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Learn about the science and classroom applicability of these quick learning activities.

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Early in my teaching career, I was disturbed by a note left by the substitute teacher. She wrote that during the three days she was with my students, they were responsive during the first part of class, but that many of them became inattentive, distracted, and even disruptive after about 20 minutes of her instruction. When I asked the students what had happened, they were of one voice: "She didn't give us our brain breaks."

What Are Brain Breaks?

For students to learn at their highest potential, their brains need to send signals efficiently from the sensory receptors (what they hear, see, touch, read, imagine, and experience) to memory storage regions of the brain. The most detrimental disruptions to traffic along these information pathways are stress and overload.

Brain breaks are planned learning activity shifts that mobilize different networks of the brain. These shifts allow those regions that are blocked by stress or high-intensity work to revitalize. Brain breaks, by switching activity to different brain networks, allow the resting pathways to restore their calm focus and foster optimal mood, attention, and memory.

The Neuroscience of Brain Breaks

For new information to become memory, it must pass through an emotional filter called the amygdala and then reach the prefrontal cortex. When students' brains become anxious, highly confused, or overwhelmed, the activation of the amygdala surges until this filter becomes a stop sign. New learning no longer passes through to reach the prefrontal cortex and sustain memory. Even if students are not stressed by the pace or content of new learning, a point arises when the amygdala exceeds its capacity for efficient conduction of information through its networks into memory.

Brain breaks can be planned to restore the emotional state needed to return the amygdala from overdrive into the optimal state for successful information flow.

Brain Breaks Restore Brain Supplies

Neurotransmitters are brain chemicals that carry messages from one nerve cell to the next, across gaps between the cells called synapses. These message carriers are necessary to keep one's calm, focused attention and maintenance of a new memory. Neurotransmitters are in limited supply at each synapse and can deplete after as little as 10 minutes of continuing the same type of learning activity (attentive listening, practice drills, note-taking).

Brain breaks, by switching the type of mental activity, shift brain communication to networks with fresh supplies of neurotransmitters. This intermission allows the brain's chemicals to replenish within the resting network.

Timing

Brain breaks should take place before fatigue, boredom, distraction, and inattention set in. Depending on students' ages and focus development, brain break frequency will vary. As a general rule, concentrated study of 10 to 15 minutes for elementary school and 20 to 30 minutes for middle and high school students calls for a three- to five-minute break.

Brain Break Strategies

Brain breaks do not require disruption in the flow of learning. Simply stretching, moving to a different part of the room, or singing a song can revitalize the brain. Use your learning goals and students' responses to guide you in selecting the best type of brain break. You might decide to use the time to boost mood or motivation, as well as restore the brain's peak performance.

Mood

To restore the emotional state needed to bring the amygdala back from overdrive, help students build habits of emotional self-awareness and mindfulness. Prepare them for successful self-calming brain breaks by demonstrating and providing practice times as they build experience using mindful breathing or visualizations.

Read aloud from a relevant and engaging book.

Introduce physical activity such as jumping rope, singing a song with movements, or tossing a beach ball while students ask and answer questions to review the topic-these are all great dopamine boosters. They also increase the blood flow and oxygen supply to the brain.

Have students move in ways that they think a character in literature or person in history would at a designated event. Or move to imitate a biological, physical, or mathematical process.

Neuroscience has yielded information on activities that increase restorative neurotransmitters such as dopamine. Some of these activities, such as laughing, moving, listening to music, and interacting with peers, make great mood-boosting brain breaks:

Motivation

Tell a true anecdote about the author, historical persona, or scientist when they were the same age as your students. This will personalize the topic and boost interest and engagement.

Use dopamine boosts from personal connections and personal relevance by inviting students to share with partners something about how the learning relates to their lives or interests.

Especially when topics of study are necessary foundations but are not of high personal relevance to students, brain breaks can enhance their motivation to attend to a potentially tedious subject.

After just a few minutes, students' refreshed brains are ready to return to the next learning activity with a subdued amygdala and full supply of neurotransmitters. Both they and you will reap the benefits of this restoration.

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Using Brain Breaks to Restore Students' Focus

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Learn about the science and classroom applicability of these quick learning activities.

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Self criticism

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Alfred & Shadow - A Short Story about Self-Criticism

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https://www.responsiveclassroom.org/a-quiet-place-for-rough-moments/

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A quick, fun classroom activity fosters open dialogue while releasing pent-up energy.

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When my friend, Barbara, published "What's Under Your Cape" this year, I just knew I needed to get a copy right away. Barbara's blog, The Corner on Character, is one of the most up-lifting, encouraging, and inspiring reads there is. Through different groups and endeavours, Barbara has become a true friend and I am so honoured to be a part of this book study.

When the sign-up form went up for the book study, I was immediately drawn to Chapter 11 - S is for Self-Discipline. Home with my three little girls all summer, I think the phrases, "Please show a little more self control" and "Make a better choice" are uttered far too many times a day ... and in different variations ... and sometimes not as nice. ;)

At the beginning of the second chapter, Barbara links self-discipline to self-control, explaining that as teachers we need to give our students permission to try to new things, sometimes unsuccessfully, so they can learn and grow and become resilient. Self-discipline happens when "we turn over control and give our students leadership roles and opportunities along with voice and choice." Self-discipline is necessary to succeed. Period. This definitely applies to our children at school and at home, so it was quite validating to read that I'm on the right track.

I've been doing a lot of reading about growth mindset this summer, and this ties in so perfectly. We have to teach our students that they have choice - they can CHOOSE they way they think and respond to challenges in their life, and by doing so, they GROW while building self-discipline. Stronger actions, stronger reactions, stronger students. How empowering.

I saw this anchor chart from Fieldcrest Elementary School earlier this year and fell in love. I shared it at a PLC meeting, and everyone had the same reaction I did. This is EXACTLY how I want to empower my students. We need to teach our students to respond to challenges with this mindset. Barbara says, "Every time we rescue a child and let or her off the hook, so to speak, they've missed an opportunity for growth." We can't rescue them - we have to teach them to change their mindset. It's not easy, but it's worth it. And that's what self-discipline is all about - it may not be what we want to do at the moment, but it's what we have to do. "When students are challenged to be self-disciplined, they become problem solvers, decision makers, and critical thinkers."

Self-discipline teaches decision making. Barbara teaches this decision making through four steps: Stop, Look, Think, and Decide.

Stop for a minute and give yourself a little more thinking time

Look at all of your options

Think about possible consequences - good and bad

Decide with confidence

When our students are empowered to make their own decisions, they begin to fly. And then they can truly grow into the superheroes they were meant to be.

You can read more about Barbara's book HERE. It really is a must-have for every classroom teacher.

Click through the links below to read other reviews and summaries of this gem.

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What's Under Your Cape? A Book Study Blog-Hop

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When my friend, Barbara, published "What's Under Your Cape" this year, I just knew I needed to get a copy right away. Barbara's blog, The Corner on Character, is one of the most up-lifting, encouraging, and inspiring reads there is.

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😊 🌺 Breath Meditation for Kids 😊 ❤️‍ Mindfulness for Kids

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The Listening Game  | Cosmic Kids Zen Den - Mindfulness for kids

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3 Minutes Body Scan Meditation - Mindfulness For Kids And Adults

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Mindfulness meditation for kids - The gratitude tree

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Mindfulness meditation for kids - The gratitude tree

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New Horizon - Meditation & Sleep Stories

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Guided Meditation for Children | THE GRATITUDE TREE | Kids Meditation for Happiness

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Mindfulness meditation for kids - Breathing exercise

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Mindfulness meditation for kids - Breathing exercise

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New Horizon - Meditation & Sleep Stories

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Mindfulness Meditation for Kids | BREATHING EXERCISE | Guided Meditation for Children

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Teaching Mindfulness To Children At Home And In Schools

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Getting kids to talk about their emotions plays a huge part in helping them to process those emotions, get past them and move on with their lives. When you can combine that process with candy, well that just creates an all-around great situation. That why we were so excited to come across the M&M emotion game at Living a Rad Life.

In this game, you use snack sized bags of chocolate covered candy (M&M's) in order to get kids talking about their emotions. You and the child (or every child if you are working with a group) starts with one fun-sized bag of candy. On your turn, you pull one candy out of the bag and share an emotion/experience based on that color. Only after sharing do you actually get to eat the candy.

In this version of the game, you have to do one of the following depending on which candy you pull out of the bag:

Red: Share something the makes you Happy

Brown: Share something that makes you Sad

Green: Share something that makes you Angry

Yellow: Share something that makes you Excited

Blue: Share one poor choice you've made today and what you could have done different

Orange: Share one good choice you made today

And, the nice thing about this game is that you can change what needs to be shared depending on the circumstances. At the end of this article, I've share some templates we created using M&Ms and Skittles. Each template includes the sharing as described above as well as a "fill in the blank" template you can use however you need. Click on any of the images to link to a pdf file containing all four templates.
THE M&M FEELINGS GAME THE SKITTLES FEELINGS GAME THE M&M FEELINGS GAME - WITH BLANKS THE SKITTLES FEELINGS GAME - WITH BLANKS
For more awesome resources for learning about and dealing with emotions, please visit our Hope 4 Hurting Kids Emotions Help Center.
This article is updated and adapted from an article originally published on Divorce Ministry 4 Kids on November 18, 2014.

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Getting kids to talk about their emotions plays a huge part in helping them to process those emotions, get past them and move on with their lives. When you can combine that process with candy, well that just creates an all-around great situation.

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Role play scripts: Anger Management  and Conflict resolution

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Role play scripts: Anger Management  and Conflict resolution

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Role Play Scripts: Conflict Resolution & Anger Management

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Role play scripts are a great tool to use with social skills groups. I use these scripts to help students handle anger and difficult situations. These scripts contain scene, dialog, self-talk strategies, and assertive statements.

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Includes 18 situation cards to be used for a conflict resolution lesson. See mine lesson I use these with here: https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Conflict-Resolution-Powerpoint-Olive-Branch-2773244, or could be used with my Zax lesson.

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worksheets for teachers and worksheets for homeschoolers overall traits below or select from the following traits:

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Print these character role play cards on heavy paper and cut them out. Character Role Playing Cards

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worksheets for teachers and worksheets for homeschoolers see also social emotional worksheets: <a href=http://worksheetplace

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Social Skills Role Play Cards Worksheets

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Social skills cards encourage appropriate behaviour in a variety of situations. Social Skills Role Play Cards

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4 Social and Emotional skills you can practice with teens

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4 Social and Emotional skills you can practice with teens

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Whether you are a parent or work directly with teens, here you can read about some concrete social/emotional skills and useful activities that can help teens practice them. We will cover basic information about Listening skills, Assertiveness, Emotional awareness, and Nonverbal communication.
Why practice social/emotional skills?

Whether we call them soft skills, social/emotional skills, social/emotional intelligence or growth mindset, there is a consensus among researchers and practitioners that we need certain abilities to achieve our fullest potential at school, in our professional careers, and in our private lives. These abilities help us recognize and manage our emotions, cope with obstacles and life challenges, and enhance communication skills and good interpersonal relations (including empathy).

According to an analysis of longitudinal studies in nine OECD countries published in Skills for Social Progress: The Power of Social and Emotional Skills by OECD in 2015:

"Children's capacity to achieve goals, work effectively with others and manage emotions will be essential to meet the challenges of the 21st century."

Besides acknowledging the importance of social/emotional skills such as perseverance, sociability, and self-esteem, the report discusses how policy-makers, schools, and families facilitate the development of social/emotional skills through intervention programs, teaching, and parenting practices.

All these abilities are interrelated and their development starts at home and continues throughout the school years. If parents and important adults show a high level of social/emotional maturity, it will be easier for kids to acquire these abilities simply by modeling their behavior.

However, it is always useful when children and teens have a chance to practice social/emotional skills under the guidance of experienced adults. The best case scenario is when programs for enhancing social/emotional skills are an integral part of an educational system and a local community's initiatives.

Below, we will look at some important social/emotional skills and suggest simple activities for practicing them, adjusted to teens.

1. Social communication skill - Listening

Being able to hear what people are really saying is a valuable communication skill that has a major impact on the quality of our relations with others. You've probably already heard about Active Listening, a skill that allows us to hear not only the words people are saying but also the emotions they are reflecting through their nonverbal behavior. Both are important in understanding the whole message being communicated.

This is a complex skill that can be practiced. In the following activity, the focus is on practicing concentration; listening to the verbal message with undivided attention. You can practice this activity with a group of teens in your home, in the classroom or in a workshop.
Instruction
Firstly, ask all the participants to sit in a circle. The first person starts to tell a story (whatever he/she wants). After 3-5 sentences, say "stop" and randomly choose another participant to continue. This person now has to repeat the last sentence said and then continue making up the story. If he cannot correctly repeat the last sentence after five seconds, he is disqualified. The game continues with the same rules and the winner is the last person remaining after everybody else is disqualified.

This is the competitive version of the game. However, you can make up your own version, without disqualifications or adding new elements that you find useful.
Have a discussion
Ask participants to reflect on the game. When and how was their attention distracted? What helped them concentrate and remember the previous sentence?
Get more tips and tricks!
2. Social communication skill - Assertiveness
Assertiveness, as a style of communication, is characterized by the ability to directly and confidently express our genuine opinion, feelings, or attitudes, such that the rights of others and social circumstances are respected.
It is proven that assertiveness affects our self-esteem and self-confidence, so there's no doubt that practicing assertiveness is useful for teens. It is a complex skill that can be acquired through a training program led by a trained coach/therapist. However, some aspects of assertiveness can be practiced through simple exercises at home and in a school setting.

Maybe the most important point is to assure teens that it's okay to claim their rights and to ask, to initiate, to express their opinions and feelings. That it's okay to say NO to other people in a respectful way.

In this exercise, the focus will be on encouraging teens to initiate a conversation in which they will ask something of others and express their opinion or feelings. It can be practiced as social challenges given to teens either by their parents or teachers.
Instruction
Firstly, a list of social challenges is created, taking into consideration a teen's age or social needs. Challenges can be written down/printed on separate cards. If given consent to take part in the challenge, a teen takes a random card and his task is to do what is required on the card in the next 24 hours or over several days, as you jointly arrange.

Challenges can be practiced once a week or according to whatever schedule you agree upon.
Examples of social challenges:

Give an honest compliment to someone.

Learn two new things about somebody from your class.

Share with a friend what's been on your mind lately.

Call customer service at your favorite store and ask for information about some product you like.

Tell your best friend what you like about him/her.

Ask a teacher (or a coach) for clarification of a task you didn't understand completely.

Have a discussion
After the task is accomplished, it's important to discuss with the teen how the particular challenge made him feel. Did he find it easy, hard, awkward, or something else? What could be alternative ways to ask, to express? How did others react?
The inspiration for this activity is taken and adjusted from the Speech Bubble SLP.

3. Emotional skill - Emotional self-awareness

We have already written about self-awareness as the basic ability to understand our own inner processes and to relate adequately with others. Emotional awareness, in this context the ability to recognize our own feelings, is the foundation of emotional intelligence.

Besides helping us be aware of our emotions, these skills are important for developing emotional intelligence, according to Daniel Goleman and his bestselling book Emotional Intelligence. Understanding why we feel a certain way and knowing how to handle these feelings, including self-motivation; the ability to recognize the feelings of others (empathy) and to motivate them - these skills are crucial to success and happiness in every aspect of our lives and in our relationships with others.

In the following activity, the focus is on getting in touch with eight emotions a teen chooses, raising awareness of how a particular emotion manifests itself, and how it affects the teen's life. It is based on art therapy principles and is performed individually. However, it can be practiced in groups, too. You need a white paper and colored markers.
Instruction
Firstly, ask a teen to draw a circle and divide it into eight pies. Then, ask him/her to dedicate each pie to one emotion and fill in each pie with a corresponding color or images that match his/her idea of what the emotion means to him/her. It may be that a teen has a problem coming up with eight emotions. You can assist him but never choose instead of him. Don't push if he can't come up with eight. Work with whatever he manages to present.
Have a discussion
After the teen is done with the drawing, initiate a dialogue. You may find these questions useful: What does each image mean to you? What made you choose those particular colors? When in your life do you experience this emotion? What emotion is dominant for you nowadays? What emotion is the hardest to handle? And so on.

If a teen has a problem in coming up with emotions, you can use Plutchik's wheel of emotion to help him recognize emotions he would like to work on.

This exercise is taken and adjusted from the Art therapy directives BlogSpot.

4. Social/emotional skills - Understanding nonverbal communication

Good understanding of nonverbal communication is a sign of social and emotional intelligence.

The ability to observe and understand nonverbal signs during communication, or any other interaction between people, gives us tremendous information about the real message being communicated. It is especially important when we notice that the verbal message and nonverbal behavior are not harmonized. It also gives us a clue about the motives of the person we are communicating with or their emotional state.

Besides what is said, it is always important to follow HOW it is said. Basic nonverbal aspects of human behavior to be aware of include eye contact, the tone of voice, facial expression, gestures, personal distance, body language, and posture.

The following activity, based on acting and improvisation methodology, focuses on recognizing the emotional state of participants exposed to simulated social situations, through observing only their nonverbal behavior. A group is needed for this activity.
Instruction
Ask a volunteer from the group to leave the room. Separate instructions are given to him/her and to the group, who stays in the room in order to prepare for the final scene. While the volunteer is outside, each individual in the group has to choose one emotion and must express this emotion only through nonverbal behavior (acting). Remind them of the different aspects of nonverbal communication.

Meanwhile, the volunteer outside is given the task of coming up with several social situations familiar to teens such as: in class; during family dinner; on a date; at a birthday party; working on homework, etc.

Finally, when the volunteer is back to the room, he sets the scene: You're in class (for example). All members of the group act as if they are in the classroom, including expressing their chosen emotional state nonverbally. They can use their voice but only in the form of inarticulate sounds. The volunteer observes their behavior and tries to guess how they feel. If he is confused, he can put them in another social situation (or only for fun:). The game can be repeated several times with different volunteers, emotions to guess, and social situations.
Have a discussion
After it is revealed which emotion has been presented by each member of the group, a discussion follows. You may find these questions useful: What are the main nonverbal indicators of this emotion? How did you feel while acting? Did anybody have difficulties acting in the scenes (why)? What do you usually do when you feel (this particular emotion)? What do you usually do when you recognize somebody acting like this? Was there something confusing and what? - A question to the volunteer.

Depending on available time and the goal of your group work you can go even deeper into a conversation about particular emotions. If you are interested in activities useful for teen's emotional development, you may like this article.
Do you need more advice related to the social/emotional development of your teen? You've come to the right place!
Book your FREE CONSULTATION with one of our Coaches.
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Social and Emotional Activities For Teens

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Whether you are a parent or work directly with teens, here you can read about some concrete social/emotional skills and useful activities that can help teens practice them. We will cover basic information about Listening skills, Assertiveness, Emotional awareness, and Nonverbal communication.

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Mindfulness for Kids : What does being present mean?

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Mindfulness for kids - loving kindness practice

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Mindfulness for kids - loving kindness practice

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5 Minutes bodyscan Meditation for students :)

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5 Minutes bodyscan Meditation for students :)

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15/21 Days of Mindfulness Bootcamp - 5 Minutes Bodyscan Meditation for Families and classrooms

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Attention grabbers for classroom management

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Attention grabbers for classroom management

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Whether you're a new or experienced teacher, strategies for getting student attention are an important part of your classroom-management toolkit. In this presentation you'll find 25 tips for quieting a noisy class. You can view the presentation here:
25 Attention-Grabbing Tips for the Classroom
One important point is that what works for one teacher, might not work for another. It's important to find your own voice and discover what works for you. Be playful. Experiment. And then come back and share what you've learned. Let's keep the learning process going.

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25 Attention-Grabbing Tips for the Classroom

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Whether you're a new or experienced teacher, strategies for getting student attention are an important part of your classroom-management toolkit. In this presentation you'll find 25 tips for quieting a noisy class. You can view the presentation here: 25 Attention-Grabbing Tips for the Classroom One important point is that what works for one teacher, might not work for another.

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by Andrei Zakhareuski 44,461 views

Try these fresh classroom management tips and tricks with your class - they do work! Tell us about your experience with them in the comments, we would love to hear your thoughts!

Classroom Coupons

Why not create coupons to give as rewards for good behavior, special efforts, good work? Coupons could be for eating with the teacher, a night off from homework, having lunch with another class, moving one's desk to a preferred spot, etc. Coupons are a fun way to reward.

Compliment Box

Have a special box for just compliments. Encourage students to write a compliment when they catch a classmate doing something nice. At the end of each day, read each note aloud and then give the notes to each student who was complimented. This tactic can build up students' self-esteem. You might want to keep a list of those who receive notes in order to make sure that each student gets a note from time to time.

Payday

To make this technique work, you must have a pocket folder for each student. On the first day of a two-week period, students are given a set of homemade money, cut and stapled in a durable envelope with their names on the front. Students will, initially, write their names on the back of the money. Set up a system of values.
Students can lose money for the following reasons: Students can earn money for the following reasons:
Adjust rules as you wish. Have an end-of-the-period sale. Provide small items that the students can purchase such as stickers, books, pencils, etc., or even a no-homework night.

Reward at No Cost

If you do not want to always buy things as rewards, here are a few reward ideas that do not cost anything.

be first in line

draw on the board

use the computer

no-homework-night pass

go to the library

be the teacher helper

do work at the teacher's desk

move desk to another place

read to a younger class or student

have extra center time

operate the projector

go to another room for lunch

Zip the Lips

Make a large set of lips, complete with zipper. Cue in your students that when you make a zip motion over the lips, the meaning is the following: "Zip your lips." In other words, get quiet!

Fishing on Friday

Want to have good behavior during the week? One way to encourage following rules is to have a special surprise. Obtain two small fish bowls. Label the bowls, one bowl for the girls and one bowl for the boys. At the end of the week, have a drawing for both the boys and girls. Place the students' names in the appropriate bowl if a student was good for the week and followed all the rules. Have some type of special treat for the week's winner.

Smile Face Reminder

Sometimes it is hard to remember to smile. Make a large smiley face and suspend it from the ceiling. When you notice it, it will be a great reminder to stay positive.

Be Human

Students need to know that teachers are human, too. Everyone makes mistakes, even the teacher. Sometimes it is effective to deliberately make a mistake in order to let the students react and correct! When using this approach, be careful that you do not let students get away with being disrespectful. Students respect is a necessary component of good teaching.

Silent Signals and Signs

Silent signaling to your class is always a plus. To silently signal to students that they should stop talking, create a signal light. Put up the red signal when they are too noisy and need to be quiet. Put up the yellow signal when they can talk and share in low voices. Use the green signal for saying talking is all right, if money is no problem, purchase a small stoplight through a teacher supply company.

Other proven methods involve using hand signals. A thumbs up can mean "excellent" or "I'm proud of you." Work with your students to develop signs. This can be a fun way to talk about people who are deaf and how they communicate with each other.
This article comes from a great book called 'Year-Round Classroom Tips' published by Teacher Created Resources . Article displayed by kind permission of Teacher Created Resources

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9 Cool Classroom Management Tricks: Are You Using Them?

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by Andrei Zakhareuski 44,461 views Try these fresh classroom management tips and tricks with your class - they do work! Tell us about your experience with them in the comments, we would love to hear your thoughts! Why not create coupons to give as rewards for good behavior, special efforts, good work?

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" Calm down", " Just relax", "Cool it", "Chill out", " Take it easy". Throughout the years of working with parents and their children, I've heard all sorts of ways that parents attempt to help their children gain control of themselves. As children develop from infants, to toddlers, to preschoolers and on, they constantly improve their understanding of various emotional states. Early on, children have limited resources and knowledge of how to soothe themselves when upset or uncomfortable. When it comes to children gaining control over their emotions, parents and caregivers have complicated task. This task is two-fold. The first task (as mentioned in a previous blog about the consequences of coddling) is to give children the space to experience upsets and frustrations inherent in life. The second (and related) task is to provide the nurturing and support necessary for their children to effectively manage the day-to-day upsets and frustrations.

Below is a list of 10 "simple calm-down strategies" that can be used with children as young as toddler-age. However, before reading on, beware not to be fooled by the word "simple" in the title. The task of helping your little ones learn to calm themselves in the face of agitation is not simple at all. On the contrary, this task involves knowing your child and constantly attending to the evolving relationship between you and your child. It is important to note that the strategies listed below will not have the same impact on all children. Likewise, a strategy that works well for your child on one occasion may not work as well a different time. After reading the remainder of this blog, I encourage you to choose a few strategies that seem promising, try them with your son or daughter, and as always, please share your feedback below.

10 simple calm-down strategies for young children:

1. Color/draw: This can serve as both a distraction as well as a way to express one's self. With very young children you may just want to set them up with some paper and crayons. For children a little older, they can draw a picture of what made them upset, or a picture of a time when they were feeling calm and happy.

2. Music: Music can be used in many different ways. If your children are more active and need to get out some energy, maybe they can have a 3 minute dance party. Other ways to use this strategy include listening to a favorite song or playing calming instrumental music.

3. Drink water or have a snack: Being hungry or thirsty can certainly contribute to our emotional state (no matter how old you are!). Parents are advised to closely monitor the use of food as a way to soothe uncomfortable feelings as this should not become a primary tool for coping with stress.

4. Count to 10: or 50, or 100. Counting in itself can be calming because it focuses the mind on something else (which means that the mind isn't focused on the stress).

5. 5 deep breaths: (Diaphragmatic breathing or "belly breathing"): True relaxation breathing is a strategy that takes practice. To begin, have your little one take deep breaths so that their stomach is pushed out upon inhale and relaxes during exhale.

6. Bubbles: Closely tied to strategy number 5, blowing bubbles can help children feel calmer on a few different levels. First, for very young children, simply seeing and popping bubbles can be distracting enough from whatever originally triggered the upset. For children a bit older, blowing bubbles can encourage the deep breathing that will help bring about a sense of calmness.

7. Bear hugs: Your little ones can be encouraged to wrap their arms around their body and give themselves a hug. This can feel comforting for young children and it can also serve as a reminder to be kind to one's self, especially during times of stress.

8. Play with putty: Putty, sand, Play-Doh, or similar materials can also serve as effective calming tools. Young children should be supervised while using this strategy to ensure safe use of the materials.

9. Change the scene: During the throes of a tantrum (or even a less intense state of agitation), kids can become stuck. They can become stuck in negative thinking and stuck in maladaptive behaviors.

10. Take a break: We all need a break sometimes, and children are no different. If it's a particular task that became too frustrating (for example, a puzzle), encourage your child to walk away from it and return at a later time. If your child has been on-the-go all day, you can expect that his/her patience will run out faster than usual.

Last, but certainly not least, consider your own calm-down strategies. Your children learn so much from you simply by observing. Take some time for personal reflection, do you yell and bang on the steering wheel when you get stuck in traffic? Are you quick to raise your voice, or do you remain more even-tempered, despite experiencing agitation? As with all skills you teach your child, don't forget to model the behavior you wish to see in your little ones. If you have more ideas regarding calm-down tips for toddlers or young children, please share below!

NSPT offers services in Bucktown, Evanston, Highland Park, Lincolnwood, Glenview and Des Plaines. If you have questions or concerns about your child, we would love to help! Give us a call at (877) 486-4140 and speak to one of our Family Child Advocates today!

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10 Simple Calm Down Strategies for Young Children

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" Calm down", " Just relax", "Cool it", "Chill out", " Take it easy". Throughout the years of working with parents and their children, I've heard all sorts of ways that parents attempt to help their children gain control of themselves.

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Use this Method to Get Your Child to Listen and Behave

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Tips on successful classroom role-play

Introduction
Incorporating role-play into the classroom adds variety, a change of pace and opportunities for a lot of language production and also a lot of fun! It can be an integral part of the class and not a 'one-off' event. If the teacher believes that the activity will work and the necessary support is provided, it can be very successful. However, if the teacher isn't convinced about the validity of using role-play the activity "will fall flat on its face just as you expected it to" (Gillian Porter Ladousse 1987). Therefore, if you think positive and have a go, you may be pleasantly surprised!

What is role-play?
Role-play is any speaking activity when you either put yourself into somebody else's shoes, or when you stay in your own shoes but put yourself into an imaginary situation!

Imaginary people - The joy of role-play is that students can 'become' anyone they like for a short time! The President, the Queen, a millionaire, a pop star ........ the choice is endless! Students can also take on the opinions of someone else. 'For and Against' debates can be used and the class can be split into those who are expressing views in favour and those who are against the theme.

Imaginary situations - Functional language for a multitude of scenarios can be activated and practised through role-play. 'At the restaurant', 'Checking in at the airport', 'Looking for lost property' are all possible role-plays.

Why use role-play?
It is widely agreed that learning takes place when activities are engaging and memorable. Jeremy Harmer advocates the use of role-play for the following reasons:

Quieter students get the chance to express themselves in a more forthright way

The world of the classroom is broadened to include the outside world - thus offering a much wider range of language opportunities

In addition to these reasons, students who will at some point travel to an English-speaking country are given a chance to rehearse their English in a safe environment. Real situations can be created and students can benefit from the practice. Mistakes can be made with no drastic consequences.

Tips on successful classroom role-play
Prepare for success
Role-play is possible at elementary levels providing the students have been thoroughly prepared. Try to think through the language the students will need and make sure this language has been presented. Students may need the extra support of having the language on the board. I recently did a 'lost property office' role-play with elementary adults and we spent time beforehand drilling the structures the students would need to use. When the role-play began the students felt 'armed' with the appropriate language. At higher levels the students will not need so much support with the language but they will need time to 'get into' the role.

The role of the teacher
Some of the possible teacher roles are:

Facilitator - students may need new language to be 'fed' in by the teacher. If rehearsal time is appropriate the feeding in of new language should take place at this stage.

Spectator - The teacher watches the role-play and offers comments and advice at the end.

Participant - It is sometimes appropriate to get involved and take part in the role-play yourself.

Bring situations to life
Realia and props can really bring a role-play to life. A group of my young learners recently played the roles of pizza chef and customer. A simple cone of white card with CHEF written on it took a minute to make and I believe it made the whole process more fun and memorable for the class. As soon as it was placed on their heads they 'became' the pizza chef and acted accordingly.

Rearranging the furniture can also help. If you are imagining you are at the tourist information office or at the doctor's surgery try to make it as real as you can. Students can even leave the room and make an entrance by knocking on the door.

Keep it real and relevant
Try to keep the roles you ask students to play as real to life as possible. It may be hard for students who have little opportunity to travel to imagine they are in 'Ye Olde Tea Shop' in the heart of the English countryside. However, it may be within their schema to imagine they have been asked to help an English speaker who is visiting their own country. This may involve using some L1 to explain about the local culture or to translate local menus into English for the guest to their country.

Students working in the business world may find it easy to role-play a business meeting with colleagues visiting from abroad. If you are working with young children, try to exploit their natural ability to 'play'. They are used to acting out a visit to the shops or preparing food, as that is how they play with their friends.

Feed-in language
As students practise the role-play they might find that they are stuck for words and phrases. In the practice stage the teacher has a chance to 'feed-in' the appropriate language. This may need the teacher to act as a sort of 'walking dictionary', monitoring the class and offering assistance as and when necessary. If you are not happy doing this and you feel that the process of finding the new language should offer more student autonomy, you could have 'time-out' after the practice stage for students to use dictionaries to look up what they need.

As mentioned in the role of the teacher section, feeding-in the language students need is fundamental. By doing so, they will learn new vocabulary and structure in a natural and memorable environment. It is a chance to use real and natural language.

Error Correction
There are many ways to correct mistakes when using role-play. It is rarely appropriate for the teacher to jump in and correct every mistake. This could be incredibly demotivating! Some students do like to be corrected straight after a role-play activity, while the language is still fresh in their minds. Sentences with errors can be written on the board for the group to correct together.

Self-correction - If you have the equipment to record the role-plays either on audiocassette or on video, students can be given the opportunity to listen to the dialogue again and reflect on the language used. They may find it easy to spot their own mistakes.

Peer-correction - Fellow students may be able to correct some mistakes made by their peers. Students could be asked to listen out for both great bits of language they'd like to use themselves, and some mistakes they hear. Be careful to keep peer-correction a positive and profitable experience for all involved.

Making a note of common mistakes yourself and dealing with them in future classes ensures that the students don't lose motivation by being corrected on the spot or straight after the role-play. Negotiate with students and ask them how they would like to be corrected.

Use your imagination and have fun Bibliography
The most successful role-play I did last year was with a group of teenagers and was used as a spring board activity after listening to a song. The song was Avril Lavigne´s Skater Boy. The class worked in pairs to act out the scene of Skater Boy finally getting to meet his ex-girlfriend after the concert. The results were humorous and I was surprised that they all really got into the roles they played.

Role-play can be a lot of fun. If you still feel reluctant to use it in the class I suggest you begin to integrate it slowly. Why not extend an appropriate reading or a listening from a course book and turn it into a role-play? You may be pleasantly surprised by the results!

Role Play - Gillian Porte Ladousse (Oxford 1987)
The Practice of English Language Teaching - Jeremy Harmer (Longman 1989)

Joanna Budden, British Council, Spain

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Tips on successful classroom role-play Introduction Incorporating role-play into the classroom adds variety, a change of pace and opportunities for a lot of language production and also a lot of fun! It can be an integral part of the class and not a 'one-off' event.

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This is a strategy that is sometimes useful in dealing with problems that come up with friends and family, people who are likely to care about our feelings.
Introduction

Begin by writing "I-message" on the board. Explain that today the students will learn what an I-message is and how to construct one.

An I-message is a way to be strong without being mean (that is, assertive) when you are angry or upset or disappointed with something another person has done. The formula for an I-message is as follows:

I feel _________________________________ (say your feeling)

when you _____________________________ (describe the action)

because _______________________________ (say why the action connects to

The "I-message" is different from a "You-message." In a "You-message," you attack the other person, make judgments about him or her, sometimes even call the person names.

For example, say the class is picking partners for an activity. You pick John, who wants to work with his best friend instead of with you. He lets you know by pouting and mumbling, "aaw!" You say, "You want to work with him? Fine! You're too stupid to work with me, anyway!"

Ask the class: How do you think John might feel about being called stupid? Will he be more or less likely to choose you as a partner in the future?

In this situation, what would an "I-message" be? Elicit possible "I-messages" from the students. (For example: "I feel disappointed when you always want to work with your best friend because I never get to spend time with you.")

I-Messages can also be used to express positive feelings. (For example, "I'm excited that you are coming because we always have so much fun on your visits.") Encourage your students to share other examples.

What are your comments about I-messages and You-messages? Can you see using an I-message the next time you feel upset and think of calling somebody a name? Why? Why not?

Create the Routine

Once you have introduced the structure of an I-message, you can have children practice it before challenging times of the day, such as lunch, recess or gym. These are times of the day when strong emotions can take over and interfere with clear expression. Because our days are usually over-packed with teaching and learning, it is important to really plan this activity into your schedule. Allowing yourself and the students 5-10 minutes for this routine may prevent future problems that could take much more time to solve.

As you have the class line up for leaving the room, practice using I-messages. Create two lines with the children facing each other. Explain that all the children in one line will be Child A and all the children in the other line will be Child B. Ask them to pretend that Child A and Child B were playing at recess. Child A runs off without saying anything to Child B and begins to play with someone else. Then say, "Does everybody understand the situation? Okay. When I say 'Go,' everybody who is pretending to be Child B will use an I-message to say to Child A. When I say 'Freeze,' stop immediately and get quiet. No touching the other person." You may want to practice the freeze command with the children several times to show them that you expect them to stop immediately and get completely quiet.

Say, "Go!" Let the action run for a minute or so. Then stop the action. Ask, what happened in your pairs? How did Child B respond to Child A? After hearing from several pairs, remind them that the I-message is a tool that they can use to let others know how they are feeling without being mean.

Once your students become skillful with using I-Messages, you might explore with them what it means to "be strong," "be mean," or "give in." After briefly discussing what they know of these words, share with them these definitions:

Strong = being nice and respecting the other person while standing up firmly for yourself.

Mean = doing something to hurt another person (their body or their feelings) or using force or threats to make somebody do something they don't want to do.

Giving in = going along with what someone wants you to do even though you'd rather do something else.

Elicit examples of each of the behaviors for the children. You may also use the words assertive, aggressive, and submissive depending on age-appropriateness. Practice the assertiveness line with other situations that the students encounter daily. Encourage them to discover ways of being strong without being mean.

Continue the routine with situations that your class is currently struggling with. Here are some examples of times when it might be helpful to be "strong" or assertive:

A friend borrows your game and returns it to you with pieces missing.

You share something with a friend on the condition that the friend not tell anyone else. Soon everyone in your class knows about it.

You feel your parents blame you unfairly for things your brother does.

Amy Martin is a teacher in the New York City public schools.

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This is a strategy that is sometimes useful in dealing with problems that come up with friends and family, people who are likely to care about our feelings. Begin by writing "I-message" on the board. Explain that today the students will learn what an I-message is and how to construct one.

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This post contains affiliate links for your convenience. View disclosure policy HERE.
Tons of bucket filler activities and ideas for the classroom that promote kindness and happiness in kids: Anchor charts, bulletin boards and more!
Do you want to encourage your students to act with kindness and encouragement? Then you need to teach them to be bucket fillers! You can use the bucket filler books and fun activities to teach your students why they should always encourage others and treat others with respect.

Before you start those bucket filler activities in your classroom, you need to know what a bucket filler actually is and why it's so important. Understanding the importance of being a bucket filler will help you teach this important concept to your students.

What Is a Bucket Filler? - A bucket filler is someone who uses acts of kindness and love to make another person feel better. This could be anything! A bucket filler could say a kind word to someone who looks sad or they could help a friend in need. Being a bucket filler can be as simple as smiling at someone!

Why Is It Important? - It's important to be a bucket filler simply because it makes others feel good. People feel bad when their buckets are empty. However, a full bucket brings a lot of joy!

Bucket Filler Activities Using Books & Videos

Books and videos are perfect tools for teaching new ideas to students! Kids love a good story or video, so use this to your advantage. The following books and videos can help you show your students what it means to be a bucket filler, as well as how they can perform acts of kindness each day.

- This book will introduce the idea of being a bucket filler to your students. It will teach your students why it's so important to have a full bucket. Students will begin to recognize which acts fill a bucket and which ones empty a bucket.

Have You Filled a Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud - Here is a book you can use as a follow up to How Full Is Your Bucket? In it, students will learn how kindness and love can help fill up a friend's bucket. It encourages students to help fill a bucket every day.

Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson - You can use Each Kindness to help teach your students that a single act of kindness can change the world for someone. In this story, your students will get to see as the main character does NOT act kindly to a new student. She eventually learns that if she had only been kind, she could have made a new friend.

Kindness Counts by Bryan Smith - It isn't always easy to be kind. In this story, your students will learn that it's always best to show kindness to others even when it's hard.

Bucket Filling A to Z by Carol McCloud - Another great bucket filler book that is filled with a simple way to be a bucket filler for each letter of the alphabet.

Fill a Bucket by Carol McCloud - A sequel that furthers a child's understanding of what it means to be a bucket filler and how it can promote their own happiness.

Kindness is Cooler, Mrs. Ruler - This read-aloud video will help give your students practical ideas on how they can be a bucket filler. In this story, Mrs. Ruler teaches her students that kindness is pretty cool. The students then set a goal to perform 100 acts of kindness. Find the book here.

Color Your World with Kindness - This video gives your students a great visual for how even a small kindness can change the world. Your students will enjoy watching as each kindness brightens a life.

Kid President's 20 Things We Should Say More Often - There are many different ways to be kind to others. You can perform acts of kindness or say a kind word! In this video, kids will hear how their words can also be kind.

Kindness Books and Videos for the Classroom - Looking for more ideas? This blog post lists 15 books and videos you can use to teach kindness in your classroom.

Bucket Filler Activities and Classroom Ideas

You'll need plenty of fun lesson plans and visual aids in order to teach your students how to be bucket fillers. Here are a few ideas for lessons and anchor charts, writing activities, and bulletin board displays that will help your students become better bucket fillers.

Lessons & Activities

We Are Bucket Fillers! - This bulletin board and encouragement rewards combination is the perfect way to help children remember to be bucket fillers throughout the day.

How to Be a Bucket Filler - This post includes a freebie printable you can download, which will give your students the opportunity to write about how to be a bucket filler in a cute little booklet.

Random Acts of Kindness Lesson Plans - If you're looking for a great resource to teach kindness, head over to Random Acts of Kindness. You can create your free educator's profile and access all of the lesson plans on their site! Once you're logged in, you can see kindness lessons for each grade level, helping you find age-appropriate bucket filler activities for your students. Each grade level has 4 different units that teach kindness.

5 Activities to Learn About Kindness - These activities from Moments A Day will help you teach how to be a bucket filler in a fun way. Students will love these hands-on activities.

Anchor Charts

An anchor chart can help your students differentiate between things that fill a bucket and things that take away. These visual reminders serve as bright decor for your classroom walls as well as positive reminders for a child's minds. Display the anchor charts in your classroom so that students can quickly tell if they're being bucket fillers.

Bucket Filling/Dipping Sort - Create two columns in a pocket chart: On one column write "Bucket Fillers" and on the other column write "Bucket Dippers." Sort sentences about what a bucket filler and bucket dipper are. Kids can also contribute new ideas based on their own experiences.

Bucket Filler vs. Bucket Dipper Poster - Post a picture of two cute buckets, one labeled "Bucket Filler" and one labeled "Bucket Dipper" and using brightly colored paper and clear writing. Have kids describe the characteristics of each.

Rainbow Rays Anchor Chart - You'll love the simple yet creative "rainbow rays" that this teacher used in her anchor chart. Something so easy to add a fun element to the students' brainstorming task.

How Can I Fill a Bucket? - Encourage kids to write on sticky notes to decorate a bucket filling chart with their thoughts on the topic. This is a great way to encourage them to share and give input. This anchor chart was found on Pinterest (source unknown - If you know the source, please leave a comment here so I can give proper credit.).

Bulletin Board Displays

Don't forget to set up a display in your classroom so that students can celebrate their bucket-filling accomplishments. Each time students look at this display, they'll be reminded to be bucket fillers.

You can add the books you've read to your students to this bulletin board too! A "Bucket Fillers and Bucket Dippers" bulletin board will help your kids know the difference between the two types of actions and encourage them to practice being kind.

"You Filled My Bucket!" - With this display, even the youngest students can credit their classmates for kind acts that fill their bucket. They place a slip of paper into the bucket filler's bucket, thanking them, and providing an opportunity for later conversation about the act of kindness.

Classroom Management - The bucket filling concept can act as a powerful classroom management strategy. Create a positive and encouraging display that helps students remember to be kind. Kids are encouraged to add a pom pom for each kindness shown to them and someone else. They work together to "fill" buckets each day!

Library Pockets - Using library pockets to create individual "buckets" to encourage kindness is a great idea!

Hanging Buckets - You can even use actual buckets for a display! Look at how this teacher used buckets clipped onto a string, with children's photos. So cute!

Writing Activities

With a simple writing prompt, students get a chance to reflect on how they've been a bucket filler. You can help students brainstorm different ways they can be bucket fillers. Then give them the chance to write down or draw a picture of their acts of kindness.

Kindness Project - Start a lesson with a discussion about being a bucket filler and showing kindness. End it with students writing or drawing pages for a book to reflect on ways they can show kindness. Students will enjoy writing down what they've learned and you'll love seeing their responses! Urge them to act on their ideas in the near future.

Bucket Filler Friday - Every Friday, encourage students to fill a bucket with a kind note to their classmates with this idea from Miss 5th on Facebook.

Teaching Kindness in the Classroom

This kindness unit includes so many ideas for you to teach kids to be bucket fillers. It includes ideas for positive reinforcement, fun activities for the whole class, materials for creating a bucket filling display, as well as lessons you can use.

It's important to teach your students more than the basic subjects. You need to teach them about love and kindness, helping them become better people. Teaching them to be bucket fillers is a life lesson they will cherish forever.
Kindness Activities Kindness Books and Videos Teaching Respect
PIN

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Stellar Bucket Filler Activities to Encourage Kindness

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This post contains affiliate links for your convenience. View disclosure policy HERE . Tons of bucket filler activities and ideas for the classroom that promote kindness and happiness in kids: Anchor charts, bulletin boards and more! Do you want to encourage your students to act with kindness and encouragement?

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Emotions Curriculum: I borrowed the book, " Spotlight on Social Skills, Elementary, Emotions " (by Carolyn LoGiudice & Paul F. Johnson) from a counsellor at my school. This site allows you to read...

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It's easy to incorporate SEL into your day- some of these strategies ( Calm Breathing , Check-in , and Kind Words ) require no preparation. There are also many books that can be used as read...

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The idea for "Kind Words" evolved from a story I read many years ago called " All Good Things ", in a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book. In the 1960s, a teacher (Sister Helen Mrosla of Saint Mary's...

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Bucket Filling and Compliments take more planning and time investment, but both were really good activities that helped me to initiate a focus on increasing student behaviours that demonstrated kindness and compassion towards one another. These activities did not extend through the whole year, but much of the language and ideas did. One exception was for the "Compliments"; I wrote the names of each student in the class on these, handing them out randomly after lunch during silent reading, and the students would fill out the compliment card for the student whose name I had written on it. The compliment cards were also available for use during any free time students had, but I was structuring this part of it to ensure that each child got at least 5 compliments by the end of the week. At the end of the week (Fridays), I would go through the bucket and read out what was written on the cards and the children would then take them home. The students really got on board with this and were very excited for Fridays when I would read them aloud and they could take them home. Bucket Filling and Compliments could be especially powerful at the beginning of the year to set the tone for the learning community the teacher would like to create with the class. These activities can be adapted to use with other grades as the teacher sees fit. For example, for intermediate grades, "Bucket Filling" could be called "Pay it Forward" or "Random Acts of Kindness", and the activities that follow could be based on those themes. It is all about empathy and creating awareness of how our behaviours and choices impact others as well as ourselves- a worthwhile theme that is easily integrated into the classroom environment and learning.

I decided to start with a story, as I believed that would engage them and be a good way to introduce the ideas I wanted to familiarize them with. So, I read the class a book, "Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids" (McCloud, 2007), and we started on our path to "Bucket Filling".

After the story, we talked extensively about what 'bucket filling' and what 'bucket dipping' behaviours were, how we could fill someone's (and our own) bucket, and shared personal experiences of both. Bucket filling behaviours are those that make others (and ourselves) feel good/happy; bucket dipping behaviours are those that make others (and ourselves) feel bad/sad. The students had a lot to say about both experiences. They all had their buckets filled and dipped from, and had very distinct feelings about it. Then I showed the class some cards I had made: "You Filled My Bucket" and "Compliments" and a bucket I had decorated to look like the one in the book. I explained to them that we would be using these cards daily and gave examples of how to use them, and how not to. The aim was to make a positive statement about the person they were writing the card for, and that sometimes we would have to think deeply, but we can find something positive about everyone. I also encouraged them to try to make statements about the qualities of the person, not what they were wearing that day. These cards would be placed on a bookshelf in the class and could be taken and written on anytime students had some free time.

The students began using the language "so-and-so filled my bucket", and "I am sad because my bucket got dipped", and we continued discussing the feelings surrounding those experiences. We did a variety of bucket-filling activities: I dedicated one of the bulletin boards in the class to bucket-filling (it was entitled "We are Bucket Fillers", had a big bucket drawn onto it, and was covered with colouring pages the students had coloured of their own bucket, with a caption underneath stating what they felt was a good bucket filling action and they signed their names beside it); they worked on a cut and paste, cutting and pasting behaviours into "Bucket Filling" and "Bucket Dipping" columns; they wrote in their journals about a time they filled someone's bucket and how it made them feel, about a time their bucket had been filled by someone, about a time their bucket had been dipped, and about a time they dipped into someone's bucket and how it made both the other person and them feel. This evolved into discussions about friendship, how to be a good friend, what makes a good friend, and about the importance of being the kind of friend you would like to have. Students completed activities and role plays that reinforced what they were learning about how our words, actions, and behaviours affect how others feel, and how what we do impacts how we feel about ourselves as well. These activities set a tone for our classroom community; one that brought attention to looking for the best in everyone, the importance of self-awareness and awareness of others, and an understanding about how we all can impact the feelings of others (both positively and negatively), and that this also impacts how we feel about ourselves. These activities also introduced specific language (bucket filling, bucket dipping), tapped into the students reflections of their own bucket filling/dipping experiences, and brought an understanding to the statement I used frequently, "Treat others as you wish to be treated".

The Bucket Filling and Compliments gradually petered out a few months in, as I believed they had run their course and if I had persisted with them, they would have become less genuine. The bulletin board remained up, and the language was still used, but the daily writing of bucket filling and compliment cards was not happening, and in a sense may not have needed to anymore. " Kind Words " became the platform for our compliments.

I also made a bucket (in the image above; purchased at the dollar store) to look like the one in the book, and decorated with a few stickers- this is where we put our compliments and you filled my bucket cards once they were filled out. The picture on the Bucket Filling & Compliments page, is the actual bucket from my class. The bulletin board I put up also had a big bucket like the one from the story stapled to it; it was surrounded by the "I Am a Bucket Filler" colouring pages (free from the free resources on the website) that the students coloured. Underneath their pages, I wrote what they each told me was a bucket filling behaviour, and they signed their names. This remained on the wall all year.

I created a T-Chart, one side read, "Bucket Filling", the other, "Bucket Dipping". To go along with this, I created cards with behaviours on them for the kids to cut out and paste in the appropriate column.

T-Chart, Bucket Filling/Dipping Cards:

McCloud, Carol, and David Messing. Have You Filled a Bucket Today?: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids . Northville, MI: Ferne, 2007.

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Bucket Filling and Compliments take more planning and time investment, but both were really good activities that helped me to initiate a focus on increasing student behaviours that demonstrated kindness and compassion towards one another. These activities did not extend through the whole year, but much of the language and ideas did.

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Bucket Filling original book narrated :)

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Bucket Filling original book narrated :)

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Talking About Feelings

If you work with ESL students (English as a Second Language students), then one of your primary mandates is to help them communicate well in English. There are many different categories of words that can help with this, but learning to talk about feelings and emotions is perhaps one of the most significant things that children can master in order to make themselves known and understood. After all, when you can describe a feeling or understand what someone else is feeling, you can solicit and grant empathy, express your inner self, and deal better with challenges the world presents. This lesson reviews some good vocabulary words for feelings and emotions and then offers games and activities for teaching students these words.

Feelings Vocabulary

This section looks at specific vocabulary words that can help students talk about feelings and emotions. Let's look at the basic names of feelings first.

Now let's look at phrases involving talking and asking about feelings:

I feel / I am feeling...

It seems like you are feeling...

How do you feel about that?

That makes me feel...

I'm just a little...

I am very...

Now, finally, let's take a look at some adverbs used to augment feelings:

Activities for Feelings & Emotions

This section offers some activities and games that can help students put the above vocabulary lists to good use.

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esl feelings & emotions vocabulary: games & activities - video & lesson transcript | study.com

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ESL Feelings & Emotions Vocabulary: Games & Activities - Video & Lesson Transcript | Study.com

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If you work with ESL students (English as a Second Language students), then one of your primary mandates is to help them communicate well in English. There are many different categories of words that can help with this, but learning to talk about feelings and emotions is perhaps one of the most significant things that children can master in order to make themselves known and understood.

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Social & Emotional Learning (SEL)

Build social and emotional skills into any class.

Summit students rip up their stress.

Summit Preparatory Charter High School in Redwood City, California, uses a variety of activities in the weekly, 90-minute Habits, Community, and Culture (HCC) class, where students learn Habits of Success and develop social and emotional learning (SEL) skills. The school has developed an HCC curriculum for grades nine through 12 and hired two full-time teachers for HCC, but Summit's academic teachers also use some of these activities to build SEL skills and deepen their relationships with their students. Cady Ching, a biology and AP environmental science teacher at Summit, incorporates opening activities into all of her classes: "In my freshman classes, we do them every class period."

Visualization to release stress: Have your students imagine what stress looks and feels like inside their body, and then ask them to release it. "The mindfulness practice makes you think the stress is coming off your body," says Geoffrey, a 12th-grade student.

Noise isolation: There are a variety of sounds that your students hear when they're in your classroom, from students walking in the hallway to outdoor construction noise. Have your students focus on one noise and describe it to themselves and recall the last time they interacted with it.

Here are some of the opening, group sharing, and closing activities that teachers use at Summit:

Opening Activities

Summit students practice mindfulness.

2. Name the emotion you're bringing to class: Have each student call out the emotion they're feeling. This helps each student know how they and other students are feeling, what different emotions look like, and how to better interact with their peers based on how they're feeling.

3. Write down, rip up, and throw away your stress: Have your students write down their expectations and insecurities, rip them up, and throw them away. This emotional check-in takes about three minutes. By acknowledging how your students are feeling at the start of each class, you'll acknowledge their barriers to learning and create a safe space for your students to overcome them.

5. Quote of the day: Introduce a quote relevant to what your students are learning or to a shared experience-for example, an act of violence in the community. You can facilitate a whole-class discussion, group students into pairs, or have each student share a one-word response to the quote. This gives students the space to reflect on their beliefs and experiences and whether they agree or disagree with the quote and other students' opinions, and it gives them insight into their peers' perspectives and feelings.

6. Where we came from: Collect baby pictures from your students. Project one baby picture at the start of class, have your students guess who it is, and then have the featured student share something about their childhood.

7. Starting positive: Have each student tape a sheet of paper to their back and then walk around and write positive qualities about their peers on their backs.

8. Motivational moment: Have two students start the class with a three- to five-minute presentation-and come up with two or three discussion questions-based on their interests. The presentation must be related to the course content in a real-world context. "Many students include a video for visuals and increased engagement, but it's optional," says Ching. Have the rest of the class partner up to discuss their questions for one minute and then give them the opportunity to share out to the whole class. This exercise gives your students insight into their peers' interests.

Grades 9-12 | Redwood City, CA

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Data is from the 2014-2015 academic year.

Group Sharing

9. Circle sharing: To encourage active listening, create small groups. Have your students position their chairs in a circle so everyone can make eye contact. To strengthen empathy, you can facilitate deeper discussion around what a student shares by asking, "Why did that student share what they did?" or "What perspective is that student coming from?"

When discussing emotionally charged topics, it's important to have guidelines to foster a safe space. Summit uses the Courageous Conversation protocol created by Glenn E. Singleton when discussing race. The protocol is guided by four agreements-stay engaged, experience discomfort, speak your truth, and expect and accept nonclosure. Here is an example of elementary school discussion guidelines from School 21.

Summit students sit in a circle for a whole-class discussion.

10. Write a poem from someone else's perspective. Have your students choose someone they don't know. This helps them to understand that they don't "need to be best friends with someone to empathize with them," explains Ballard.

11. Have a conversation with someone you don't know. Have your students pair up with a student they don't know and provide the pairs with five questions to ask each other. Each student introduces their partner to the class, speaking as if they were their partner, while the rest of the class looks at the student being introduced. "We don't see people sometimes," says Ballard, "and this exercise helps students to see each other more deeply."

12. Play interest and identity-related bingo. Instead of squares filled with numbers or vocabulary words, create cards with information relating to your students. Summit's Bingo cards have things like "'I like to read' or 'I was born in a different country,'" says Armando, a ninth-grade student.

I would like to appreciate Brenda for facilitating the conversation in our small group.

I would like to thank everyone for taking this class seriously.

I apologize to everyone for having my headphones in for half of the time.

Closing Activity

13. Appreciation, apology, aha: Have your students get in a circle and share an appreciation, apology, or realization with the group. Students in Ballard's class have shared things like:

Encourage authentic and timely apologies. Apologizing for something that happened a long time ago has less impact than apologizing for something that happened that day or week. Let your students know that they don't have to name who they're apologizing to when they apologize for what they did.

Help students share helpful, not harmful words. "I often say, 'Appreciations, apologies, and ahas should be something that you genuinely think will be useful for people to hear,'" says Ballard.

Have your students snap, clap, or shake both hands when they hear something that resonates with them. "We snap to let people know that we hear them without exerting our own voice in their narrative," explains Ballard. Students shake their hands when peers share things that are emotionally charged. Ballard often gets this started by saying, "Let's shake it up for that."

"When you pay attention to each other, not only does it build a sense of community, but we're more able to understand other people," says Janet, a 12th-grade student. "If you're able to understand people at a younger age, you could work better with them as adults. That changes how the future generations will be. People can be more accepting, more helpful towards each other."

What makes this a SCHOOL THAT WORKS

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Build social and emotional skills into any class.

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Storytelling and Drama Activities: #1 WAKE UP

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By Dina Strasser
It can be mind-bending to allow yourself to believe that your students can solve most of their own problems - that math problem they don't get on the first (or second) pass, the missing homework, or the kid poking them in the back of the head with an eraser.

After all, we're the teachers. We're supposed to predict, contain, and control student behavior, correct?

This was the message of the training - such as it was - in classroom management that I received as a 20-something year old grad student in the early 2000's. Lay down the rules clearly, throw in some genuine caring - but you're the one in charge, and don't ever, ever, let them see you sweat.

It's about the whole kid.

What this approach really implies, however, is at best a two-dimensional understanding of teaching: that teachers are in the classroom to effectively deliver content, and along the way basically ensure that there is no need to call the fire department.

It's been one of the great pleasures and comforts of my professional life to watch the teaching profession's conception of student achievement expand to incorporate what seasoned teachers have understood all along. It's about the whole kid - the entire kit and caboodle of what they need to know to be happy, healthy, contributing members of society.

As a result, respectful, fruitful collaboration among students is not "nice" for your kids to master before they make their own way in the world - it is absolutely necessary. It's especially necessary when problems get in the way of our goals. You know, like life.

Collaborative classrooms, therefore, as my colleague Anne Vilen wrote in this practical ASCD Express article, are a bit like laboratories for our kids. They are safe spaces for students to be explicitly taught, to practice, and to master the communicative skills needed to problem-solve ( we call this "grappling" where I work): where students come up against an obstacle and must decide how to meet it, all while preserving their own health and that of their classroom community. It's a tall order. Fortunately, we have effective and sustainable teacher practices that foster these skills in kids.

1: Co-create norms.

Rules, constitutions, guidelines, expectations - the behaviors we wish students to exhibit in our classrooms go by many names. We call them norms. Schoolwide and classroom norms are the foundation for respectful behavior among students, between students and teachers, and among teachers. Norms provide students with a rationale for why boundaries exist, cutting down on the frequency of the ubiquitous "But why can't I ____?" question.

The norms tell them why not, and this appeals to students' sense of fairness and supports their self-discipline. The response doesn't need to come from the teacher: "Because I said so." Instead, students understand that the reason "why not" is based on a norm that they agreed to live by. Most problems in the classroom of a behavioral nature come about when a poorly understood (and perhaps undefined) norm of behavior is broken. When norms are explicit, alive, and communal, students have a firm foundation from which to start problem-solving together.

There's no one right way to go about co-creating norms with students, beyond making sure students believe they have ownership over what's decided. The key element is helping students identify and articulate how they want to treat each other and be treated by others, and for the teacher to distill the suggestions into a clear and effective list. Younger children can use picture cues or graphics; drawing an activity they like or dislike in school may be a concrete foundation from which to start.

Older students can be given sticky notes and asked to write anonymously for any part of this process. Notes can be placed on a larger piece of chart paper and grouped to find the patterns that will establish the consolidated norms. Here's a video showing you how co-created norms can live in a classroom.

2. Practice the grownup language of problem-solving.

Sentence starters aren't just for writing prompts. Students need to be explicitly taught what may be taken for granted among adults: the "magic words" needed to piggyback on an idea, disagree with an idea respectfully, or voice a personal opinion without shutting down others.

If you think creating a quick anchor chart and asking students to use it word for word is too easy to be effective, try it and watch how kids respond. Some examples:

This may take some modeling and orienting from you; kids' first attempts at using these starters can look an awful lot like them staring at you while you go crazy using all the verbal and nonverbal cues at your disposal to remind them to refer to the chart while they're talking.

Once they get the hang of it, though, you can step back and watch their skills bloom. Pretty soon they're saying "I see things differently" and "I wonder if..." to their friends in the lunchroom as well as the classroom.

3. Finally: When the going gets rough, think restoratively.

Traditionally, a classroom or school discipline plan focuses on individuals and consequences. A student who breaks a rule receives a consequence, which may or may not be relevant, respectful, or realistic. A restorative approach has a different aim: community and reparation. Through restorative questions, the student's actions are framed as choices that impact relationship.

As a result, instead of simply "being punished," the student is given a chance to explain him- or herself and consider the impact of his or her actions. The student is then held accountable by taking actions that repair the harm that he or she has done. These actions strengthen the learning community and lay the foundation for collaboration to begin or to expand.

The International Institute for Restorative Practices (2015) offers the following set of potential restorative questions to use to address challenging behavior:
What happened?
What were you thinking at the time?
Photos: EL Education Dina Strasser is a project manager for EL Education and the co-author of Management in the Active Classroom. Previously she taught English Language Arts and ESOL to public school students of all ages for 13 years. What have your thoughts been since?
Who has been affected by what you did?
In what way have they been affected?
What do you think you need to do to make things right?
Restorative questions can be used effectively as an intervention in the moment or as a more formal means of reflecting with the student (or students) involved in challenging behavior. Ideally, however, restorative questions evolve to serve as a framework for students to moderate their own discussions and conflicts before they ever get to you. Posting restorative questions in the classroom and referring to them frequently will support students to repair the harm - and collaboratively problem-solve - all on their own.

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Classroom Management 101: We Teach the Whole Kid

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By Dina Strasser It can be mind-bending to allow yourself to believe that your students can solve most of their own problems - that math problem they don't get on the first (or second) pass, the missing homework, or the kid poking them in the back of the head with an eraser.

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To illustrate the value of metacognition and how it actually plays a role in learning, we can consider an example from mathematics, where it has been shown that metacognition plays a central role in learning and achievement. Specifically, when novice students were compared to seasoned mathematicians, the students selected a seemingly useful strategy and continued to apply it without checking to see if the strategy of choice was actually working well. Thus, a significant amount of time was wasted in fruitless pursuits. The more experienced mathematicians on the other hand, exercised metacognition, monitoring their approach all along the way to see if it was actually leading to a solution or merely to a dead end.Being aware of how one is engaging with the process of learning influences how the student interprets the task at hand, and what strategies are selected and employed in service of achieving learning goals. It can help optimize the problem-solving experience at a very high level, and is thus applicable across a large range of contexts. These metacognitive strategies are powerful tools for any discipline, inter-discipline or for learning in general.

Of course, with such an abstract learning goal, it is important for educators to be precise with how they teach it. Traditional methods for improving students' learning strategies often focus on prescribed procedures (note-taking, self-testing, scheduling, etc.) and typically result in initial motivation and some short-term improvement, but ultimately a reversion to old habits happens. While these tactics may work in the short term (e.g., to cram for an exam), once the context changes, successful transfer of these methods is less likely to occur. More strategic methods that focus on metacognition for deeper learning- such as developing a growth mindset (discussed later), setting and monitoring one's learning goals, and growing one's capacity to persist despite difficulties-have been shown to result in more permanent learning gains.

It is important to note that since metacognition involves higher-level thinking overseeing lower-level thoughts, there is actually a range of mental processes that fall under its definition. Effects of metacognitive training vary based on what kind of lower-level thoughts are being overseen, and how they are being overseen. Research has identified three levels of reporting on metacognitive processes:

1. Verbalization of knowledge that is already in a verbal state (such as recalling what happened in a story).

2. Verbalization of nonverbal knowledge (such as recalling how one solved a Rubik's Cube).

3. Verbalization of explanations of verbal or nonverbal knowledge (such as explaining how one makes use of the rhetorical structures of a story as one reads).

Only this third level of metacognitive process has been linked to improved results in problem solving.

Metacognition can be developed in students in the context of their current goals and can enhance their learning of competenciesas well as transfer of learning, no matter their starting achievement level. In fact, it may be most useful for lower-achieving students, as the higher-achieving students are already employing strategies that have proven successful for them. For learning disabled and low - achieving students, metacognitive training has been shown to improve behavior more effectively than traditional attention-control training.

Students who have higher levels of self-efficacy (more confidence in their ability to achieve their goals) are more likely to engage in metacognition and, in turn, are more likely to perform at higher levels. This strongly indicates a positive feedback loop for high-achieving students-they are more successful by using metacognitive strategies, which increases their confidence and in turn leads them to continue to increase their performance. Metacognition is an integral part of this virtuous learning cycle, and one that is amenable to further improvement through instruction.

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The Role of Metacognition in Learning and Achievement

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To illustrate the value of metacognition and how it actually plays a role in learning, we can consider an example from mathematics, where it has been shown that metacognition plays a central role in learning and achievement.

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7 Classroom management techniques that really work

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7 Classroom management techniques that really work

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When you watch a teacher with great classroom management techniques, it can feel like magic. The truth is that classroom management can be learned. Reading about classroom management, asking other teachers what they do, and even talking with your principal about what they have observed can help. Here are seven things to consider in your quest for classroom management excellence.

This is hands down the most effective classroom management technique. When a student trusts their teacher, they make more of an effort to follow the rules. When teachers make an effort to get to know each student on a more personal basis, they get more out of their teaching experience as well. Each class should feel more like a family. If you don't know how to pronounce each child's name correctly, use sarcasm regularly, and make students feel dumb for asking questions, you need to change those behaviors first.

See more tips for building student relationships here.

2. Make positive phone calls home.

Another important classroom management technique is the positive phone call home. It's very easy to get into the habit of calling home only when there is an issue to report. While these calls are necessary and worthwhile, calls home for celebration are equally, if not more, important. Every parent wants to hear positive news about their child, and this reinforcement almost always makes its way back to the student. Try to make one positive call to a different student's home every single day, even if it's simply to report on a nice comment a kid made in class. This means so much to parents and students and usually translates to positive classroom behavior as well.

Still not convinced? See seven reasons why positive parent calls work so well.

3. Celebrate hard work.

Show students that you value the work they put into learning. Identify milestones in the work everyone is accomplishing each day. Once a week, choose one particularly hardworking team or student to share their story. Let the class ask them how they accomplished the work. What a valuable lesson kids learn when they hear peers talking about what hard work means to them. Kids who know their work will be celebrated instead of just their grades will pay more attention and stay focused.

4. Maintain authority all year long.

You meant it when you started the year, but it's easy to relax a bit as the year moves along. When you tell kids to stop talking and get back to work but you don't follow through, you tell them it doesn't matter that much. This can lead to teachers raising their voices and saying things they regret. You don't have to be mean, you just have to mean it. So make a list of rules that are effective and really matter to you and then share them with your students. Post them visibly and refer to them often.

5. Make sure that students know what your rules mean.

Just because you've stated them, shared them, and posted them, doesn't mean students know what they mean. Your version of no talking might be different from theirs. Human beings talk for lots of reasons, so keep your expectations appropriate. It might even be okay to joke around a bit as long as a student is staying focused on the task at hand. Some teachers find great success with acting out ways of talking that are effective.

6. Accommodate all learners.

Make sure every one of your students is able to learn the way you plan to teach. This means reviewing IEP and 504 plans and taking notes on the recommendations so you can take them into account. Share your fears and concerns with the special ed team. So many classroom management challenges can be averted by considering and planning for the needs in your classroom. Make it a point to share the individual accommodation with each student affected so they know there's a plan too. Understanding procedures and consequences may be just what a child with a behavior problem needs in order to feel more in control of their impulses. Remember to design lessons that challenge everyone in the way they need to be challenged.

7. Be prepared.

Even if you aren't required to submit lesson plans, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do them. There's a lot to manage throughout the day, and not knowing what you are supposed to be teaching can easily destroy a good day. Develop plans that work for your teaching style, accommodate all learners, go along with curriculum standards, and pique the curiosity of your students. It may sound daunting, but the more you do it, the better you'll get. A well-planned day can make the difference between tired and flat-out exhausted.

In order to really manage your classroom well, you need to be able to sell your classroom. You aren't just a teacher, you're a performer and a marketer. When kids feel your passion and know where the learning is headed, they'll be pumped to rise to the occasion. Each year can be the year that the students in your class never forget.
We'd love to hear-what are your favorite classroom management techniques? Come share in our WeAreTeachers HELPLINE group on Facebook. Plus, classroom management techniques we learned from Mary Poppins.

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7 Classroom Management Techniques That Really Work

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When you watch a teacher with great classroom management techniques, it can feel like magic. The truth is that classroom management can be learned. Reading about classroom management, asking other teachers what they do, and even talking with your principal about what they have observed can help.

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Kindergarten can be an exciting time for both parents and children. The transition to full-day school brings new skills, new friends, and new opportunities and experiences, but while some kids make the transition with ease, others really struggle with the adjustment.

And who can blame them?!

While daycare and preschool offer a quiet, calming, play-based environment with small teacher/child ratios, kindergarten classrooms are loud and chaotic. The school day is filled with multiple transitions, and while the curriculum is still fun, the educational component can be challenging for little minds and hands, which brings me to the point of this post...

How to Teach Children Self-Control

Teaching children self-control is one of the most important things a parent can do for their kids. Some studies suggest that a child's level of self-discipline at a young age can predict how successful - and happy - he will be later in life, and while some might argue against such findings, the facts remain the same: if you take the time to teach your child strategies for self-control now, you will be setting him up for long-term success at school, work, in his personal life, and beyond.

From managing impulsive behavior, resisting distractions, and learning the art of delayed gratification, to regulating emotions in the face of conflict and feelings of discomfort, self-regulatory behavior is key to success in all areas of our lives, and since children with poor self-control tend to exhibit more behavioral problems than their self-disciplined peers, teaching children self-control is more important than parents might think.

So, how exactly do we, as parents, do this? How do we teach our kids the art of self-discipline and self-regulation without spending all of our free time battling meltdowns, temper tantrums, aggressive behavior, and feelings of defeat? Because, let's face it: it's sometimes easier to give kids what they want rather than subjecting ourselves to a day filled with power struggles and time-outs. Amiright?

The good news is that learning how to teach children self-control isn't as difficult as it sounds. Yes, it takes time, patience, and dedication on the part of the parents and caregivers, and there will be days that your child may not comply with your wishes, but the long-term benefit of working with your child to help develop his self-regulating behavior far outweighs the short-term pain.

Here are 7+ strategies and activities to teach children self-control.

Be clear about rules and expectations

This is especially important in young children. By explaining what the rules are, what's expected, and what is and isn't appropriate, and taking the time to give your child regular reminders, you are setting him up for success. The easier the rules are, and the more consistently you reinforce them, the easier it is for your kids to meet your expectations.

Follow a predictable routine

We all know that kids thrive on consistency, and getting your children used to a predictable routine will not only help with the transition to full-day school, but also help set expectations as to what is expected throughout the day. By setting clear boundaries around different activities - learning, independent play, outdoor time, quiet time, eating, etc. - you can help teach the different types of self-regulation needed in the classroom and beyond.

Remind! Remind! Remind!

The younger a child is, the more easily he can (and will) be distracted, so taking the time to give him reminders at regular intervals will go a long way in helping him learn the art of self-control.

Use positive reinforcement

Reinforcement is a fabulous technique parents and caregivers can use to increase the likelihood that a child will repeat a desirable behavior, and while both positive and negative forms of reinforcement can help with teaching children self-control, research tends to suggest that positive reinforcement is the most effective. Sticker charts are a simple, yet effective, form of positive reinforcement that can be extremely motivating for kids. This Dry Erase Reward Chore Chart is my favorite as you can easily customize it for your individual child.

Always follow through!

As parents, we often hear about the importance of being consistent and following through with consequences. If you fail to follow through, your child won't take you seriously, learn accountability, or figure out the difference between right and wrong. And while this makes perfect sense, what many parents forget is that the same holds true for rewards. If we neglect to make good on our promises, we take away the motivation our children need to make positive changes to their behavior, which can significantly impact our ability to teach our children self-control and self-discipline.

Model positive behavior

Another important, yet often overlooked parenting strategy is the importance of being a good role model. Our children look up to us, and oftentimes want to mimic every single thing we do, and when we take the time to actively demonstrate our own self-regulatory behavior, we are setting our kids up for success. Thinking before acting, practicing deep breathing, being kind and compassionate to others, and using appropriate language to express our feelings are all positive ways to teach your child self-regulating behaviors to help develop self-control.

Make self-discipline fun

When it comes to teaching self-control, there is no 'one-size-fits-all' approach. Every child has a different temperament, and what works for one may not work for another. The good news? There are HEAPS of great self-discipline activities for kids that feel more like play than work, offering a fabulous, stress-free way to help children with self-control issues.

Here are 30 of our favorite self-control activities and resources for kids and parents!

1. Blow bubbles. It's no secret that taking deep breaths can help restore a sense of calm when big emotions hit, and a great way to teach this concept is to have children blow bubbles when they're feeling anxious. Start by giving each child their own bottle of mini bubbles to practice, and once they've mastered the concept, have them practice blowing bubbles without the wand. This will give them an effective coping strategy they can use when big emotions threaten to take over during the school day (and beyond)!

2. The marshmallow test. Stock up on some yummy marshmallows and give this activity by Teaching in Blue Jeans a try. It's a great way to teach the art of delayed gratification, and it's delicious to boot!

3. Watch Sesame Street. If your child loves Sesame Street, this clip with Cookie Monster will get her laughing while also showing the importance of resisting temptation and being patient.

4. Calm Down Jars. Learn how to make calm down jars using nothing other than glue, water, and glitter, why they are effective, along with 17 DIY recipes you can make at home with your kids HERE.

5. Red Light, Green Light. You probably remember playing this as a kid, and it's a fun game to help kids work on self-control. Each time you yell 'green light', your kids can get up, dance, and act silly, but as soon as you yell 'red light', they must stand perfectly still. It's heaps of fun!

6. Self-Control Task Cards. This set on Teachers Pay Teachers contain 60 task cards to talk about self-control and promote deeper and more critical thinking.

7. Simon Says. Kids love this game, and you can make it extra motivating by giving each of your children a turn to be 'Simon' as a reward for good behavior, helping around the house, completing homework, etc.

8. Feelings Parking Lot. Grab a poster board, some toy cars, and a sharpie, and give this activity by Therapeutic Interventions a try!

9. Chi Flow & Phreeze Yoga Game Card Deck. Yoga is a great way to help kids calm down and refocus when their emotions start to get away from them, and Chi Flow & Phreeze Yoga Game combines yoga and Twister to do exactly that!

10. Don't Take the Bait Game. Perfect for kids in third or fourth grade, this game on Teachers Pay Teachers is designed to help kids identify strategies to use in the face of triggers that impact their ability to stay in control of their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.

11. Musical Chairs. Another great activity to teach self-control is musical chairs. Make a circle of chairs in the center of the room, ensuring there is one less chair than there are kids participating in the game, and then switch on some fun music. The idea is for the kids to run in circles around the chairs while the music is playing, and once the music stops they must quickly find a chair to sit on. The person left standing is out of the game, and another chair is taken away until there is only one chair (and one winner) left.

12. Emotions Match Up Uno. Teachers Pay Teachers has a great game that is similar to the classic card game Uno, which is designed to target both social skills and emotional regulation. You can check it out HERE.

13. My Mouth is a Volcano. Teachers Pay Teachers also offers a great add-on to Julia Cook's book, My Mouth is a Volcano, which includes an eruption checklist, eruption cards, and a self-control writing activity. You can learn more HERE.

14. Don't Bite. Similar to the Marshmallow Game, this one involves sticks of gum and is a bit harder from a self-control point of view. The idea is to place the stick of gum onto the child's tongue, and then see how long they can go without chewing it.

15. Organize a 'Feelings and Emotions' Scavenger Hunt. Mosswood Connections put this idea together, and I think it's a great way to help kids understand their emotions while also practicing important social skills.

16. Turn Taking Games. Kids love to play games, and getting them involved in ones that require them to wait until it's their turn can be a great way to teach self-control. Some of our family favorites include Pop the Pig, Toilet Trouble, Don't Wake Hank, and Lil' Lemonade Stand-Off.

17. Create a Reward System. Sticker charts are a simple, yet effective, form of positive reinforcement that can be extremely motivating for kids, and I love this Magnetic Reward and Responsibility Chart as you can easily customize it for your individual child. It's important to note that teachers aren't always fond of using this technique in the classroom as it involves rewarding students for doing what is expected, but it's a great tool to use at home!

18. Create a Calm Down Box. Another way to teach children self-control is to ensure they have tools readily available when big emotions strike. Fidget toys, squeeze balls, and chewing gum are all great classroom-appropriate ideas that can help reduce feelings of anxiety and restore a sense of calm.

19. Hide and Seek. Yes. A good 'ole fashioned game of hide and seek in your backyard or at your local park can teach kids self-control. Staying completely silent while hiding isn't easy, and maintaining your composure when you're 'IT' and can't find anyone can be pretty challenging as well.

20. Hot Potato. We used an actual potato to play this game when I was a kid (I'm old), but I recently found a Hot Potato Game on Amazon, complete with silly sounds!!!

21. Zones Bingo. If you're familiar with the Zones of Regulation program, you'll love this Bingo game by lunchbuddiesplus!

22. Don't Laugh. A friend of mine does this ALL THE TIME with her daughter, and it's a real hoot. They take turns trying to make the other person laugh. They aren't allowed to touch each other and must maintain eye contact, and it is HILARIOUS to watch both of them in action.

23. Twister. Twister is a great game to help develop a child's gross motor skills and work cooperatively with his or her peers, and it also offers a way to teach self-control. Don't own the game? You can buy the classic Twister set here.

24. Self-Control Circles. If you're in search of some calming, zen-like activities to teach your kids how to distinguish between the things they can and cannot control, this self-control circle craft on Teachers Pay Teachers is fr you!

, and 25. Read. There are lots of great children's books that are fun to read AND touch on the topic of self-control. Our favorites are No, David!, My Mouth is a Volcano, I Just Want to Do It My Way! I Can't Believe You Said That!.

26. Playdough. Engaging in a good sensory activity with your child can help calm even the biggest emotions, while also offering an opportunity to talk with your child, get a sense for his or her feelings, and brainstorm better behaviors to use in the future. I've always found playing with playdough to be relaxing, but coloring is pretty high on my list as well!

27. Guided Meditation. There are so many great (and free) guided meditation clips available on YouTube. Here's one of my favorites!

28. Control-O-Meter. Originally designed to help kids with autism gain better control of the loudness of their voices, this Control-O-Meter by Autism Teaching Strategies can be used to help with various behavioral and self-control challenges.

29. Self-Control Bubbles. Love, Laughter, and Learning in Prep has a great self-control game that uses nothing more than a bottle of bubbles. Check it out HERE!

30. Jenga. Ah, I love Jenga! It requires great skill to remove and place blocks on the top of a tower, but what few people realize is that it also takes a lot of self-control for impulsive children not to knock the tower down while playing!

Learning how to teach children self-control before they enter school - and continuing to do so as they learn and grow - can have a huge impact in helping them develop the self-discipline and self-regulatory behavior strategies they need to cope and learn in the classroom (and beyond). The more you focus on helping your child learn the art of self-control, the more you are setting him up for long-term success with his eduction, career, and personal relationships. It may seem daunting at first, but using positive reinforcement, following through with rewards and consequences, modelling good self-regulatory behavior, and getting your children excited about some of the self-control activities for kids noted above will give you the foundation you need to give your little ones a good head start.
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How to Teach Children Self-Control: 7+ Self-Discipline Strategies for Kids

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Kindergarten can be an exciting time for both parents and children. The transition to full-day school brings new skills, new friends, and new opportunities and experiences, but while some kids make the transition with ease, others really struggle with the adjustment. And who can blame them?!

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First: Where, how and how much kids are allowed to play has changed. Second, their access to technology and social media has exploded.

Finally, Lewis suggests, children today are too "unemployed." She doesn't simply mean the occasional summer job for a high school teen. The term is a big tent, and she uses it to include household jobs that can help even toddlers build confidence and a sense of community.

"They're not asked to do anything to contribute to a neighborhood or family or community," Lewis tells NPR in a recent interview. "And that really erodes their sense of self-worth - just as it would with an adult being unemployed."

Below is more of that interview, edited for length and clarity.
What sorts of tasks are children and parents prioritizing instead of household responsibilities?
To be straight-A students and athletic superstars, gifted musicians and artists - which are all wonderful goals, but they are long-term and pretty narcissistic. They don't have that sense of contribution and belonging in a family the way that a simple household chore does, like helping a parent prepare a meal. Anyone who loves to cook knows it's so satisfying to feed someone you love and to see that gratitude and enjoyment on their faces. And kids today are robbed of that.

It's part of the work of the family. We all do it, and when it's more of a social compact than an adult in charge of doling out a reward, that's much more powerful. They can see that everyone around them is doing jobs. So it seems only fair that they should also.

Kids are so driven by what's fair and what's unfair. And that's why the more power you give kids, the more control you give them, the more they will step up.
You also argue that play has changed dramatically. How so?
Two or three decades ago, children were roaming neighborhoods in mixed-age groups, playing pretty unsupervised or lightly supervised. They were able to resolve disputes, which they had a strong motivation to because they wanted to keep playing. They also planned their time and managed their games. They had a lot of autonomy, which also feeds self-esteem and mental health.

Nowadays, kids, including my own, are in child care pretty much from morning until they fall into bed - or they're under the supervision of their parents. So they aren't taking small risks. They aren't managing their time. They aren't making decisions and resolving disputes with their playmates the way that kids were 20 or 30 years ago. And those are really important social and emotional skills for kids to learn, and play is how all young mammals learn them.
While we're on the subject of play and the importance of letting kids take risks, even physical risks, you mention a remarkable study out of New Zealand - about phobias. Can you tell us about it?
This study dates back to when psychologists believed that if you had a phobia as an adult, you must have had some traumatic experience as a child. So they started looking at people who had phobias and what their childhood experiences were like. In fact, they found the opposite relationship.

People who had a fall from heights were less likely to have an adult phobia of heights. People who had an early experience with near-drowning had zero correlation with a phobia of water, and children who were separated from their parents briefly at an early age actually had less separation anxiety later in life.

We need to help kids to develop tolerance against anxiety, and the best way to do that, this research suggests, is to take small risks - to have falls and scrapes and tumbles and discover that they're capable and that they can survive being hurt. Let them play with sticks or fall off a tree. And yeah, maybe they break their arm, but that's how they learn how high they can climb.
You say in the book that "we face a crisis of self-regulation." What does that look like at home and in the classroom?
It's the behavior in our homes that keeps us from getting out the door in the morning and keeps us from getting our kids to sleep at night.

In schools, it's kids jumping out of seats because they can't control their behavior or their impulses, getting into shoving matches on the playground, being frozen during tests because they have such high rates of anxiety.

Really, I lump under this umbrella of self-regulation the increase in anxiety, depression, ADHD, substance addiction and all of these really big challenges that are ways kids are trying to manage their thoughts, behavior and emotions because they don't have the other skills to do it in healthy ways.
You write a lot about the importance of giving kids a sense of control. My 6-year-old resists our morning schedule, from waking up to putting on his shoes. Where is the middle ground between giving him control over his choices and making sure he's ready when it's time to go?
It's a really tough balance. We start off, when our kids are babies, being in charge of everything. And our goal by the time they're 18 is to be in charge of nothing - to work ourselves out of the job of being that controlling parent. So we have to constantly be widening the circle of things that they're in charge of, and shrinking our own responsibility.

It's a bit of a dance for a 6-year-old, really. They love power. So give him as much power as you can stand and really try to save your direction for the things that you don't think he can do.

He knows how to put on his shoes. So if you walk out the door, he will put on his shoes and follow you. It may not feel like it, but eventually he will. And if you spend five or 10 minutes outside that door waiting for him - not threatening or nagging - he'll be more likely to do it quickly. It's one of these things that takes a leap of faith, but it really works.

Kids also love to be part of that discussion of, what does the morning look like. Does he want to draw a visual calendar of the things that he wants to get done in the morning? Does he want to set times, or, if he's done by a certain time, does he get to do something fun before you leave the house? All those things that are his ideas will pull him into the routine and make him more willing to cooperate.
Whether you're trying to get your child to dress, do homework or practice piano, it's tempting to use rewards that we know our kids love, especially sweets and screen time. You argue in the book: Be careful. Why?
Yes. The research on rewards is pretty powerful, and it suggests that the more we reward behavior, the less desirable that behavior becomes to children and adults alike. If the child is coming up with, "Oh, I'd really like to do this," and it stems from his intrinsic interests and he's more in charge of it, then it becomes less of a bribe and more of a way that he's structuring his own morning.

The adult doling out rewards is really counterproductive in the long term - even though they may seem to work in the short term. The way parents or teachers discover this is that they stop working. At some point, the kid says, "I don't really care about your reward. I'm going to do what I want." And then we have no tools. Instead, we use strategies that are built on mutual respect and a mutual desire to get through the day smoothly.
You offer pretty simple guidance for parents when they're confronted with misbehavior and feel they need to dole out consequences. You call them the four R's. Can you walk me through them?
The four R's will keep a consequence from becoming a punishment. So it's important to avoid power struggles and to win the kid's cooperation. They are: Any consequence should be revealed in advance, respectful, related to the decision the child made, and reasonable in scope.

Generally, by the time they're 6 or 7 years old, kids know the rules of society and politeness, and we don't need to give them a lecture in that moment of misbehavior to drill it into their heads. In fact, acting in that moment can sometimes be counterproductive if they are amped up, their amygdala's activated, they're in a tantrum or exploited state, and they can't really learn very well because they can't access the problem-solving part of their brain, the prefrontal cortex, where they're really making decisions and thinking rationally. So every misbehavior doesn't need an immediate consequence.
You even tell parents, in the heat of the moment, it's OK to just mumble and walk away. What do you mean?
That's when you are looking at your child, they are not doing what you want, and you cannot think of what to do. Instead of jumping in with a bribe or a punishment or yelling, you give yourself some space. Pretend you had something on the stove you need to grab or that you hear something ringing in the other room and walk away. That gives you just a little space to gather your thoughts and maybe calm down a little bit so you can respond to their behavior from the best place in you - from your best intentions as a parent.
I can imagine skeptics out there, who say, "But kids need to figure out how to live in a world that really doesn't care what they want. You're pampering them!" In fact, you admit your own mother sometimes feels this way. What do you say to that?
I would never tell someone who's using a discipline strategy that they feel really works that they're wrong. What I say to my mom is, "The tools and strategies that you used and our grandparents used weren't wrong, they just don't work with modern kids." Ultimately, we want to instill self-discipline in our children, which will never happen if we're always controlling them.

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Why Children Aren't Behaving, And What You Can Do About It

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First: Where, how and how much kids are allowed to play has changed. Second, their access to technology and social media has exploded. Finally, Lewis suggests, children today are too "unemployed." She doesn't simply mean the occasional summer job for a high school teen.

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Three tools for Teaching Critical Thinking and Problem Solving

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Three tools for Teaching Critical Thinking and Problem Solving

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Teaching Emotional intelligence to students

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Teaching Emotional intelligence to students

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Last Updated on

Emotional Intelligence is highly important in a teen's development. There is considerable evidence pointing to its positive role in helping students deal with stress, develop relationships, and handle the transitions facing them.

Whether you're a teacher, parent, or a student yourself, you've probably become well aware of how it's been popping up everywhere recently, in lessons, curricula, and even exams.

Here, we'll look at the fascinating research on Emotional Intelligence for teens and students-why it matters, and how to develop it. Then we'll dive into an in-depth look at some different ways that teachers and teens alike can take this knowledge and use it in practice.

In that vein, we'll be outlining some lesson plans and have put together a few Powerpoints that will hopefully make teaching EI easy. Because YES, Emotional Intelligence can 100% be taught and learned.

Is Emotional Intelligence Important for Teens?

In a handy little nutshell-yes. Just as it's important for adults, the concepts of social and emotional functioning play a key role in adolescents and teenagers. Emotional Intelligence in teens covers their ability to use emotions effectively and productively in an adaptive way (Sekhri, 2017).

In fact, the concept has become of incredible interest not only pedagogically, but to everyone who's realized that today's teens are going to make up tomorrow's workforce.

Let's look at how Emotional Intelligence can play a role in students' lives.

What Do We Know about EI and Academic Achievement?

EI helps us manage negative emotions and our behaviors in response to them. So, does it impact on how teens and students perform academically?

Some research does, in fact, suggest a relationship between Emotional Intelligence and academic achievement (Fallahzadeh, 2011). In one study of Education students at university, Self-Emotion Appraisal and Understanding of Emotion were revealed to have positive significant linkages with their academic performance on assessments (Mohzan et al., 2013).

Later studies support this finding, with Sanchez-Ruiz and colleagues (2014) finding that EI predicted academic performance better than established personality traits and cognitive ability for Cyprus university students.

These are findings that support the premises of Bar-On, developed of the EQ-i assessment, who has argued that " academic performance appears to be facilitated by being able to set personal goals as well as to be sufficiently optimistic and self-motivated to accomplish them " (Bar-On, 2005, p.14-15).

But what about teens specifically? Interestingly, there is also empirical evidence to suggest that teens with EI are better able to make the transition from high school to higher education (Parker et al., 2005).

Results of a study of 1,426 first-year students found significantly higher interpersonal, stress management, and adaptability skills among students who were academically successful in entering university. The authors' conclusion was that EI has a large impact on students ability to deal with challenges such as developing new relationships and learning to live more independently, amongst other factors.

It is worth noting that while the studies above do provide evidence for some benefits of EI skills for students, they don't necessarily indicate an academic consensus. As with most areas in the field, much room for future research remains.

Emotional Intelligence: Implications for Students

So interpersonal and emotional management skills may play a pivotal part in helping students better handle the challenging aspects of academic life. But how can we help them develop these skills?

Fortunately for us, it's not as hard as it may sound. There are several ways that teachers can support students in developing these skills, but we will outline two main ones.

Active Listening

Psychologist Bradley Busch, author of The Science of Learning recommends that teachers practice Active Listening.

Based on the argument that students' mindsets, attitudes, and motivations are key to persistence and effort, Busch suggests actively listening to them is critical (Busch & Oakley, 2017). It's a concept encouraged by other practitioners, such as EI Coach Anne Loehr, who recommends facilitating two-way, truly interactive dialogue with students by:

focusing on both yourself and the student during dialogue;

being aware of your non-verbal cues;

validating that you have listened through appropriate responses; and

maintaining awareness of the environment.

This approach can be particularly relevant when a teacher may want to deliver feedback and is very much in line with empirical research supporting the link between active listening and motivation (Stone et al., 2009).

Self Awareness Exercises

If you've read any of our other articles on Emotional Intelligence, you'll already know that there's ample scientific evidence of anxiety being triggered by negative self-talk (Kross et al., 2014).

Because self-awareness involves becoming attuned to our internal dialogue, exercises to self-awareness can be a first step toward challenging these irrational processes (Ciarrochi et al., 2002). Helping students develop self-awareness, therefore, is one means of helping them deal with challenges like exam stress or test anxiety.

Returning to Busch's recommendations, this could involve getting students to keep a diary. It's one way to help improve their meta-cognition, by inviting them to notice patterns or trends in their thoughts and behavior (Tanner, 2012).

Emotional Intelligence in the Curriculum

Stepping back for a moment, it's easy to see that Emotional Intelligence for teens and students has become an incredibly popular topic. And one critical premise of recent years is the idea that EI should be infused into all areas of the curriculum, not dealt with in isolation (de Klerk & Le Roux, 2007).

This means that recent decades have seen a lot more focus on how we can integrate Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) initiatives into curricula.

So, while we couldn't possibly list all the different ways that schools have gone about revamping their curricula, one well-known example comes from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.

If you haven't already heard of RULER, it's the name given to the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence's SEL approach. The aim of the program is to help schools blend EI principles into their curricula. Through teacher training, coaching support, and evidence-based resources, RULER is designed to inform classroom teaching all the way from preschool up to the high school level.

It's one example of how schools and pedagogy are already very much on the bandwagon with the benefits of EI for teens and students. If you're interested in learning more about the tools and skills that the approach imparts, you can visit their website.

3 Emotional Intelligence Lesson Plans

Ready to start designing your own lesson plans? Here are three examples that you can use. We've tried to link them to the implications above, as well as cover some of the social skills that are so central to SEL.

1. Self Talk: How Thoughts Affect Feelings and Behavior

This lesson plan comes from the book Boost Emotional Intelligence in Students by Drs Elias and Tobias. It aims to assist students in Grades 5-9 to come to terms with the impact that our thoughts can have on our feelings and behavior. It does so by helping teens develop an awareness of when thoughts and self-talk may be having a negative or irrational influence on the way they act.

Part 1: The teacher introduces the concept of self-talk. Discuss the idea that we often talk to ourselves about the way we feel, and that these internal dialogues often play a part in how we behave.

Part 2: The Sharing Circle itself invites students to put up their hands if they sometimes talk to themselves.

Even if there are no volunteers, emphasize the fact that we do all have internal dialogue, despite not always being able to recognize it as such. Ask the students to think about whether their self-talk is kind (nice, positive) or critical (negative) and invite them to give some examples of what their self-talk might sound like when they are facing a tough situation.

Here an ice-breaker might help, if you describe a personal example, such as (Elias & Tobias, 2018):

" This is going to work out well for me," and " This is not going to go well." or
" This is fun," and " I hate this."

Part 3: The third part is the skill introduction, during which the teacher will explain that self-talk is the way that we say things to ourselves mentally, and can often be about who we are or what we are capable of.

Describe that self-talk can have a strong impact on how we feel and behave and that this can vary based on whether our self-talk is negative or positive. Where we are able to turn negative self-talk positive, we can start to have control over how we feel. The authors even provide a text that you can adapt (Elias & Tobias, 2018, p.62):

"Your self-talk can tell you how you are feeling and how to react, even when you're not aware of it. Sometimes those thoughts can become negative and harmful, so it's important for us to be aware of them. That can be difficult because there are so many distractions in life, from homework to social media. We sometimes need quiet in our lives in order to tune in to our self-talk."

Here, you can bring the discussion back around to the examples that they put forward in the sharing circle, and illustrate how vicious negative thought cycles can occur. This example from the authors may help (Elias & Tobias, 2018):
bad thing happens → we feel bad → we use negative self-talk → we feel worse →we react based on our negative feelings → more bad things happen
Acknowledge the reality that negative things do occur and that feeling bad about them is natural. Emphasize that it's when we repeat these negative thoughts and allow them to take over, that situations can become worse.

This can be developed further through the use of examples and inviting students to give positive alternative self-talk alternatives. At the end of the lesson, emphasize again that the first step to challenging negative self-talk is to become aware of it.

Find the lesson in its full format from MiddleWeb.com.

2. Facilitating Mindfulness

Mindfulness, meditation, and Emotional Intelligence have been linked numerous times in academic literature (Charoensukmongkol, 2014; Wang & Kong, 2014; Testa & Sangganjanavanich, 2016).

If you can't see yourself motivating teenagers to meditate with you-let alone in a classroom setting-don't worry. This Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) lesson from Edutopia.org is more about helping teens and students facilitate mindfulness for the first time. As you work through it, you will hopefully be able to see that it has strong links with the concept of emotional perception (Mayer & Salovey, 2006).

Step 1: Invite the students to form a circle of chairs. Get them to put their feet flat on the ground and open the session by starting a discussion about the benefits of mindfulness. It may help if you begin by pointing out that mindfulness is not limited to meditation, but has other advantages. Aukeem Ballard, the creator of the exercise, mentions using the following: " It is not strictly meditation, but rather a practice in supporting your mind to take care of yourself."

Step 2: Encourage students to get on board with the activity, or offer them the chance to opt out. If you are already familiar with your class of students, you may already have a good idea of how to get them to participate meaningfully.

Step 3: Share the personal benefits that mindfulness practice has had for you. You may wish to relate a personal anecdote where a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction exercise or similar approach has helped you overcome negative emotions.

Step 4: Outline and justify each step as you proceed. Start with asking your students to close their eyes and take three slow, deep breaths in and out. You can do this as a group and reflect together silently before you move on to asking them to reflect.

The subject of this reflection may vary. One idea is to start by asking your students to reflect on their current state. How they are feeling, and validate that feeling without any judgment. You may then want to move on to a specific theme that you have prepared for the rest of the lesson.

Step 5: Each step involves balancing the time that you spend giving instructions with your students' reflection time. Ballard uses this line as an example: " Now we are going to hold that focus for a little while. We just focus on where our air is entering and exiting our body. "

Step 6: Address only behaviors that are 'unsafe'. You may choose to respond to giggling or messing around simply by reinforcing the mindfulness; reiterate the goal of the current stage in a calm and gentle way.

Step 7: Reflect on the exercise and gather feedback. The idea behind this step is to make sense of the whole mindfulness exercise. Students may feel more comfortable talking to a classmate, while you can also let them know that direct feedback is welcome.

You can see the exercise in its entirety at Edutopia.org.

3. Social Communication Skill: Assertiveness

This exercise from NobelCoaching.com is designed to help an individual teen or student develop assertiveness. Nonetheless, it can be easily turned into a larger group activity if you ask students to work with a partner. This allows them to appropriately express how they feel while building their self-confidence and self-esteem.

If we return to the MSC Model for a second, this is related to the ability to manage relationships by attending to their socioemotional or interpersonal context.

Saying no to others can sometimes be difficult, but necessary. This exercise asks teens to start a dialogue that involves asking someone else for something-while expressing their feelings.

To start the exercise, create a 'list of social challenges', and construct a deck of cards from this. Each challenge should ideally reflect teen-relevant social situations and be tailored to their age. Each student will then pick out a card at random and carry out the challenge either over the next day or a few days-this will vary as per your schedules.

The exercise also lists some social challenge examples, including (NobelCoaching, 2018):

Contacting your favorite shop's customer service and requesting information about a product that you're interested in;

Finding out X new facts about a classmate; or

Giving someone an honest compliment.

As a critical last step, open a dialogue with the student about how they felt as a result of the challenge. Ask them to think of different ways they could have expressed themselves, made their request, or asked a question. What were others' reactions?

You can access the original excellent blog from Nobelcoaching.com, where it has been adapted in turn from the Speech Bubble SLP.

What Does EI Mean for Teachers?

Based on what we've already looked at in this article, it's clear that EI is becoming an increasingly important part of curricula. It suggests a growing trend towards lessons and approaches that are either designed to teach or informed by Emotional Intelligence principles. If not both!

But what can teachers expect? Well, first, teachers now have lots more available resources than they did when the famous marshmallow experiment was brand new (Shoda et al., 1990). These resources and a strong understanding of what Emotional Intelligence involves mean that educators can now access and implement evidence-based strategies for:

Classroom management;

Feedback for collaborative classrooms (n.d.);

Managing bullying (EI.Yale.edu, 2019);

Supporting students with test anxiety;

Fostering creativity; and

Much more.

3 EI Powerpoints (PPTs) for Teachers

If you would like to start with an introduction to Emotional Intelligence and its concepts, we have put together some Powerpoints to help you.

1. Emotional Intelligence in a Nutshell: Swinburne University

This presentation is a nice primer for the EI concept, which outlines the different facets in an easily-understood way. The slides start with a simple definition, then outline examples of EI, and conclude with some activities to encourage involvement from your class.

Download the presentation from Swinburne University.

2. Emotional Intelligence Training Program for At-Risk Youth in High School

If you are looking for some ideas for your own presentation, this EI Powerpoint from the Canadian Counseling and Psychotherapy Association (CCPA) may give you some good ideas.

This presentation provides an overview of EI and invites students to reflect on their own feelings and behavior. EI training is broken down into three stages within this resource: Self Awareness, Emotion Management, and Relationship Building.

Access the presentation by the CCPA's Shelley Skelton.

3. Challenging Negative Thoughts: University of New Hampshire

This is a template on Thought Replacement Strategies from the University of New Hampshire. You can use this for inspiration if you are thinking about putting together a presentation that will allow you to work through exercises with your class.

The idea behind this presentation is that we can learn (and teach) methods for challenging negative thoughts, as well as self-talk to develop greater EI. It introduces the idea of identifying and acknowledging cognitive patterns in order to replace them with more useful ones.

Download the PPT from its source.

Can Emotional Intelligence Be Taught to Adults?

Emotional Intelligence can be taught to both adults and teens. EI is very often a critical part of many leadership development initiatives, and EI benefits in the workplace are very widely acknowledged (Ovans, 2015).

In fact, we've already put together some resources to help you explore this topic in more depth. If you're interested in finding out how EI is developed, and how you can get started, here is a good place to start!

Can Emotional Intelligence Be Learned?

Absolutely, Emotional Intelligence is as easy to learn as it is to teach. There are myriad ways to develop your Emotional Intelligence Skills, both at work and in daily life. and later in this article, we'll introduce some EI games that aim to do just that.

Just like other skills, though, there's no magic bullet for learning Emotional Intelligence skills. You can start by trying out different approaches, and once you've found something that works for you-practice is the key.

3 EI Questionnaires For Students (PDF included)

1. The Quick Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessment

The Quick Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessmen t is provided by the San Diego City College MESA (Mathematics and Engineering Science Achievement) Program.

Based on an EI Model developed by neuroscientist, and educator Paul Mohapel, it's a forty-item self-report questionnaire that assesses four key areas. These are Emotional Awareness, Emotional Management, Social Emotional Awareness, and Relationship Management. Amongst his other noteworthy credentials, Paul Mohapel is also a certified facilitator in the Bar-On Emotional Quotient Inventory.

For each domain, students can rate their own strengths for different statements on a 0-4 Likert scale, with 0 being 'Never', and 4 being 'Always'. At the end of the EI questionnaire, a total score for each domain allows the test-taker to assess their strengths and identify potential areas for improvement. Students are also able to reflect on their Emotional Intelligence strengths in practice through a few free-form questions underneath.
1. Emotional Awareness
Here are some example sentences that students use to assess each domain:
2. Emotional Management
My feelings are clear to me at any given moment;
I am able to stand apart from my thoughts and feelings and example them; and
Even when I'm upset, I'm aware of what's happening to me.
3. Social-Emotional Awareness
I can accept critical comments from others without becoming angry;
I control urges to overindulge in things that could damage my well being; and
I maintain my composure, even during stressful times.
4. Relationship Management
I usually know when to speak and when to be silent;
I am able to be supportive when giving bad news to others; and
I care what happens to other people.

I am able to show affection;
I find it easy to share my deep feelings with others; and
I am able to talk someone down even if they are very upset.

You can download an adapted version of the assessment here.

2. Global Emotional Intelligence Test: GlobaLeadership Foundation

This 40-item questionnaire from the GlobaLeadership Foundation is based on Goleman's (2002) Emotional Intelligence Competency Model-the 4-factor model. It's super-simple to fill out, with only two response choices for each question. And like other tests, participants are encouraged to give their initial reaction rather than think too hard about how to answer.

Some example questions and answers include (GlobaLeadershipFoundation.com, 2018):

In total, the average time needed to complete the test is about ten minutes.

Take the GlobaLeadership Foundation Emotional Intelligence free test.

3. Test Your Emotional Intelligence: Greater Good Science Center (UC Berkeley)

As you may know from some of our other articles, Perceiving Emotions is one of the four EI components proposed by Mayer and Salovey in their original model (2006). This was later developed into the Mayer, Salovey & Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT) (MHS.com, 2018a).

This quiz by the Greater Good Science Center (GGSC) is about interpreting nonverbal cues, so to take the test, you simply read others' emotions from photos of faces. Interestingly, it even covers the actual muscles that get to work when we're expressing sadness, happiness, disgust, flirtatiousness, and more.

It should be noted that while these may draw on evidence-based measures, they aren't intended as formal assessments. They can, however, offer some insight into the general question types commonly used in professional instruments.

5 Emotional Intelligence Games

Just like the EI literature (and the questionnaires above), Emotional Intelligence games can be found based on various frameworks. That is, some center on developing the 5 EI components popularized by Daniel Goleman, some on the 4-component MSC model, and some may take a more general approach.

First up, two group activities or games from the International Institute for Restorative Practices (IIRP). The first one looks at Managing Relationships, and the second is designed as a Self Awareness activity.

1. Managing Relationships: Turning Complaints into Requests (IIRP)

This relationship management game is focused on communicating our issues to those around us. It centers on the way we choose to express ourselves, and how this impacts on our likelihood of reaching a successful resolution through relationship management.

For the activity, participants list some issues that currently are bothering them-there's no issue too big or small for this exercise. They then select one thing to discuss with the group, and everybody should have the opportunity to share their specific issue.

For example:

Person A's issue may be - "This room is a mess"; and
Person B's issue could be - "I'm still waiting for your report".

The facilitator discusses how the ways in which we communicate with other people often influences their willingness to help us solve our problems. Rather, we focus on the actual need, whether it's for a tidy room or for someone to give us their report. Then instead of complaining, we make a request.

The main part of this exercise is going around the group and allowing participants to transform their issues from complaints into requests. For example:

Person A's complaint becomes - "Could you help me with tidying up this room?"; and
Person B's request would be - "Would you please be able to give me your report?"

2. Self Awareness: Emotions Faces (IIRP)

This game uses 'Emotions Faces', created by Adele Lynn, author of the book Quick Emotional Intelligence Activities for Busy Managers. If you prefer, you can create your own chart for this game. In this activity, the therapist or facilitator will hand out colored sticker dots to participants, who place them on the chart to identify their feelings.

This then is repeated across several days in order to look at how our feelings change over the period.

While the game itself is simple enough, the idea is to guide and encourage participants in discussing how our emotions at a certain time can influence the way we perceive events and other people.

This discussion should also cover how our feelings and moods can be 'contagious' to those around us.

In this amazing PDF, you can find the Emotional Intelligence game amongst many others. You can also download the 'Emotions Faces' chart itself in the Quick Emotional Intelligence Activities for Busy Managers ebook, which is available on Amazon.

3. My Colored Hat

The My Colored Hat exercise is quite a popular game and one you may already have come across in our article on How to Improve Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace. In case you haven't yet bumped into it, this exercise is covered in depth in the blog post above, or you can find the original activity here.

In a nutshell, however, this goes as follows:

The facilitator, teacher, or therapist makes (or buys!) some colored hats in 4-6 different colors, one for each participant;

Assign a different emotion to each hat and tell everyone involved which stands for which;

Each player then chooses the colored hat that best represents their current mood and wears it, as everyone gathers in a circle.

The idea behind the game is then revealed; it draws on the theory behind cognitive restructuring. The premise is that we can differentiate between and manage our emotions according to their usefulness and appropriateness.

Those with a negative emotion-colored hat acknowledge the negative feeling, then set it to the side. Those with a positive emotion-colored hat should be encouraged to express that emotion and describe it with the others, allowing themselves to appreciate the feeling.

When everybody has had a turn, we return to the negative emotion hats and confront the feeling that it represents. Essentially, we find an adaptive way of dealing with it. The key goal is to explore ways in which the negative emotion can be replaced with a positive one.

4. Eye Contact/No Eye Contact

In her blog, Creative Arts Psychotherapist Jude Treder-Wolff shares this brilliant game from training and consulting providers Lifestage. This is an improvisation-based exercise that has its scientific base in several empirical studies supporting the importance of eye contact in social interactions and empathy (Wesselmann et al., 2012; Montague et al., 2013).

The dual goals of the game are for participants to experience the effect of eye contact in silent interpersonal interactions, and its effect on our emotional states and connections (Treder-Wolff, 2014).

Stage One: The facilitator begins by asking the group participants to imagine that they are in a public and open area-such as an airport or gallery. Armed with sticky notes, they then walk around the area for 1-2 minutes, during which time they make zero eye contact with others.

They make notes of any emotions they become aware of during the time and post the notes at a certain point on the wall. This note-taking and posting exercise is repeated after the next two stages.

Stage Two: Participants repeat the 1-2 minute exercise, this time seeking eye contact with others, but then looking away instantly once it is established.

Stage Three: Participants carry out the exercise again, this time searching out eye contact and pairing up with the first person to respond in kind. They walk alongside that partner and both avoid eye contact with all others.

Lastly, the group reforms a circle and everybody looks down at their shoes. The facilitator can count to three, on which everyone will look up and actively seek out eye contact with someone else. If they do so successfully, they high five.

The game raises several discussion questions as a key part of the activity, which can be guided by the notes. Some of these questions are (Treder-Wolff, 2014):

What feelings are evoked by each stage?
How does this apply to life in the real world, e.g. what is our emotional reaction to people who look away rather than make eye contact?
What might it mean for client/student contact to make solid eye contact?

Find the full exercise, and more, here.

5. EQ for Success

Those of you after a more competitive type of Emotional Intelligence game may like EQ for Success, a card game from Play Therapy Supply that's designed for ages 14 and up. That having been said, it's also possible to play this game as a cooperative version.

EQ for Success is based on Goleman's 5 factor model of EQ. Each player receives a card with a picture of a brain on it, and space for tokens to be placed on top. Participants then answer questions from five decks of cards, each of which stands for one of the five EQ components: Self Awareness, Emotions Management, Self-Motivation, Relationship Skills, and Empathy.

There's also another deck with a slightly more educational component, too. When any card is picked by a player, another participant asks that person an EQ question, and the first player has to give possible answers. By winning tokens with correct answers, they can fill up the Brain Card, and the first person to do so completely wins the game.

If that's too cut-throat for your liking, EQ for success can also be played cooperatively, where participants fill up two Brain Cards collaboratively.

You can buy EQ for Success at Play Therapy Supply.

A Take Home Message

In this article, we've considered the role of EI for teens, with a special look at how it impacts their lives as students.

Due to there being so much practitioner and academic interest in the area of teen and student EI, we can definitely expect a lot more to come in the near future. Lesson plans, empirical research, and pedagogical initiatives like the Yale RULER approach have already paved a solid path forward for those of us interested in helping our teens develop. It's a promising area!

If you have already used any of the lesson plans or exercises that we've put together, we would love to hear about it. Please also feel free to share any experiences that you have had in teaching Emotional Intelligence in the comments below. Happy teaching!

References

Bar-On, R. (2005). Bar-On model of emotional-social intelligence (ESI). Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations. Retrieved from http://www.eiconsortium.org/pdf/baron_model_of_emotional_social_intelligence.pdf

Brackett, M. A., & Salovey, P. (2006). Measuring emotional intelligence with the Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT). Psicothema, 18(S), 34-41.

Busch, B., & Oakley, B. (2017). Emotional intelligence: why it matters and how to teach it. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/2017/nov/03/emotional-intelligence-why-it-matters-and-how-to-teach-it.

Charoensukmongkol, P. (2014). Benefits of Mindfulness Meditation on Emotional Intelligence, General Self-Efficacy, and Perceived Stress: Evidence from Thailand. Journal of Spirituality in Mental Health, 16, 171-192.

Ciarrochi, J., Deane, F. P., & Anderson, S. (2002). Emotional intelligence moderates the relationship between stress and mental health. Personality and individual differences, 32(2), 197-209.

De Klerk, R. & Le Roux, R. (2007). Emotional Intelligence for children and teens. Human and Roussou.

EI.Yale.edu. (2019). Preventing Bullying using Emotional Intelligence Training. Retrieved from http://ei.yale.edu/preventing-bullying-using-emotional-intelligence-training/.

Elias, M.J., & Tobias, S.E. (2018). Boost Emotional Intelligence in Students: 30 Flexible Research-Based Activities to Build EQ Skills (Grades 5-9). Free Spirit Publishing Inc.

Fallahzadeh, H. (2011). The relationship between emotional intelligence and academic achievement in medical science students in Iran. Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences, 30, 1461-1466.

GlobaLeadershipFoundation.com. (2018). Emotional Intelligence Test. Retrieved from http://globalleadershipfoundation.com/geit/eitest.html.

Harrison, G.D. (n.d.). Emotional Intelligence for Teachers Workshop Series. Retrieved from https://www.ru.ac.za/media/rhodesuniversity/content/csd/csd/EQ%20manual%20book%20one%20Teachers%20(printable).pdf.

Kross, E., Bruehlman-Senecal, E., Park, J., Burson, A., Dougherty, A., Shablack, H., ... & Ayduk, O. (2014). Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters. Journal of personality and social psychology, 106(2), 304.

Mayer, J., & Salovey, P. (1997). What is Emotional Intelligence? In P. Salovey and D. Sluyter (Eds). Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence. New York: Basic Books.

Montague, E., Chen, P. Y., Xu, J., Chewning, B., & Barrett, B. (2013). Nonverbal interpersonal interactions in clinical encounters and patient perceptions of empathy. Journal of Participatory Medicine, 5, e33.

MHS.com. (2018a). MSCEIT™ Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test™. Retrieved from https://www.mhs.com/MHS-Talent?prodname=msceit.

NobelCoaching. (2018). 4 social/emotional skills you can easily practice with teens. Retrieved from https://nobelcoaching.com/emotional-skills/.

Ovans, A. (2015). How emotional intelligence became a key leadership skill. Harvard Business Review, 28.

Parker, J., Duffy, J., Wood, L., Bond, B., & Hogan, M. (2005). Academic achievement and emotional intelligence: Predicting the successful transition from high school to university. Journal of the first-year experience & students in transition, 17(1), 67-78.

Sanchez-Ruiz, M. J., Mavroveli, S., & Poullis, J. (2013). Trait emotional intelligence and its links to university performance: An examination. Personality and Individual Differences, 54(5), 658-662.

Sekhri, P., Sandhu, M., & Sachdev, V. (2017). Emerging Understanding of Emotional Intelligence of Teenagers. International Journal of Clinical Pediatric Dentistry, 10(3), 289.

Stone, D. N., Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2009). Beyond talk: Creating autonomous motivation through self-determination theory. Journal of General Management, 34(3), 75-91.

Tanner, K. D. (2012). Promoting student metacognition. CBE-Life Sciences Education, 11(2), 113-120.

Testa, D., & Sangganjanavanich, V. F. (2016). Contribution of mindfulness and emotional intelligence to burnout among counseling interns. Counselor Education and Supervision, 55(2), 95-108.

Thomas, C. L., Cassady, J. C., & Heller, M. L. (2017). The influence of emotional intelligence, cognitive test anxiety, and coping strategies on undergraduate academic performance. Learning and Individual Differences, 55, 40-48.

Treder-Wolff, J. (2014). Improvisation Games & Exercises For Developing Emotional Intelligence. Retrieved from: http://www.livesinprogress.net/2014/01/improvisation-games-exercises-for.html.

Urquijo, I., Extremera, N., & Villa, A. (2016). Emotional intelligence, life satisfaction, and psychological well-being in graduates: the mediating effect of perceived stress. Applied Research in Quality of Life, 11(4), 1241-1252.

Wang, Y., & Kong, F. (2014). The role of emotional intelligence in the impact of mindfulness on life satisfaction and mental distress. Social Indicators Research, 116(3), 843-852.

Wesselmann, E. D., Nairne, J. S., & Williams, K. D. (2012). An evolutionary social psychological approach to studying the effects of ostracism. Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology, 6(3), 309.

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Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Teens and Students (Incl. PPTs)

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Last Updated on Emotional Intelligence is highly important in a teen's development. There is considerable evidence pointing to its positive role in helping students deal with stress, develop relationships, and handle the transitions facing them.

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Managing the Classroom by Teaching Emotional Regulation

Lori Jackson and Steve Peck

In study after study, we see the important link between emotional regulation and learning:

In 2007, researchers stated, "Our findings suggest that children who have difficulty regulating their emotions have trouble learning in the classroom and are less productive and accurate when completing assignments," (Graziano, Reavis, Keane, & Calkins, 2007).

"The emotional brain, the limbic system, has the power to open or close access to learning, memory, and the ability to make novel connections," (Vail, 2017).

"The ability to regulate emotions is an essential prerequisite for adaptive development and behavior" (Sousa Machado & Pardal, 2013).

More simply, our emotions drive our behaviors. As educators, we must teach emotional regulation to our students for them to achieve goal-directed and purposeful behavior. We must equip our students with the ability to self-identify and manage their emotions so that they can make good choices if we expect a positive classroom environment.

Many years ago, we worked with a student who cried multiple times per day, every day, in his classroom. Regardless of the activity, time, or location, his response to any situation was to cry. His emotional outbursts affected everyone around him-he literally stopped students' learning. As a result, he was often removed from the classroom to work in a separate setting. Really, this just masked the situation because his frequent moves continued to cause a stop in momentum. In addition, other students began to act out. It was a huge issue. We needed to institute a change in how we were managing the entire classroom. It was clear that the traditional system of behavior management was not sufficient. Behavior plans and incentives weren't enough and often weren't effective.

To address this issue, it was time for a classroom management overhaul.

Since then, we've designed and developed classroom-friendly ways to teach kids about their emotions and to learn to pair their emotions with their behavior. This refocusing on teaching skills versus monitoring behavior results creates lasting change. Students have become their own emotional managers. We have developed students who are empowered to drive their own learning and show resilience in times of challenge.

When students have gained understanding of their emotions and learned to manage them, they can focus on learning. How do we develop students who can manage their emotions and be ready to learn? It's a process of changing the focus to address the underlying emotions driving the behavior instead of just focusing on the observed behavior. By focusing on the emotions driving the behavior, students are able to understand the source of their actions and choose new, on-target behavior for the situation. This puts the power of change with the student.

The first step is looking at the classroom as a whole. Start by observing, identifying, and recording the challenges in your classroom. Are there certain times when behavior is the most difficult? Certain students? Subjects? Begin keeping a record of incidents; even small items can help. Spotting trends, identifying potential causes, and sharing data with your team makes a big difference.

In addition, there are easy things teachers can do to help manage the environment that will bring about change. A few minutes of purposeful activity can help kids move their rational brains into gear. Plan regular desk rearrangements to mix students with different personalities and working styles. Build in some time for kids to move around. Their increased focus will more than offset the few minutes of time dedicated to these activities. We also suggest a minute of mindfulness at least once a day (a quick 30-60 seconds of deep, calm breathing). All of these can help keep the tone of your room calm and keep everyone's emotions in check.

That said, you are likely to have a few students who show the most difficulty managing their behavior and often affect other students. This is your next focus. Identify a few students who really need a makeover. The big change is that now, instead of rewarding behavior, reward kids for identifying their emotions and associated behaviors.

Start the journey of teaching emotional regulation by modeling to the class: "I'm feeling frustrated this morning because I got stuck in traffic. So, I couldn't get to finish a project I needed to finish, and so I yelled at Mrs. Smith when she asked me for my project."

Remember, when modeling, it is important to make sure that you're explicitly identifying your emotion and linked behavior. Next show them how to manage the emotion (frustration) in a more classroom-appropriate way. Everyone will have different strategies. Some may count to 10, do a school job, or get a drink of water.

Over time and with practice, these strategies will begin to allow students to manage their emotions. Behavior doesn't change overnight, but when you give kids the steps, the language, and the replacement strategies to do it, good things will happen.

Developing the foundational life skills that enable emotional regulation is the key to student-driven classroom management. With a few changes in the way we look at behavior and when we emphasize teaching kids to identify and manage their emotions, we can make significant changes to everyone's behavior in the classroom. The goal is students who are ready to learn and can drive their own future. The next time you see a student balling up a piece of paper and throwing it to the ground, don't address the paper. Teach the student to understand the emotion behind the action, and you will change the behavior for good.

References

Graziano, P. A., Reavis, R. D., Keane, S. P., & Calkins, S. D. (2007). The role of emotion regulation and children's early academic success. Journal of School Psychology, 45(1), 3-19.

Vail, P. L. (2017). The role of emotions in learning. Retrieved from https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/the-role-of-emotions-in-learning/

Sousa Machado, T., & Pardal, A. (2013). Emotion regulation and adaptive learning strategies in Portuguese adolescents: A study with the regulation emotion questionnaire-2 [conference paper]. Retrieved from www.researchgate.net

Lori Jackson is an educational psychologist who has been working with students and their families for more than 15 years, and Steve Peck is a special educator with more than 15 years of experience working with students who have multiple and severe disabilities. Together, they are cofounders of The Connections Model, an SEL and education technology company whose KidConnect app helps students develop emotional regulation, the necessary foundation for all learning.

ASCD Express, Vol. 14, No. 01. Copyright 2018 by ASCD. All rights reserved. Visit www.ascd.org/ascdexpress.

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Managing the Classroom by Teaching Emotional Regulation

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Managing the Classroom by Teaching Emotional Regulation Lori Jackson and Steve Peck In study after study, we see the important link between emotional regulation and learning: In 2007, researchers stated, "Our findings suggest that children who have difficulty regulating their emotions have trouble learning in the classroom and are less productive and accurate when completing assignments," (Graziano, Reavis, Keane, & Calkins, 2007).

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Discipline shouldn't be about punishing kids for misbehavior. Instead, the rewards and consequences you offer should be focused on teaching your kids the life skills they need to become responsible adults.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't give your kids negative consequences. In fact, consequences can be great teachers.

But it's important for that your discipline teach your kids how to do better next time so their mistakes become valuable learning opportunities. Here are six life skills your discipline should teach your child:

Self-Discipline

Nagging kids to do their homework, not giving them chores, or always rescuing them from difficult tasks won't teach self-discipline. Instead, doing too much for your child will reinforce his dependence on you.

The ultimate goal should be to work yourself out of a job. Eventually, your kids shouldn't need you anymore. In order for them to develop independence, however, you need to teach self-discipline.

Kids need to learn self-discipline in regards to money, chores, homework and time management. The best way to teach self-discipline, is by providing consistent consequences for misbehavior as well as positive consequences for good behavior.

Social Skills

Good social skills is a life skill that can make a big difference in your child's success throughout school and into adulthood. Most kids need a lot of help-and practice-learning social skills.

Young kids need to learn how to share, use good manners, and speak kindly so they can develop healthy friendships.

Older kids often need help fine tuning with their social skills. Asking for help, greeting new people, and dealing with rude behavior are just a few of the advanced skills your child will need to learn.

Identify specific social skills and good manners you want your child to learn. Role play how to use that skills and provide plenty of feedback. When you catch your child using good social skills, provide praise.

Consider social skills a work in progress. Look for teachable moments to help your child understand subtle skills, such as why you might speak up when someone is being picked on versus why you might stay silent when an elderly person steps in front of you in line.

Impulse Control

Kids slowly develop impulse control as they grow older. Parents can help facilitate impulse control skills in several ways. Offering logical consequences is one way to motivate your child to practice delayed gratification.

Praise can be another great way to help kids manage impulses. Praise your child for thinking before he acts, waiting for his turn in conversations, or walking away when he feels angry.

Pre-teaching can be an excellent way to help prevent problems before they start. For example, before getting out of the car, tell your 4-year-old, "When we get out of the car, we're going to hold hands and walk across the parking lot while looking out for cars." Shape behavior one step at a time as your child masters a new skill.

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6 Life Skills Your Discipline Should Be Teaching Your Child

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Discipline shouldn't be about punishing kids for misbehavior. Instead, the rewards and consequences you offer should be focused on teaching your kids the life skills they need to become responsible adults. That doesn't mean you shouldn't give your kids negative consequences. In fact, consequences can be great teachers.

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Edutopia is a free source of information, inspiration, and practical strategies for learning and teaching in preK-12 education. We are published by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization.

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The Impact of Toxic Stress on School Communities

Healthy stress is a natural part of life, including childhood. Children and adults alike need to be challenged in order to grow and develop. However, in the modern education system, healthy stress is frequently displaced by toxic stress. Toxic stress occurs when life's demands consistently outpace our ability to cope with those demands.

Students

Toxic stress impairs attention, emotion and mood regulation, sleep, and learning readiness daily in American classrooms. Even more troubling, prolonged exposure to childhood toxic stress has lifelong impacts on mental and physical health.

Educators

Toxic stress starts as decreased productivity and creativity, escalating to more serious symptoms like frequent anxiety, dissociation, frustration, and, eventually, burnout. Roughly half a million U.S. teachers leave the profession each year - a turnover rate of over 20 percent.

Parents

Toxic stress can lead to a parenting style that looks more like a "to-do" list, rather than an empathic, present-centered relationship with a developing child. Exposure to parental stress in early childhood has been shown to impact gene expression even years later in adolescence.

Toxic stress is challenging to work with because our stress response taps into some very old survival hardware in our evolutionary biology.

When a 4th grader reports that she felt she "was going to die" from test anxiety, she's telling the truth. The responses of her autonomic nervous system are the same whether she's taking a math test or sensing actual physical danger.

Even children who have not suffered adverse childhood experiences may struggle with frequent "mismatches" between the severity of a stimulus (a routine pop quiz) and their response (loss of peripheral vision, sweating, nausea, terror and immobility). In children suffering from trauma, these "mismatches" become chronic and habitual.

Because the roots of toxic stress lie deep in the nervous system, we need tools that go beyond the conceptual mind to directly target that system. To transform our habitual responses, we need to regularly practice our skills when we are not in "fight - flight - freeze" mode.

"Under duress we don't rise to our expectations, we fall to our level of training."
-Bruce Lee

Our courses establish two forms of training as the foundation for teaching
other methods of stress management, emotion regulation and interpersonal skills.

The Development of Mindfulness

The development of mindfulness, a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, emotions, sensations and surrounding environment.

The Development of Heartfulness

The intentional nurturing of positive mind states such as kindness and compassion.

These two trainings improve our ability to manage a number of significant psychological challenges associated with stress, including:

Overwhelm. The sense that life - and particularly your own thoughts and emotions - is "too much to handle."

Busyness. The sense that "doing things" has become compulsive - that you are constantly avoiding simply being with yourself.

Rumination. The sense that the same stressful thought patterns "loop" over and over again in your mind without being questioned.

Dissociation. The sense that you maintain unhealthy psychological distance from life and from people, cut off from your own and other people's emotions.

Narcissism. The sense that life is about defending, protecting and enhancing one's sense of self. A lack of empathy for the needs of others and an inability to take compassionate action.

Not Just Coping. Thriving.

In discussing how mindfulness practice addresses stress and other problems in education, we don't want to lose sight of the fact that mindfulness can take us beyond the terrain of managing symptoms to a place where we are developing the deepest capacities of the human mind.

We can think of the process as a spectrum:

Mindfulness-Based Interventions (MBIs) have nearly 35 years of research & development supporting them, and have moved progressively through three large institutional cultures: health care, mental health, & education. The timeline below gives some important milestones in this progression.

Solid scientific evidence suggests that mindfulness interventions improve attention, self-control, emotional resilience, recovery from addiction, memory and immune response. Here's a summary of benefits particularly relevant to educators:

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Benefits of Mindfulness in Education | Mindful Schools

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The Impact of Toxic Stress on School CommunitiesHealthy stress is a natural part of life, including childhood. Children and adults alike need to be challenged in order to grow and develop. However, in the modern education system, healthy stress is frequently displaced by toxic stress.

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Every kid needs a champion - Rita Pierson

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Every kid needs a champion - Rita Pierson

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Rita Pierson, a teacher for 40 years, once heard a colleague say, “They don’t pay me to like the kids.” Her response: “Kids don’t learn from people they don’t like.’” A rousing call to educators to believe in their students and actually connect with them on a real, human, personal level.

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Integrating Mindfulness in Your Classroom Curriculum

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Make mindfulness a part of classroom learning by integrating it into curriculum-themed activities through exercises in breathing, sensory experience, guided imagery, and movement.

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Mindfulness in the Classroom - Child Mind Institute

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Learn how mindfulness in the classroom can help kids regulate their behavior. Child Mind Institute shares mindfulness techniques to improve focus.

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Research clearly demonstrates that integrating social-emotional learning (SEL) into the classroom is good for both students and the adults who work with them.

But there's a story that the research hasn't captured-the one of powerful transformation that can result from the practice of SEL.

I recently spoke to a number of educators about the impact of SEL on themselves and their students. What they told me revealed the potential of SEL to transform not only people, but also education itself.

SEL transforms the inner life of teachers

© Emily Campbell

When educators begin using SEL in the classroom, sometimes the most surprising outcome is how they personally change. Unless a teacher is an automaton, teaching students emotional and relationship skills compels a teacher to reflect on his or her own social-emotional competencies-sometimes both in and out of the classroom.

Elementary educator Patricia Morris found that she had changed significantly as a result of using SEL in her classroom. "I'm calmer, more patient, kinder, and far less controlling," described Patricia. "I'm more focused and able to let little things go that before would've made me crazy. I'm also more willing to look for the reasons behind things that happen. And I've become more optimistic, so when anything terrible happens, I try to see what good might come out of it."

Lora Bird, a Kindergarten and music teacher, discovered that SEL rounded out her personality. "I've become a much broader, more grounded person by becoming the person that my students need me to be," said Lora. "At the beginning of my career, I identified as a sweet, nice, kind person, so it rubbed up against my self-concept when I had students who needed an assertive and firm teacher. I had to learn how to be really firm and assertive while still being kind and true to myself. I quickly discovered how much I needed that firmness in every area of my life!"

Cultivating social-emotional skills within themselves helps teachers model these skills for students-a critical factor for successful implementation of SEL. For example, one study found that teachers who were required to teach an SEL program, but didn't buy into what they were teaching, actually worsened their students' social-emotional skills. But research has also shown that teachers who do develop these skills reap the rewards of greater mental health and more effective teaching, both of which have a huge impact on students' success in school.

Mandi Ruud, a middle school teacher, not only modeled SEL skills for her students, but also asked her students for help in cultivating these skills:

SEL helped me realize that I needed to improve my social-emotional skills, too. So I told my students that becoming socially-emotionally intelligent is a lifelong goal and that perhaps we could work on these skills together-help keep each other in check. And they really do call me out sometimes. If I'm getting a little frustrated, they'll say, 'Ms. Ruud, you don't get to talk to us like that because that's not nice.' And I tell them, 'You're right. That's not fair of me.' So we work on how we talk to each other and our general empathy towards others.

SEL promotes teacher well-being

© Jason Marsh

Well-being is one of the major outcomes for educators who cultivate their own social-emotional skills. With the high attrition rate of teachers-a whopping 50 percent in the first five years- teacher self-care is crucial, if not imperative, for the profession.

The efforts of the Oakland Unified School District (OUSD) to make SEL and teacher care a priority before implementing SEL in the classroom shows an extraordinary understanding of "we can't teach what we don't know." In other words, OUSD has realized that teachers who don't take care of themselves by developing their own social-emotional skills will have a hard time helping students to do so. Associate Superintendent Brigitte Marshall articulated this understanding along with her role as a leader in promoting teacher self-care throughout the district:

I've been given permission by the district to prioritize my own well-being and my understanding of being in relationship with people. The direction given by the district is that these things matter and will actually make you more effective in doing what you care about. But we constantly need reminders when the work becomes urgent to take care of ourselves-so that we come to work ready to do good work as opposed to fatigued and exhausted. To have the district institutionally name that this is important makes a huge difference, which is why I took my role as an ambassador of SEL throughout the district very, very seriously. If this is to permeate the district, then leaders have to take it seriously and lead in a certain way. Knowing this was the expectation of me, I could not be hypocritical and talk about work-life balance and improving interpersonal skills without focusing on improving these things for myself.

SEL changes teachers' views of the profession

Even though the job is tough, teachers do the most meaningful work in the world: shaping the lives of human beings. And, according to research, people who find meaning in their work have higher levels of job satisfaction, motivation, and performance. But oftentimes the stress and demands of the profession cause teachers to lose sight of this meaning-which can lead to burnout and teacher attrition. SEL helps to restore this meaning.

Middle school teacher Katherine Shea found SEL to be career-changing. "Last year, I resolved to not yell at my students," she said, "and it turned out to be the best year I've had as a teacher, with the best relationships I've ever had with my students. SEL completely changed the way I taught and it made me more excited to go back this year."

Meena Srinivasan, program manager for OUSD's SEL and Leadership Team and author of Teach, Breathe, Learn: Mindfulness in and out of the Classroom, found that SEL renewed her love of teaching:

Before I started working with SEL, sometimes I got so stressed that I lost contact with my original intention for becoming a teacher. SEL has rekindled that light inside of me. It's the light of why I became an educator in the first place-to help students connect with their dreams and aspirations and become better people who contribute to the world in a positive way. That's the power of the SEL lens; it fosters purpose and meaning and deep connection.

SEL enriches the student-teacher relationship

The relationship between teachers and students is at the heart of learning, and most teachers intuitively know this. Research has shown that students who experience a caring relationship with a teacher are more motivated to learn, and, hence, they enjoy school more and demonstrate greater academic success. The practice of SEL can bring this relationship to teachers' conscious awareness, helping them to intentionally cultivate positive relationships with students.

Teresa Collins, an associate professor of education, described how SEL not only gave her a deeper understanding of the connections she forged with students, but also shifted how she viewed her students. "I have always believed strongly in the teacher/student conference model," said Teresa, "and explicitly encourage students to meet with me outside of class to discuss their work. But SEL helped me to see the even greater importance and significance in these informal connections. As a result, I saw my students in a more compassionate way than I had before. SEL simply, but powerfully, changed the way I viewed them as individuals."

SEL also provides teachers a lens through which to view the most challenging students and then teaches them to respond to these students with compassion and understanding rather than shame and punishment. For educators of young children, this is particularly important as research has shown that a student's relationship with his or her Kindergarten teacher has an effect on the student's long-term academic outcomes-all the way up to 8th grade!

Lora Bird shared how she used SEL to help a student in her Kindergarten classroom-who had experienced a lot of ongoing trauma-thrive in school:

This student came to me with a core of defiance-she would rip up her papers, run away, and be quite obstinate. Most teachers would have labeled her oppositional-defiant, created a big file on her, and sent her to a counselor. Because I'm trying to embody SEL, I chose to be calm, persistent, caring, and kind with her. I gave her permission to use a "feeling wheel" to label her emotion, and then sit in the "peace place" until she was ready to join the rest of the class. It gave her the power to know that she didn't need to act out in order to avoid a task. She started to open up to me and tell me why she was so sad and disappointed. It took about two months to turn her around - so that instead of acting out, she could tell me her story or draw a picture, then let the situation go and bounce away.

I learned that, even though it can be hard to not take a child's behavior personally, when you are mindful, you realize that the bad behavior is a cry for help. I think of a quote I read in a book: "When a child gives you a noose, you throw back a lifesaver." Children will give you a noose to hang them with because they believe in their own worthlessness and they expect that you will, too. They don't expect to trust adults or that someone really cares about them. This child is in second grade now and she's mostly bouncing and happy because she no longer needs to express her pain by misbehaving. She's also become quite a little writer, expressing very deep and profound things, showing a wisdom beyond her years in her ability to process her emotions.

SEL transforms student relationships

One of the main purposes of SEL is improving relationships between students. To the skeptic, positive student relationships may seem irrelevant to academic achievement; however, one study found that both students' self-control and sense of peer acceptance had a significant impact on their achievement in math. In other words, academic success wasn't just the result of students' ability to sit and do the work. Whether or not they felt other students in the classroom accepted them made a huge difference as well.

OUSD educator Kurt Kaaekuahiwi, who teaches ethnic studies to middle schoolers, described how SEL transformed the relationships amongst his students:

One of our guiding questions in the class is, "What does it mean to be a human being?" I want students to walk away with a culturally-sensitive approach to how they see other people who are different from themselves and to develop a greater purpose in how they utilize their experiences as a person in the world. SEL has cultivated an openness in the classroom that helps students share this exploration with each other. I had a 6th grade boy in a class with mainly 8th graders who shared two or three difficult stories in class. The other students cried and he broke down. Then kids got out of their seat in circle and hugged him. In this moment, students were seeing themselves in a human way that they don't often get to feel or think about or reflect upon. But they were doing that in this moment because they saw another human being and were able to reach out to him, connect with his pain and suffering. The relationship dynamics in the class shifted after that.

SEL requires micro-moves

SEL is very personal. Everyone comes to the SEL table with different social and emotional capacities-students and adults alike. As a result, not everyone sees the value of SEL. For an educator who passionately believes in SEL, but who is surrounded by nay-saying colleagues, this can be a very lonely journey.

At this year's GGSC Summer Institute for Educators, organizational psychology expert Monica Worline introduced the concept of micro-moves -small on-going actions of an individual or group of individuals that can bring about large changes in an organization or school. For teachers who feel alone in their efforts to implement SEL into their schools, a micro-move such as asking the question at a staff meeting, "What if we started our meetings by checking-in with each other," can be empowering.

Chris Zorn, a music and art specialist teacher at a university lab school, described how learning about the field of SEL not only gave him a new perspective on how to implement SEL at the school level, but also helped him feel part of the larger SEL movement:

I was becoming increasingly frustrated that it was so difficult to make change on a school-wide basis. But the Random Acts of Kindness (RAK) on-line SEL course helped me to relax and realize that I'm just planting seeds and that I can't do everything myself-to stop worrying if the SEL that I'm teaching doesn't come to fruition today or tomorrow. I think it's very easy for those of us who really want to do this SEL work to feel alone and that it's too big of a burden. Now, I look for opportunities where I can do just one next step, rather than having to change the entire school culture. The RAK class also made me see how big the SEL field is and how many people are doing things with it. That was a big wake-up call for me to know that I wasn't alone. That even though I may feel alone in my school, there are many other people on this planet who recognize the importance of SEL and want it to become more of a focus in education.

The power of these stories shows what's possible when education begins to focus on the development of the whole person. Rather than denying the social and emotional lives of teachers and students, SEL embraces our humanity, both individually and in relationship.

But these stories also reveal the unique experience of SEL for each of these educators. Thus, mandating SEL without a deeper understanding and personal experience of its impact serves no one. As Mary Hurley, Coordinator for SEL and Leadership Team in OUSD, explained, "Each person coming into SEL has to own it personally before we can actually systematize it."
Many thanks to the teachers who shared their stories with me and to Mary Hurley of OUSD, Marilyn Decalo of Random Acts of Kindness, Kim Schonert-Reichl of the University of British Columbia, and Lisa Pedrini of Vancouver Public Schools for putting me in touch with these amazing educators.

Greater Good wants to know: Do you think this article will influence your opinions or behavior?

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Research clearly demonstrates that integrating social-emotional learning (SEL) into the classroom is good for both students and the adults who work with them. But there's a story that the research hasn't captured-the one of powerful transformation that can result from the practice of SEL.

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When working with schools, I often hear, "I don't have time to teach SEL. I have a lot on my plate right now." It is true that in order to successfully implement social and emotional learning (SEL) programs and services, teachers and schools need to invest their most precious resource: time. Teaching an SEL curriculum, creating school-wide activities, or receiving professional development also requires commitment and some strategic planning. Are you discouraged by this? Don't be! The good news is that there's another side of the story: many teachers already use teaching strategies that support students' growth in this area. Do your students reflect on their work? Do you use pair-shares in your instruction? Do you celebrate your students' accomplishments? If so, you might already be supporting students' social and emotional development!

Effective Teachers Already Do It

Many teachers intuitively know that connecting with their students at an emotional level is key for young people's academic, social, and emotional growth. These teachers care deeply about students, paying attention to the climate in the classroom, their students' engagement during instruction, or their response to feedback. Research in the field of SEL has proven what effective educators already knew and had been doing all along: social and emotional skills have an important role in learning.

Students bring emotions to the classroom from life outside of school. They might be dealing with a stressful situation at home like a parent losing his or her job, or maybe something more momentary like an argument with a friend. Teachers can see when something is off with their students from the moment they enter the classroom, and know that students may need support in cooling off or letting go of the emotion before they can focus on academic content.

Students also experience emotions that originate in the classroom and are especially relevant to learning. For example, achievement emotions are feelings of success or failure (and everything in between) that result from classroom activities. In the charter school where I taught a few years ago, teachers openly discussed with students the anxiety and stress that came with certain activities, such as taking tests or public speaking, and helped students develop strategies that they could use in those situations. Although the school didn't have an SEL program at the time, teachers knew how to incorporate students' emotions during class to improve their disposition toward learning. Students can also experience emotions related to the topics addressed in class. Do you know students who get excited at just the thought of working in the lab or participating in an art contest? What about students that shut down in front of math problems or poetry? Great teachers care about the subjects they teach and have meaningful ways to share this passion in the classroom. Planning engaging lessons is a great way to incorporate social and emotional skills. Start by asking yourself, "What do I want students to know, feel, and do at the end of this lesson?"

Teaching Through an SEL Lens

Incorporating social and emotional skills in teaching and learning means creating an environment conducive to learning. That is to say, creating a classroom where students:

Actively engage in learning activities relevant to them

Develop skills necessary to reach positive life goals

Feel safe and academically challenged

Connect with their teachers and peers

Have a sense of belonging

The Center on Great Teachers & Leaders has identified ten teaching practices that promote students' social and emotional skills. Although these strategies are often used in schools, they are not often thought of as resources to develop students' social and emotional competencies. We'll conclude this post by focusing on three of the strategies:

1. Classroom Discussions

This practice addresses students' communication skills and offers an opportunity to engage in academic discourse. For meaningful participation in classroom discussions, students should listen attentively to others, pick out their ideas, and agree or disagree in respectful ways. Classroom discussions engage students' social and self-awareness, and enhance their ability to get along with their classmates.

2. Responsibility and Choice

To what degree do teachers allow students to make decisions about their work? This might include developing norms and procedures for the classroom, but also giving students choices for ways in which lessons and activities can be completed. Providing choices in the classroom increases students' sense of ownership over their learning and develops their responsible decision-making skills.

3. Teacher Language

It matters how teachers talk to students. From an SEL perspective, teacher language should encourage students to monitor and regulate their own behavior, while providing warmth and support. Teachers are powerful role models when it comes to social and emotional skills. Students can learn from their teachers about positive ways to encourage others, display empathy, or solve conflicts.

These three examples illustrate how teaching practices can support and enhance students' social and emotional development. In the next few days, observe your practice from an SEL perspective. How does your teaching support students' SEL growth? What other strategies could you incorporate to develop your students' social and emotional skills? Please share your thoughts and observations in the comments below.

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When working with schools, I often hear, "I don't have time to teach SEL. I have a lot on my plate right now." It is true that in order to successfully implement social and emotional learning (SEL) programs and services, teachers and schools need to invest their most precious resource: time.

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Educators almost universally agree that time in the classroom should encompass more than simply teaching students how to perform academic tasks and recall information. Students should also be learning how to apply those tasks in their everyday lives and understand how the information they're learning relates to the real world and the people around them. That's why it has become so important for educators to consider social and emotional learning (SEL) in their lesson planning.

The Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) defines SEL as "the process through which children and adults acquire and effectively apply the knowledge, attitudes, and skills necessary to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions." Based on this, CASEL has broken SEL down into five interrelated competencies: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making.

In this first installment of our five-part series on the SEL competencies, we're going to take a look at how you can incorporate self-awareness into your classroom.

Self-Awareness in Your Classroom

Learning self-awareness allows students to see how others see them, and it's an important skill that can also help students learn how to self-advocate and embrace good study habits. Give students opportunities to explore and understand how they learn.

As a classroom activity, you can help students set individual academic goals each week. At the end of the week, ask students to reflect on why they did or didn't achieve their goal. Then ask students to think about what changes they can make to overcome challenges or improve their methods for achieving their goal the following week. This gives students the ability to recognize how their strengths and weaknesses relate to their performance, enabling them to regulate their behaviors in ways that improve their learning.

Be sure to also remind students of their accountability to their own learning. While this is a responsibility, frame it as empowerment. Their success is largely in their hands. With that in mind, work with students to identify potential bad habits that might be interfering with their success. Negative mindsets, reluctance to work with and make use of classmates, and other self-defeating qualities can be identified and resolved by a student capable of self-auditing.

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Self-Awareness: Applying SEL in Your Classroom

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Educators almost universally agree that time in the classroom should encompass more than simply teaching students how to perform academic tasks and recall information. Students should also be learning how to apply those tasks in their everyday lives and understand how the information they're learning relates to the real world and the people around them.

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In their 2006 book, Treating Explosive Kids: The Collaborative Problem-Solving (CPS) Approach, Dr. Ross Greene and Dr. Stuart Ablon describe ...

The Ripple Kindness Project for Schools is an Australian, universal, social and emotional curriculum for the whole school that is ...

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UBC SEL Resource Finder SEL Resources - Apply

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In their 2006 book, Treating Explosive Kids: The Collaborative Problem-Solving (CPS) Approach, Dr. Ross Greene and Dr. Stuart Ablon describe ... The Ripple Kindness Project for Schools is an Australian, universal, social and emotional curriculum for the whole school that is ...

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Alfred and the Shadow

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Alfred & Shadow - A short story about emotions (education psychology health animation)

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How to apply the theory SEL in the classrooms

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How to apply the theory SEL in the classrooms

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SEL (Social and Emotional Learning) is essential in any special education program. Teachers know well that many students in special education programs have difficulties with identifying and expressing their emotions, social skills, empathy, conflict resolution, and more, so often special education teachers are the experts when it comes to SEL in the classroom.

More and more though, general education teachers see a need to integrate SEL into the classroom. Many students come from homes where parents are unable or unavailable to teach social and emotional intelligence.

Depression and anxiety are at all time highs for children, so students in the general education classroom can benefit just as much as special education students can.

The integration of SEL is also an opportunity to integrate special education students into the classroom for learning that is meaningful for them.

Theory to Action

Knowing the whys of SEL is essential, but the hows- putting theory into practice- are a bit more difficult. Here are a few suggestions from Edutopia on how to incorporate SEL into your classroom, to meet the needs of all students.

The Basics

Class Meeting: Build classroom community with a daily morning meeting. Having a daily classroom meeting helps students ease into the day and get set for learning. Most teachers do some version of this already. Consider incorporating student spotlights, some fun games to build community, and opportunities for students to share what is happening in their lives. This short time (20-30 minutes daily) helps bond the class together and gives everyone the feeling they are on the same team. It allows you to set the tone in your classroom exactly how you would like it.

Emotional Identification: It is often difficult for students to branch out beyond identifying the feelings sad, mad, and happy in describing how they feel. Edutopia suggests some fun activities for teaching and identifying emotions: "Students see the name of an emotion ("sad," "proud," "frustrated," "glad") on a piece of paper and then act out the emotion to other students, who guess what it is. They look at pictures of people and "read" their faces. Or students might pass around a stuffed animal (for moral support) and talk about how they're feeling that day."

Further Application

Learning Together: Effectively working with others is something our students will need their whole lives. Teaching this skill is really almost selfish on our part because it makes our lives so much easier! No guarantees, but less tattling may even be a positive side effect.

* Give Students Opportunities to Work Together: Assign group projects in many different subjects, but also assign some 'fun' projects for students to work on together. For example, if you have a class party, put some students on a committee to decorate, plan some games, or make invitations.

* Teach Them How to Fulfill Cooperative Roles: Explicitly teach students that each role a group is important. Start by assigning roles with specific duties assigned to each student. With older children or those more capable of independence, have them choose their roles.

* Variety of Groupings: Teachers should let children choose their groups sometimes, as this is highly motivating. Other times, assigning groups is more beneficial because it gives them the opportunity to work with someone they wouldn't otherwise choose.

Solving Conflicts

* Teach Children Effective Techniques: Teach kids how to manage their feelings. Our favorite proven effective strategy is the BeCool 3-step plan. This method teaches students that Cold (passive) and Hot (aggressive) responses to conflicts have negative consequences. But a Cool (assertive) response has positive outcomes and can lead to negotiation. Learn more about BeCool here.

Another good calming technique is to teach students deep breathing. Going to their 'happy place,' and positive affirmations can help kids calm down to be able to deal with conflicts.

* Teach Kids to Use I-messages: Edutopia defines I-messages as "A three-part statement that includes describing the offensive behavior, the feeling, and the effect of the behavior. 'When you talk to me during class, I feel angry because it prevents me from finishing my work on time.'"

* Active Listening: Teach kids to use active listening when solving conflicts with peers. This includes reflecting back what the other student is saying in a non-judgemental way. It also includes listening to truly understand rather than just to respond.

* Peer Mediation: A problem-solving structure that can be helpful for students on all sides to participate in. Edutopia explains:

"The two disputing sides agree to work towards a solution with a neutral party. All agree that what is said will not leave the room. They speak without interruption or insult, looking directly at each other. The peer mediator guides the discussion with clarifying questions and "active listening." In seeking a solution, the peer mediators asks questions like, "What do you want things to be like?" "What would it take to make that happen?" They come to a written or verbal agreement, which is restated at the closing of the meeting."

Decision-Making

As kids get older they need to learn to make independent decisions and the decisions they make become more and more consequential. Try teaching decision-making skills in the classroom through these activities.

* Relate Stories to Real Life: Fictional stories, especially fables, provide concrete examples of good and bad decisions of the consequences that follow. Read stories together and make connections to real-life situations.

* Buy Into the Classroom Environment: Students can help make decisions that affect them such as class rules, which science topic to study first, or where to sit.

Everyone Benefits

When you teach SEL in the classroom to all kids, they all benefit, and so will you. Your classroom will run more smoothly with fewer conflicts and happier kids.
By: Amy Curletto Amy has been teaching for 12 years in grades K-2. She has a bachelor's degree in Early Childhood and Elementary Education and also has endorsements in reading and ESL. Besides education, her other passion is writing and she has always dreamed of being a writer. She lives in Utah with her husband, her 3 daughters, and her miniature schnauzer. She enjoys reading, knitting, and camping.

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How to Apply the Theory of SEL to Your Classroom

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SEL (Social and Emotional Learning) is essential in any special education program. Teachers know well that many students in special education programs have difficulties with identifying and expressing their emotions, social skills, empathy, conflict resolution, and more, so often special education teachers are the experts when it comes to SEL in the classroom.

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50+ Simple Social-Emotional Learning Activities for All Ages

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Teach self-control, emotional awareness, and more by incorporating these easy social-emotional learning activities into your daily routine.

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For many years, our research team has worked with a variety of teachers and students with a wide range of behavioral needs and what we have seen over and over again is that when teachers use cognitive-behavioral strategies in their classroom, the effects on student behavior have been positive. Cognitive-behavioral interventions (CBIs) are becoming recognized as a viable, research-based approach appropriate for use in school settings.

In the clinical fields of psychiatry and mental health the appraoch is called cognitive-behavioral therapy and it has been successfully used in hospitals, residential treatment facilities, and outpatient clinics to treat conditions such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, obesity, anxiety and panic disorder, social phobia, eating disorders, alcohol and drug dependency, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and problems with anger and aggression. Due to positive results in clinical settings, CBIs have gained favor in school settings.

So, what exactly is a CBI? When teachers use a CBI, they can help their students control their own behavior, rather than attempting to control student behavior with external reinforcement alone (e.g., tokens for staying on task, praise for raising hand). CBIs teach students to use their inner speech to affect or to modify their underlying thinking, which in turn affects the way they behave. Simply put, inner speech (also known as covert self-instruction) consists of talking to oneself to solve a problem or guide behavior. Cognitive strategies can help students learn "how-to-think", instead of "what-to-think." CBIs are student operated, as opposed to more traditional teacher operated systems, meaning that they are based on students' self-control rather than external rewards and punishments. While we all know the benefits of using rewards (good) and punishments (use with caution!) in the classroom, we argue that it is even more important to teach students how to use their thinking to improve their own behavior.

So how are CBIs taught, and what are the benefits? CBI curricula, such as our Tools for Getting Along: Teaching Students to Problem Solve for upper elementary students (and Take CHARGE! for junior high/middle school), provide instructional techniques such as explicit teaching and use of modeling, role-playing, feedback, reinforcement, and cognitive components that include cognitive modeling through teacher think-alouds. Changing students' inner speech and teaching them how to think can influence their behaviors such as hitting, pushing, or teasing. Individuals can learn to develop and use self-instruction to inform more positive behavioral choices. Numerous studies demonstrate that teaching children cognitive strategies can strengthen pro-social behavior and decrease maladaptive behaviors like hyperactivity/impulsivity, disruption, and aggression. In a nutshell, by using CBIs within the classroom, you can equip your students with the skills to remain in control of their behavioral choices in a variety of settings, even when teachers are not around.
Here are some resources you may find helpful that include cogntive-behavioral strategies: Curricula
1. Tools for Getting Along which has been reviewed by National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices and by the U.S. Department of Education's What Works Clearinghouse.

2. Take CHARGE! (same as Tools for Getting Along except for junior high/middle school)
Books
1. A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Behavior Problems in the Elementary Classroom

(Stephen W. Smith, Ph.D. & Mitchell Yell, Ph.D.)

2. Managing Difficult Behaviors through Problem Solving Instruction: Strategies for the Elementary Classroom

(Stephen W. Smith, Ph.D. & Ann P. Daunic, Ph.D)

3. Preventing Problem Behaviors: Schoolwide Programs and Classroom Practices

(Robert F. Algozzine, Ph.D., Ann P. Daunic, Ph.D., Stephen W. Smith, Ph.D.)

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Cognitive-behavioral Strategies in the Classroom

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For many years, our research team has worked with a variety of teachers and students with a wide range of behavioral needs, and what we have seen over and over again is that when teachers use cognitive-behavioral strategies in their classrooms, the effects on student behavior have been [...]