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Veličanje vlastite inteligencije, a podcjenjivanje tuđe.

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Yes, self-confidence is an important element of success. Knowing your strengths and relying upon them; having the self-possession to express your point of view and stand by it...these are admirable and necessary.

However, in the case of self-confidence, it is possible to have too much of a good thing. An excess of confidence in your own own point of view or capabilities can harden into dogmatism, inflexibility, not listening.

A friend sent me the link to this truly fascinating video on Youtube last night. (You can skip through the ad and turn off the music, if you'd like.) It starts getting interesting about 30 seconds in:

I loved this as a visual example of what happens (at least to me) all the time. I'm absolutely, completely, 100% convinced that I'm right about a situation, or that a conclusion is true, or that a circumstance isn't possible, and then....Whoa. Something causes me to see the situation differently; it stretches into an entirely different shape (metaphorically), and I think, "How could I have been so far off?"

And then - this is the optimal response - I quickly reframe my thinking and realize that I was missing information, or making unwarranted assumptions, or cherry-picking the data, or indulging in wishful thinking disguised as logic.

The less-than-optimal response is continued full confidence in my original belief, and a refusal to accept the possibility that the new reality is true.

This inability to question your own conclusions is hugely self-limiting. To be open to doubting your beliefs and opinions is, when you think about it, the only real path to growth.

I met a man recently who was absolutely and unalterably convinced that he is a great leader, and that his company's current success is due almost entirely to to him. As far as I can tell, no one else in the company shares that belief, and there is a lot of pretty compelling information pointing to the opposite conclusion. I understand that he has one outside advisor who agrees with his self-assessment, and I believe that he's decided that the two of them are seeing the situation accurately and that everyone else is just dead wrong.

In fact, at one point in the conversation - just to see whether he was movable at all - I said, "This is a tough situation. You and your colleague (another senior leader in the company) have pretty much diametrically opposed views; he thinks he's making the company successful in spite of your actions - while you think that you're responsible for the company's success, in spite of his."

His response, basically, was - "Well, he can think what he wants, but he's wrong." His self-confidence is so impervious (and so misplaced) that I fear he will ultimately lose his job as a result of it.

Having enough self-confidence to be bold and create the life you want: good.

Using self-confidence as a shield against uncomfortable reality: bad.

Being so genuinely self-confident that you can say "Maybe I'm wrong" or "I'm no longer sure...": priceless.

____________________

Erika Andersen's latest book, Leading So People Will Follow, is now an international business bestseller.

Are you a followable leader? Take the Accepted Leader Assessment and find out.

What does leader readiness mean?

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Yes, self-confidence is an important element of success. Knowing your strengths and relying upon them; having the self-possession to express your point of view and stand by it...these are admirable and necessary. However, in the case of self-confidence, it is possible to have too much of a good thing.

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Manje inteligentni ljudi su u manjem doticaju sa stvarnošću zbog čega su u nemogućnosti odrediti vlastite slabosti i prepoznati manjak vještina. S druge strane, inteligentniji ljudi su previše skromni čime podcjenjuju vlastite vještine u usporedbi s drugima.

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Mnogo puta u školi, kada bi profesorica postavila pitanje uvijek su u dizanju ruke bili brži oni učenici niže razine inteligencije koji su smatrali da znaju odgovor. Ispostavilo se da u većini slučaja nisu bili u pravu, dok su oni učenici koji su znali previše sumnjali u svoje sposobnosti te zbog toga nisu digli ruku.

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Izostanak objektivnosti prilikom donošenja prosudbi o osobi koja nam je bliska ili privlačna.

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Ljudi su skloni vezanju za druge ljude do te mjere da ih idealiziraju te zbog toga nisu u stanju biti objektivni u pojedinim situacijama. Bez obzira koliko nam se druga osoba sviđala ili bila draga, važno je ne ostati zaslijepljen našom percepcijom o njima, nego pokušati biti što objektivniji te sagledati situaciju izvan naših okvira.

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Imala sam prijateljicu koja je bila starija od mene i koja mi je bila uzor. Uvijek mi se bilo s njom "cool" družiti i nije mi bio problem se upustiti u svađu s nekime jer sam uvijek bila na njezinoj strani. Kako sam odrasla, kada pogledam unazad, shvaćam da mi je dosta vremena prodavala lažne priče i da prijateljstvo nije bilo istinsko. Moja pogreška je što nisam bila objektivna u takvim situacijama i ostala zaslijepljena vlastitim viđenjem nje.

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Generaliziranje stvari, situacija, ljudi na temelju onoga što nam prvo padne na pamet.

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Ljudi u određenim situacijama pridaju veliku važnost onome što im prvo padne na pamet, drugim riječima sjećanja mogu prevladati razum. Mnogo njih se ustručava učiniti neku stvar samo zato što su nekad negdje pročitali lošu stvar o tome u medijima. Bitno je ograditi se od takvih sjećanja i sagledati cijelu situaciju iz različitih kuteva.

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Moj prijatelj zbog straha da će se avion srušiti, odlučio je ne ići avionom u Njemačku, nego busom. Ispostavilo se na kraju da je busom putovao 20 sati i doživio neugodnih iskustava, dok je njegov brat odlučio ići avionom i došao u Njemačku za dva sata. Moj prijatelj se odlučio na taj potez isključivo zbog toga što je nekad prije na tv-u i internetu vidio da se dogodila avionska nesreća.