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Creating a Community of Learners | Jordan McFarlen | TEDxRPLCentralLibrary

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A Little Spot of Belonging By Diane Alber READ ALOUD

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📖 🫂 A Little Spot of Belonging By Diane Alber READ ALOUD

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Having a sense of belonging is so important, considering the groups and labels we give ourselves and others. We are members of families, sporting teams, hobbyists, spiritual groups, charities, political parties, cities, countries and nationalities, to name a few. Nearly every aspect of our lives is organized around belonging to something.

The sense of belonging is fundamental to the way humankind organizes itself. If it was unimportant, we would live solitary lives only coming together for procreation then quickly kicking the children out of our lives as soon as they could walk. We would have no families, communities or organized government.

We cannot separate the importance of a sense of belonging from our physical and mental health. The social ties that accompany a sense of belonging are a protective factor helping manage stress and other behavioral issues. When we feel we have support and are not alone, we are more resilient, often coping more effectively with difficult times in our lives. Coping well with hardships decreases the physical and mental effects of these situations.

We begin life with the most crucial of needs - attachment to a caregiver. This is the beginning of our fundamental need for belonging. Studies have shown that children who have not achieved a healthy attachment in their young life have lower self-esteem, a more negative worldview, are mistrustful and can have a perception of rejection.

Depression, anxiety and suicide are common mental health conditions associated with lacking a sense of belonging. These conditions can lead to social behaviors that interfere with a person's ability to connect to others, creating a cycle of events that further weakens a sense of belonging.

Gratefully, we do have control in making changes in our lives to break this cycle and bolster our sense of belonging.

Boost your sense of belonging

So what can you do to increase the sense of belonging in your children and yourself?

Make an effort.
The most crucial ingredient to building a sense of belonging is effort. You cannot belong if you don't choose to make the effort to engage with others. It may feel uncomfortable at first to meet new people, but give it time, as you may need to practice self-talk. Soon the actions will become second nature. Behavioral activation and opposite action are effective strategies for getting yourself to put in the effort. Action often is needed to feel motivated.

Be mindful of others.
Think less about yourself while with others and make the other person or the group your focus. Making conversation is critical to increasing your sense of belonging. It is important to mutually ask questions, make small talk, self-disclose skillfully and listen to people's responses.

Keep and teach an open mind.
Try new activities and meet new people. Consider new ways of thinking. Lead by example so your children can see how it works. Put in effort to seek activities and groups of people who you share common interests with. You may need to make it happen to start. Encourage and support your children to get involved.

Practice an attitude of acceptance.
Recognize that others have different ways of being, which don't have to change you. Focus on similarities rather than differences. Similarities tend to increase bonding. If you feel that people are not like you, focus on a mutual goal, such as a volunteer opportunity. Teach children to validate the feelings of others.

Validate action.
If creating a sense of belonging is challenging for you, remember it is likely challenging for your child, as well. Give them the encouragement you would give yourself. Validate them, just like you need to validate your own action. Remind children and yourself that it can feel discouraging at times and it will get better by continuing to put in the work.

Angela Theisen is a psychotherapist in Psychiatry & Psychology in Eau Claire, Wisconsin.

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When you feel supported and not alone, you can better cope with difficulty in your life. Boost your sense of belonging with these 5 tips.

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Giving Back: 14 Ways to Get Involved in Your Community | Extra Space Storage

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Interested in giving back to your local community? Get involved with these 14 ideas for volunteering, giving donations, and organizing events!

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Connect and lead, how we create community  | Kathy Coffey | TEDxSnoIsleLibraries

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Meaningful Social Connections and Building a Community

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If there are aspects of our human experience that many of us yearn for and thrive in the most, it would be meaningful connections and community.

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Understanding how to set personal limits is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships.

Many people know what the word "boundaries" means, but they have no idea what they are. You might think of boundaries as something like a property line or "brick wall" used to keep people out.

But boundaries are not rigid lines drawn in the sand that are clear for all to see.

Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. When you understand how to set and maintain healthy boundaries, you can avoid the feelings of resentment, disappointment, and anger that build up when limits have been pushed.

Boundaries can take many forms. They can range from being rigid and strict to appearing almost nonexistent.

If you have more rigid boundaries, you might:

keep others at a distance

seem detached, even with intimate partners

have few close relationships

avoid close relationships

If you have more loose or open boundaries, you might:

get too involved with others' problems

find it difficult to say "no" to others' requests

overshare personal information with others

seek to please others for fear of rejection

A person with healthy boundaries understands that making their expectations clear helps in two ways: it establishes what behavior you will accept from other people, and it establishes what behavior other people can expect from you. If you have healthy boundaries, you might:

share personal information appropriately (not too much or not too little)

understand your personal needs and wants and know how to communicate them

value your own opinions

accept when others tell you "no"

Many of us have a mix of boundaries depending on the situation. For example, you might have strict boundaries at work and more loose ones at home or with family and friends.

There might even be different boundaries based on a person's culture. For example, some cultures find that sharing personal information is not appropriate at any time, while in other cultures, sharing might be encouraged at all times.

Building healthy boundaries - whether you're at work, at home, or hanging out with friends - hinges on understanding the types of boundaries.

There are five different types:

Physical. This refers to your personal space, your privacy, and your body. You might be someone who is comfortable with public displays of affection (hugs, kisses, and hand-holding), or you might be someone who prefers not to be touched in public.

Sexual. These are your expectations concerning intimacy. Sexual comments and touches might be uncomfortable for you.

Intellectual. These boundaries concern your thoughts and beliefs. Intellectual boundaries are not respected when someone dismisses another person's ideas and opinions.

Emotional. This refers to a person's feelings. You might not feel comfortable sharing your feelings about everything with a friend or partner. Instead, you prefer to share gradually over time.

Financial. This one, as you guessed, is all about money. If you like to save money - not spend it on trendy fashions - you might not want to loan money to a friend who does.

When you get ready to establish your boundaries, be sure to take each one into account.

"In a nutshell, it's knowing how to separate your feelings or 'stuff' from someone else's," says U.K.-based psychologist Dr. Tara Quinn-Cirillo. "As human beings we have our own thoughts, memories, and lived experiences, and sometimes that can become very blurred with someone else's. Boundaries are healthy for helping you identify and keep that space."

Whereas security alarms signal when physical boundaries are crossed, you have to rely on your own internal alert systems to determine when your emotional and psychological boundaries are infringed upon.

For example, "If you come away from a meeting or telephone conversation with friends, family, or anyone, feeling depleted, anxious, [or] wound-up, there are probably boundaries being breached," explains Sally Baker, a senior, licensed, and accredited therapist in London, U.K.

Setting boundaries is beneficial for far more than just defining our identity. Having them in place "limits your exposure to stress and the [body's] production of adrenaline and cortisol [the stress hormone]," Baker says. "It protects your mental well-being."

Dr. Quinn-Cirillo agrees that well-being is a key factor, as a lack of boundaries can "lead to emotional and physical fatigue," especially if you have to deal with the exhausting behaviors of others.

And it doesn't end there. Boundaries promote a sense of autonomy, says Dr. Quinn-Cirillo, in "that you are in control as far as possible in what you want and don't want." They can also "keep you safe in relationships at work, home, and with partners, and that's really important."

Research also shows that blurred boundaries, particularly between work and home life, are unhealthier lifestyles and lower levels of happiness, along with a higher risk of family conflict. So, you'll want to get yours in check.

Not sure how to go about creating boundaries or effectively uphold existing ones? We've rounded up some of the best approaches to try.

Enjoy some self-reflection

To successfully introduce and set boundaries, it's key to understand why they're each important to you and how they will benefit your emotional well-being.

"Take some time to be a detective of your own psychology," suggests Baker. "So often stuff happens to people and they feel uncomfortable, but they're not sure why. The first step in having healthy boundaries in any situation is spending the time to explore what's happening to you."

Start small

If you don't have many boundaries in place already, the prospect of introducing more might seem overwhelming - so build them up slowly.

Doing so allows you to take things at a more comfortable pace, and it provides time to reflect on whether it's heading in the right direction or if you need to make some tweaks.

Set them early

"Sometimes it can be really hard to start putting boundaries in, especially in pre-existing relationships," says Dr. Quinn-Cirillo. "If you can put in boundaries straight away, it's a lot easier to work with."

By setting boundaries and expectations from the very beginning, everyone knows where they stand, and feelings of hurt, confusion, and frustration can be lessened.

Be consistent

Letting boundaries slide can lead to confusion and encourage new expectations and demands among those around you.

Try keeping things consistent and steady. This helps to reinforce your original thresholds and beliefs, and it ensures those lines remain clearly established.

Create a framework

Dr. Quinn-Cirillo notes that boundaries "vary depending on the type of relationship." However, if you find it helpful, there's no reason not to have a few basics in place that can be adapted accordingly.

Consider getting an hour or two of alone time each weekend. This boundary could apply whether you live with a partner, have a busy social schedule with friends, or are close with your family.

Feel free to add extras

In some aspects of our lives, there are boundaries already in place - such as in the workplace. But consider these the minimum. Colleagues will likely have some of their own in place, and it's okay for you to add some too.

Doing so may even enhance your performance. Austrian researchers found that employees who introduced personal workplace boundaries felt more empowered.

Be aware of social media

These platforms allow for more communication than ever, but they've also encouraged some considerable boundary blurring.

"There's some incredible oversharing happening," Baker states, and research shows that over half of us are concerned that family and friends will post personal information or photos that we don't want shared publicly.

If you deem a particular action as boundary-crossing in real life, your concerns are no less valid when it occurs digitally. "You don't have to expose yourself to social media that's distressing you," she adds.

Talk, talk, talk

Communication is critical in the world of boundaries, especially if someone consistently oversteps yours. While you might need to raise your concerns, these discussions need not be confrontational.

For example, if you have a friend who sends messages nonstop, Dr. Quinn-Cirillo suggests saying something along the lines of, "'I can see you really wanted to get hold of me, but the best thing to do is drop me a message, and I'll get back to you when I can.'" This gently highlights their behavior while simultaneously asserting your threshold.

Be your biggest champion

For boundaries to have a strong foundation, you need to show yourself a bit of love, notes Baker. "If you've got a narrative in your head that says you're worthless and undeserving, then you're going to find it difficult to put boundaries in place that protect you," she says. "A lot of it comes down to self-worth and self-value."

It doesn't take much to start encouraging this mindset either, adds Baker. The more you engage in activities "that release feel-good hormones, like singing, running, or whatever you want to do - things that feed your own heart - then that's going to help change your internal dialogue and make you feel more deserving."

Gain some perspective

Not having boundaries can be detrimental to our mental health, but going too far and over-thinking them can also impact our emotional well-being, reveals Dr. Quinn-Cirillo.

"Get a healthy level of thinking about boundaries," she says. "Have some but don't be dictated by them. Sometimes you've just got to go with your gut instinct. We can forget that we're actually quite good at navigating most things and are quite intuitive as human beings."

In addition to setting your own boundaries, it's important to appreciate those of others, too - even if they're different from your own. So how can you determine what they are?

Frustratingly, "there's no magic science," says Dr. Quinn-Cirillo. "If you're concerned or unsure, just ask." Fortunately, the conversation doesn't have to be awkward or confrontational. "Just general discussion helps," she continues. "Say something like, 'Can I message you later?' or 'When is it good to message?' They help start to put a framework in place."

It's also about using your common sense. If your partner hates using social media, there's a good chance they won't want those coupled-up selfies plastered across your Instagram or Facebook account. Or, if a friend says they don't want to see a particular movie, don't pester them until they cave in.

Dr. Quinn-Cirillo reveals that repeatedly violating boundaries "can breed resentment and contempt, and cause people to withdraw." So there's no harm in taking a moment to think before you act.

Boundaries are essential for various reasons and look different to everyone. You might be concerned that they will make you seem unfriendly or confrontational, but as this Inside Mental Health podcast from Psych Central reveals, it is possible to maintain them without upsetting those you care about.

Don't feel guilty about setting boundaries. They're essentially a form of self-care, and we actively look to incorporate other elements of this into our lives daily - from eating a balanced diet to exercising. This is no different!

It might take some time and consideration to decipher the boundaries most important to you and the best ways to implement them, but your mental well-being will appreciate the effort in the long run.

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10 ways to build and preserve better boundaries

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10 Ways to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries

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Understanding how to set personal limits is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships. Many people know what the word "boundaries" means, but they have no idea what they are. You might think of boundaries as something like a property line or "brick wall" used to keep people out.

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Photo by Ravi Roshan on Unsplash

As a mother of two children under two years old, devoting 17-20 hours a day to childcare, I often felt isolated and shut off from the rest of the world.

Throughout the day, I would lose my temper, releasing pent-up frustration. Trapped in a daily routine dictated by toddler and baby schedules, I felt suffocated. At best, I often breathed sighs of relief that there...

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7 books on finding greater connection to people and life

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As a mother of two children under two years old, devoting 17-20 hours a day to childcare, I often felt isolated and shut off from the rest of the world. Throughout the day, I would lose my temper, releasing pent-up frustration. Trapped in a daily routine dictated by toddler and baby schedules, I felt suffocated.

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Making Connections With Family and Others

Adolescence is a time of rapid development rivaled only by the first few years of life. Our children go through so many emotional and physical changes during this time that it is easy for them to feel unsure. Yet the enduring connections they have with friends and family form the blanket of security they need to become their best selves.

The most protective force in our children's lives is the connection they have with family - its proven by research and rings true to our real-life experiences. Family connections are critical, but young people also reap benefits from multiple layers of connections. That includes relationships with caring adults in their schools, after school programs, communities, and faith-based organizations. The more healthy connections, the better.

Human connection and the ability to get through things together allow us to recover from challenging times. Solid connections allow us to be vulnerable because we know we can turn to others who genuinely care. We would do the same for them if and when they needed us.

Connection also lets us more fully celebrate joyous times. For teens, it allows them to try new things and be exposed to opportunities that will develop their skills and build their confidence. When our adolescents are surrounded by many protective connections they will continue to seek other healthy relationships throughout their lives and will build strong families of their own. Connection is one of seven critical elements for building resilience within our children.

The 7 Cs of Resilience

In addition to connection, coping, confidence, competence, contribution, character, and control make up the the 7 Cs of Resilience. These essential elements for positive youth development give parents a way to frame how to raise successful tweens and teens able to thrive in both good and difficult times. They are described fully in Building Resilience in Children and Teens. When taken together, they strengthen families and empower teens. The connections between the Cs are powerful, each building upon each other. Just as our connection to others enriches us to be better than we could be alone.

The Roots of Connection Within Families

We loved our children from the moment they were born. And, our presence in their lives forms the root of their security. However, it is more than our physical presence that offers them security. It is how we see them.

Parents' knowledge of their teens' strengths is deeply protective. It is our love that offers them a solid sense of self.

Seeing Our Children as They Deserve To be Seen

Teens feel pressure to "find" themselves. They are working to answer the difficult question, " Who am I?" They are routinely judged. Schools, teams, and organized groups evaluate their performance. Peers determine whether or not they fit in. This can be stressful and can pressure teens into doing what it takes to fit in. But how families see them forms the basis of how they see themselves.

Parents' knowledge of their teens' strengths is deeply protective. It is our love that offers them a solid sense of self. What is love? Love is seeing someone as they really are. As they deserve to be seen. Not based on a temporary behavior, or by what they might produce. Loving is different than "liking." It's ok if we don't like everything our tweens and teens do. Loving is an active, thoughtful process. When others narrowly define our teens' worth we must remind them they are good to the core. Because family members also see the faults, it makes noticing the positive even more powerful.

Creating a Safe Place to Feel

Resilient people can feel fully, even when they feel uncomfortable. Experiencing emotions allows people to move forward. The basis of how your teens will manage emotions throughout their lives is established at home. It is there they learn to share instead of hold back feelings. It is there they learn that experiencing emotions is a sign of strength instead of weakness. It is there they learn that vulnerability creates an opportunity to draw strength from others.

Teens who grow up in caring homes learn to care. They learn whether they are listened to or whether adults brush aside their thoughts and feelings. Expressing something like, "I want to better understand how you're feeling. Please tell me so I can try to help," goes a long way. This kind of open, honest communication strengthens relationships and makes it more likely our teens will come to us for guidance. Sometimes our children's problems may seem unimportant or overblown and we may be tempted to say, "Get over it," or "It's not a big deal." But when we belittle or dismiss them in this way, we discourage them from coming back to us as a valued resource. Instead, we must hear them and be sensitive to their feelings. When we do, our teens learn to listen to their own emotions and benefit from recognizing and expressing their feelings.

We want our children to be able to connect to their emotions. Even unpleasant emotions inform us how to successfully navigate the world. Anxiety tells us when we should be cautious. Sadness reminds us that we care. Anger warns us that someone has violated our boundaries, and we may need to defend ourselves. This is the kind of self-awareness that builds confident, capable young people.

Connections Take Work

Many things can get in the way of our ideal connections. Not all parents live with their children. Our lives are busy. Sometimes what we are doing to provide for our children (like working!) means that we have less available time for them. Their schedules also may become busier during adolescence, leaving less time for us. Finally, in this increasingly tech-driven world, our teens may occasionally turn away from family as the primary source of connection.

The good news is that it is the quality, rather than the quantity of our connections that really matters. When young people feel really listened to, for even a short time, it holds tremendous value. Consider having a technology-free dinner together every week. Or schedule an event - game night, a weekly walk, or make your own pizza night - that clearly states this is "our" time. If you want them to be enthusiastic about the time together, let them choose the activity. If you do not live with your child, make technology your friend. Use video chats, email, text or social media to maintain, and even strengthen, meaningful relationships across a distance.

Connections Beyond our Families

In infancy and early childhood, parents are the center of their children's world. (And it feels good!) As our children grow it is critical they are part of an ever-widening circle. Connections to educational, civic, spiritual, athletic, recreational, and artistic groups can increase their sense of belonging to a larger world.

Peer connections prepare them for the world of work and ultimately to find life partners. School engagement is critical to academic success. Other caring adults they meet may offer them exposure to life's possibilities.

It is also important that we encourage our teens to forge connections that build strong communities. It is often said, the future will be built on well-worn paths between neighbors. It is our reaching out to those who might hold different views that ensures our continued success as a nation. The root of connection in our communities is not really that different than it is in strong families - it is about respectful listening, empathy, and seeing people in their best light, as they deserve to be seen.

Independence or Interdependence?

We want our adolescents to grow to become self-sufficient and independent. But independence must not mean isolation or disconnection. Our goal must be interdependence across generations.

When we honor our teens growing independence during adolescence, rather than trying to control them, they will choose to maintain warm, secure connections with us. The secret is in maintaining a secure connection, even as they temporarily push us away as they learn to stand on their own.

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Adolescence is a time of rapid development rivaled only by the first few years of life. Our children go through so many emotional and physical changes during this time that it is easy for them to feel unsure. Yet the enduring connections they have with friends and family form the blanket of security they need to become their best selves.

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The Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education

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Social connection improves physical health and mental and emotional well-being.

We all think we know how to take good are of ourselves: eat your veggies, work out and try to get enough sleep. But how many of us know that social connection is just as critical?

One landmark study showed that lack of social connection is a greater detriment to health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure.

On the other hand, strong social connection:

- leads to a 50% increased chance of longevity
- strengthens your immune system(research by Steve Cole shows that genes impacted by loneliness also code for immune function and inflammation)
- helps you recover from disease faster
- may even lengthen your life!

People who feel more connected to others have lower levels of anxiety and depression. Moreover, studies show they also have higher self-esteem, greater empathy for others, are more trusting and cooperative and, as a consequence, others are more open to trusting and cooperating with them. In other words, social connectedness generates a positive feedback loop of social, emotional and physical well-being.

Unfotunately, the opposite is also true for those who lack social connectedness. Low levels of social connection are associated with declines in physical and psychological health as well as a higher likelihood for antisocial behavior that leads to further isolation.
Feel lonely?
Research unfortunately shows that loneliness is on the rise. Despite its clear importance for health and survival, research shows that social connectedness is waning at an alarming rate in the US. A revealing sociological study showed that the modal number of close others (i.e., people with whom one feels comfortable sharing a personal problem) Americans claimed to have in 1985 was only three. In 2004 it dropped to zero, with over 25% of Americans saying that they have no one to confide in. This survey suggests that one in four people that we meet may have no one they call a close friend!

This decline in social connectedness may explain reported increases in loneliness, isolation, and alienation and may be why research is finding that loneliness represents one of the leading reasons people seek psychological counseling.

People low in social connection are more vulnerable to anxiety, depression, antisocial behavior, and even suicidal behaviors which tend to further increase their isolation. Most poignantly, a landmark survey showed that lack of social connectedness predicts vulnerability to disease and death beyond traditional risk factors such as smoking, blood pressure, and physical activity! Eat your greens and exercise, yes, but don't forget to connect.
Feel like you may be low on social connection?
Fear not! The good news is that social connection has more to do with your subjective feeling of connection than your number of friends. You could have 1,000 friends and still feel low in connection (thus the expression loneliness in a crowd) but you could also have no close friends or relatives but still feel very connected from within.
Learn more in my infographic below!
Watch my TEDx talk to get all the details on the science.
Your turn. What are your favorite ways of increasing your feelings of connectedness?

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Connectedness & Health: The Science of Social Connection - The Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education

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Social connection improves physical health and mental and emotional well-being. We all think we know how to take good are of ourselves: eat your veggies, work out and try to get enough sleep. But how many of us know that social connection is just as critical?

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Are you interested in performing community service? Do you want examples of service projects you can do? Community service is a great way to help others and improve your community, and it can also help you gain skills and experience to include on your resume and college applications.

Read on for dozens of community service ideas to help you get started volunteering.

What Is Community Service?

Community service is work done by a person or group of people that benefits others. It is often done near the area where you live, so your own community reaps the benefits of your work. You do not get paid to perform community service, but volunteer your time.

Community service can help many different groups of people: children, senior citizens, people with disabilities, even animals and the environment. Community service is often organized through a local group, such as a place of worship, school, or non-profit organization, but you can also start your own community service projects.

Many people participate in community service because they enjoy helping others and improving their community. Some students are required to do community service in order to graduate high school or to receive certain honors. Some adults are also ordered by a judge to complete a certain number of community service hours.

Why Should You Participate in Community Service?

There are numerous benefits to participating in community service, both for yourself and others. Below are some of the most important benefits of volunteering:

Gives you a way to help others

Helps improve your community

Can help strengthen your resume and college applications

Can be a way to meet new friends

Often results in personal growth

Gives you a way to gain work experience and learn more about certain jobs

How Should You Use This List?

This list of over one hundred community service examples is organized by category, so if you're particularly interested in working with, say, children or animals, you can easily find community service activities more related to your interests.

In order to use this list most effectively, read through it and make note of any community service ideas that match your interests and that you may want to participate in. Some considerations to keep in mind are:

Who would you like to help?

Is there a specific group of people or cause you are passionate about? Look for projects that relate to your passion and interests. You may also just want to perform particular community service activities that allow you to do hobbies you enjoy, like baking or acting, and that's fine too.

Do you want a community service activity that is reoccurring or a one-time event?

Perhaps you don't have enough time to regularly devote to community service. In that case, it may be better to look for opportunities that only occur once or sporadically, such as planning special events or helping build a house.

What kind of impact do you want to have?

Some people prefer to participate in community service activities that have a quantifiable impact, for example, activities where you know the specific number of kids you tutored, dollars you raised, or cans of food you collected. This is in contrast to activities that don't have such clear numbers, such as creating a garden or serving as a volunteer lifeguard. Some people prefer quantifiable activities because they feel they look stronger on college applications, or because they simply enjoy knowing their exact impact on the community.

What skills would you like to gain?

Many community service activities can help you gain skills. These skills can range from teaching to medicine to construction and more. If there is a particular skill you'd like to learn for future classes, jobs, or just out of personal interest, you may want to see if there is a community service activity that helps you learn that skill.

Want to build the best possible college application, including extracurriculars?
We can help. PrepScholar Admissions is the world's best admissions consulting service. We combine world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies. We've overseen thousands of students get into their top choice schools, from state colleges to the Ivy League.

We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit. We want to get you admitted to your dream schools.

Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in.

List of Community Service Examples

Below I've listed over 100 community service ideas to get you started with brainstorming.

General Ideas

Helping Children and Schools

Helping Senior Citizens

Want to build the best possible college application, including extracurriculars?
We can help. PrepScholar Admissions is the world's best admissions consulting service. We combine world-class admissions counselors with our data-driven, proprietary admissions strategies. We've overseen thousands of students get into their top choice schools, from state colleges to the Ivy League.

We know what kinds of students colleges want to admit. We want to get you admitted to your dream schools.

Learn more about PrepScholar Admissions to maximize your chance of getting in.

Helping Animals and the Environment

Helping the Hungry and/or Homeless

Reducing Crime and Promoting Safety

Promoting Community Enhancement

Next Steps

Now that you know what your options are for community service, you can take the following steps to start getting involved:

#1: Look over your interests: Which activities seem most appealing to you? Were they mostly in one particular category, like children or the environment? If so, that's a good starting place for choosing specific organizations to contact.

#2: Figure out how much time you can devote to community service: Are you available for two hours every week? Are you not free on a regular basis but can volunteer for an entire weekend now and then?

Think about transportation as well and how you'll be able to get to different locations. Knowing this information will help you choose which community service projects to pursue, and it's helpful information for volunteer coordinators to know.

#3: Do some research to see what projects you can do in your community: Check at your school, place of worship, or town hall for more information on volunteering. You can also contact the place where you'd like to perform your community service, such as a particular animal shelter or nursing home, and ask if they take volunteers.

#4: Start volunteering! This list ranges from small projects that you can complete on your own in a few hours, to much larger projects that will take more time and people. If you find a project you can start on your own, do it!

If you want to do a project where you'll need more resources or people, check around your community to see if a similar program already exists that you can join. If not, don't be afraid to start your own! Many organizations welcome new volunteers and community service projects.

Additional Information

Considering doing volunteer work in another country? Read our guide on volunteer abroad programs and learn whether or not you should participate in one.

Are you in college or will be starting soon? Extracurriculars are one of the best parts of college! Check out our guide to learn which extracurricular activities you should consider in college.

Did you know that you can use your community service work to help pay for college? Check out our step-by-step guide on how to win community service scholarships.

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If you're a freshman, sophomore, or junior worried about college admissions, our world-class admissions counselors can help. We know exactly what kinds of students colleges want to admit and can make sure your profile shines.

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129 Great Examples of Community Service Projects

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Are you interested in performing community service? Do you want examples of service projects you can do? Community service is a great way to help others and improve your community, and it can also help you gain skills and experience to include on your resume and college applications.

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About Nastassia Walsh

Director of Programs and Operations

Nastassia Walsh is Director of Programs and Operations for the Counties Futures Lab at the National Association of Counties where she oversees the day-to-day management of NACo's programs and networks that help counties across the country improve community outcomes on key local issues including criminal justice, health, behavioral health, econom

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Ten Ways to Engage People Affected by Mental Illness in Your Community

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The National Alliance on Mental Illness has developed a new tool to ensure the voices of people with mental illnesses and their families are heard as a part of efforts to reduce the prevalence of mental illnesses in jails. | Justice & Public Safety, Health

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Your local community is an excellent pathway toward connection. Kids who get involved with their community build important relationships that can last a lifetime. They also learn the importance of helping others and how people in communities support each other daily. When you get involved in your community as a family, you can all learn and grow together while creating meaningful neighborhood connections.

7 Ways to Get Your Family Involved in Your Local Community

The following activities are perfect ways to get the whole family invested in your community.

1. Volunteer

Volunteering allows your family to become active members of your community by getting hands-on experience helping others. You'll learn more about your community, what its members need, and how you can make it better. Use sites like VolunteerMatch.org to find volunteering opportunities in your area, from spending time at animal shelters to assisting with beginner swimming lessons.

2. Help the Neighbors

Elderly neighbors, neighbors with special needs, and other parents could all use an extra hand on occasion. When you and your family have spare time, see if you can offer help to your neighbors. Here are some ideas:

3. Join a Community Recreation Center

Your community recreation center is the perfect place to take advantage of family-friendly activities and meet people in your neighborhood. Many recreation centers offer and water safety swimming lessons for kids and adults, sports activities, arts and crafts, clubs, fitness programs and facilities, and more. You can gain lots of social interaction through the programs your family participates in.

4. Start a Community Garden

A community garden gives everyone in your area a place to grow and harvest vegetables, fruits, herbs, and beautiful flowers. Your garden could also help neighbors through donations to food pantries or families in need.

5. Make it Virtual

In today's busy world, it's not always easy for families to find extra time to spare. Many communities are finding alternative ways for people to get involved to fit more flexibly into their schedules. You might see if you can meet with a community organization over Zoom to discuss an event's planning or host a virtual read-aloud for kids through your library system. There are also virtual donation opportunities through Facebook, GoFundMe, and other websites, allowing you to support your favorite community businesses, charities, causes, and more.

6. Thank Community Helpers

Community helpers - teachers, firefighters, police officers, doctors, delivery service workers, etc. - help us daily. Get the kids involved in thanking them for everything they do so selflessly. Here are a few ways you might show your appreciation:

Leave thank-you cards for delivery persons on your porch for them to find when they drop off a package

Send a box of school supplies or books to a teacher

Bring water and snacks to your local firehouse

Write thank-you letters to police officers

7. Send Care Packages

People in nursing homes may feel isolated from their loved ones, but your family can remind them how loved they are with simple care packages. Send care packages to facilities with knitting supplies, puzzle books, paper and pens, magazines and books, blankets, toiletries, board games, and other supplies for residents.

Get Involved with Your Community

There's no better way to support your community than by getting involved in it, especially as a family. Your involvement can give your little ones a strong sense of community as they grow, making them feel more compelled to continue taking action. Check with churches, community centers, food pantries, and other local resources to find volunteer and involvement opportunities.

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7 Ways To Get Your Family Involved In Your Local Community

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Your local community is an excellent pathway toward connection. Kids who get involved with their community build important relationships that can last a lifetime. They also learn the importance of helping others and how people in communities support each other daily.

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The Importance of Community Service | Jordan Chantaca | TEDxHowellHighSchool

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How to Get Involved in Your Local Community

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A Sense of Identity

Experiencing belonging -knowing where and with whom you belong -is integral to human existence. Children belong first to a family, a cultural group, a neighborhood and a wider community. Belonging acknowledges children's interdependence with others and the basis of relationships in defining identities. In early childhood, and throughout life, relationships are crucial to a sense of belonging. Belonging is central to being and becoming in that it shapes who children are and who they can become.

A child learns and develops a sense of identity through their relationships and experiences at home, family interactions and their environment. As they play, learn and try new things, they will develop an understanding of their own identity.

It is important for children to develop an understanding of themselves as significant and respected in order to develop pride and strength in their own personal and cultural identity, as well as respect for others.

A Sense of Belonging

Fostering a sense of belonging for children can create an environment where learning can thrive. When learning feels open and collaborative, children feel safe to share ideas. They are confident in applying their knowledge or skills, and are supported when they take a risk or even experience failure. When children feel like someone knows them and believes in them, there is a greater motivation to succeed.

All children should feel that their world is a safe place where people care about them and their needs, they can develop positive relationships and where they will be able to seek help when needed. When these needs are met, children can develop a sense of belonging.

A sense of belonging has been found to help protect children against mental health problems and improve their learning. Children who feel that they belong are happier, more relaxed, and have fewer behavioral problems than others. They are also more motivated and more successful learners.

Building Relationships

Children build and experience attachments with people as soon as they are born. Positive relationships that are warm, caring and consistent help children feel safe and secure. When children experience these relationships, they learn to use these skills in their own relationships with others. Developing and maintaining strong attachments with familiar adults and friends can have a positive effect on their mental health and wellbeing.

In childcare settings, children are part of a core of relationships between children, families and staff. Together everyone plays an important role in developing positive relationships. It is crucial that infants and young children are given the opportunity to build these connections in order to promote positive relationships as they grow.

Teachers Play a Role

In order to build a sense of belonging, young children need to learn the process of developing their skills to work with others. They must learn to play cooperatively, help others, have a sense of empathy, and be a part of a team. These skills are not automatic but are developed over time through healthy routines and consistent expectations that are set in the classroom.

Routines can help young children understand what to do so that they can focus on how to do things with others. Routines such as classroom jobs and keeping a consistent schedule can help young children feel and be a more confident participant of your classroom.

Parents Play a Role

When early childhood professionals and parents work together, it helps to create a positive sense of community for the child. Research has shown that a greater family involvement can have a positive impact in areas such as children's early learning skills and behavior.

Creating good communication systems for busy parents is crucial to maintaining good levels of parent/early childhood staff partnerships. The Classroom Manager with Child Daily Journal can be useful tool. Staff can send messages and attach photos of children to their parents to share the events of the day. Sharing this information helps ensure that children's needs are met effectively.

Developing a sense of belonging from a young age allows children to feel confident in exploring new ideas, engaging in learning and being self-expressive. Families and early childhood professionals can set children up to be strong leaders in the future.

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Creating a Sense of Belonging for Children - ChildWatch

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Creating a sense of belonging from a young age allows children to feel confident in exploring new ideas, engaging in learning and being self-expressive.

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Key points

A sense of belonging to a greater community improves one's motivation, health, and happiness.

Feeling a sense of belonging is important in order to see value in life and cope with intensely painful emotions.

One way to increase one's sense of belonging is to look for similarities to others rather than focus on differences.

Having a sense of belonging is a common experience. Belonging means acceptance as a member or part. Such a simple word for a huge concept. A sense of belonging is a human need, just like the need for food and shelter. Feeling that you belong is most important in seeing value in life and in coping with intensely painful emotions.

Some find belonging in a church, some with friends, some with family, and some on Twitter or other social media. Some see themselves as connected only to one or two people. Others believe and feel a connection to all people the world over, to humanity. Some struggle to find a sense of belonging and their loneliness is physically painful for them.

Some seek to belong by excluding others. That reflects the idea that there must be those who don't belong in order for there to be those who do. Yet a single instance of being excluded can undermine self-control and well-being and often creates pain and conflict.

A sense of belonging to a greater community improves your motivation, health, and happiness. When you see your connection to others, you know that all people struggle and have difficult times. You are not alone. There is comfort in that knowledge.

Building a Sense of Belonging

Building a sense of belonging requires active effort and practice. One way to work on increasing your sense of belonging is to look for ways you are similar to others instead of focusing on ways you are different. Someone is much older than you? Maybe they have wonderful stories to tell and you love to listen to their experiences. Maybe you value making a difference and can contribute to their lives with your youthful strength. Does someone have a different belief system than you? Maybe you both enjoy a good debate or you both value faith in God. Sharing your differences and still accepting the person creates peace. Acceptance does not mean agreement.

Another way to build your own sense of belonging is to work on the acceptance of others. To accept others and views that are not the same as yours may require that you open your thoughts to the idea that there is value in everyone's thinking. You can find truth in even the most difficult-to-understand even though you may not agree. One of the best ways to communicate acceptance is through validation. Validation builds a sense of belonging and strengthens relationships. Validation is the language of acceptance. Validation is the acknowledgment that someone's internal experience is understandable and helps you stay on the same side, with a sense of belonging, even when you disagree.

Try saying yes to opportunities to be with others and then throw yourself into whatever the activity is. Let go of your judgments. Judgments build walls. Focus on people. At a dinner and annoyed because you don't like the food? Food is not the goal. Connecting with others is far more important than the food or the noise in the restaurant. Gained weight and don't want others to see? Stop isolating until you believe you are worthy. No one is perfect. Others have their struggles with their health too.

Watch your words and your way of thinking. Some words create separateness and others promote togetherness. Other people don't need "fixing." They have strengths and offer their own unique contributions. Think community and acceptance.

If you are emotionally sensitive, remember that in general people suffer the same emotional pain you suffer, just not as intensely (most of the time) or as quickly. Also, there are many other emotionally sensitive people who struggle as you do. Being emotionally sensitive does not mean you don't belong. Work on not blaming yourself or others.

Attributional Retraining

Dr. Gregory Walton developed a belonging intervention he called attributional retraining. Through this intervention, people shift from blaming themselves for painful experiences, such as "I'm flawed," or "It's just me," to seeing that they weren't alone and other people had experienced the same situations.

The technique is brief. It involves you seeing yourself as an expert on what you have experienced and writing about that experience to help someone else. Here is a video on how the technique works for college students. The key is to write suggestions for other people on how to cope with something you have experienced.

If you are not a college student, the issues in the video may not seem relevant. But consider how you would use the technique. For example, what two points would you offer to others about coping with intense emotions or rejection sensitivity? Your experiences can make a difference for others who also have intense emotions.

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A sense of belonging to a greater community improves one's motivation, health, and happiness. Feeling a sense of belonging is important in order to see value in life and cope with intensely painful emotions. One way to increase one's sense of belonging is to look for similarities to others rather than focus on differences.

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Go solo or team up with others to make sure everyone in your community feels like they belong.

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People have a natural need to connect and belong. Belonging makes a person feel good and accepted. A sense of belonging, particularly in schools, is important for young people. However, many students do not feel that they belong at their schools. This feeling may only be temporary and can change at…

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8 Steps to Create a Sense of Belonging in Life

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Create a sense of belonging in life. I showed up to the restaurant a bit nervous. I had been invited to the birthday dinner on a large group message. While I didn't feel obligated to come, I decided it would be best to attend.

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This list is a great way to start your Westmont Reads experience. WPL librarians have selected titles for all ages by authors from a wide range of communities, backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. Pick one out today and start your Westmont Reads journey into One Community, Many Voices.

"Twelve Native Americans came to the Big Oakland Powwow for different reasons. Jacquie Red Feather is newly sober and trying to make it back to the family she left behind in shame. Dene Oxendene is pulling his life together after his uncle's death and has come to work the powwow and to honor his uncle's memory. Edwin Frank has come to find his true father. Bobby Big Medicine has come to drum the Grand Entry. Opal Viola Victoria Bear Shield has come to watch her nephew Orvil Red Feather. Orvil has taught himself Indian dance through YouTube videos, and he has come to the powwow to dance in public for the very first time. Tony Loneman is a young Native American boy whose future seems destined to be as bleak as his past, and he has come to the Powwow with darker intentions - intentions that will destroy the lives of everyone in his path."

Available formats: Book, Audiobook, eBook, eAudiobook

"Clemantine Wamariya was six years old when her mother and father began to speak in whispers, when neighbors began to disappear, and when she heard the loud, ugly sounds her brother said were thunder. It was 1994, and in 100 days more than 800,000 people would be murdered in Rwanda and millions more displaced. Clemantine and her fifteen-year-old sister, Claire, ran and spent the next six years wandering through seven African countries searching for safety. They did not know whether their parents were alive. At age twelve, Clemantine and Claire were granted asylum in the United States. Raw, urgent, yet disarmingly beautiful, this book captures the true costs and aftershocks of war: what is forever lost, what can be repaired, the fragility and importance of memory. A riveting story of dislocation, survival."

Available formats: Book, Audiobook, eBook

"A landmark anthology celebrating twenty-one native poets first published in the twenty-first century"

Available Formats: Book

"Native is about identity, soul-searching, and the never-ending journey of finding ourselves and finding God. As both a citizen of the Potawatomi Nation and a Christian, Kaitlin Curtice offers a unique perspective on these topics. In this book, she shows how reconnecting with her Potawatomi identity both informs and challenges her faith. Curtice draws on her personal journey, poetry, imagery, and stories of the Potawatomi people to address themes at the forefront of today's discussions of faith and culture in a positive and constructive way. She encourages us to embrace our own origins and to share and listen to each other's stories so we can build a more inclusive and diverse future. Each of our stories matters for the church to be truly whole. As Curtice shares what it means to experience her faith through the lens of her Indigenous heritage, she reveals that a vibrant spirituality has its origins in identity, belonging, and a sense of place."

Available Formats: Book

"A brutally moving work of art-widely hailed as the greatest graphic novel ever written-Maus recounts the chilling experiences of the author's father during the Holocaust, with Jews drawn as wide-eyed mice and Nazis as menacing cats."

Available Formats: Book (Graphic Novel)

"At the intersection of "Americanah" and "The Help" comes a riveting debut novel about two marriages - one immigrant and working class, the other from the top 1% - both chasing their version of the American Dream. In the fall of 2007, Jende Jonga, a Cameroonian immigrant living in Harlem, lands a job as a chauffeur for Clark Edwards, a senior executive at Lehman Brothers. Their situation only improves when Jende's son Neni is hired as household help. But in the course of their work, Jende and Neni begin to witness infidelities, skirmishes, and family secrets. Then, with the 2008 collapse of Lehman Brothers, a tragedy changes all four lives forever, and the Jongas must decide whether to continue fighting to stay in a recession-ravaged America or give up and return home to Cameroon."

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook, eBook

"When his mother, a tribal enrollment specialist living on a reservation in North Dakota, slips into an abyss of depression after being brutally attacked, 14-year-old Joe Coutz sets out with his three friends to find the person that destroyed his family."

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook, eBook, eAudiobook

"Reeling from newly uncovered family secrets and anger at her mother and aunt for keeping them from her, Joy runs away to Shanghai in early 1957 to find her birth father-the artist Z.G. Li, with whom both May and Pearl were once in love. Dazzled by him, and blinded by idealism and defiance, Joy throws herself into the New Society of Red China, heedless of the dangers in the communist regime. Devastated by Joy's flight and terrified for her safety, Pearl is determined to save her daughter, no matter the personal cost. From the crowded city to remote villages, Pearl confronts old demons and almost insurmountable challenges as she follows Joy, hoping for reconciliation. Yet even as Joy's and Pearls' separate journeys converge, one of the most tragic episodes in China's history threatens their very lives."

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook, eBook, eAudiobook

"In the mid 1930's two well-educated sisters from Shanghai go to Los Angeles to become brides of the "Gold Mountain men" when their family is on the verge of bankruptcy. When the get there they are detained, interrogated, and humiliated for months. When one of the sisters becomes pregnant they vow that no one will ever know."

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook, eBook, eAudiobook

"Minli, an adventurous girl from a poor village, buys a magical goldfish, and then joins a dragon who cannot fly on a quest to find the Old Man of the Moon in hopes of bringing life to Fruitless Mountain and freshness to Jade River."

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook, eBook, eAudiobook

"Detective Peter Decker of the LAPD is stunned when he gets the report. Someone has shattered the sanctuary of a remote yeshiva community in the California hills with an unimaginable crime. One of the women was brutally raped as she returned from the mikvah, the bathhouse where the cleansing ritual is performed.

The crime was called in by Rina Lazarus, and Decker is relieved to discover that she is a calm and intelligent witness. She is also the only one in the sheltered community willing to speak of this unspeakable violation. As Rina tries to steer Decker through the maze of religious laws, the two grow closer. But before they get to the bottom of this horrendous crime, revelations come to light that are so shocking, they threaten to come between the hard-nosed cop and the deeply religious woman with whom he has become irrevocably linked."

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook, eBook, eAudiobook

"For a long time, when people asked Dr. Meera Shah what she did, she would tell them she was a doctor and leave it at that. But over the last few years, Shah decided it was time to be direct. I'm an abortion provider, she will now say. And an interesting thing started to happen each time she met someone new. One by one, people would confide at barbecues, at jury duty, in the middle of the greeting card aisle at Target that in fact they'd had an abortion themselves. And the refrain was often the same: You're the only one I've told. This book collects those stories as they've been told to Shah to humanize abortion and to combat myths that persist in the discourse that surrounds it. An intentionally wide range of ages, races, socioeconomic factors, and experiences shows that abortion always occurs in a unique context."

Available Formats: Book

"Won't Lose This Dream is the inspiring story of a public university that has blazed an extraordinary trail for lower-income and first-generation students in downtown Atlanta, the birthplace of the civil rights movement."

Available Formats: Book

"Sexuality researcher Jane Fleishman shares the stories of nine fearless elders in the LGBTQ community who came of age around the time of Stonewall. In candid interviews, they lay bare their struggles, their strengths, their activism, and their sexual liberation in the context of the political movements of the 1960s and 1970s and today"

Available Formats: Book

"Describes how the author was accidentally separated from his family and home in India as a child, how he survived as an orphan in Kolkata, his adoption by an Australian family, and his search for his biological family as an adult."

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook, eBook, eAudiobook

"This is how wars are fought now: by children, hopped-up on drugs and wielding AK-47s. Children have become soldiers of choice. In the more than fifty conflicts going on worldwide, it is estimated that there are some 300,000 child soldiers. Ishmael Beah used to be one of them.

What is war like through the eyes of a child soldier? How does one become a killer? How does one stop? Child soldiers have been profiled by journalists, and novelists have struggled to imagine their lives. But until now, there has not been a first-person account from someone who came through this hell and survived."

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook

"A daughter returns home to the Navajo reservation to retrace her mother's life in a memoir that is both a narrative and an archive of one family's troubled history"

Available Formats: Book

"Young Nadia Owusu followed her father, a United Nations official, from Europe to Africa and back again. Just as she and her family settled into a new home, her father would tell them it was time to say their goodbyes. The instability wrought by Nadia's nomadic childhood was deepened by family secrets and fractures, both lived and inherited. Her Armenian American mother, who abandoned Nadia when she was two, would periodically reappear, only to vanish again. Her father, a Ghanaian, the great hero of her life, died when she was thirteen. After his passing, Nadia's stepmother weighed her down with a revelation that was either a bombshell secret or a lie, rife with shaming innuendo."

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook

"In the spirit of a young Barack Obama's Dreams from My Father, comes a candid and compelling memoir about race and poverty in America. In many ways, there was no reason Julian Castro would have been expected to be a success. Born to unmarried parents in a poverty-stricken neighborhood of a struggling city, his prospects of escaping his circumstance seemed bleak. But he and his twin brother Joaquin had something going for them: their mother. A former political activist, she provided the launch pad for what would become an astonishing ascent. Julian and Joaquin would go on to attend Stanford and Harvard before entering politics at the ripe age of 26. Soon after, Joaquin become a state representative and Julian was elected mayor of San Antonio, a city he helped revitalize and transform into one of the country's leading economies. His success in Texas propelled him onto the national stage, where he was the keynote speaker at the 2012 DNC-the same spot President Obama held three conventions prior-and then to Washington D.C. where he served as the Obama Administration's Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. After being shortlisted as a potential running mate for Hillary Clinton, he is now seen by many as a future presidential candidate. Julian Castro's story not only affirms the American dream, but also resonates with millions, who in an age of political cynicism and hardening hearts are searching for a new hero. No matter one's politics, this book is the transcendent story of a resilient family and the unlikely journey of an emerging national icon."

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook

"Jaquira Díaz writes an unflinching account of growing up as a queer biracial girl searching for home as her family splits apart and her mother struggles with mental illness and addiction. From her own struggles with depression and drug abuse to her experiences of violence to Puerto Rico's history of colonialism, every page vibrates with music and lyricism"

Available Formats: Book, Audiobook, eBook, eAudiobook

""Valentin 'Val' Chmerkovskiy has captivated viewers with his striking performances on Dancing with the Stars since his first step, season after season. His raw talent, dashing looks, and genuine kindness have made him an instant, beloved star. Now, for the first time ever, viewers will have an all-access pass to Val's life-and in [this book], Val bares his soul, illuminating the thoughtful person he is both on and off the stage. In this revealing memoir, Val opens up about his life and career so far-where he's come from and where he hopes to go. He shows the reader some of the most notable moments from his childhood in Odessa, Ukraine, and his tight-knit family's immigration to the United States-including his struggles learning English as a stranger desperate to fit into a different culture, how he worked to become a premiere ballroom dancer, and, of course, the collaborations and competitions with his brother and fellow DWTS sensation, Maksim 'Maks' Chmerkovskiy. After years of practice and discipline, Val, along with his older brother Maks, have reached the pinnacle of success, but it took a great deal of hard work and gratitude to get there. Sharing at times intimate and at times entertaining moments with early dance partners all the way up through celebrity dance partners such as Laurie Hernandez, Zendaya, Kelly Monaco, and Rumer Willis on Dancing with the Stars, Val expresses his enduring gratitude for the opportunities America has afforded him and his family, and for everything this country represents-offering hope not only to fans, but everyone with at dream."

Available Formats: Book, eBook, eAudiobook

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One Community, Many Voices: A Reading List for Adults

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This list is a great way to start your Westmont Reads experience. WPL librarians have selected titles for all ages by authors from a wide range of communities, backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. Pick one out today and start your Westmont Reads journey into One Community, Many Voices.

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Foster your child's faith in humanity by reading them picture books about communities coming together in times of crisis, as well as in times of normalcy. These children's books about the power of community, being helpful and looking out for one's fellow humans and creatures are a great resource to teach your children about the benefits of the social contract.

When communities come together to solve a problem or help one another, it is often a result of one person's act of kindness starting a chain of positive events. Your kids will see that reality reflected in these stories. But they will also see how there is strength in numbers.

Whether you use these books as a tool for reassurance in a time of crisis, or as encouragement to inspire your child to take actions big or small, be assured they are also wonderfully entertaining stories!

Note: this post contains affiliate links that may earn commission.

Picture Books about Communities

We are Together

by Britta Teckentrup

The clever die cut pages show an ever increasing group of ethnically diverse ( but not differently-abled) children as the book moves forward. Rhyming text offers the message that together the children are a team. As a team they can do things like splash in puddles, encourage each other to take untraveled paths, or navigate complex emotions like seeing their way through confusing times. Wonderful illustrations place the children in various natural settings, from woodlands to urban parks, and snowy tundras.

Maybe Something Beautiful

by F. Isabel Campoy and Theresa Howell

Mira wants to brighten up her grey neighborhood. She starts out small by handing out her colorful illustrations to neighbors. Inspired by Mira, the community gets together to transform their environment with colorful murals. This kind of community improvement activity is just the sort of thing that kids can participate in! I love the vibrant illustrations and the message that art makes life better.

The Whispering Town

by Jennifer Elvgren

Based on a true story, this testament to community is the inspiring tale of how one town Nazi-occupied Denmark saved the lives of a Jewish mother and son. Anett's family had been hiding the pair in their cellar, but in order to get them through the town to a boat headed to Sweden, the whole town must take a risk and come together.

Come with Me

by Holly M. McGhee

A young girl is feeling anxious about the anger, hatred and tension she sees in the news. As a way to reassure his daughter about the goodness still in the world, he takes her for a walk, saying, "Come with me." On their journey, they see kindness. Later on, the girl takes the dog for a walk and invites a neighbor boy to come along with her. A great book to help you talk to your kids about how to manage their anxiety in a complex world.

Counting on Community

by Innosanto Nagara

Counting books are always a hit with the preschool set and this book encourages children to think about how they can be an active participant in their community and a force for good, from working in the community garden, beautifying the sidewalks with chalk drawings to wearing safety gear when riding bicycles and promoting diversity. Preschoolers will enjoy hunting for the hidden duck throughout the book.

One Plastic Bag: Isatou Ceesay and the Recycling Women of the Gambia

by Miranda Paul

When Isatou noticed that plastic bags do not degrade like traditional baskets when discarded she comes up with a plan to return beauty to her home and help the economic situation of her neighbors. Together, the women crochet plastic strips into small purses to sell at the market. This book is a good lesson on how communities can take action on their own, as well as pursuing more widespread measures through legislation.

Green City: How One Community Survived a Tornado and Rebuilt for a Sustainable Future

by Allan Drummond

Author Allan Drummond has three books in his collection of stories about people who focus on building sustainable communities. In this selection, after a tornado destroys Greensburg, Kansas in 2007, the citizens rebuild with sustainability in mind. Be sure to read the companion books, Energy Island, about a community in Denmark that uses wind power, and Pedal Power about how Amsterdam came to be the bicycle capital of the world. All three are wonderfully positive tributes to the power of communities to enact change.

The Subway Sparrow

by Leyla Torres

When a sparrow is trapped on a subway train, a group of diverse individuals work together to capture and release the frightened bird. Even though the subway riders don't all speak the same language, their desire to cooperate for the greater good overcomes their differences.

Thank You, Omu!

by Oge Mora

I adore the wonderful cut-paper collage illustrations in this timeless tale about the community value of sharing. Omu is making stew and its delicious smell enchants the neighborhood. One by one, a diverse group of visitors, drawn in by the scent of Omu's stew, knock on her door and ask for a bowl. Omu generously hands out portions but eventually realizes that she no longer has any left for herself. Not to worry! Her neighbors don't forget her kindness and they all join together to return the favor.

Mr Gumpy's Outing

by John Burningham

Mr Gumpy goes out for a relaxing afternoon in his wooden boat. Soon a few children ask to join him. He welcomes them aboard with calmness. Next a succession of animals one by one join the group, and even though the boat is getting quite full, no one is refused. A joyful book about inclusion and sharing a boat come what may, and sharing a pot of tea even when things go topsy turvy.

The Big Umbrella

by Amy June Bates and Juniper Bates

This book sparkles with its celebration of the joy that comes when we include others. It wass written by a mother and her 11 year old daughter while walking to school in the rain. The story begins with a narrator introducing a big umbrella by the door; it's a really big umbrella, big enough for everyone. I love the inclusion of a diverse cast of characters, making this a wonderful book with a very positive, uplifting message.

Ada's Violin: The Story of the Recycled Orchestra of Paraguay

by Susan Hood

This is such an inspiring story. Young Ada Ríos lives in Paraguay in a town that was built atop a landfill. Ada loves music and dreams of playing the violin, but her family is too poor to afford it. When a new teacher comes to the community, he crafts instruments out of trash and the children form an orchestra. This is a great book which covers so many issues: a community coming together musicianship, education, environmental justice and more.
More books about communities on the following lists:

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Children's Books about Communities Coming Together

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Foster your child's faith in humanity by reading them picture books about communities coming together in times of crisis, as well as in times of normalcy. These children's books about the power of community, being helpful and looking out for one's fellow humans and creatures are a great resource to teach your children about the benefits of the social contract.

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Heather Elmatti: Deeper Learning Needs Community

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In this talk recorded at TEDxEustis in January 2018, Professor Heather Elmatti discusses the role of "community" in education and the impact that creating this sense of community in a group of learners can deepen their education experience. Heather has worked over 20 years in the area of experiential education.

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I once told my therapist that I live my life trying not to offend anyone. She was pretty taken aback and said that sounded like a very difficult and exhausting way to live life. And she's right - it is.

Whenever I'm talking to someone, my brain is always three steps ahead, trying to make sure I won't accidentally say something that could be considered a microaggression, or politically incorrect or just genuinely hurtful. I'm hyperaware of the conversations I have and whether or not I'm "allowed" to have them, or if there are words I'm not "allowed" to use. It's exhausting, but it's worth it.

The idea for writing this blog post came to me while I was coding an email. Reading the first paragraphs, I'm sure you have some questions about where this is going, so let's take a stroll down analogy lane.

I code my emails in a coding program and view the HTML files in Google Chrome. I take a few hours, build the code out, add whatever CSS I need, other coding jargon that you don't care about, blah blah blah. When it's done, I take the code and add it to an Email Service Provider (or ESP) and send myself a test. Most of the time, the email will look great in the ESP, great in my inbox, great on mobile. I run it through our testing platform, and everything looks great. Until I get to the Outlook section - and everything is horribly broken. That's when I remember that just because I can code something to function for one platform, doesn't mean it'll work on all platforms.

And that's what led me here. Just because something is fine for me, doesn't mean it will be okay for everyone, or even anyone, else. And that's a message I want to share.

As marketers, we're generally aware that different people have different needs, likes, wants. It's why we test our code, why we segment our audiences, why we do surveys and qualitative research and user testing and and and. Nebo has a whole department dedicated to finding out how to best serve the most people. We spend days, weeks, even months, figuring out how to be the best we can be. We have copious tools we can use to find our blind spots, help us figure out our weak points and let us learn and fix them.

But real life doesn't have testing tools. You can't just pause a conversation and ask, "Which of these responses is the least offensive: A, B or C?" I wish we did, because it would make my life goal much more attainable. Instead, we just have to stumble through life, doing our best.

But we don't necessarily have to stumble through blindly. There are steps you can consciously take to make sure you're not just doing the bare minimum of being a decent person. Because as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and good intentions mean diddly squat if you don't actually try to be better.

Uncover Your Blind Spots

First and foremost, you have to acknowledge your blind spots. You may not have thought about it, but everyone has them - at work, at home, with your family, etc. Be aware of the spaces you occupy and, more importantly, the ones you don't. I, for example, am a white, cisgender woman living in the United States. I am very aware of the privilege my status holds, what conversations are "mine" to be a part of, and which battles are mine to support, but not fight (at least not on the frontlines). As a woman, I'm part of a marginalized group, but within that group I have the privilege of whiteness, and I need to be conscientious of that at every turn. I identify as a feminist, but I constantly need to remember that my experience as a woman is not necessarily the same as that of a woman of color.

Which brings me to my next point: if your experience doesn't cover something, turn to someone whose has. Let other people - be it friends, colleagues, experts in the field - be the authority on the subject. And then believe what they tell you. I can't speak to what it's like to be a WOC, so I'm not going to try.

That said, be sure to acknowledge the fact that whoever you ask does not speak for their entire community. They may be able to give you an idea, but just like your experience is not their experience, their experience isn't anyone else's, either.

Be Aware of the Invisible

Another important thing to take into consideration is that not everything about a person is visible. Race, sexual orientation, mental health - they all have varying degrees of visibility between people, and that means you should never be callous about what you're saying. I was once in a conversation with a group of people where someone said, "Your opinion isn't valid, because you're not part of the [LGBTQIA+] community.

Even without trying to be ~PC~ that comment is kind of crappy. But when you consider that there were closeted people participating in the conversation, you realize that a kind of crappy comment changes to a really offensive and hurtful comment, one that at best hurts someone's feelings, and at worst forces someone to come out.

TL;DR, just because you can't see what group someone is a part of doesn't mean you get to be an asshole when you think that group isn't around.

Remember how I said it was difficult? Yeah. That's not going away.

Listen to Others (Even When You Disagree)

The next part of your path towards Being A Good Person is understanding the importance of understanding other people's perspectives. That goes for perspectives you agree with, but more importantly, for ones you don't. There are exceptions to this rule, but we're going to approach it with the assumption that people are inherently good and make the decisions they make because they think they're the best choice for them. And trust me, I know this can be nearly impossible in our current political hellscape. I struggle with this a lot. But I've also learned the importance of it.

When I was in college I had a friend who had a Confederate flag hanging in their bedroom. I didn't know about the flag until a few years into our friendship, and when I first saw it I was, quite honestly, revolted and ready to sever ties right then and there. As a Dutch/New Yorker hybrid, I see the Confederate flag only as a symbol of oppression and the celebration of slavery. As a Georgia native, he was taught that the flag may have some negative connotations, but ultimately it was a great symbol of Southern pride and how the South banded together to fight a common enemy. (Or something - I'm fuzzy on the details.)

At the time, we fought, and it definitely impacted our friendship. Looking back, I realize my friend wasn't a bad person - he was taught something and never considered a different point of view, so he never knew he was doing something "bad."

A more volatile example, but one with a happier ending, is this woman, who grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church. From birth, she was destined to hate, and grew up parroting the things she was taught. As an adult, she was attacked on Twitter left and right for being a horrible person. People sent her death threats, called for her suicide and a whole host of other terrible things. But there were a few people who engaged her in genuine, heartfelt conversation and asked her why she believed in the things she did. Those conversations led her to question her beliefs and ultimately leave the church.

The point is, not everyone who does (subjectively) bad things is inherently evil, and you need to give people the opportunity to change. You don't change hearts and minds by standing on the highest soapbox in town and shouting down at the people who are wrong. You do it by understanding their point of view and coming to a conclusion together.

What I'm preaching here isn't easy, and this last part is the hardest of all.

I'm lucky to work at Nebo, a company whose core beliefs align so truly with my own. Our core beliefs are all rooted in the fact that we believe in love, in equality, in justice for all. How do you truly listen and be open to people who don't agree with that? By remembering that they're people, too, and that everyone has the ability to change for the better.

To bring this back to my original statement of living my life trying never to offend anyone, I know, realistically, that's never going to happen. Hell, I'm sure I've said things in this blog post that are going to offend. But that doesn't mean I'll stop trying.

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The Importance of Perspective and Understanding Others

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I once told my therapist that I live my life trying not to offend anyone. She was pretty taken aback and said that sounded like a very difficult and exhausting way to live life. And she's right - it is.

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You're living in a vibrant multicultural country, so it's great that you want to understand cultures other than your own. There are a few ways to do this, but the most important is to remember that we're all just people who are trying to do the best we can.

What is 'cultural awareness'?

Cultural awareness, or cultural sensitivity, is being aware that cultural differences and similarities exist, while not judging people based on that. A non-judgemental mindset lets you observe cultural differences without labelling them as 'good' or 'bad', or 'right or wrong'.

This doesn't mean that you have to be an expert in other cultures. It just means being willing to be open-minded and to ask questions to get more information, rather than having a knee-jerk reaction to anything you don't agree with.

Why is cultural awareness important?

Australia is super-multicultural, which means that people and traditions from many other countries and cultures are noticeable and celebrated. More likely than not, you're going to meet many people and experience many situations that are unfamiliar to you.

Developing your understanding of other cultures, or 'cultural awareness', lets you have more meaningful interactions with those around you. You're building your respect and empathy for other people, and celebrating your differences as well as your similarities. This makes you less likely to treat someone differently, just because they are from a different culture or ethnicity than you.

Ways to build cultural understanding and awareness

It can be very easy to stick with what you know, rather than try to meet people who are different from you. However, actively trying to understand and embrace cultural differences can open you up to a whole world of experiences. Here's what you can do:

Become self-aware

Work out your own beliefs, values and personal biases. This includes biases about your own cultural background.

Yep - it can be confronting, but by doing this you'll be able to think about how these traits might impact on your approach to and understanding of differences.

You could try: Think about what assumptions you make about your friends, peers, people you work with and strangers you see walking down the street. What assumptions do you make about people from the same background as you?

Do your own research

Learning about different cultures can be a great way to develop an understanding of cultural diversity.

You could try: Check out some foreign films on SBS or Netflix, attend a local food festival, or search for some online resources. For example, check out Common Ground 's resources for learning about Indigenous Australian culture and history.

Talk to someone from a different cultural background

Try and get to know someone from a different cultural background better. You don't necessarily have to ask them directly about their culture, but by getting to know them as a friend or peer, you'll automatically find out more about their life and experiences. Just being curious and open-minded can be helpful.

You could try: Have a chat or catch-up with an acquaintance, friend or coworker that you've wanted to get to know better. Remember to treat them just like you would anyone else, and don't think of them only as a way to get to know about other cultural backgrounds.

If you'd rather try your luck online, there are sites that help you look for an international penpal. This is also a great way to practise your language skills if you're learning a language.

Travel!

One of the best ways to experience and understand other cultures is to actually live among them. It might take a while to save for, but planning a trip overseas to a country you're interested in can be the best way of opening yourself up to new cultures.

You could try: Check out some virtual travel and history experiences from the comfort of your own home.

Be more accepting

Sometimes, for one reason or another, it's not all that easy to understand some cultural differences. In these situations, the best approach is just to acknowledge that some people are different and to accept that that's okay. You don't have to understand, or even agree with, someone in order to accept them.

You could try: Practise being empathetic towards the people around you and be mindful of your thoughts about others. Try not to compare or judge. Learn more about how you can become more accepting.

Culturally different, with diverse opinions

Even if you hear or read something about a certain culture, it's important to realise that this doesn't mean everyone from that particular background acts/thinks/believes the same thing. Just as not everyone you know has identical beliefs, people who come from different cultural backgrounds aren't all a certain way, either.

Think beyond stereotypes

One of the biggest difficulties to overcome in understanding cultural differences is making judgements based on one opinion. Do your own research and make an effort to actually learn about people, instead of making broad-brush assessments. Stereotyping people from different cultural backgrounds can impact their quality of life and opportunities.

Everyone is unique

The main thing to remember is that everyone, no matter what their cultural background, has their own unique opinions, habits and ways of life. The sooner you accept that everyone is different, the easier it becomes to understand and embrace cultural differences.

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You're surrounded by different cultures and races everywhere you go. Here are some ways you can understand cultures that are different from your own.

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The word "community" is used so often today, it's reached buzzword status. And when the term is thrown around in countless contexts, it's easy to lose sight of the importance of community-and how to develop communities that add purpose and joy to our lives.

What is community?

So, what exactly is community? In its simplest form, it's a group of people with something in common. That shared factor could be family, geography, faith, race, or life stage. It could also be an overlapping interest, passion, or profession.

But for a group of people to form a true community that enriches the lives of its members, the individuals involved must also feel a shared sense of trust, connection, and caring for one another .

Why are communities so important?

Strong communities are critical because they're often an important source of social connection and a sense of belonging. Participating in a community bonded by attitudes, values, and goals is an essential ingredient to enjoying a fulfilling life.

The absence of social connections can have profound effects on our overall health. An early study on the psychological impact of the COVID-19 pandemic showed that loneliness was one of the factors with the greatest psychological impact on people's health. The impacts of low social connection on health include:

Elevated risk factors. Studies show people who lack strong social connections are also more likely to suffer from high levels of stress and inflammation, and face higher risk for suicide and early death.

Chronic disease. Research consistently links the lack of social connectedness with health conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, immune disorders and cancer. suicide and early death.

Mental health. Social isolation can also impact mental health and well-being . Strong social ties are crucial to mental health-they can lower stress and anxiety and help people thrive.

Ultimately, communities give people a supportive group to help them cope with difficult challenges, band together to solve problems, and celebrate life's lighter moments.

8 types of communities

Communities exist in many forms, both formal and informal. Formal institutions such as faith-based organizations, schools, and governments might be some of the first types of community that come to mind. But informal groups, such as carpools or study groups, often play an important role in our lives, too.

Informal groups in particular are an important resource for individuals who are part of underrepresented groups and may not have access to or feel comfortable in traditional organizations rooted in inequity. For those seeking safe, inclusive spaces, informal gathering places such as barber shops or online forums can become deeply meaningful sources of community.

Because communities can align along many factors, such as location, identity, interests, or organization, you may already belong to several without even realizing it. Some common examples of communities include:

Some towns or neighborhoods are more tightly knit than others, but many people belong to a community that's formed by virtue of a shared zip code or street. For some, the people you pass on the sidewalk or in the hallway every day might be strangers. But they can also be friends, allies or even people to turn to in times of trouble.

Faith-based organizations

A group of individuals united by religious or spiritual beliefs is a longstanding community institution. Whether they meet in a church, synagogue, temple, or online, faith-based organizations may be one of the most easily recognizable forms of community because of their history, reach, and dense networks.

Cooking, reading, running, music-there are an infinite number of possibilities for groups centered around shared interests. Clubs or groups joined by interest or activity allow members to meet new people and foster newfound or longtime personal passions. The virtual options available make finding and participating in these groups easier than ever.

Volunteering can take many different shapes, from phone banking to cleaning up a park. And volunteer work might be driven by a big national nonprofit organization or a tiny grass-roots effort that started in your own backyard. In any case, people working together on a cause that's important to them often create a meaningful community.

An alumni association or network typically exists in the context of an educational institution, and it combines several layers of shared experiences in one. Members might fondly recall their time on the same campus, the class requirements they all completed or the institutional traditions they participated in. Alumni networks provide social and professional connections long after individuals have graduated.

While they've always been more than just a place to work, the traditional coworking space has recently undergone new shifts to become more than a physical space. Modern coworking spaces have evolved in design and approach like this cohort of founders launching places for people of color . Offering both inclusive physical spaces and digital communities, they highlight the importance of community development in the workplace.

Professional development groups

Career-focused networks exist for nearly every type of job or specialty imaginable, and they can often be a great resource throughout an individual's professional life. These groups might gather for conferences, offer mentorship or training, explore industry issues and help members achieve their goals. Over time, these communities can serve as a critical form of support and guidance for individuals and even leave a mark on entire professions.

Employee resource groups

In organizations, an employee resource group (ERG) is an employee-led group that fosters inclusivity and builds community. The purpose of an ERG is to create a safe, supportive space for underrepresented employees who share a common identity, and they may be organized by certain shared characteristics like gender identity, ethnicity, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, or age. As a community, ERG members and organizational decision-makers work to create an inclusive company culture, connection, and personal and professional growth.

Importance of communities and mental health

In recent months, the toll of the COVID-19 pandemic has highlighted the importance of community as it relates to mental health. As feelings of isolation , anxiety, and depression have increased during the pandemic, many people are seeking meaningful connections to help them cope-and that's one of the most vital functions communities perform.

Communities are inherently about relationships with others and a feeling of connectedness, which have a major impact on mental health . Without community, people may feel more isolated and lonely.

One of the ways we can strengthen our mental health is by building community and creating the social connection and support to have more vulnerable conversations . By creating spaces where open dialogue is safe and encouraged, people can deepen their understanding of one another, work together to address challenges, and find the support they need to navigate tough times.

8 benefits of communities

As a member of a community, you have access to a support network of peers. Whether you turn to your community to commiserate, seek advice, or simply share your story, having a supportive group in your life can have a powerful effect on your overall well-being.

Members of a profession-based community can help drive growth and performance . ERGs in particular can develop internal leaders, educate employees, and have a positive impact on retention for members of underrepresented groups.

With a secure sense of belonging comes a sense of purpose, something people are increasingly searching for due to the pandemic . Belonging and purpose can help increase feelings of solidarity and fulfillment, which can be important both personally and professionally. And a strong sense of purpose can even help you live longer .

Communities can be a source of joy! Coming together physically or virtually, finding points of connection with others, and enjoying moments of celebration and camaraderie can leave us feeling engaged and refreshed. Those positive feelings may help lower stress and anxiety.

New inspiration and ideas

Immersing yourself in a group of individuals exposes you to a diversity of ideas, viewpoints, and personalities. There's bound to be something new to learn or an unexpected thought to appreciate from your fellow members.

Empowered decision-making

An empowering environment comes out of mutual trust and respect, which speaks to the importance of community development. In a strong community, where people have opportunities to build each other up and develop trust, people feel greater confidence and engagement within the organization and on an individual level.

Better communication skills

Effective communication requires connecting to others, a key pillar of a community. Developing relationships with fellow community members is an exercise in listening and building meaningful rapport.

Start building your communities

Communities can take many different shapes, and they're formed on the basis of all kinds of commonalities-including shared interests, geography, or identity.

At their best, being part of a group provides social connections, friendship, and practical and emotional support. They can help us see the world in new ways and provide needed perspective.

Community involvement can enrich the lives of the people on your teams and help individuals overcome the obstacles in their way.

We all need community. You can show the importance of community to your teams through your own example. Start looking for ways to get involved with the communities in your life.

Not sure where to start? The beauty of communities is that you can contribute just by participating. Just showing up can enrich your life, the lives of others, and build more resilient organizations and societies.

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Importance of Community - How Collective Solutions Help

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Communities are a building block of society and are key to our mental health. Learn the importance and meaning of communities, their types, and benefits.

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The world around us is a wreck. When there's so much conflict around the country and around the corner, it's easy to feel overwhelmed, powerless, and helpless. What can one person do to make a difference?

Here's the good news. Millions of everyday people are ready to step into their power to transform their communities. And you are one of them. Take heart and be inspired by real stories of ordinary people who took action and changed their corner of the world, one step at a time. Equal parts inspiration, education, and Do-It-Yourself, Transforming Communities by veteran community activist Sandhya Jha will open your eyes to the world-healing potential within you, and give you the vision, the tools, and the encouragement to start transforming your neighborhood, one person at a time.

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Transforming Communities: How People Like You are Healing Their Neighborhoods

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Transforming Communities: How People Like You are Healing Their Neighborhoods [Jha, Sandhya Rani] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Transforming Communities: How People Like You are Healing Their Neighborhoods

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Belong: Find Your People, Create... book by Radha Agrawal

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Buy a cheap copy of Belong: Find Your People, Create... book by Radha Agrawal. Get ready to focus on the single most important thing you can do to live a happy, healthy, and successful life: BELONG. Read this book, do what it says, and... Free Shipping on all orders over $15.

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Help kids understand our interconnected community through books and stories. These books build awareness of how we all affect each other and point the way toward actions of community care.

For more books about community care and systemic change, try these resources:

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Kids' Books About Community Connections and Care

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Help kids understand our interconnected community through books and stories. These books build awareness of how we all affect each other and point the way toward actions of community care.

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The Essential Power of Belonging - TED Talk

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Caroline Clarke: The Essential Power of Belonging | TED Talk

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Author and journalist Caroline Clarke explores our fundamental need for belonging and how critical it is not only to every individual’s fulfillment and success but to our collective wellbeing and future. Drawing from her work as Women of Power Chief Brand Officer and her own family’s journey with…

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Learning from Your Community - Building a Brilliant, Passionate Community | Coursera

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Video created by University of Michigan for the course “Brilliant, Passionate You”. In this module, we’ll explore the importance of a strong community connection and learn about the GIVE model.

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Most people would never guess that for a good portion of my life, I've felt like an outsider.

I always had a lot of friends and would surround myself with people constantly. My entire career was built off of being "a people person." I was with people so much that I convinced myself that I was an extrovert. I dragged myself to more happy hours than I had the budget for, didn't miss a single birthday, and prided myself on being the one person everyone could rely on.

It would take years for me to learn that I was secretly an introvert with extreme people-pleasing tendencies. And even though I was a social butterfly, I was actually very lonely inside.

Through the years, I have learned ways to manage these people-pleasing tendencies, and feel more like myself. Here are four tips - if you find yourself feeling lonely - to achieve a greater sense of belonging:

1. Challenge Your Core Beliefs

According to Talkspace therapist Joanna Filidor, LMFT, people who struggle with a poor sense of belonging have likely struggled with it for most of their life. For example, if you grew up feeling different, you might hold a core belief of "I do not belong." These types of core beliefs become sticky and begin to shape how you view the world. "As you begin to go through life," explained Filidor, "your brain only pays attention to the evidence that will support the core belief 'I do not belong' so even if the overall experience is one where you do belong, you might give more weight to the one interaction with a coworker where you didn't belong."

The more inner work I do, the more I realize the extent to which I crafted my life around fitting in with those around me rather than developing my own sense of self. It's easy to do, especially if you are super sensitive like me. For example, I grew up in a household of academics - my dad is a retired physician and my mom is a scientist - so, of course, as a little girl I did what I needed to do to fit in and be seen. I excelled at school, focused on pursuing a traditional career path, and kept my creativity side over in the "hobby" category. Without being able to express my authentic self, I unknowingly developed a narrative that I didn't belong because I never felt free to be myself.

2. Practice Unconditional Self-Acceptance

In her book "Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone," Brené Brown says, "I don't think there's anything lonelier than being with people and feeling alone." I can't tell you how many times I've been surrounded by people and felt completely alone. It's hands-down one of the worst feelings. Because the logical part of you is screaming "How could you possibly feel alone right now? There are so many people to talk to!" by your heart is saying, "But I don't want to talk to anyone. No one understands me here."

I've found that a lot of my feelings of loneliness stem from a deeper well of unworthiness. That people don't understand me, don't get me, don't see me, and don't appreciate me. One of the only ways I've been able to pull myself out of the painful feelings of not belonging is to practice self-love and unconditional self-acceptance. Filidor reiterates that experiences like trauma, dysfunctional childhood, and unhealthy relationships can lead to a feeling of not belonging. "These experiences cause a person to chronically experience a lack of unconditional self-acceptance," shared Filidor, "leading them to rely on external forces for validation." If you can feel worthy all on your own, then the feeling of not belonging won't sting as much.

3. Make Room for "And"

There are times when I feel like I belong with my friends but not with my family. Or my work but not my company. Or the White community but not the Asian community. Or the Asian community but not the White community. Or my marriage but not the location in which we live.

Belonging is multi-faceted and it's important to respect the complexity of your feelings about the spaces in which you feel you do or do not belong. When you have different and conflicting identities, Filidor stresses the importance of using the word "and" instead of "or." As she explains, "We can be one thing and another at the same time, even if those contradict." Understanding that you can feel multiple ways - even if contradictory - allows room to feel accepting of yourself and who are.

4. Prioritize Healing Yourself

I never would have been able to articulate the roots of my loneliness without the help of therapy and other expert resources. Investing in your own inner work and making your healing journey a priority is critical to achieving a sense of belonging. After all, we can't change behaviors, relationships, or mindsets that we aren't aware need changing.

Here are three of Filidor's favorite resources to check out:

It is hard, especially in our increasingly divided world, to feel a sense of belonging. Social media makes it even harder by painting an unrealistic picture that no one else ever feels lonely. However, it's completely normal to feel lonely at times. And if that wave of loneliness washes over you, remember that you are loved, you are worthy, and you don't have to be anyone else but yourself.

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4 Steps to Achieve a Sense of Belonging | Talkspace

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Most people would never guess that for a good portion of my life, I've felt like an outsider. I always had a lot of friends and would surround myself with people constantly. My entire career was built off of being "a people person."

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Ways to Be Socially Healthy | Activities for Social Connections

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Staying connected is critical to good health. Hello4Health is an online resource designed to help bring meaningful social connections back into our lives.

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Connected Leadership - How do you Strengthen Connections and Community?

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In the wake of the pandemic, people have discovered what it truly means to connect, but also what it truly means to be lonely.

Turn video chats into weekly connection dates

Now that practically every app we use has the option for video calling, we've started treating this as just another version of texting the grocery list. Add to that, people often don't have the tendency to savor these conversations, even when they are all we have in self-isolation and during such difficult situations such as the pandemic.

One way to build relationships remotely is to use these video chats as more than an act of courtesy. Schedule them and respect them much like you'd schedule and honor a dinner date. Turn them into meaningful moments to connect by drinking a cup of coffee and devoting all of your attention to that discussion. Commit to these calls and they'll become a wonderful source of closeness, even remotely.

Asking meaningful questions - and listen

We have such an abundance of resources available at our fingertips or merely clicks away that we have become used to a different way to communicate. From googling information to asking our voice assistants to help us learn something new, we rarely ever rush to our friends for advice anymore.

Even if you don't intend to use every tip people around you can share from their experience, that is one of the most fundamental ways for us to exchange ideas and come up with creative solutions to everyday issues.

Building and joining a community

Cultivating peer bonds can be a challenge, especially as we grow older and more set in our ways. When the kids fly the nest, or you're widowed or divorced, connecting with people of your age can be difficult. This is where digital outlets are a perfect opportunity to fuel your social life in silver years, online as well as offline.

Connecting through nature and activity

Especially now, when the ability to meet people is fairly limited, spending time with your close friend or family member enjoying a hike or a walk in the park is a treat we all need. This is a perfect opportunity to organize a getaway in a lake cottage or a seaside house with someone you love.

It helps you detach yourself from the stress of everyday living, work, and obligations, and it allows you to have hours of meaningful discussions and think about life in general. This can be a truly restorative experience especially for someone in their silver years, needing to reconnect with their perpetually busy family members.

Fostering socialization and community through hobbies

There are activities that even have a unique way of enabling people to bond, such as dancing. The physical closeness combined with the effort to help one another master a new skill brings people together. In the current situation, you have limited options, but once the pandemic passes, you can choose your hobbies for more than their initial purpose - to grow your social circle.

Conclusion

As imperfect as this world of ours can be, we can create our own little universe built on closeness, kindness, and connection. Fortunately for all of us, we have access to a wide array of social networks that help us stay connected. By combining these digital connections with creative activities, we can foster lifelong companionships and improve the quality of our lives with this new mindset. The listed tips can help you weave more meaningful relationships into your life, effortlessly so, and build communities with like-minded people around you, online as well as offline.

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The Importance of Connection and Community in the Modern World - Monterey Premier

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Now that practically every app we use has the option for video calling, we've started treating this as just another version of texting the grocery list. Add to that, people often don't have the tendency to savor these conversations, even when they are all we have in self-isolation and during such difficult situations such as the pandemic.

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VolunteerMatch - Where Volunteering Begins

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A Guide to Developing Community Connections

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I spent last Saturday at a local music and arts festival and when I say local, I mean LOCAL. Organizers held the venue in my citys park, all food vendors were from mom-and-pop shops around town (no national chains), artists from around the area displayed their jewelry, paintings, clothing, and other merchandise, and all musicians were from within the tri-state area. I had a great time shopping, eating, and listening to great tunes with family and friends, and Im grateful for everyone who worked so hard to put together the festival.

Im a firm believer that getting involved in your community is beneficial for both your mind and your body. Theres a sense of connection, solidarity, and strength that comes from organizing or participating in an event within your own neck of the woods.

With that being said, below are seven ways you can get involved in your own community.

1. Look for Local Events

Keep an eye on newspaper and news station announcements. Whether its a music and arts festival, a performance by your local dance troupe, or a special presentation such as an outdoor movie viewing, GO!

2. Volunteer Your Time

There are TONS of ways you can volunteer your time. For example, you might volunteer as a dog walker for your local animal shelter or volunteer to read to the elderly at retirement homes. Just think about whats important to you, reach out to that organization, and ask!

3. Donate Your Resources

If you dont have time to volunteer, then donate. Actually, donate anyway! Some donation ideas include donating:

Clothes and household goods to your local thrift shops or area Salvation Army or Goodwill.

Food to your citys food bank.

Bed linens to your towns city mission or homeless shelter.

Books to area libraries.

Food, cleaning supplies, and bedding to your local animal shelter.

NOTE: Theres DEFINITELY nothing wrong with donating money, too, but I feel like actual products get you more involved in the community.

4. Shop Locally

Buy from local vendors. I purchased the cutest handmade bracelet from the festival, and there were paintings and clothes there, too. You can also skip the Big Box grocery stores and shop with locally owned grocers or at farmer markets.

5. Join a Class or Group

Two summers ago I joined a running class hosted by a track runner from one of my states universities, which surprise! is located in my city. I met like-minded people, learned more about an activity I enjoy, and spent registration money you guessed it locally.

My town also has ongoing groups for runners, bikers (of the pedaling variety), and other outdoor activities.

6. Support Your Local Sports Teams

You might not even be aware of how many sports teams surround you. Think about it. Does your town have a Little League? What about a Minor League? Think about high school and college sports teams can you go support them? Remember: Players play because they love the game, but seeing fans in the stands can make a world of difference.

7. Organize Your Own Event

OK, so maybe you don't feel qualified (or have enough time) to organize something as involved as a music and arts festival or marathon, but that doesn't mean you can't team up with a few friends and organize a fun event! Think about special kids' events at the library, car washes to raise money for your church, or putting together goodie baskets for hospitals and retirement homes.
Your turn! How do YOU get involved in YOUR community?

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7 Simple Ways You Can Get Involved in Your Community

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I spent last Saturday at a local music and arts festival and when I say local, I mean LOCAL. Organizers held the venue in my citys park, all food vendors were from mom-and-pop shops around town (no national chains), artists from around the area displayed their jewelry, paintings, clothing, and other merchandise, and all musicians were from within the tri-state area.

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Common Conceptions of Community

How can we create community connection - including more support, belonging, smiles, and growth - in our lives?

Bianca Heyming gave a TED talk based on her experiences, affectionately called 'Intentional Communities - 50% Less Hippie Than You'd Expect.'

She first comedically explores people's misconceptions about living in an intentional community. Common first questions she receives about where she lives are:

How many Husbands do you really have?

Who is your Leader?

Do you all make bonfires, play guitar, and pass the dutchie to the left hand side?

There are plenty of lovely hippie communities out there. And there are also a few communities out there with defined leaders, or a focus on sexual partners.

But as you know, these questions are all based on limited information and out-of-date stereotypes.

There are actually thousands of communities around the world, with a wide range of variation. Many or even most will be more recognizable and reasonable than one might assume. They seem obvious once you see people spending time together smiling.

Unifying Beliefs Lead the Way

Intentional communities form by people having a common intention - a uniting interest, a set of values, a common vision for the world and how to live in it.

For Bianca, and a group of friends and neighbors in San Diego, the question that initiated their intentional community was simple, "What if we raised our kids together?"

The group found that they also shared two fundamental beliefs: 1) a commitment to continual development of themselves - in mind, body, and spirit; and 2) no problem using attorneys to draw up binding agreements to ensure that a community was forged and maintained reasonably.

People. A Purpose. And Structure. This is what it takes to start an intentional community. With a whole lot of relationship building, collaboration, hard work and persistence to make it possible and to care for it along the way.

Developing Connections through Openness & Vulnerability

The reasons for building and living in an intentional community may seem obvious - including it being a great place to raise children, having heartfelt connections to and supporting each other, living more sustainably and resiliently, etc.

But developing that connection with each other is not always easy, and in fact, often requires experiences of bearing our vulnerable, imperfect, fallible selves to each other, in order to feel truly seen, understood, accepted, nurtured, supported, and respected by others.

Social media encourages people to show the world only what is pretty, happy, successful, and acceptable. Life is not actually like that, of course! And in intentional communities, the truth emerges.

Life is difficult. Relationships and parenting can be exhausting, draining, and defeating. Professional life and personal finance, our physical and mental well-being, and all the challenges that life includes, can wear you raw. But that is all part of real life.

People who form or join and who stay in intentional communities are typically eager to accept, or learn to accept, that reality. We get to see the real people behind the facade, and to meet each other there. We connect to work together towards better lives.

Stay in Community - Stay in Connection

That level of personal and interpersonal dialogue is just too intense for some people to face, and it makes them want to leave. The speaker in this presentation encourages people to stay - not just in intentional communities, but in communities in general.

Keep talking with each other. Keep the dialogue going. Gather and share, even when you are not at your absolute sharpest, most done up, well-rested, and chipper. Keep exploring, expressing, and evolving your sense of your experience and what you value, by meeting yourself and the people in your community where you are. You are resilient!

Bianca Heyming's message resonates with the most popular TED talk of all time, about the Power of Vulnerability from Brene Brown. In order to get the most out of life, relationships, and your career, you must "Dare Greatly!"

It is through expressing honest vulnerability that we allow ourselves to be known, and to meet with life and each other from where we are actually coming from. This forms true connections, and nurtures a safe place that we can all grow from.

Bianca recounts a moving experience where the women of her community supported her through a trying time for her and her family. She had never been given the permission to experience and share her own suffering like that, and to be loved through it. Although it was challenging and revealing, it was a relieving and transformative experience for her.

Learn Techniques of Communication

Having a strong desire to connect and to collaborate, and being open to learning more about yourself and others, are key ingredients to create community connection.

To help us along this path of connecting to ourselves and each other, Bianca Heyming highly recommends that we learn more about communication and group process.

She advises learning from models, resources, and experts in group process, therapy, communications and facilitation, and the like, to expand your awareness of and constructive response-ability to things that are bound to come up in ourselves and in group dynamics.

More than useful in intentional communities, these tools and insights can serve everyone in their friendships, family relationships, and parenting styles, as well as local church, affinity, and community groups.

You can find some resources on Group Dynamics, Communication, and Governance in the Communities Bookstore, including the fresh Communication in Community.

Also you can check out the Governance + Group Dynamics blog posts, and Communities magazine articles on Group Process.

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What it Takes to Create Community Connection - Imperfect Vulnerability

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How can we create community connection - including more support, belonging, smiles, and growth - in our lives? Bianca Heyming gave a TED talk based on her experiences, affectionately called 'Intentional Communities - 50% Less Hippie Than You'd Expect.' She first comedically explores people's misconceptions about living in an intentional community.