system, and typically does not recognize or acknowledge “white privilege.” Naïve curiosity or fear of people of color, usually based on stereotypes.

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DISINTEGRATION - Awareness of racism and white privilege increase as a result of personal experiences. Common emotional responses to this new information include shame, guilt, denial, anger, depression, and withdrawal. May attempt to persuade others to abandon racist thinking.

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REINTEGRATION – May feel pressured by others to “not notice” racism. Feelings of guilt and denial are transformed into fear and anger toward people of color; common response is to “blame the victim.” Chooses to avoid the issue of racism, if possible, rather than struggling to define a non-racist identity.

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PSEUDO-INDEPENDENCE – Individual is abandoning beliefs in white superiority. Has an intellectual understanding of the unfairness of white privilege and recognizes personal responsibility for dismantling racism. May choose to distance oneself from other whites, and actively seek out people of color to help him/her better understand racism.

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IMMERSION/EMERSION – Actively seeking to redefine whiteness. Asking self-questions such as “Who am I racially?” “What does it really mean to be white in the U.S.?” Needs support from other anti-racist whites who have asked similar questions. Focus is on developing a positive white identity not based on assumed superiority. Takes pride in active anti-racist stance.

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AUTONOMY – Has internalized a positive white racial identity. Actively anti-racist within own sphere of influence. Development of racial identity is not static, continues to be open to new information and ongoing self-examination. Able to work effectively in multiracial setting in “beloved community.”

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Oh yeah - this was my experience a lot of time as an older teenager/going into college - basically understanding that racism existed and that I benefitted from it, but avoiding conversations about it so I didn't have to grapple with it. Being actually uncomfortable in spaces where race was being discussed and even finding it "easier" "to be" in all white spaces. This was some painful cognitive dissonance - to want to be progressive, but to actually see myself choosing otherwise and trying to make myself comfortable with that choice. (This was also about the time when I really learned what cognitive dissonance was!)

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Ali's experience is mine just a couple digits are switched in the zip code. Down to the colorblind/multiculturalism upbringing which made me the "default" and while we had a very "love everyone" approach growing up, it certainly made me/my identity the central "correct" one and every other one an "other." We weren't racist because we were accepting (and not all white people were so we thought we were special).

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It's so hard for me to separate out race from culture here and typically refer to my family's heritage and ethnicity when I talk about being white without really being able to separate out the actual "whiteness" of the identity - the race part v. the ethnicity and cultural parts. That said - it really feels like this is where I'm trying to live right now and especially in working with other white folks to 1. challenge our own racism and 2. celebrate and understand our identity as white people.

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Nah, obviously not.

But I do appreciate what Liz picked up on - it was helpful to have some better framework for understanding what a positive white racial identity can look like (versus trying to operate in that good/bad dichotomy).

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That Ted talk could have been mine. I would say my parents would think of themselves as anti-racist but multi-culturalism and "the gifts of everyone" were emphasized and not identifying how we as a white family benefited from privilege. To be honest I never heard the phrase white privilege until after college.

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We would have conversations growing up about discrimination and racism in really stark terms and examples- civil rights movement, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s legacy, KKK, racist language that we were forbidden to say but never really talked about what was presently happening and how to look out for it and disrupt it. It wasn't until graduate school and expanding my social circle and having more personal relationships and having more exposure to people who would freely talk about race and racism that I examined my own privilege more.

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Struggling to find an example of this. But it does make me curious that I identify as a woman first, then think about race. I identify as a feminist and have studied the women's liberation movement and have had to learn how to think about and practice intersectionality. And that my white experience does not match up with other women's experiences who are not. So many conversations around reproductive rights, economic justice have been from a white women's perspective and  it took me too long to realize that. When you know better, you do better.

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For about 6 years I was roommates with a close friend, who is Black. My friend group expanded to have more Black friends than white for a time and found myself as sometimes the only or one of a few white people at parties, cookouts, etc. I was constantly having realizations and learning that were frankly embarrassing of my lack of a deep understanding of Black culture and how my friends experience the world.

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The homework to name positive aspects of white culture was REALLY hard for me. If our dominant culture is based on white dominant values and we are trying to reverse that, what are we left with? What does is mean to be white? I feel like I have no culture unless I lean back into identifying as Italian or Irish and say that I love Italian food, gathering around my family's table, being proud of Celtic music and culture, etc.

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A (to quote Inside Out) core memory in my understanding of my white privilege comes from reading the Invisible Knapsack in a Gender & Communication class. I think I had some intellectual understanding of my race and racial privilege, but reading that - and for me it was specifically the example about being able to find a band-aid that matched my skin tone - really was critical to me in understanding the practical and tangible elements of my privilege.

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Not here yet!

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This is One Way Corey. I have been following him on social media for 10 years and have watched him go through an identity process. 

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I grew up in southwest Philly during the white flight era of that neighborhood in the 80s and 90s, which was changing from Irish/Italian to Black, African (Liberia and Sudan), and Vietnamese. We had race wars (neighborhood-based) through 2000s. My high school was diverse, with white students making up roughly 20% of the student population. Our cafeteria tables were by race mostly.

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In high school, I had to sit outside of my friend's house because i was white and not allowed in. That was probably my first touchpoint. Then when I went to college and left Philly for the first time the visual experience was a bit of a shock in addition to the culture and environment. There were very few students of color at Immaculata.  In high school, I had a Black Planet Dating profile page, like many of my Black friends. I didn't realize it was specifically for Black folks until I was in college which is when I realized Philly was very different than the rest of the state as it pertained to population breakdown by race. That was probably the beginning of when it was becoming clearer to me that I was white and a bit confused. I was always the "token" in high school with my friend and their families because I was white but it did not click then.

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I think this is where I've been living the past 5 years or so and trying to climb out of. I feel like I went through the whole "decolonize your bookshelf" and instagram feed and what not and it made it intellectually easier for me to separate myself from other white folks (basically at my convenience) AND also to listen to/learn from/be led by folks of color but still like at a distance. Not quite a place of cultural immersion. A good example of this is during the pandemic when everything is virtual, I started picking more workouts (that's a generous designation...) led by Black women - and then I'd do them from a distance, solo. So on the one hand, I felt like I was trying to engage with Black culture in a way that wasn't disruptive for Black folks in that space, BUT, it was/is still voyeuristic and othering, and certainly not with any understanding of how it is to be a Black body.

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Similar to Ali Michael's experience growing up, I grew up in a predominately white town and school. Whiteness was the norm and racism was discussed in terms of overt acts and as past acts and usually in relation to slavery, the KKK and the civil rights movement of the 60s. Whiteness was not discussed .

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In reading this, the first thing that comes to mind is a book I read in law school - "How the Irish Became White" - it is the first time I can really remember really thinking about and reflecting on white privilege and the idea of whiteness as it relates to racism.

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This brings me back to being raised in predominately white schools in a predominately white town and leaning on color blindness. Knowing that racism existed, but not questioning the environment around me and why my schools were so white and why my town was so white - avoiding asking the questions and avoiding seeing my and my families role in racism.

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This brings me back to the law school class that led me to read the book I referenced in one of the previous responses. Once I took that class it led me to seek out more like it and to look to attend various speakers on these topics...

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Yes. I suppose I was raised as color blind as we did not speak about racism in my house. I lived in a pre-dominantly white town although our schools were pretty diverse and I had diverse friends growing up and still do. I never knew or thought to ask them if they were dealing with life differently.

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Got stopped by a state trooper for speeding many years ago. He let me go and gave me his phone number instead of a ticket.

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When they refer to "blame the victim," this reminds me of people who need to use government resources such as welfare and white people saying they are lazy or abusing the system.

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What's happening right now - I recognize my personal responsibility for dismantling racism. I appreciate being in these spaces with Ragina to learn how to go through this process.

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I struggle with this. I feel like I identify more by my ethnic background - german and jewish than by just being white.

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Working on it.  Not there yet! It's interesting...I have always thought I have a "positive" racial identity (not being a white supremicist) not realizing that becoming anti-racist requires us to redefine who we are.

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I very much grew up with the "color blind" mentality about race. We were told to tolerate and celebrate diversity but also not mention it

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A few years ago, a nonwhite colleague brought up a comment I made - I thought it was totally innocent, but she pointed out how it was actually racist. And she was right! But I got defensive and tried to explain why she was wrong.. which she clearly was not

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What Elise said really resonates with me - definitely felt easier during my adolescence just to ignore race as best as I could

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Have had the experience of seeking out people of color to try to learn from them - for a time, it was hard to internalize that it was not their responsibility to educate me

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Ditto what Jeanne-Marie said! Really hard to ID positive aspects of white identity. Lindsay shared a resource with us that had some examples, and I did find a few that resonated with me - i.e. value of independence/autonomy (though I am starting to realize that white identity is *too* focused on autonomy and not focused enough on the collective); action orientation; scientific method/cause and effect; future orientation - focus on progress, delayed gratification

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I really loved Ali Michael's distinction: positive white racial identity = knowing that all oppressions are connected; negative white racial identity = attempt at being colorblind. This helped me so much, *and* made me realize that I was looking at the idea of a positive racial identity from the white supremacist dichotomy of "positive = good, negative = bad"

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color blind was the way i was raised.   schools were integrated and diverse but race was not discussed and town had some segregation based on race & wealth. unfortunately i attended a very white, very small private college and this opened my eyes to a lot.

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By junior high I noticed differences in treatment or references to other by race. In familia spaces i would try to call out or argue. Guilt and other feelings related to my whiteness, continued and continue at times

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Still a work in process. Ali Michael's TedTalk brought things up in a way i hadn't fully thought of before.

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First time i remember realizing white was not the norm was hearing from one of my close friends about her grandmother's experiences in the south - prob. around 3rd or 4th grade - and having a sense of differences in our and our families experiences because of race.

I grew up in a family that both discussed racism and white priviledge (without using that term) but also held color blind as the ideal. While these issues were discussed, it was sporadically.

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Humor will save the world!

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https://www.bu.edu/law/profile/david-b-lyons/

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This is definitely how I grew up, in a majority white suburb and school. The general message we were taught in school was that "slavery was bad and the Civil Rights Movement ended discrimination." Talking about race was rare and taboo.

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This happened at various points throughout my childhood, mainly when I traveled outside of my majority white, wealthy town. As a kid, I noticed the effects of redlining, but didn't yet have the language. It made me feel confused, upset, and shame. This was heightened in college, which was much more diverse than where I came from, and also coincided with the rise of BLM/Ferguson. Reading "How Jews Became White Folks" was also key for me to understand how I was both Jewish and white and how those played into one another.

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Similar to a lot of other other people here, I grew up in a predominantly white suburb and attended mostly white schools. The messaging around race was very "colorblind" and issues of prejudice were often discussed as if they were all in the past. High school was a major turning point for me, because my school was close to Baltimore city during the Freddie Grey murder and subsequent protests. This was the first time racial injustice became a major talking point among me and my peers.

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I think my most vivid memories of coming face-to-face with racism centered around visiting my extended family in the deep South. I noticed the way race was talked about was shocking & upsetting, and anyone non-white was often "other-ized". As an older teen I started hearing white people around me using racial slurs which I did not understand the weight of until I was older, but thankfully knew enough to know not to associate with those people.

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Braden

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Quotes-
"I do not need you to empower me. I need you to get out of the way"

"To Whites in this stage, caring about racial issues is tantamount to disrupting the natural social order. Endemic to this developmental space is the disaffection brought about by the ... ultimately disassociated state that whiteness creates. How else could a White family in the early 20th C go to church in the morning and a lynching in the afternoon with no cognitive, emotional or spiritual dissonance? The answer is disassociation."

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I resonated a lot with what Christine E. Sleeter said. I also grew up in a household and community where we, as white people, were discouraged from talking about race. I really liked the quote she included from Applebaum: "One of the ways whites actively perpetuate systemic injustice is when they are privileged in ways that give them permission to be ignorant, oblivious, arrogant and destructive." I now recognize that I grew up with the privilege to be ignorant. I also taught students of color, primiarly ones from Puerto Rico and Dominican Republic, when I was a teacher through TFA so I related a lot to her experience of learning about the experiences of people of color from talking with students.

Sleeter mentioned, "But since White people are socialized to take their dominance for granted, learning to work as a collaborative ally usually does not come naturally, even when they are trying..." I'm realizing that I'm still working on being a collaborative ally and checking myself when I could be stepping into a position of dominance where I shouldn't be.

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"Then he said that once I had their attention, and what was expected of them was clear, they would likely be more ready to delve into the rationale—go deeper, as we often say in diversity and inclusion work— behind why those behaviors and organizational system changes are necessary. In other words, he was suggesting I spark them to ask me for the depth of the rationale and to learn more about race, gender, and other diversity issues."

"And I learned that meeting them where they were gave me greater insight into what they needed. Even though I wanted these leaders to grasp the depth of the issues and to feel and understand oppression, I was really focused on actual systems change."

"There will be times when an older White male is the owner of the consulting firm and will need to be in the role of leader and owner during parts of the work. However, to be effective, that owner must appreciate modeling inclusion behaviors and know how to step back, listen, and not take the lead on everything."

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"The oppressor is also profoundly dehumanized by systems of oppression"