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Discover the epic tale of the Peloponnesian War! Dive into the clash of ancient titans, Athens and Sparta, as they battled for supremacy in ancient Greece. Explore the intriguing role of the Achaemenid Empire in this historic conflict and its impact on the Peloponnesian League and Delian League. Unearth the dramatic events and consequences that shaped the destiny of a civilization.

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The Full History of the Peloponnesian War - Athens vs Sparta

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The great conflict that we know today as the Greco-Persian Wars between a few independent city-states of ancient Greece and mighty Achaemenid Persian Empire is, one of the most fascinating and consequential in all of history. More than just battles for territory and glory - they were clashes of culture, ideology, and power between East and West. The war saw legendary figures such as Leonides, The Great King Xerxes, Themistocles, Darius the Great, Miltiades, Mardonius, Artemisia, Kleomenes, and countless others in action.

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The great conflict that we know today as the Greco-Persian Wars between a few independent city-states of ancient Greece and mighty Achaemenid Persian Empire is, in my opinion, one of the most fascinating and consequential in all of history.  More than just battles for territory and glory - they were clashes of culture, ideology, and power between East and West. The war saw legendary figures such as Leonides, The Great King Xerxes, Themistocles, Darius the Great, Miltiades, Mardonius, Artemisia, Kleomenes, and countless others in action.  Since most accounts of the conflict available to us come from Greek and Roman historians and writers of antiquity such as Herodotus, Plutarch, Diodorus Siculus, Aeschylus, the traveler Pausanias, Justin and others, our modern perspective is often shaped by their portrayal of a struggle between the freedom-loving Greeks and the tyrannical rulers of Achaemenid Persia—a narrative further popularized by films like 300.  However, as we will explore, the rea

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Activity 1:Test your understanding of book one of the Aeneid 

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Activity 1:Test your understanding of book one of the Aeneid 

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Read the first book of the Aeneid to meet Aeneas and test your knowledge.

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OCR AS and A Level Classical Civilisation - World of Hero_Aeneid_Aenea

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Listen to the story of a crucial 40 days in the 10-year battle for Troy, framed by Achilles' anger first at his leader Agamenmon and then at his enemy Hector. Make a story board to explain what happened.

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Melvyn Bragg and guests discuss the epic poem on the wrath of Achilles in the Trojan War.

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Read 30 of the most famous stories from the Greek Mythology and write your own Greek Myth.

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30 of the Most Famous Tales from Greek Mythology

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A list of the 30 most famous and beloved stories from Greek mythology

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Have a go at reading this extract from Hesiod's Theogony. How is the Greek creation story different from the one in the Bible and the Quran?

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Read through the cards to learn about the symbols and responsibilities of different gods, and answer the following questions:

1.What can we learn about Greek society from the Greek Gods?

2.Why might people be scared not to worship the Gods?

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Have a go at reading Aristophanes' Lysistrata. What have you learnt about the Greek Religion from this play?

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"LYSISTRATA"

Written in 411BCE

'Aristophanes' - "Greek Dramas" (p355, 1900): Internet Archive Book Images

Translated by George Theodoridis © Copyright 2000, all rights reserved - Bacchicstage

This work may be freely reproduced, stored and transmitted, electronically or otherwise, for any NON-COMMERCIAL purpose. For use by any theatrical, educational or cinematic organisation, however, including a non-commercial one, permission must be sought.

Under no circumstances should any of this work be used as part of a collage, which includes the work of other writers or translators.

✯

Dramatis Personae

Women

Lysistrata

Stratyllis (Women's leader)

Corinthian whore

Skythian - Female archer/policewoman (silent)

Other members of Stratyllis' group

✯

Men

Magistrate

Polycharides

Athenian Delegate 2

Manes(silent)

Cinesias baby

Spartan Herald

Spartan Delegate 1

Spartan Delegate 2

Philourgos

Strynidoros

4 Scythian Archers/policemen (silent)

Various vagrants (silent)

Other members of Drakis group (silent)

✯

ACT 1

Scene 1

Before the curtain is raised or on a dimly lit stage where only shadows are visible, stands the chorus of women.

Sudden introduction of, violent, disturbing, martial tambourines.

Fade out: tambourines

Fade in: passionate pleas by a mix of women's voices, and cries of owls.

Women's voices They are standing at profile to the audience so that the shadows of their pleading hands can be accentuated.

Cry, all you mothers! Cry for your Adonis! Cry!

Cry! Adonis! Lament the death of Adonis! Cry,

cry mothers! Your Adonis is gone! Adonis is gone

for ever! Beautiful to all eyes, Adonis is gone!

Lament his death, mothers of sons!

Tits and clits! Tits and clits! That's what all this is about! That's all they are ever after!

That and war!

Blood and gore!

Raise curtains or turn on appropriate stage lights.

Dawn. A public place in Athens at the foot of the acropolis, the entrance of which is a large gate at the centre of the stage. Gate and Parthenon are prominent. This is where the whole play takes place. The walls on the inside and on either side of the gate have parapets where actors will appear at various times. Lysistrata is holding an "invitation" which she waves about furiously as she paces back and forth. An archer (female police woman) guides two drunken derelicts through left to right.

FX: Fade out sound of owls. Pause.

Lysistrata To the audience

If my invitation was for one of those orgies,held for Little Dick or High Dick or Low Clit, you wouldn't be able to get through all the bum- and drum-beaters clogging the streets.But for this, no! Oh, no! Not a bloody woman in sight! Not one of them! Pause.Sees Caloniki in the distance, SL

Ah, except for my neighbour! Thank goodness... Hi, Caloniki!

Enter Caloniki

Caloniki Hi to you too, Lysistrata! Oh, but look at you, darling! Such frowns, such arrows for eyebrows! Not good for you babe. They're so horribly ugly!

Lysistrata I'm fuming, Caloniki! I'm boiling inside. Damned women! Why on earth do men think we're smart and cunning and capable of anything and everything?

Caloniki Because we are, darling, we definitely are!

Lysistrata But you call them to a meeting, to a proper meeting, to discuss something of some importance -none of that obscene and trivial stuff they're always on about- and where are they? Deaf and asleep!

Caloniki But they have heard you, darling. They have. It's just that... you know how it is. A woman's exit from her abode is very, very difficult! Some have to go down on their husband, others have to raise their slave, others still, to put the baby to sleep, another still has to wash it, feed it, clean its poop...

Lysistrata There are far more important things to worry about than all that stuff, Caloniki! 20

Caloniki Well? What is it, darling? What is this thing that's so important, you had to bring together every woman in Greece? Is it such a big thing?

Lysistrata Huge.

Caloniki Oh? And thick?

Lysistrata O, it's thick, all right!

Caloniki: Excited at a misconstrued prospect

Well then, where on earth are they all?

Lysistrata Realises Caloniki is on the wrong prospect

No, no, it's not what you're thinking of, my dear. If it had been that, they'd all be well and truly here by now. No, it's something else. Something that's bothered me for a long time now. Believe me, I've lost a great deal of sleep, tossing this one over.

Caloniki Ah, so, it's a very delicate little thingy, then, this thing you've been tossing over?

Lysistrata I'll tell you how delicate a thing it is, Caloniki! I've discovered that the salvation of the whole of Greece depends upon us, upon our tits and clits! That's how delicate a thing it is! Tits and clits!

That's what it's all about!

Caloniki Upon our tits and clits? She lifts first one tit then the other as if to balance them

A delicate little thingy indeed! What a precarious balancing act!

Lysistrata All these awful goings on in our city, Caloniki! Just think! We'll be rid of them all! All of them... Spartans, the lot!

Caloniki Oh, yes, of course! Out with the Spartan bastards!

Lysistrata And of all the Boetians, too.

Caloniki Ah, the Boetians! Well, the Boetians themselves, yes; their delicious eels, though, Lysistrata, absolutely not!

Lysistrata As for Athens, my tongue won't utter a thing but you get my meaning... If all the women would gather here, Caloniki, from Boetia, from Sparta, all of them, believe me - all of us, together, we can save Greece!

Caloniki Us? But my dear, what have we women ever done that's intelligent or that requires any skill? We all just sit around on our bums all day long, looking pretty, begemmed, beflowered and plastered with make-up, naked under our see-through saffron gowns and wearing our cute little "fuck-me-please" slippers!

Lysistrata Exactly! That's exactly the stuff by which I'm planning to save Greece, darling! With the scents and the make-up and the flowers and those cute little "fuck-me-please-I'm-cute" slippers and the dainty little see-through gowns!

Caloniki What? What on earth could you achieve with that stuff?

Lysistrata Peace, my dear! Peace among men! No longer will a man thrust his spear against another man!

Caloniki Is that right? Well then, if that's the case I'm off to powder my nose right now...

Lysistrata Nor will he raise a shield in front of him...

Caloniki Mmm... and to put on my see-through...

Lysistrata Nor will he ever carry a sword...

Caloniki Ohhhh! And my cute little "fuck-me-please" slippers...

Lysistrata So! Shouldn't all these women have been here by now?

Caloniki Definitely. They should all have flown right over! 55

Lysistrata Yea, well, what do you expect? Damned Athenian women! Always late! Late for everything. Damn it! Not even those from the shore!

Caloniki Yet I do know that they have hopped off their cunts early this morning and they're on their way, they're... coming right now, I'm sure!

Lysistrata Grrr! Not even those I thought showed some real interest in this! They're not here yet, either... God, not even the Acharnians!

Caloniki But, darling, even Theagenes' wife is coming. I saw the superstitious twit visiting Hecate's temple before setting off... Aha! Here they all are! I told you! They're coming, Lysistrata, all of them! (Pinches her nose) Phew! Where on earth are they all from?

Lysistrata Bog Burrow! Twenty Ks south of Thebes!

Caloniki Phew! Well, then, let's not stir them up any more than we have to, shall we? Pooooh!

Enter Myrrhini. She's wearing a beautiful gown with which she is very happy and with which is often preoccupied by displaying admiringly at every occasion; so much so that her words in line 114 have some effect.

Myrrhini We're not too late, are we Lysistrata? Well, what's up, darling? Speak up, darling! 69

Lysistrata Everyone's heard exactly what it's all about, Myrrhini! I'm not impressed with you, at all!

Myrrhini But it took me ages to find my knickers in the dark, Lysistrata. Anyway, what's up? What's going on? Tell us, now that we're all here.

Lysistrata No, not yet. Let's wait a little longer for the Boetian and Spartan women to arrive.

Myrrhini True... she looks around impatiently until... ah, here's Lampito!

Lysistrata: Rushes over to Lampito and, impressed by her body, begins to fondle it excitedly, lasciviously.

Hello Lampito! Oh! Oh, my darling Spartan! How positively fructiferous is your beauty. What a colour what a vigorous, horny body! Darling, I think you could strangle a bull with this body!

Lampito Yeah, I think I could, too. I exercise regularly. I mean very regularly and I go through every bit of me, every bit of me - including my bumhole!

Lysistrata Mmm! Your titties, too!

Lampito Hey! Why are you groping me like that... like some sacrificial cow?

Lysistrata stops the groping and turns her attention to the new woman on the stage

Lysistrata Ah! And this one? Who is this young beauty, then?

Lampito That's the delegate sent to you from Boetia. By the name of Ismenia.

Lysistrata Prodding similarly

Boetia, yes! Points at Ismenia's pudendum. Boetia of the beautiful meadows! How positively gorgeous your meadow looks, Lampito!

Caloniki Yea, with elegant little itchy-bitchy curly whirly penny royals growing so neatly and tightly all around that lovely meadow!

Enter Corinthian whore.

Lysistrata And this other child?

Lampito Ah, yes! Now, that there, that's pure Corinthian whore meat, that one! The real stuff! 90

All others whisper excitedly to each other the words, "whore", "from Corinth" and "Corinth has the best whores!"

Lysistrata Mmmm, yes, pure, indeed! Both front and back!

Lampito So, then! Who's gathered this fleet of flesh here?

Lysistrata I did.

Lampito Aha? Why? Name your passion, girl!

Myrrhini Yes, darling, tell us what's so important.

Lysistrata I will, I will, but first: let me ask you all one question.

Myrrhini Ask away.

Lysistrata Tell me, please, all of you: Do you not miss your husband's pricks? Your sons' father? I mean while he's away at war? I know very well that all of you have your husband away at the moment. Not one of them is here with you. Isn't that so? 100

Caloniki Mine, in fact, the poor bugger, has been in Thrace for the last five months. Guarding that idiot of a general, Eucrates.

Myrrhini And mine, seven months at Pylos.

Lampito And if mine ever manages to steal away for a quickie, they rush over, nab him by the handle and quickly whisk him away back to the front!

Lysistrata And so, girls, when fucking time comes... not the faintest whiff of it anywhere, right? From the time those Milesians betrayed us, we can't even find our eight-fingered leather dildos. At least they'd serve as a sort of flesh-replacement for our poor cunts...

So, then! Would you like me to find some mechanism by which we could end this war?

Myrrhini If this were truly possible, Lysistrata, darling, I'd start the celebratory drinks right now... Even if it meant I'd have to sell this gorgeous gown to buy the wine.

Caloniki Me too! Even if... even if I'm torn in two like a fish on the grill and have half of me thrown away!

Lampito And me... I'd climb all the way up to the tip of Taygetus to be able to see our beloved Peace.

Lysistrata Well, in that case, I'll tell you now what I've discovered because I don't think I can hide it any longer. Now! If we women really want our men to make peace, then we must... abstain!

Myrrhini Huh? From what? Please explain?

Lysistrata: Still reluctant to make the revelation

Ummmm... From something... Will you do it?

Myrrhini Sure! Even if it means our death, but what do we have to do?

Corinthian whore begins to cry -it's her living. The others begin to walk away. Distressed now as she sees that the others don't agree with her.

Hey, what's up? Where are you off to? What's with the frowns and the sad looks? How pale you all look suddenly! What's with the tears? Will you do as we said? Talk to me! What's your decision?

Myrrhini Me? I... I just can't do it, Lysistrata. Not me. I... Let the war drag on, Lysistrata!

Caloniki Yea, me too, Lysistrata. Let the war go on...

Lysistrata Even you, Caloniki! You were just talking about being a fish cut in two, half of it tossed away!

Caloniki Anything else, Lysistrata. We'll do anything else you want us to do but... well, better in the fire than out of the bed. Better with the fire than without the cock! That can never do, darling! 130

Lysistrata And you, Lampito? What do you say?

Lampito Better in the fire than out of the bed.

Lysistrata What a lot of bum-torn sluts each and every single one of our sex is! The tragedians are right about us then! Screwing above all else! No regard for the consequences! Turns to Lampito, imploring her. But you, my darling Spartan, you and I, Lampito, just the two of us could still save the matter. Come on, vote with me!

Lampito Thinks deeply, paces back and forth, agonises over the question.

It's true, damn it! It's a harsh and difficult thing for a woman to go to sleep, alone. Without a prick, I mean. Yet... yet... yet, we must! We must have peace!

Lysistrata Exuberant

Oh, true Spartan! You're the only real woman here!

Caloniki But if we did go on strike, if -God forbid!- if we did do as you said... will this really give us Peace?

Lysistrata Absolutely! Look! All we have to do is we simply stay indoors, put our luscious make-up on, naked beneath our flimsy little blouses, our curlies thoroughly coiffured and plucked, and we just sit and wait for our man. Soldier-hubby comes in, sees us and immediately stands at attention!

Solid, stiff and horny!

He's torn to shreds with lust. But we move back! We simply don't go to bed with him. I can assure you, darlings, Peace will be signed before you can say, "come again?"

Lampito Just like Menelaos and Helen. Helen flashes her tits at him once and our boy throws his sword away for ever! Ha, ha, ha! He was going to kill her only a second before that - for what she'd done to Greece!

Caloniki But what if the men go on strike, too and we get horny instead?

Lysistrata Well, then darlings, we are all well acquainted with Pherecrates, for goodness' sake, aren't we? We do as he did: beat the beaten bitch! In other words, wank!

Caloniki Nah! Mimicking others is crap... What if they drag us into the bedroom?

Lysistrata Take a tight grip of your flaps, darling!

Caloniki What if they beat us then?

Lysistrata Well... all right, we give in to them, then but we make it hard for them, my dears: we cross our legs or something, because it's no fun for them if they have to work hard for it. They'll quickly give up. A man just won't enjoy himself if the woman won't help in the process.

Myrrhini Right! Well, then. If you two agree, then we agree also. We are with you Lysistrata!

Lampito Yes! All right then. But we, Spartan women, we will be able to do this, to persuade our husbands to bring about a good and honourable peace straight away; but what about all these war-ongering Athenian pricks? Who'll straighten them out? 168

Lysistrata Don't you worry about them, Lampito, darling, we'll see to them!

Lampito Not very likely. Not while they've got all those ships in the sea and all that loot locked up in there indicating the Acropolis Inside the temple of Athena!

Lysistrata Nah! We've thought of that, too, Lampito. No problem. Today, we'll take over the Acropolis! While we're all here getting all this prick-protest organised, the older women will be going up there, under the pretence of conducting rituals and sacrifices and, as soon as they get inside, they'll seize the place! Take it over!

A Skythian policewoman, armed to the teeth (helmet, bow, arrows, shield, sword, knife) is walking by. She sees the group in a tightly knit gathering and stops to examine suspiciously.

Lampito Oh, ho! Well then! That's great! A very well thought-out plan, Lysistrata! Very thorough, indeed! Well done, girl! 180

Lysistrata Thank you, Lampito. Right, then! Now quickly, let's take a good, strong, inexorable,unbreakable, no-loopholes oath!

Lampito Give us the words and deeds and we'll do it, Lysistrata!

Lysistrata Good, now... Sees the Skythian policewoman

Hey, you! Cop woman! Yes, you! What are you leering at? Bring me that shield of yours here! The policewoman obeys dumbly

Put it right here! Now turn it upside down.

The policewoman obeys again

Now, someone bring me some entrails!

The policewoman likes all this and from now on becomes one with the group

Caloniki Entrails? Entrails, Lysistrata? What sort of an oath do you want us to take, for goodness' sake?

Lysistrata What sort? The sort you perform upon a shield, like the one Aischylus mentions somewhere, you know... where the soldiers kill a sheep and...

Lysistrata! We can't swear an oath for Peace by spilling blood on a shield!

Lysistrata Well? What sort of an oath do you all want, then?

Caloniki I know! Let's grab a white horse from somewhere, kill it and get its sacred little bits! The horsey's bits, I mean. How's that?

Lysistrata She's shocked

What white horse, Caloniki? What little bits? What's in that head of yours?

Caloniki Well what do we swear upon then?

Myrrhini I'll tell you what I think, if you like: Let's sacrifice a wine jug, instead. Get a huge black cup, put it on the ground here, then get a jug of that lovely wine from Thasos, break it open and swear to the cup that... that we won't pollute it by adding water to it!

Lampito Yes! Now that's what I call an impressive oath!

Lysistrata So, let's bring the bowl and the wine skin then!

The Skythian archer runs off enthusiastically and a moment later returns with the bowl and wine jug. Lysistrata, impressed at the Skythian's speed, efficiency and willingness to join her rebellious group, smiles at her, takes the jug and lifts it in the air. Caloniki lifts the bowl admiringly.

Caloniki Ooooh! My darlings, look! What a lovely bowl! One gets horny just by touching it! 200

Lysistrata Caloniki! Now place the bowl down and all of you place your hand on my jug! They all obey. Lysistrata takes on the serious demeanour of an earnest prayer

Goddess Persuasion, and you, too, bowl, accept this, our offering with grace.

She pours the wine into the bowl.

Caloniki What sparkling blood! And how well it decants!

Lampito And how sweet is its aroma!

Myrrhini Let me be the first to take the oath!

No! Not unless we draw a lot and your name is drawn first!

Lysistrata Lampito, and the rest of you, too. All together: Repeat after me:

There's no prick, lover's or husband's...

Together There's no prick, lover's or husband's...

Lysistrata That will approach me erect...

Together That will approach me erect...

Caloniki hesitates

Lysistrata Caloniki, speak!

Caloniki Damn it, Lysistrata, my knees are wobbly! "That will approach me erect..."

Lysistrata Shut in at home, I'll live prickless and chaste...

Together Shut in at home, I'll live prickless and chaste...

Lysistrata And I'll be dressed seductively and be beautifully made...

Together And I'll be dressed seductively and be beautifully made... 220

Lysistrata So as to set on fire my man's desire...

Together So as to set on fire my man's desire...

Lysistrata And let him not fuck me with my consent...

Together And let him not fuck me with my consent...

Lysistrata But if the prick forces itself upon me...

Together But if the prick forces itself upon me...

Lysistrata I will not reach orgasm... at the same time as it does...

Together I will not reach orgasm... at the same time as it does...

Lysistrata I will not have my slippers raised to the ceiling...

Together I will not have my slippers raised to the ceiling... 230

Lysistrata Nor will I, like a whore, take up for him the position of the lioness-on-a-cheese-grater...

All the women except the Corinthian Whore look at each other bemused. They've no idea what Lysistrata means by the last oath. The Corinthian Whore though, nods and smiles knowingly.

Together Nor will I, like a whore, take up for him the position of the lioness-on-a-cheese-grater...

Lysistrata And so, to bind all this together, we hereby drink this wine...

Together And so, to bind all this together, we hereby drink this wine...

Lysistrata And if I break this solemn oath may the wine I drink turn to water...

Together And if I break this solemn oath may the wine I drink turn to water...

Lysistrata Have you all sworn with me?

Together We sure have!

Lysistrata Now bring me the cup that I may sanctify it.

Caloniki Give me some too, so that the oath will bind us all well and tight.

Shouting and commotion behind the walls.

Lampito What's all the noise?

Lysistrata Aha! Just like I said. Our older women have seized the Acropolis. Quickly now, Lampito, you head off towards accomplishing your end of the bargain. Go to Sparta, quickly... but leave these friends of yours here with us, as goodwill. The rest of us will go over to the Acropolis and toss the bars over the gates. 240

Caloniki But don't you think the men will band together and rush us?

Lysistrata I'm not worried about that one little bit, Caloniki. Even if they threaten us with fire and even if they manage to open the gates, so what? We'll do as we've just sworn, right?

Caloniki Right! Of course. Yes! Otherwise we'll remain for ever as we always were: cowards and whores to them all!

Exit all into the acropolis.

Scene 2

A group of twelve men walks in from SL (stage left will henceforth be "their territory." It is where they will be retreating to when business asks for a retreat.)

They all wear a surfeit of clothes which they take off one at a time at various instances for comedic effect.

Drakis, its leader, is negotiating his grip on a long branch on his shoulders and a fire-making pot of sorts which makes much smoke. Between them all they are carrying wood of some sort or other, branches, kindling, etc, as well as crow bars, ramming rods and such like implements that may be useful for breaking and entering. Drakis is walking just a little ahead of the others and, like the others, is irritated by coughing fits brought about by the smoke.

Go on, my poor boy! Go on Drakis! Even if your shoulder is breaking under the strain of this huge, damp olive log! Go on, my boy! Cough, cough!

Philourgos To Strynidoros

Long life brings you so many surprises, hey? Things, my good Strynidoros, which I have never hoped to see or hear.

Women! Women, whom we husbanded, whom we nourished and maintained and who have caused us so much fuss!

Strynidoros So much fuss!

Philourgos Now they've gone and taken over the Acropolis. Stolen the sacred statue of our protector, Athena and they've driven bars and padlocks into her gates!

Strynidoros Let's move as fast as we can, Philourgos. Come on, let's place these branches all around...

Philourgos Let's teach them a lesson...

Drakis Let's light a high flame...

Philourgos Fry the lot of 'em...

Phadrias First, among them all, Lycos' wife, Rhodia! Haha! A bastard of a politician deserves a... slut of a wife!

Philourgos Sarcastically

...a slut of a wife! Cough, cough! A faithful slut! Slut to the end! Hahaha!

Strynidoros By Demeter, no one will dare laugh at us while we're alive...

Drakis Stops, turns and talks to the others, laughing

Remember old Cleomenes, boys?

Strynidoros Ah, yes, Drakis! That's right! He tried this little trick once, too, didn't he?

Philourgos Even he didn't escape unpunished.

Drakis Shat himself and had to surrender his arms to me! 275

Phadrias True Spartan, though. Ran off without a shirt on his back. Unwashed for six years, unshaven...

Strynidoros Stank to high Heaven, hey Phadrias? Hahaha! Cough, cough!

Drakis Hehehehe! This is how we surrounded the city, men!

Phadrias But he was besieged by seventeen men, Drakis. Totally surrounded!

Philourgos They spent the whole night at the gates.

Drakis Pointing at the Acropolis

So that these here god-hated women...

Phadrias Hated by God and by Euripides, by God!

Bah!These women are nothing to us, hey men? Cough, cough! Nothing!

Philourgos Our Victory will shine throughout Athens, our four-headed city! 285

Drakis Takes up his equipment again. He's visibly struggling.

Just a little way left now and we're there, Drakis, my good man!

Phadrias And we're doing all this without even a donkey, hey, Strynidoros? On our own bare backs!

Strynidoros Ouch! Damned logs! Two of them have gone and lodged themselves right into my bones... ah, well, what can one do, Phadrias? Adjusts himself

Phadrias We must go on, go on, go on! Walk up the hill, walk up the hill, walk on, walk on, walk on...

Drakis ...and blow hard at the fire He blows into the fire pot. The smoke proliferates. Phoo, phoo!

Philourgos What smoke! By mighty Hercules, what sooty dread! 295

Drakis What... ouch! Arghhhhhh! What horror -cough, cough- was it that jumped out of there and, like a bitch-on-heat tore at my eyeballs?

Philourgos Like the Volcano of Lemnos, hey, Drakis? This machine smokes and smokes... cough, cough!

Drakis ...and scorched and filled my eyes with gunk.

Phadrias You men go on ahead of me to the city! Run to the aid of Athena! Phoo, phoo! What smoke, what horror!

It's up to Heaven now, whether the fire burns or not. Let's leave the wood here and light up new, leafless vines.

Phadrias Then, all of us together, we'll charge at the gates, hey?

Drakis And if the women won't pull back the bolts, then, we'll set them all on fire!

Phadrias Phoo, phoo, cough, cough! There! I think now we're winning!

Strynidoros Put down the wood. Cough, splatter, choke... The smoke will kill us!

Drakis Ah, for a Samian general to take this wood from my hands!

Phadrias There, I'm putting mine down here. They've bust my balls.

Drakis Talking to the pot

It's up to you now, little potsy. Light this coal and start the fire! Go on!

Phadrias Raises his hands in prayer

Help us Glorious Victory, come, stand beside us and drive your triumph right up into those cocky women!

They leave the pot down and retreat quietly to their territory, occupying themselves with various preparations. They do not notice the women when they enter the stage later. A small pause before we hear the shouting of women off stage. When they appear from the opposite side we see that it's a group, similar in number, age and disposition as the old men. They will form the second warring party and SR will be "their territory." Their leader is Stratyllis. They are carrying buckets, urns, jugs and pitchers of all sorts, filled with water. They've noticed the smoke and are walking through it but they've not seen the men yet.

Come quickly, girls! All this smoke must mean that there's a lot of fire! Run Niki, run, or you'll burn dear. You, too, Kali, run or you'll burn, sweetie! Kryti, darling! You're surrounded by smoke, dear and so is everything else around here! Hateful men! We'll lose everything with their stupid laws!

Enter women (SR. Their territory). They carry clubs, sticks, brooms and all sorts of other makeshift weapons, as well as buckets full of water.

Krytilli To Stratyllis

I was at the taps very early this morning, Stratyllis, before dawn, even, trying to fill my pitcher with water and help save these poor friends of ours in there but - God, I hope I'm not too late for that! All that commotion and fuss and traffic I had to put up with! Every slave in town was jostling me about. I heard that some old men - must be wankers the lot of them -were carting sticks and logs around here, threatening to set us on fire, turn us all into charcoal, they said!

Dear God, I hope I never get to see my sisters burn like kindling by these bastards.

Kallyki Yes, let's save them all from the horror of war! 340

Krytilli Let's save Greece and all her people, my dear goddess, Athena, goddess of the golden helmet!

Stratyllis She is walking on into the men's territory, still without noticing them.

Oh, Athena, thrice-born! We've surrounded your home and ask you to be our ally!

Nikothiki God, please give no time to these bastards to build a proper fire. Help us with our water carrying!

Stratyllis suddenly finds herself inside Draki's arms. He frightens her and grabs her by the dress. She runs back towards her friends, screaming. The dress is torn from her.The rest of the men now come into focus also.

Stratyllis Let me go, you old wanker! Help, help!

Kallyki What is all this? You... you evil bastards! What are you up to, hey? You must be the real nasty type if all this smoke is your doing! 350

Other women come to Stratyllis' aid and help her escape. They then turn ferociously upon Drakis, pelting him with all their weapons.

Drakis Enough! Oh, no! God help us! Looks around him and is terrified at the sight of all the women Ach! Now I've seen everything! A whole paddock of them! A whole herd of them! They're all gathered around the gates. Stuttering with fear. And whaaaaat are you all doing here, then, hey?

He goes and picks up a lighted piece of wood and waves it about threateningly but he is still petrified.

Stratyllis Ha! Shitting yourself with fear, are you? Indicating her friends What, you mean this little lot? This is nothing. This is just a tiny number of us out here. You should see the rest of us!

Hey, Phadrias, are we going to let these old weather-beaten shags cackle like this for ever? Shouldn't we break a rod across their back?

Stratyllis Girls, put your buckets down and get ready for them - and if they dare raise a hand!

Stratyllis Steps between them

Oh yea? Well, here you are! Do it! Go on, do it!

Offers her face for the slapping.

Here's my face. Just try it! Come on!

Phadrias approaches tentatively.

Booh!

Phadrias withdraws frightened

You do boy, and you'll get to know what it would feel like if some wild dogs took a liking to your balls... and ripped them right off and right out of your crotch! Go on, try!

Phadrias Phadrias withdraws further

If you don't shut up, you old hag, I'll... I'll... I'll rip your guts out!

Kallyki Oh, yeah? You just raise one finger against our Strato here and...

Phadrias One finger? One finger! Oh, I am soooooo scared now! I'll raise a full fist of them against the silly, old bitch!

Krytilli I'll tear your guts AND your lungs out - with my own teeth!

Strynidoros Looking for support from his group

There's no wiser man -or poet- than Euripides, hey men? And he was right, too, when he said, "There's no creature so vulgar as a woman."

Stratyllis Rhodippi, dear, pick up your jug again and get ready. 370

Strynidoros Yea, and... and... why did you... you... God-cursed creature, why did you bring all this water here, hey?

Stratyllis And you, you old bum-beater, why did you bring all this fire here, hey? To roast yourselves? Hahahaha!

Phadrias No, to build a nice little pyre for you and your friends.

Stratyllis And we, we'll quench this fire of yours with our water.

Drakis You! You'll quench our fire? Hah!

Stratyllis With our water. You'll see!

A battle starts between Stratyllis and Drakis. She tries to throw the water on the fire, he tries to burn her with a lighted branch. Other warring pairs are made here who will be seen as reconciled friends at the close of the play.

Drakis Lunging at her crotch with the torch

I don't think so. In fact I think I might... just apply a little bit of heat under there for you...

Stratyllis Oh, yea? She approaches him, finds out he smells badly and pinches her nose

Pooh! O, my goodness! Listen, you old piece of filth, if you happen to have a bit of soap with you, I might just do you the favour and give you a bath!

Drakis A bath? Me! Oh, you old piece of carcass!

Stratyllis Yea, it'll be a real nuptial bath.

Phadrias Ohhhh! What arrogance!

Rhodippi Because I'm an emancipated woman!

Philourgos I'll emancipate your throat for that!

Rhodippi Ha! No more shitty, stifling laws from your parliamentary bench, boy! 380

Strynidoros Burn her hair for that!

Stratyllis Flood the bastards! Do your stuff girls, drown them now!

The women chase the men about until they pour their water all over the men's heads.

Drakis Bloody hell!

Stratyllis It's not tooooo hot, for you, is it, deary?

Drakis Hot? What's hot?

She throws a bit more water on him, this time directed at his phallus

Stop! What do you think you're doing?

Stratyllis I'm... watering you. Pointing at his fallen phallus

See if I can get some new growth out of you!

Drakis I'm frrrrreezing, trrrrrembling!

Stratyllis Well, go sit by your fire then!

The women withdraw cautiously into their territory (SR). The magistrate, a paradigm of a pompous, corrupt politician, followed by a number -at least four- of Skythian archers enter from stage left. (Note: The archers are the common police force of Athens at the time.)

Magistrate Well, then! Has all this womanish pandemonium finished yet? Have they all finished with their lunatic drum beating and their vulgar drunken orgies and their rooftop wailing over their poor little Adonis? All this stuff reminds of the day -may we never see that day again!- when Demostratus talked us into sailing against Sicily. Remember? His drunken wife began an orgy of lamentations about her little Adonis. Mocking her "Oh, my poor, poor, little Adonis, my poor little Adonis! Oh, my poor, poor, little Adonis." She squealed and squealed interminably. Then Demostratus, the old piece of dung went on with "we need to enlist soldiers from Zakynthos!" and off she went again! She got up onto her roof this time and began screeching, "Cry, cry, ye all, for our poor, poor Adonis!" She screamed and carried on like this until the old ball-busting, wrath-straddled, God-cursed bastard, Demostratus, to spite her, pushed his vote through the Assembly! Such are the wild, undisciplined doings of women!

Drakis And if you only knew just how wild and undisciplined, they are, sir. The insults these women have subjected us to! Not only have they called us all sorts of disgusting names but then, to add injuries to their insults, they've tossed jugfuls of water all over us -soaked us through and through! We look like... we've pissed ourselves! 399

Magistrate Because, by Salty Poseidon, we are so piss-weak ourselves! All this awful stuff, is our very own fault! Because we are the ones who spoil them rotten and corrupt their little brains. We sow this sort of thinking into their small skulls. Because, what do we husbands do? I'll show you what we do: Here's one husband going to the jeweler's:

Mocks a piss-weak husband

"Hey mister jeweler. You know that bracelet you've made for my wife? You know how we went dancing the other night? Weeeeell, its little thingy broke and it slipped out of its little holey-poley while she was dancing last night and now the thingy is broken. I'm off to war now, so... could you be a nice little boy and go over to her tonight to fix it for her, to put the little thingy back into the little holey polley, please?"

Or another idiot will go over to the shoemaker who's a huge, strong man with a prick to match and he says to him, mocking again "O, please, mister cobbler, my wife's little tootsie wootsie is hurting a bit because the strap on her sandal is a little titsy bitsy, witsy, too tight. Could you please run over to her at midday and stretch it out a bit for her? Make it wiiiiiiiider for her, please?"

So, here we are now, suffering the consequences of this sort of piss-weak behaviour... I need to go in there now, to get some money to pay the city's rowers. How am I going to do that if these bloody women have bolted all the gates, hey?

But I won't stand for it! Bring me the crow bars, men! I'll make them pay for this insolence! To one of his Skythian archers Hey, you! What are you gaping at, moron? Looking for a tavern, are you? Damn you! Come on men, let's put our ramrods here, under the gates and ram them open! I'll put my rod here with yours, too.

They start at this but Lysistrata enters through the gates of the acropolis. She's followed by Caloniki, Myrrhini, the Skythian policewoman and other wives. They are carrying little baskets out of which they will eventually bring some ribbons, a wreath and a garland.

Lysistrata You won't have to ram open any gates, boys! See? I'm here, of my own accord!

Looks about her at the men's efforts

Why the rams, boys? We don't need rams here, we just need a bit of brain. Much better than all the rams in the world. We should just use a bit of grey matter and nous, that's all! This is Athena's Temple. Athena, boys, the Goddess of wisdom!

Magistrate Is that a fact, you... you over-defiled wench? He searches among the men.

Where's my archer? Hey, you! Officer! Grab this whore and tie her hands behind her back -both of them!

Lysistrata Oh yea? Well, let me tell you, Mister Magistrate, sir! Officer or not, he who touches even my little pinky shall spill plenty of tears for it.

Skythian retreats cowardly.

What? Are you afraid man? Two of you then! Quickly, grab her by her waist. Seize her!

Two Skythians attempt this.

Caloniki Steps forward threateningly. To the Magistrate.

Hey! If they as much as lay a finger on our Lysistrata, I'll kick the shit out of you, trust me... sir! I'll make you brown your pants!

Skythians retreat cowardly behind the other men

Me brown my pants? Me! You'll be the one shitting yourself in a minute!

Looking for his officer again Damn it, where's my officer? Finds one Here, you! Tie up this big mouth first!

The officer attempts this but he's also stopped by Myrrhini

Myrrhini Go on then, touch our Caloniki if you dare, go on! One little fingertip, plop face and you'll be calling for surgery.

Magistrate Turns to Myrrhini

By the gods! And who's this one then? Skythian, leave that one and grab this one first! I'll put an end to this outrageous exodus!

Officer attempts this too but again he's stopped by Stratyllis. She is charging forward with the rest of her women.

Stratyllis To the Skythian

You touch our Myrrhini old man and I'll rip all you hair out. Strand by miserable strand. That'll make you squeal like the pig you are!

Skythian retreats behind friendly forces.

Magistrate Damn my rotten luck! The cops have vanished! How on earth could we ever let a bunch of women beat us like this? Come on, my good Skythians! Let's all march forward together in a group and rush them! 448

Lysistrata Hahahaha!I think you ought to know, mister Magistrate! There are four battalions of us women here. And we are all very, very well armed, very, very willing, very, very able and very, very ready! She lunges towards them

Magistrate Quick, now! Officers, tie their hands up!

Lysistrata To the audience

Women! Sisters! Come out here, all of you! All you sellers of seed, of pumpkin, of peas and beans; of garlic and wine, of hotel beds and flour and bread! All of you, darlings who've been pushed and smacked around, who've been insulted. Come out all of you!

All men rush to obey the magistrate and all women to assist Lysistrata. A noisy and chaotic melee ensues. The Skythians are soaked to the core. In the battle there's a comical, non-verbal confusion and hints are made at another possible romance, that of the female Skythian and the male Skythian (the one insulted by the magistrate earlier.) Also, the magistrate confronts the female Skythian at one point and he's outraged when he realises she is working on the side of the women. He mumbles, "more womanish treachery!" At the end, the Skythians and Drakis' men suffer great losses and withdraw thoroughly shamed to their territory, at SL.

Magistrate By the gods! Look at my poor Archers! They've all been thoroughly thrashed! 462

Lysistrata Of course they did! What did you think? That you were dealing with some little slave girls or women with no fortitude?

Magistrate Fortitude? Oh, you've got that all right... You've got balls... when you're drunk!

Drakis You've wasted enough words, here, Your Honour. What's the point of exchanging civil words with wild beasts?

Philourgos Yeah, can't you see the washing they gave us -clothes and all, and no soap! 470

Stratyllis To the Magistrate

You need to learn not to raise an angry hand against your neighbour, sir, because if you do, you'll end up with a black eye.

Kallyki Also to the Magistrate

And if I want to just sit on my bum and think all day long, like a demure little maid, hurting no-one and stirring no-one's twig then that's just what I'll do!

Krytilli Also to the Magistrate

And if you want to take the honey from my little honey pot, well then, Mister Magistrate, beware! You'll be stirring my sting!

The Magistrate turns and gathers the men around him for a conference. The women do the same in their territory.

Magistrate O, God! How do we deal with these beasts? I can't take much more of this torture!

Drakis Let's think this through... Whatever gave them the idea to climb this unclimable cliff, to this sacred and glorious ground? What made them want to come and take over the Acropolis?

Strynidoros To the Magistrate

Ask her, Your Honour! Question her! And don't trust her. Question everything she says and does.

Philourgos It'd be shameful to let this go without a sound trial.

Magistrate Right, then!

Breaks the huddle. Walks over to Lysistrata

You! First thing I wish to know from you is, what were your thoughts when you came to shut our Acropolis up with bars and rams?

Lysistrata So as to keep the money away from you. So that you can't use it for your stupid war!

Magistrate You think we need money for war?

Lysistrata Yeah, I think you need money for war! And not only for war but you've also screwed up everything else with it, as well! This war of yours has given crooked leaders like Peisandros - to use but one example- the opportunity to steal money, so as to feed their constantly rumbling guts!

So, my dear Magistrate, what we will do is this: we will let their guts go on rumbling. From now on they won't be able to do what they want with that money. That money will not come down out of there just to shut up the rumbling of their guts, not ever again!

Magistrate O yeah? And what will you do with it?

Lysistrata What do you mean, "what will we do with it?" We'll keep it safe, that's what we'll do with it!

Magistrate You? Keep it safe?

Lysistrata What's so hard about that? We've kept the house purses safe for years!

Magistrate House purses? House purses? That's a totally different thing, you silly woman!

Lysistrata Why is that?

Magistrate This is a war fund, you stupid woman! A war fund, get it?

Lysistrata And that's exactly our first goal: No more war!

Magistrate No war? No war? How on earth are we going to protect ourselves without war?

Lysistrata We'll protect you! No need for war!

Magistrate You lot? Huh!

Lysistrata Swinging her bum lasciviously.

Yes, just little ol' us! We, the women!

Magistrate Savagery!

Lysistrata We'll save you, Mister Magistrate, sir! Whether you like it or not!

Magistrate Grrr. What a painful utterance!

Lysistrata What are you getting angry about? What needs to be done, must be done!

Magistrate But... God! God... It's so... so... bloody unfair!

Lysistrata But it's the right, the proper thing to do! 500

Magistrate What if I don't want to?

Lysistrata All the more reason, to do it then!

Magistrate What got you so concerned about war and peace all of a sudden?

Lysistrata What? Well, let me tell you...

Magistrate Interrupts her by angrily raising his fists

Talk fast then, before your tears begin to roll.

Lysistrata All right. Listen then but keep your fists to yourself.

Magistrate Looks at his hands which are still shaking with anger.

I can't... it's... too hard for me. You've got them all angry!

Stratyllis Raises her own fist at him

Then it's you who'll be doing the crying!

You! Talk to me!

Lysistrata But of course! Now! Before the war, everything you men did, we suffered in silence and dignity because you wouldn't let us make a sound. Not a peep.

God, we hated you for that! And then, all the time, we'd hear about all those dreadful decisions you'd be making about some very important issue or other. But, we'd put on a smile to hide the pain and we'd come to you with, "how did parliament go today, darling? Any laws posted on the law pillars about peace?" Well, my own husband would answer with, "Grrrr... what's it to you?" and with "Grrrr... won't you ever shut up, woman?" So, I'd shut up.

Stratyllis Me? I'd never shut up!

Magistrate You! By God, I'd have given you something to squawk about, you old crow!

Lysistrata And that's exactly why I did shut up! But then, other stupid decisions of yours would come up and again we'd ask, "husband, how could you do such stupid things?" And the dear hubby would take one frowny look at me and tell me to go back to my weaving or he'd give me something to really scream my head about. Then he'd say what Hektor said to his wife, Adromache, "war is men's business!" The fool's been reading too much Homer!

Magistrate And he'd be right, too! 520

Lysistrata But how so, you God-spewed fool? We had to accept your policies even when they were totally ill-judged. All right. We did that for a while but then we began hearing your pitiful crying in the street, mocking the men crying in the street "We need men! Where are the men? Oh me, oh my! There isn't a man left in our country, not even a one!" So, we women thought we should get together and try to save Greece. Enough waiting for you lot of foolish men to do it. We, women, can wait no longer. And if you want to take your turn at shutting up and listening to our good advice, we'll straighten everything out for you!

You? You'll straighten everything out for us? The dreadful things you say, woman!

I won't stand for that! Grrrr!

Lysistrata I thought I said, shut up!

Magistrate Damned woman! Me shut up for you? A woman... a woman wearing a scarf over her head? Never!

Lysistrata Removes scarf and places it over the Magistrate's head.

Oh, is this what's bothering you? Well, here you are! It's off mine and onto yours!

Now you can shut up!

Stratyllis Walks over and hangs a basket over his limp elbow. The Magistrate now looks comically like a woman.

And you can have this little basket, too!

Lysistrata Your sewing is in there. And some beans to chew on while you're working on it.

From now on, sewing for you, war for us!

Stratyllis: To the rest of the old women 540

Put your jugs down, women, so that we can give our friends here, a hand.

It's our turn now.

Kallyki Great! I never tire doing the sacred dance and my good knees don't buckle with the

workload.

Krytilli Me, too. I want to be just like them in everything. Same nature, same charm, same bravery, same wisdom, just as patriotic, as virtuous and as proud!

Stratyllis So, come all you grannies and nannies of the bravest, prickliest of all the nettles! Let loose your anger but don't slacken the force of your charge. The wind is right behind us, women! Let's go!

Lysistrata And so long as sweet-tempered Eros and Aphrodite are still bulging our breasts and cunts with their lusty breath and so long as they make our men's pricks stand like policemen's truncheons, I'm sure that soon, the whole of Greece will be calling us "Battle Blockers!" 550

Magistrate Is that right? So... what will you do?

Lysistrata If we first stop the mindless display of arms and lunacy in the market place...

Stratyllis That's right, by Aphrodite!

Lysistrata Stupid bastards, they're everywhere! Armed to the teeth and pacing up and down between the cabbage stalls and the pottery shops, like frenzied lunatics! Idiots!

Magistrate But of course, woman, that's the way of heroes!

Lysistrata But doesn't it look just a little queer to you? I mean, men carrying a huge shield with the drawing of a fearsome gorgon painted all over it... looking to buy sardines?

Stratyllis Ha! That's so damned true! I saw a guard the other day. Long haired fool, on a horse, stuffing his shiny bronze helmet full with peas which he'd bought from an old woman's stall. And another one, a Thracian, jerking and shaking his spear and shield about, frightening some poor old woman out of her wits, pinching all the ripe figs from her stall and stuffing himself with them, just like a real barbarian. 560

Everyone else, including the Magistrate's men, burst into loud chuckles and laughter

Magistrate All right, all right! So, how will you... women, be able to put an end to all this terrible turbulence amongst all the nations? How would you undo it all?

Lysistrata With great ease!

Magistrate Oh, yes? Is that right? Well? How? Come on, show me!

Lysistrata We shall undo all this turbulence just like we undo the knots in a ball of wool. We simply pick up the spindles and we pull one thread this way, another that way, another this way, another... Simple! That's how we'll get rid of all the knots. We'll send out some embassies here, some embassies there...

Magistrate Fools! You think you can stop such great problems with spindles and wool?

Lysistrata But of course! And if you, too, had the intelligence to undo knots in balls of wool, you'd be able to undo knots in the State, as well!

Magistrate Knots in wool? Knots in wool? What on earth are you talking about, woman? Show me!

Lysistrata now turns and speaks directly at the audience as if she's giving them a lecture, as if she's holding them responsible for much of Athens' predicament.

You simply wash the city just like you wash wool.

First, you put the wool into the tub and get rid of all the daggy bits, all the crap around its bum. Then you put it on a bed, take a rod and scrutch and bonk all the burrs and spikes out it. All those burrs and spikes that have gathered themselves into tight knots and balls and are tearing and tangling the wool of State, well, you just tease them out of there. Rip their heads off! Then, off for the combing. You put all the wool together into one basket. All of it! Friends, foreign or local, allies -anyone who's good for the State. Drop them all in there. As well as our citizens from the colonies. Consider them, too, as part of the same ball of wool, only separated from each other. So, what with all those colonies joining the ball, you'll be able to weave a cloak big enough for the whole city.

Magistrate How bloody frightening! All this spindle spinning and rod rodding these women want to do! What do they know about the suffering that goes with war? About bearing the burden of war?

None!

Lysistrata None? None! You warped wanker! We suffer twice as much as you.

Firstly, we give birth to these men which you promptly send off to war...

Oh, shut up you stupid woman! Let's forget all this stuff!

Lysistrata Ignoring the interruption

...and secondly, we women, have every right to be enjoying the prime of our life - which is now! But because of all these campaigns of yours, we all go to bed alone these days. And it's not only us who are suffering but our daughters, too, whose prime is passing them by even faster. They're in there, in their rooms, totally alone.

Magistrate And don't men get old, too?

Lysistrata You think it's the same? When a man comes back from his battle, even if he's old and grey, he can still find a fuck, whereas a woman's prime races by and if no one grabs it, she'll never get a fuck! So, the poor thing just sits there, in her room, all alone, reading marriage omens!

Magistrate Well, yes, if a man can still get it up...

Lysistrata: This time she interrupts him angrily.

War suffering! Bah! You obviously know nothing about real suffering, so... so why don't you just drop dead, hey?

She looks about her.

Here you are! Here's a perfect spot for you! I'll get you a coffin and bake you the burial cake... and here! Takes out a garland from a basket and throws it around his neck.

Crown yourself with this.

The rest of the women gather around him and with hilarity and derision, dress him up as a corpse.

Stratyllis Hang on a minute! Takes out a ribbon from the basket and wraps it around him

And take this from me, too.

Kallyki Takes out a wreath and puts it on his head

And this from me.

Lysistrata Need anything else? No? Well? Hop on the boat, then, Mister Magistrate, sir!

Puts her hand to her ear

Hear that? It's Charon calling you. Next stop the Undersworld! Go on! Hop it! What's holding you back? Cark it, you old kook!

Magistrate My God, the things I have to endure! Right! That's it! I'm off to show my brother magistrates what these women have done to me! I'll go exactly as I am! Just like this!

Magistrate and Skythians exit, stage left.

The women burst into laughter.

Lysistrata Shouting after him

Don't complain that we didn't give you a good funeral... and we'll give you your the proper three-day memorial the day after tomorrow, if you want!

Satisfied and with laughter, Lysistrata, Caloniki, Myrrhini and the Skythian woman archer leave the stage through the gates of the acropolis.

Scene 3

Right! Right! All right then! All right! Time for all free men to stand up and get ready for action. Right! Takes off his cloak, ready for action.

Right! Let's strip, men and let's just examine this huge issue.

His limp phallus becomes even more conspicuous now that he's taken off his cloak

Right!

His men follow suit

Phadrias Suddenly hit by the smell which resulted from their last action

Buh! I can smell something very foul around here. Becoming serious

In fact, I can smell Hippias' rule of tyranny behind all this. I can smell Hippias' type of dilemma: horsey woman on top! I'm... I'm petrified! I have an awful hunch that some Spartan men might have gathered all their women together and tugged them all off to the house of that womaniser, Cleisthenes, who, in turn, got them all to stir up our own women here to seize our funds - and my wages, my daily bread!

Philourgos It's grotesque how these women are running around alarming our citizens with ejaculations about bronze shields and about making peace with Spartans... Spartans!

They're about as trustworthy as wolves with gaping and salivating mouths!

Strynidoros Mates, these things, these things are all threads these bastards are weaving to get a cloth of tyranny together over us. Ah, but, no! We won't bow to tyranny! "I'll stand aloof," as the song goes: Sings saucily "Oh, I'll bury my sword in the myrtle bush, the myrtle bush, the myrtle bush..." and I'll stand -fully armed- behind the statue of our favourite tyrant killer, Aristogeiton, in the market place. I'll stand there just like he did: at the ready for the ambush and... and... Pointing at Stratyllis ... when this God-hated woman turns up, I'll smack her in that big gob of hers!

Stratyllis Oh, yeah? You just try and your own mother won't be able to recognise you when you get home -if you get home!

To the women My darling oldies... takes a hold of her jacket, rips it off and throws it to the ground first, let's throw these to the ground! 635

Kallyki Athenians! Let us begin our good work by giving our city some useful words. And it's good and proper that we should give her some good advice because she raised us in absolute luxury. I, for example, when I was but seven years old, I was made a temple attendant. Then, when I turned ten, I was given the duty of grinding the sacred barley at Artemis' temple and was also one of the mparticipants at the festival, one of the little bears, as we call them. I used to have to take off my msaffron robe and dance naked in the procession. Later on, of course, when I became a beautiful young woman, I used to carry the string of sacred dried figs at Athena's procession. That's the greatest honour that can be bestowed upon an Athenian girl!

Krytilli And that's why I owe it to our city to give something useful back to it, in return. To the men Don't hold it against me for being born a woman or for knowing how to fix these awful problems we are facing at the moment. My contribution to the common cause will be real men! Because you lot, you old codgers and tax dodgers, you've contributed nothing. All you did was to waste what your grandfathers put there. All that wealth they had brought back from their victory in the Persian wars. You've wasted all that up and you're sending us headlong into bankruptcy!

Drakis moves towards her angrily but she takes out her shoe and waves it angrily at him.

And any more grief from you, old man and I'll smash your jaw with my shoe!

Drakis My God! Is this arrogance not unbearable? Right! Right! All right then! Fine! I call on... I call on all men with pricks and balls! We must all raise against this outrage right now before it gets many worse!

All the men look at their limp members for a moment. Their histrionics display their dismay.

Philourgos Shirts off, men, so that they can see the powerful man and the powerful smell his smell all at once. It's not right to turn our men's bodies into stuffed vine leaves!

They all take off their shirts with rumblings of "that's right," "too bloody right" "we'll show them what we're made of"

Drakis Right! Arise, all you men who wear the bright medals of the bright winners of the bright battles a hundred years old - and more! You, brave men who wear the white sandals! Ah, we sure were something back then, weren't we, mates? Let's now rise again, men! Let's rid ourselves of this old age and let's give our bodies new wings!

Phadrias Don't let any of you men give these women the slightest grip on anything, because nothing escapes their greasy hands. They'll be building ships and taking off for sea battles next - sailing against us, like that traitor, Artemisia, when we were fighting the Persians. And if they set their minds to take on horse riding, then we can forget about our cavalry! Because when it comes to riding, these women know it all! Even at the gallop you can't get them to fall off! Just look at those paintings of Mikon, for example, with all those Amazons! 670

These are not women, they are fighting men! So, our duty men, is clearly this: It is to grab them by their neck and place that neck of theirs firmly in the public pillory! With a sudden move he lunges towards Rhodippi whom she catches for a second but she escapes him

Rhodippi My God! Any more of this sort of heat from you, boy and... we'll set loose our cunts on you! I'll make you rush off to your little boy friends crying and whimpering like little shagged sheep. Behhhhehe! 681

Startyllis Right girls! We women have our own smells, too. Let them get a whiff of it girls! Take off your shirts and... rushes at the men... chaaaaaarge!

Kallyki: Daring the men 690

Come on then, one of you try and hit me, come on! Huh! You'll never be able to chew garlic again, nor black beans, if you did.

To Philourgos who begins to charge towards her

One bad word from you, old kook and I'll rip your testicles off... just like the little beetle did to the eagle's eggs in Aesop's little story. Chirp, chirp ouch, ouch!

Stratyllis Huh! And me? I'm not worried about you men. Not while my Lampito and that noble girl from Thebes, Ismenia, are still alive. To Drakis You? You lot are totally useless! Seven rounds of legislating and still nothing! That's how much everyone in this city hates you!

Just yesterday I had a party for all of us women, in honour of Hekate so I invited one of the neighbours, a stunning little whore, beautiful, like a Boetian eel, no less, but no, she wasn't allowed to come, thanks to your stupid laws. It seems you'll never stop all this stupid, maggravating, masturbating, legislating, until someone... lunges at Drakis' phallus ... grabs you by your groin's dangler, tosses you about and... rips your bum apart!

The men retreat panic stricken. Under subtle light changes they retreat to their territory and, ashamed, take away all the wood and implements they've brought in with their first entrance. These implements will not be used again for the duration of the play. The men stay at their territory for the duration of the next scene. A small pause before Lysistrata enters through the gates. She looks distressed.

Scene 4

Stratyllis To Lysistrata, expansively

Ah, leader of this enterprise... leader of this grand scheme! Why have you come down from your lofty chambers? And why do you look so deeply worried, woman?

Lysistrata The behaviour of bad women and their sex-clogged brains, Stratyllis! That's why I lose heart! I've been spending all day long pacing nervously up and down!

Krytilli Why, Lysistrata? What's up? 710

Lysistrata It's true, girls, we have sex-clogged brains!

Kallyki Well? Tell your friends, then! What's the matter, darling?.

Lysistrata Sighing deeply

Ah! It's too shameful to tell and it's too heavy to carry around in your chest.

Stratyllis: Well, don't hide it, from us, then Lysistrata. Give us the full damage report.

Lysistrata To put it in just four words, girls, "we need a fuck!"

Together Oh, my Goddddd!

Lysistrata God? God? What are you calling him for? What's he got to do with it! It's the way things are with us. I just can't keep these women off their husbands' pricks! They're constantly running off. One of them I caught scratching a hole on the wall that leads to Pan's cave -you know, where Apollo did all his raping; another was trying to escape by hurling herself down some lever-and- pulley thing, and another - this one decided to climb up onto a bird yesterday, no doubt hoping to fly over to that womaniser's house, Orsilochus, but I tore that one down by her hair. So far, they've used every possible excuse to go home.

Caloniki rushes out of the Acropolis, looking frantic.

Here's one of them now. Hey you! Where are you running off to?

Caloniki Um... ummm... I really need to go home, Lysistrata. I need to check my Milesian wool. I think the moths might be eating it.

Lysistrata What damned moths? Get back inside, girl! 730

Caloniki I'll be right back, I swear by the Gods, Lysistrata! Just let me go and spread my wool on the bed, Lysistrata. It won't take long!

Lysistrata You'll go nowhere and spread nothing, anywhere!

Caloniki So will I let my wool just die, then?

Lysistrata If that's what will happen, then yes!

Myrrhini rushes out similarly.

Myrrhini Oh, what a stupid fool I am! Stupid, stupid, stupid fool! Hahahaha! I forgot my lovely flax totally unscutched at home!

Lysistrata Here's another! Out to get her "flax scutched!" Back inside, you!

Myrrhini Oh but I swear Lysistrata, by the moon even, please! Do let me just go and bonk it a little. I'll be right back!

Lysistrata No, no bonking! Because - because, you stupid girl, if you do it then every other woman in there will want to do it as well!

Ismenia, the Boetian wife, rushes out similarly. This one looks pregnant.

Ismenia Dear God, dear God, deary, deary deary me, o, my God! Oh dear God! Oh, divine protector of births! I beg you, hold back this delivery till I get out of this sacred soil!

Lysistrata What are you warbling on about, woman?

Ismenia I'm about to give birth, Lysistrata!

Lysistrata Birth? But you weren't pregnant yesterday.

Ismenia Today I am, though. Please, Lysistrata, send me home to the midwife, send me off as quickly as possible! 745

Lysistrata So you're pregnant hey? She feels the bulge And what's this you got here, hey? It's soooo hard!

Ismenia Yeah, it's a boy!

Lysistrata Let's see then... My god! Taps at the bulge Sounds like there's something bronzey under there... And it sounds like it's hollow inside. Let's see this baby of yours. Lifts up Ismenia's skirt and discloses the article Ah, ha! The sacred helmet of Athena! You're not pregnant after all, are you my stupid girl?

Ismenia But I am pregnant, Lysistrata, I know I am! I swear I am!

Lysistrata And this helmet is for?

Ismenia ...in case I was overtaken by the labour pains while I was in the Acropolis. I'd give birth in this helmet... like the pigeons... so that the birth wouldn't touch the sacred ground, you understand, Lysistrata, don't you?... I'm trying not to defile the sacred ground of Acropolis with my birthing... thing!

Lysistrata My God! What excuses! Yes, all right. I understand, now... the birth will pollute the holy ground... No! You're not going anywhere, my girl! You'll just have to stay here for the baby's - I mean the helmet's- naming party!

Ismenia But Lysistrata, since I saw the sacred snake, roaming about the temple I can't even sleep here.

Corinthian whore rushes out feigning similar distress

Corinthian Whore I'm going nuts with these owls! All damned night long! Woooooo, wooooooo, 760

woooooo!

Lysistrata Enough! Fools! Enough exaggerations! All right! Perhaps you do miss the pricks. All right! But don't you think they miss you too? They are going through some very stiff nights themselves, out there!

Believe me! Control yourselves, darlings and persevere for just a little longer, because... because there's an oracle about us and it predicts a victory for us -that's if we don't split asunder and begin fighting each other! Takes a scroll out of the folds of her dress Here it is!

Myrrhini Tell us what it says!

Lysistrata Listen then: 770

"... but when the swallows repel the pricks of the heath cocks and flee from them and gather together in one spot, all their worries will be gone - and as for the rest, All-Cracking Zeus will turn the uppers into lowers and vice-versa."

Corinthian Whore You mean we'll be doing the riding from now on? Horsey on top?

Lysistrata continues reading

"...but! If the swallows should split asunder and raise their wings to fly from the holy temple, then the world will be saying that there's no bird alive, none more lecherous than us, I mean the swallow!"

Ismenia Now that's one oracle that's pretty clear in meaning! Very unusual!

Lysistrata So, let's not weaken when things go tough on us, girls. Let's go inside.

It would be a sacrilege, my dear friends, if we betray the oracle.

Lysistrata and wives exit into the acropolis. All women except Stratyllis and Kallyki move to their territory.

Dusk then Dawn.

Intermezzo: Philourgos moves towards Kallyki and Drakis towards Stratyllis. This is a short farce, the purpose of which is to create a battleground upon which, slowly, the seeds of romance are sown for these two couples.

I want to tell you something. I want to tell you a story now. One which I heard when I was a young boy, and it's about a man called Melanion. Melanion wanted to escape marriage so he ran off first to the desert and then to the mountains and there, with the help of his dog and his nets, he hunted rabbits; and Melanion, because of this hatred for women, he never came back home. We, men, the wiser among us, we hate them no less than Melanion did.

I want to pucker up my lips and kiss you, you old chook!

Kallyki Not with that onion stench in your mouth.

Philourgos Cocks his leg up

Well, then, I'll raise my leg up to fuck you.

Kallyki Woah! Rather thick foliage you have down there, haven't you?

Philourgos Sign of real men. Just like Myronithes and Phormio -our great heroes! Their enemies certainly knew just how hairy their bums were! 800

I, too want to tell you a story, one to match yours. Once upon a time, there was a man called Timon. Timon had no home and he had no good looks either. His face, in fact, looked as if some thorns had given it a good work-over; looked like he was spawned by the Furies, when you think about it, really!

So poor Timon, who was also moved by the same sort of hatred. He went off to the desert as well, spitting curses to all the men, because they're all wicked! Now THAT'S our hero! And, like Timon, we, too, hate men, for they're all wicked! And we'll hate them for ever and ever and ever. As for Timon, every woman loved that boy.

Want a slap in the face?

Oh, no, not a slap on my face! You're terrifying me to death! I'm soooooo scared!

Kallyki What about if I kicked your legs and smashed them to little bits?

Philourgos You'd be lifting your leg too high and showing your cunt, if you tried that.

Kallyki Ha! You won't be seeing much down there. We older ladies like to exfoliate. I've shaved off all of mine last night, by the light of the oil lamp.

Dusk, then Dawn.

ACT 2

Scene 5

Lysistrata appears at the parapet of the acropolis. she's guarding the place. Suddenly she sees something, deep in the distance (stage left) which, both, shocks and amuses her.

Lysistrata Wooooah! Good God! Women, come over here quickly, come!

Caloniki What is it, Lysistrata? Why are you shouting? 830

Lysistrata A man, darling, a man! I see a man... coming! Literally! Coming! Look, there! See? He's coming! Hahaha! He must be totally in the grips of Aphrodite's work, that poor man! Oh, Aphrodite! Goddess of Cyprus and Cythera and Pathos! May the path this man has chosen be the right one!

Ismenia Where, where? Where is this man?

Lysistrata There, look, by the Temple of Chloe. There!

Corinthian Whore Oh, yeah! My God! Who is this man?

Lysistrata Take a good look everyone. Anyone know him?

Loud exclamations from all the women.

Myrrhini Oh my God! I do! He's my husband! Cinesias! My 'mover and shaker', 'shaggy' for

short. My husband! Ohhhhh!

Lysistrata In that case, Myrrhini, the job is yours! Hahahaha! Now this is what you do, my lovely girl: You roast him, you toss him and you turn him and you shake him all about -in short, darling, you trick mhim! Over and over again. You first give him lots of loving and then you take it all back. Submit to his every passion except the bit which only you and the oath-cup know about. 840

Myrrhini: (Feeling sorry for her husband)

Ohhhhh!

(But becomes determined after seeing Lysistrata's angry looks)

All right! Have no fear, Lysistrata. I'll do everything you said!

Lysistrata Good! I'll just stay here to help you with all the lovely trickery and all the preliminary heating up. To the other wives The rest of you, girls, go! Leave! Myrrhini, you go down and wait for me for a minute.

Everyone except Lysistrata leaves. Cinesias and his slave, Manes, enter, SL. Manes is holding Cinesias' baby. Cinesias is burdened with an agonising, throbbing erection.

Cinesias Oh, rotten, rotten, rotten and cursed luck! These jerks and spasms are killing me! It feels soooo stretched... It's like I've just come down from the torture wheel! Talk about blue balls! Ohhhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Such pain! Ouch! Ouch! 845

Lysistrata Who's there? Who's trying to... penetrate our fort?

Cinesias Me!

Lysistrata A man?

Cinesias You can say that again! A man, oh yes! A real man!

Lysistrata Then piss off, out of here!

Cinesias What? Who are you to tell me to piss off?

Lysistrata I'm the Day Guard.

Cinesias Then, for God's sake, Day Guard, call Myrrhini for me! 850

Lysistrata Me? Call Myrrhini for you? Why should I? Who are you?

Cinesias I am her husband. Cinesias of the clan of Bonk!

Lysistrata Cinesias! Of the clan of Bonk! Ah, well, well, well! Well then! Greetings, sweetheart!

Your name is quite famous around here. You're certainly not an anonymous man amongst us. Your dear wife has your name on her lips all day long. She can eat neither apple nor egg without first saying, "here's to my little Shaggy!"

Cinesias Oh my God! Truly? Is that true?

Lysistrata I swear by Aphrodite! And whenever our chats fall on men, your darling wife always says, "compared to my Shaggy, all the other men are... puny, little fiddly dick sticks!"

Cinesias Phallus spasms

Oh my God, oh my God, Oh my God! So... so go and call her then! Right now!

Lysistrata: Shows surprise at his impatience

All right, but... purposeful delay what do I get in return of my favour?

Cinesias Looking down at his erection

I... I can certainly give you this, if you want! Lysistrata shakes her head.

Or this! Throws her a purse Take it! I've got nothing else on me.

Lysistrata I'll take this. I'll go and call Myrrhini for you.

Exit Lysistrata

Cinesias Hurry! To the audience

God, since the day she left the house, my life became a total misery. Not the slightest bit of joy! I walk through the door and the place straight away looks totally deserted. Even the food is tasteless. That's how horny I am!

I love that man! I just love him. I love him him sooooo much, I'm crazy about him but he doesn't return my love. Please, oh, please, Lysistrata don't send me out there to him!

After a 'pregnant pause' Myrrhini appears coyly at the parapet.

Cinesias Oh my sweet, sweet, sweet Myrrhinaki! What are you doing up there, darling? Please come down here!

Myrrhini Oh, God no! I'm not coming out there!

Cinesias Myrrhini! I'm calling you and you're not coming? Are you disobeying me?

Myrrhini You're calling me but you don't really need me! 875

Cinesias Don't need you? Indicating his jolting phallus Can't you see this? I'm absolutely burning for you!

Myrrhini Nope, I'm off! Disappears from the parapet

Cinesias: Yells.

Oh no, don't! Myrrhini, listen! Listen to your baby, will you? Goes to the baby and shakes and shouts at it Call your mummy, won't you?

Baby Mummy, mummy, muuuuuuuuumy!

Myrrhini appears again.

Cinesias Hey, what's wrong with you, Myrrhini? Listen! This is his sixth day without a wash or a feed. Don't you feel sorry for him? 880

Myrrhini Yes, I do, but the negligence is his father's! Disappears again

Come down here, you silly girl. For your baby's sake!

Myrrhini Appears again, looks down at Cinesias, thinks about it for a protracted moment.

Oh, very well! To the audience Motherhood! I just have to come down! Anyway, what possible harm can there be in that?

Myrrhini disappears from the parapet, so as to come out through the gate.

She looks a bit younger to me. And that look she gave me! Mmmmmm! Much sweeter, gentler; and all this... hard-to-get stuff and the oh-I'm-so-proud stuff! Mmmmmm! All this rubs at my passion all the more! Ahhhhh!

Myrrhini comes out through the gate tentatively, coyly, and goes to her baby.

Myrrhini O, sweet, sweet darling baby! You've got such a nasty man for a father, haven't you?

Give him to me Takes the baby Oooooh! Let me kiss mummy's little sugar bun... Mmmmm!

Cinesias Stupid girl, why on earth did you listen to these women in there? You're giving me so much agony... and giving yourself so much grief too! He goes to touch her

Myrrhini Don't touch me!

Cinesias Frightened by the blatant and icy rejection

Our whole house is in a mess, Myrrhini. Everything, your stuff, my stuff, everything's in a mess!

Myrrhini Don't care about that stuff! 895

Cinesias What? You don't care if the chooks are running around, wearing your frillies?

Na! Not me!

Cinesias So... you won't be returning home then? He points at his shuddering erection And... and... and you've left Aphrodite's shrine unattended for such a long time! How long has it been since you performed her rites?

Myrrhini I don't know and I don't care, and no! No, I won't be coming back -not until all you men get together and agree to end the war. 900

Cinesias Done! Not a problem! If that's your wish, Myrrhinaki, we'll do it! Consider it done!

Myrrhini Good! All right then! If that's your wish, I'll be coming home. Done! But for now, until you sign that treaty, I am sworn to remain here.

Cinesias Almost in tears

But Myrrhini! It's been such a loooong time... let's fuck!

Myrrhini: Begins the cock "roasting and turning"

We caaaan't, sweetheaaaaart... Which, of course, doesn't mean that I don't loooove you any more!

Cinesias You do love me? Then come on, sweetie, lie down! Just lie down! Come on, lie down!

Myrrhini Don't be ridiculous! In front of the baby?

Cinesias Oh, but of course! Stupid me! Violently rips the baby from her hand and throws it to Manes who catches it precariously Manes, take him home!

Manes and the baby exit.

Right! Your child is no longer a consideration! You can lie down now!

Myrrhini And where do you suggest we could do it, you silly boy? 910

Cinesias: Looks all around frustrated

Where? Where? At Pan's cave. That'd be good!

Myrrhini All right... ah, but then, after we do it, how could I return to the Acropolis? I won't be clean any more. I'll need purification.

Cinesias Oh, that's easy, darling! The spring is right there. The spring of Clepsyda. Take a splash in there.

Myrrhini Darling, are you asking me to betray my vow?

Cinesias The vow? Bah! Don't let it bother you one little bit, sweetheart. I'll take full responsibility. Let it all fall upon my head. 915

Myrrhini All right then. Let me bring out a mattress first.

Cinesias Do nothing of the sort. The ground is good enough for me.

Myrrhini Oh, my God, no! I can't let you do that, you poor man!

She walks off into the acropolis shutting the gates behind her. She'll do this a number of times and each time, the sound of the gate closing becomes progressively more and more ominous - louder and signifying the possible permanency of its closure but not, of course, the closure of Cinesias' dilemma. As well, with every entry into the acropolis, Myrrhini takes just a little longer efore she comes back outside, so as to make the cock-roasting more effective.

Cinesias To the audience. After the sound of the gate slamming behind Myrrhini, the tone of his voice belies the message of his words.

I can see she really loves me... a lot...

Myrrhini comes back with a mattress.

You lie down darling and I'll quickly strip off.

Cinesias is about to lie down.

Myrrhini Oh, no! How awful! No sheet! I must go and get a sheet!

Cinesias Sheet? What sheet? Oh, nononononono! No, no, no! No sheet for me!

Myrrhini Yes, darling, sheets! It's so vulgar and uncomfortable to do it on the bare cords of the mattress!

Cinesias Well... give me a kiss then!

Myrrhini Here. Mmmm!

Cinesias Oh, do be quick then, sweetheart! Get the sheet, hurry!

Myrrhini goes off again. Cinesias is pacing up and down with roasting temper until she returns.

You lie down, darling and I'll undress. Cinesias attempts to lie down but he's again stopped by Myrrhini's new discovery. Oh no! Not again! You've no pillow, sweetheart!

Cinesias Pillow? Pillow? I certainly don't need a pillow, darling!

Myrrhini Yes, but I do!

Myrrhini goes off again

Cinesias To the audience and pointing at his jolting prick

My God, this prick! It's worse than starving Hercules, waiting for his lunch.

He lies down waiting, with his phallus pointing at the sky. Myrrhini enters with a pillow.

Myrrhini Up you hop, dear! She puts the pillow under his head then looks around Now, have I got everything?

Cinesias Absolutely everything. Now come down here, my little golden girl! 930

Myrrhini Coming, darling. I'm just going to undo these little titty straps and then... but you won't forget the Peace treaty, now, will you? Don't you cheat me on that!

Cinesias May God strike me dead if I do, dear!

Myrrhini Another discovery

Ah, but look! You don't have a blanket, darling!

Cinesias I don't want a blanket! I want a fuck! A fuck! A fuuuuck!

Of course you do, darling, and that's just what you'll get... in a minute. I'll be right back!

Myrrhini runs off again.

Cinesias That person will kill me with all this bedding stuff!

Myrrhini returns with blanket and throws it over Cinesias' reclined body, his phallus thoroughly vertical.

Myrrhini This is to help you raise your self, Shaggy!

Cinesias Raise myself? Help me to raise myself? Darling, I've been raised and roused for a long time. I am well and truly raised and roused!

Pretends to get back to her straps but remembers.

Myrrhini Ah! Aromatherapy! That's what we need. Some aromatics, Shaggy?

Cinesias No, no, no! God, no! Oh, no! No aromas, please, Myrrhinaki!

Myrrhini Yes, yes, yes! You must! By Aphrodite, you'll get the beautiful aromas whether you like it or not!

Myrrhini runs off again

Ah, well, let the oils flow, then, oh, Lord, let them flow!

Myrrhini returns with a flask.

Myrrhini Give me your hand, please, Shaggy. He does so and she pours some oil onto it. Now, rub it all over you, darling.

Pooh! Not the nicest of aromas this one, is it, darling? Not exactly an aphrodisiac. Pooh! I don't like this one at all!

Myrrhini Examines the flask

Oh, silly me, silly me! How could I? I've brought you the wrong one.

This is the cheap one from Rhodes. Hold on, sweetheart, I'll get -

Cinesias No, no, it's all right. He grips her hand It's good, really, it's all right! She struggles Grrrrr! She escapes his grip and runs towards the gates Forget all this, bitch!

Darling! You're blubbering!

Myrrhini runs off again.

Cinesias I'll kill the bastard who brewed the first scent!

Myrrhini returns with another flask.

Myrrhini Now, take this alabaster.

Cinesias But I've still got the other one on! Darling, just lie down now and forget all the scents.

Myrrhini Right, Shaggy, darling. I'll do just that... I'm getting my shoes off right now... and you really won't forget about voting for the Peace Treaty, now, will you?

She moves erotically around him and then gently blind-folds him with her scarf. This excites Cinesias but also gives Myrrhini the opportunity to quietly sneak off through the gate.

Cinesias I'll... think about it. Definitely... The gate now slams loudly, fatally, shut. He turns, takes off the blindfold. Oh, my God, she's gone! Ach! That woman has destroyed me! She has rubbed me up and she has rubbed me down and then she went off, leaving me totally excoriated... Shouts and shakes his finger in her direction

I DID NOT HAVE A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT WOMAN!

Oh, what am I going to do? I need someone to screw! I've been diddled by the most beautiful woman of them all.

Looking at his excoriated member

How will I ever feed this little hungry orphan now? Searching the audience Is there a whore keeper in the house? Hey, Fox Doggy! Are you out there? Rent me a titty or two, will you please, mate?

Scene 6

Drakis' men come forward to join Cinesias

Oh, oh, how awwwwful! You poor, poor boy. This sort of cheating rubs one's soul away!

My sympathies to you! Oh, what kidney could ever hope to cope with such a terrible suffering, what soul, what balls, what loins or bum -stretched out like that and missing out on a sunrise fuck?

Cinesias Spasms of his phallus

Oh, my God! Oh, no! Here come the awful cursed, cursed jerks and jolts again! Noooooh!

Phadrias Waits for the spasms to end and then examines the dilemma closely, with covert sexual interest

So... And that's what she's done to you, hey? That totally hateful woman!

Cinesias Ah, but she's such a lovable, sweet, sweet woman! 970

Phadrias Sweet? Sweet, you say?

Cinesias Thinks for a moment, then looks at his painful phallus

No, you're right! Bahhh! She's foul!

Prays to Zeus

Oh, Zeus! Treat that woman like you treat a bundle of straws. Visit her with your typhoons and your tornadoes and your thunderbolts and whiz her all about and spin her all about, and send her high up into the sky, and then... and then suddenly drop her all the way down... splat! Make her wrap herself around this prick!

Enter Spartan herald, stage right. He has an identical problem with that of Cinesias but he's got it hidden beneath his cloak. Phadrias' eyes light up at the sight of the bulge of the herald's right shoulder and at the testicles hanging heavily under his tunic. Phadrias approachesthe herald for another close inspection.

Where's the Athenian Senate or the State House? I have news for them.

Cinesias Points at the bulge under his cloak and laughs

Ho, ho! And what on Earth are you? Are you a human or a Horn God?

Spartan Herald I'm a herald. I've been sent from Sparta about the Peace talks.

Cinesias Pointing at the Herald's dilemma

And that? Is that a spear you're hiding under your arm?

Spartan Herald Twists and turns so as to avoid the inevitable discovery

Oh, no, no, no, it's not! I swear to God!

Cinesias Stay still, then. Why are you turning away from me? What's that sticking out from under your tunic? Blue balls, is it? From the long march?

Spartan Herald Ha! What a crazy man this one is! By Castor, he's nuts!

Cinesias Sly little bastard. You're carrying a stiffy!

Spartan Herald No, I'm not! Not me! Don't be so stupid! What a crazy man he is! 990

Cinesias So, what's this then?

Spartan Herald That's a... that's a... Spartan message rod.

Cinesias Hah! If that's a Spartan message rod then so is this Indicates his own jerking and shuddering phallus

Don't worry friend, I know what's up. You can tell me the truth. How are things with you men in Sparta?

Spartan Herald Moral relaxation ensues after the disclosure but he is still visibly, very uncomfortable... physically.

All of us, Spartans, as well as our allies, we all have stiffies like this one. We all need a fuck!

Cinesias Thoughtfully

Hmmm. And who do you think is to blame for this suffering, Pan?

Spartan Herald Nah, I don't think it's Pan at all. I think it was that Lampito who started it all. Then all the other women in town got together with her and they are keeping us out of their cunts, like chicken wire and the wolves.

Cinesias So, how are you coping with all this then?

Spartan Herald We're all solid stiff! We're all wondering around the city bent-over like lantern carriers. And the women just won't let us get anywhere near their myrtle bush. Not until we men get together and make peace with the rest of Greece. 1006

Cinesias Yes, this is a conspiracy of all the women everywhere. Now, I understand Myrrhini's little tricks. In that case, get back to Sparta, my friend. Get back there as quickly as you can and tell them to send their representatives here with the full power to speak for you all. I'll go to our own Council, here, and select our own negotiators... and I'll point out to them the plight of this here prick!

Spartan Herald I'll be off right away. What you say is absolutely great. 1012

Exit herald SR and Cinesias, SL.

Scene 7

The atmosphere is now softer, more sedate, more conducive to the birth and blossom of a romance... or at least of reconciliation! Stratyllis and her women approach Drakis and his group at centre stage.

Drakis There's no beast nor leopard, no fire more difficult to fight than a woman... Or more ruthless!

Stratyllis: Tenderly

You know this but you still fight us! Isn't it just possible, you silly, silly man, that I could become your faithful, trusty and true friend?

I'll never stop hating women!

Stratyllis: All right then, as you wish. But for now, here! Picks up his shirt I'm not having you wandering around the city naked. Look how ridiculous you look! Here, let me help you put it on. She helps him

Drakis Surprised. Slight remorse

Now, that's a sort of kind thing you've just done! And I... I took it off in such anger, too! Sorry!

Stratyllis It's all right! Now, you look just like you looked before: a real man! Not so stupid!

And if you hadn't been such a pain to me just before, I'd tear that little beastie right out of your eye!

Look, it's still there!

Drakis Is that what's been bugging me all that time? He gives her his ring Here, take this ring and see if you can scrape it out for me, please. Then let me see the damned thing. It's been stinging me for ages!

Stratyllis Yes, all right. I'll do that for you... even though you're such a difficult bastard. 1030

Scrapes the "beastie" out of his eye and points it out to him

Oh, my God! Look at the size of this mosquito! Can you see it? You'd think it's flown over all the way from that swamp hole, Three-Plume City!

Drakis Ah, thanks! Now, that's... real helpful of you. The damned thing's been digging a well in there. Ach! But now that it's out, a whole river of tears is gushing out of my eye!

Stratyllis Here, let me dry them for you. She takes a hanky out of her pocket and wipes his tears

There! And I'll even kiss you, too, you wicked boy!

Drakis No, no kisses! No kisses! But he doesn't resist too vigorously. In fact, his phallus betrays him.

Stratyllis Say what you like, I'm giving you a kiss! Does so MmmmmmmM!

Drakis Ashamed at the disobedience displayed by his phallus

God, damn you women! You're all natural tenderisers. The old saying is true about you pests: You can't live with them and you can't live without them! But I'll still make peace with you and I'll even make a promise to you as well! I promise never to treat you badly... or to accept any bad treatment from you! So let's get our vocals together and sing

this song, hey?

Together To the audience

Hey, folks, don't worry!

We're not getting ready to say anything nasty about you lot.

Not anything nasty to anyone.

Quite the reverse, in fact. We want to say - and do, good things for you!

Och! Enough suffering!

We'd like, in fact, to announce that every man and every woman who's in need of a bit of money, say a mina or two, to... well... to come to us because we've got purses aplenty!

And if and when Peace comes around, all the borrowers can... keep that money!

As well, we'll be inviting some of our Carystian allies to our home this evening. These are all good, honest men, these friends of ours.

We'll have cooked some lovely soup and a whole sow for you!

Yes, a sow!

I've sacrificed her earlier so she'll be nice and tender by then.

So, why not come around?

Ah -BUT!

First, do take yourselves and your kids to the loo for a pee and a poo and while you're at it, have a bath too.

And then... well then... walk right in and take a pew.

You'll need no permission!

Walk right in as if it's your own home!

Be brave, go forth... Because...

Because...

Because, the door will be well and truly...

Well and truly...

And firmly...

Slammed-shut to you! Hahahaha!

Stratyllis and her group retreat.

Scene 8

Enter the Spartan envoy: two delegates, the herald, other free men and a number of slaves.Everyone is encumbered with huge erections which they are trying awkwardly and unsuccessfully to conceal beneath their cloaks.

Drakis Oh, yes! Here are the Spartan negotiators with their flowing long beards and their long... 1070

By God! Is that a whorehouse you've got beneath your cloak, man? My God! It's totally engulfed your crotch! Hahahahaha! Spartans, welcome! Come! Please tell us your story!

Spartan Delegate 1 Ahhhh! What's the use of turning this into an epic of many words, ey?

He looks at the rest of his entourage and together they all lift their cloak

Our story is obvious!

Phadrias Once again jerks his head forward for a closer inspection

Oooooh! It sure is! This tribulation has certainly... intensified.

The inflammation seems to have turned into a conflagration! Dreadful, dreadful, awful business this!

Spartan Delegate 2 Unspeakably dreadful. But what can anyone say? Except, quickly, let someone - anyone, make peace, somehow - anyhow, anywhere...

Enter Polycharides and an Athenian negotiator, both of whom are also visibly affected by the same tribulation. For the first few moments they don't notice the Spartan group.

Good God! Look! I see that our own, local boys are also holding their cloaks at some distance from their bellies. They look like wrestlers, suffering from dreaded affliction, "Wrestler's Donger!"

Polycharides Quick, someone tell us where this Lysistrata is because we are here as men...

Phadrias: Still examining the Athenian phalluses

Ahem! Your affliction seems to be similar to that of these other men, there. Do you also suffer from the dreaded "Morning Jolts and Jerks?"

Drakis Look... Umm... we better be careful about this, men. You better cover all this up, otherwise those uncouth men who had chopped the dicks off the Hermes statues last year and have still not been caught, might be out there, in the audience. You wouldn't want them to see you like that!

Polycharides God, no! Good idea.

They hurriedly try to conceal the protrusions

Spartan Delegate 1: Overhearing the above 1095

Oh, God! Let's put our overcoats on, men, at the double!

Polycharides Notices the Spartans

Ah! Spartans! Welcome Spartan friends. As you can see, we've suffered some shameful things...

Spartan Delegate 1 Polycharides, my friend! We too have suffered terrible things, so let's not allow those prick-thieves see us so well and truly flagellated.

They all fix their cloaks, but the result, of course must still be comical!

Polycharides Right, then, Spartans! Let's talk about what needs to be done. What are you here for? 1100

Spartan Delegate 1 We are here to participate in the Peace talks.

Polycharides Good, so are we. Now... ummm... well, then, why don't we call Miss Lysistrata out here, since she's the only one who can settle our differences.

Spartan Delegate 2 Sure! Call anyone! Even Mister Lysistratos, if you want! I'm not fussy, right now!

Gates of the acropolis open slowly and Lysistrata appears with all her friends.

Athenian Delegate Ah! No need to call her at all, it seems. She's here. She must have heard us.

Drakis Welcome! Welcome, bravest of all the brave! Now, Lysistrata, look! The full cream of Greek men is here so you need to become all things to all of us: terrible, as well as soft; innocent as well as vulgar; demure and sweet as well as a woman... full of experience. We are gripped by your stunning virtues and have forgiven all your evil deeds.

Lysistrata Looks at the sorry state of the men, sneers at their patronising words and addresses her friends.

This job is not too difficult. Not if you get them while they're burning for it, rather than when they're just taking each other's measurements. But, I'll soon find this out what the case is here. Where's Miss Peace?

A beautiful naked woman is brought in. On her body is painted the map of Greece. She is brought to stand next to Lysistrata.

Stratyllis, the Spartans first. Take one of them by the hand. She is about to do so harshly but is stopped by Lysistrata No, Stratyllis don't use a heavy, hurtful, arrogant hand, like our ignorant husbands used on us. Use a sweet, homely hand, a woman's hand. And, if they won't give you their hand then grab them by their prick. And you, Kallyki, you get the Athenian men and bring them here. Grab whatever they offer you. Polycharides refuses to give her his hand so Kallyki is forced to grab his member. Both men are brought to stand next to Miss Peace.

Now, gather round, Spartans, and you, too, Athenians and listen to me The men obey. I am a woman and I have a brain. A brain that isn't too bad, having listened to my father's speeches and the speeches of other elders. The Muse herself didn't do a bad job of educating me either.

So, now that I've got you all here, I'll give it to you straight. I'll tell you all you deserve to hear.

You two: Spartans and Athenians alike! You both have the same altars, which you sprinkle with the same sacred water and by using the same cup. Just like relatives and friends. You do this at Olympia, at Thermopylae and at Pytho as well as a whole lot of other towns. Yet, when the enemy, the barbarian, have gathered their forces all around you, what do you do? You go about with your Greek armies, destroying Greek cities. Why is that?

That's the first point of my speech.

To the women

Pretty good, huh?

Did she say, "Destroying?" God, I'm thoroughly destroyed by my own ever-bulging prick!

Lysistrata: Continuing her speech

Now, I'll speak directly, first to you Spartans, alone. Don't you know about your countryman, Pericleidas? That man came and sat by our altars, in his scarlet cloak, pale as a ghost and begged us for a few men to save Sparta from the Messinians when God had shaken your city with an earthquake and all the helots had revolted. Our own General Cimon came to you then, with four thousand troops and saved you all. And now, now you want to repay our good deed by destroying our land!

Yeah, they sure are unfair, Lysistrata!

Spartan Delegate 1 Who was also caught ogling over the body of Miss Peace

Huh? Ah, oh, yes, Yes, we're guilty, guilty! Returning his attention to the naked body

What a bum, hey? What a remarkably beautiful bum!

Lysistrata: Continuing

And as for you, Athenians. You think I'll let you off? Have you forgotten the days when, because of Hippias and those Thessalians, you were forced to go about wearing those demeaning old clothes dressed as slaves? Don't you remember that the only people who came to fight by your side were the Spartans? It was they who, with a spear in their hand came here and freed you and let you replace those slave's tunics with the fine clothes of free men.

Spartan Delegate 1 I've never seen a more majestic looking woman in my entire life! 1156

Polycharides And I've never seen a more beautiful cunt.

Lysistrata Well then? Why, having done so much good to each other, do you now fight each other? Why don't you just stop all this hatred?

Pointing to Miss Peace

Why not... conciliate?

The two men are dumbstruck at the opportunity

Come on, approach! What's holding you back?

All the men are examining the body of Miss Peace.

Spartan Delegate 1 Pointing at the lower part of the body

We're ready for talks if they'll let us have this bit of the Delta, here.

Lysistrata Which bit?

Spartan Delegate 1 This bit here, Pylos. We've been lusting after this bit for years, caressing it...

Polycharides Absolutely not! You won't be getting Pylos!

Lysistrata Oh, be kind, leave it for them!

Polycharides Well, what do we ask for then?

Lysistrata Ask for any other place instead.

Polycharides Going over the whole body

Mmmmm! Very well, give us... first give us Echinous, around here, at the front... and then goes around her body around the back, Melia's Gulf -mmmm these sweet, sweet apple-like buttocks... as well as both these Megarian thighs here!

Spartan Delegate 1 You've gone mad! We're not giving you everything! 1170

Lysistrata Leave it Spartans. Don't go arguing about thighs now!

Polycharides Now I want to throw myself naked at this beautiful, rich soil and start ploughing straight away!

Spartan Delegate 1 Me too! First thing tomorrow morning I want to spread some... manure -

Lysistrata Sign first, work later! And if you're really planning to do some work, then, first go and deliberate. Think about it carefully, men and then go back to your allies and announce your decisions.

Polycharides What allies, dearie? They're all so horny like us, they'll all come to the exact some decision: to fuck! Every single one of them!

Spartan Delegate 1 I know OUR allies will, that's for sure! 1180

Polycharides Hahaha! And there sure would be no need to ask our oversexed Carystian friends!

Miss Peace is guided back into the acropolis and exits with all the wives.

Lysistrata Well said. For now, though, keep yourselves pure because we women will be bedding you in the Acropolis tonight and we'll be offering you the complete contents of our basket of goodies. In the Acropolis, you can all exchange oaths and pledges to each other and then, afterwards, you may each take his own wife home with him.

Exit Lysistrata through the gates.

Polycharides Right! Let's hurry, then, mates!

Spartan Delegate 1 Lead the way, quick!

Polycharides We're off right now.

All except Stratyllis' group of women have left the stage. (SL) Drakis' men simply retreat to their territory.

Stratyllis To the audience.

To all those children who've been chosen to take part in the basket-carrying ceremonies- listen to me! I'll give you, with all my heart, all my possessions: Embroidered linen, fine clothes and jewellery of gold -everything!

All of you, I say, come get whatever of mine you find inside my home. There's nothing in here that's so securely locked that you can't just break in and take it. Come on! Take it!

Krytilli Hahahaha! But unless your eyes are better than mine, you'll see nothing in there! And... 1200

Kallyki If anyone among you has slaves and children too many to feed and nothing to feed them with, well, you, too, go ahead, come to my house and get some flour. True, it'd be pitiful little grains that you'll find but the loaf of bread they'll bake will be huge -like a virgin's tits.

Rhodippi Oh, yes! All the poor and hungry are welcome if they wish! They're welcome to come to my house with their sacks and their bags and take away all my grain. My slave will help you fill them up himself. But!

Stratyllis Just a little warning beforehand, though!

Krytilli Don't come near my front door!

Rhodippi Beware of the dog! Woof, Woof!

All the women together laugh:

Hahaha!

Hahaha!

Women retreat to their territory.

Scene 9

Night. Loud party noises are heard from within the walls of acropolis. Vagrants aremilling around the walls, attracted by those noises. They have appeared quietly from both sides of the stage. Some are inside the walls and some at the entrance. Suddenly there's banging against the door. Voice of Polycharides and other men, shouting at the vagrants.

Open the door! Open the door, you! Move out of the way!

Doors open and Athenian Delegates, Cinesias and some others come out. They are carrying torches, are happily inebriated and their penises have obviously been appeased.

Polycharides To the vagrants

Move out of the way! Hey you! What are you sitting around here for? Want me to scorch your bum with my torch?

Shouts from the two groups of men and women and from the other delegates, "yeah, yeah!"

Polycharides To the audience

What an utterly vernacular routine! No, I won't do this! It's absolutely old routine this! Worn out through and through. I won't do it.

Drakis and his men Scorch his bum, burn his balls, scorch his bum, burn his balls!

Polycharides To the audience. Relents.

Oh, all right then, if you insist! Just for your very own gratification, we'll take up that extra burden in our work.

Charges towards a vagrant. Drakis, Stratyllis and other members of the two groups join in the pursuit.

Drakis And we'll help you with that bit of extra burden... Piss off you! Run, or you'll be mourning the loss of your long hair! 1221

Polycharides Go on, piss off, I said. When the Spartans come out after their feast, we want them to leave in peace. So, piss off!

The vagrants exit in terror, both sides of the stage, pursued by men on SL and Women, SR

Athenian Delegate I've never seen such a wonderful drinking party! Such joyful men, these Spartans, hey? And us? We are the wisest of men after a drink or two.

Polycharides That's right., of course! Too true, my friend. I'm certain of that!

Abstinence of alcohol -of anything really- makes the brain go sick. I'm very certain of that and if I knew how, I could persuade all the Athenians. I'd tell them that! I'd tell them that from now on we should not go off on diplomatic missions unless we are drunker than a brewer's fart! Not a moment sooner! Because now, when we go to Sorta sporta, I mean to Sparta sober that's what I think I mean- well, when we get there, we immediately go looking for things to stir up trouble with, and so whenever they say something, we don't listen and when they don't say anything we hear all sorts of things they didn't say; and then, and then, afterwards we come here and we announce all sorts of other things again. But tonight, tonight, however we were all happy with all things, to every things... to the point where if someone had decided to sing one of those swar wongs -I mean war shongs, of Telamon's instead of one of those peash shongs of Cleitagoras, which we should have been singing, seeing this was a piss, I mean peace party, we still praised him and even swore by his talent.

Vagrants enter again

O. Lord, they're back again. I said pish off, you! Get off, you whip stick whacker -wanker!

Drakis and Stratyllis pursue them again until the vagrants leave the stage from both sides. The two groups stand at their territory.

Sounds of drunk men and music approaching from within the walls

Ah, here come the Shpartians! Very good chaps, those boys! Good drinking mates! Every shingle one of them. 1240

Enter the Spartan delegates, also happily drunk and also inguinally appeased. One of them throws his arm around the other who is holding a flute.

Spartan Delegate 1 To his friend, the flute player.

Oh, ho! My very delicious -I mean, my delightful- friend! Pick up your little stick with all its little blowholes there and I'll... I'll pick up my two feet and we'll dance and sing a good shlong for all our Athenian friends here and... for all of us, there, hey? I mean, here, too!

Polycharides Come on, friend, lift up your little holey polies all the way up to the gods. God, I love to watch you lot dance!

Spartan Herald Sings and dances drunkenly

Quick, Memory! Quickly rush over here! Memory! rush your Muse to this youth here pointing to the audience Your Muse knows these Athenians well. She knows about their battle at Artemisium. How like gods, these men lifted their sails to charge at the Persians and how they defeated them. And we! Leonidas led us by the husks like one leads a wild boar. Sweat soaked our beards and thighs. More Persians there than grains of sand on the shore.

Oh, Artemis, Killer of beasts, virgin Goddess of all things and manner wild! Come here and aid our pledges, that they may last a long time. And help this rich friendship hold fast these agreements. And make us forget the old, tricky, conniving, foxy dialectics! Oh, come to us, come to us, oh, Virgin Huntress!

Enter Lysistrata leading the band of wives, Caloniki, Myrrhini, Lampito, the Boetian and the Corinthian as well as the Skythian woman.

Lysistrata Now, then. Since you've brought everything to a satisfactory conclusion, you, Spartans, can take your women home with you. Each husband stand by his wife and each wife by her husband and all together let us now show our respect to the deities with a dance, so that we may never, ever sin again.

Waits until they all get ready...

Finale ...During which process they arrange themselves, most conspicuously, thus: Myrrhini snuggles up to Cinesias -penis visibly placated now- Lampito with the first Spartan delegate, Drakis with Stratyllis, Kallyki with Philourgos and Lysistrata with... Caloniki. Phadrias with one of the Spartan delegates, the Boetian and Corinthian women with each other, or with various others as per director's discretion. They all hold hands and begin the dance and the singing.

Let's begin the dance and invite all the Graces, and Artemis and her twin brother, gentle Apollo, the healer and Dionysos of Nysos who shines in the frenzied eyes of his attendants, the Maenads, and Zeus with his blazing flame and his blessed bed-mate, Hera as well as the rest of the gods.

Let them all come as witnesses so that we'll never forget this peace which the wise Goddess Aphrodite has made for us.

All together Oh yea, oh yea, oh yea! Raise the dicks! Cock them up, oh yea, oh yea, oh yea! For the sake of Victory, yea, oh yea, hoorahae, hoorahae, hoorah!

Polycharides Your turn Spartan! Show us what your Muse is made of! Back-to-back with ours.

Spartan Delegate 1 Raises his hands in prayer

Oh Muse of the Spartans!

Leave the fair peaks of our mountain, Taygetos behind you and come here, to sing with us a hymn extolling Amyclae's God, fair Apollo, and to Athena of the Bronze Abode and to the fine sons of Tyndareus, Castor and Polydeuces whose playground is by the waters of Eurotas.

Oh ho! Jump high! Leap and fly!

Oh you Spartans, makers of high-flying songs and dances! Dance for the gods and stomp your feet like roosters! Oh, ho!

By the sweet waters of Eurotas our young girls twist and turn their feet and shake their graceful Locks like fillies and like Bacchus' lovers they play and sway their... wands, led by Helen, Leda's daughter, a leader pure and proper.

Come, Spartans, lead us into the dance! Turn those curls with your hands in your hair, flick high your fff-fawn-like feet and come, stir up some noise... much noise to give this dance its soul.

Sing!All of you! Come, sing to please the Goddess, Omnipotent Athena of the Bronze Abode!

End of Aristophanes' "LYSISTRATA"

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Aristophanes (c.446-c.386 BC) - Lysistrata: Translated by George Theodoridis

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Written in 411BCE 'Aristophanes' - "Greek Dramas" (p355, 1900): Internet Archive Book Images Translated by George Theodoridis © Copyright 2000, all rights reserved - Bacchicstage This work may be freely reproduced, stored and transmitted, electronically or otherwise, for any NON-COMMERCIAL purpose. For use by any theatrical, educational or cinematic organisation, however, including a non-commercial one, permission must be sought.

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Professor Mary Beard looks beyond the stories of emperors, armies, guts and gore to meet the everyday people at the heart of ancient Rome's vast empire.

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Professor Mary Beard looks beyond the stories of emperors, armies, guts and gore to meet the everyday people at the heart of ancient Rome’s vast empire

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Have a go at reading Sophocles' Oedipus Rex. What is the most interesting encounter between two characters in this tragedy, and why do you think so?

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"OEDIPUS REX"

First performed around 429BCE

'Sophocles' - "Greek Dramas" (p149, 1900): Internet Archive Book Images

Translated by George Theodoridis © Copyright 2005, all rights reserved - Bacchicstage

This work may be freely reproduced, stored and transmitted, electronically or otherwise, for any non-commercial purpose. Conditions and Exceptions apply. For use by any theatrical, educational or cinematic organisation, however, including a non-commercial one, permission must be sought.

Under no circumstances should any of this work be used as part of a collage, which includes the work of other writers or translators.

✯

Dramatis Personae

OEDIPUS (King of Thebes)

ATTENTANDS TO OEDIPUS (Later to Creon)

JOCASTA (Queen of Thebes)

VARIOUS ATTENDANTS TO HER

CREON (Jocasta's brother)

TEIRESIAS (A blind prophet)

A YOUNG BOY (Teiresias' guide, Silent)

CHORUS OF THEBAN ELDERS

ISMENE (Antigone and Ismene are daughters and sisters to Oedipus)

✯

ACT ONE

In front of King Oedipus' palace, in Thebes.

The palace stands three or four steps above the rest of the stage and on either side of it there is a small but obvious altar. The altar at SL is dedicated to Apollo (Jocasta will make use of this) and that on SR to Zeus (used by the Chorus)

While stage is dark, we hear the soft but ominous sounds of ancient drums and a flute, mingled with the many loud groans of hunger and pain as well as calls for Oedipus' help:

Voices In supplication

Oedipus! Oedipus our Lord, help us! Help your people!

The calls overwhelm the drums and for a moment the drums are heard only faintly.

Small pause before the stage is overwhelmingly lit, symbolising a land ravaged by drought and heat and the assertive and brutal presence of the god Apollo.

Apart from the palace props and the altars at the back, the stage is empty. The sound of the ancient drums rises again. No voices.

Small pause.

The lights are switched on again, and again at an overwhelming intensity.

This group of Thebans comprise all ages and both sexes. They show suffering and exhaustion under the intense heat.

Standing in front of them, is the Priest. He is holding a priest's staff, which, like the seer's has a thick rope of cotton wrapped around its upper end.

Chorus Oedipus! Oedipus our Lord, help us! Help your people!

The centre door of the palace opens and Oedipus enters. He wears the golden garland and staff of a king. He is a proud but benevolent, kindly king and is recognised as such by his subjects.

Oedipus What is it, my children? You, my children, are the youngest generation of the ancient house of Cadmus. What is causing all these cries of anguish, all this waving of prayer branches? Their scent has filled the air of our city! All this lamentation, these deep sighs of misfortune. What are they about?

Well? Here I am! You have me here in person and I have come to you so that I can find out what it is that gives you this pain, directly from you, from your own mouths, rather than risk any mistakes that might be made by a third person.

Speak, sons and daughters of old Cadmus, you are talking to me, Oedipus! You all know me!

To the priest

You, old priest, your advanced years well qualify you to represent this youth. Tell me then, what has brought you all here? Is there something you are afraid of? Is there something you need from me? Tell me and it will certainly be granted! Otherwise what sort of a man would I be if I had not enough compassion to help you, you, my very own folk, with all my heart? 10

Priest King of our Thebes, Oedipus!

Look at us! We are all here, gathered around your altars, praying. See? All the ages of men are here: the youth, whose wings have yet to spread wide enough for flying far and the old men whose head and back are bent with years - like me, Oedipus, me, Zeus' priest!

And look there! Look at our youth! The best stock of men in the world! We are all gathered here. Here and in the city, too, around both the temples of our Goddess Athena, and by the fires inside Apollo's temple, and by the altars of Ismenos whose oracles emerge from ashes. There is plenty of kneeling and lamenting and deep sighing going on there as well, my lord! There, too, Oedipus, the laurels are waved in supplication.

But, you, too, Oedipus, with your own eyes, you can see how the whole of Thebes is in the grips of a battering sea storm of troubles and how she cannot raise her head from its murderous waves! You too, can see that our trees let drop their best flowers to the ground just before they become fruit; that our herds drop dead as they graze and our women have all become barren.

A despicable pestilence, my lord, has taken our Thebes within its murderous grip!

As if some fire-carrying god has swooped upon our land, hollowing out our homes while at the same time, cluttering the house of Black Hades with our moans and our cries of despair.

We are not saying, Oedipus, that you are equal to the gods but we have come to you and have gathered around your altars, because, out of all the men we know, we think you are the best in working out the meaning of these hardships that have been tossed upon us, by life and by the gods.

It was you, Oedipus, who came here, to our Thebes, to the land of Cadmus and who has saved us from the grips of that witch, that Sphinx, who held us all inside here, within the walls of the city, in dreadful fear.

You did not do this with our help, Oedipus but with the help of some divine intervention. With your act, you've let us live proper lives again.

And now, great Oedipus! We fall before you in prayer and ask you to find, if you can, some remedy for our pains, either from some man's wisdom or some god's voice because I can see that the thoughts of experienced men are always the wisest. 40

Come then, our Lord and King! Come, first among all mortals! Make our Thebes live again! Remember, my Lord, this city calls you "saviour" because of your past act of generosity. Let us not ever in the future think that "by Oedipus' generosity we were saved but by Oedipus lack of action we died." Let us instead say, "Oedipus raised us to our feet yet again!"

You were driven here to our aid by a bright omen many years ago, so let it drive you to us once again! Because, Oedipus, if you wish to rule this city, and I know you do, then it is far better to rule it when it is filled with men rather then when it is scraped hollow of them. No tower, no ship is worth anything if it is bereft of men.

Oedipus My poor children! 58

I know you well, all of you and I know well your pain. I know very well that you are all gripped by despair. Yet no one is in greater pain than I am because your pain affects only you, each one of you, alone, whereas I ache for the whole city and for all of you. So have no fear, I'm not asleep. I am wade awake to your misfortune. My soul cries for us all. I have lost many tears and have travelled many paths of thought to find a way out of this until, finally, I have decided to put into action the only possible solution that came to my mind: I have sent Creon, my wife's brother, Menoikeos' son, to Apollo's oracle to ask what we should do to save our city; to find out what deed or what word should we do or say to save our country.

In fact, Creon should have returned by now and I'm beginning to worry. Let him come and tell us what needs to be done. Then I would indeed be a terrible man if I did not do all that the god asks!

They all look into the distance and see Creon approaching.

Priest You judge time well, Oedipus. There he is! The chorus points towards Creon in the distance.

Oedipus By Apollo! His face looks happy enough! Perhaps he is carrying good news! News that will save our city. 80

Priest He certainly looks happy, otherwise he wouldn't be wearing such a splendid garland of Laurel!

Oedipus We'll know soon enough. He's close enough to hear us now.

Enter Creon wearing a laurel garland with berries. They shake hands

My royal brother! What news from Apollo?

Creon Good news! That is to say, I think that even the worst events could bring good fortune if fortune wills it!

Oedipus You're not making yourself clear, brother. What did the oracle say? 90

Creon Shall I speak out here, in front of all these people, or shall we go inside? I don't mind either way.

Oedipus Speak here, in front of them. I mourn for their lives more than I do for my own.

Creon Then I'll tell you what the god said and it is this: There's a wound that eats at the very heart of our city's soul. A wound that has been allowed to grow and fester insideThebes. Apollo commands us to purge the city of it before it becomes incurable.

Oedipus A wound? What sort of wound is this and how can we purge the city of it?

Creon By banishing that murderer or by washing away the blood of that murder with the blood of another murder. It is this blood that tortures Thebes. 100

Oedipus And which man is the god talking about?

Who is it who has been murdered?

Creon Once we had a king called Laius...

Oedipus I know of him though I never saw him.

Creon He was murdered and it is those murderers whom Apollo now demands to have punished.

Oedipus And where are these men? How can one find the clues to such an old crime?

Creon Here, inside Thebes, Apollo said! 110

In Thebes one can find whatever one looks for but that which he neglects, escapes him.

Oedipus Where then has Laius fallen? Within the palace walls? In the fields? Or upon the soil of some other land? Where was his murder committed?

Creon He said he was going to the oracle himself but he never managed to return.

Oedipus Has no one else managed to bring news of his death or does none of his attendants have any light to shed upon this dreadful deed?

Creon All but one of them fled and he could only say one thing.

Oedipus One thing? Such as what? Tell us! From that one single thing we might be able to learn a great deal. It might well be the beginning of some hint of hope! Tell us! 120

Creon Well, that man said Laius was murdered by the hands of many thieves.

Oedipus Thieves? How could thieves be so daring? Unless they were paid by some traitor from in here?

Creon That's what we were wondering also but since Laius' disappearance no one came to help us in this great misfortune.

Oedipus What could have stopped you? What fear stopped you from finding out how your king was murdered?

Creon The Sphinx, Oedipus! She has twisted our minds with her puzzle songs and made us stop searching. We could only see the obvious and could never look for any hidden clues. 130

Oedipus Then I shall start from the beginning again and bring everything to the light. You've done well, you and Apollo, to take up the cause again. It is fair then that I should be your partner in this cause, to help Thebes and Apollo at the same time.

This wound, this wound hurts me as well as my friends and so I need to heal it. Because the hand of Laius' murderer could murder me as well and so, by avenging his death, I gain also.

Come then, my children! Stand up from these steps. Gather all the branches and pray no more. Let someone gather all our folks here and I will do everything in my power to heal this murderous wound. With Apollo's help, either we win or we die.

Priest Come, stand up my children. We've got what we have come for. Apollo, who has sent his oracle will save us and will heal our city's awful wound.

Exit Oedipus, Creon and the citizens.

Stage becomes dark again, long enough for the chorus of elders to come and stand around the altars. They are dressed in black, except for their leader who is dressed in white.

Light now normal.

Flute more prominent than the drum and more placatory.

Small pause before the chorus speaks. It is addressing Zeus at his altar.

Chorus Sweet voice of Zeus that came to us through Apollo's golden temple: What are you saying to the people of our glorious Thebes? 151

Chorus Shudders run through my heart with fear and my mind is unclear.

Chorus Apollo, god of healing, god from Delos, I dread the message you bring to us.

Chorus What past deed must we pay for now? What do we owe to the past?

Chorus Tell us, child of Golden Hope, of the love that is as wide as the sky!

Chorus Immortal Athena! Zeus' daughter! I call on you first!

Chorus And to your sister, who is our protector, the goddess Artemis, whose throne is the magnificent earth and in whose temples we Thebans pray.

Chorus And you, too, Apollo whose arrows never miss!

Chorus Come, all three of you. You've come to our aid before and you have swept aside the flames of our catastrophe.

Come again now!

Chorus Save us, gods!

Chorus Countless are my sufferings. The whole nation is suffering from this wound, from this murderous plague and we see no way to be rid of it. 168

Chorus No crops on the land, no children follow the women's birth-pains.

Chorus And our souls, hasten to beat one another, like fast birds, in their race to get, like a wild fire, to Dark Hades.

Chorus The city is dying from her countless pains, gods!

Chorus There the children die and left upon the earth unburied, uncried for, uncleansed, polluting our city.

Chorus Women, young and old, fully grey, are spread in deep prayer upon the steps of altars.

Chorus They pray with deep sighs for their bitter sufferings.

Chorus The laments fill the air, the loud cries of pain, full of loss - against all this, worthy daughter of Zeus, send us your sweet aid.

Chorus And Zeus! Make Ares the winged god of war turn his back and leave this land! 190

Chorus Here he is before us all, no bronze shields but still he runs wild in the clamour and the hurt! Make him run away! Make this god of war and all his destruction leave ourThebes!

Chorus Send him away either to the vast watery chambers of Amphitriti or to the storm-eaten, hostile shores of Thrace because here, what the night leaves untouched, the day destroys.

Chorus Send your burning bolt to him, Zeus. Burn him, master of the thunderbolts.

Chorus You, too, Apollo! I ask you to give us aid and protection. Let your untamed arrows leave their golden bow and you, too Artemis come with your burning torches. Leave your Lycian hills and come to us!

Chorus And bright-eyed Bacchus, master of the maenads. Let him come also with a burning torch, to send away the most odious of all gods.

Enter Oedipus.

Oedipus You've asked me to come and help you. So speak and whatever it is you need you shall have. My words and your help will give us strength enough to heal this despicable wound. I speak to you as a stranger to this place and, as I am told, to the evil deed. Alone and with divine sign, I'd have no hope of finding any clues that have to do with this crime. 216

Now that I've become one of you, though, I shall talk to you all.

If anyone knows anything about whose hand it was that had murdered Labdakus' son, Laius, I order him to reveal everything. Even if it were his own hand, let him speak because no harm will come to him save for exile. Let him not be afraid. He will leave our land untouched.

Also, if someone knows that the murderer is from another country, let him not be silent also because not only will I give him a reward but his help will be remembered. 230

If, however, either due to fear for a friend or for himself someone does not disclose the murderer, hear me! This is what I will do: No matter who this man is, I forbid everyone here, in Thebes where I have my throne, to receive him as a guest to his home, or to talk with him or to pray with him or conduct any sacrifices with him, to any god! And I also forbid him to offer him sacred ablutions.

Let everyone of you send him away from your house because, as Apollo's oracle has declared, he is this wound which is spreading inside the very soul of our city.

Such an ally I am to Apollo and to Laius.

As for the evil doer, I curse him and whether it was he alone, or with the help of others that he has caused our wound, let him live a wretched life.

Even if he were someone in my own household, among my own folks and even if I happen to know who it is, then let me suffer all that my curse has delivered upon the murderer.

This then I command you to do for me and for Apollo and for Thebes. 252

Unfortunate Thebes! Barren land, godless land, a land too much wasted.

Thebans, if the god does not make clear who this murderer is, it's not proper that you should keep it hidden in the dark. Find the murderer! He is the murderer of your glorious King. Search for him everywhere. Everywhere! I am here with you and I am sitting upon his throne. I am sharing his bed and his wife. I have the children he would have had if he were alive and the father of an heir. I share his brothers.

His Fate has dealt him a heavy blow, yet I shall try to do my best for him.

I shall try everything for his sake, as if he were my own father.

I shall try everything to catch his murderer, the murderer of Laius, son of Polydorus and of Labdacus and of ancient Aginorus.

For those who don't like what I have just said, curses to you. Let no god make your soil or your women fertile. Let all your belongings go the way of disaster. To you, real Cadmian souls, you, real Thebans, who heeded my words, holy Justice and the rest of the gods will be your allies.

Chorus Oedipus, all these curses of yours force me to speak. I, myself, have neither killed old Laius nor do I know who did. All this is Apollo's business and one day he'll disclose for us the evil hand. 276

Oedipus Quite right, old man; but no mortal can force a god's mouth.

Chorus Then I have another thought for you.

Oedipus That one and another still, if you have any more. By all means, speak!

Chorus My Lord, I know a mortal who sees as excellently as Apollo. Teiresias, the seer who would know the answers to all these things if one were only to ask him.

Oedipus Yes, yes, I know of him and I have not neglected that action either. By Creon's suggestion I've sent two men to fetch him. He should well and truly be here by now!

Chorus There are other things to consider also but they are old and meaningless.

Oedipus Other things? What are these other things? Tell me because I weigh every word!

Chorus It is said that Laius was killed by travellers.

Oedipus I've heard that too. Yet no one saw the murderer with his own eyes.

Chorus Still, once he hears your curses, fear might get the better of him and come forth.

Oedipus Men who are not afraid of the deed are not afraid of the word. 296

Enter the blind seer, Teiresias, holding the staff which distinguishes him as a seer, ie, it has a thin rope of cotton wool wrapped around its top end. He is also guided by the hand of a young boy and by the two men whom Oedipus has sent to fetch him.

The two men bow to Oedipus and exit.

Chorus Here he is, king. He will point out the murderer to you. They've brought him here for you because he, alone, knows the truth.

Oedipus Blessed seer! You see and judge all things, those that are known and those that have not been explained; those of the heavens and those of the earth. Teiresias, you might not be able to see but you can certainly sense how ill our land is. You, holy man, are the only one who, we think, can be her protector and saviour.

If you have not heard already, Apollo has commanded us to find Laius' murderers and either kill them or send them far from Thebes. That is the only way this wound in our city will heal.

Yet, if you have some knowledge, from some sign from the birds or from some other medium of visions, don't hold it from us. Save us, save Thebes, save the Thebans, save me and save yourself. Rid this shame born by the murdered king. We are your servants. To help Thebes, by whichever means one can, is a virtuous effort.

Oh, how brutal! How hideous it is! How loathsome is knowledge when it does not help its possessor! Horrible! I knew this well! I knew the cause of your invitation, yet I've made the mistake of obeying your order! I should not have come.

Oedipus What is it old man? What's wrong? Why such hostility?

Teiresias Let me go home, Oedipus! For your sake and mine, let me go home.

Oedipus Come now, Teiresias! You are being unfair and unkind to the city that has raised you. Don't hold back your vision.

Teiresias And I do so because I can see well where your ill-timed words will take you and I do not want to be your companion in that journey.

Oedipus No! No Teiresias! Don't leave! If you know something about our pain tell us. With great respect, we beg you!

Teiresias You! All of you! You know nothing! You... you know nothing!

No, I will not speak. Ever! I will not speak! I do not want you to know what sufferings you will have to carry!

Oedipus What? You know something and yet you remain silent? Do you want to send us and our country to absolute destruction? 330

Teiresias Me? I have no need to hurt neither you nor me. Ask me nothing more. You'll learn nothing from me.

Oedipus So you won't speak? Not ever? Wretched man!

You would raise the anger inside a heartless stone, you would, Teiresias! Is this how you will take your heart to your grave? A stone without remorse?

Teiresias You scorn and point at my own anger, yet yours - your anger, King, your anger, which lives in there, in your own heart, that anger you do not see. So do not send curses upon me, my lord!

Do not insult me!

Oedipus Who would not? Who would not curse you for saying the things you do against our city?

Teiresias Those... "things" will emerge of their own will, even if I stay silent. 340

Oedipus So, speak then! Tell us what things will emerge.

Teiresias Enough! Enough! No more! Churn up all the wrath you want. All the wrath you want!

Oedipus Well then! Alright! I will leave nothing unsaid in my wrath. And I say to you then, old man, that in my mind I have you as one of those who has helped in Laius' murder! Yes, old man! You have worked with them. Perhaps even you, yourself, have committed the deed! Indeed, if you had eyes that could see I would have said you did the deed all alone!

Teiresias Really! Are these the thoughts inside your wrath? 350

So! I ask you then to continue with your proclamation but there is no need for you speak to me nor to them (indicating the chorus) from now on, because... because the wound that has ravaged this city, is you! You are the wound itself! You are what has polluted this city! You are the wound and you are the murderer!

Oedipus Look with what blunt effrontery he uttered these words!

Stupid man! Where do you think you will hide their consequence?

Teiresias I have already hidden them. I have hidden them inside the power of truth! Truth, which I love and which I nurture.

Oedipus And who taught you to utter these words? Surely you did not learn all this from your practice as a prophet?

Teiresias Who? Why, it was you who taught them to me. It was you who has forced me to utter them.

Oedipus What were the words again? Say them so that I know them even better.

Teiresias Did you not understand them before or are you joking with me? 360

Oedipus No, no! Truly, say them again. I want to understand them well. Repeat the words!

Teiresias Let me tell you then, plainly and with no equivocation.

The murderer you seek, Oedipus, is you!

Oedipus Oh! You will not insult me twice without punishment!

Teiresias Shall I utter yet something else? Something to raise your ire even more?

Oedipus Utter all you want. It will be in vain. 365

Teiresias Well then, I utter these words: In your ignorance, you conduct the vilest acts with those closest to you. Vile acts of which you are ignorant and which you cannot see.

Oedipus Do you think you will always be happy uttering words like these?

Teiresias Sure, if truth has some power.

Oedipus Truth does. Truth has a great deal of power but not for you. Because you are blind not only in the eyes but in the ears and in your mind as well. 370

Teiresias And you? You curse me, you wretched man but very soon these men will be cursing you!

Oedipus You can hurt no one, old man. You can hurt neither me nor anyone else who has eyes and can see. Your food bowl, old man, is the never-ending darkness!

Teiresias Making as if to leave

Your Fate does not have you falling by my hand, Oedipus. No, Apollo will take care of that. He will take care of your fall.

Oedipus As if he just discovered something

Hold! Are these, these revelations you have just uttered - have they come out of your own head or out of Creon's?

Teiresias The fault is your own, Oedipus, not Creon's.

Oedipus Oh, yes! It is Creon's all right! 380

Wealth! Royalty! To be a king one needs skill! Skill that surpasses all other skills. To be a king is a much envied life. How much hatred is hidden within this work!

I've been given all this without my asking it, yet Indicating the palace Creon, once my first and trusted friend, now seeks to take it all from me, sliding and hiding behind this scheming seer, this charlatan, this deviser of magic traps, who has eyes for a profit but not for his art.

Come then, my seer! Tell us: of what consists your qualification? Where were you when the Great Bitch, that Sphinx who sang her deadly puzzles outside this city and who needed the art of a genuine seer to answer those puzzles, where were you then? Why did you not save the city then? Where were your gods then? Where were your birds? 390

It was I! Yes I, Oedipus, who knew nothing of such things who shut that monster's mouth; not by magic or by signs of birds but by my own brain.

So! Here you are, now! Intending to send me away from here, hoping to hang around Creon's throne! For this outrage, Teiresias, you shall pay with tears; you, Teiresias and he, the chief plotter. And were it not for your advanced years, hard pain would be your teacher. 400

Chorus I think, King that both of you spoke in anger. This is no time for such talk. Rather, we shall try and work out Apollo's oracle.

Teiresias King or not, if I am to answer your questions, I need to be your equal. In fact it is my right to claim this equality because I am not your servant but the servant of Apollo and I have no need for Creon's patronage.

You berate me for being blind, yet I tell you that even though you have eyes, you cannot see in what evil circumstance you live, nor do you know where you live or even with whom you live.

Ha! Do you even know whose son you are? Do you know, Oedipus that you are the enemy of your people, both, here on Earth as well as below in Hades? The doubly sharp curse of mother and father will come one day with an angry foot and chase you away, outside this city, with your eyes bereft of light and clogged with darkness.

What place on earth will not have heard your groans of pain then?

And once you find out to what harbour of misery your wedding has brought you that fine day, well then, what spot in the whole of Kitheron will not hear the echo of your groans?

And with your children! You have no idea the multitude of troubles that will crash upon you once you find out about your children!

Go ahead! Insult Creon now if you want, and insult my mouth also because no one in the world will be destroyed in a worse way than you!

How much more of this can anyone hear?

Leave! Go on, leave! Still here?

Go home! I order you! And stay well away from me! Well away! Do you hear?

Teiresias Had you not called for me, Oedipus I would not be here in the first place.

Oedipus Nor would I have called you here had I known you would be talking sheer, stupid nonsense!

Oedipus Gave birth to me? Who are you taking about? Stay! Tell me this, then, who was it who gave birth to me? And when?

Teiresias It is today! Today will be both, the day of your birth and of your death.

Oedipus How dark and puzzling your words are, old man!

Teiresias Did you not say you are great at solving puzzles?

Oedipus You insulted me for every one of my qualities.

Teiresias It is your very Fate who has declared your destruction. A Fate that gave you success will now give you pain.

Oedipus If I have saved this city I am content.

Teiresias Let me leave then. Come boy, give me your hand.

Oedipus Boy, guide him! You are a hindrance to me here. 445

Leave so that you won't cause me any more grief.

Teiresias I will leave after I say the things I came to say. I do not fear your angry face. My Fate has not declared that I shall die by your hand.

Let me say this to you then: The man whom you are hunting with curses and threats for Laius' murder is right here. In here!

He is thought of as a foreigner, an alien but he will be found to be a true Theban. Born right here! And this discovery will not make him happy. Because from someone who now has eyes, he will soon be wandering blindly, in utter poverty and studying the ground with a blind man's stick.

Ah, and his children!

To his children he will discover that he is both brother and father.

To the woman who gave birth to him he is son and husband and to his father, both, a sharer of his bed and his murderer.

Go into your palace then, king Oedipus and think about these things and if you find me a liar then you can truly say I know nothing of prophesies.

Exit Oedipus into the palace.

Teiresias with his guide also exit towards the city.

Chorus I wonder whose murderous hand it is that Delphi's prophetic rock said committed this most incredible of all incredible deeds? 462

Chorus Time for him now to flee this place, flee faster than flying mares, faster than the wind.

Chorus I see Apollo, the son of Zeus, armed with flames and lightning, hard behind him, pursuing him fiercely!

Chorus Look! He is followed by the awesome, unfailing Furies!

Chorus Only a minute ago the command came from the snowy tips of Parnassus to hunt down the hiding murderer. There, the man, deserted, wanders like a wild bull from cave to cave, from rock to rock, far from the paths of men, far from earth's heart, where the curses, where the Erinyes, will not find him. But they, fully alive, constantly speed their wings around him.

Chorus Yet, the wise seer troubles me! Should I believe him? Should I not? I have no idea what to think of this and my brain flies this way and that without being able to see neither ahead of me or behind. 483

Chorus What conflict I wonder brought Labdakus' generation against Polybos' son? Thebes against Corinth! Why? I never knew the answer to this question before, nor do I know it now. Who murdered Laius?

Chorus Who knows? I know nothing! Nothing with which I may condemn our current king and thus avenge Laius' death.

Chorus Men's deeds are known only by Zeus and by his son, Apollo! Only the gods are privy to our deeds! To say a seer knows more than I do is false. Men are each other's better in only one thing: wisdom. As for the murder, myself, I'll only believe the proven word and nothing less.

Chorus We saw it all! Out there, the winged Sphinx had asked him all her riddles and his answers proved him wise and so, justly then, he was proclaimed our city's loving friend.

No! My mind will not declare him evil!

Enter Creon

Creon Men of Thebes! I've heard that Oedipus has besmirched my name with heavy accusations. This I will not tolerate! If he thinks that all these troubles our city is suffering right now are caused by some evil word of mine or some deed, well then, let me tell you that, no, I'd rather be dead -cut my life's string short then do such a thing. Because such accusations cause enormous harm to a citizen if the whole city, including his friends believes them. 512

Chorus Creon, perhaps this condemnation was uttered in the heat of anger rather than from the thinking mind.

Creon He says the seer uttered false predictions and that these predictions were advised by me.

Chorus Yes, I don't know why Oedipus said that.

Creon And did he honestly believe these accusations of his?

Chorus I have no idea. I can never tell what thoughts run through the minds of leaders. 530

Enter Oedipus

Ah, here's the man himself!

You!

The audacity of the man! You dare live in the chambers of my palace and you dare work plots against my throne, against my very life, and you do all this in the bright light of day, obvious to all who have eyes to see! By Apollo! Tell me, is it because you thought I was a weakling or a fool that you have put such ideas into your head? Or did you think that I would never discover this sinister plot of yours or that I would be too weak to escape it?

Let me teach you something, my brother-in-law, Creon: Such plots, plots to overthrow a king need the strength of people and purse; Only stupid men don't know this!

Creon Give me my turn, Oedipus! Give me my turn to answer your speech and then you may judge. This you must do!

Oedipus You have the audacity to speak but I! I've not the stomach for the words of a murderer! 545

Creon Murderer! Well, then let me first speak on the matter before you judge me one!

Oedipus And on this very matter, don't tell me that you are innocent!

Creon Oedipus! Oedipus you are wrong to think that this mindless obstinacy of yours is some sort of virtue!

Oedipus And you are wrong to think that a man can murder a relative and get away with it! 551

Creon On that I agree!

Oedipus, I do agree with you on that! Tell me then, Oedipus, what is it that I've done against you?

Oedipus Was it not you who's persuaded me to send for the sarcastically reverend seer?

Creon But why not?

Oedipus Now, tell me also, how long has it been since Laius -

Laius? What has he got to do with anything? I don't follow.

When was Laius murdered?

Creon Many years ago. Why?

Oedipus And was this "reverent" seer plying his trade at the time?

Creon Yes. Just as wisely then and just as much revered by the people as he is now.

Oedipus Did he say anything about me at the time?

Creon No, at least not near my ears.

Oedipus Did you not search for your murdered king's corpse?

Creon But of course we did but we found nothing.

Oedipus How is it then that this wise seer of yours did not make all these revelations about me back then?

Creon I have no idea about such things, Oedipus and when it comes to things I know nothing about, I prefer to keep my mouth shut.

Oedipus And yet you do know everything about this matter! You certainly know enough to confess! 570

Creon Which matter, Oedipus? I will make confessions about things I know.

Oedipus This matter: that, had the seer not conspired with you, he would not be calling me a murderer!

Creon I had no idea he did this. Let me then ask you a question, also.

Oedipus Go ahead! Ask all you want. Ask and learn that I am not a murderer!

Creon Tell me then Oedipus. Is not my sister, Jocasta, your wife?

Oedipus She is, indeed!

Creon And tell me also, are you two not equal rulers of Thebes?

Oedipus I begrudge Jocasta nothing. What is mine is hers.

Creon And I? Am I not your equal also?

Oedipus Aha! This! This is the very point upon which my anger rests! You have failed to be a faithful relative!

Creon No, Oedipus, not if you think through all this the way I do.

Look: Which do you think is preferable? To rule in fear or to sleep in peace, having, in any case, equal access to power as his king and his sister? I know of no one who would chose the former and nor do I.

Me? I want neither the throne nor the chores that accompany it.

Because of you, Oedipus, I have everything I need without the fear. Were I to be a king the chores would choke me. Throne and tears on one side, everything I need without the tears on the other. Believe me I'm not so foolish as to chose things which bear no benefit.

All the folks respect me now. They greet me with a smile, they come to me whenever they need something from you because they know they can depend on me. Why then should I give all this up for the sake of your throne? Would it not be thoroughly unwise of me? In any case, Oedipus, believe me: murder is not in my nature - alone or with others! 596

Go ahead, go to Delphi, Oedipus! Check me out. Ask the oracle if I am not telling the truth; and if you find out that Teiresias and I have conspired against you, then kill me. In that I will give you a hand but judge me with certain, with positive proof. Judging a good friend as evil without reason is bad work because sending away a good friend is like losing your own life and your own life is the most loved life of all.

Time, Oedipus, Time will show you the truth in this matter. Innocence takes time to be revealed; guilt can be announced far too quickly.

Chorus He spoke well, my king. Those who hurry to judge, judge badly. 616

Oedipus If the schemer rushes with his scheme I, too must rush with my decisions, otherwise his schemes win over my decisions.

Creon So what is it you want, Oedipus? To send me away from here?

Oedipus Send you away? Absolutely not! I want you dead! Dead here, before me rather than alive elsewhere.

Creon Tell me first. What exactly are you afraid that I will do to you?

Oedipus Are you disobeying me?

Creon No, Oedipus. I can see that your reasoning is bad, Oedipus!

Oedipus My reasoning is perfect.

Creon But your reasoning should be made perfect in my mind also.

Oedipus Firstly, you cannot be trusted.

Creon But what if you are wrong?

Oedipus You are still obliged to obey!

Creon Obey? An unjust command? Why should I?

O, Thebes, Thebes!

Creon Thebes is mine just much as she is yours! 630

Enter Jocasta

Jocasta What is all this? What is all this silly squabbling? Are you not ashamed? The whole country is suffering the pains of a horrendous pestilence and you two -here you are, in front of the palace for all the people to see, arguing about your petty little affairs. Get back inside both of you, before you turn these little affairs into a something major.

These petty squabbles of yours can bring about large and bitter consequences.

Creon Darling sister!

Your husband here is threatening, most seriously, to either send me away from the land of my birth or to have me executed!

Oedipus But of course I do. I caught him plotting against me, Jocasta. An evil mind, working evil webs.

Creon Ah! If this is true then let me not enjoy a moment more of my life!

Let me wander around the world, a cursed soul wherever I go!

Jocasta By all the gods, Oedipus! Have some faith in him! At least have some faith in the gods by whom he swears; and then in me and in all these folk who stand before you! 646

Chorus I beg you king, listen and think! Think well!

Oedipus And compromise upon what?

Chorus Trust Creon. He has never been untrustworthy before and now, you see, your faith in him is made all the more secure by his oaths.

Oedipus Are you aware of what it is you are saying?

Chorus I do, my king!

Oedipus Then tell me!

Chorus I am saying that you should never condemn a friend without absolute proof. 656

Oedipus Know this well, old man: that if this is what you really want then you must also want my destruction or my exile from this land.

Chorus By Helios, the Sun, the first of all the gods! May I be cast asunder without gods or friends by my side if I desire such a thing! My poor, unfortunate heart, though, is hurt with these new sufferings of Thebes and all the more if upon them are added your own sufferings, my king.

Oedipus Well, then, all right! Let him be exiled and not killed - even though, I know, it means my own death or my own exile in disgrace. It is your mouth that has gained my sympathy, not his. I shall hate him wherever he might be.

Creon So much hatred in your compromise! Yet, when your anger subsides a little how you will suffer! Souls like yours are their own worst enemy! Quite rightly, too!

Oedipus Leave! Get out! 676

Creon I shall. A foreigner to you, a friend to them.

Chorus Queen, why don't you take your husband inside?

Jocasta First I need to know what is going on.

Chorus Hollow suspicions from words, my Lady.

Chorus Still, even the unjust word has a strong bite.

Jocasta Hollow words from both?

Chorus Yes, madam.

Jocasta But why?

Chorus Enough, my Lady, enough! Thebes is suffering enough. Let them end it where they have just stopped.

You see? An intelligent man like you, yet you see what you have done with my part of justice! You spat upon it with cold and uncaring heart!

Chorus But, my king, I have told you many times before: I would be mad to disobey you. You, Oedipus who, when this land was tortured by misfortune, you came and healed her well.

Chorus Heal her again, my king, Heal her!

Jocasta By the gods, Oedipus! Tell me, as well, what raised your anger so much?

Oedipus Your brother says I am Laius' murderer! 700

Jocasta Who told him that? Or was it his own thinking?

Oedipus He has sent that evil seer to me to tell me while he kept his own mouth free of such utterances.

Jocasta Well, then! Oedipus, my king! Forget everything and listen to me. No mortal knows the will of the gods. Let me show you proof of this. Once, an oracle came to Laius -I am not saying from Apollo, directly, but from his servants- that it was his Fate, Laius' Fate, to die by the hand of his son - his and my son! However, word has it that Laius was killed by strangers, thieves, at a three-way cross road.

As for the boy, three days after he was born, the king has his ankles pinned and then handed him to someone to take him to some forest where no human ever went. And so, neither the child was allowed by Apollo to kill his father, nor did Laius suffer murder in the hands of his own son.

That was god's real intention, not what some seer said would happen. If the god wants something done he will tell us himself.

Ah, what a fear! What a trembling, what a cold panic has overtaken me, wife! Something from what you have just said...

Jocasta What fear, my king? Tell me!

Oedipus I think... I think I have heard you say that Laius was killed at a tree-way crossing.

Jocasta That is what they said then and that is what they are still saying now.

Oedipus And where is this cross road exactly?

Jocasta The city is called Phokis. A divided road which splits all the way to the Delphi on one side and to Daulia on the other.

Oedipus How long ago did the murder happen? 735

Jocasta It was announced just a little before you arrived here and became king.

Oedipus Oh, Zeus! Zeus! What do you have in store for me next?

Jocasta What is it, Oedipus? What memory disturbs your mind?

Oedipus Ask me no more, wife, just tell me: What height what age was Laius then?

Jocasta Tall... his hair was just turning grey... looked quite like you do now.

Oedipus O, what a wretched man I am! I think I have cast hateful curses upon myself without my knowing!

Jocasta My king! What are you saying? What fear floods your face?

Oedipus A dire fear, wife! I fear that that blind priest, that seer, is truly Apollo's eye! You will show me proof of this if you can tell me one more thing.

Jocasta Ask, Oedipus! How frightened I am. Ask and I shall tell you.

Oedipus When Laius went away, was he accompanied by a few or by many armed men? 750

Jocasta Five, including a herald. Laius was in a carriage.

Oedipus Ah! So many clear signs, wife. Wife, who told you all this?

Jocasta A servant. He was the only survivor. He came and told me.

Oedipus Does he still live with us?

Jocasta No. As soon as he came and saw you upon Laius' throne he disappeared. He begged me at the time to send him to the grazing lands, to be as far away from the city as possible. So I sent him. He was a good man and worthy of even greater reward so I granted him his wish.

Oedipus Could we bring him here in a hurry?

Jocasta Of course, but why?

Oedipus I am afraid for myself, wife. I am afraid that I have said too much against myself and I want to see him.

Jocasta Of course he will come but I think I have the right to know what is going on. 770

Oedipus Since I have come so far into the depths of fear, Jocasta, I won't keep you in the dark. I will tell you everything. To who else could I possibly disclose such a Fate?

My father was the Corinthian Polybus, my mother, the Dorian Meropi. There, in Corinth, I was loved by all, until one day when something odd happened. Odd and not worthy of the attention I gave it at the time.

A drunk, during a banquet said that I was not my father's son, that I was a false son, an adopted son. I held my temper that day but the next day I asked my parents and they, too, were highly insulted by what that drunk had said.

I loved those two. Still, some thought at the back of my head was eating at me, at my very soul. One day then, I went secretly to Apollo's shrine and asked him about it but the god gave me no answer to any of the questions I had ask him but... he did tell me all sorts of other horrible, dreadful prophesies, prophesies like, one day I would become my mother's husband, or that I would give birth to a generation hated by all mankind, or that I would murder my father! At that I let the stars guide my path and left Corinth behind me. I walked away from there so that I wouldn't give the slightest chance for these awful prophesies to come true.

I walked and walked until I came upon that forked road where you said Laius was murdered.

Let me tell you the truth, wife. As I got to that spot, I came across a herald and a man on a horse-drawn carriage. Both, man and herald came and tried to push me out of the way. In a very rough manner. I got so angry that, in the fight, I hit the driver of the carriage. The old man saw this and as I walked past the carriage he picked up the double goad and hit me over the head with it. Let me tell you, wife, for that little act, he paid a double price. I lifted my own staff and hit him back. He rolled to the ground from the carriage, flat on his back. Then, as I fought on, I killed all the rest of them. 800

But if this stranger now has some light to shine upon that incident -

Oh, wife! Who would be more unfortunate than me? More hated? By man and by gods?

Neither a stranger nor a citizen could ever let me into his home nor even speak with me but he would send me on my cursed way. And it was I who announced this curse upon me, no one else.

These hands! With these very hands I had gripped at the man whose wife I hold now. Am I not then an evil man? Am I not a vile sacrilege? If I must leave, I will neither be able to see my family nor go back to my own country, Corinth. Or else, the prophesy says, if I go back to Corinth, I shall marry my mother and kill Polybus, my father, the man loved me and gave me life and raised me. Would it not be true if someone said of me that a cruel god is pursuing me? 820

Gods! Pure gods! Revered Gods! Never, never let me see such a terrible day! I would rather be lost from the eyes of men than see myself branded by such malignant shame!

Chorus All this, my king, is dreadful for all of us. But have courage.

Chorus Let's see what the witness has to tell us first.

Oedipus True. There is this slender hope. Let me wait for the shepherd.

Jocasta And what then? What will you make of his words?

Oedipus If his words agree with yours then I am doomed. 840

Jocasta What do you mean? What words have I told you?

Oedipus You said that this shepherd told you that a group of thieves killed Laius. If he still says that it was a "group" then I'm clearly not the murderer. A group is not a single man. But if he says it was only one traveller, then it would be all too clear: the deed falls on me!

Jocasta I shall do whatever pleases you, Oedipus. I shall send for the shepherd now. In the meantime, let's go inside.

Exit Oedipus and Jocasta into the palace.

Chorus If only! If only I was lucky enough to be able to fully understand the wise and pure words, the laws of the heavenly gods, laws that were fathered by Olympus, and not merely those of some mortal whose memory can fail!

Chorus Great and ageless are the Gods within those laws.

Chorus Arrogance overfed with vanity and bloated with unearned riches, will turn a man into a tyrant. Yet even from the highest peak he will fall into the deepest abyss from where there is no escape.

Chorus Turning to the altar of Apollo

I pray to you, Apollo!

Do not stop the good fight for the city. Be my protector always.

Chorus If by his tongue or by his hands a man becomes too proud, if he neglects his duty to Justice or to the altars of the gods, let that man's Fate be harsh, as harsh as is his unearned pride. 883

Chorus If by unjust deeds he seeks to make his profits, or if he does not hold back the madness of his hand from touching the untouchable shrines, who could help him?

Chorus Who could remove the arrows sent into his heart by the angry gods? For if such things are thought of as honourable, what purpose would my prayers to the gods have?

Chorus Why dance the holy dances?

How could I ever again go in reverence to pray at Apollo's shrine - Earth's sacred heart - or to the shrine of Abas or to Olympia, if all these things do not clear up for all the mortals to see and feel?

Chorus Turning to Zeus' altar

Zeus! If you are truly worthy of being called "Almighty" then let not all this injustice escape you or your eternal power!

Chorus Gone are the oracles addressed to Laius -no one believes them any more and nowhere the people believe in Apollo!

Chorus Gone is the love for the gods!

Enter Jocasta with her attendant, holding garlands and burning incense.

Jocasta Elders of Thebes, I thought I should come to the shrines with these wreaths of supplication and incense because Oedipus' mind has taken wings due to all sorts of sorrows. He cannot think like other men of logic do, men who can separate the old prophesies from the new but prefers to pay heed only to those men whose prophesies are the more dreadful. 911

Turning to Apollo's altar

Since I do nothing without first being advised by you Apollo, you, our closest ally, I come to you in prayer with these offerings.

Heal all our wounds, Apollo. We all tremble in fear when we see the captain of our ship so shaken with dread.

She places the wreaths and the incense on the altar. The incense will stay smouldering for the duration of the play.

Enter the Herald. He is holding a rough, shepherd's crook.

Herald Strangers, can you please tell me where Oedipus' palace is?

Chorus That there is his palace, stranger and this here is the mother of his children.

Herald Abundant happiness to you and to your husband, good Lady!

Jocasta And to you, too, stranger. Tell me what brings you here. What news do you have for us? 931

Herald Good news, madam - for you and for your husband.

Jocasta Yes? What is it? Who has sent you?

Herald I have come from Corinth, my Lady and my message will definitely give you joy... but then again sadness, too... I think.

Jocasta What is this message? How can it have such double strength?

Herald The Corinthians have invited Oedipus to be their king.

Jocasta But why? Is not old Polybus still alive?

Herald No, madam. Death has him in his grave grip.

Jocasta What? Have I heard right? Is Oedipus' father dead?

Herald I swear it,my Lady. By my own life! He is indeed dead.

Jocasta To her attendant

Girl, go quickly and tell your master the news!

Exit the attendant into the palace

Well now, what of all the prophesies of the gods?

Oedipus left his beloved home in trembling fear lest he kills this man, his father, yet this man, Polybus died a natural death! Oedipus' hand has committed no murder!

What then of the prophesies?

Enter Oedipus with two of his own attendants and with Jocasta's attendant

Oedipus You called for me dear wife. What is it? 950

Jocasta Oedipus, listen to this man here first and then see how well god's solemn prophesies are accomplished.

Oedipus Yes? Who is this man and what does he have to say to me?

Jocasta He has just arrived from Corinth to tell us that your father, Polybus is dead.

Oedipus Stranger is this true? Tell me yourself.

Herald If this is what you want me to announce first, then let me tell you truly that Polybus is dead.

Oedipus By murder or by sickness?

Herald Old bodies need no great cause to fall, my Lord.

Oedipus And so, it seems, the poor old man has fallen by illness.

Herald And of his lengthy years, of course.

Oedipus What do you think now, wife? How can one give credence to Delphi's oracle, or to the birds that sing above us when all these have prophesied that I would be my father's murderer? There he is now, beneath the earth and here I am, no sword in my hand!

Still, perhaps I am a murderer nonetheless, if I have caused him unbearable grief and if grief was the cause of his death. But that would be my only contribution to his death. And he took with him down to Hades all these useless oracles, worthless for anything at all!

Jocasta Had I not often told you as much?

Oedipus Yes, wife, you did but still, dread overtook me.

Jocasta Forget all this nonsense then. Cast it out of your mind. 975

Oedipus But how can I forget the marriage to my mother? She is still alive.

Jocasta But of course you would be afraid if, instead of thinking, you leave everything to Fate and oracles! Come now, best for you to live as much as you can while you can. As for your mother, many have gone to bed with their mothers -in their dreams!

Give no further thought to such things and live an easier life.

Oedipus These would be good words if my mother were not alive but alive she is and so it is natural for me to be afraid.

Jocasta But surely, your father's tomb is undeniable truth - a shining light - that the oracles are all wrong!

Oedipus I know. A shining light. Yet the woman is alive and so the dread is still real.

Herald Excuse me, sir, which woman frightens you so much?

Oedipus Meropi, old man. The woman with whom old Polybus lived.

Herald Why are you afraid of her?

Oedipus Because of a dreadful oracle from Apollo, stranger.

Herald Can you speak of it or is it one of those that must stay unspoken?

Oedipus Yes, I can speak of it. Apollo told me once that I would be my mother's husband and my father's murderer, so I left Corinth a long time ago. I am happy here, of course, but it is a sweet thing to be able to see your parents' eyes.

Herald Goodness! Is this true? Is THAT what you were afraid of? Is that what sent you away from us? 1000

Oedipus I had no wish to be my father's murderer, old man.

Herald But have I not eased your fear, my Lord with what I have just told you?

Oedipus Of course you have, old man and for that you will be rewarded handsomely.

Herald But of course. That is exactly why I have come, sir, so that I will have something of yours when you return back to your home.

Oedipus I will never go back to live with my parents.

Herald My child. It is most obvious you don't know what you are doing.

Oedipus What do you mean, old man? For God's sake explain what you mean!

Herald Well, if this is the only reason that you are afraid to come back to your own palaces -

Oedipus I fear the accomplishment of Apollo's oracles.

Herald Afraid you might commit sacrilege with your parents?

Oedipus Exactly that, old man. Always that!

Herald So you don't know that you have no reason at all to be afraid of that?

Oedipus What do you mean? They gave me my life.

Herald Polybus is not of your family. No relation at all!

Oedipus What? Was Polybus not my father?

Herald He was as much your father as I was.

Oedipus But how can a stranger be equal to a parent?

Herald Because neither he nor I had anything to do with your birth. 1020

Oedipus Why then did he always call me his "child?"

Herald Learn this, my king. Old Polybus received you as a gift from my hands.

Oedipus Why then, having received me from a stranger's hand, did he love me so much?

Herald Not having a child of his own taught him to do that, my Lord.

Oedipus And you, old man. Did you buy me from someone or found me somewhere?

Herald I found you in the crags of Kitheron.

Oedipus What were you doing there?

Herald I took highland herds to graze up there.

Oedipus So you were a hired shepherd then.

Herald And, at the same time, your saviour, my boy!

Oedipus What state was I in then, when you found me?

Herald Look at your ankles. There lies the evidence of your state.

Oedipus Ah! What an old and evil piece of memory you threw into my mind!

Herald I undid your feet, let loose the chains from the holes in your ankles, my Lord.

Oedipus A great shame that I have carried from my cradle days. 1035

Herald It's that shame that gave you your name.

Oedipus By Apollo! Tell me old shepherd who gave me this shame? My mother or my father?

Herald I don't know. Only he who gave it to you would know that.

Oedipus So, did someone else hand me to you or did you find me yourself?

Herald Another shepherd like me handed you to me.

Oedipus Who is it? Can you tell me who it is?

Herald He said he was one of Laius' servants.

Oedipus Laius, the man who was once the king of this country?

Herald That's right. That shepherd was that king's servant.

Oedipus Is he still alive, this shepherd? Can I see him? 1045

Herald The locals here would know better about that.

Is there anyone among you who knows this shepherd? Could he be in the fields or somewhere around here? Speak! It is time for all things to be revealed!

Chorus I think it is the same man you were asking to see earlier. Your kind wife, Jocasta, would know better though.

Oedipus Wife, do you remember the man we were earlier asking to come here? Is this the man this herald is talking about?

Jocasta Anxious. Dismissive

Who cares what man he is talking about? Forget him and forget all that has been said. You're worried for nothing!

Oedipus Forget it? How can it be possible for one to carry such marks as these indicating the wounds on his ankles and not try to find his parents.

Jocasta For God's sake, Oedipus! If you love your life, search no further! I have suffered enough for both of us. 1060

Oedipus Courage, my dear wife. Courage!

Even if by this search I discover that I was a third generation slave, it will not affect your standing in our city.

Jocasta Oedipus, I beg you, stop! Search no further! Stop!

Oedipus No! Not until I discover the whole truth!

Jocasta Oedipus! It is for your own good I am giving you this advice!

Oedipus It is this "good" of mine which gives me so much pain for so long.

Jocasta Poor, unfortunate man! I hope you never live to learn who you are.

Oedipus Will no one bring me this shepherd! Let this wealthy woman enjoy her high birth. Bring me the shepherd! 1070

Jocasta Despondent-she has now discovered the truth herself

You are a poor, poor man, Oedipus! A wretched man! That is all I can say to you! I have no more words for you.

Jocasta leaves in anger

ACT TWO

Chorus Such a harsh sadness took her inside, Oedipus. I wonder if, perhaps, some new disaster will emerge from that silence of hers.

Oedipus Let emerge what will!

I need to know the womb that carried me, even if it is that of a slave. Perhaps Jocasta's pride is touched by shame because of my lowly birth.

She would be wrong, for I consider myself the son of wide-armed Fate, so why should I feel any shame? I am Fate's son and Fate has given me both, the pains of being poor and the comfort of being rich. So, I will have no other birth, no other unknown birth-womb.

Chorus If I were a seer myself and if my brain would be at all wise, Kitheron, I would bet by Olympus, that by tomorrow's full moon, we will make you our great friend! 1086

Chorus Kitheron, who lived upon the same land as Oedipus, his father and his mother.

Chorus We will dance to your honour, Kitheron because you bring such joy to our kings.

Chorus Apollo, our saviour, may our prayers suffice!

Chorus Who gave birth to you, Oedipus, my son? Which of the eternal nymphs had coupled with Pan of the mountains? Or was it some daughter of Apollo, the god who loves the widely spread grazing lands? 1098

Chorus Perhaps it was Kyllini's protector, Bacchus, who is often seen on the mountain peaks?

Chorus Or, perhaps you were given to him as a gift by some nymph from Elikon. He loved to play with them.

Ah! I have never seen him before but if I am right, I think I can see the shepherd we are after! His age is similar to this man here... yes, my servants are with him also. You would know better than me, though. You have seen him before.

Chorus Yes, I know him well. He is the one. He was one of Laius' most trustworthy shepherds.

Herald Ah, yes, he's the one all right!

Enter Shepherd with two of Oedipus' servants. He too has a rough shepherd's crook, just like his friend. As soon as he sees everyone, particularly the other shepherd and Oedipus, he snarls and tries to withdraw but the king's servants stop him. The other shepherd greets him with a smile.

This is the only scene possible in the play where some humour might be injected. This should be done via the two shepherds who, at least at one point, they may come to stick-blows.

This new shepherd answers all the questions reluctantly and thoughtfully, trying to escape the deadly revelation.

Oedipus To the Shepherd

Come old man, come here and tell us. Were you ever Laius' servant?

Shepherd Yes, born and bred in the palace, not bought into it.

Oedipus And you were doing what exactly? How did you earn your living in this palace?

Shepherd I usually guided the palace's herds.

Oedipus Taking them to which fields?

Shepherd Around Mount Kitheron and all the grazing spots around it.

Oedipus Indicating the Herald

Look at this man here. Have you ever seen him before? Met him anywhere around there?

Shepherd Feigning ignorance

What? Which man?

Oedipus This one here. Have you ever seen this man before? 1130

Shepherd No. At least... no... I can't remember him... not right now, I can't!

Herald enthusiastically

Nothing odd about that, my Lord.

Wait, I'll remind him of some past events. I know full well that he'll remember that he and I would get together for three six monthly periods, from Spring till the star Arctouros would appear, in Autumn. He, with two herds and I with one. Then, in Winter, I'd return to my Winter stables and he to Laius'. To the shepherd Am I right or am I not?

Shepherd Yes, you're right!

But, my Lord, all this happened a very, very long time ago!

Herald Well, then, tell me. Can you remember handing a baby to me, to raise as if it were my own baby?

What is going on here? Why are you asking me such crazy things?

Because, old man, this is that boy! This man here, my old friend, is that little boy! Look closely. It's king Oedipus!

Shepherd Waves his crook angrily at the herald

Get out of it, you... you stupid man! And shut your mouth!

Oedipus To the Shepherd, angrily

Don't get angry with him, old man. It is he who has that right, not you!

Shepherd What have I done, my great Lord?

Oedipus Answer him! Tell him about the child.

Shepherd He doesn't know what he's talking about, my Lord. It's all hot air! Hot head, hot air!

Shepherd, I have been polite with you so far and you have still not answered any of my questions. Not even one! Perhaps your own tears will make you talk, ey?

Shepherd No, no! By the Gods, my Lord, don't hurt me!

Oedipus Someone please tie his hands behind his back!

Oedipus' servants move threateningly towards the Shepherd.

From now on the lighting will intensify slowly until line 1181 so that when Oedipus speaks in line 1182 his "O light..." his speech carries greater poignancy.

The light relief is henceforth progressively receding, as Oedipus' culpability descents upon him and as he becomes more and more aware of the dimensions of his offence.

Shepherd Damn my luck! What is it, my Lord? What is it you wish to know? 1155

Oedipus Did you give the child to this man?

Shepherd Yes. I wish I had died that day!

Oedipus You will certainly die today if you don't tell the truth!

Shepherd It'll be even worse for me if I do tell the truth!

Looks to me as if this old shepherd wants to escape us with lies.

Shepherd No, really, my Lord, I did say it. I gave that child to him. But it was a very long time ago.

Oedipus Where did you get the child from? Was it yours or was it someone else's?

Shepherd Mine? O, no! No, no, no. I mean, no, my Lord. Not mine. Someone else gave it to me.

Oedipus Who gave it to you? From whose house did it come?

Shepherd No, my Lord! By the gods, no more! Ask me no more, please! 1165

Oedipus Don't let me ask you again, old man!

Shepherd Indicating the palace

It was from in there, my Lord. From within Laius' palace.

Oedipus Was he the son of a slave or one of his own children?

Shepherd Damn this luck of mine! Here comes the worst of it!

Oedipus For me, too, old man but I need to hear it!

Shepherd They said it was his own child but... your own wife would be able to tell you better about this.

Oedipus So, was it she then who gave you the child?

Shepherd Yes, my king.

Oedipus And why did she do that?

Shepherd To make it disappear.

Oedipus Its very own mother asked you to do this?

Shepherd Yes, from fear of some bad oracle or other.

Oedipus Oracle? Which oracle?

Shepherd One which said he'd kill his parents.

Oedipus So, why did you leave the child with this man?

Shepherd I felt pity for the little boy, my Lord. I thought, well, he'd be taken to another land, one far away from his father's and so he'd be free of that oracle. No problems that I could see. Unfortunately though, my Lord, it looks like that was a bad decision, saving the child, I mean, because, well, because if that child is you, then, by Zeus, I fear gravely for you, too, my Lord.

Oedipus O, how gruesomely clearly it has all unravelled! O light! Let me enjoy you for one last time. One last time from the time I was born, for I was born from the wrong parents, I was bonded with the wrong people and I have killed those I should have never killed!

Exit Oedipus into the palace

Exit Shepherd and Herald.

Light now dims considerably

Chorus Wretched mortals! Your lives are of no consequence. What man can ever feel that his joy is any more than a dream, since all it does is to appear and then disappear almost straight away? 1186

Chorus I look at your life, luckless Oedipus, and take it as an example.

Chorus How can I look at your Fate and praise the Fate of any other human?

Oedipus From within, shouts of despair.

Ohhhhhhhh!

Chorus Responding to Oedipus' voice

This man, Zeus! This man has aimed high and highly he has achieved.

Chorus He has escaped Apollo's sharp-taloned oracle and has gained great joy.

Chorus He stood like a great tower, protecting our city from the many deaths.

Chorus Since then, my Lord I can think of no other man more honourable than you in our great Thebes.

Chorus Yet now! Who can be called more unfortunate than you, Oedipus?

Chorus One twist of Fate, Oedipus and now no one can be called more wretched. A twist that brought you into the midst of wild sadness and dreadful pain.

Chorus Both of you, Oedipus -father and son- how did the same awful harbour manage to receive you both?

Chorus How did your father's bed manage to keep you there, in such silence and for so long?

Chorus Then the years came and found you, my King and now they condemn this unholy marriage from which you were born and in which you gave birth.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Chorus Poor child of Laius! I wish I had never met you because my heart cries bitter tears for you.

Chorus Yet, the fact is Oedipus, it is you who has given me some comfort when you came to Thebes, enough comfort for me to be able to sleep at night.

Enter a very distressed, male attendant.

Attendant O, dear elders! What horrible things you'll hear and see, what grief you'll suffer if you still care at all for this here palace. Neither of the huge rivers, Istros or Phasis could wash away the evil things going on under its roofs, nor what will be revealed soon under the light. Evil things done both, willingly and not. 1223

The bitterest suffering, elders, comes by the aid of our very own hand!

Chorus We suffer enough from what we know already. What more is there for you to tell us?

Attendant I'll use the quickest possible manner of speech: Jocasta is dead!

Chorus Gentle Jocasta is dead? So poor in fortune? How? What happened?

Attendant She died by her own hand -but there's more to tell. I'll tell you all that I can manage.

When she crossed this threshold here, leaving you with that anger in her soul, she rushed to her bridal bed and began immediately to tear at her own hair. Behind shut doors she cried the loss of old Laius, her true husband, wailing and calling the memories of their wedding, lamenting his death that had left her to deal with his son and bring up a new generation.

She mourned the bed upon which from one husband another husband and from one son another son were born... 1250

After that, I have no idea what happened because just then Oedipus rushed in. He was groaning dreadfully with pain, so no one could look at Jocasta's pain any more but they were forced to turn to him. He kept calling out for a sword and for his wife - alternating between the words "wife" and "mother," a double seed, as well as for his children; and someone, surely a god, for no mortal would have dared speak to him when he was in the grips of such an anger, showed him the double doors of Jocasta's room. He screamed wildly and banged hard at the doors till the latches broke asunder. Then he rushed into the room.

That's when we all saw the poor woman hanging by a thick, platted rope.

Oedipus, thoroughly overwhelmed by sadness now, cuts the rope and lets the woman down onto the floor. 1265

Dreadful! The things we saw just then were dreadful!

He took out the golden brooches that held her dress and plunged them deep into the sockets of his own eyes so that they'll never again see what evil things he's done nor any of those deeds he might do in the future. In darkness they'd always be and therein they'd receive those things he'd want to receive and not receive those he wouldn't want to receive.

Again and again he hit hard at his eyes, plunging the brooches until the blood began to flow like black rain and like black hail and the clods and the gore rolled all over his great beard. 1275

This evil sprouted from both of them -man and woman equally- and upon both, this evil broke. Equal and similar to both.

The happiness they've enjoyed earlier was true happiness but now, this day, we see only deep sadness, curses, death and shame.

Name what evil word you want and it won't be missing from this scene.

Chorus Poor man!

Chorus How is he now, the poor, unfortunate man?

Attendant He groans with anger, calling us to open the doors so he can show all the Cadmians the real father killer, the real murderer of his father and of his mother - O, how hard it is for these words to be told! He says he'll throw himself out of his land, that he'll be an exile; and that he won't remain here while he's fallen in the grips of his own curses.

But he needs someone to guide him, someone who'll help him. Suffering like this is just too hard for anyone to endure alone.

From within we hear Oedipus' loud groans of pain and anger.

He bangs at the door from within with his staff until the door opens.

See for yourselves. He's coming out now. A sight even an enemy will feel sorrow for.

ACT THREE

Enter Oedipus. Blood is still dripping from his eyes and beard. His eyes are gouged out. He is bare footed, his hair is long, sparse and almost white and he is holding an old, shepherd's crook instead of his golden staff. His clothes are no more than tattered hessian rags.

Ah!

Ah!

What a hideous sight! More frightening then all the sights I've ever seen before.

Chorus What frenzy took hold of you poor, luckless man? What evil creature jumped so gruesomely upon your sad Fate? Ahhhh! Poor man!

Chorus Poor Man! How insufferable must be your pain. I have so many questions to ask you, so much I need to know, yet I just can't look at you.

Oh!

Oh! What pain! What loathsome Fate! What appalling Fate! Into what land will my madness cast me now? Where are my feet taking me? Where is my voice being cast? Black Fate! Black Fate, Black Fate, in what dark abyss have you thrown me now?

Chorus In dreadful misery, Oedipus. Dreadful, unheard of, never-seen-before, misery.

Oedipus Ah! What an unbearable pall of darkness! How secretly, how wildly you fell upon me! How swiftly the wind carried you about me! How this wound of memory hurts both the mind and the flesh! Ah!

Chorus Such circumstances bring about double suffering, double pain and double burdens!

You! You! You are still my trusted friend! The only one! You still stand by me, me, a blind man, and still you try to help me. Even in darkness, my friend, I can still recognise your voice!

Chorus What brutal courage you must have, Oedipus, to erase the light from your own eyes! What God has made you do it?

Oedipus Apollo did this my friends! Apollo! He is the one who is sending me these foul pains. As for my eyes, no one else has struck them. No one else but me. What is the good of them now when I saw no good with them before?

Chorus True, my Lord. Things are as you say they are.

Oedipus What is there left for me to see, to love, to speak with and to listen to, with joy? Come friends, take me out of here, as quickly as possible. Take me, the utter wretch, the worst cursed, the most hated of all mortals.

Chorus Ill-Fated man! Ill-Fated in mind and in flesh. How I wish I had never met you! 1347

Oedipus Curses to the man whoever it was, that man who had saved me from the wild hooks on my feet, who had saved me from the wilderness, from those grazing lands, from death, only to give me this detestable end. Had I died then, I would be no burden of melancholy, now, neither to me nor to my friends.

Chorus Yes, that would have been far better.

Oedipus I would not be my father's killer then, nor would those who gave birth to me would call me their son.

So! Here I am, without a god, a son of sacrilege, sharing the nuptial bed of my very own parents.

If there existed anything else, even more evil than this, it, too, would strike Oedipus!

Chorus Yet, I can't say what you did was wise, Oedipus. Better to be dead, I should think, than to be alive and blind.

Oedipus No, old man! Do not preach me all that. Do not tell me that what I did was wrong! 1370

If I still had my eyes, old man, how could I face Hades in the underworld? How could I face my parents after what I had done to them both? For such atrocious acts, suicide is too small a price to pay.

And my children. Could I still have the yearning to see my children, born as they have, in such an unholy marriage?

No, such things are not for my eyes, old man. No! I cannot face the city nor its high towers, the sacred shrines of our gods -not even them did I leave out of my curse, I the glorious king, the king of Thebes, most repugnant of all mortals!

Let the gods send this arrogant man away. They have discovered him, this foul son of Laius' generation.

After all this, after all this vile discovery which I, myself brought out to the brutal light of truth, how can I stand before them and look at them with clear eyes? 1385

I cannot!

Even my ears! If there were some way by which I could stop my ears, stop the wound which sounds loud in my ears, I would not hesitate to do it.

Stop the ears! Stop the eyes! How sweet it would be to shut them both from thoughts of disaster.

Sweet mountain, Kitheron! Why did you accept me? Why not kill me at once? Why make me show the world the womb from which I came?

Polybus! Corinth! Ancient palaces that would be mine -what brilliant beauty!

Brilliant beauty but scarred by hidden wounds beneath them. You raised me only to show me in the end what a monstrous being I am!

That three-way crossing, where I spilled my father's blood -my blood, with my own hands; young trees, you, whose thirst I quenched with that blood, do you still remember what vile act I had done back then? Do you also remember what other vile acts I have done when I arrived here?

One marriage after another! What marriage gives forth a birth and out of that birth and inside the same womb you sow another seed that brings out into the light, fathers, brothers, children, mixed blood, brides -wives and mothers all at once, all the repulsive, shameful acts that shameful humans can commit. One marriage, one bed brings out all these odious deeds. 1405

Still, one must not talk of things too foul for the ear or for the hand.

Shouts and waves his hands about, hoping to touch one of the men in the chorus. The Chorus moves back in horror.

Come, then! For gods' sake, take me out of this city, take me, kill me, drown me, so you won't ever see me again.

Come!

Again he shouts and waves his hands about but the chorus moves back.

Come, I ask you! Take my hand. Let this miserable man hold onto one of you! Listen to me! Don't be afraid to touch me! No other man on earth can carry the burdens I have carried.

Enter Creon. He is dressed in the same manner as was Oedipus when he had first appeared on the stage. Golden crown, golden staff and regal manner.

Chorus Here comes Creon. He is the only guard of our city now and he'll advise you on all your wishes. 1416

Oedipus Creon? What words should I utter to him? How could I justly demand his trust? I have done nothing but act abominably towards him.

Creon I am not here to either condemn you, Oedipus, nor search into your past errors.

To the chorus

You, men, even if you feel no shame for things that humans do, respect the flame of the Sun God who gives life to all things! Such pollution cannot remain uncovered because neither the earth nor the holy rain, nor the light will tolerate it. Quickly, take him inside the palace. Let his relatives and the relatives of them, see and hear his suffering. That is their burden.

Oedipus By the gods, Creon, now that you have lessened my fear and behaved so kindly towards me, me, a most detestable man, please listen to me. I shall speak for your own good, not mine.

Creon Speak, Oedipus. Tell me your wish. 1435

Oedipus Throw me out of this land quickly so that the eyes of no other Theban will fall on me.

Creon I would have done so, let me tell you but I find it necessary to seek the God's advice on this matter.

Oedipus But his oracle is very clear, Creon. He said, "get rid of the wound!" Get rid of me! Me, the father-killer! Me, the pestilence. Me the polluter!

Creon That is true but the need is now for me to find out what I should do.

Oedipus So you will go to the god even for the sake of such a miserable man?

Creon Surely you, too, must trust him now!

Oedipus And I need to trust you to do one more thing for me. 1446

You take charge of the burial of the body inside. She is your sister and it is proper that you should do so in the manner you wish. As for me, let me not stay in my father's land now or ever while I am still alive. Let me, instead, go and live on the hills of Mount Kitheron, my own, true burial ground where my parents left me where my parents wanted me to die.

I know this well: I won't be dying from some illness or any other such thing. No, Fate wishes me to die a horrible death somewhere.

Well then, let it be so. Let the Fate of my generation take me where it will.

And my boys, Creon. There is no need for you to be concerned about them. They are men now and they will be able to look after themselves. My daughters, though! My little virgins. Poor little things, they have never sat at the table without my being there. My plate was always theirs. My mouthful was theirs. They are truly worthy of compassion. Show that compassion to them, Creon. Bring them to me now that I may hold them and cry! 1460

Come, Creon, please bring them to me!

Creon waves at an attendant to open the side door from which, very soon, two young girls come out, guided by a female attendant. They are Antigone and Ismene and they are sobbing softly.

Come now, kind Lord! I know that if my hands touch them it will feel as if I can see them - as if I still had eyes!

Ah! What is this I hear? Creon, are these my darlings I hear sobbing? My Antigone and my Ismene? Did you feel sorry for me, Creon? Sweet children, is this true?

Creon It is they. I knew they would bring you joy, just as they always did. 1476

Oedipus May Apollo reward you for this good deed, Creon! May he look after you, guard you, better than he did me.

Where are you my darlings? Come, come, my dears! Come into these hands -your brother's hands now. The brother who tore your father's eyes out. Your father who knew nothing of what he was doing, nothing about his own birth or about his marriage or about your birth.

The children approach Oedipus and hold onto his clothes.

I can't see you and I mourn for you because I know the bitter treatment the world will give you. I know what sort of public gatherings, what sort of celebrations you will attend, only to return home with tears rather than joy! And then, when you are at the right age for marriage, what man will be brave enough to take upon himself the dangers that come with such a shame and such a curse as that of my generation?

What is missing in all this shame? Nothing! Your father killed his father, married the woman who gave birth to him and from that same woman he brought about your birth! All this will be in the mouths of all the people. Who then will marry you? No one, my darlings and so, you will stay unmarried and without children.

Creon, I beg you, their true parents are lost and you are their only relative. Don't let them suffer the agony of the lost. Poor and unmarried, wandering the world. Don't let them suffer because of me. Feel pity for them! Apart from you they have no one.

Come, kind sir, accept them. Give me your hand on it.

Creon shakes hands with Oedipus.

To you, my children, if you were a little older I would have a great many more words of explanation for you but as it is, I can only give you my blessings.

Let Fate determine your life but let your life be better than your father's.

Creon Enough tears now, come! Go back into the palace, Oedipus! 1515

Oedipus I obey, though with great sadness.

Creon What needs to be done must be done at the right time.

Oedipus But I will agree on this, on one condition only and... do you know what that is?

Creon Tell me and I will know.

Oedipus You must send me out of the city!

Creon Your wishes can only be granted by Apollo.

Oedipus But the gods hate me!

Creon In that case, your wish will soon be granted.

Oedipus Is this true?

Creon I never speak idle words.

Oedipus Take me away from here then. 1520

Creon Walk ahead.

Oedipus moves and guides the girls with him but Creon stops him

No, no! Leave the children here!

Oedipus No, don't take them from me! Not for a moment!

Creon Enough now. Don't ask for anything more. What you've been given so far has been a big enough burden to you.

Exit all except the chorus.

Chorus Citizens of my beloved Thebes! See now your great Oedipus!

That famous man who knew the answers of great riddles. That man whose good fortune every man in Thebes envied! See now in what monstrous storm of misfortune he has fallen.

Chorus Indicating the stage and the play that was just run

What says all this, then?

Chorus Let's not praise a man for his good Fate unless he has arrived at his final day having escaped bad Fate.

End of Sophocles' "OEDIPUS REX"

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Sophocles (c.496-c.406 BC) - Oedipus Rex: Translated by George Theodoridis

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First performed around 429BCE 'Sophocles' - "Greek Dramas" (p149, 1900): Internet Archive Book Images Translated by George Theodoridis © Copyright 2005, all rights reserved - Bacchicstage This work may be freely reproduced, stored and transmitted, electronically or otherwise, for any non-commercial purpose. Conditions and Exceptions apply.

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Emperor of Rome: in conversation with Professor Mary Beard.

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Emperor of Rome: in conversation with Professor Mary Beard

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Activity 8: The Tale of Orpheus and Eurydice

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Activity 8: The Tale of Orpheus and Eurydice

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Watch the myth about Orpheus and Eurydice. What happened in the story? What can you learn about the Greek Underworld?

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Published twice a year, in March and September, its 32 full-colour pages offer fresh insights into the greatest classical texts, explore from new angles the enduring puzzles of ancient history, visit the fundamental areas of philosophical enquiry in antiquity, and bring you news and views from the world of classical archaeology and art.

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Omnibus Archives - The Classical Association

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Omnibus Magazine is free, subject to shipping charges. Please select the issue/s you would like. Quantity can be entered at the Shopping Cart stage. If you order Omnibus magazine and are not already a member of the CA, you will be signed-up to receive our regular e-newsletter. You can unsubscribe at any time. Click on the cover image for a list of contents.

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Activity 10: The Tale of Hercules and Cacus

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Read through the tale of Hercules and Cacus in Virgil’s Aeneid, book 8.

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Paul Cartledge, Alexander the Great: the Truth behind the Myth (Pan Macmillan, 2013)

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K. Dahmen, The Legend of Alexander the Great on Greek and Roman Coins (Routledge, 2007)

Andrew Feldherr (ed.), The Cambridge Companion to the Roman Historians (Cambridge University Press, 2009), particularly 'Barbarians I: Quintus Curtius' and other Roman Historians' Reception of Alexander' by E. Baynham

Robin Lane Fox, The Search for Alexander (Little Brown and Company, 1980)

Robin Lane Fox, The Making of Alexander: The Official Guide to the Epic Film Alexander (R & L, 2004)

Waldemar Heckel and Lawrence Tritle (eds.), Alexander the Great: A New History (Wiley-Blackwell, 2009)

Rachel Mairs, The Hellenistic Far East: Archaeology, Language and Identity in Greek Central Asia (University of California Press, 2014)

Plutarch (trans. Timothy Duff and Ian Scott-Kilvert), The Age of Alexander (Penguin Classics, 2012)

Diana Spencer, The Roman Alexander: Reading a Cultural Myth (Liverpool University Press, 2002)

Mary Renault, The Alexander Trilogy (Penguin Books, 1984)

James Romm (ed.), The Landmark Arrian: The Campaigns of Alexander the Great (Anchor Books, 2012)

Quintus Curtius Rufus (ed. Waldemar Heckel), The History of Alexander (Penguin Classics, 1984)

Andrew Stewart, Faces of Power: Alexander's Image and Hellenistic Politics (University of California Press, 1994)

Richard Stoneman, Alexander the Great: A Life in Legend (Yale University Press, 2010)

Richard Stoneman, Kyle Erickson, and Ian Netton (eds.), The Alexander Romance in Persia and the East (Barkhuis, 2012)

Ian Worthington (ed.), Alexander the Great: A Reader (Routledge, 2011)

Z. David Zuwiyya (ed.), A Companion to Alexander Literature in the Middle Ages (Brill, 2011)

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BBC Radio 4 - In Our Time, Alexander the Great

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Bettany Hughes | Venus and Aphrodite: A Biography of Desire

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Ofsted, 2021

Leaders and governors foster a culture of exceptionally high expectations for students' academic success

Ofsted, 2021

Students enjoy their lessons, which are taught by skilled, enthusiastic and knowledgeable teachers

You're treated as an individual... Everything is geared towards getting you ready for life and the staff really help prepare you for your exams

Ofsted, 2021

Leaders and staff create an exceptionally safe and welcoming culture

Ofsted, 2021

Students participate in an extensive range of activities and projects that develop their confidence and broaden their interests

Ofsted, 2021

There exists an ambitious curriculum that equips students exceptionally well with the knowledge and skills that they need to progress

Ofsted, 2021

Students thrive in the academy's calm and harmonious environment

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Trinity Sixth Form Academy - Outstanding Sixth Form in Halifax

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Ofsted, 2021 Leaders and governors foster a culture of exceptionally high expectations for students' academic success Ofsted, 2021 Students enjoy their lessons, which are taught by skilled, enthusiastic and knowledgeable teachers You're treated as an individual...

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Why not get ahead of the game and indulge in some of the exciting texts about the Greeks and Romans?

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Welcome to Classical Civilisation & Ancient History

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Welcome to Classical Civilisation & Ancient History

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Welcome to Classics & Ancient History - we hope you have fun with the activities available - all designed to get you thinking about the vibrant and interesting course you'll be starting in September.  There are some work related challenges too, which you can self assess with the answers.

contactus@sixth.trinitymat.org

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The classical language is everywhere in the wizarding world, if you know where to look…

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Melvyn Bragg and his guests discuss the life and reputation of Julius Caesar, one of the most intriguing figures of Roman history.

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BBC Radio 4 - In Our Time, Julius Caesar

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Melvyn Bragg and his guests discuss the life and reputation of Julius Caesar.