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Facts About Divorce - 20 Facts About Divorce Statistics

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What happens if you have a child and you want to get a divorce?

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What happens if you have a child and you want to get a divorce?

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Parental responsibility after divorce. ... The court will decide which parent gets responsibility. If you have more than one child, the court will decide on responsibility for each child separately. A child of 12 or over can ask the court to grant responsibility to one of the parents.

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4. What few states are the worst to get a divorce in? 

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4. What few states are the worst to get a divorce in? 

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Arkansas, New York and California are among some of the worst states to get divorced in. New York currently does not allow for a no fault divorce, so this leads to lengthy, drawn out and difficult legal battles, and filing fees are $335, with a minimum of 360 days processing. Arkansas has a minimum of 540 processing days, with cohabitation restrictions and strict laws making it difficult to get a no fault divorce there. California has one of the highest filing fees, at $395, but you’re only required to wait 360 days minimum for processing. Another one of the hardest states to get divorced in would be South Carolina. Residents of this state are required to be separated a minimum of one whole year before they’re even allowed to file for divorce, along with some strict residency rules.

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Official Vital Records Blog brought to you by VitalChek

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Your source for information on vital records, birth certificates, death certificates, marriage and divorce records, and so much more!

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Decades of research have confirmed what many of us thought all along: Married people are healthier, happier, and live longer than people who are divorced.

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It is commonly believed that 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, but that is not the case. It is now estimated that only a third of marriages will face dissolution over time.

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The dissolution of a marriage is almost always an upsetting event, at the very least marked by disappointment and the loss of dreams and expectations.

In addition, there are legal, financial, parental, emotional, and practical challenges that require time, energy, and changes in responsibilities. It can take people years to regain equilibrium. Nevertheless, divorce serves an important function legally and emotionally.

One of the most significant events of the 20th century was a change in the roles women could take on in private and public life, allowing women more opportunities for satisfaction and happiness. With a shift in roles inside and outside the house came a necessary-and often contentious-shift in the division of responsibilities inside the home, one of many factors fueling a highly publicized rise in divorce rates and liberalization of divorce laws.

Infidelity has long been a leading cause of divorce, along with financial upheavals. But one consequence of liberalized attitudes to divorce is a major addition to that list-the search for emotional closeness. Individuals today have high expectations for relationship satisfaction.

Research suggests that common reasons for divorce include lack of intimacy, lack of commitment, infidelity, and basic incompatibility. Other prevalent causes are constant conflict, financial differences, addiction, and abuse. Many people articulate the root of their divorce as a betrayal-of expectations, hopes, and dreams for the marriage.

The divorce rate is surprisingly difficult to measure, but the famous "50 percent" statistic may be an overestimate. Some estimates place the divorce rate around 42 to 45 percent. Demographic and socioeconomic factors linked to a lower likelihood of divorce include a higher education level, marrying at an older age, and not having divorced previously.

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Divorce is as much an emotional process as it is a legal process, and It takes courage to start the process of splitting. One or both partners may experience waves of self-doubt. Both need an array of skills to work out the inevitable conflicts and disappointments that arise.

During divorce, two people must come to terms with the relationship failure, set up emotionally and usually financially independent lives, and put the relationship firmly in the past. It is important to understand and accept the role each partner played in the relationship breakdown. It is often helpful for divorcing partners to set up rules of engagement to limit contact with each other. The outside perspective of a professional counselor can be especially beneficial.

Eventually, the emotional turbulence subsides and it becomes possible-and necessary-to incorporate a richly nuanced story of the relationship, its failure, the divorce, and the resulting emotional growth into one's identity. Many exes find it helpful to adopt some kind of ritual-such as an exchange of letters or gifts-to mark the end, acknowledging a past together and moving toward a future apart.

Why can't I let go of my anger toward my ex?

The first step is to accept that the divorce is happening, even if it wasn't your choice. Try to work through your emotions-through journaling, friends, divorce support groups, or therapy-before beginning legal proceedings. If possible, choose a process that keeps you out of court. Finally, work toward forgiveness, both for your ex and yourself.

How Divorce Affects Children

Divorce usually breaks up a household and its routines. Children need assurance that they are still loved by both parents and that they will not be abandoned. They also need to be spared any conversations in which one parent denigrates the other for any reason. It is usually not the actual divorce that harms children but seeing their parents fight and in distress.

Because every child reacts differently to divorce, parental response is best tailored to the needs of each child. Often, kids are scared, confused, angry, or disappointed in one or both parents. The stress of the split and readjustment to change-especially if a household move is involved-can heighten anxiety, increase irritability, create behavior problems, beget social withdrawal or difficulty sleeping. There may be a drop in classroom attentiveness, and grades may suffer.

Many of the effects of divorce on children are short lived and resolve within a year or two. But others may be longer lasting and play out in later attitudes toward romantic relationships.

Successful co- parenting involves shielding children from parental conflict, showing respect for the other parent in front of your child, and supporting their relationship. Maintain open communication with the other parent when possible, or establish an agreed-upon co-parenting schedule. Aim to maintain the child's routines, activities, relationships, and community.

Major life changes and loss, including the end of a relationship, can be risk factors for suicide. In these times, support is essential. Post-traumatic growth can be possible.

Finding "alignment" with an ex-spouse isn't always possible for divorced parents. Nor should it necessarily be the goal. Here's where parallel parenting comes in.

Entrenched in the challenges of a marriage or divorce with a partner suffering from mental health issues? Explore practical legal and emotional strategies for moving forward.

Parental conflict hurts kids. Know the risks for long-term damage, and how to help your children adjust and build resilience during and after your divorce.

Major life changes and loss, including the end of a relationship, can be risk factors for suicide. In these times, support is essential. Post-traumatic growth can be possible.

Finding "alignment" with an ex-spouse isn't always possible for divorced parents. Nor should it necessarily be the goal. Here's where parallel parenting comes in.

Entrenched in the challenges of a marriage or divorce with a partner suffering from mental health issues? Explore practical legal and emotional strategies for moving forward.

Parental conflict hurts kids. Know the risks for long-term damage, and how to help your children adjust and build resilience during and after your divorce.

Find a therapist to heal from a divorce

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The dissolution of a marriage is almost always an upsetting event, at the very least marked by disappointment and the loss of dreams and expectations. In addition, there are legal, financial, parental, emotional, and practical challenges that require time, energy, and changes in responsibilities. It can take people years to regain equilibrium.

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Anger and resentment are common underlying reasons for cheating along with differences in sexual appetite and lack of emotional intimacy.

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Marriage Advice - Best Marriage Advice & Tips for Couples

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Marriage isn't always easy and the sad reality is that not all "I dos" end with a happily ever after no matter how much two people may love each other. It's estimated that 40 to 50 percent of all first marriages, and 60 percent of second marriages in the United States, end in divorce. This can be hard to grasp for someone who is about to get married or is happily married.

So how does this happen? What are the real reasons for divorce? Let's look at the 10 most common reasons for divorce and hopes that you can learn from the mistakes of others.

Top 10 Reasons for Divorce:

1. Infidelity

Extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of most marriages that end in divorce. The reasons why people cheat aren't as cut and dry as our anger may lead us to believe. Anger and resentment are common underlying reasons for cheating, along with differences in sexual appetite and lack of emotional intimacy. Infidelity often begins as a seemingly innocent friendship, says cheating expert Ruth Houston. "It starts as an emotional affair which later becomes a physical affair".

2. Money

Money makes people funny, or so the saying goes, and it's true. Everything from different spending habits and financial goals to one spouse making considerably more money than the other, causing a power struggle can strain a marriage to the breaking point. "Money really touches everything. It impacts people's lives," said Emmet Burns, brand marketing director for SunTrust. Clearly, money and stress do seem to go hand in hand for many couples.

3. Lack of communication

Communication is crucial in marriage and not being able to communicate effectively quickly leads to resentment and frustration for both, impacting all aspects of a marriage. On the other hand, good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. Yelling at your spouse, not talking enough throughout the day, making nasty comments to express yourself are all unhealthy methods of communication that need to be ditched in a marriage. Practicing mindful communication, to change age-old marriage mistakes, can be hard but it's well worth the effort to improve and save your relationship.

4. Constant arguing

From bickering about chores to arguing about the kids; incessant arguing kills many relationships. Couples who seem to keep having the same argument over again often do so because they feel they're not being heard or appreciated. Many find it hard to see the other person's point of view, which leads to a lot of arguments without ever coming to a resolution.

5. Weight gain

It may seem awfully superficial or unfair, but weight gain is a common reason for divorce. In some cases a significant amount of weight gain causes the other spouse to become less physically attracted while for others, weight gain takes a toll on their self-esteem, which trickles into issues with intimacy.

6. Unrealistic expectations

It's easy to go into a marriage with lofty expectations; expecting your spouse and the marriage to live up to your image of what they should be. These expectations can put a lot of strain on the other person, leaving you feeling let down and setting your spouse up for failure.

7. Lack of intimacy

Not feeling connected to your partner can quickly ruin a marriage because it leaves couples feeling as though they're living with a stranger or more like roommates than spouses. This can be from a lack of physical or emotional intimacy and isn't always about sex. If you are constantly giving your spouse the cold shoulder, then know that over time it can become the ground for divorce. Making your relationship intimate and special is the responsibility of both partners. Practice little acts of kindness, appreciation and enjoy physical intimacy as much as possible to sweeten your relationship.

8. Lack of equality

When one partner feels that they take on more responsibility in the marriage, it can alter their view of the other person and lead to resentment. Every couple must negotiate through their own and unique set of challenges, and find their own way of living together as two equals who enjoy a respectful, harmonious and joyful relationship.

9. Not being prepared for marriage

A surprising number of couples of all ages have blamed not being prepared for married life for the demise of their relationship. Divorce rates are highest among couples in their 20s. Almost half the divorces occur in the first 10 years of marriage; especially between the fourth and eighth anniversary.

10. Abuse

Physical or emotional abuse is a sad reality for some couples. It doesn't always stem from the abuser being a "bad" person; deep emotional issues are usually to blame. Regardless of the reason, no one should tolerate abuse and be removing yourself from the relationship safely is important.

No marriage is easy. Even couples with the best intentions are sometimes unable to overcome their challenges and end up in courtrooms. That's why it's important to address issues in your relationship early on. Don't wait until they are beyond fixing. Practice kindness, make intimacy a priority, go on holidays and seek marriage counseling (even when things are fine) to preserve the health and longevity of your relationship. Try your very best before you decide that things are beyond your control and it is time to give up. That way you can have the peace of knowing you tried all of the alternatives before the big step.

VERIFIED EXPERT

Shellie R Warren is an author, writer, marriage life coach and doula. Her passion is covenant and spends a lot of time devoted to that area. You can check out her blog for single women who desire marital covenant at www.OnFireFastMovement.blogspot.com

More by Shellie Warren
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10 Most Common Reasons for Divorce | Marriage.Com

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Marriage isn't always easy and the sad reality is that not all "I dos" end with a happily ever after no matter how much two people may love each other. It's estimated that 40 to 50 percent of all first marriages, and 60 percent of second marriages in the United States, end in divorce.