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Independence means that Britain and the United States will be two sovereign nations. You will have no control over our actions. Our new government will be of officials elected by the people in legislative, judicial, and executive branches. I hope this letter will be the end of it and we can go our separate ways. If not, we will not hesitate to fight. I hope you can understand that we can't be together anymore.

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The United States of America

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First of all, you tax me too much. You finished fighting in the Seven Years' war and need some money, but you put too much debt on me. I'm not paying dinner for both of us anymore. Furthermore, I don't even get a say in Parliament. I couldn't stop you from forcing the Stamp Act or any laws forced against me by the British Parliament ("No Taxation without Representation"). Finally, you didn't let my settlers move across the Appalachian mountains.  The Royal Proclamation of 1763 meant that all the land I fought for couldn't even go to me. You are such a controlling person! That's why I broke up with you in 1776.

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It's hard. I lost a lot of money fighting for you and I'm having to tax my people a crap-ton. Plus, other provinces are trying to split from me too. We also had to make some more democratic reforms anyway. I found a new girlfriend, her name is Australia. She is much nicer to me than you Plus, I don't need you anymore. I have Canada, India, Australia, and Africa.

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We had a great relationship together for 100 years, but I feel like we are growing apart. I'm sorry, but I've been seeing France and want to start a relationship with them. I think it's time for us to go our separate ways. I'm breaking up with you because you tax me too high, you don't give me enough attention, and I want more land.

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Dearest King George III and the members of the Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland,

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Dearest King George III and the members of the Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland,

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Britannia may rule the waves, but you won't rule me.