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inourplace | Solihull Approach – Online courses for emotional health and wellbeing.

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Healthier ways to argue: When you need to rock the boat – inourplace | Solihull Approach

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Blog Healthier ways to argue: When you need to rock the boat Physical and emotional health 14 May 2025 Dr Rebecca Johnson Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Dr Rebecca Johnson, shares some thoughts about having difficult conversations. When two people live together, they must navigate their individual needs on the back of different histories, expectations and family

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When we argue with our partner or ex-partner, we can get caught up in the heat of the moment. At times like these, it's difficult to find a way forward.

We want to help you see things differently, and do things differently.

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When we argue with our partner or ex-partner, we can get caught up in the heat of the moment. At times like these, it’s difficult to find a way forward.

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What is a healthy relationship? - BBC Bitesize

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Learn about what makes a healthy relationship.

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The 'in the middle' bot is a chatbot that helps you understand how your child sees your relationship. With a small amount of information and zero judgement, you can learn how your child might be feeling.

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This free toolkit is here to help you make co-parenting from separate homes work smoothly, whether you're just beginning or looking to find a better balance together.

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inourplace | Solihull Approach - Online courses for emotional health and wellbeing.

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Positive co-parenting: Handling conflict when you're no longer with your children's other parent - inourplace | Solihull Approach

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Blog Positive co-parenting: Handling conflict when you're no longer with your children's other parent Physical and emotional health 14 May 2025 Dr Hazel Douglas MBE Even if you're no longer together, positive co-parenting is important for children and their longer-term wellbeing.

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3. Set and respect boundaries

Setting boundaries is not only about what you don't want or like in your relationships, but also about letting the people around you know what you appreciate.

Think about and let others know where your boundaries are; respecting your time alone for example.

Doing this can take the pressure off your relationship to commit to anything unrealistic.

4. Talk and Listen

All relationships have disagreements and that's ok. what matters is how you talk and listen to one another.

Listen to understand, rather than listening to respond.

Don't be afraid to express your emotions or vulnerabilities with people you trust.

5. Let go of control

A lot of life is about how we react to our experiences and encounters. Knowing that you can only really control what you do and not what anyone else does will save you time and stress.

6. Reflect and learn

If you have a healthy way of expressing your feelings, you're able to react to other people's in a healthy way. Being angry with someone often comes from a place of feeling hurt and upset. if you can recognise that, you can communicate it, and build better relationships with others.

Reflect on the relationships that work best in your life, what qualities do these relationships have, and how can you bring these qualities into other relationships?

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Top tips on building and maintaining healthy relationships

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Building and maintaining healthy relationships is an important part of looking after our mental health. Here are 6 top tips to support you with yours.

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Maintaining healthy relationships and mental wellbeing

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Get relationship advice including on managing anxiety in relationships, dealing with a breakup and conflict. Find out how to build resilience in relationships.

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Most of us disagree at times in our relationships - whether this is related to who does the washing up, who spends the most money or even over the remote control for the TV! Not all conflict is damaging, however it's important to remember that the way it is displayed, the amount of time it happens and how this conflict is dealt with can all have a negative impact on children.

A key point is that parental conflict is very different to domestic abuse . No-one should ever make you feel threatened or unsafe; if this is the case there are many organisations and services that are there to support you. Follow the to find out more, or call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free and confidential advice, 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.

provides a range of resources you can access and download, as well as some great top tips to try at home together!

Whilst bringing a new person into the world brings much happiness and excitement, this may also create challenges for relationships. Baby's addition to the family may mean changes to routine, to work, to friends, to income and so much more! The have guides for families with new additions that provide tips and tricks for navigating this time.

Things such as debt or overspending, a job loss, perhaps a drop in working hours which affects income, or buying a house. These can all lead to concerns about not being able to buy basic necessities or pay the rent or bills. The has advice and guidance on financial matters.

Housing where family members are unable to have their own space can be very challenging. In addition, issues around poor living conditions can also cause worry and stress. Most Local Authorities have a housing department who can offer support and advice with regards to housing options and concerns. The can provide further information.

Long term or life limiting illnesses, a new illness or poor mental health can cause worry and anxiety for those involved, and place a huge amount of stress on relationships as people try to navigate their own way through these challenges. is a useful website with information and support.

Other resources

See it Differently have compiled clips showing different family conflict scenarios and how they can be handled more effectively.

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Most of us disagree at times in our relationships - whether this is related to who does the washing up, who spends the most money or even over the remote control for the TV!

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Do conversations with you and your partner or co-parent often turn into arguments? Do you wonder how your child is coping? Are you worried about the impact that the conflict is having on your family?

The 'in the middle' Bot is a chatbot that's trained on how your child experiences your relationship. With a small amount of information and zero judgement from us, you can get insight into how your child might be feeling.

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Relate's tools are here to help you handle problems with your partner or co-parent.

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Support for Parents from Action For Children

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How to manage arguments with your partner

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It’s normal to disagree with your partner from time to time. But if you’re having lots of difficult conversations, think about how you manage these.

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Relationships Matter – Support for relationships

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We know all families argue but we all want to help families get along better and create positive relationships for parents and their children.

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The 'in the middle' bot is a chatbot that helps you understand how your child sees your relationship. With a small amount of information and zero judgement, you can learn how your child might be feeling.

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This free toolkit is here to help you make co-parenting from separate homes work smoothly, whether you're just beginning or looking to find a better balance together.

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Family can be there for you through the good and bad times. You might love spending time with them and have great memories of growing up. They can also be a huge support for your mental health. Family can be there to listen when you need to talk, help you understand your thoughts and what support you need, or spend time with you so that you don't feel alone.

But we know that every family is different. Things with you and your family may not always be easy or straightforward. And not getting along with them can make life tough. But whatever is going on between you and your family, we have information and advice that can help.

Our Activists, and other young people like you, share their tips on how you can open up to someone about your mental health.

For more tips and advice on reaching out for help, take a look at our guide.

Across the world, people from every country, culture, and religion, can experience the most positive and helpful support with their mental health. Equally, no matter what background, some people will experience barriers opening up to their family, which can negatively impact their mental health, and their ability to talk about it.

Talking to your family about your mental health might be particularly difficult for a number of reasons, such as:

worries about burdening other people with your problems

fear of judgement

your family members not having much awareness about mental health issues, or having a different understanding of them

having to deal with cultural stigma around mental health

different communication styles, or struggling to find the right words if you're not having the conversation in English

worries that you will be treated differently, or even blamed for what you're going through

having a lack of shared experience and things in common with your family

finding a good time if your family members are busy

Whatever the barrier you are facing, you are not alone. While it can be really helpful to speak to your family about what you're going through, there are other people who can support you if that feels too difficult right now. Instead you could try speaking to a friend or a trusted adult, like a teacher, a lecturer or a local faith leader. You could also reach out to a doctor or other health professional. They might be able to help you think of what to say to your family, or even be there when you speak to your family for moral support.

See the bottom of this page for helplines and organisations that you can reach out to for confidential support.

Whether you're able to speak to your family about what you're going through or not, your feelings are valid and you deserve support.

We know that sometimes, it can feel like your family don't understand what you're going through or how you're feeling, or that they don't accept it. This might be particularly difficult if you have opened up to your family about something you're going through and they haven't reacted in the way you expected or hoped. This can make you feel like nobody understands you or what you're going through. But if this happens, remember it's not your fault. It's likely your family need a bit of time - they might not have realised how you're feeling and it might have been a shock to them.

After some time, if you feel ready to talk about it with them again, you may find they are also more open to discussion and have questions to help them understand how you are feeling.

If your family are not supportive, or if they are not willing to listen to how you are feeling, there are other people that can help you, like your friends, helpline services or a teacher. It may not always be the first person you speak to, but there will be someone who will listen. See the bottom of this page for a list of helpline services that you can use free of charge.

We know that there can be times that are really difficult with family - no family is perfect and it's common for families to have their ups and downs. There are lots of different reasons why you might be struggling with family. It could be things like:

Our Activists share what can help you cope during this difficult time:

I started to worry that the people I loved the most would also leave my side. I really struggled to sleep as my anxious thoughts would keep me up at night.

If you are finding it tough to get along with your family, it can make you feel lonely, anxious, overwhelmed, angry or misunderstood. If you feel like this, that's okay. No two families are the same, but every family will have its differences or difficulties - this is completely normal.

Here are some things you can do if you're struggling with family:

Sometimes, friends can end up feeling like your chosen family. They can be the ones who support you when you're struggling, or the ones who you feel most comfortable around.

If you are struggling with your family, remember there will always be someone to support and help you.

See the bottom of this page for helplines and organisations that you can reach out to for confidential support.

Our Activists share how they have coped when struggling with family.

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Family | Mental Health Advice For Young People

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Family can be there for you through the good and bad times. You might love spending time with them and have great memories of growing up. They can also be a huge support for your mental health.

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Kooth is your online mental wellbeing community. Access free, safe and anonymous

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Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse | The Gottman Institute: Relationship Behaviors that Lead to Failure

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Empowering Families: Children thrive when they maintain positive relationships with both parents, even after separation or divorce.

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Togetherness has some easy to follow learning around relationships and wellbeing. You can access these for free using the code QUADRANT to sign up.