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LGBTQ+ students include, but are not limited to, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and all other sexualities. These students can experience bullying, harassment, discrimination, poor mental health, suicidal thoughts, frequent absences, and more due to the challenges they may face at school. With support and more representation from the school community, we can make our schools a safe place for LGBTQ+ students.

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Include LGBT+ Literature in the Classroom Library

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Include LGBT+ Literature in the Classroom Library

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More than likely, you will have at least one student in your elementary classroom who will identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community later in their life. That is why it is important to provide representation early on in children's lives. Exposure to all different types of people and relationships from a young age is important. Sheltering them from this community gives the impression that there is something "wrong" with people who identify with LGBT+. It is important to represent the intersectionality in the LGBT+ community as well. This includes different races, genders, religions, etc.

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Modify Instruction that Reinforce Gender Dichotomy

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Modify Instruction that Reinforce Gender Dichotomy

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We often enforce gender norms or binaries without even being aware of it. For example, addressing the class as "boys and girls" disregards students who identify as neither a boy or a girl (or may be in the process questioning their gender). The first step to avoid this is by using gender neutral terms. For example, "Good morning friends!" Denormalize girls doing "girl things" and boys doing "boy things" in the classroom. For example, discuss women on professional sports teams and men in New York City Ballet, so children understand that humans are not refined by their gender. Discuss the assumptions your students may have about the opposite gender and work to deconstruct these biases as a group.

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Incorporate LGBT+ Topics into the Curriculum 

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Incorporate LGBT+ Topics into the Curriculum 

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Use important LGBTQ+ figures into your teaching. Mention the discrimination they may have faced, but also their victories. For example, Alan Turning created modern computer science but was persecuted for being gay. Include POC who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community as well for further representation. This allows students who are questioning or already identify as LGBTQ+ to feel represented in their classroom, therefore ensuring they are in safe and welcoming place. A good place to start is by checking out the GLSEN inclusive curriculum (https://www.glsen.org/activity/inclusive-curriculum-guide). Another great source is "Reading the Rainbow: LGBTQ-Inclusive Literacy in the Elementary Classroom" (https://shop.glsen.org/products/reading-the-rainbow-lgbtq-inclusive-literacy-instruction-in-the-elementary-classroom).

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This article entails how parents can best support their children apart of the LGBTQ+ community and how to keep their children safe. It also discusses the challenges LGBTQ+ youth face.

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"I was worried about my parents not accepting me for who I am," recalls Katie Green, who identifies as queer and came out to her family in her early twenties. "I was worried they would stop loving me."

Green's worries are echoed by many LGBTQ teens and young adults facing the prospect of coming out to parents whose reaction they are less than sure about. Even when parents are likely to be understanding, coming out can be a source of intense stress and anxiety.

If you're the parent of a child who you think might be LGBTQ, but who hasn't come out to you, you in turn might worry about what your role should be. What effect will your response have on your child's mental health and well-being? What does your child need to hear?

"The most important thing is just being supportive," says Paul Mitrani, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Child Mind Institute. "When people feel loved and supported, they are more capable. They have greater resilience."

"The best possible scenario in my opinion," says Green, "is nothing changes - you're still the same person, people just know more about you now, being LGBTQ is just one aspect of your life. Being reaffirmed in knowing you are loved for who you are is powerful."

How to be supportive

Parents may have mixed feelings about finding that they have an LGBTQ child. This could be because they're worried about how the child will fare in their community - will they be bullied in school or discriminated against in the workplace? - or because they have religious reservations. But whatever your feelings are, Dr. Mitrani urges, you still want to have the same approach: "You want to err on the side of being empathetic and being supportive."

If a parent is very distressed about a child being LGBTQ, Dr. Mitrani urges them not to express those feelings to the child. Talking about it with a support group like PFLAG, someone in your church or congregation, or a therapist could be helpful for you and your child, too. You may have strong feelings, he adds, "but as a parent you always have to come back to see what's best for your child."

Having a parent that a child feels they can be honest with is important both to your child's well-being and to your relationship, in the short- and long-term.

With children, especially adolescents, it's crucial to keep communication open, Dr. Mitrani notes. "You want the message to be, 'I'm glad you told me,' and 'Help me understand what's going on,' as opposed to immediately shutting the communication down."

Open communication, in which parents listen without judgment, is a form of validation for the child, adds Lauren Latella, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. "If parents either minimize the importance of the child coming out, or jump right into problem solving," she says, "it can leave the child feeling undermined."

Above all, make sure your child knows that you love them and are there for them no matter what. Dr. Mitrani suggests language like: "I'm really glad that we can discuss this because we want to make sure that you're safe and that you're supported. And whatever decisions you need to make we want to be the best ones for you."

Keeping kids safe

As a parent you may be worried about how your child will be treated, at school and in settings where LGBTQ people are not welcome, and how they will handle hostility, if they encounter it. Dr. Mitrani suggests opening the conversation by exploring whether the child is concerned about not being accepted or being targeted for bullying, as opposed to saying, "This is going to be harder for you."

The child might say, "No, everybody already knows and they're supportive and the teachers are great." Or they might alert you to a lack of support.

"If they're in school, you need to understand what your school's policies are," says Dr. Mitrani. "If you get the sense that they won't be supportive of your child, you either need to make a stand and advocate for those supports or consider changing their school to someplace where they will be safe and protected."

When parents are worried about whether an LGBTQ child will be safe, Green notes the importance of support from parents in making children able to speak up. "Providing a supportive home life is critical. Your child feeling comfortable enough to share their safety concerns can make a difference."

Green, who is the Digital Giving Manager at the Trevor Project, which provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youth, adds that by talking openly about these issues, parents can help create a safer world for LGBTQ kids. "Being an ambassador for your child and for LGBTQ rights has an impact in the community. By being an advocate for your child and speaking with pride about your child's identity, you're working to make the world a better place for other young people."

Telling other family members

Coming out can be a huge relief for teens or young adults who are LGBTQ, but the process is often rocky and sometimes painful. Your child may have opened up to friends or co-workers who didn't respond well, or may be worried about how family members or other important people will react. Once your child seems ready to talk, check in with them about how they're feeling, and how you can be supportive. Start by asking questions and listening to their answers calmly. Your goal is to let them know that you are hearing what they need to share with you.

Something parents often struggle with is the knowledge that they are, if not the last to know, certainly not the first. Try not to be surprised, or offended, if you find that your child has been more candid with their friends, and even some other adults. The Trevor Project's LGBTQ Youth Mental Health Study found that most respondents disclose their sexual orientation and gender identity to friends first, then trusted adults, who may not always be their parents. Less than half were out to an adult at school. Green notes several reasons why they might be reluctant to tell parents:

Unlike friends, parents have control over aspects of young people's lives, including housing and financial support, which can be withdrawn.

Parent's expectations of who they should/could be growing up can create a lot of pressure for children. Coming out can put the child at risk of feeling they have disappointed their parents.

Peers can have a like-minded approach to sexual orientation and gender identity, making them more likely to be accepting and supportive of the LGBTQ community.

When it comes to telling others in the family that a child is LGBTQ, it's recommended that you let the child take the lead. "Telling the rest of the family is up to the person who is coming out," says Green. "They'll either have a solid understanding of how they want to proceed or they may not know - just have an open conversation with them and be honest, clear and supportive to help them plan how to move forward. Being respectful of their wishes is a very important element to this conversation."

Another concern parents express is the worry that their child's announcement of their sexual orientation may be influenced by trends in their peer group.

"Adolescence, when most kids tend to come out, is a time of identity formation," says Dr. Mitrani. "Kids experiment with different things, whether it's hairstyles or clothing or music, and they're trying to find themselves." Sexual orientation and gender identity may be one of those things. But while that's true," he adds, "my experience is that it's not in the majority of the cases."

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"I was worried about my parents not accepting me for who I am," recalls Katie Green, who identifies as queer and came out to her family in her early twenties. "I was worried they would stop loving me."

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How to encourage dialogue between parent and LGBTQ+ child, become involved in the child's school, and other ways to maintain a healthy relationship.

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LGBTQ youth face challenges that parents feel unprepared to tackle. To help, pediatricians Renata Sanders and Errol Fields share ways to support your kid.

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Three strategies that teachers can use to create a more inclusive and safe-space classroom for LGBTQ+ children.

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Three strategies elementary school teachers can use to foster a sense of inclusion for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer students.

Jing Jing Tsong / theiSpot

"Paul, do you have a girlfriend?" Parker asked me.

"I don't," I replied succinctly, hoping to avoid the topic altogether.

"Why?" she queried.

"Because I don't want one," I said.

"Why?" she asked again, smiling up at me.

It was clear I wasn't getting out of this one. This first grader had questions-and would demand answers.

"Because I have a boyfriend," I finally exhaled.

"Oh, that's weird," she said.

"I understand. Sometimes when things are different, they seem a little weird," I replied. "Why do you think it's weird?"

"Well, I just don't like when people make fun of you. I feel bad for you."

In these few minutes, it seemed as though my heart was broken and put back together all at once.

We adults often think of sexuality and gender as things that are out of reach for students-especially our youngest ones. We project our discomfort on them, assuming that discussing sexuality, biological sex, or gender is inappropriate for young students. But it's clear from conversations like the one I had with Parker that children come into our classrooms with a wealth of knowledge.

One of our jobs as educators is to welcome students' perspectives into the classroom. But we can also dismantle ways of thinking that reinforce the gender dichotomy and heteronormativity, and we must create safe spaces for children to explore their identities and empathize with those who are different from them.

In 2017, the CDC estimated that 8 percent of high school students identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer (LGBTQ). Kevin Jennings, founder of the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network, estimates that one in 10 educators in the United States identifies as LGBTQ. These data provide the moral imperative for showing pride in the classroom-for finding ways to include the LGBTQ community in our curriculum. The problem is that most teachers don't know where to start, even in spaces where the LGBTQ community is already welcomed and visible.

3 Ways to Create an LGBTQ-Inclusive Classroom

1. Include LGBTQ children's literature in your class library: As educators, we should provide both windows and mirrors in our curriculum, ensuring that our book selection represents a diverse array of people and identities. This includes the LGBTQ community. While you may not know it yet-especially if you teach young children-there are students who will identify as LGBTQ at some point in their lives. Our job is to provide a safe space and role models for them as they age.

This also means that we must represent the intersectionality that exists in the LGBTQ community, sharing stories of different genders, ethnicities, races, religions, and classes.

Here are a few of my book recommendations, which are mostly for grades K to 5:

All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold and Suzanne Kaufman

Julián Is a Mermaid by Jessica Love

Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag by Rob Sanders

Queer Heroes: Meet 52 LGBTQ Heroes From the Past and Present by Arabelle Sicardi

Pink Is for Boys by Robb Pearlman

A Family Is a Family Is a Family by Sara O'Leary

George by Alex Gino

The Boy and the Bindi by Vivek Shraya

2. Rethink practices that reinforce the gender dichotomy: Gender is constructed through intergenerational experiences and social norms. Once we're aware of this, we can deconstruct the gender dichotomy and rebuild it as a fluid spectrum.

There are some simple ways to do this. Start saying, "Good morning, everyone!" instead of, "Good morning, boys and girls!" Have critical conversations with your kids about the many assumptions we make based on gender, providing counterexamples, like boys who like to sing or girls who play sports.

I've even written gender out of the stories I write with my class. In one instance, I was writing a fairy tale adaptation of Cinderella, modeling for my class.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" one student queried.

"Maybe we don't need to assign our character a gender," I replied, using the pronoun their deliberately throughout.

3. Capitalize on teachable moments: My experience with Parker didn't happen because I planned it. It happened because Parker wanted to know me better-she wanted to find out about a part of my personal life. Over the course of her rather short life, Parker had learned that lots of adults have special people in their lives, and when those people aren't husbands or wives, they are often boyfriends or girlfriends. To her, it seemed only natural to ask.

I could have shied away from the conversation, as I intended to do at the outset. In hindsight, I'm glad I took the teachable moment by the horns.

If you're an LGBTQ educator like me, embracing these moments allows us to share a piece of ourselves that can provide either a window or a mirror into a whole set of stories to which most of our children have not been exposed. If you're not, such moments provide you an opportunity to demonstrate how to be an ally for the LGBTQ community.

It's scary, I know. For so many of us, this is uncharted territory. But to ignore these moments would be to operate in opposition to justice. To quiet students' voices would mean crushing autonomy, courage, and vulnerability. And as educators, we cannot and must not do that.

We have a responsibility, you see. And as we enter into Pride Month, I hope it's one that you don't take lightly.

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Supporting LGBTQ Students in Elementary School

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Three strategies elementary school teachers can use to foster a sense of inclusion for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer students. Jing Jing Tsong / theiSpot "Paul, do you have a girlfriend?" Parker asked me. "I don't," I replied succinctly, hoping to avoid the topic altogether. "Why?" she queried.

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How teachers can support their LGBTQ+ students in their classrooms, as well as the whole school itself. Also includes professional development tips.

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During the past school year, two different people told me they decided to become teachers in part because they hoped to support LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning) students. The odds are that all classrooms include LGBTQ students, although many aren't yet comfortable being open about their sexualities or gender identities.

It's important for schools to be welcoming places for all students. After all, as the American Federation of Teachers (AFT) notes, "public schools often lead the way for the broader society in modeling inclusiveness and pluralism." Here are some steps teachers can take to ensure LGBTQ students feel safe, welcome, and included in their classrooms.

1. Post Safe Space Signs

You can designate your classroom a "safe zone" through stickers or posters on your classroom door. This lets students know that you're LGBTQ-friendly, and are willing to challenge anti-LGBTQ language or harassment. In addition, the AFT states that safe zone stickers let students know that teachers, counselors, and administrators are "open to discussion of LGBTQ issues in the context of classwork or just in conversation."
Further reading: New Types of Extracurricular Activities: The Culture Club
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network's (GLSEN) biennial National School Climate Survey revealed that "the safe space campaign, like enumerated antibullying policies, makes a tremendous difference in LGBTQ students' perceptions that their schools are safe and that their teachers are adults they can trust." My students have told me that seeing the sticker on my door just makes them feel better. Teaching Tolerance notes that a safe zone sign posted in your classroom or office "signals to LGBTQ youth that you've got their backs."

2. Start an LGBTQ Organization at Your School

The AFT points out that school-based extracurricular groups have the "potential to shape school climate, address inequality, and affect student performance." LGBTQ student organizations show great promise in "reducing discrimination against LGBTQ students, promoting their well-being, and fostering safe and affirming school environments." These groups provide support for LGBTQ students, and they can help create awareness in schools and help to counteract discrimination. They can also ensure that school policies and curriculum are inclusive. Offering to start such a group at your school or becoming an advisor for an existing one can help ensure that students have positive experiences at school.

3. Stand Up Against Homophobia

GLSEN reports that research has shown "LGBTQ youth face bullying at significantly higher rates than their peers, and the consequences, such as increased rates of suicide, can be heartbreaking."

Educators can help change that. GLSEN provides lesson plans on bullying, bias, and diversity that teachers can use to help educate their students. Students of all ages sometimes use homophobic words or expressions in the classroom. It's important for teachers to let students know that such speech is unacceptable. Teaching Tolerance provides an activity guide to help teachers handle remarks like this in the classroom.

4. Integrate LGBTQ Topics into the Curriculum

The Human Rights Campaign suggests that teachers integrate LGBTQ people and topics into the classroom. When assigning topics for science, history, and art, be sure to include LGBTQ people like Harvey Milk (politician) or Alan Turing (computer scientist). GLSEN also provides an LGBTQ-inclusive curriculum so that students can see themselves in their lessons, and so all students can have an authentic understanding of the world around them.

5. Pursue Professional Development

Workshops and professional development with experts can help to ensure that your school is inclusive, safe, and affirming for LGBTQ youth. Effective professional development can help to educate staff on how to handle harassment and bullying, and it can provide a place to share resources and best practices to ensure safe and respectful schools.
Further reading: Creating an Engaged and Positive Classroom Culture
Schools should be a safe and welcoming place for all students. These steps provide a great starting point for ensuring LGBTQ students are well-supported in schools so that their experiences are happy, healthy, and educational.

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5 Things You Can Do to Support Your LGBTQ Students

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During the past school year, two different people told me they decided to become teachers in part because they hoped to support LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning) students. The odds are that all classrooms include LGBTQ students, although many aren't yet comfortable being open about their sexualities or gender identities.