# data[].attributes.body
“Mount Ingénues” I read out aloud to Tom. We start heading north as we get ready to up the dormant volcano of Mount Ingénues. I carry my blue leather backpack and sit down to have a snack. I sit on a rock when my bum starts vibrating almost as if I farted. I stand back up and see my back pack moving like jelly. “Tom,” I yell, “What’s happening?” we look at each other in the eyes and in synchronisation we start running down the mountain almost falling over each other. We come to a dead end. Black rock makes us walk back in the other direction. Then, Poof! I fall to the ground like a bullet had shot me as I can see big black cloud of smoke emerge from the volcano into the once blue sky. The air turns smoky and we see bright red lava melting the black rocks and coming towards at significant pace. The smokiness in my mouth and my eyes start to water. I start imagining my end as every second comes closer in to impending doom. I can taste the bitterness of the smoke in my mouth. The ground starts getting hotter and hotter. My shoes were burnt and Tom and I tremble in fear as we look for cover from the molten lava. As I ran I can feel the smoke I inhale. My chest puffs out and I get short of breath. The lava is too fast and I can’t do anything about it. I sit down out of breath, out of life…

# data[].attributes.body
The siren sounded, my inner soul screamed! I swiftly dashed towards my parent’s room. We needed to leave this disintegrating land! A vulgar aroma filled the air forcing me to cough a splutter. I could hear glass shattering and humans yelping, tree’s once green, are now black, white cars, now grey. My mouth went bitter; I could taste the toxic fumes as the swirled through my lungs. My father was awoken, he was wailing like a cat with no tail. The windows, now completely covered with debris and shrapnel! My brain felt like it was being fried on a stovetop. The blue clouds were once so pretty, but no longer. All flights would be cancelled due to ash, I said to myself. ‘Come on Liam, Come on’’ said my dad in a loud voice. I struggled to hear him due to the loud eruption and the flock of birds flying round the region. Complete fear waved over the city. Ash started to roll in from under the wooden door. Of course it started to burn like a stick on a fire, pounding hearts, screaming souls and strong courage allowed us to escape the home. I scrambled rapidly to get away, my ears were bursting, my body was at breaking point, Bang! The front fence of our property broke away, seeping large amounts of fiery, bubbly and sizzling lava around my toes. “ouch” I howled. ‘Run’ heaved someone…

# data[].attributes.body
Our tour guide led us up a steep path. The mountain we were climbing was made of black rock. There were rocks bulging everywhere and it was hard to try and navigate a way between them. There was also lots of bushes and small trees, desperately trying to find some soil to grow in. I was so excited. I would be able to look at what a dormant volcano looked like from the inside. We only had 100 metres to go and we would be able to peer into the volcano.

Suddenly, smoke started to rise from within the volcano. The ground trembled beneath my feet. The air smelt like burnt toast. A billowing cloud of smoke rose into the air. I was not the smartest person in my class, but I knew this smoke was deadly. I had to get away. Everyone in our tour was screaming. The tour guide started yelling over the top of us, trying to get our attention.

“Run!” he shouted at the top of his lungs over our voices. I turned away and ran back down the path, doing everything I could to save my life. As I looked back, I could see everyone following me. Smoke was everywhere. It made it hard to see, and made my eyes sting. It was so hard to sprint down the rocky mountain. Suddenly, a spurt of lava came out of the volcano, chasing us down the mountain.

# data[].attributes.body
“I’m so tired”, said Fat Tony. He had called himself Fat Tony because he was ridiculously overweight and didn’t want people to tease him behind his back. He would just admit it himself. We had only walked around a hundred metres up the volcano when he started showing signs of fatigue. The rest of us were super-fit, and were far from needing a sip of water. Still, we all stopped to let Fat Tony regain his composure. He quickly downed one bottle of water and we set off again. Only to stop dead as we heard a weird, familiar sound. A loud sound. One that we all recognised as a volcanic eruption. And a dark cloud had started to form in the sky. It was spreading fast. It took probably two seconds for the situation to click, then we all realised at the same time. Suddenly, it was as if a panic attack had hit everyone right in the face and we all started running for our dear lives. Although no-one else knew this, I knew the effects of danger on the human body. It releases extra energy into your system to help you get out fast. I used this to my advantage, but I knew lava was faster. Fat Tony tripped over a plant and started rolling uncontrollably down the mountain. That gave us an idea. We all threw ourselves onto the ground and started rolling, but we were obviously not as fast as the rather round Fat Tony.

(Edited)
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# data[].attributes.body
The truck chugged along the track. Heat was rising all around me, the driver screamed and jumped out. I took the que and jumped with him. I looked at the rising heat the driver was gone it was up to me to take care of myself. I stopped and looked up, the mountain burst up. Ashes flew everywhere I ran, using all of my strength. As I ran I over took the driver, the molten lava was right behind me I watched it engulf the driver. I shook my head and kept running. I took a breath barely thinking I started to choke. I needed to get away from the lava. After a little while the lava had engulfed most of the surroundings, I looked up there was a town, I should be safe there.

# data[].attributes.body
“Hey Carlos” I yell over the loud blades of the helicopter, “is the volcano supposed to have smoke coming out of it?” I question.

“Ah I don’t know Señorita probably,” he says.

We start our descent to the inactive volcano. The sound of the meatal scraping against the rock hurts my ears, I start walking up when I smell the smoke. Ok now I am worried. I walk up the face of the volcano.  “Ahhhhhhh” I look at the bottom of my shoe there is a big melted hole in the bottom of my boots there is a hot rock melting my shoes.

“CARLOS Help me my foot”

“CARLOS?” No response I look up the volcano to see hot molten lava I start limping trying to get to the helicopter.

# data[].attributes.body
ft
 

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Sam 2nd draft
Sam 2nd draft
 
Volcano 

“Ten more miles!” I yell we were at the foot of a huge dormant volcano in the Middle East. If you don’t know me I am an armature explorer with only a paint ball gun as protection I am going with my friends we are going to the centre of the country which is under ground in a dormant volcano there is a tunnel that goes to a gold mine in the canter of the earth. 

An hour later we reach the top we look down the solfa smells like 1,000 rotten eggs. Bang the tiny hole in the creator explodes and a huge bit smoke blows out as being the dumb guy I am I get out my paint ball gun and shoot the smoke. The gun kicks me back I fall down as lava fly’s out the top I tumble down the paint bullets pop and red paint goes everywhere if makes my cuts look worse the air heats up and red hot lava floods out, I get up and run for my life  

I look back at my burning town I see the lava near my house “mum, dad” I mutter under my breath and run back into town to save them 
 

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Matt 2nd
Matt 2nd
 
“Everybody run!!” we run, as I smell smoke and behind we see lava killing plants. “Look a cave” and there is a little cave which looks like a safe place to hide. We jump in the cave, it’s almost pitch dark and is has a low roof. Phew were safe, I thought. We plan to let the lava pass, then go back down. We wait a few minutes, just then I see a rock turning orange, and gee it’s really heating up here. “Aah lava I scream” everyone sees it, again we run outside it looks like a parkour course. I jump on the first rock then the rest of our group comes, my brother behind me. Suddenly I hear a scream behind me, as my brother falls into lava. “noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

 

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Second Draft-Matthew
Second Draft-Matthew
 
The truck chugged along the track. Heat was rising all around me, the driver screamed and jumped out. I took the que and jumped with him. I looked at the rising heat the driver was gone it was up to me to take care of myself. I stopped and looked up, the mountain burst up. Ashes flew everywhere I ran, using all of my strength. As I ran I over took the driver, the molten lava was right behind me I watched it engulf the driver. I shook my head and kept running. I took a breath barely thinking I started to choke. I needed to get away from the lava. After a little while the lava had engulfed most of the surroundings, I looked up there was a town, I should be safe there. 

 

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Ewan Second Draft
Ewan Second Draft
 

# data[].attributes.body
ft
 

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Allan Sicks Emm 2
Allan Sicks Emm 2
 
“I’m so tired”, said Fat Tony. He had called himself Fat Tony because he was ridiculously overweight and didn’t want people to tease him behind his back. He would just admit it himself. We had only walked around a hundred metres up the volcano when he started showing signs of fatigue. The rest of us were super-fit, and were far from needing a sip of water. Still, we all stopped to let Fat Tony regain his composure. He quickly downed one bottle of water and we set off again. Only to stop dead as we heard a weird, familiar sound. A loud sound. One that we all recognised as a volcanic eruption. And a dark cloud had started to form in the sky. It was spreading fast. It took probably two seconds for the situation to click, then we all realised at the same time. Suddenly, it was as if a panic attack had hit everyone right in the face and we all started running for our dear lives. Although no-one else knew this, I knew the effects of danger on the human body. It releases extra energy into your system to help you get out fast. I used this to my advantage, but I knew lava was faster. Fat Tony tripped over a plant and started rolling uncontrollably down the mountain. That gave us an idea. We all threw ourselves onto the ground and started rolling, but we were obviously not as fast as the rather round Fat Tony. 

(Edited)
 

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Sam 2nd draft
Sam 2nd draft
 
Volcano 

“Ten more miles!” I yell we were at the foot of a huge dormant volcano in the Middle East. If you don’t know me I am an armature explorer with only a paint ball gun as protection I am going with my friends we are going to the centre of the country which is under ground in a dormant volcano there is a tunnel that goes to a gold mine in the canter of the earth. 

An hour later we reach the top we look down the solfa smells like 1,000 rotten eggs. Bang the tiny hole in the creator explodes and a huge bit smoke blows out as being the dumb guy I am I get out my paint ball gun and shoot the smoke. The gun kicks me back I fall down as lava fly’s out the top I tumble down the paint bullets pop and red paint goes everywhere if makes my cuts look worse the air heats up and red hot lava floods out, I get up and run for my life  

I look back at my burning town I see the lava near my house “mum, dad” I mutter under my breath and run back into town to save them 
 

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Matt 2nd
Matt 2nd
 
“Everybody run!!” we run, as I smell smoke and behind we see lava killing plants. “Look a cave” and there is a little cave which looks like a safe place to hide. We jump in the cave, it’s almost pitch dark and is has a low roof. Phew were safe, I thought. We plan to let the lava pass, then go back down. We wait a few minutes, just then I see a rock turning orange, and gee it’s really heating up here. “Aah lava I scream” everyone sees it, again we run outside it looks like a parkour course. I jump on the first rock then the rest of our group comes, my brother behind me. Suddenly I hear a scream behind me, as my brother falls into lava. “noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

 

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Second Draft-Matthew
Second Draft-Matthew
 
The truck chugged along the track. Heat was rising all around me, the driver screamed and jumped out. I took the que and jumped with him. I looked at the rising heat the driver was gone it was up to me to take care of myself. I stopped and looked up, the mountain burst up. Ashes flew everywhere I ran, using all of my strength. As I ran I over took the driver, the molten lava was right behind me I watched it engulf the driver. I shook my head and kept running. I took a breath barely thinking I started to choke. I needed to get away from the lava. After a little while the lava had engulfed most of the surroundings, I looked up there was a town, I should be safe there. 

 

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Ewan Second Draft
Ewan Second Draft
 

# data[].attributes.body
Volcano eruption

On March the 18th 2003, I went on a hike to a volcano that I thought was dormant but when I got about 200 meters from the top something exploded it was a massive ‘BANG!’ I was so scared and I looked up and I sore smoke coming out of the volcano then all of a sudden there was this massive slide of lava running down the hill, I had quick reactions and sore a little cave type thing, so I ran to it but I got close and slipped down the hill a bit, it was too far to make it all the way down without it catching up to me so I ran back up and jumped into the cave, only just making it in time. I wedge up at the edge of the cave and waited. I was terrified and then the lava started pouring down in front of me and some started coming into the cave, I wedge up even more and right when I thought it was safe but then I sore a big brown snake next to me. I jumped and hit my head, at that time I had blacked out. I was out for a long time and then woke up to pitch black and something slithering along my body, I knew it was the snake and the lava had filled the cave.

My foot was wedge under something and it was hearting so much, I tried to pull it and I got it out but now I had no foot. Just then I jumped up and shock the snake off standing one leg I then ran into where the lava had blocked the cave and I knocked a little chip but it had dried up fully, I could now see as the light was coming in. I reached for a stick and started spiking the snake in the head.

# data[].attributes.body
SECOND DRAFT

“Ah! What is that” I shouted. As we drive over a big bump.

“Where here.” “Where”, I ask.

“Der” the instructor yells over the noise of the engine. “The most world none dormant volcano in the world!”

“Oh sorry,” I shout over the noise I lift my head off the hay and look out at the front truck. I saw something amazing. I saw something I had never seen before. The massive rock is right in front of me. I started to stand up, and as I did the truck suddenly stopped and I fell right off the back of the truck. The truck then kept on going. I had just fallen of the truck In the middle of nowhere. I shout back but it’s no use. I am I stuck here I thought as I start to run after him, but as I do I see a burst of smoke thrown up into the air. “Oh snap” I say under my breath. I see the sky turning grey as the smoke keeps on growing. Boom! A big explosion raced in front of my face. The lava burst out of the volcano.

# data[].attributes.body
ft
 

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Allan Sicks Emm 2
Allan Sicks Emm 2
 
“I’m so tired”, said Fat Tony. He had called himself Fat Tony because he was ridiculously overweight and didn’t want people to tease him behind his back. He would just admit it himself. We had only walked around a hundred metres up the volcano when he started showing signs of fatigue. The rest of us were super-fit, and were far from needing a sip of water. Still, we all stopped to let Fat Tony regain his composure. He quickly downed one bottle of water and we set off again. Only to stop dead as we heard a weird, familiar sound. A loud sound. One that we all recognised as a volcanic eruption. And a dark cloud had started to form in the sky. It was spreading fast. It took probably two seconds for the situation to click, then we all realised at the same time. Suddenly, it was as if a panic attack had hit everyone right in the face and we all started running for our dear lives. Although no-one else knew this, I knew the effects of danger on the human body. It releases extra energy into your system to help you get out fast. I used this to my advantage, but I knew lava was faster. Fat Tony tripped over a plant and started rolling uncontrollably down the mountain. That gave us an idea. We all threw ourselves onto the ground and started rolling, but we were obviously not as fast as the rather round Fat Tony. 

(Edited)
 

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Sam 2nd draft
Sam 2nd draft
 
Volcano 

“Ten more miles!” I yell we were at the foot of a huge dormant volcano in the Middle East. If you don’t know me I am an armature explorer with only a paint ball gun as protection I am going with my friends we are going to the centre of the country which is under ground in a dormant volcano there is a tunnel that goes to a gold mine in the canter of the earth. 

An hour later we reach the top we look down the solfa smells like 1,000 rotten eggs. Bang the tiny hole in the creator explodes and a huge bit smoke blows out as being the dumb guy I am I get out my paint ball gun and shoot the smoke. The gun kicks me back I fall down as lava fly’s out the top I tumble down the paint bullets pop and red paint goes everywhere if makes my cuts look worse the air heats up and red hot lava floods out, I get up and run for my life  

I look back at my burning town I see the lava near my house “mum, dad” I mutter under my breath and run back into town to save them 
 

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Matt 2nd
Matt 2nd
 
“Everybody run!!” we run, as I smell smoke and behind we see lava killing plants. “Look a cave” and there is a little cave which looks like a safe place to hide. We jump in the cave, it’s almost pitch dark and is has a low roof. Phew were safe, I thought. We plan to let the lava pass, then go back down. We wait a few minutes, just then I see a rock turning orange, and gee it’s really heating up here. “Aah lava I scream” everyone sees it, again we run outside it looks like a parkour course. I jump on the first rock then the rest of our group comes, my brother behind me. Suddenly I hear a scream behind me, as my brother falls into lava. “noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

 

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Second Draft-Matthew
Second Draft-Matthew
 
The truck chugged along the track. Heat was rising all around me, the driver screamed and jumped out. I took the que and jumped with him. I looked at the rising heat the driver was gone it was up to me to take care of myself. I stopped and looked up, the mountain burst up. Ashes flew everywhere I ran, using all of my strength. As I ran I over took the driver, the molten lava was right behind me I watched it engulf the driver. I shook my head and kept running. I took a breath barely thinking I started to choke. I needed to get away from the lava. After a little while the lava had engulfed most of the surroundings, I looked up there was a town, I should be safe there. 

 

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Ewan Second Draft
Ewan Second Draft
 

# data[].attributes.body
ft
 

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Allan Sicks Emm 2
Allan Sicks Emm 2
 
“I’m so tired”, said Fat Tony. He had called himself Fat Tony because he was ridiculously overweight and didn’t want people to tease him behind his back. He would just admit it himself. We had only walked around a hundred metres up the volcano when he started showing signs of fatigue. The rest of us were super-fit, and were far from needing a sip of water. Still, we all stopped to let Fat Tony regain his composure. He quickly downed one bottle of water and we set off again. Only to stop dead as we heard a weird, familiar sound. A loud sound. One that we all recognised as a volcanic eruption. And a dark cloud had started to form in the sky. It was spreading fast. It took probably two seconds for the situation to click, then we all realised at the same time. Suddenly, it was as if a panic attack had hit everyone right in the face and we all started running for our dear lives. Although no-one else knew this, I knew the effects of danger on the human body. It releases extra energy into your system to help you get out fast. I used this to my advantage, but I knew lava was faster. Fat Tony tripped over a plant and started rolling uncontrollably down the mountain. That gave us an idea. We all threw ourselves onto the ground and started rolling, but we were obviously not as fast as the rather round Fat Tony. 

(Edited)
 

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Sam 2nd draft
Sam 2nd draft
 
Volcano 

“Ten more miles!” I yell we were at the foot of a huge dormant volcano in the Middle East. If you don’t know me I am an armature explorer with only a paint ball gun as protection I am going with my friends we are going to the centre of the country which is under ground in a dormant volcano there is a tunnel that goes to a gold mine in the canter of the earth. 

An hour later we reach the top we look down the solfa smells like 1,000 rotten eggs. Bang the tiny hole in the creator explodes and a huge bit smoke blows out as being the dumb guy I am I get out my paint ball gun and shoot the smoke. The gun kicks me back I fall down as lava fly’s out the top I tumble down the paint bullets pop and red paint goes everywhere if makes my cuts look worse the air heats up and red hot lava floods out, I get up and run for my life  

I look back at my burning town I see the lava near my house “mum, dad” I mutter under my breath and run back into town to save them 
 

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Matt 2nd
Matt 2nd
 
“Everybody run!!” we run, as I smell smoke and behind we see lava killing plants. “Look a cave” and there is a little cave which looks like a safe place to hide. We jump in the cave, it’s almost pitch dark and is has a low roof. Phew were safe, I thought. We plan to let the lava pass, then go back down. We wait a few minutes, just then I see a rock turning orange, and gee it’s really heating up here. “Aah lava I scream” everyone sees it, again we run outside it looks like a parkour course. I jump on the first rock then the rest of our group comes, my brother behind me. Suddenly I hear a scream behind me, as my brother falls into lava. “noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

 

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Second Draft-Matthew
Second Draft-Matthew
 
The truck chugged along the track. Heat was rising all around me, the driver screamed and jumped out. I took the que and jumped with him. I looked at the rising heat the driver was gone it was up to me to take care of myself. I stopped and looked up, the mountain burst up. Ashes flew everywhere I ran, using all of my strength. As I ran I over took the driver, the molten lava was right behind me I watched it engulf the driver. I shook my head and kept running. I took a breath barely thinking I started to choke. I needed to get away from the lava. After a little while the lava had engulfed most of the surroundings, I looked up there was a town, I should be safe there. 

 

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Ewan Second Draft
Ewan Second Draft
 

# data[].attributes.body
A cloud of thousands of birds rushes over our troop as we climbed up to the top of the dormant volcano Fuhjuli. The smell of rotten eggs and burning charcoal is inhaled by as all as we continue our steep climb. “Look out” someone shout as a rock falls straight past us and strangely splatters on the ground, “this can’t be right,” I mutter as hundreds of rocks start splatting everywhere. A loud siren starts wailing like there is an air raid about to happen, fire spurts up from the ground below like a monster grabbing its next victim. The ground shrivels and shrinks under our feet as it vibrates loudly. Rocks and uprooted plants fall like the sparks surrounding us. Then Mother Nature claps her hands and a loud boom fills the plain. “Run” people shout as a thick grey cloud of ash covers the ground. It is All over now

# data[].attributes.body
I look up and see the huge Volcano fortunately the volcano is dormant so it will not erupt. I start trekking up the huge hill it looks like it will take forever. I just want to see the top of this volcano. The stench is worse than all other volcanoes that I have been to. I do not know why but I feel extremely nervous. It is quite a hot day but that is just because all volcanoes are hot. My legs start to shake and I tell myself toughen up this is not the first time you have done this. The earth rumbled around me and I thought okay this is a dormant volcano what is happening. It started to smell even worse it smelt like burnt toast except a thousand times stronger. I yell at Ross,” but he can not hear me over the rumble“ Bang the mountain pushed upwards knocking me off my feet. The mountain erupts and I run as fast as my fat little legs can take me than nothing.

# data[].attributes.body
Volcano

“Ten more miles!” I yell we were at the foot of a huge dormant volcano in the Middle East. If you don’t know me I am an armature explorer with only a paint ball gun as protection I am going with my friends we are going to the centre of the country which is under ground in a dormant volcano there is a tunnel that goes to a gold mine in the canter of the earth.

An hour later we reach the top we look down the solfa smells like 1,000 rotten eggs. Bang the tiny hole in the creator explodes and a huge bit smoke blows out as being the dumb guy I am I get out my paint ball gun and shoot the smoke. The gun kicks me back I fall down as lava fly’s out the top I tumble down the paint bullets pop and red paint goes everywhere if makes my cuts look worse the air heats up and red hot lava floods out, I get up and run for my life

I look back at my burning town I see the lava near my house “mum, dad” I mutter under my breath and run back into town to save them

# data[].attributes.body
“Everybody run!!” we run, as I smell smoke and behind we see lava killing plants. “Look a cave” and there is a little cave which looks like a safe place to hide. We jump in the cave, it’s almost pitch dark and is has a low roof. Phew were safe, I thought. We plan to let the lava pass, then go back down. We wait a few minutes, just then I see a rock turning orange, and gee it’s really heating up here. “Aah lava I scream” everyone sees it, again we run outside it looks like a parkour course. I jump on the first rock then the rest of our group comes, my brother behind me. Suddenly I hear a scream behind me, as my brother falls into lava. “noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

# data[].attributes.body
“I’m so tired”, said Fat Tony. He had called himself Fat Tony because he was ridiculously overweight and didn’t want people to tease him behind his back. He would just admit it himself. We had only walked around a hundred metres up the volcano when he started showing signs of fatigue. The rest of us were super-fit, and were far from needing a sip of water. Still, we all stopped to let Fat Tony regain his composure. He quickly downed one bottle of water and we set off again. Only to stop dead as we heard a weird sound. A loud sound. One that we all recognised as a volcanic eruption. Suddenly, it was as if a panic attack had hit everyone right in the face and we all started running for our dear lives. Although no-one else knew this, I knew the effects of danger on the human body. It releases extra energy into your system to help you get out fast. I used this to my advantage, but I knew lava was faster.

(not edited))

# data[].attributes.body
I was walking up the dormant volcano when the ground started rumbling. I thought it just randomly did it so I kept going up because I wanted to take some pictures of the volcano but when I got to the top, I saw lava almost coming out of the top crater like thing. I heard a loud popping noise, it hurt my ears badly, I started sprinting down the mountain seeing the lava coming down the mountain I knew if it touched me, I would be dead. The smell was awful, and I knew if I inhaled too much I would too. I was almost at the bottom, I looked back and saw ash flying out of the volcano, one of them almost hit me but I just dodged it. I felt like I was in a movie, diving away from flying ash, just missing me. I thought I was finished with my run, I was about to hop in my car when a big boulder hit me square on the head and I died.

# data[].attributes.body
Ahhhhh! I was climbing up a dormant volcano and then I heard a massive bang and smoke coming out of the top. Now the smoke was streaming down my lungs and I had started to a cough and splatter. There were two other people on the walk not including the tour guide. I saw I lava slowly trickling down the mountain I kept yelling at the guide but she was but it was like she was frozen solid. The other two people in our group were frozen too. I just took the chances for myself and bolted the gravel was crumbling under my feet and my face felt like a marshmallow being toasted in the fire.

# data[].attributes.body
Suddenly we stopped. I asked my mum why we had stopped and she said that there was car crash up ahead and that everyone had stopped.

# data[].attributes.body
The volcanic eruption

As I continued the long exciting hike up the tall burnt mountain I saw a puff of smoke emerge from the rocky top. The smoke fell down past me, it smelt like burnt toast that had been left in the toaster for years. It almost made me want to go back down and drive away forever, but I couldn’t not until I reached the top. The red hot ashes started getting into my throat, so I coughed them out. But they kept on coming in again every time I loudly coughed them out they returned. As I was 2 metres from the top of the mountain something grey and orange started oozing out of the grey stained mountain. I tried not getting in its way and continued my tiring hike to the top. But more just kept on coming and coming until I realised it was LAVA!
I started running down the rocky cliff as fast as I could, but the lava was too fast. The backs of my hiking boots started melting. So I threw them off and jumped down to the next level. But as I  Jumped down I had a very unsteady landing and tripped. I couldn't move and now the lava was coming to encase me.

# data[].attributes.body
“Come on Gus,” Finn called to me” you’re too slow”.

We were going on a hike up a dormant volcano. The cool air streamed across my face and gives me that sensation that I always get when I’m outdoors, suddenly I hear a bang and I wonder if those miners that are digging inside the mountain have had some problem until I see black smoke streaming out of the supposably dormant volcano. Those miners are probably not going so well anymore. I saw a small figure in the distance,

“Finn, come on,” I cried “we have to get out of here”

I heard some muffled cry and it took all of my will power to stop myself from running away. I ran after the startled voice. The smoke hit me like a hammer, it smelt dark and made me cough when I tried to breath, red liquid was rushing towards me but I continued running up the dreaded mountain,

“Finn!” I shouted using all that was left of my voice.

I heard no answer

# data[].attributes.body
A cloud of thousands of birds rushes over our troop as we climbed up to the top of the dormant volcano Fuhjuli. The smell of rotten eggs and burning charcoal is inhaled by as all as we continue our steep climb. “Look out” someone shout as a rock falls straight past us and strangely splatters on the ground, “this can’t be right,” I mutter as hundreds of rocks start splatting everywhere. A loud siren starts wailing like there is an air raid about to happen, fire spurts up from the ground below like a monster grabbing its next victim. The ground shrivels and shrinks under our feet as it vibrates loudly. Rocks and uprooted plants fall like the sparks surrounding us. Then Mother Nature claps her hands and a loud boom fills the plain. “Run” people shout as a thick grey cloud of ash covers the ground. It is All over now. The lava flows down what once was a walking track as sparks flew through the air. Puffs of smoke came up from the volcano like a steam train. A wildfire spread across the valley as a warm heat swelled against my head I was almost down the mountain but the end of the path was like a swimming pool of ash. I waded through on my back my heart raging as I looked back at the gods thrashing down on the world lightning struck everywhere. I continued to wade through but the ash; it was pulling me like quicksand. My mouth filled with dirt as I looked back up at the sky a dead branch lay balancing of the tree I looked for my backpack and tried to find something I could use. That was it I got my backpack strap and started to lasso the branch. The fire was even closer now, I finally got the branch and pulled up out of the ash and quickly ran away.

# data[].attributes.body
The volcanic eruption

As we hiked up the mountain trying to look at a dormant volcano. Suddenly we saw ginormous cloud of ashes explode from the top of the mountain.

“It’s a volcano,” Will shouts at the top of his voice.

Will and Patrick turn around and start running down the mountain. Ashes start to get into their throats and they start coughing. Will collapses to the ground coughing really hard that his chest feels like its burning on fire. Patrick helps him up and they continue running, but they are running very slowly because they might fall off the mountain. They here crackles from above them. BOOM! The volcano erupts with lava. It starts to heat up around them. They are both in big trouble. They can see lava flow over the other side of the mountain and off the edge and to where they can’t see. CRACK! The rock above us cracks open and lava comes through. A drip of lava lands on Will’s arm. It feels like putting your hand in a fire. ARHHHHHHH! Will and Patrick start to run faster. Patrick slips and Will falls over him and falls off the cliff. Patrick sees Will’s dead body lying on a rock.

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“Everybody run!!” we run, as I smell smoke and behind we see lava killing plants. “Look a cave” and there is a little cave which looks like a safe place to hide. We jump in the cave, it’s almost pitch dark and is has a low roof. Phew were safe, I thought. We plan to let the lava pass, then go back down. We wait a few minutes, just then I see a rock turning orange, and gee it’s really heating up here. “Aah lava I scream” everyone sees it, again we run outside it looks like a parkour course. I jump on the first rock then the rest of our group comes, my brother behind me. Suddenly I hear a scream behind me, as my brother falls into lava. “noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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I looked up the dormant volcano, one which hadn’t erupted for the past million years. I started going up the great big volcano and passed some farmers with their crops of the face of the volcano. Suddenly a rumble happened of in the centre of the volcano. A mound came up out of the ground and lava started flowing out of it.

At once I called the emergency to evacuate the area. Smoke started puffing out of the centre of the top. I ran down to the nearest farmhouse told the man what had happened and I and him drove down the hillside followed by many other cars at 100 kilometres trying to get far enough away from the horrid volcano. A big boulder flew out of the volcano and tumbled down the hill setting everything on fire in its path. A helicopter flew up and put through the radio where all the volcanic activity was happening and the safest way down. I shiver went down my back as I mound came up in front of us. The farmer went faster and we went up the mound and just got over the boiling lava. One of the wheels burst on fire at being so close to the fire. We jumped out and ran ten metres away from the car before it blew up. Now we had to run two kilometres to down the rest of the volcano.

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Volcano

“Ten more miles” I yell we were at the foot of a huge dormant volcano in the Middle East. If you don’t know me I am an armature explorer with only a paint ball gun as protection I am going with my friends we are going to the centre of the country which is under ground in a dormant volcano there is a tunnel that goes to a gold mine in the canter of the earth.

An hour later we reach the top we look down the solfa smells like 1,000 rotten eggs. Bang the tiny hole in the creator explodes and a huge bit smoke blows out as being the dumb guy I am I get out my paint ball gun and shoot the smoke. The gun kicks me back I fall down as lava fly’s out the top

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This is the biggest opportunity in my life. I am so excited. The day has finally come. I have just received intelligence that I am going to be the one who films the volcano for the new upcoming documentary. My legs are giving way as I trek up the behemoth of a volcano that has not erupted for millions of years. I finally reach the top but instantly jerk my leg back as I spot something red. Phew, I think, just a plant. I keep on walking, I genuinely think I spot some liquid running through holes, but I ignore it, for everything else seems too low key for something to happen. I scale the entire face of the volcano, and I get ready to leave, when I see that my camera wasn’t recording. Damn! I think, I have to do it again. The liquid I saw in the cracks was rapidly applying more pressure. I feel uneasy now. But I go on with my job. Bang! A loud boom sends smoke flying into the air and hot lava comes rushing towards me. I see no escape. I smell the smoke in the air, it is just like an overdone marshmallow, I can sense my impending doom, and then all of a sudden I feel nothing. It feels like the world is slipping away. I am desperate to stay alive, I must stay al……

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The siren sounded, my inner soul screamed! I swiftly dashed towards my parent’s room. We needed to leave this disintegrating land! A vulgar aroma filled the air forcing me to cough a splutter. I could hear glass shattering and humans yelping, tree’s once green, are now black, white cars, now grey. My mouth went bitter; I could taste the toxic fumes as the swirled through my lungs. My father was awoken, he was wailing like a cat with no tail. The windows, now completely covered with debris and shrapnel! My brain felt like it was being fried on a stovetop. The blue clouds were once so pretty, but no longer. All flights would be cancelled due to ash, I said to myself. ‘Come on Liam, Come on’’ said my dad in a loud voice. I struggled to hear him due to the loud eruption

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The truck chugged along the track. Heat was rising all around me, the pilot screamed and jumped out. I took the que and jumped with him. I looked at the rising heat the pilot was gone it was up to me to take care of myself. I stopped and looked up, the mountain burst up. Ashes flew everywhere I ran, using all of my strength. As I ran I over took the driver, the molten lava was right behind me I watched it engulf the driver. I shook my head and kept running. I took a breath barely thinking I started to choke. I needed to get away from the lava. After a little while the lava had engulfed most of the surroundings, I looked up there was a town I should be safe there.

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This is the biggest opportunity in my life. I am so excited. The day has finally come. I have just received intelligence that I am going to be the one who films the volcano for the new upcoming documentary. My legs are giving way as I trek up the behemoth of a volcano that has not erupted for millions of years. I finally reach the top but instantly jerk my leg back as I spot something red. Phew, I think, just a plant. I keep on walking, I genuinely think I spot some liquid running through holes, but I ignore it, for everything else seems too low key for something to happen. I scale the entire face of the volcano, and I get ready to leave, when I see that my camera wasn’t recording. Damn! I think, I have to do it again. The liquid I saw in the cracks was rapidly applying more pressure. I feel uneasy now. But I go on with my job. Bang! A loud boom sends smoke flying into the air and hot lava comes rushing towards me. I see no escape. I smell the smoke in the air, it is just like an overdone marshmallow, I can sense my impending doom, and then all of a sudden I feel nothing. I die

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“Ah! What is that” I shouted. As we drive over a big bump.

“Where here.” “Where”, I ask.

“Der” the instructor yells over the noise of the engine. “The most world none dormant volcano in the world!”

“Oh sorry,” I shout over the noise I lift my head off the hay and look out at the front truck. I saw something amazing. I saw something I had never seen before. The massive rock is right in front of me. I started to stand up, and as I did the truck suddenly stopped and I fell right off the back of the truck. The truck then kept on going. I had just fallen of the truck In the middle of nowhere. I shout back but it’s no use. I am I stuck here I thought as I start to run after him, but as I do I see a burst of smoke thrown up into the air. “Oh snap” I say under my breath.

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“Come on Gus,” Finn called to me” you’re too slow”.

We were going on a hike up dormant volcano. The cool air streams across my face and gives me that sensation that I always get when I’m outdoors, suddenly I hear a bang and I wonder if those miners that are digging inside the mountain have had some problem until I see black smoke streaming out of the supposedly doormat volcano.

“Finn,” I cried “we have to get out of here”

I heard some muffled cry and it took all of my will power to stop myself from running away. I ran after the startled voice. The smoke hit me like a hammer, it smelt dark and made me cough when I tried to breath I continued running up the dreaded mountain,

“Finn” I shouted using all that was left of my voice.

I heard no answer

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“Everybody run!!” we run, as I smell smoke and behind we see lava killing plants. “Look a cave” and there is a little cave which looks like a safe place to hide. we jump in the cave, its almost pitch dark and is has a low roof. phew were safe. We plan to let the lava pass, then go back down. We wait a few minutes, Just then I see a rock turning orange, and gee it’s really heating up here. “aah lava I scream” everyone sees it, again we run outside it looks like a parkour course. I jump on the first rock then the rest of our group comes, my brother behind me. Suddenly i hear a scream behind me, as my brother falls into lava.

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I could feel the heat on my burnt skin, taste the smoke and gas in my lungs why did I have to come here? How did it erupt with me on it? They didn’t say it would erupt! They didn’t say I would die! Why do I have the worst luck in the world why? I thought as a huge gust of smoke pushed me over and held my now weak and frail body down to the ground and as I fell I started to faintly hear sirens in the distance and then the smoke I had breathed in started to make me nauseous and just before I blacked out I saw my life flash before my eyes. I saw me playing soccer on the grass with my dad,  I saw me on my last day of school, I saw me wandering around my huge university and finally I saw me going on a plane to my death

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I look up and see the huge Volcano fortunately the volcano is dormant so it will not erupt. I start trekking up the huge hill it looks like it will take forever. I just want to see the top of this volcano. The stench is worse than all other volcanoes that I have been to. I do not know why but I feel extremely scared. It is quite a hot day but that is just because all volcanoes are hot. My legs start to shake and I tell myself toughen up this is not the first time you have done this. The earth rumbled around me and I thought okay this is a dormant volcano what is happening. It started to smell even worse it smelt like burnt toast except a thousand times stronger. Bang the mountain pushed upwards knocking me off my feet. The mountain erupts, the poisonous gas kills me, and my body is buried under the lava.

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Hey Carlos I yell over the loud blades of the helicopter, is the volcano supposed to have smoke coming out of it? I question.

Ah I don’t know Señorita probably, he says.

We start our descent to the inactive volcano. The sound of the metal scraping against the rock, I start walking up when I smell the smoke. OK now I am worried

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I trek up to the dormant volcano with my friend Tom, Mount Ingénues is the name. I carry my blue leather backpack and sit down to have a snack. I sit on a rock when my bum starts feels vibration. I stand back up and see my back pack moving like jelly. “Tom,” I yell, “What’s happening?” we look at each other in the eyes and in synchronisation we start running down the mountain almost falling over each other. We come to a dead end. Black rock makes us walk back in the other direction. Then, Poof! I fall to the ground like a bullet had shot me as I can see big black cloud of smoke emerge from the volcano into the once blue sky. The air turns smoky and we see bright red lava melting the black rocks and coming towards at significant pace. Jack and I tremble in fear as we look for cover from the molten lava. As I ran I can feel the smoke I inhale. My chest puffs out and I get short of breath. The lava is too fast and I can’t do anything about it. I sit down out of breath, out of life…

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Volcano eruption

On march the 18th 2003, I went on a hike to a volcano that I thought was dormant but when I got about 200 meters from the top something exploded it was a massive BANG! I was so scared and I looked up and I sore smoke coming out of the volcano then all of a sudden there was this massive slide of lava running down the hill, I had quick reactions and sore a little cave type thing, so I ran to it but I got close and slipped down the hill a bit, it was too far to make it all the way down without it catching up to me so I ran back up and jumped into the cave, only just making it in time. I wedge up at the edge of the cave and waited. I was terrified and then the lava started pouring down in front of me and some started coming into the cave, I wedge up even more and right when I thought it was safe but then I sore a big brown snake next to me.

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The volcanic eruption

As we hiked up the mountain, we saw ginormous clouds of ashes explode from the top of this mountain.

“It’s a volcano,” Will shouts.

Will And Patrick turn around and start running down the mountain. Ashes get into their throats and they start coughing. Will collapses to the ground coughing really hard that his chest feels like its burning up. Patrick helps him up and they continue running but they are running very slowly because they might fall off the mountain. They here crackles from above them. BOOM! The volcano erupts with lava. It starts to heat up around them. They are both in big trouble. They see lava flow over the other side of the mountain and off the edge. CRACK! The rock above us cracks open and lava comes through. A drip of lava lands on Will’s arm. It feels like acid burning through skin. ARHHHHHHH! Will and Patrick start to run faster. Patrick slips and Will falls over him and off the cliff. Patrick sees Will’s dead body lying on a rock.

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Ahhhhh! I was climbing up a dormant volcano and then I heard a massive bang and smoke coming out of the top. Now the smoke was streaming down my lungs and I had started to a cough and splatter. There were two other people on the walk not including the tour guide.

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I was walking up the dormant volcano when the ground started rumbling. I thought it just randomly did it so I kept going up because I wanted to take some pictures of the volcano but when I got to the top I saw lava almost coming out of the top crater like thing. I heard a loud popping noise, it hurt my ears badly, I started sprinting down the mountain seeing the lava coming down the mountain I knew if it touched me I’d be dead. The smell was awful, and I knew if I inhaled to much I would too. I was almost at the bottom, I looked back and saw ash flying out of the volcano, one of them almost hit me but I just dodged it. I felt like I was in a movie, diving away from flying ash, just missing me. I thought I was finished with my run, I was about to hop in my car when a big boulder hit me square on the head and I died.

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I could hear the sound of the volcano erupting. The lava was rushing down the mountain getting closer to the town. Everyone was running and screaming in terror lots of people were getting in their cars and driving away from the town.  My parents came to me and said to get in the car. I quickly ran back home and got in the car my younger brother was already in the car my parents got in the car and we drove off. The lava had just reached the town. Houses were being destroyed. After about 10 minutes the whole town had been destroyed.

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Our tour guide led us up a steep path. I was so excited. I would be able to look at what a dormant volcano looked like from the inside. We only had  100 metres to go and we would be able to peer into the volcano. Suddenly, smoke started to rise from within the volcano. The ground trembled beneath my feet. The air smelt like burnt toast. A billowing cloud of smoke rose into the air. Everyone in our tour was screaming. The tour guide started yelling.

“Run!” he shouted at the top of his lungs over our voices. I turned away and ran back down the path, as he had told us. As I looked back, I could see everyone following me. Smoke was everywhere. It made it hard to see, and made my eyes sting. Suddenly, a spurt of lava came out of the volcano, chasing us down the mountain.

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I saw a volcano in the distance, about 500 metres away. I started walking to the bottom of the dormant volcano. I decided to walk up it. Because I thought what are the chances of it exploding now. As I was half way up the dormant I felt the ground shaking, my heart rate increasing dramatically. I heard from a village near by, of them screaming. The ground is shaking a lot. I started to change my mind about going up here. The ground shook again. And this time as the ground shook, it got very loud. I looked at the top of the volcano and I saw some lava coming out of the top. I was 3 quarters up the volcano. I started to run down the volcano, as my heart rate was increasing. Now I saw a lot of smoke and lava coming from the top of the volcano.  I sprinted down. I could see that the volcano was about to erupt.

(not finished)

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This is my first draft of my paragraph. I hope to get some feedback.

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The volcanic eruption

As I continued the long exciting hike up the tall burnt mountain I saw a puff of smoke emerge from the top. The smoke fell down past me, it smelt like burnt toast that had been left in the toaster for years. It almost made me want to go back down, but I couldn’t not until I reached the top. The ashes started getting into my throat, so I coughed them out. But they kept on coming in again every time I coughed them out. As I was 2 metres from the top of the mountain something grey and orange started oozing out of the mountain. I tried not getting in its way and continued my hike to the top but more just kept on coming and coming until I realised it was LAVA!
I started running as fast as I could, but the lava was to fast the backs of my hiking boots started melting. So I threw them off and jumped down to the next level. But as I  Jumped down I had a very unsteady landing and tripped. I couldn't move and now the lava was coming for me.

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The ground trembled beneath me. A ripple of murmurs and mutters spread through our tour group. Suddenly a giant stream of black smoke came from the top of the so called dormant volcano. As I took a breath a bitter smell came into my nostrils. And, then out of nowhere, the lava started to pour down the mountain.

Chaos ripped through the group like wild fire and within seconds everyone was running for their lives. An uncontrollable fear spread within me like a sickness contaminating by body. So many thoughts rushed through my head as I ran for my life. How could the tour company not have known? Would I survive? But my first priority was to get myself out of there.

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I watched the satisfying lava run down the road I live on as it came past me, I put my hand in the lava and as the slimy boiling lava hit my hand I knew I messed up. It was burning so much and my hand was on fire, it smelt like my dad’s burnt toast and I don’t want to know what it would taste like. My hand was slowly disintegrating by the second, a couple pieces of gravel at a time just falling by. My hand could not stop disintegrating and before I knew it I had no hand. Now my arm was falling off and it looked like it tasted like a burnt avocado. Now I was scared out of my life and soon when my parents will come looking for me all they will find is a big pile of gravel.

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The ground trembled beneath me. A ripple of murmurs and mutters spread through our tour group. Suddenly a giant stream of black smoke came from the top of the so called dormant volcano. As I took a breath a bitter smell came into my nostrils. And, then out of nowhere, the lava started to pour down the mountain.

Then chaos ripped through the group like wild fire and within seconds everyone was running for their lives. An uncontrollable fear spread within me like a sickness. So many thoughts went through my head as I ran for my life. How could the tour company not know? Would I survive? But my first priority was to get myself out of there.

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To write a paragraph describing a scene developing.  Story plot - an eruption occurs while trekking towards the crater of a supposedly dormant volcano.

Emphasis:
- Descriptive language
- Sentence structure - short/sharp and developing tension.
-Dialogue - between characters.